no because you're so correct about tfa Optimus being a virgin is yummy.
Like of all the Optimi, yeah, he is the most virgin, and he's not particularly embarrassed about unless he's with a partner because he doesn't want to underperform for them.
I think that all of the Optimi have some *air* of virginity about them, even if they aren't actually virgins. Some of the Optimi fuck like rabbits, some are more selective.
Tfa Optimus is 100% virgin, he's never had a spike in his valve or a valve around his spike. Before getting to Earth, he'd never considered taking anyone to bed as he was focused on being a good little prime, or as good as he could be. But after, he never considered taking a cybertronian partner because his options were limited and he really didn't wanna bang his teammates or cash in his v-card to them. He's also their boss and Optimus has some morals. But there's humans everywhere. Increasingly curious organic creatures that, as he's learned, have sexual needs that they may fulfill. And when Optimus does get a human partner, interfacing/sex really is the last thing in his mind because, while yes he's thought about it, but how would it work? He's much too big for any human partner, maybe too big mass displaced as well.
And I have literally sooo many tangents I wanna go off on, but instead I will rank the Optimi based on how virgin they are.
Virgin: tfa and g1
Not a virgin, but currently gets no action: Bay, Armada
Virgin, but masturbates vigorously: tfp, tfONE
Not a virgin, and currently gets action: earthspark
Anyways feel free to disagree w me because I play with the Optimi like they're my dolls, I'm making them scissor as we speak.
nghhhh yes - TFA Optimus being the first to find out how humans reproduce has... done things to him. And he'll never ever be normal about it once he gets a bit too cozy with a human
I am fascinated by how you've classified the Optimi - this is beautiful. I'm kinda dying at the image of virgin TFP masturbating vigorously during the tiniest 5 minute breaks he has in between leading his team, protecting humanity and fucking up the decepticons. He's just going at it
TFone is also kinda funny, but he makes complete sense. I'm a bit more hesitant about G1 though bc he was canonically with Ariel as Orion... but eh, maybe they were queerplatonic. I agree with the rest tho
tf armada final eps where instead of megatron ruling the universe in the dream zone that unicron puts him in he's thinking about getting married to optimus. so when the kids land in his dream they're literally five feet away from the altar where these two old mechs are reciting the mushiest vows that have ever been put to paper. it's the most wholesomely vulnerable thing that any twelve-year-old will ever see and maybe carlos even says so out loud. alexis is about to shush him but is in turn shushed by starscream's spirit ("he's right." starscream says solemnly, while making a pointed effort not to look at the mess that is megatron's ugly sobbing. "this is super embarrassing"). when the kids get back everything is awkward because the kids know that megatron knows that they now know about his innermost desire and megatron clears his throat nonchalantly and goes "you know what. an early retirement sounds reasonable after all this nonsense we've been dealing with recently" and optimus, who is entirely out of the loop, goes "wait wha--" and before carlos can once again act as spokesperson for everyone's thoughts on the wedding ceremony they just witnessed, megatron shoots him a "go ahead and speak. i will literally destroy all life in this universe if you do" type of look that gets the kid to instead bite his lip and stifle the snort that is threatening to let all hell loose. the war ends, cybertron and earth are saved, and megatron (predictable as always) never admits his feelings to optimus, ever.
"Good morning, Optimus..!" That was the first thing Optimus could hear as Jetfire walked into his quarters one moment.. and he was carrying something in his servos.
"..or should I say, my very own Primeshine~" Jetfire teased as he reveals he's holding.. a tray. A tray with one normal Energon cube, one Energon treat, and a pack of rust sticks.
"They're all for you, a big surprise within is included as well. After you're done with them, we could stay here in your berth for a bit, just us two, be, kiss around and cuddle with no distractions?" Jetfire confirmed with a nod, then suggested right afterwards.
"Oh. Jetfire! Good morning!"
Seeing his beloved second-in-command right after waking up already made the Autobot leader happy. When Jetfire teased him with the nickname, Optimus couldn't help but chuckle. He's always so creative, and Optimus likes that about him.
He looks at the tray and becomes even happier. What a sweet gesture!
"You made this for me? Thank you so much!" Oh, he needs to return the favor somehow!
He carefully picks up the tray and intakes the energon treat first. And when Jetfire made the suggestion, Prime couldn't ignore it! It would be perfect to stay in berth with him for a moment!
"Sure, of course! I'd love to!"
As soon as he finished his "breakfast," he kissed Jetfire and lay down on the berth, opening his arms and inviting Jetfire to come closer.
"Come here then, my love. Let us cuddle and kiss."
Transformers Armada, now more than ever, has become one of my favorite Transformers shows! I'm still reading the comics, and I've also been really enjoying them! I commissioned these lovely arts with my friend atomicdarc (thanks again for taking my requests! I love your work! ❤️)
CloudStrike lounged on his berth, fussing with a glitchy datapad with more then a few scratches on its surface. He grumbled, resigning to get a new one before he threw the poor thing at the nearest wall. Servos were readjusted as he began to type..
Optimus Prime, the glorified leader of the Autobot Resistance; How to even begin? In all of my deaths I have never met someone so annoyingly optimistic yet frustratingly stubborn. It astounds me that this one mech, who has seen the front lines for vorns upon vorns; still has quippy comebacks AND hobbies. It's ridiculous, how does he appear so unaffected?
In all of my existence I've found things to be mundane, unoriginal. Most every mech I've met seemed to be easily placed into any one category. Then there were the outliers..
First there was Megatron, which I will touch upon later, and then there was the truck with a clashing paint job and the matrix. I didn't always want to participate in this meaningless war, but in the end boredom dug it's rusty claws into my helm. Megatron, with all his atrocities, just seemed the most.. entertaining. Reminded me that I still functioned. But Optimus.. he makes me so.
Slagging.
Angry.
He reminds me of what I could have been. Should have been. Still could be.
Hopeful in the meaningless of it all. Caring about mechs I'll outlast. Just for the sake of them being... well. Alive.
CloudStrike tossed the datapad aside, hearing it scrape gently as it tumbled onto the floor. Now was not the time to be sentimental. He had things to do.
The self indulgent tf armada AU where everyone lives in Rome, the Daje AU (part 1)
(Translations under the cut)
🟥🟨🟥🟨🟥🟨🟥🟨🟥
Optimus Prime (25 yo)
-Follows the literature course in Sapienza (the BIGgest uni in Rome)
-Popular among this peers for his "Boy Next Door" charm, his idealism, and the lecture notes which offers for free (most of the time students sell their notes), and his good looks
-"Education is the right of all sentient beings"
-Politically engaged, organize protests and events for the faculty
-Despite this, he is extremely shy
-Has a backpack with an embarassing amount of pockets and useful things
-He did judo, but stopped at blue belt
-He's a tutor to high school students for classical subjects
-Few know this, but he attended the ITIS in Tor Sapienza (a zone in east Rome, unrelated to the university) with Megatron, when they often fought (people in ITIS fight a lot)
-Now he moved to Tufello (a chill zone in north Rome)
Red Alert (24 yo)
-He follows and does medicine at Policlinico (famed hospital and also were Sapienza's medicine courses are)
-Childhood friend of Optimus and Jetfire
-No one ever saw him sleep (medicine students have the most insane schedules, even if the degree course lasts 7 years)
-He doesn't accept less than 27/30 (exam votes)
-Miraculously on time with the exams schedule
-"Imagine how cool it must be living near Uni" (he took an apartment, dormitories aren't really a thing here)
-Since he lives near, they always assign him night shifts
-Consuming inhuman amounts of coffee has made him nearly immune to caffeine, so he purposely invented a more powerful distillate to stay awake
-Sometimes he tells about his special internship at Tivoli's hospital, he remembers it like a Vietnam flashback
-Always pissed off 24/7, but under all of that he cares a lot about his friends
-During the exam period, he smokes like a chimney ("I'll stop when I get that degree")
Jetfire (24 yo) (I think I'm in love with this drawing)
-He follows the philosophy course in Sapienza (literature's same faculty, the name is literally called "literature and philosophy")
-Optimus' best friend since forever
-He lives in Tufello since he was born
-Part of the Young Communist Front and the Congregation of Stoners at Uni
-Once he starts talking about the fight against capitalism, no one can stop him
-He always has a few grams of weed hidden somewere, (where the police will never find it)
-Every situation is a good situation to start stadium choirs (stadium choirs don't always have to do with football)
-On campus he dresses colorfully, but he has a battle outfit specific for protests (he's the one who brings fumogens)
-He's always seen on the Pratone (big ass lawn at the campus were students rest) smoking weed or playing SOAD on his acoustic guitar, nobody knows if he actually goes to class.
-Was an AS Roma die-hard fan before the Captain Totti left, now he pretends he doesn't care about the team (holding back tears)
-He attended the Liceo Artistico at Ripetta (art high school in the center), he wanted to do the painter, however the fact that in Italy this work sector it is not taken seriously or protected at all in which you can't do what you want or studied for a living or else you'll end up under a bridge, the other option it's taking orders from a company to make deceptive graphics, was enough to radicalize him.
-He had an accident with his scooter, breaking both his left leg and the muretto* of his house (for some obscure reason the scooter remained intact and I cant find an english word for *low walls we use with fences)
Smokescreen (26 yo)
-He follows engineering in Roma 3 (another big university in Rome but they forgot to change from the default name)
-Always doing internships at construction sites, "It's to gain experience" he says
-He lives in Rione Testaccio, here he spends Saturday evenings in the movida with his friends or the other workers
-"What are those idiots doing? The next rains will destroy everything" (looking at workers trying to fix something the wrong way)
-He did the professional high school, probably the only one in class that was committed to learning
-Gymbro with a almost infinite set of skills as mason, mechanic, and nutritionist
-"How much do you bench press?"
-Despite his rough appearance, he's a cinnamon roll ready for everything for his friends, expressing it in small jobs in his field, personalized training plans and telling them they should have a healthier lifestyle over every single problem they have (especially Red Alert and Jetfire)
-When Jetfire crashed with his scooter, he fixed his muretto, in exchange Jet would quit smoking for at least 6 months (he didn't succeed)
-His daily routine: 5:30 wake up; 6:00 breakfast with an apple and cappuccino; 6:30 jogging around Mount Testaccio; 7:07 bus up to the construction site; 7:45 coffee with the other workers; 8:00 to 12:00 internship work; 12:15 square pizza for lunch from Pinuccio; 13:00-16:00 course lessons at San Paolo; 18:30 gym; 20:00 dinner with 200g of pasta and rotisserie chicken; 21:00 herbal tea and then sleep.
-Bonus: he doesn't have a car, he always prefers public transport, it's "less stressful" (if course, he lives in the center)
