Since I've graduated from lurking, a bit on me - my blog is largely about hypnosis and other kink informational posts, and I also occasionally write things! Late 20s. See the Stories tab above for my writings, and feel free to ask me anything! Occasionally NSFW. Like my stories or my writing? Support me if you'd like on Ko-Fi at Arihie!
made a post about how I'm relieved and excited to be alive in 2026 and how I'm glad I exist in a time where music and education and communication are so expansive and accessible and said post wasn't even up for a single hour before someone started declaring that actually there are evil revolting breaches of human rights happening right now. not even an hour
I am asking with all the kindness I can muster to please let people tentatively express their hope for the future without needing to remind them that actually, sometimes life is terrible and horrific. I am aware. please trust me I am so aware. I am alive on planet earth. it is hard to not be aware. I just also want to enjoy being alive. I don't have to be constantly miserable in order to care about other people. jesus fucking christ
about five years ago i smashed into the back of a car that stopped in front of me on a highway on-ramp, because i was focusing on trying to merge on without getting flattened by a truck, since it was a very short on-ramp. very scary! i had sort of flashbacks to the moment of it for several months. no one was hurt, but my car was totaled, the car i hit was totaled, and another car that car was bumped forward into was totaled. the guy at the place they towed bashed car said he was surprised i wasn't hurt. certainly not ever taking that particular on-ramp again...fortunately everyone i hit was really nice about it & the driver of the car i hit even hugged me. #midwest things, perhaps...if someone hit my parked car & then got mad at me about it, i would probably end up in jail, at least for the night, from attacking.
Goodness that sounds like quite the ordeal. My accident wasn’t anything like that (again, parked) and I still took a little bit to process it. I’m glad you were treated kindly during it, and that you weren’t hurt. What happens afterwards/how you’re treated definitely impact you a lot - it’s why I’m so emotionally struck by the thought of the two spa employees watching over me still. But yeah, quite unfortunate the other driver in my particular situation was combative and blamed me somehow. Luckily I had Spider and Bats come over to help me get home and got plenty of reassurance.
Glad you're not injured and I hope things work out okay and you feel alright ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ It's good that you have people and community helping you out, it helps so much having that kind of anchor
Thank you! I am doing well and being spoiled by my partners. A more terrible fate avoided me by just a few inches and it has only made me all the more appreciative. Thank you for the kind words and for checking in on me ❤️ this too, is community.
Got into a car accident last week. The car is not very drivable but I’m okay - only damage was mental as it was a very near miss. Is it considered an accident if my car was parked and the other party just decided to swing into it mere inches from me to make my life flash before my eyes? Maybe it is considered an incident rather than accident. No matter. It happened in front of an Asian spa place. The entire time as I stood there, rigid and tense and alone, there were two older Asian women watching over me from inside the storefront, fretting with worried eyes and pacing around.
I was too nervous to engage with them. I can’t help but cry in any confrontation even if I’m not upset (it’s awful) and my entire body was locked up with how strongly I was trying to repress that tendency/my emotions around this already combative driver (upset about hitting me, can you imagine). I called Spider and Bats and waited for them to arrive. The two Asian women watched over me from inside the building all the while.
In the state I was in, I knew I’d burst into tears the minute I made eye contact with them, never mind talked to them, so I kept them in my peripheral vision. Seeing their worry for me made holding back the tears more difficult. There’s no larger story here, other than I haven’t blogged here in a minute, and that there are people who watch over you sometimes, despite everything, and that I wasn’t that alone there, in the end.
Not to state the obvious, but hypno cons are intense. You spend 50+ hours in a little bubble with dear friends old and new, surrounded by humans and socially on; you’re doing all sorts of intimate and intense stuff, baring deep and vulnerable parts of your sexuality, and likely having your brain turned to mush. As if that weren’t enough, your body is also probably a mess from not sleeping enough, eating weirdly and not drinking enough water, etc. etc. When all your dopamine receptors have been in overdrive and that dopamine is suddenly gone, the exhaustion catches up with you, the sads hit, and brains get weird (and not in the fun way).
This phenomenon is known as “Con Drop.” Every action has an equal and opposite reaction: when you’ve been riding the highs of con for days, there has to be a drop before you can make it back to equilibrium. I'm writing this in the wake of Charmed 2026 just in case it’s helpful to anyone else: take 'em or leave 'em, but here are some thoughts on Con Drop and ways to combat it.
Feel your feelings
Be as sad as you need to. Ignoring or bottling your feelings doesn’t help. So go ahead, have a cry, take a day or three to mope, do what you feel called to do.
There will be more events, and they will be wonderful in different ways
Yes, it’s a bummer to return to real life, but remember: there will be other events.. Was this one wonderful in a very specific way that it will be impossible to replicate? Probably—but that will be true of all the future events too, and each event is generally wonderful in a surprising new way.
Plan a gentle re-entry, if you can
If possible, take a day or two after con as a buffer before returning to real life and day job. Sleep extra, take a long walk, get yourself a treat, journal about your experiences… Whatever the specifics, it can be useful to have a demarcation between your special fun con time and the bustle of daily life. (For instance, I’m posting this a little later than intended because before I could write this up, I had to sleep for 12 hours and treat myself to a bagel.)
Even if you can’t plan a whole day of buffer, think about how you can make your life easier the first few days post-con—maybe block off your work calendar so you don’t have a bunch of meetings your first day back, or plan a light social week so you don’t have a ton of obligations.
And of course, if you have an abrupt re-entry or a sharp change of plans, expect the drop to be a little worse! That might sound scary, but I personally like having an explanation for what seems like untraceable cruddy feelings. If that’s your situation, give yourself extra grace, and lean into the ways you can soften things for yourself.
Let go of your regrets, remember the good bits
No con is perfect, and there are always lows mixed in with the highs; the person you didn’t connect with, the scene that went sideways, the social interaction that was weirdly unsatisfying, etc. When your brain is already in a bad place from drop, you might find yourself dwelling on the things that were unideal or that you wish had gone differently.
This can manifest as sadness, regret, guilt, feeling like people don’t like you, or a whole host of other negative emotions. While those are all valid emotions, remember that they’re being magnified by your drop brain, and probably feel bigger and more present than they deserve to be. Give yourself some grace, and remember that the bad parts of con are inevitable—in fact, they’re necessary to have all the good parts. When drop takes you to that pessimistic place, make sure you’re reflecting on the positive bits of con as well: journal about them, talk to friends and reminisce about all the fun stuff you did, and just generally make sure you’re saving space in your brain for the positive reflections!
Your daily life is probably pretty good, actually
When I come back from a really good con, my daily life feels pale by comparison. I think, “ugh, how does any of this compare to Weird Kinky Nirvana, and do I actually care about any of this??” But I do my best to remember that Past SOL actually felt pretty good about things here at home, and that until I can think clearly again, I just have to trust that she knew what she was talking about.
Take all the time you need to mope, to rest, to be sad, but remember that your everyday is probably pretty good; if it seems dull right now, it’s just because you had a brief and wonderful burst of REAL FREAKIN’ GOOD.
And honestly, part of what makes con so special is that they’re removed from our daily lives. If you just lived at con, it would lose its luster and specialness; the gulf between con and your daily life probably seems vast, but that’s part of what makes the experience so magical. Also, the reason real life might seem extra blah for a second is that…
You might have blown out your dopamine receptors, whoops (i.e. Slow Things Down)
When I’m deep in con drop, I can feel restless and want to be occupied every second, but simultaneously not excited about any of my usual leisure activities. In my completely unscientific opinion, that damn much stimulation and emotional high can temporarily fry your brain. For me, it makes sitting still feel uncomfortable but simultaneously makes normally-stimulating activities feel not-stimulating-enough.
Annoyingly, the solution (at least for me) is usually to s l o w d o w n. I like to turn off my phone for a few hours and go to the park with a book or a journal, maybe treat myself to a solo meal out (crucially, without any of my devices on me). To wind down, where I might normally play a flashy video game, I might instead opt for a crossword puzzle, or doing a craft while watching a cozy cooking show. (I plan to watch a LOT of Chopped this week, and am going to put off playing Hades 2 for a little while longer so I don’t re-fry my brain with dopamine.)
If you feel like you’re vibrating all the time and don’t want to be alone with your thoughts… well, sometimes the solution is to be alone with your thoughts anyway. Sit around. Loaf on the couch and stare at the ceiling. Let your thoughts and feelings happen. It might feel unpleasant at first, but this sort of slowing down can help your body and brain reset.
Take care of your body, even when it’s annoying
You were probably kind of a jerk to your body at con, so be extra nice to it now. Sleep enough, hydrate, stretch or exercise, go outside and see the sun, eat enough food (and probably a vegetable or two).
Also, give yourself a little treat, you deserve it! Spring for a massage or take a luxurious bath or take a trip to your favorite bakery. You’re tender and recovering, so be soft with yourself.
Con drop scrambles your whole brain
Don’t be surprised if you’re randomly sad or weepy, are unfocused at work, or are reacting strongly or emotionally to things that seem to have nothing to do with con. This sort of drop scrambles your whole brain a little bit; this is normal and expected, and it will pass. Give yourself grace and space, and try to take it easy this week. Also, crucially, try not to make big decisions right after con (e.g. break-ups, quitting your job, registering for your next event)—come back to this stuff in a week or two once your system has settled.
I know that when I’m in con drop, my anxiety often spikes over totally unrelated (and often existential) things, and all of my problems suddenly seem really urgent and scary. I do my best to remind myself that the urgency and the fear are at least in part the result of my brain-scramble; I try to be kind to myself and honor those feelings, but mostly to put them on a shelf and say “hey, we can look at these again in a week.” If everything still feels catastrophic when I return to those feelings later, then they probably warrant action, but 9 times out of 10, when my brain has returned to baseline post-con, those anxieties and fears subside back down to something way more manageable.
Reach out to your community
This is hard to balance with some of the couch-flop/hiding-in-a-hole that is necessary after a whole weekend of non-stop social, but: remember to reach out to your community. Talk to your old and new friends from con about the good bits and the bad bits, check in on how they’re doing, ask them for a pep talk or commiserate about your drop together. And sure, flirt outrageously with your new con crush! (Just uh, don’t make any big plans or life changes until you’re well and truly out of the post-con brain fog.)
You can also talk to other kink friends who weren’t at that specific con, or even friends who aren’t affiliated with the kink world at all! (Y’know, if you have those.) Reconnecting with people at home who weren’t at con can be grounding and remind you of what you like about your everyday life.
Figure out what works for you, and remind yourself
Everyone’s solutions to con drop will be different, and over time, you’ll develop your own individual playbook of the things that work best for you. However, some non-trivial portion of us will have a hard time recalling that very logical Con Drop Playbook when in the thick of the drop (why else do you think I’m writing this post?). Consider jotting down some things that help you through drop, and keeping them as a reminder for the next time you’re directly post-event, losing your damn mind and unable to conceive of a single thing to do about it. Honestly, even a scheduled reminder for a few days after con ends that says “hey, wondering why everything sucks? It’s Con Drop, drink some water” can be a godsend!
It might last longer than you think
Every drop is different, and everyone’s brains work through it differently. You might feel totally fine after a good night’s sleep post-event, or you might feel like trash for a whole week while your system re-calibrates. Be gentle to yourself the whole darn time.
Crucially, as you get further from the event, it’s easy to forget that you might still be in drop; try to keep in mind that even half a week later, if you’re feeling sad for “no reason”, there might actually be an extremely logical reason! I find that knowing where my miscellaneous cruddy feelings are coming from helps a lot to remind me that I’m not just losing my mind and that it will get better. And speaking of how it will get better:
This too shall pass
This is the biggest thing I try to remember when I’m deep in the drop: this too shall pass. I know it intellectually—how many times have I been through this exact emotional rollercoaster??—but in the moment, in the quagmire of my own feelings and with my critical thinking faculties shot, it’s hard to trust. Often, when I’m deep in bad feelings, I can’t conceive of feeling any differently than I currently do.
But I know that I’ll get through it, and hey, I promise that you will too. Bodies rest and heal, and emotions level out and return to baseline; it’s what they do, when you let them. You can help the process along with the tips above, by taking care of your body and being gentle with your emotions and reaching out to your community for support; but even without your help, it’ll happen. Look back on your past experiences, or ask a friend to remind you when you don’t believe yourself, or just believe me: this feeling will pass, and you’ll be back to your emotional baseline in time!
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Take or leave all of this advice, and do what’s best for you: more than anything, I’m wishing everyone a speedy con recovery, however you get yourself there. Thanks for a bonkers sexy wonderful weekend, Charmed 2026!
Consider: the hypnotist physically holding you down to whisper the induction into your ear while it gets harder and harder to thrash and struggle and eventually you're forced to accept that you are both physically and mentally weaker than them, right before you go limp and stop thinking much of anything at all
(grabs you by the shoulders) you have to make room for new experiences in your life. you have to go through the unpleasant work of leaving your comfort zone, even if just for a few minutes at a time. because if you don't, your brain will trick you into stagnation. you will start to believe that the world can barely fit you in it. but that's not true. it's the opposite way around. you can fit the whole word inside of you. your task is only this: to welcome it with open arms
