I'm gonna eat your hands at some point today
MOTHER NO

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I'm gonna eat your hands at some point today
MOTHER NO
Listen to your friend.
Do the damn challenge. You're annoying the rest of us. >:/
oh well that’s life :)
“Why do humans use red hats now? Is it a cult? I would love to join this cult if there are sacrifices.”
NaNoWriMo #1
Guess who has been in a big ole funk about writing, and also just generally? I know I know, I say that all the time. It’s like that meme “I’m going through a rough patch, except for the last 20 years”. It turns out, writing is difficult when you’re in a funk, especially the hot hypnosis kind, especially since I haven’t been particularly kinky lately.
Guess who ALSO is blatantly stealing @enscenic‘s idea!
So I’ll be writing a little something every day this month. Even if it’s not hypnosis, even if it’s a regular story, or even if it’s just a personal story. I know I knowww, I’ll tag them all under #AriNo so you can block the tag if you’d rather not see it! The ones with hypnosis will still have the #hypnosis tag though! And the ones that have short stories will also be tagged with #short.
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We’ll start off with something that’s a mix of both personal and hypnosis. I had a really rough day! Stuff happened this morning that while not the end of the world, was kind of the straw that broke the camel’s back of a torrent of feelings that’d been building up for a few weeks. I came back home and cried, curled up in the sheets and all, mind racing through the worst scenarios of things that weren’t even related, but if I was going to fail at one thing I might as well consider failing them all.
Then I zoomed out.
Something I’ve sort of gotten used to mentally picturing when I trance is sort of a mini-map, a video game-esque map. It can be 3d with landscapes and decorations or what not, or it can just be 2d lines and dots. As I’m bad at visualizing things generally, mine are 2d. So often hypnosis is about focusing or letting your mind go blank and a lot of fictional depictions of it do tend towards those elements - I’m guilty of it myself, and while a lot of people do experience those some do not! I know personally I’m SHIT at focusing because of my attention issues, and similarly going blank is just rarely a thing I can ever conceive of.
So I let myself float. And I zoom out. And I let thoughts come and go as they may without really paying mind to any of them, and part of it is that trance makes it easier to relax and let go and another part is that when I do, whatever the hypnotist is saying becomes more of a firm thought in my mind, you know? Among all the floating thoughts of “I want donuts. Wow. Have I not had donuts in...over a year!?” and “nananaNA nana na, nananana nana. What was that song again?” and “oh shit, pay attention idiot!” and “it’s cold.” and “is my trance face ugly?” none of them feel solid enough to linger around and just flit around just outside of understanding. Having somebody speak directly into my ear, while it’s not as if I’m ONLY focusing on their voice, it definitely does take precedent over thoughts that don’t even have a voice to them.
Additionally? It’s helped me tremendously with memory play. It’s a finnicky kind of play for me usually because I have difficulty NOT letting go of things and usually I’ll always be able to remember it which is why I try not to demo them - I always feel like I’m pretending or making it up. But when I “zoom out”, that landscape, those lines become small. Not only are the thoughts see-through and barely there, they’re also just smaller. Farther away. And I zoom out. Zoom out. Until where I was in the map was just one very small corner, in the wide expanse that is my maze of a brain. And you know how when you look down from bridges or airplanes, how the cars are so small, and you can barely even see the people? There’s no point in squinting to try and make out the thoughts. You’re on a damn airplane! Or bridge. It’s a metaphor. For trance. Because hypnosis.
So I zoomed out today. And I got up in a mental numb fog and I went walking to get myself some fried rice. Because I wasn’t going to make myself cook. And I went walking again afterwards because I didn’t want to fall back into that small corner of thoughts, in my bed. And I walked to a shop I hadn’t been to before, and the park near my apartment. And I even stumbled into a meet-up relevant to my interests. Did I feel incredibly out of place? Yes. Will I see those people ever again? Who knows. Even if I made a fool out of myself. Zoom out, and those people might not ever be relevant to me again. I can never see what car specifically is speeding by when I’m sitting at the bridge. Just that a car has passed by. And cars will always pass by.
And lo and behold, walking back as the sky grew impossibly dark at what used to feel like an early hour, I was still a little numb. Feeling raw. But I got some food. Saw a park. Even saw some cars drive by. The world is bigger than me, or even you and me. And by that token, trance, for me, is falling into a deep pool within myself, and realizing how vast it is under the surface, how small I am in comparison, losing myself in it, and finding solace in that loss.
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KnitPicks: has a huge winter yarn sale
Me, to myself: Hoe don't do it...
ariana mentioned tour
“Who’s hot?” (I think that Renly would actually ask that, both in canon and modern)
Send “Who’s hot?” and my muse will list off who they think the most attractive people in their canon fandom are'
Renly [ @bestofthem]
"Hmmm." she swirls the summer red in her glass, before lifting it to her lips, and taking, a long, slow sip. "they're twats on legs, but the Lannister twins are hot. if they really are fucking, that's a sandwich in which i wouldn't mind being the filling." she follows her statement with a laughter.