#aroselane

[aroselane]

'Beside You' New Cover

I was torn between color or not.

So here they are <3

I hope you like them!!!

[aroselane]

The Devil in Me Ch. 26

Chapter Twenty-Six: 

Noah:

My eyes remained steady on Raisa.

She stood there staring back at me, a bit of confusion mixed with her trying to appear seductive.

Did she forget that I hated her?

To pick this girl over my mate?

This was clearly a fucking joke.

“So?” I asked.

“I shouldn’t have to spell it out for you,” she said, “We’re both consenting adults.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You really think I’ll give in to that bullshit?”

She looked irritated.

“I told you from day one I didn’t want to fuck you,” I stated, “Why do you always show up in front of me when I’m at my weakest?”

“I have eyes,” she stated, “And I have ears.”

“Just because you have a hole doesn’t mean I’m going to fuck you anymore,” I hissed.

What was the matter with me?

I was angry, and I was hurt.

Raisa was going to get all of it.

She just stared at me.

It didn’t look like my words phased her.

“You say that now,” she shrugged.

“I’ll keep saying it,” I stated.

A grin dominated her once stoic face.

“Like I said,” she said, “You aren’t the first pent-up Devil in the program.”

Do others really seek comfort outside of their mate once they find them?

That sounded ridiculous to me.

Then again, I probably wouldn’t have put much thought into it either way before.

The pull towards Shay was too strong.

Even the thought of touching someone else made me sick.

“Are you finished?” I asked her.

“I don’t have to be,” she said.

“Get out,” I said flatly.

“Don’t be such a girl,” Raisa spat, “Suddenly you find your mate, and now you’re too good for me?”

“No,” I said.

I didn’t even have to think about it.

“She is better than you,” I stated, “She is better than me.”

She made a disgusted face.

“She deserves better than me,” I stated, “I’m going to make sure that one day I do deserve her.”

Raisa just stood there shaking her head slightly.

“She is human,” she stated, “How many Devils have you heard of actually stayed with their mate?”

I opened my mouth to answer, but I didn’t know.

How many Devils were with their mate after the program?

Eileen was one of the few I knew about that was mated to a human.

They were probably only still together because of who he is.

Brian is Dr. Olsen’s son.

Oh god.

I felt the trembling in my legs as the thought crossed my mind.

What if Shay and I were only meant to be together for a short while?

What if I was only able to be with her to produce a child?

“Now do you understand?” Raisa asked.

I didn’t even have the chance to respond.

My hand was around her throat.

“Oh baby,” Raisa moaned, “You know I like it rough.”

Her words made me nauseous.

“You don’t know what will happen,” I said, “A Devil and a human could be together.”

The way she stared at me told me she doubted that.

“Let’s say you were right,” she said.

My hand slipped from her neck.

“You have these strong animalistic urges to take her,” she said, “How long can her human body handle you?”

I found myself laughing, “Is that all?”

I would ache, but I wouldn’t take her like that. I didn’t doubt that.

We would have time to figure out a safe way to be together.

“And if you do have kids?” she asked.

“Since when is having children together a bad thing?” I asked.

She sighed, “How fucking stupid are you?”

I was honestly confused.

“Do you not remember how you grew up?” Raisa hissed, “We were all raised like orphans.”

“We had our parents,” I stated.

“No,” Raisa shook her head, “We had one, our Devil parent, or our Alpha parent.”

I wanted to argue with her, but I couldn’t.

I never met my father.

Hell, I don’t even know his name.

“Do you really think they would let her stick around to raise a Devil child?” she asked, “She would have to give up her rights as their mother.”

“What the fuck are you even talking about?”

“All the shit they do to us,” she said, “Do you think they ask permission?”

It hit me hard.

She was right.

They have to have Shay sign all these different papers to protect her rights. I’ve never had to sign anything.

My child would be the same.

If Shay were there, she wouldn’t allow it. They would need to ask permission before they hurt our child.

Our child.

My chest actually hurt at the thought.

I wanted that with her.

I wanted a family.

Fuck.

“You’re a lot dumber than you look,” Raisa stated, “You’ve been here this long, and you didn’t even know that?”

I didn’t want to know.

Part of me didn’t think I’d ever find my mate.

It was never something I had to think about.

Eileen and her children would be taken care of. I wasn’t worried about that.

I didn’t think I would ever have kids of my own, not after what happened before.

Raisa stood there, shaking her head.

“You doe-eyed idiot,” she said, “I thought you were different.”

I glared at her.

“I never claimed to be,” I stated.

“You hated everything about this place,” she said, “I thought it would be you and me at the end of all of this bullshit.”

“Are you joking?” I asked, “Even if I hated this place and wanted out, why the fuck would I ever choose you?”

“You’ve chosen me before,” she stated.

Obviously, but I didn’t have very many options.

“You don’t have to worry about that happening again,” I stated.

“And when your mate leaves you?” she asked.

I actually had to pause to think about it.

My mouth opened, but nothing came out.

She just stared back at me.

I felt like I knew the answer, but it felt wrong.

“What?” she asked, “Don’t you know?”

My eyes met hers, and I held her gaze.

“Noah?” she asked.

Her expression changed, and she looked a little worried.

It felt like the only answer.

I don’t know how Baird does it.

His mate died. How?

When? How long ago?

The idea of being away from Shay is painful.

Not just painful physically, but mentally as well.

“I’d die,” I said flatly.

 Shay:

Damn it.

I tried my best to get some sleep, but I couldn’t.

My body hurt from how exhausted it was. I ran home, and I even ended up going for another run when I couldn’t settle these feelings down.

I wanted to be so exhausted to the point I couldn’t think.

So much for that.

My body hurt too much to move, and all I could do was think about pointless shit.

I felt guilty about how I left things.

The feelings I had felt almost irrational.

How can I feel like I love another person I don’t even know?

I just met this boy a little over a month ago.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

I wanted to run back to the facility and beg him to hold me.

Things should be easier if we distanced ourselves a little.

I think we only feel this way because of how quickly we’ve been moving.

Of course this attraction was real, and fucking hell, it is strong.

I couldn’t explain how strong the pull to Noah was.

Just thinking about him made me want to be near him, touching him.

I was perfectly content with just having his hand in mine.

The skin contact was nice. It felt reassuring.

I frowned.

More than anything, I hoped that he was alright.

Baird would have called me if something changed, right?

I nodded fiercely.

He promised he would.

Baird does not lie. Noah told me that himself.

I glanced over at my phone on the nightstand.

It was charging, and I hoped that I didn’t miss anything important.

No notification popped up. So, I think I am in the clear.

My phone buzzed, and it felt strange.

It was like all my focus on the device made it ring.

I grabbed it so that I could turn it to its side so I could see the screen.

I had a text message from Jody.

From: Jody – ‘Hey, is everything okay?’

My eyes lingered on the words while I thought about it.

“No,” I mumbled out loud.

Part of me wanted to call her and tell her about everything.

Only part of me, though.

I felt like this was too much right now to involve another person.

Jody gives excellent advice, there is no doubt about that.

There are already too many emotions flying around, and there are only two of us. Adding a third or a fourth would only complicate things.

I would make sure to talk to her about it once I figured something out.

To: Jody – ‘All good babe, thank you.’

She responded faster than I expected her to.

From: Jody – ‘Did you make it home alright?’

To: Jody – ‘I’m home right now yeah. How was your meeting with Delaney?’

I had to change the subject before she started asking more questions about Noah.

I wasn’t even really sure what to say about it.

My phone went off.

From: Jody – ‘It went good. Too good actually.’

Huh?

To: Jody – ‘Too good? What the hell? Explain yourself woman.’

I wasn’t even there and I could feel her hesitation.

From: Jody – ‘I want more, and I’m scared.’

I didn’t like that I knew exactly how she felt.

I didn’t want to have this conversation through unspoken words.

To: Jody – ‘Can you come over?’

From: Jody – ‘Can I? I didn’t want to ask after what happened today.’

She was worried about that?

To: Jody – ‘Get your ass over here.’

From: Jody – ‘I’ll be there in ten.’

I smiled to myself.

At least we weren’t alone in all of this.

I know I yelled at Noah about not being able to talk to anyone about him, but it was mostly true.

If Andre asks me where I am, what the fuck am I supposed to say?

What about these fucking feelings?

How am I just supposed to tell him that I’m in love with a boy he’s never met? A man he’s never even heard the name of.

A boy I barely knew myself.

I was only getting myself more upset.

Valentine.

Noah’s last name.

I assume Eileen’s last name too.

Was it the last name of their mother or their father?

Were they even the product of the same parents?

I had too many questions. They weren’t even important.

A light knock pulled me out of my thoughts.

Jody opened the door and smiled lightly at me.

Holy shit, has it really been that long already?

I glanced at my phone to see the time.

11:46 PM.

Her last text was sent nearly twenty minutes ago.

“Are you alright?” she asked.

I nodded as I sat up.

“You sure?” she asked, “You don’t look so good.”

I just smiled lightly, “Damn, rude.”

She laughed, “After a day like yours, I’m surprised you look as good as you do.”

A day like mine? How much does she know?

“Jody?” I asked.

She took off her jacket before she met my gaze, “What’s up?”

I watched her kick off her shoes before sitting next to me on the bed.

“How well do you know Delaney?” I asked.

She made a face while she thought about it.

“Well, I know more than I would in a normal relationship by this time,” she stated, “But I’d like to think I know him enough.”

“Do you know his last name?” I asked.

She smiled, “Delaney Ford.”

I nodded.

“Did you not know Noah’s last name?” she asked.

I hesitated before nodding.

“Didn’t you get that out of the way at the beginning?”

I shook my head, “We technically met before, so our introduction wasn’t what it was supposed to be.”

She made a face, “You’re right. I already forget about that.”

I honestly didn’t know what to do.

This whole thing really is a lot.

“What is it?” Jody asked.

Part of me really wanted to tell her, and the other part wanted some more time to think.

My eyes just locked with hers. No words would come out.

“Honey,” Jody said, “Tell me.”

Where would I even begin?

There were already so many things that happened.

I took in a deep breath.

She sat there patiently, waiting for me to find the right words.

Then the words left me before I even realized what they were

“The seizures are because of me.”

She stared back at me, and her disbelief showed on her face.

“How?” she asked, “Says who?”

“The doctor,” I stated.

“How is it your fault?” she asked.

I could hear the anger in her voice.

“Nobody is saying that I am causing them,” I was quick to correct, “He can’t sleep, and Dr. Booth said that being apart too long is causing seizures.”

She frowned, “Is it fucked up to think that’s a little sweet?”

I shook my head, “It doesn’t feel too sweet.”

“Maybe this is a sign,” she said, “The special mate program.”

I frowned at her words.

“I know it feels scary,” she said, “But we won’t be in it alone.”

I nodded slowly.

“I can’t even imagine the kind of stuff they’ve had to go through before all this,” she said.

Was it wrong that I never once put much thought into what went on there before?

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I just mean,” she hesitated, “Delaney told me some stuff, and I don’t know how to feel about it.”

“What kind of stuff?”

She bit her lip, “He told me more about Dr. Gardiner, and then a bit about what his childhood was like there.”

I felt a pang of jealousy.

She might actually know way more about her mate than I do about mine.

“Dr. Gardiner was a monster,” she said, “I don’t know what happened to him or what made them finally replace him, but good riddance.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

Of course I knew that Baird recently found out about Gardiner. Other than that, I don’t know much.

“Well,” Jody frowned, “Delaney told me that Dr. Gardiner tried to rape his sister.”

My body shook at her words.

Isn’t Delaney’s sister a Devil?

If he’d try that with someone that can most definitely hurt him, I could only imagine what could have happened if I had met with him.

“What?” I gasped, “How long ago?”

“He said it was a few years ago,” she said, “But they were told by someone else there that it didn’t matter. They don’t even have the same freedoms that we do.”

That pissed me off.

Is that why he was gone now? Was it because he sounded like he wanted to meet with me?

That wouldn’t be enough to replace an actual doctor, would it?

“How did you know about Dr. Gardiner?” she asked, “Did Noah tell you about him?”

I guess I just needed to spit it out then.

“I spoke with him shortly,” I admitted.

“What the fuck?” she gasped, “When? He didn’t try to do anything to you, did he?”

“About a week ago,” I said, “Baird called me and asked me to come in.”

“To see Dr. Gardiner?” she asked.

I shook my head.

“Noah hadn’t slept in a while,” I said, “Baird thought I might be able to help him.”

She glared at me, “Why am I only hearing about this now?”

“I know, and I’m sorry,” I said, “I just wasn’t sure what to say.”

“I’ll give you shit for it later,” she said, “Keep going.”

“Well,” I said, “I was in Noah’s room, and…”

“Wait just one damn minute,” she interrupted me, “You were alone in a room with

Noah?”

I hesitated before nodding.

She frowned, “I guess I get why you didn’t say anything.”

“I’m sorry.”

I really did feel bad. Not only for keeping it from her.

“Man,” she pouted, “I’m jealous.”

If only she knew everything that happened.

“While I was there trying to help him sleep,” I said, “Dr. Gardiner turned on the camera in the room and started to talk to me.”

She held up a hand, “I have so many questions.”

I nodded.

“Help him sleep how?” she asked.

“This might sound a little strange,” I said, “But for some reason when I touch him, it calms him down.”

“Touch him?” she asked.

I reached for her hand to hold it, “Skin contact, it’s weird that it actually works.”

“Okay,” she said, “Interesting development.”

“Shut up,” I said.

She grinned.

“What did Dr. Gardiner say?” she asked.

“He mentioned something about me not having a physical in a while.” I stated, “And that I should meet with him.”

She made a disgusted face, “Then what?”

“I told Baird,” I said, “And then Noah told Baird to look into Gardiner.”

“When did you say this happened?” she asked.

“About a week ago.”

She looked like she was thinking about something.

“Baird must have found something,” she said, “But did it seem like he knew before?”

I shook my head, “When Noah told him, it sounded like Baird didn’t know what was going on.”

“Well, thank God either way,” she said, “Baird must have gotten him booted.”

I nodded.

“You said there was a camera in his room?” she asked.

I nodded.

She sighed, “That must be hard.”

I nodded again.

Not only having zero privacy but also having your vitals monitored.

Was anyone even able to have a secret to themselves?

“Was he able to get some sleep?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I said, “But not much.”

“Oh?” she asked, “Was there more?”

I had to look away from her.

“Shay, Shay, Shay,” she said, “What on earth did you do?”

I didn’t know what to say.

“I get it,” she said after a minute, “Some things should be kept to yourself.”

“It isn’t like that,” I said.

“You can tell me when you’re ready,” she said.

I didn’t deserve her.

“Jody,” I said.

“What’s up?” she said.

“I know it is too soon to say anything,” I admitted, “But I can’t help it.”

She didn’t say anything. She only waited.

“I think I love him,” I said.

 Noah:

I stared at the white ceiling.

The only thing I could hear was the beeping of machines and the occasional pump of medication.

They had to special order medication to stop my seizures.

I was surprised that it was even working.

It made me wonder why they dragged Shay down here in the first place if they could just stick me with an IV, and they would go away.

Why was it even bothering me? It gave me a reason to see Shay.

My chest hurt when I thought about her.

A light knock on the door pulled my thoughts away before I spiraled.

Baird cleared his throat once he was inside the small room.

I sat up to look at him.

“You do not have to get up on my account,” he said, “You need rest.”

The seizures may have stopped, but the sleep still has yet to come.

I just sat there looking at him.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

I only shook my head.

“Dr. Booth informed me about what happened yesterday with Shay,” he said, “Would you like to talk about it?”

I shook my head again.

There was a rare awkwardness in the air.

Baird didn’t usually feel it necessary to comfort me like this.

“Is there something that I can do?” Baird asked.

How the fuck should I know? I just wanted her here.

At the same time, I didn’t want to need her.

“Tell me about your mate,” I said, “If you don’t mind talking about him.”

Baird made a pained face.

“Was it that hard?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said.

“Was he human?” I asked.

Baird moved to sit on the tan armchair in the corner.

“No, he was not human,” he said, “He was Classification F.”

I felt a sting behind my eyes.

It was for Baird, no doubt. I didn’t even know the details.

I also didn’t have to.

F Classification was a hard one to deal with.

“How long ago?” I asked.

Baird looked to the side as if in thought.

“It was my first placement,” he said, “I was seventeen.”

Oh fuck.

So then they must have had some time together. It was weird that I found some comfort in that idea.

“Did they have a program like we do now?” I asked.

Baird shook his head, “F Class was not considered an option for integration.”

That sounded harsh.

“Then you must have had a lot of time together,” I said.

I felt a little jealous. They must have been together all the time.

Baird smiled, but it looked sad.

“What?” I asked, “Was his change hard to be around?”

“Not every F Classification has a change like you do,” he said.

“Did he not have a significant change?” I asked.

Baird shook his head.

“Then why was he classified F?” I asked.

He opened his mouth but shut it.

“I’m sorry,” I said quickly, “I’m just curious. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”

“It is alright,” Baird said after a minute, “He was quite unique.”

I knew it was probably too much, but I was going to ask anyway.

“What was his name?”

“His name was Paul,” Baird said, “And he was classified F because of his inability to be touched.”

I felt myself frown.

Wait, he couldn’t be touched?

Does that mean that Baird never got to really touch his mate?

Sadness filled me at the thought.

Baird not only couldn’t touch his mate, but he lost him?

Wait, what happened if someone touched him?

“What happened?” I asked, “When he was touched?”

Baird met my eyes, and I could see it.

The grief.

“It’s okay,” I said quickly, “You don’t have to tell me.”

He nodded.

Baird shared more than he probably wanted to.

Was it because he was trying to help distract me from Shay?

“Tell me,” I said, “Tell me you at least had time with him?”

“Never enough,” he said.

“When did you…” I don’t think I could bring myself to ask.

“When did I lose him?” Baird supplied.

I nodded.

“Are you sure you want to know that?” he asked.

“I want you to know that it is okay to talk to me too,” I said, “If you want to talk about him, I will gladly listen.”

He nodded, “Thank you.”

Baird sat there for a few quiet minutes.

His phone went off, and he glanced at the message.

He didn’t reply, and he didn’t say anything.

“Is everything alright?” I asked.

“You know,” Baird said, “I find myself breaking the rules for you.”

I looked back at him questioningly.

“I see your connection to Shay, and I want the best for the two of you,” he said, “I want you both to have what we could not.”

I didn’t know what to say.

“She feels quite strongly for you,” he said, “Despite knowing you for a short time.”

“Was that a message from Shay?” I asked,

“Six months,” Baird said, “That was all we had.”

I sat there, feeling the stinging of my eyes again.

Baird sat there with a sad smile on his face.

“He died,” Baird stopped to clear his throat, “He died, because not being together was more painful than being touched.”

“Baird,” I heard it in my voice, it cracked, “I’m so sorry.”

“I want better for you,” he said, “I want better for those like us, like him.”

I wished better for him too, honestly.

“It was Shay,” he said, “And I am sorry to say it.”

I shook at his words.

Sorry? Sorry to say what?

“She asked about the special program again,” he admitted, “But I am determined to talk her out of it.”

“Why?” I asked, feeling out of breath.

I expected much worse.

He scared the fuck out of me.

I was scared that she wasn’t going to come back.

I was scared that she was going to leave me.

“I feel it is too soon,” he said, "And besides that, I have a plan.”

“What kind of a plan?” I asked.

“I am waiting to hear back from Dr. Olsen,” he said.

“About what?” I asked, “Are you going to keep us apart?”

He made a face, “After everything I just said? You think I would keep you away from your mate?”

“Well, no,” I said, “But that’s what I was afraid of.”

“Noah,” Baird said, “If all goes according to plan, we will have a place here for Shay.”

“What does that mean?” I asked.

What kind of a place?

He wasn’t talking about the breeder program, was he?

“Baird, I swear,” I growled before he had the chance to answer, “I won’t let her be a part of the breeder program.”

“If you gave me the chance to say it,” Baird stated, “If I would not let her join the special mate program, what makes you think I would push for the breeder program?”

“I’m terrified, Baird,” I gasped, “My rational mind goes out the window when it comes to her.”

“I sympathize with that, believe me,” he said, “But you need to realize that I was put in charge of this particular program for a reason.”

“Okay,” I said.

He did his best for us. I know that.

I just can’t think straight when it comes to her.

“I asked Dr. Olsen if we could hire Shay,” he stated, “Have her work with the volunteer program, as well as a few others.”

“So I could be near her more?” I asked.

He nodded, “But you will need to keep yourself in check.”

“In check, how?” I asked, “Does that mean I can’t talk to her while she’s here?”

“That is not what I meant,” he stated, “You will need to keep your hands to yourself.”

It feels like a small price to pay just to see her every day.

“Dr. Olsen said yes to this?” I asked.

“Not yet,” he said, “But given the situation, I believe he will seriously consider it.”

I frowned.

Olsen didn’t give two fucks about if we were happy or not.

He only cared about increasing the Alpha population.

“He will say no,” I stated.

“No, I do not believe he will.”

“I wish I had your optimism,” I stated.

“I made a pretty good case,” Baird stated, “I am almost sure that he will say yes.”

“How long do you think it will take for him to actually say it?” I asked.

Baird thought about it for a minute.

“Give him a day,” he said, “Two at the most.”

“Do I keep this from Shay?” I asked.

“For now,” he said, “If you can.”

I nodded.

It felt shitty to think about keeping anything from her.

“What if she doesn’t let you talk her out of signing for the mate program?” I asked.

“Then I will postpone giving her the paperwork,” he said, “I am good at getting on the nerves of others.”

He wasn’t wrong about that.

“What if I want her to sign them?” I asked.

He met my gaze.

“The time will come for that,” he said, “But first, you need to get better control over your change.”

I frowned.

“Would it not be better to lie with your mate without chains?” Baird asked.

“It might come out rude,” I said, “But do you not know how hard that will be?”

Baird frowned.

“Because I am an Echo?” he asked, “Do you think I do not feel that need?”

“Dr. Booth said that an Echo needs a mate,” I stated, “Or is that not how it works?”

“To be with another physically, yes,” he stated, “But that does not mean we do not experience the aching.”

“Can you not do it yourself?” I asked.

Baird made a face, “I suppose that depends.”

“Depends on what?”

“Do you really wish to know my masturbatory habits?” Baird asked.

“When you ask it like that, no.”

“Every Echo is different,” he stated, “I cannot speak for the others.”

“But can you?” I asked.

“Really?” he asked as if he didn’t want to tell me.

“I’m just curious,” I said.

“Sometimes,” he said, “And that is all that you are getting.”

I nodded.

I suppose sometimes is better than never.

We sat there quietly for a while before I spoke again.

“Does that mean that she is coming here?” I asked.

“No,” Baird stated, “I will tell her that we are trying to find a solution here before that can be an option.”

“So not a lie,” I said.

I felt better about that.

“So then what do we do now?” I asked.

“Hope that you can get some sleep,” he said, “Keep you on Fosphenytoin, and hope that the seizures stop completely even when the IV is removed.”

I nodded.

“But that is not what you meant.”

I shook my head.

“We wait to hear from Dr. Olsen.”

“What if it takes longer than two days?” I asked.

“Well,” Baird said, “Then as the saying goes, we will just have to cross that bridge when we get there.”

“I don’t think that’s how the saying goes.”

He shrugged, “We do what we can until we need to do something else.”

I guess they both worked.

“Until then,” Baird said, “Try to get some rest.”

I nodded.

He stood up and made his way to the door.

“Baird,” I said quickly.

He turned with a worried expression.

“Thank you,” I said, “For sharing that with me.”

I wasn’t expecting the grin that appeared on his face.

“Thank you for giving me the chance to remember him with another person.”

Baird walked out.

He really loved that man, didn’t he?

I can’t remember the last time I saw Baird smile like that.

I laid back on the crappy hospital bed.

My face eventually fell into a frown the more I thought about it.

Six months.

Baird only had six months with his mate, and he loved him that much? Even after all this time?

I know Baird wasn’t a young man anymore.

He died, because not being together was more painful than being touched.

Those words lingered in my mind.

What if I couldn’t touch Shay?

What if we couldn’t be together because of it?

I shook my head frantically before the thoughts tore through me.

It already hurt to think about it. I didn’t want to have to live it.

Poor Baird.

If anyone deserved someone, it is definitely him.

Even if it hasn’t been heard of, was it really ridiculous to think that an Echo might have more than one mate? They can live so fucking long.

I shut my eyes tightly.

I wanted that for him. I wanted him to find someone else.

I wanted someone to make him happy.

I wanted all of us to find happiness.

If only Raisa’s words didn’t linger in my mind.

[aroselane]

The Devil in Me Ch. 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

Shay:

Holy hell Baird was a lot stronger than he looked.

He pulled Noah over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

Baird led the way back to the medical center. I just followed silently.

Neither one of us spoke until Noah was planted firmly onto the bed.

My gaze remained on Noah.

“Shay,” Baird said, “You need to be careful.”

My eyes went to the ginger-haired man.

“There is a lot you do not know,” he said, “I know you feel the way that you do, but you need to be more cautious.”

I didn’t comment. I only nodded.

He was right, and I had no reason to argue with him.

His attention was entirely on me.

“Do you feel a pull towards Noah?” he asked.

I didn’t even need to think about it.

I nodded, “And if I do?”

“There is nothing wrong with feeling the pull,” Baird stated, “If anything, that is an extraordinary thing.”

It was a little awkward with just me and Baird.

I wasn’t used to a serious one on one with him.

“Shay,” Baird said, “Do you mind if I ask you a few more questions?”

I shook my head, “I don’t mind.”

“This is out of personal curiosity,” He said, “Not necessarily for the program.”

I mean, I don’t think it really mattered to me either way.

“Go ahead,” I said.

Baird moved around the room as if trying to think about his actual questions.

I sat at the foot of Noah’s bed and crossed my legs.

“Ask away,” I said.

“When you first met Noah,” he hesitated a little, “What did you feel?”

I made a face as I thought about it.

“If I really think about it,” I said, “I felt an instant attraction.”

“Could you elaborate more?” he asked.

I hummed as I thought about it.

“Maybe like there was this small spark,” I said, “I felt this strange need to stare.”

“Do not tell him you think he is pretty,” Baird stated, “He had a hard time when he was younger because of his appearance.”

I frowned, “I already called him beautiful.”

Baird smiled slightly, “That is a little different.”

I felt a bit bad anyway.

I gently pat Noah’s leg.

“He is beautiful,” I said, “But I didn’t think other children would be mean to him for it.”

“Growing up as a boy,” Baird said, “It can be hard when you are prettier than some of the girls.”

I nodded.

I felt that.

When I was growing up, I didn’t feel like a pretty girl.

I couldn’t imagine actually being pretty and then getting bullied for it.

“For my next question,” Baird said, “What are you prepared to do if you can not be too far from Noah?”

It wasn’t really like I had much of a choice.

“I don’t know,” I admitted, “I’d like to think I would do just about anything in my power to help him.”

He smiled this time, genuinely.

“That is an answer I like to hear.”

“Was that some kind of a test?” I asked.

“No,” Baird said, “This is me worrying about someone I helped raise.”

“Helped raise?” I asked, “Aren’t you guys around the same age?”

I saw something in his face change.

“Did I ask something I shouldn’t have?” I asked.

“It is alright,” he said, “I feel that you are trustworthy.”

I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

It wasn’t a bad feeling, but a strange one.

Did he not think he could trust me before?

“What do you mean by that?” I asked.

“I know that we have gone over Alpha Humans having different classifications,” Baird stated, “But we never covered them all.”

I nodded, “I figured that there would need to be a few if they went to D for Devil.”

“Has Noah told you anything about me?” he asked, “About my classification?”

I had to think about that, “No, I thought you were a Devil like the others.”

“I am not a Devil,” he said, “I am considered as classification E.”

Classification E?

“What does that mean?” I asked, “Or am I not allowed to know?”

“E is for Echo,” Baird stated, “But it is also nicknamed Eternal.”

“Eternal?” I asked, “So then you live a long time?”

“In a way, yes,” Baird stated, “But we have an ability that keeps us alive longer than the average human.”

“Do all Echoes have the same ability?” I asked.

“No,” he said, “Some have the ability to heal others, as well as themselves.”

“So then you heal?” I asked, “Like a doctor?”

I knew that it sounded stupid even as I said it.

“Well, it is different for everyone,” he said, “Some Echoes can heal minor injuries, while others can heal breaks and serious injuries.”

“Oh, wow,” I said, “You can heal other people?”

He frowned, “No, I am afraid that I can not heal others.”

“Then how are you an Echo?” I asked.

“My ability only works on myself,” he said, “And it has kept me alive for many years.”

“How many years?” I asked, “If you don’t mind me asking.”

He smiled lightly, “Take a guess.”

I stared pretty hard at Baird.

It was hard to guess.

“So, your body just heals itself all the time?” I asked, “Or does it only do it when something happens?”

His face changed slightly. I almost didn’t catch it.

“It heals most of the time,” he said, “But when I am injured, it needs a small break afterward.”

That made sense.

I wasn’t sure if I could guess.

He spoke differently than most people. I noticed he would say ‘do not’ instead of ‘don’t.’

He does that with a few other words too.

“I don’t want to guess,” I said.

He smiled lightly, “You do not need to worry about offending me.”

“Nineties?” I asked quickly.

He smiled.

“Am I close?” I asked.

He only shook his head.

“Higher or lower?”

His eyebrow arched, “That is for you to guess.”

I frowned. I didn’t want to keep guessing.

“Will you tell me if I guess it right?” I asked.

“I will.”

Noah made a sound, and it startled me.

Baird made a face before grabbing his tablet off of the counter.

“The sedatives are not working as well as they should,” Baird stated.

It hasn’t been that long since he was knocked out anyway.

“I administered the sedatives nearly an hour ago,” Baird stated.

I placed my hand on Noah’s leg, and he groaned.

“What does that mean?” I asked.

Baird kept his eyes on the tablet. It looked like something is bothering him.

“Baird,” I said, “What’s wrong?”

He slowly shook his head, “I need to speak with Dr. Olsen.”

“Baird,” I said, “Please, what is going on?”

“I am not entirely sure,” he confessed, “Stay here. I will return soon. Hopefully, with some answers.”

I nodded.

I didn’t want him to go, but I didn’t want to leave Noah either.

Baird turned and left.

I sat there, frowning.

My eyes went to Noah, and I couldn’t help but feel bad.

This had to be my fault.

I couldn’t help but blame myself for him being in this situation.

He wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for me.

My gaze went to the door Baird walked out of.

He would be back soon, right?

I got to my hands and knees and crawled up to Noah.

“Are you awake?” I asked.

I only got his even breaths in response.

Part of me felt guilty.

This was all my fault, and I wanted him to comfort me.

I curled up next to him and laid my head on his chest.

My eyes went right to the dark metal chain around his neck.

I have a similar one.

My curiosity got the better of me because I pulled the chain down to get the thin pendant into my hand.

My finger ran over the engraved letters.

Noah’s last name is Valentine?

I found myself grinning.

It was weird. I hadn’t even thought about it.

It felt like I already knew. I had no idea what his last name was.

In my head, I heard it.

Shay Valentine.

I felt my cheeks hurting because my smile was so wide.

I turned the thin metal over.

11/17.

I stared at the numbers for several minutes.

His birthday is on November 17th.

I laid the metal on his chest, and Noah let out a small sound.

“Are you still sleeping?” I asked.

I wasn’t expecting a response.

“Hmm,” he hummed.

“This whole time, I didn’t know your last name,” I said.

It felt weird to say it out loud.

He grunted.

I looked up at him, and it looked like he was trying to force himself to wake up.

I pat his chest, “You don’t have to force yourself to wake up.”

A small growl startled me.

I sat up a little to look at him.

His eyes were closed, but he fought his drowsiness.

He rolled, and I didn’t have time to move. His arm wrapped around me, and he pulled me against him.

He is warm.

I couldn’t help but snuggle into him.

 Noah:

My body hurt.

It felt like I kept tensing after finally allowing myself to relax.

I felt warm and tired.

The last thing I remembered was Shay changing her clothes.

My eyes opened quickly.

Where was I?

Where is Shay?

I see her this time before I can feel her.

My arms wrapped protectively around her.

This is why I felt so good, despite the pain.

I took in a much-needed breath.

She smelled like me.

It felt strange that I was even excited about my scent all over her.

It meant that she was more mine now than she was before.

I was all over her.

Any other Devil that inhaled her scent would know it too.

A light knock on the door made me frown.

The door opened even without a response.

“I know that you’re awake,” Dr. Booth stated.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Is your mate awake?” he asked, “I can’t see her numbers.”

“She is asleep,” I stated.

“Alright,” he said, “How are you feeling?”

I stared down at the top of Shay’s head.

“I feel alright,” I said.

“Any residual pain?” Dr. Booth asked.

“Not really,” I said, “But my body feels sore.”

“That makes sense,” he said, “You were fighting the change earlier. Your body put up a serious fight.”

It felt strange to hear it that way.

I put up a fight? The change felt like it was kicking my ass.

I remembered every detail of earlier, though.

That much I was incredibly proud of.

“Mr. Baird was worried about you earlier,” Dr. Booth stated, “He said that you were fighting the sedatives too.”

I frowned.

“I was?” I asked.

“It seems that the only time you can relax is if your mate is making physical contact with you.”

My hand went to the side of her face to tuck her hair behind her ear.

I felt at ease just having her near me.

At the same time, I felt this nearly unbearable ache.

“Based on your readings here,” He said, “I believe your body goes into a high-stress mode. I’m confident that all of that stress and lack of sleep is the cause of your seizures.”

“So, not Shay?” I asked.

“Well,” he said, “You being apart for too long, and you not getting the rest you need is a big factor.”

“The meetings are always far apart like this,” I stated, “What do we do?”

“From what I was told,” Dr. Booth said, “Mr. Baird is working on that right now.”

It worried me.

Either I was going to be kept far away from her, or I would be able to see her every day.

I personally wanted to see her as much as I could.

“What do you think is going to happen?’ I asked.

“Well, it’s hard to say for sure,” he said, “They will probably recommend that you keep your distance at first.”

I frowned.

That was the last thing that I wanted to hear come out of his mouth.

“So, you think they’ll separate us?” I asked.

“Most likely,” he said, “You’ve gone this long before without seizures. I’m ninety-nine percent positive that it is because of your mate.”

It was just getting worse.

The more he spoke, the crappier I felt.

My hand dropped to rest on Shay’s back.

My palm moved up and down soothingly.

I think my brain was trying to mess with me.

Comfort her, and it’s like comforting myself.

A small noise escaped her mouth.

“Noah?” she asked sleepily.

“Hey,” I said softly.

She lifted her head to look up at me.

She went from half-awake to worried in five seconds flat.

“What’s wrong?” she asked quickly.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

She sat up to look towards the door.

“What did you say to him?” she demanded.

Did I miss something here?

“I was just telling Noah that you two might need some space apart while we figure out the cause of his seizures.”

“I thought we already knew the cause,” she said before pointing to herself.

Wait, she thinks it's her fault?

“It’s not necessarily your fault,” Dr. Booth stated, “His body is behaving differently since finding you.”

She looked down at me, and she looked sad.

I moved myself up to a sitting position.

Dr. Booth looked at me oddly.

What the hell?

Shay’s hand gently wiped at my face.

Was I crying? I didn’t feel it.

My gaze went to Shay, and for a second, she blurred.

I shut my eyes tightly.

The last thing I wanted to do was cry in front of her.

“So, what does that mean?” Shay asked, “What happens if we’re separated?”

“Right now,” Dr. Booth sighed, “I don’t know for sure.”

I didn’t want to be without her again.

I hated this dependency I felt.

She didn’t need me like I needed her.

This felt miserable.

My body was telling me to stay with her.

It felt like I didn’t have a choice.

I startled myself when I growled.

My eyes opened to see Shay.

I felt angry at her.

This pain that I felt.

These seizures.

This loss of control.

It really was all her fault.

I knew that I would regret this later, but I couldn’t handle it right now.

“Shay,” I said, trying to stay calm, “Go home.”

She looked confused.

I probably would be too if I were her.

It felt like a switch was hit inside of me.

“You need me here,” she said softly.

She must sense that something is wrong.

“I don’t need you here,” I said flatly.

The flash of pain in her expression made me falter.

Anger quickly replaced anything else on her face.

“I get that bad things are happening to you,” she said, “But don’t take it out on me. I’m just trying to help.”

I frowned at her words.

I knew that already. She was helping.

The fault here is mine. I don’t want to depend on her.

I don’t want to need her as badly as I already do.

We’ve only known each other for a month.

This was not normal.

This need.

This attraction.

This desperation that I felt.

None of this is normal.

I glared at her.

“I’m only going to say it one more time,” I hissed, “Go home.”

Her glare mirrored mine.

“Fine,” she said, “Since you don’t want me here. I’ll leave.”

It hurt to hear those words.

“What exactly did I miss here?” Dr. Booth asked.

I didn’t even know what to say.

“Noah needs space,” Shay said.

She sounded hurt.

“Shay,” I whispered.

“What?” she snapped, “I thought this would be different.”

I felt the needles pressing hard into my skin as she glared at me.

What would be different?

“I knew this was probably too good to be true,” she murmured.

She took in an unsteady breath, and I was on my feet before she could exhale.

My arms wrapped protectively around her.

Her arms were wrapped around her as if she was trying to separate herself from me.

“Shay,” I said softly.

“No,” she gasped.

I didn’t know what to say.

The anger I felt is gone, and I only feel guilty.

She gently pushed at my chest.

I let my hands drop from around her, but she didn’t move.

“I told you,” she said, “Don’t take your anger out on me.”

I couldn’t look at her.

“I don’t know what to do,” I admitted.

“You think I do?” she asked.

I met her hurt eyes.

“I’m not even a Devil,” she said, “And I feel so many things for you. I don’t know what to do.”

I wish I had the answers for her.

I wish I knew what the fuck I was doing.

More than anything, I wished that I could be human with her.

For her.

“Lay back down Noah,” Shay said.

Why did she sound so tired?

My eyes tried to meet hers, but she only stared at the floor.

“Shay…”

She took in a deep breath before her eyes locked with mine.

She looked angry.

My chest tightened.

The tips of my fingers hurt.

I knew what that meant, and I didn’t know how to stop it.

I fucked up. I didn’t think that I would be regretting my words so soon.

“I don’t know what tests you needed to be done,” she said to Dr. Booth, “But I’m not doing them today.”

I wanted to say something, anything. The way she stood, facing away from me, told me she wasn’t talking to me.

Dr. Booth’s eyes were on me.

“Any particular reason why?” he asked her.

“It’s getting late,” she stated, “I need to go home.”

Guilt settled heavily in my stomach.

What was I supposed to say to that?

“Will you be coming back tomorrow?” I asked.

She didn’t even turn to look at me.

“Do you know where my phone is?” she asked.

Dr. Booth looked around the small table near the door before picking up a bag.

She looked at him, clearly confused.

“Looks like we weren’t able to find a charger for your phone,” he said, “Well, we didn’t really have a chance to with everything going on.”

She took the bag of her stuff.

Dr. Booth looked like he felt bad.

“Have Baird let me know when he finds out what the plan is, please,” Shay said.

Dr. Booth nodded, “I can do that.”

“Thank you,” she said.

Was she really going to leave like this?

“Shay…”

She held her hand up quickly to silence me.

I felt this itching sensation under my skin.

No, this wasn’t right.

Something is wrong.

“I am going home,” she said, “And I will not be coming back until Baird calls.”

I took in a shaky breath as I nodded.

“Whatever this is,” she said quietly, “This is a lot for both of us, clearly.”

I didn’t like where this was heading.

“We don’t even know each other, Noah,” she said, “Don’t you realize that?”

“That’s why we have the program,” I said.

Her eyes finally met mine after what felt like hours.

“Do you even know what my name is?” she asked.

I could hear the trembling in her voice.

“Shay Hamilton,” I said.

“My real name?” she asked.

I knew I heard it before.

“Shayne,” I stated.

She frowned.

I only knew because Dr. Gardiner interrupted our time together.

“I didn’t know your last name,” she admitted, “Not until I laid down beside you and read your necklace.”

I frowned.

Surely that wasn’t true.

“When we meet for the first time, we are introduced,” I stated.

“We already knew each other,” she said, “Baird didn’t say it, and neither did you.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. I genuinely thought that she knew.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

She shook her head.

“We barely know each other,” she said, “So why do we feel this way?”

I knew for the most part why I did, but why she did… that was a mystery to me.

“Is Eileen your only sibling?” she asked.

I nodded.

I could hear the hurt in her words.

“Your parents?” she asked, “Where are they?”

I only shook my head.

I met her eyes again, and I could see her lips trembling.

Every part of me screamed to go to her, but I know that is the last thing that she wants.

“Both of my parents are gone,” she said, “And I have three brothers.” Fuck.

She is right.

I knew about the two for sure, and there had been mention before about a third. I had no idea if there were more of them or not.

“Do you ever feel lonely when you have a minute to yourself?” she asked.

I shook my head.

I didn’t feel lonely.

I liked being alone.

Well, at least I used to.

“No,” I admitted, “But that has changed since I met you.”

She glared at me.

“What do I like to do when I’m sad?” she asked.

How was I supposed to know that?

“I don’t know,” I said.

“That is my point, Noah,” she took in a shaky breath, “We don’t know the important things about each other.”

I frowned.

It looked like she wanted to say more, but she didn’t.

“I know enough,” I said, “Does that not matter?”

“There are things we’re supposed to learn by having that time alone together,” she stated, “This program lacks the most important part of genuinely getting to know another person.” “It wouldn’t be safe,” I sighed.

It was like I was programmed to respond that way. I didn’t even have to think about it.

It was true, though.

I could have hurt her so many times already.

By the grace of God, I hadn’t.

“In all fairness,” I said,” You and I have had a pretty fast start.”

“How does that explain how I feel?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” I admitted.

“Why do I already need you?” she asked, “Why do I already know that I have found my soulmate?”

Her words made my heart pound.

“You know?” I asked her.

“I don’t know how,” she said, “But yes. I know.”

I wanted to wrap my arms around her.

The second I took a step forward, her arm came up to stop me.

Her palm was to me, and I didn’t want to listen.

I didn’t want to stand here while she was trembling like that.

“I am going home,” she said, “You need to get some rest.”

As if I could actually sleep.

“Mate,” I said.

“I can’t stay,” she said, “Or have you forgotten about the fact I can’t tell anybody about this program?”

I honestly never thought about it.

I just thought about her being here.

“I have people to look after,” she said, “And I can’t even tell them about you.”

It really never crossed my mind before.

Plenty of humans went through the program and seemed perfectly fine.

Did I really not pay attention?

“I’m sorry,” I said.

I wish I wasn’t this Devil either.

“We need to slow this down,” she said, “My heart can’t take it.”

“Okay,” I said.

Her words hurt.

Fucking hell, they hurt.

“So, as I keep saying,” she said, “I will see you next time.”

I wasn’t expecting her to remove my shirt.

My gaze went to the ground.

I felt the air from the motion of her tossing the shirt onto the bed behind me.

“Are you sure you don’t need a shirt?” Dr. Booth asked, “It’s chilly out.”

“I will be fine,” she said.

I didn’t hear anything else from her. Just the receding sound of her footsteps and the door clicking being her.

“Noah?” Dr. Booth asked.

I couldn’t breathe.

I turned away from him as I tried to calm myself down.

I couldn’t do it.

“Noah,” Dr. Booth said, “You need to calm yourself.”

I found myself crouching by the side of the bed.

Tears blinded me.

I wanted her to be wrong.

She was right, though.

We barely knew anything about each other.

I wanted to know those little things about her.

I wondered what she did with her feet when they were cold.

Did she just put on socks and bear it?

Did she find a blanket and snuggle with one of her siblings? By herself? With Jody?

I didn’t want her to feel the way that she did. I wanted to tell her everything would be alright.

What the fuck did I know?

I tried to muffle the sound of my sobs.

Dr. Booth thankfully got the hint and just left the room.

If I were human, I wouldn’t need to stay here and wait for her to come.

If I were human, I could be with her every day.

If only I were.

A light knock on the door suddenly pissed me off.

“Can’t I have one fucking minute?” I growled.

I heard the door click as it opened and again as it shut.

I recognized the scent.

Raisa stood with her back pressed against the door.

“What the fuck do you want?”

“Was that your mate?” she asked like she didn’t even hear me.

I glared at the woman.

“She is a pretty little thing, isn’t she?” she cocked her head sideways.

“Raisa,” I had to take in a breath so I could repeat myself calmly, “What the fuck do you want?”

“What do I always want?” she asked.

The last thing I wanted was this fiery bitch anywhere near me.

“Clearly, she isn’t taking very good care of you,” she said, “You aren’t the first sexually frustrated Devil in the program.”

What exactly is she trying to get at, other than me.

“I can take care of you,” she said seductively, “Until she can.”

My entire body flinched at her words.

I stood up and turned to face her.

“Take care of me how?”

[aroselane]

The Devil in Me Ch. 24

Chapter Twenty-Four: 

Noah:

I was tired.

Didn’t I just sleep?

Why am I so fucking tired?

“Noah?”

The voice sounded so far away. I could barely hear it.

“Noah?” the voice asked again, “Noah Valentine?”

My eyes opened, and I was in a white room.

The smell of disinfectant filled my nose, and I felt nauseous.

“Noah?”

I glanced over to see a man I’ve never met before.

“Who are you?” I asked.

It came out a little harsher than I intended.

He didn’t look the slightest bit bothered.

“My name is Dr. Logan Booth,” he said, “I am the new general doctor here at the facility.”

New doctor?

He glanced down at the folder in his hands.

“You were on your way to see me the other day,” he said, “When you had your first seizure.”

I blinked a few times before his words sank in.

“I had a seizure?” I asked, “Wait, you said first.”

His glowing blue eyes locked with mine, “That’s correct.”

“How long have I been here?”

“You came in yesterday afternoon,” he said, “And you have had several seizures since.”

His gaze went back to the folder in his hands.

“It says that you’ve had seven in total since arriving,” he closed the pale-yellow folder.

Oh fuck.

I was going to try a sedative before calling Shay.

I wanted to at least try and see if that worked.

His eyes were actually freaking me out the way he stared at me.

What the fuck was he?

“You are wondering my classification?” he asked, “Aren’t you?”

I wasn’t stupid. I knew what the glowing blue meant.

I just haven’t seen any in person before.

“I’m an Echo,” he said, “I believe you have another one here at the facility.”

Echoes were rare.

I haven’t met too many of those either.

“Can you actually heal others?” I asked, “Or can you only heal yourself?”

He smiled slightly at my question.

“And if I said that I could do both?” he asked.

“How old are you?” I asked.

“Now, now, Mr. Valentine,” he said, “We are here for you, not me.”

“Alright then,” I said, “What’s wrong with me?”

“Your body is exhausted,” he stated, “Sleep deprivation can cause some serious health issues, Devil or not.”

“Isn’t this something you can heal?”

“I can only do so much,” he admitted, “I was only able to give you a little bit of rest.”

So, it was probably because of him that I slept at all.

“When you’d wake, the first thing your body did was seize,” he stated, “Whatever the issue is, I can’t heal it.”

I felt myself frown.

“I was informed that you recently found your mate,” he said, “It might be because your body is reacting to either being close for too long or the absence of your mate for an extended period of time.”

“How would we know for sure?” I asked.

I didn’t want to have to stay away from her.

“Well, for one, I could just simply ask how you feel when she is away compared to when she is with you,” he said, “Then we would need to monitor you with her here.”

“With her here?”

My heart sped up involuntarily at the idea of seeing her again so soon.

He chuckled after glancing at the monitor beside the bed.

“Seems that got you a little excited,” he said.

“Doesn’t everybody?” I asked.

I felt a little embarrassed about how easily he saw through me.

“No,” he said, “It depends how you react to being close to your mate.”

“I thought everyone felt good,” I stated, “Maybe a little bit of pain sometimes.”

His eyes went to the window off to the side of the room, to my right.

“I had one patient that would bleed from her eyes every time her mate came near her,” he stated, “Another one slowly fell apart, piece by piece.”

I shuddered at the thought.

What if that happened to me whenever she came too close?

I’d lose my mind.

“It takes time,” he said, “But those were extreme cases.”

“Were they ever able to be together?” I asked.

He nodded, “Eventually.”

I was relieved to hear that.

“But they were afraid for so long,” he admitted, “To lose your body parts one by one is extremely painful.”

I couldn’t imagine it.

To be honest, I didn’t want to.

“So, Noah,” Dr. Booth said, “Do you experience pain whenever your mate is close to you?”

My head turned so that I could face him, “Yes, but nothing like that.”

He nodded before writing on the back of the folder.

“The pain stops when I touch her,” I admitted.

“Skin contact?” he asked, “Or just knowing that she is touching you?”

“Skin contact.”

He nodded slightly, writing that down too.

“Does it hurt you more whenever she is near you?” he asked, “Or when she is away?”

I had to think about that one. It was obvious.

“Depends on what you mean by hurt,” I stated.

“I don’t mean the need to claim her,” he stated, “I’m sure you knew that.”

I shrugged, “With you doctors, it’s hard to know for sure.”

“Just answer my questions the way I ask them,” he stated, “I won’t ask questions I don’t need the answers to.”

I nodded.

“It hurts more when she’s gone,” I admitted, “It’s like my bones ache.”

He wrote that down too.

“Every mate bond is different,” he stated, “We will still have to run some tests to know for sure.”

“Alright,” I said.

“From what Mr. Baird has said,” he said, “Your mate has the ability to calm you, as well as bring out your Devil.”

I only nodded.

“I would like to meet her,” he said.

I glared at him.

“I am quite aware of your protectiveness over your mate,” he stated, “You do not need to worry about me doing anything to her.”

I was curious.

Even though he didn’t like me prying before, I needed to know.

“Is it true?” I asked.

His eyes met mine again, “Is what true?”

“That Echoes have zero sex drive?”

“Would it make you feel better if it was?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I admitted.

“Have you asked the other Echo this same question?” he asked.

I made a face before looking at the floor.

“I’ll take that as a no then,” he stated.

“Baird has never expressed any real interest in sex,” I stated, “So I’ve never really had the chance to ask.”

He nodded slowly, “Maybe you should ask him.”

I frowned at the idea.

Baird already knew everything about me, if feel like I barely know him.

“I can’t speak for all Echoes,” Dr. Booth stated, “But I can say for most of us, we are very interested in sex.”

I didn’t like that he actually just said that to me.

Not if he was interested in meeting Shay.

“But for us,” he said, “We can’t have sex with whoever we want.”

My eyes locked with his, “What does that mean?”

“It means we can’t,” he stated, “Not until we find our mate, and even then, we can only perform with them.”

That sounded horrible.

Horrible and romantic in a fucked-up sort of way.

“Do you know if Mr. Baird is mated or not?” he asked.

I had no fucking idea.

I felt guilty for not asking more questions.

“What about you?” I asked, “Are you?”

“No,” he stated.

I was curious, and I felt a little bad for what I was about to ask him.

“So, that means that you’re a virgin?”

He sighed, “That’s what you’re curious about?”

“Wait,” I said, “Does that mean your dick doesn’t work until you find your mate?”

He glared at me now.

“Fuck,” I said, “So that means you can’t jerk off?”

“Noah,” he sighed.

“You’ve never…” I was cut off by the sound of someone clearing their throat.

Baird stood in the doorway, with an intense frown.

“I apologize for him, Dr. Booth,” Baird stated, “He has manners most of the time.”

I felt a bit bad, but I couldn’t help it if I was curious.

“It’s alright, Mr. Baird,” Dr. Booth said, “I am used to it.”

“It is good, however, to see him finally awake,” Baird said.

“Yes,” Dr. Booth said, “However, it won’t last long.”

I didn’t like the sound of that.

“We still need to find the cause of seizures,” he stated, “Only then can we make efforts to halt them entirely.”

“Yes,” Baird nodded in agreement.

“I am sorry in advance,” Dr. Booth said, “Based on my short time here with Noah, I believe I’ve incited curiosity.”

“Hmm,” Baird said, “That is quite alright.”

It was like listening to two old men talking about boring shit.

“I will come back in a little bit,” Dr. Booth said.

He left the room, leaving only Baird and me.

“How are you feeling?” Baird asked.

I didn’t really have a chance to think about that yet.

“Heavy,” I admitted.

“You should lie back down.”

I shook my head.

It’s not like I could sleep anyway.

“So, I assume you have questions for me then,” Baird said.

“I’ve known my whole life that you are an Echo,” I stated, “But I never really knew what that meant.”

Baird glanced to the side, avoiding my eyes.

“Are you happy?” I asked.

His eyes widened before he smiled, “That is your first question?”

“Yes,” I said firmly, “Are you?”

“I am content,” he said, “Happy? I am not sure to what extent.”

“Have you,” I hesitated, “Have you found your mate?”

His hand came up to tug a bit at his ear, but his eyes still avoided looking in my direction.

“You know everything there is to know about me,” I said, “I realized that there is a lot I don’t know about you.”

A dinging sound went off, and I knew it was Baird.

His phone went off, and he needed to check it.

He brought the device up so that he could read the message he received.

“There is plenty of time to know more about me, Noah,” he said, “But I do not know how much of my life you need to know.”

It was weird that his words hurt.

“Is it really so wrong that I want to know you better?” I asked.

“No,” he stated, “What I say, however, will make you worry unnecessarily about me.”

“Then let me worry, Baird,” I stated, “Despite you being a pain in my ass, you’re my family.”

His eyes widened again at my words.

“It’s weird to say, I get it,” I said, “But I’ve always considered you kind of like a father to me.”

“Noah,” Baird said so quietly I barely heard, “You need to worry about yourself right now.”

“I’ve worried about myself enough today,” I stated, “I’m already fucked up, something is wrong, and we can’t figure it out.”

His eyes met mine finally, and I could see that he was genuinely worried.

“Please,” I said, “Just humor me.”

“Yes,” Baird said, “I found my mate.”

I was filled with an irrational amount of happiness to hear that.

“Really?” I asked, “What is she like?”

He smiled, but it didn’t meet his eyes.

“He died,” Baird said, “A very long time ago.”

I wanted to ask him more, but something felt wrong.

My vision blurred, and I felt myself falling backward.

 Shay:

The anxiousness I felt the whole way to the facility was wild.

I almost yelled at Jody to drive faster, but there was only so much either one of us could do.

“Shay,” Jody said, “I’m sure that he’s alright.”

Alright or not, I felt like I needed to be there.

We were close, and I was practically shaking.

I needed to see him.

I needed to wrap my arms around him and just hold him.

This had to be scary for him too.

It only took a few minutes before the facility was in view.

“Finally,” I sighed.

“You can jump and run if you want,” Jody said, “While I park.”

“Park fast,” I said, “And we can run together.”

She handed me her phone, “Let Baird know that we are here.”

I typed in her password before sending the short message.

To: Ginger Baird Man – ‘We’re here.’

I didn’t even get to see his reply.

Jody parked and took her seatbelt off.

I handed her the phone before removing my seatbelt too.

We both practically ran to the entrance of the trial center.

It surprised me to see Delaney there.

“Hey,” Delaney said when he saw us.

Jody grinned wide despite her nerves.

I was glad that she was able to see him.

“Baird asked me to take you both to the medical center,” Delaney stated.

“How is he doing?” I asked.

Delaney smiled a little awkwardly at me.

“That boy is just drama,” he grinned, “Don’t worry too much.”

I wasn’t sure if I should feel relieved or think Delaney was just trying to make light of the situation.

Delaney held his hand out for Jody, and she took it.

Her cheeks were almost as pink as her short hair.

“Can it,” Jody growled at me.

“Cuties,” I said.

Delaney led us through way too many doors.

It seemed like each section of this facility was color-coded.

The trial center was just white walls and mirrors.

The section where Noah’s room was, was red and white.

The medical section was yellow and white.

I could see a few people walking around now.

Some of them even stopped to look at us.

Shit, I forgot that we were still wearing our workout clothes.

They were still covered in dirt.

Jody’s hot pink capris and sports bra weren’t as bad as the black matching set I wore.

Delaney stopped at a door before he knocked.

The door opened, and Baird stood just inside.

I didn’t recognize the other man, but I ignored both of them.

I was quick inside the room.

“Shay,” Baird said.

“Please refrain from touching him,” the other man said.

I just kept moving forward until I reached the bed.

Noah laid there, and I wasn’t sure if he was even conscious.

My knuckles brushed the side of his face gently.

“Noah,” I whispered.

A tired grin spread across his face.

“You’re here.”

I laughed, trying not to show how worried I was.

“Yeah, I’m here,” I said, “What the hell happened?”

Noah’s eyes opened slowly to lock with mine before he looked over at the others.

“Oh,” he said, “How long was I out?”

He sounded a little out of it.

“Forty-five minutes,” the other man said.

“Who are you?” I asked the man.

“This is Dr. Booth,” Baird said, “Dr. Gardiner's replacement.”

I was relieved to hear that.

“Sorry,” I smiled, “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Shay.”

“I take it Dr. Gardiner rubbed a lot of people the wrong way?” Dr. Booth asked.

“You could say that,” Delaney laughed.

“What?” Jody asked, confused, “Who?”

“Shitty pervy doctor,” I said.

“Ah,” Jody said, “Sounds like a real asshole.”

“He was,” Delaney stated, “The man didn’t have any boundaries.”

“What do you mean?” Jody asked.

Delaney made a face before shaking his head.

I didn’t like the look on his face. It only makes me think that Dr. Gardiner did something to him.

I was looking at Delaney and Jody, so I didn’t see Noah moving closer to me.

I felt his breath on my neck before I felt his nose touch just under my ear.

“Noah,” Baird said, “You should lie down.”

I turned my head to meet his lilac eyes.

“Baird,” Dr. Booth said, “Can I see your tablet please?”

Why did it feel like something was wrong?

Baird sighed before pressing a few things and handing it to him.

“Is it usual to see a change so quickly?” Dr. Booth asked.

“Not Typically,” Baird stated.

Noah moved forward to bury his face in my neck and pull me closer.

My chest was pressed against his.

“These readings don’t appear normal,” Dr. Booth stated, “Shay, if you can, please move away from him.”

Noah only tightened his grip a little around me, but not enough to hurt me.

“I don’t see that happening,” I said, “Sorry.”

“Noah,” Dr. Booth moved closer, “You need to let Shay go.”

Noah growled, louder than usual.

I looked over at Dr. Booth and Baird.

“He doesn’t like it when people get too close to me,” I stated.

“Is it usually like this?” Dr. Booth asked Baird.

“Unfortunately.”

“Fucking hell,” Dr. Booth sighed, “Well, what do we do about this?”

It was pretty much up to me to make Noah back off a little.

“Noah,” I said.

“Hmm,” he hummed into my neck.

“Hands off,” I said.

A small growl of protest told me no.

I frowned.

I needed to sound a bit more serious then.

“Noah,” I said again.

“Hmm,” he hummed again.

I pulled myself back roughly, and he looked startled.

He reached for me, but I slapped his hand.

“No,” I growled.

His expression fucking broke me.

He looked like I hurt him, maybe not physically but mentally.

“Shit,” I mumbled.

He just kept staring at me.

He must have been worried about trying to touch me again.

“Sit up,” I said.

He moved to sit up all the way.

“Shay,” Dr. Booth said, “It is probably best that you keep your distance.”

Most likely, but when Noah made that face at me, I couldn’t.

“Move your leg,” I said.

Noah looked down before moving his leg over the side of the bed.

I sat in front of him, so my side was against his chest, and my legs hung over the side of the bed.

He didn’t move closer to me.

I turned my head slightly to see the same look on his face.

“I’m sorry,” I said, reaching up to touch his cheek.

He finally moved forward to rub his nose on the side of my face.

“How are you feeling?” Dr. Booth asked.

Noah acted like he didn’t hear him.

Well, either he ignored him, or he couldn’t hear him.

“Noah,” I said.

I felt his hand on the back of my neck.

“The man is asking you a question,” I said.

“Repeat the question,” Noah sighed, “Please.”

Both of the men made a face.

Jody and Delaney were too busy playing with each other’s hands to pay much attention to what was going on in here.

I was thankful for that.

“How are you feeling?” Dr. Booth asked again.

“I feel better,” Noah said.

“Your numbers certainly agree with you,” Baird stated.

Noah chuckled.

I felt it everywhere.

His left hand came up to land on my thigh, the one furthest from him.

It went to the side as if to keep me there.

I watched Baird pull his phone out of his pocket.

What was he doing?

“You smell like the earth,” Noah said.

“Well, one tends to smell like dirt when they roll around on it,” I said awkwardly.

He laughed, “Why were you rolling in the dirt?”

I pressed my face closer to his.

“Jody and I were goofing off instead of running,” I admitted, “We were laughing about something, and we both just ended up on the ground.”

I could see the broad smile on his face, but then it faded.

“What is it?” I asked.

“I’m jealous,” he confessed.

“Delaney,” Baird said louder than necessary, “Head down to the program center. Steven is waiting for both of you.”

“What for?” Delaney asked.

“The two of you are here,” Baird said, “Why not make a meeting out of it?”

“Really?” Jody gasped.

“Go on,” Baird said, “Behave yourselves, please.”

“No promises,” Delaney said.

“Shay,” Jody said, “Are you alright?”

“Go,” I said, “Be with your boy.”

“Are you sure?” she asked.

She was worried.

I didn’t want her to miss out on time with Delaney. Her mate.

“We’ll be okay,” I said, “They need me here.”

Delaney linked his hand with hers again.

He was waiting to see if I needed her, and I didn’t have the words to express how much I appreciated that.

“Go on,” I said again, “Go with your mate.”

Jody nodded.

Delaney led her away, and I sighed.

“Interesting,” Dr. Booth said.

“What is?” I asked.

Baird glanced at him too.

“Were the two of you friends before all of this?”

I nodded, “We signed up for the program together.”

“And you both found mates?” he asked, “Here at this facility?”

It was strange the way that he said it.

“Yes,” I said.

Noah’s eyes were on Dr. Booth.

“Don’t glare at me like that,” Dr. Booth said.

“He’s protective,” I said, “Just don’t come any closer, and you’ll be fine.”

Noah grunted in agreement.

Baird ignored what I just said and stood right in front of me.

Noah just looked at him, and it surprised me.

He usually growls.

“You should let her go for a bit Noah,” Baird said, “Let Shay take a shower and come back.”

“No,” he said firmly.

“We have tests that we need to run,” he said, “And she is not dressed appropriately for them.”

His grip tightened on my thigh, and it made me gasp.

“Baird,” I said.

Before I could say more, Noah started to growl.

I grabbed his chin to silence him.

He stopped mid growl to press his face to the side of mine again.

“It is strange,” Baird said, “He will only listen to you in this state.”

I knew that already.

It was actually a major turn on.

I mean, it was nice that he listened to me when he ignored everybody else.

“Tell him that you need to take a shower and come back,” Baird stated.

“I don’t want to leave,” I said.

“Baird,” Noah said, “Stop.”

“You do not have to leave the facility,” Baird said, “You just need to shower and change.”

“No,” Noah growled against my face.

I gasped, feeling the vibration against my jaw.

“Why not?” I asked.

“No,” he whispered.

“Noah,” I whispered, “Why not?”

He moved his face away to look at Baird, “There are cameras.”

I looked at Baird too.

“Then we turn them off,” Baird stated.

Noah blinked several times before he grunted.

“Can I also borrow a charging cable?” I asked, “My phone is dead.”

Baird nodded.

“Who’s clothes?” Noah asked.

“Facility clothes,” Baird said.

“Mine,” Noah said.

“Is that a good idea?” Dr. Booth asked.

“Your shirt,” I said, “Your clothes are too big for me.”

“Shay,” he said.

“No,” I said, “The fact that I am even here now is a privilege.”

“Well,” Dr. Booth said, “I like her already.”

Noah did not like that he said that.

“Then I go with her,” Noah said.

“You are not showering with me,” I stated.

“Of course not,” he said, “Did you forget where you were?”

“No,” I said, “I didn’t forget.”

“I just need to be close,” he said in a pleading tone, “If something happens, I can get to you in time.”

I sighed.

“Is that really necessary?” I asked.

“No,” he admitted, “But it would make me feel better.”

“Fine,” I said, “But you don’t get to see me naked. Period.”

He just stared at me.

“I don’t have to see you to get excited,” he said, “If that’s what you’re worried about.”

I felt the blush on my face.

“The thought alone is enough,” he said right in my ear.

I shivered.

“I will take her to the bathrooms,” Baird said, “You get her something to wear.”

Noah nodded.

“I need a bra,” I poked his shoulder, “Don’t forget it.”

“Is underwear optional then?” he asked with a playful grin.

I arched my brow at him, “Think hard about that one, mate.”

I swear pink tinted his cheeks.

“I’ll be a minute,” he said.

I placed a quick kiss on the side of his lips before I stood up.

“I want that dark red shirt this time,” I said.

He nodded before I turned to leave the room.

What kind of tests did they need to do?

 Noah:

I hated the idea of Shay being here where I can’t see her.

It was weird. I felt like she was safer with Baird now than I did before.

Was it because I knew that he already found his mate?

His mate was a man.

I didn’t see that one coming.

Then again, it wasn’t like we got to choose our mate.

It made me wonder if Baird was ever this helpless when it came to his mate.

Now that I thought about it, I thought that Devils were the only ones that reacted to their mates?

Dr. Booth said that Echo classifications couldn’t perform without a mate.

That would be awful.

I shook my head, trying to get back to what I should be doing.

I had clothes in my hands for Shay. I needed to hurry back.

My body felt a little numb as I walked.

I didn’t feel very well.

Should I even be walking around at all?

This was probably a terrible idea.

My feet stopped at the bathroom entrance.

Shay is inside.

I hesitated before I turned the knob.

Baird stood there with his back to the showers.

He glanced up at me.

“What took you so long?” he asked.

“You know damn well,” I said.

He only smirked at me.

I froze. It was weird because I felt it coming.

“Baird,” I gasped just before I hit the floor.

“Noah,” Baird shouted.

My vision blurred.

“Shay,” Baird gasped.

I felt her hands on my face before I could see clearly again.

Baird pulled a towel around her quickly, but I saw everything.

Fuck.

“Sorry,” she said quickly.

It hurt pulling myself from the floor.

She hugged the towel tightly to her front as she knelt beside me.

“Baird,” I gasped again.

He wasn’t fast enough. I pulled her to me.

I pressed her roughly against my chest, and I wrapped my arm around her exposed back. My other hand pulled her thighs tightly to my side.

She gasped.

This really is a terrible idea.

I should have let Baird handle this alone.

I didn’t expect to nearly have another seizure.

She stopped it, which means that it probably has to do with her.

She kept her arms protectively over the front of the towel, shielding her breasts from me.

I didn’t like that.

I raised her up just a little to press my face against her arms.

“Noah,” she gasped.

I wasn’t in control anymore.

“Baird,” I said quickly, “Sedative.”

It was all I could say before I tugged gently at the bottom of the towel.

Shay had a good grip on it.

Baird was quick out of the room.

The hand I gripped her thighs with went to the top of the towel.

I was going to pry her arms away if I had to.

“What are you doing?” she asked, “Stop.”

My hand froze over her arms.

How did she have so much power over me?

“I want you,” I said.

“Noah,” she groaned.

My gaze dropped to her arms.

“I want to see them,” I whispered.

“Baird is coming back,” she said.

“I don’t care,” I said back.

“You want him to see me naked?” she asked.

It was like a switch clicked in me.

“No,” I groaned.

My hand went from her arm to pull the towel around her back. That way, it wrapped all the way around her.

She relaxed in my arms.

It might have been a mistake. I raised her up again, and when I pulled her back, her legs were on either side of my hips.

“What the hell?” she demanded.

Fuck, she is warm.

The hot shower she took only increased her body heat. I knew that me pressing her against me raised it too.

I hated how badly I ached.

My finger hooked on the top of the towel, and she stared down at me.

“This is a bad idea,” she said.

“I know,” I said.

She just stared at me before loosening her grip.

My heart pounded in my ears as I slowly pulled it down.

Right in my face were two perfectly shaped small breasts.

I hummed in appreciation.

Her hand went around my shoulder before settling on the back of my neck. It felt like she was urging me forward.

I didn’t hesitate for even a second.

My mouth could almost take her completely.

I ran my tongue over the hardened point, feeling the metal bar.

She moaned, and it encouraged me to suck gently.

Her hand locked in my hair, and my jaw started to hurt.

“Fuck,” I growled into her sternum before doing the exact same thing to her other breast.

She shouldn’t have done it. It only made it worse.

She arched her back, making her pelvis brush against me.

I groaned.

She was naked.

Only two pieces of clothing separated me from her warmth.

I heard Baird before I saw him. I pulled the towel up to cover her.

She gasped.

The door opened, and two guards followed Baird in.

Shay smiled sheepishly at him.

My eyes stayed on her. I didn’t even bother to look at the other men.

“Shay,” Baird said gently, “I am going to administer these, but I need you to keep his focus on you.”

“That shouldn’t be too hard,” she said.

Baird moved behind me, and I growled.

Shay took my face into her hands and touched her nose to mine.

I shivered.

God, I wanted her.

I wanted her so fucking badly.

Her mouth opened over mine, and she took in a shallow breath.

I was still too aware of Baird. My body turned when he nearly pierced me with a needle.

He moved back quickly.

“Shay,” Baird warned.

“I’m trying,” she said.

I don’t know what she’s thinking. It wasn’t safe to be doing anything with me right now.

I’m just surprised I haven’t blacked out yet.

“Noah,” she whispered into my ear.

It only got a shiver in response. I didn’t turn to face her.

“I think they can see my back,” she said, “I feel a breeze.”

My body turned to look at the other two, and I growled.

Her hands moved away from the front of her towel, and I panicked.

My hand was quick to hold it there.

“Hide me,” she said.

Hide her? Hide her where?

How the fuck was I supposed to do that?

My eyes went around the room quickly, but the only place I could get to quickly was the corner of the room by the door.

She was shaking.

I wanted to let him sedate me, but I couldn’t stop reacting. I think she knew that.

I glanced quickly to see where everyone was in the room before I shot to my feet.

“Noah,” Baird warned.

Shay’s thighs shook as she clung to me. It made me groan.

I was quick to find the corner and push her legs off me.

She didn’t hold the towel. I had to catch it before it exposed any of her.

Her arms wrapped around my shoulders, forcing me to duck down.

“Shay,” I pleaded, “Please.”

She looked worried.

Her hand gently rubbed my face.

“Be here with me,” she whispered soothingly.

I nodded nervously.

My body trembled at the approaching feet.

I hated the piercing of the sedative needle. I didn’t want it to hurt. I didn’t want it to burn like I knew that it would.

“Eyes on me,” she breathed.

My eyes locked with hers.

“I’m afraid,” I confessed.

She looked shocked, and then she looked at the others angrily.

“Try not to think about them,” she nodded quickly.

It was easy to say.

She looked like she was thinking about something quickly, then she glanced to my left.

I tried to turn, but she pulled me tighter to her.

My first instinct was to push away, but I didn’t want to leave her.

My body hurt from how hard I trembled.

“Fuck,” I growled.

“Noah,” she said, taking my face into her hands, “What’s taking so long?”

“He keeps flinching away,” Baird said, “I am trying to avoid hurting him.”

She frowned at me.

“You’re going to put your face here,” she said, gesturing to her neck, “And you’re going to let them do what they need to do, okay?”

I wanted to nod and say okay.

I couldn’t.

“I don’t want them to hurt you,” she said.

It felt like she was letting them do exactly that, but knew better.

“You better fucking be quick about it, Baird,” I growled.

“I am trying my best,” he said, “Listen to your mate.”

She held her arm out for me to come closer while the other hand held the towel in place.

My head was slow to bury itself into her neck. My arms wrapped around her tightly.

I trusted her.

I trust her.

Her arms wrapped protectively around me, one around my shoulders and the other around my lower back.

“Noah,” she said softly, “My home.”

I shuddered.

The second the words left her mouth, three needles pierced the side of my neck.

I growled feeling my body give out.

The burning liquid made its way through my veins, and I felt it all the way to my chest.

My grip was so tight around her that she went to her knees when I did.

“Get them out, Baird,” I growled.

I saw him reach for Shay, but I growled louder.

“It is okay,” Baird said, “We have it from here.”

I could barely hear the two of them leave.

“Clothes,” I gasped.

“You are in the way,” Baird said.

“Clothes,” I growled.

That last one hurt.

The burning from the sedatives and the rumble of my growl was not a pleasant combination.

“It’s okay, Baird,” Shay said, “Hand me the shirt.”

Baird sighed, “Alright.”

My vision blurred, but my body stayed firmly in place.

I saw the shirt at my side, and she was quick to claim it.

The plain white bra was in her hand.

She glanced up at me quickly.

“Put it on,” I said slowly.

She nodded.

The towel dropped, and I stared openly at her bare skin.

My eyes went down to her belly button, then over to the red on her skin.

I had only seen a glimpse of it the other day.

I saw a red wolf. It was launching forward to bite, and inside of it was a human skeleton.

It looked like the skeleton was the human part of the wolf.

My hand went over the ink on her right side.

She managed to put the bra on without me seeing, and the shirt dropped, blocking the tattoo from my view.

“How am I supposed to put underwear on?” she asked.

I only stared at her.

Baird held the cloths out for her again.

“Not fair,” Shay said playfully, “You get to see me naked.”

I hummed, pleased that she was aware that I was going to stare at her.

“I would bare myself to you in a heartbeat,” I said.

Her cheeks went red before she stood in front of me.

My shirt was long enough to cover her.

I frowned.

I noticed her glancing quickly behind me, at Baird.

He was, hopefully, looking away. I couldn’t turn to check.

She stepped into the light gray boxer shorts, and she slowly pulled them up.

I didn’t realize I was biting my lip until it started to hurt.

I saw a quick glimpse, and I groaned.

My underwear was on her, hiding her most private area away from me.

I both hated and loved the idea of it.

My body relaxed finally, knowing that she was covered.

Her bare legs were only visible for another minute before she sheathed them in dark gray sweat pants.

I slumped forward, and she caught me.

“Better?” Baird asked.

“Yes,” I said.

“Now, I need to get you back to your room at the medical center,” he said.

I shut my eyes, feeling her gently touching my cheek.

Then I knew the sedative was fully in effect, because I lost consciousness.

[aroselane]

The Devil in Me Ch. 23

Chapter Twenty-Three:

Shay:

I don’t even remember how I made it home.

The day felt like such a blur, and I felt a little empty.

Was it normal to miss another person this much?

I barely saw him a few hours ago, and it was like it still wasn’t long enough.

Part of me wanted to tell Jody, but I was worried about what she might say.

I was thinking about the special program again, and I was seriously considering it.

Would Noah be alright with that?

My gaze dropped to my feet, and I felt terrible.

I missed the warmth of his hands.

I missed just being able to breathe him in.

I moved the sleeves of his shirt up to my face.

His scent was still on the fabric, and I was thankful for that.

When I tried to describe what he smelled like, I came up blank.

It wasn’t too musky.

There was a hint of something sweet, and something only Noah.

My body could still remember the weight of him on top of me, and my mind couldn’t settle.

My hand came up to gently touch the pendant I wore for the program.

I could feel the engraving on each end when my finger passed over the metal.

A light knock pulled my attention out of my own head.

“Yeah?” I said after clearing my throat.

Andre opened the door and looked at me with a worried expression.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

I nodded, even though I wasn’t even sure how I felt.

“You sure?” he asked,

I wanted to nod again, but I couldn’t.

I looked down at my feet.

“Shay,” he said, “You can talk to me, you know.”

“I know,” I said.

“So, talk to me,” he said in a slightly pleading tone, “You don’t always have to be okay.”

“I know,” I said again.

I just didn’t know what to say.

The only thing wrong was what I couldn’t even talk to my own brother about.

The distance, the lack of time I could actually spend with Noah.

I suppose I could just tell him a little bit.

“So,” I began slowly, “There is this boy that I like.”

His face lit up.

“Go on,” he said, “Don’t leave me in suspense.”

It felt wrong not to tell him everything that I knew, but I did this to myself.

He made a face before I could go on, “Did he do something to you?”

I was quick to shake my head, “No, no.”

He let out a relieved sigh, “Then what is it?”

I smiled slightly as I thought of Noah.

“He is a really good guy,” I said, “He is warm.”

His eyebrow arched at that last part, “Warm?”

My mind couldn’t help but go back to one of the last things he said to me.

He said home.

“What was it that mom used to say about home?” I asked.

He smiled, and I could see the memory getting to him.

“Well, mostly it was about being home is where the heart is,” he said, “But that changed sometimes.”

I nodded.

He knew this part better than I did.

“Mom always called dad her home,” he said, “No matter what happened or where they ended up in life, as long as he was with her, she was home.”

My heart ached at the thought.

He couldn’t possibly have meant it that way,

It was too soon for that.

“Are you trying to say that you found your home?” he asked.

I wanted to deny it, but I felt it.

Deep down, I knew that Noah was my home.

I shook my head before I smiled at him, “I don’t know him that well yet.”

I felt terrible lying to Andre.

One day I might be able to bring him home.

It hurt just thinking about it.

 Noah:

It’s been two days since I last saw Shay.

A painful ache settled in my bones at the loss of her.

I was on my way out when I saw Eileen standing not too far from my door.

“Noah,” she grinned, “I was just on my way to talk to you.”

I felt a little uneasy as she continued to smile at me.

“How are you doing?” she asked.

We barely made it down the hall before she asked.

“I’m alright,” I said, “How have you been?”

“I know Shay came to your room the other day,” she said, “I don’t want to beat around the bush here. What happened?

“I couldn’t sleep,” I stated.

She frowned, “What do you mean?”

“Since our first meeting,” I said, “I couldn’t sleep.”

She looked horrified, “You’re telling me that you didn’t sleep for over a week?”

My gaze dropped to the floor as we walked.

“Noah,” she sighed, “That is why we have access to sedatives.”

“You think I didn’t try that first?” I asked her, “It didn’t work.”

I didn’t mean to snap at her, and I could see the surprise on her face.

“Well, did you manage to get any sleep with her here?”

I nodded, “Not much, though.”

She smiled wickedly at me.

“Eileen,” I said, “I think that something is wrong with me.”

Her smile faded instantly, “What do you mean?”

My eyes stung before I could even say it.

“When did you know how you felt about Brian?”

She made a face, “Well, we grew up together.”

“But, did you like him before you felt the pull?” I asked.

She shook her head, “We didn’t really talk at all.”

I nodded slowly.

“Brian is human, so we didn’t even get a chance to spend much time together.”

I knew that already.

“I was lucky not to have to participate in the program,” she said, “I can remember the exact moment I felt it.”

She never told me this before.

“When did you feel it?”

“I was trying to sneak out with Breena,” she admitted.

“No,” I said playfully, “The good girls sneaking out?”

She shoved me, “I’m serious.”

“Okay,” I said, “Tell me what happened.”

“I was trying to be quiet, walking as close to the cafeteria wall as possible.”

I nodded.

“Then this weird feeling hit me,” she said, “It was like I couldn’t breathe.”

We stopped walking, and I just stared at my sister.

“I don’t remember much else,” she admitted, “But Breena said that I had a seizure.”

I frowned, “Why am I only hearing about this now?”

She held her hand up for me to stop.

“Brian was on night duty,” she said, and a small smile formed on her face, “I stopped shaking the second he touched me.”

His father is in charge of the facility. It made sense that he would have some medical training.

“It felt like bricks were being dropped on my chest whenever he was near me,” she said, “I couldn’t breathe.”

“You always seemed like you were fine,” I stated.

“It took some time,” she said, “Like all things do.”

I nodded slowly.

“I knew that I loved him a couple of months after that first night,” she admitted, “It was weird. It was like he felt his own kind of pull towards me.”

My eyes locked with hers.

“Do you know if Shay feels it too?” she asked.

“I’m not sure,” I admitted, “I haven’t asked, but it feels like she might.”

“There was this electricity in the air when she first saw you,” Eileen stated, “I wasn’t sure if it was just me or not.”

I wanted to tell her how I felt. I wanted to tell her that I called her my home already.

I was afraid that she might laugh at me.

It is Eileen. I know she won't laugh.

She might tease me, though.

“Eileen,” I hesitated.

“What is it?” she asked.

I opened my mouth, but I wasn’t sure if I could say it.

“Noah,” she said earnestly, “You can tell me.”

I nodded, but it wasn’t that easy.

I had to swallow the saliva that gathered in my mouth while I tried to fight my nerves.

“Do you,” I paused, “Do you remember what mom used to say?”

She made a face, “Say about what?”

I bit my lip, almost painfully.

“Noah,” she sounded even more concerned if that was possible, “I didn’t get a chance to know much about our mother, but I remember some of the things that she used to tell us.”

“Do you remember the one about home?” I asked.

Her expression changed, and she smiled.

I could see the joy on her face, and she tried to hide it.

“It was always my favorite,” she admitted, “Mom talked as if home wasn’t a place at all.”

I nodded, “Do you remember why?”

“Well,” she said, “I was told that mom never found her mate, but she always dreamed about them.”

I waited while she thought out loud.

“She would always compare them to coming home for the first time,” she smiled wider, “Like the person you loved was your true home, not an actual house.”

I just stood there.

She played with the ends of her hair, nervously, “Mom dreamed of coming home.”

I couldn’t look at her when she made that face.

She looked a little hurt, but I knew it was only because of a memory.

We were both the product of the breeder program.

We shared the same mother, but we had different fathers.

“Why do you ask?” Eileen finally asked.

I wasn’t sure how to just say it without sounding ridiculous.

“When I was with Shay, it just slipped out of my mouth,” I admitted.

“What just slipped out of your mouth?” she asked, “Don’t tell me you dropped the love bomb already.”

I shook my head.

Her brows furrowed, “Then, what did you say?”

“I called her my home.”

My gaze dropped to the floor.

I was too embarrassed to look at Eileen.

I’m not sure if I could handle the giggling.

“Noah,” she said.

I glanced up just slightly before she hugged me.

This was not a reaction I expected from her.

She squeezed me tightly.

“Mom would absolutely love Shay,” she said.

I couldn’t handle that.

My eyes stung again, and I didn’t want to cry.

I forced her back, and I shook my head.

“Don’t try to act all manly,” she warned, “You said it, and that means that you know.”

Of course I know.

Just being away from her hurt me.

I wish the pain was only mental.

“Is Brian your home?” I asked.

She grinned at me, “Of course he is.”

I wanted to ask more, but it felt too personal.

“It took a while before I knew for sure,” she admitted, “But when I knew it, it was like every cell in my body sang.”

“Yeah?” I asked.

She nodded seriously, “I know that you haven’t been with many people, but I know that you know when you’ve found something special.”

“Eileen,” I said.

“I get it,” she threw her hands up, “But I like Shay, and I’m glad that it’s her.”

I nodded, “I’m glad too.”

I am, and it was strange to feel that way.

A long silence hung over us before she spoke again.

“Are you alright?” she asked.

I shook my head.

“You miss her?”

I nodded.

“Have you been able to sleep?” she asked.

I shook my head.

“How long has it been?” she asked, “Two days?”

I nodded again.

“Maybe you should try a sedative,” she suggested.

I didn’t want to talk to Dr. Gardiner.

“Or,” she said innocently, “You could try calling her.”

I looked at Eileen like she was crazy.

“I didn’t get the chance to give it to you the other day,” she said, holding out a piece of paper, “When you got back from work, you were really sick.”

My gaze lingered on the paper still in her hands, “Is that really what I think it is?”

She grinned, “Don’t say that I don’t love you, big brother.”

I slowly reached for the paper to see if she would pull it away to mess with me, but she didn’t.

I took the paper into my hands and unfolded it.

In perfect handwriting were ten digits and a small purple heart.

 Shay:

My legs were killing me.

“Don’t stop now,” Jody said, “We’re almost there.”

I hated her random fitness days.

When she got drunk and made plans, she followed through.

“Jody,” I gasped, “My ass hurts.”

I felt the muscles in my thighs hurting, and the pain went up to my ass.

“Save that kind of talk for your boy,” she said.

I stopped dead in my tracks.

She noticed that I stopped and retreated her steps to stand in front of me.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “I can’t control my mouth sometimes.”

I nodded.

It wasn’t like anything happened. I just didn’t want to think about how much I missed him.

Hell, I was out here quite literally running my ass off to not think about him.

“Any updates about your boy?” I asked her.

She shook her head.

I think we might have fucked up.

That stunt from the other day, and then not signing the papers.

Shit.

“Have you thought more about it?” I asked, “About the special program?”

She made a face, “Of course I have thought about it.”

I nodded slowly.

“I think about that boy being chained to a wall, and all the dirty things I would do to him.”

“That is so not what I meant,” I had to cover my face.

I was embarrassed for her for what just came out of her mouth.

“You haven’t thought about it?” Jody asked me seriously.

“Not like that,” I stated, “I’ve been thinking about signing it.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, “That is some serious shit.”

I knew that, but it didn’t change how I felt.

“So, tell me again,” Jody said, “What happened when he saw your nipples for the first time?”

I groaned.

She laughed harder than I’d consider appropriate.

“Come on,” she said, “I get it. You want him to see them more.”

“It’s not always about the nipples, Jody,” I laughed.

“It’s not?” she asked, feigning confusion, “I thought we were all humanoid nipples.”

This bitch.

I couldn’t help it. I laughed harder.

“Stop,” I laughed so hard that my eyes were watering.

“If we were nipples,” she asked, “Where would we pierce ourselves?”

I grabbed her sides, about an inch under her armpits, and I poked her hard.

“Right there,” I said, pushing harder with my fingers.

She squealed before her body hit the floor.

We both were rolling on the floor, laughing.

Well, I wish it was just the floor.

It was her idea to run this trail, so technically, we were rolling around in the dirt.

The laughter stopped when Jody’s phone went off.

The ring wasn’t one of her usual pop songs.

“Who is it?” I asked.

She sat up quickly and pressed the accept button before bringing the phone to her ear.

“Hello.”

She glanced over at me.

“She is right here with me,” Jody stated.

I felt my body shaking.

Who was it? What did they want?

Why were they asking about me?

“Okay,” she said, “You need us there now?”

I looked down at my dirt-covered workout pants.

“Okay,” she said, “We can be there in twenty-five minutes.”

She hung up, and her face couldn’t hide her worry.

“What is it?” I asked.

“It was Baird,” she said.

“Baird?” I asked, “What did he want?”

“He said that he tried to call you, but it wasn’t getting through,” she said.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket, and I pressed the power button.

It didn’t turn on.

Damn it.

“Did he say what he wanted?” I asked.

She stood up, “We need to go.”

I frowned, “Go where? Why?”

“Shay,” she said, “We need to go, now.”

There was no trace of humor in her voice, and that only freaked me out more.

“Not until you talk to me,” I said, “What the hell happened?”

“Shay, please,” she said, “Don’t fight me on this. Just get up, and let’s go.”

“Jody,” I said, “If it's something serious, you need to tell me.”

She opened her mouth to say something but shut it.

“Fuck,” she said, “Baird said that Noah had a seizure, and he didn’t want me to worry you by telling you.”

I didn’t even feel myself stand up, but I did.

“Shay?” Jody asked.

I turned around, and I ran to the car faster than I had ever run in my entire life.

The pain I felt earlier didn’t exist.

Right now, the only thing that mattered was getting to Noah.

[aroselane]

The Devil in Me Ch. 22

Chapter Twenty-Two:

This chapter contains mature content. 

Noah:

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

It wasn’t normal to ache this badly.

I was so hard that it was painful. I could barely think straight anymore.

Her asking all those questions didn’t help, but they made it a little easier to focus.

Her head in my neck still worried me.

What if she looked?

My hand was already gripping before I could think about it.

She was right here.

My mate.

I could touch her.

I could smell her.

I wanted to taste her.

I groaned at the thought.

“Noah,” she whispered into my neck.

I shivered.

“How would you imagine it?” I asked, “If our roles were reversed?”

“If I was a Devil?” she asked, “Or I walked in on you about to masturbate?”

I tried to keep my hand still, but slowly I brought my hand up.

“If you walked in on me.”

“Hmm,” she hummed, “Are you naked?”

My hand came back down.

“Would you prefer it if I was?” I asked.

“No,” she said, “I’d like to see you with your shirt pulled up to show off your stomach and tight boxer shorts pushed down.”

“Well,” I said, “One out of two.”

“Why only one out of two?” she asked playfully.

“I’m not wearing a shirt,” I stated.

I could feel it every time her body shook. It felt good.

It felt good to have that kind of effect on her.

“I can feel that,” she stated.

Her nails raked across my chest.

I moaned long, feeling her nails go from my sternum all the way to my shoulders.

I wanted her hands to venture lower. I wanted her to feel me there too.

Her face nestled more into my neck.

“Are you alright?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said.

Her hot breath against my neck made me feel a little dizzy.

“Are you alright?” she asked.

I wasn’t, but I would be soon.

My hand hasn’t stopped since I started.

“Does it feel different with me here?” she asked.

“It does,” I admitted.

My grip was tighter than usual. I needed to keep my head here.

“A good different?”

I nodded, trying not to let any sounds out.

I felt her hand make its way up my shoulder, to my neck, then to my hair.

There wasn’t even time to process what she was doing. Her nails gently raked my scalp.

Fuck.

I moaned louder than I ever wanted to.

If it felt this good just being next to her, I could only imagine how it felt being with her.

I could feel it, slowly building in my gut.

I gasped when I felt her lips on my neck.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Helping,” she breathed against my neck.

Fuck, she isn’t wrong, though.

She let out a sound, and my vision blurred.

“Shay,” I gasped.

I was starting to panic.

I felt a change coming on.

My eyes were already different. My tongue was split too.

My teeth are already starting to elongate.

I just prayed that my nails didn’t grow, not while I was like this.

My entire body froze, and not even a second later, I heard his voice.

“Noah,” Baird said, “I know it is unnecessary to ask, but what on earth do you think you are doing?”

“Shit,” Shay whispered into my neck.

“Out of respect for Shay,” Baird stated, “I am using audio-only, but I am about to switch to video.”

“She’s covered,” I said.

“Your numbers say otherwise,” Baird said.

I could hear the disapproval in his tone.

“Well, the numbers aren’t lying,” I stated, “I’m flying solo here.”

I heard the click of the camera turning on.

“You know better,” he said, “You are changing.”

Even though Baird was here, I couldn’t handle the pain.

My hand slowly started to stroke again.

“Noah,” Baird said, “I told you to behave yourself.”

“You also told me to sleep,” I stated, “But something got in the way of that.”

“I can see that,” he sighed.

“Just a few more minutes,” I said, “Then I’ll be done.”

“Yes, well,” Baird cleared his throat, “If that had worked before, I would not have had to call Shay here in the first place.”

I wasn’t sure how I knew it, but I knew I would be able to sleep just fine once this was taken care of.

“We’re following your rules,” I stated, “Please, just give me a minute.”

“Is my presence, perhaps, bothering you?” Baird asked.

I could hear the small smile on his face.

“Just a bit,” I said.

“I see Shay is keeping her eyes down,” Baird sighed, “I am still very not okay with this.”

“I can’t help how my body reacts,” I stated.

The more we talked, the more I felt my teeth coming out.

“Noah,” Baird whispered, “Finish it, then sleep.”

I nodded.

“This will not happen a second time,” Baird said sternly.

Shit.

The camera clicked off.

My body couldn’t handle it anymore. I stroked faster.

I couldn’t see straight. I was afraid that even though Baird said that I would be too tired to change and hurt Shay, that I still might.

I ached to bury myself deep inside of her. I didn’t even think about how or where, just warm inside her.

Home.

I groaned.

Her presence at my back now only made me worry.

I couldn’t think. I needed to move a little away from her.

I forced myself forward, and my eyes kept failing to adjust.

“Noah,” Shay said.

Stay back.

I couldn’t get the words out.

My jaw clenched so tight. I had to keep my teeth away from her.

The bed moved, and I just remember seeing my legs blur.

Shay:

Noah startled me when he moved away from me.

A small part of me thought he would turn over and come right for me, but he didn’t.

He sat at the end of the bed, and he leaned over.

“Noah?” I asked.

I watched his shoulders rise and fall with his breathing.

I moved forward a little to touch his back.

I couldn’t quite make out what he said, if it was anything at all. Maybe a noise.

He turned slowly until he was partially off the bed and facing me.

I was paralyzed as his eyes locked with mine.

It seemed different than before.

“N-Noah,” I gasped.

His eyes looked brighter lilac, and darker gray.

“Mate.”

It came out as a growl.

I shivered.

I held my hand up in hopes of keeping him back.

He said so himself that this was a dangerous situation to be in.

He said explicitly not to be in front of him.

What was he going to do?

His hand hit the mattress, and then the other one did.

Oh shit.

His eyes were glued to mine as he slowly crawled closer to me.

“No,” I breathed, “Noah.”

“Mine,” he said it just barely so I could hear it.

His jaw tensed, and it looked like he was trying to keep his mouth shut tight.

There must be something wrong with me.

Despite the fear, I knew that Noah would never hurt me on purpose.

“Yours,” I leaned forward to press my lips to his.

He growled.

His lips didn’t move. His jaw only clenched again.

He kept moving until I was flat on my back and he was over me.

This should not be happening.

I felt myself trembling the closer he got to me, and it only got worse.

Once he was covering me, he pressed his weight down on me.

His hands moved my legs up and apart so that he could fit between them.

This shouldn’t be as exciting and as terrifying as it is.

I could feel his desire pressed against me.

“Noah,” I whimpered.

For as much as I wanted to be with him, I didn’t want him to hurt me.

I prayed silently as his head came closer.

He buried his head in my neck.

“Noah,” I could hear the trembling in my voice.

His hand came up to touch my neck. His thumb caressed my cheek and jaw lightly.

“I won’t hurt you,” Noah whispered.

The heat from his words only made the trembling in my limbs increase.

The look in his eyes a minute ago said otherwise. He looked like a predator.

My brain needed to leave the dirty thoughts behind.

I was not in any position to be enjoying this.

“You said it wasn’t safe,” I whispered, “To be in front of you.”

His gentle hand pressed a little harder against my jaw.

“It’s not,” he sounded strained, “I want you.”

I don’t know if it was a reflex or some part of me just really felt like doing something stupid. My back arched, and I felt him shake as I made contact with the part of his body I’m trying my best to avoid thinking about.

A small gasp escaped his lips.

He pressed his face closer to my neck so that I could feel his lips and his nose against my skin.

“Please,” he whimpered, “Touch me.”

Touch him? Touch him where?

I stared up at the white ceiling while I tried to process his words.

“What?” I asked.

His thumb went up my cheek a little rougher than before.

“Touch me,” he gasped.

I wasn’t sure if it was on purpose or not, but he ground his hips against me as he said that.

How exactly was I supposed to touch him right now? This position isn’t exactly ideal.

“How,” I asked.

His hand left my neck. I felt him push down on the mattress next to my head to pick himself up.

His face was over mine, but only for a second.

My eyes shut, not sure what to expect. Was he going to kiss me again?

I felt his cheek against mine.

This felt strange, but I liked it.

He is warm. He is like no guy I’ve ever been with before.

Not even counting the fact that he is a Devil.

The hand not near my head grabbed my hand.

Once I figured out where he was trying to guide me, I freaked out a little.

He was too strong for me to pull my hand away.

“Noah,” I gasped, “What are you doing?”

He didn’t say anything. He only gasped once my hand made contact with his engorged organ.

It was scorching.

He guided my hand to tighten around him before slowly stroking.

My body trembled.

His hand left mine to hold himself up.

He groaned again before I felt him thrust into my hand.

My insides tightened painfully. My body was aware of his actions, and the ache only got worse.

His breath was hot against the side of my face.

A growl erupted from him as he moved himself a little faster into my palm.

“Noah,” I breathed

He moaned long against my cheek.

It didn’t take much longer before he stilled on top of me.

Did he finish?

I didn’t have the chance to ask.

“Harder,” he growled.

“H-Harder?” I stuttered.

He nodded quickly, and I tightened my grip around him.

He gasped just before resuming his thrusting.

My body could only tremble in response.

Each time his hips moved forward, I felt it between my legs.

Not just because of how hard he pressed against me.

A small whimper escaped my lips.

He stopped again.

I turned my head just slightly so that I could look at him.

He gently rubbed the side of my face with his nose.

I didn’t think it was possible to ache this badly.

I wanted him.

Right now, I needed him.

More than anything, I wanted to tell him that.

I knew better than to say those words out loud.

“Why did you stop?” I asked.

What was wrong with my voice?

He took in a shaky breath.

I don’t know how I kept forgetting how hard he is trying to stay in control.

He is a lot stronger than I am.

“Noah?”

He pushed himself up a bit, and he looked down at where our bodies touched.

I tried to follow his gaze, but his hand was quick to catch my face.

It felt like hours since I last locked eyes with him.

It slipped my mind that he didn’t want me to see it.

His hand was firm, gripping my chin.

His changed eyes stared back at me, searching my face for an answer to a question I had yet to be asked.

I felt his grip loosen, and his forehead rested on mine.

I wanted to ask him if he was alright.

His hands gripping my hips made me lose my focus.

I felt feverish.

My other hand felt useless as I tried to figure out what to do with it.

As if on instinct, my free hand went to the back of Noah’s neck.

His eyes shut slowly, and he furrowed his brows.

“Noah,” I whispered.

His expression changed as if he was experiencing pain.

My mouth opened to ask him if he was alright, but the words evaporated when I felt his hands on my bare skin.

He slipped his hands up my shirt just a little before going down into the sweat pants and under my shorts to grip my hips tightly.

I let out a moan when his fingertips pressed hard into my skin.

He moved my hips forward before I felt him start to move again.

I gasped, feeling how roughly he thrust into my hand, not only giving himself pleasure but because of how hard he moved against me, I felt it between my legs.

The friction alone could get me off.

It felt like he knew that I needed this too.

It didn’t take much longer before I felt a familiar sensation building in my gut.

I moaned, feeling his fingers bite into my sensitive skin.

I wasn’t expecting an orgasm to hit me that hard or that quickly.

My body shook, and I felt him shudder above me.

A calm washed over me until he forced his shirt over my head.

Noah:

I felt warm.

Too warm, maybe.

I felt satisfied, and at the same time, I felt like I needed something more.

More of what?

It was hard to open my eyes, but the second I registered the beating of another person's heart, my eyes shot open.

I felt her before I saw her.

Shay laid underneath me, missing the clothes I had her put on. My clothes.

My jaw ached a bit when I thought about talking.

Fortunately, she was asleep.

What happened?

My head throbbed when I tried to remember.

It was like a blur.

I recall moving away from her, but I couldn’t see straight.

Now here we are.

What did I do?

Did I hurt her?

I concentrated on her scent. I don’t smell any blood.

Several other scents hit me.

One I would certainly recognize because it was mine.

Well, it was from me, at least.

The other one, I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

I had to get off of her before I reacted again.

Her scent wrapped around me, and for a little while, I knew that I would be alright.

Whatever happened helped me regain some self-control.

I glanced down at my body, and shame filled me.

I was quick to get off the bed and pull some pants on.

Why was I naked?

Why was she wearing what she came here in?

I had her put my clothes on because I couldn’t look at her without nearly losing my shit.

My gaze lingered on her as she continued to sleep.

I felt a tightening in my chest the longer I stared at her.

I wanted to curl up next to her and wrap my arms around her.

I wanted to bury my face in her neck.

My body was moving despite my head telling me to stop.

I didn’t stop until she was firmly in my arms.

A small satisfied sigh left me once I found a comfortable position with her.

I wanted to wake up like this every day.

Minus the naked panic.

She let out a small sound causing my body to shudder.

“Hmm,” she hummed, “Noah?”

I leaned back a little to gently place my hand on her cheek.

“Yes,” I breathed.

Her eyes opened tiredly.

My thumb gently caressed her face while she tried to keep them open.

“How did you sleep?” she asked.

Her eyes gave up and shut again.

I hadn’t even had the chance to think about that, but I felt phenomenal.

“Better than I have in a very long time,” I admitted.

She grinned despite the tiredness.

“I’m glad,” she said.

I wanted to ask her what happened, but I was afraid.

“Are you,” I hesitated, “Are you alright?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” she asked.

Her eyes opened in time to see the worry on my face.

She made a face.

“Are you alright?”

My mouth opened, but the words didn’t come out.

She moved back a little to look over me and then herself.

What was she looking for?

“Shay?”

Her eyes locked with mine.

My body trembled.

I didn’t remember much of anything, but I faintly remember her shivering under me.

Then a flash.

I wasn’t sure if it was my imagination or not, but her head rolled back, and her mouth hung open as if she was experiencing an orgasm.

Did she?

Was my mind playing tricks on me?

I felt shame that I couldn’t remember for sure. If that did happen, I wanted it seared into my memory.

I want to remember the first time she shudders in pleasure because of me.

I want to remember every detail of her, every sound.

Like, how much her back arches and if her toes curl while she rides the waves of her orgasm.

I groaned at the thought.

Shay sat up and just continued to stare at me.

Why wasn’t she saying anything?

“What is it?” she asked slowly, “What’s wrong?”

Fucking hell.

Was I usually this transparent?

I didn’t want to lie to her, but I was afraid of how she’ll feel about it.

I’d be hurt if she didn’t remember this.

I don’t even know where to start.

I know that I blacked out.

The worry was clear in her eyes.

“I don’t…” The sound of the speaker cut me off.

“Good afternoon,” Baird greeted, “I hope you both slept well.”

Her eyes didn’t leave mine.

“Yes,” I said.

I couldn’t look her in the eye.

My body moved to a sitting position beside her.

I was angry at myself.

“How about you, Shay?” Baird asked.

Her head rested on my shoulder, “I don’t have any complaints.”

My eyes shut at her words.

“I have to ask you this, Noah,” Baird stated, “How much did you change once I left?”

I already know that he had the numbers.

“My teeth,” I stated.

There was a short silence.

“Is that all?” Baird asked.

I shook my head slowly.

“My eyes lost focus,” I admitted.

“Did you black out again?” Baird asked.

I trembled the second the words left his mouth.

Again.

I forgot what happened the last time.

My body leaned forward, and my hands covered my face.

“I see,” Baird said.

I could hear it in his voice. He was disappointed.

“You blacked out?” Shay asked.

Her hand went over my back soothingly.

It wasn’t fair for me to find comfort in her.

I was greedy because I didn’t once move away or try to stop her.

“Shay,” Baird asked, “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” she said firmly, “Why do both of you keep asking me that?”

“We’re both worried that I could have hurt you,” I said, “Because I really could have.”

“I know that,” she said, “But if I were hurt, I would let you know.”

“Would you?” Baird asked, “I hope that both of you remembered that I do, in fact, have access to both of your vitals.”

I knew that. I lived with that every single fucking day.

I glanced over at Shay, and she looked worried.

Why was she making that face?

I guess if I wasn’t used to Baird giving my life zero privacy. I just might make a similar face.

“Shay,” Baird said, “Would you like to tell me what happened?”

“Baird,” I growled.

“I would ask you, Noah,” he stated simply, “But it has already been established that you blacked out.”

She looked like she was thinking about what to say, but a seriousness took over her expression.

“Noah got off and went to sleep,” she said, “What more do you need to know?”

“Shay,” Baird said patiently, “Is that all?”

“It’s all that is relevant,” she stated.

He sighed.

“The two of you are giving me gray hair.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“Noah,” Shay nudged me as a warning.

“Shay, I hate to say it as crudely as I am about to,” Baird stated, “But when Noah blacks out, he does not remember the things he has done.”

I felt her gaze heavy on me.

“Both of you experienced the little death,” he stated, “I am only trying to figure out if there was intercourse or not.”

My head snapped to the side to look at her.

It wasn’t just in my head.

She really did, didn’t she?

Her face burned crimson.

This need to protect her overwhelmed me. Baird had no right to make her make that kind of face.

She looked a little hurt and embarrassed.

The growl that left me rattled in my chest.

“Noah, do you have any idea what you could have done?” Baird scolded.

I knew, but I can’t control myself around her.

Everything in me screamed to claim her, but also to protect her.

Does that mean I need to protect her from me?

My chest tightened at the thought.

“I think I have bits and pieces,” I admitted, “But there was no sex. Baird, I swear.”

“Your need to claim your mate is strong, Noah, I can see that.” He said, “But this is a matter of safety for her. Believe it or not, but this is about protecting you too.”

“You already know I don’t give a fuck about myself,” I said despite how awful it sounded.

Shay slapped my back quickly.

I was more shocked than hurt.

“But we do,” she hissed, “You asshole.”

It bothered me more so that it hurt her than her actual words.

“You have to take care of yourself before you worry about others,” she said.

It felt strange to hear those words leave her mouth.

I knew she didn’t put herself first.

I didn’t want to fight her.

“Okay,” I whispered so that only she could hear me, “But when it comes to you, I will always put you before myself.”

It was more than an instinct that much I knew.

It felt right, and it felt good.

“You really don’t remember what happened earlier?” she asked.

Guilt sat heavily in my gut as I shook my head.

A small frown formed on her face.

My hands went to her face, and my thumbs gently lifted the sides of her lips.

I didn’t want to see her upset.

“Shay,” Baird said, “I think that it is time for you to go.”

“Just a little bit longer,” I pleaded.

Her eyes shut, and her eyebrows furrowed.

“Shay,” I whispered.

She took in a shaky breath.

No, no, no, please don’t cry.

Her hands came up to cover mine.

She sniffled, and I could see the trembling of her lips.

I didn’t hesitate to press my mouth lightly to hers, and then I placed soft kisses across her face.

“You have until I get to your room,” Baird stated, “Fifteen minutes. No more, no less.”

I nodded quickly, still trying to comfort Shay.

“Thank you,” I said.

She tried to calm down, but it only resulted in her taking in short breaths that only made it worse.

“Forgive me,” I pleaded, “I wish more than anything that I could remember everything, but I can’t.”

She shook her head slowly in my hands, “I get that you can’t help that.”

I leaned in to rest my forehead on hers.

“It’s what you said,” she sniffled, “I don’t deserve to be first.”

I wanted to growl at her for saying such a thing.

My head just shook as I heard her words over and over again in my head.

“That choice is mine,” I said firmly, “Just like you are mine.”

She trembled at my words.

I didn’t want to sound like one of those guys that claim a woman like property. She wasn’t mine like that.

She nodded, “Yours.”

I still didn’t get how she felt the ways she did so quickly.

Humans were always slower to the connection.

“And you are mine,” she said.

I nodded, brushing my nose slightly against hers.

“Mine,” she said again.

“Only yours,” I confirmed.

She closed the small distance between us to connect her lips to mine again.

It was a short, sweet kiss, but I felt all of the emotion behind it.

My heart felt full.

“I wish I didn’t have to go,” she whimpered.

My grip on her face tightened.

“I wish we could have done it differently earlier,” she admitted.

I kissed her gently again.

“Does it always hurt you that badly?” she asked.

I moved back a little to look at her.

“Does what hurt?” I asked, a little unsure of what she meant.

Her eyes darted down quickly, and I knew what she was referring to.

“Oh,” I said a little awkwardly, “What do you mean?”

“I talked to Jody a bit about it,” she glanced to the side, “She said that Delaney said it hurts more if it was because of your mate.”

She was asking about how badly my dick hurts because of her?

I hummed, slightly pleased.

“Oh baby,” I growled, “The pain is nothing compared to the pleasure you gave me.”

She trembled.

“It was painful for me, too,” she breathed, “It felt like you knew.”

It was possible that I could, but I don’t remember that part.

“I’m glad I wasn’t the only one,” I said, “Was it the friction?”

Her eyes met mine, and the blush across her face warmed my hands.

I groaned.

Baird would be here any minute.

The things I wanted to do to my mate.

“Next time,” she leaned in to press her lips to my cheek, but she didn’t kiss me, “I want you to touch me.”

If it weren’t for my teeth, I’d do much more than just touch her.

Her hot breath and her words made me react.

I turned my head, and I gripped her chin.

“Noah,” she gasped.

I took in a deep breath before I exhaled against her cheek.

It was stupid of me to do it, but I didn’t care.

My tongue was already split, but it didn’t stop me from licking from her jaw to just under her eye.

She let out a small moan.

The need to claim her again ran through me.

“Home,” I murmured.

“What?” Shay asked.

I froze.

Did I really just say that out loud?

The light knock on the door pulled my attention away from Shay.

“It is time, Shay,” Baird said.

She moved around me to get off the bed.

It felt like time slowed down as I watched her gather her things.

I didn’t want her to go.

I didn’t want to make things harder for her either, by begging her to stay.

It wasn’t like she could even if we both wanted her to anyway.

She was completely dressed, and her shoes were on.

I watched her glance at the door really fast before she opened my top drawer.

What is she doing?

“Shay?” I asked.

She pulled out one of my long sleeve white thermals.

“Can I take this?” she asked.

I didn’t hesitate to nod.

She pulled the white tank top she wore off before tossing it to me.

I held on to that fabric like it was a lifeline.

She put my shirt on over her head before pulling her purse over her shoulder.

My gaze lingered on her as she opened the door but froze.

Baird stood there looking in.

She moved back to take my face into her hands and kissed me hard.

She pulled back just a little before kissing me a second time.

“Until next time then,” she breathed.

I nodded quickly, watching her leave.

My limbs told me to run after her and not let her go.

I couldn’t do that.

When I couldn’t hear them anymore, I laid back.

I really said it out loud, didn’t I?

My eyes shut tightly.

It was too soon for that.

It was too soon to consider her as my home.

I couldn’t help it.

I felt wretched the second she wasn’t near me.

How was I supposed to know the next time I would get to see her, let alone touch her?

I hate it.

I hated how I reacted, knowing she was gone.

Silent sobs followed the stinging of my eyes.

-

-

Song to listen to while reading the third P.O.V

Madilyn Bailey - Dusk Till Dawn

I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Thank you for reading <3

[aroselane]

The Devil in Me Ch. 21

Chapter Twenty-One:

Mature content warning.

Noah:

I had her right where I wanted her.

My mate.

Mine.

I rubbed my nose gently against hers.

Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.

It was all I could hear in my head.

“Mine,” she gasped.

Words couldn’t express how badly I wanted her.

Her body was hot against me, and it didn’t help.

I felt my fingers dig into her hip.

A small noise escaped her mouth.

I finally opened my eyes to see her staring back at me.

I couldn’t explain it, but I had to.

This tugging sensation inside of me was to blame for what I was about to do.

I moved forward just a little to press my lips softly to hers.

She gasped when my lips touched hers.

Her skin was hot, and I wanted more than anything to connect myself permanently to her.

She didn’t kiss me back right away. Her mouth was open just a little before she gently reciprocated.

I couldn’t explain the noise that erupted from me.

It sounded like a cross between a moan and a growl.

She moved back quickly, and it startled me.

Did I scare her?

“Are you alright?” she asked.

Why was I so surprised by her response?

“I’m okay,” I said, “Well, for the most part.”

She smiled warmly at me.

“I was worried that I might have done something,” she said, “That wasn’t good.”

She was still a lot closer than was ordinarily okay, but I didn’t care.

“It was good,” I stated, “That much I can promise you.”

“Yeah?” she asked.

I nodded.

My eyes kept glancing back down to her lips.

I wanted more, but was it really okay to ask for it?

“Noah,” she whispered.

“Shay,” I said back just as quietly.

“You should try to sleep,” she said.

“I know,” I said, “But I want you.”

I felt her shiver against me.

“We both know that I’m not here for that.”

I knew that, but I still felt the way I did.

Only one question was really on my mind right now.

“Shay?”

“Hmm.”

If I was human, I might have barely heard her.

“Did you sign the papers?” I asked, “For the special program?”

Her eyes met mine quickly, and she just slightly shook her head.

I was a little disappointed, actually.

“Oh,” I said slowly, “Any particular reason why?”

I didn’t want to sound as desperate as I felt right now.

She frowned.

“I didn’t mean for it to sound like that,” I mumbled.

“No, I get that,” she said, “It just scared me a little.”

The program scared her?

“Well, not really the idea of you and me doing naughty things,” she grinned at me, her cheeks burned red.

“Then, what was it?”

“There was a section that said we had to come in whenever they called,” she said, “To test your limitations.”

To test our limitations?

“Wait,” I said, “To see what sets us off?”

She nodded.

I guess I can see why that scared her.

“And I don’t particularly like that we would have no privacy,” she admitted.

“But you’re fine right now?” I asked, “Even though I might change?”

Her hand came up slowly to touch my cheek and then down to the side of my neck.

I groaned.

Her touch was hot, and it only made me want her more.

How long has it been since I’ve felt heat like this?

Her hand came up again to run her knuckles gently across my jaw.

“I’m enjoying this time with you,” she said, “Probably more than I should.”

“You say that,” I stated, “But I might just be enjoying myself a little more than you are.”

It was true, now that I felt that familiar ache in the last place I wanted it to be.

Her face looked surprised.

Fuck, I think she feels it.

Her eyes darted down quickly.

Fuck.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured.

I was surprised when she moved in to press her lips to mine again.

This was a horrible idea.

“Shay,” I groaned against her open mouth.

“Noah,” she said back.

Her tongue went up my lips, and I think I was about to lose my mind.

“Please,” I said, feeling myself shake, “This is not a good idea.”

I had to keep what little sanity I had left.

“You want me to stop?” she purred.

Fuck me.

My lips roughly connected with hers, and she let out the most delightful sound.

My mouth opened, not hesitating for a second to taste her.

No, my mind was getting fuzzy.

Her tongue made contact with mine, and I moaned into her.

Her nails gently scratched the back of my neck, and I found my lower half grinding gently against her.

She pulled back a little to stare at me, and I could see just how much of an effect I had on her.

She really is something else.

I saw her bottom lip pop out a little, and right away, I recognized the expression.

She was pouting.

I fucking loved it.

I suppressed a groan as my fingers dug deeper into her hip.

She gasped.

“Why does everything have to be so damn complicated?” she asked.

I knew what she meant.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

She was quick to shake her head, “None of this is your fault.”

Of course, I knew that, but she wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the reaction I had to her.

How have I existed this long before her?

It felt strange to think about it.

I needed to change my position. She is too warm, and this erection wasn’t making anything easier.

“I need to move,” I stated.

“Oh,” she said, then her expression changed, “Oh, okay.”

She looked like she just realized why.

I hated every second of her detaching herself from me.

When she was far enough away, I rolled onto my back.

I groaned as I pushed myself up a little to hide the tented blanket.

She grinned wickedly at me.

“Please don’t,” I said.

“Am I not supposed to like that I can turn you on?” she asked.

“Was it even a secret?” I asked.

“Do you want to know a secret?” she asked.

I felt myself shiver.

I had a pretty good idea what she was about to say.

“Yes,” I breathed.

“You turn me on too,” she whispered.

My entire body felt her words, and the prickling sensation came back tenfold.

I took in a deep breath, “That really doesn’t help.”

“I know,” she admitted, “But I can’t help myself.”

She laid on her side next to me and rested her head on her hand.

I wished that we could do more.

I wanted to do more.

“We should probably go back to the first position we were in,” she stated, “To limit how much we can actually touch each other.”

I didn’t want to think about that, but she was right.

I nodded slowly as I sat up.

She got to her knees, and I couldn’t look away from her.

Her hands came up, “No.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I know,” I said, “I can still look, though, can’t I?”

I could see the flush of her cheeks.

“I guess,” she said, “But looking can still make things hard.”

“You’re telling me,” I said playfully.

She frowned at my words.

Too soon?

“Just move forward a bit,” she said, pushing me.

I scooted closer to the foot of the bed so she could find her place behind me.

I forced myself not to look at her as she moved the pillows around.

The thought of being nestled between her thighs needed to vacate my mind.

This needed to go away, and I was scared that it wouldn’t.

“Okay,” she said, “Lie back.”

I shivered at her words.

 Shay:

It took a minute to get comfortable again in my corner.

I’m calling it my corner. I didn’t care.

“Okay,” I said, “Lie back.”

I waited for him to move back, but he didn’t.

“Noah?” I asked.

He looked like he was shivering.

Shit.

I was worried that this might happen.

I really fucked up, didn’t I?

My hand went to his shoulder, and then my other hand did the same with the other shoulder.

“Are you alright?” I asked.

I completely abandoned my corner to kneel behind him.

“I don’t know,” he admitted.

I was worried, now more than I was a few seconds ago.

“Sorry,” he said, “I might need to leave for a bit.”

I wasn’t sure what to make of that.

“Why would you need to…” as I was asking the question, the answer came to me.

He was very obviously erect.

My hands gently rubbed his shoulders, “If that’s what you think you should do.”

“I don’t want to leave you here,” he said, “I’m not even sure if I can.”

“Would Baird scold you again?” I asked.

He shook his head quickly, “No, this isn’t about him.”

“Then what is it?”

“I don’t know if I can physically leave you here,” he said, “Alone.”

I suppose I understood what he meant by that, but then again, I was never sure when it came to him and Devils.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Even thinking about leaving you,” he took in a large breath, “The thought alone is filling me with anxiety.”

“Oh,” I said.

He was worried about me.

Baird’s words lingered in my mind.

‘No matter how tired he is, his first instinct is to keep anyone and everything away from you.’

It was still strange to think that someone would want me this badly.

It was strange, and yet I couldn’t help but reciprocate those feelings.

I wanted to be near him. I wanted to feel him.

I wanted everything I could get from him.

My brain must have gone full smut because what I just thought was not okay right now.

“Noah,” I whispered.

His head went to the side, and a small groan left him.

“Would it be easier if I stayed here, like this,” I said, “While you…”

“No,” he said quickly, “No.”

I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me.

“If it will help,” I said, “Is it really such a bad idea?”

“I don’t know what will happen,” he said, “With you being so close.”

“I’m sure that we can figure something out,” I stated.

Why was I pushing for this?

“What if I hurt you?” he gasped.

“You won’t,” I said.

Was I really sure about that?

“Shay,” he said, “I think you’re being far too optimistic about this.”

“Maybe,” I said.

I had some weird faith that he wouldn’t. I wasn’t sure why or how.

I moved closer to press my body against his back.

He took in an uneven breath.

“Is this…” he mumbled, “Is this something you want?”

Something I want?

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Do you want to be here,” he paused, “While I do that?”

Oh, he was actually considering it?

Oh shit.

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t,” I said into his ear.

He took in a sharp breath.

“Shay.”

“Noah,” I said as I touched my nose lightly to his neck.

“What about you?” he asked.

“What about me?”

He cleared his throat, “You said that you felt it too.”

I absolutely did. Only my issue wasn’t something that would cause a problem right now.

“I’ll be okay,” I said, “I’m more worried about you.”

A small sound came from him.

It sounded a little like a growl.

“Noah?”

“Fuck,” he hissed.

“Did the camera turn on again?” I asked.

“No,” he said so quietly that I barely even heard him.

“Then what is it?” I asked.

He turned his head just a little so that he could see me with his peripheral vision.

“You say not to worry about you,” he said, “But all I can think about is ripping my sweat pants off of you and…”

“Okay,” I gasped, “Let’s not finish that sentence.”

“Has a man never told you how badly he wants to eat you out before?” he asked.

How did his voice sound so husky? It was different than usual. Deeper, sexier.

It also proceeded to make my body ache.

“No,” I admitted.

“Boys,” Noah chuckled, “When the time comes, you will too.”

I didn’t like this sexy talk.

Well, I did, but not when I couldn’t do anything about it.

“Noah,” I murmured, “Please.”

“I wish that things were different too,” he said.

Huh?

“I already hate what I am,” he confessed, “Being here with you only makes me hate it even more.”

“We wouldn’t be together now if you weren’t what you are.”

“How do you know for sure?” he asked.

“I don’t,” I stated, “But would we feel like this if things were different?”

He was silent for a minute.

“It’s hard to know for sure,” he admitted, “But I still hate this.”

“So do I,” I stated, “But we’re together now, like this.”

He hung his head.

I linked my arms around him and rested my chin on his shoulder.

“I do wonder how you feel when I’m so close to you,” I whispered, “I’m curious to know just where it touches and if the pain feels good.”

His hand came up, but he froze before dropping it again.

“It does sometimes.”

“What?” I asked.

“The pain,” he admitted, “Sometimes it feels good.”

“When does it feel good?”

“Right now,” he said.

“How?”

His hand came back up to touch my hands linked around him.

“Despite the obvious,” he said, “The feel of your skin does something to me.”

I quivered at his words.

“It relieves the constant prickling I feel whenever you’re nearby,” he said, “It's like feeling warmth after being cold for so long.”

It was weird hearing him say that.

“Then, when I think about feeling that warmth,” he hung his head again, “I wonder what it’s like to be inside of you.”

My body couldn’t handle this anymore.

I already wanted this boy. Talking like this felt like torture.

I buried my face in the crook of his neck.

“I imagine there is a fire inside of you,” he said.

I felt his words against my cheek.

Even the sound of his voice was different.

“I imagine that you are so warm,” he groaned, “That when I’m deep inside, I melt into you.”

Where had this boy been all my life?

I pressed my lips to his neck, and he let out a small groan.

I liked the idea of him melting into me, maybe a little too much.

“Hmm,” I hummed, “Would you really melt?”

He grunted in confirmation, “Melting would be the least of my worries.”

“Melting doesn’t sound too bad,” I murmured.

I brought my left hand up to tug lightly at his ear while I hummed against the other side of his neck.

“If I don’t melt,” he took in a shallow breath, “I would devour you.”

I think I let out a sound, because he groaned.

I’d like very much for him to do just that.

I wish I didn’t see mental images in my head of him doing the devouring.

“I’m torn,” he said.

“Torn?” I asked, “Why?”

“I want to,” he said, “But I also don’t, because it’s a little embarrassing.”

“You don’t want me to hear you?” I asked.

“I don’t want it to just be me,” he said, “But you doing it might be too much for me to handle.”

“I get that,” I said, “But if this doesn’t go away, would you be able to sleep?”

“Probably not,” he admitted, “But it feels wrong to only take care of myself.”

“Believe me,” I said, “It’s not wrong.”

It felt weird to think it, but I believed that I would feel a bit of pleasure from seeing him.

“What do you need me to do?” I asked.

“I’m not sure,” he said, “Just try to not be in front of me.”

“I think I can manage that.”

“Maybe limit how much you touch me,” he stated.

“Am I touching you too much already?”

I was pressed pretty firmly against his back.

I was on my knees with my face buried in the side of his neck, and one hand is partially around his waist while the other gently touches his ear and the other side of his neck.

“I don’t know,” he admitted.

“What if I moved a little?” I asked.

He turned his head slightly so that he could see what I was doing.

I sat down behind him and put my legs on either side of him.

“Shay,” he mumbled.

“A little touching wouldn’t be too bad?” I asked, “Right?”

I looked down at the bottom of his shirt, and I didn’t hesitate to lift it and slip my hands underneath.

He gasped.

My hands gently went up his back.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

My hands went up his sides, and I could feel his muscles twitch as my hands went over his bare skin.

His skin was hot, and it felt good. I wanted to touch him more.

“Shay,” his hands came up to stop mine.

I pressed my face into his back, “Is something wrong?”

“No,” he said, “It’s just not helping.”

“Are you saying you want me to help?” I asked.

I felt him start to shake, “I would.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but he spoke first.

“But,” he said quickly, “This isn’t the right time for that.”

“Do you want me to sign the papers?” I asked, “For the special program?”

“Part of me does,” he admitted, “But I don’t like the idea of putting you in danger for me to feel pleasure.”

“Like right now?” I asked.

“No,” he said, “Right now is very different.”

I dug my nails gently into his sides.

He let out a whimper.

“But like this,” I said, “I’m in danger, but still making you feel good.”

“Shay,” he whispered, “I don’t think I can hold it in much longer.”

“Then don’t,” I said softly.

“Will you…” he stopped.

“Will I,” I said, “Will I what?”

He cleared his throat, “Will you keep touching me?”

“Am I allowed to?” I asked, “I thought you said I shouldn’t.”

His hand came up and pulled at his shirt from the back of his neck, and he pulled the shirt completely off.

This boy, I swear.

“Just make sure that you stay behind me,” he said, “I don’t know what I’ll do if you’re in front of me.”

My body moved before I could even think about it.

My hands went around him and pulled him back towards me.

“Shay,” he whimpered.

“You didn’t say anything about this position,” I stated.

It made sense to me. As long as I wasn’t in front of him, this should be okay.

“Lean back all the way,” I said.

I felt him shake as he leaned back against me.

He landed with his shoulders at my breasts, so when he rested his head back, it was cradled on my shoulder.

He exhaled slowly as my hands went up the length of his arms.

“Is this what you meant by touching?” I asked.

“You touching me at all,” he gasped as my hands went over his chest, “Feels good.”

“Just good?” I asked innocently.

He turned his head to grin at me, “You want to hear me say it?”

I nodded, “I do.”

He made eye contact before he spoke again.

“It feels amazing when you touch me,” he said, “I’m so fucking hard right now.”

My body shook.

I can say without a doubt, I have never reacted like this to a boy telling me about his erection.

It was always, eh, but right now, I was far too interested.

I leaned forward a little to kiss the side of his face.

“Then do something about it,” I stated.

He groaned, “I want to, but I don’t want you to watch.”

I wasn’t sure what to make of that.

“You don’t want me to watch?” I asked.

He turned his head so that he was facing forward.

“No.”

Was I supposed to be a little hurt by that?

“Why not?” I asked.

He turned his head just slightly.

“I didn’t mean for that to bother you,” he said.

“Is there a reason why?” I asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Yes,” he said, “I’d like to think it’s a good one, but then again, I’m not good at this sort of thing.”

“Tell me why,” I said, “I’ll let you know if it is or not.”

He took in a large breath before he responded.

“The first time you see it,” he said, “I want it to be because I’m about to bury it in you.”

Despite his lack of specific words, my legs were still shaking.

“Well, that doesn’t make sense,” I said, “I’ll have to see it before you put it anywhere near me.”

“That’s what you think,” he chuckled, “I see it very differently in my head.”

I hummed at his words.

I think he realized what he just said because he stiffened.

“What exactly are you seeing?” I asked.

“I didn’t mean to say that,” he said.

“I figured as much,” I said back, “But I’m still curious. Let me in on your fantasy.”

He let out a noise of protest, “When you say it like that, it makes me sound like a pervert.”

“What if I like perverts?” I asked.

He turned his head so that he could see me.

His vision was already ten times better than the average human, so I know he could see me just fine. I wouldn’t have been able to see him if our spots were reversed.

“It feels like a scene from a movie,” he said, “You know the one, where the guy walks into his room, and a girl is on his bed wearing something sexy.”

I nodded, “What about it?”

“I imagine me walking in here after a long night at work,” he said, “And the second I walk in, I’m wide awake. In more ways than one.”

His voice did too much to me.

“Oh?” I asked.

My mouth is dry, and I have no idea what else to say.

“I see you wearing one of my shirts,” he chuckled, “And nothing else.”

“Are you sure there is nothing else?” I asked.

“I imagine I have a pretty great view of you,” he stated, “And maybe I walked in a few good minutes before you couldn’t wait anymore.”

“And what about you?” I asked, “Could you feel me before you opened the door?”

It felt strange to me to be so into this, but I wanted it too.

“Yes,” he said, “I could feel you, but the second my eyes land on you, all the blood rushes south.”

“Is that so?”

He nodded against me, “That’s when I get between your legs.”

As he spoke, I realized that my nails were slightly digging into his chest.

“Yeah?”

“I’m in too big of a hurry to wait. I need you,” he moaned, “I pull you closer and push down the front of my jeans.”

I gulped.

“You barely have the chance to see it,” he murmured, “I’m inside of you so fast.”

I hated this. I hated the situation we were in.

Why couldn’t we have met as humans?

Would I feel the same way?

I was interested in him right off the bat, so I believe so.

“And what sound do I make?” I asked, “When you push into me so quickly and roughly?”

“Shay,” Noah said, “Please look away.”

“What sound do I make?” I asked again.

He groaned, “You scream.”

“A good scream?” I whispered.

He nodded, “And when I pause to give you a minute, you moan.”

“Move up a little,” I said.

He moved his hands to either side of my legs and pushed himself up a bit.

I buried my face in his neck.

“You won’t look?” he asked.

“If you don’t want me to, then no,” I stated.

Even though, I would very much like to peek.

He did tell me his little fantasy.

Well, I’d like to make it a reality.

I was about to ask when he was about to start, but I heard him moan.

I could feel my own body heat increasing.

Was he really doing it?

[aroselane]

The Devil in Me Ch. 20

Chapter Twenty: 

Noah:

I felt disgusting.

While my stomach was feeling better, I took full advantage.

I was able to get up and take a quick shower.

Baird could find me when he was ready to let me in on his plan.

I know he said it would just be twenty minutes, but I couldn’t just sit there and wait.

When I got back to my room, Baird was standing there expectantly.

“Oh,” he said, surprised, “Are you feeling better?”

He looked at the tablet in his hand to check my vitals.

I wasn’t wearing anything so that he could check them.

“Noah,” he said, “You know the rules.”

“I just needed a shower,” I stated, “Besides, I was going to put them back on when I got to my room.”

I grabbed the watch off the nightstand and bound it to my wrist.

“See,” I showed him the device strapped to me.

“Yes,” he said, “I can see it.”

I sat on my bed and sighed.

There was this sensation under my skin that I couldn’t shake.

It wasn’t painful, it was just annoying.

It almost felt like I had an itch that I couldn’t scratch, no matter how hard I dug my nails in.

“Your vitals do not look much better,” Baird stated.

I didn’t feel much better, so I didn’t really expect the numbers to change.

“You will be glad to know,” he said, “Shay is on her way here.”

I looked up at him quickly to see if he was joking or not.

“What?” I gasped, “She is?”

“I thought she might be able to help.”

Or she might make things harder.

I didn’t want to think too much about it.

Maybe I should have jerked off in the shower.

“When?” I asked.

He glanced down at the tablet again.

“Soon.”

Fuck.

“You will be glad to know that while you were showering,” Baird said, “I took care of tidying up for you.”

I didn’t even realize that he really did.

There were no clothes on the floor.

Even the smell of vomit was gone.

I was thankful.

“Thank you,” I said.

He nodded, “Just make sure that you are ready.”

“Where are we meeting?” I asked.

There were a few different rooms we used for the volunteer program. I just needed to know which one to go to.

“She is coming here,” Baird said.

“I know,” I said, “But which room?”

Why did I feel so tired? If I couldn’t sleep, at least I should feel more awake.

“Noah,” he said, meeting my eyes, “She is coming here, to your room.”

Was I shaking?

Baird actually blurred as I stared at him.

“She is?” I asked, “Is that really a good idea?”

“Most likely not,” he said, “But you need to sleep.”

How will this even work?

“What do I do?” I asked.

Wait, did I really just ask him that?

Baird looked back at me with a started expression.

“Your body is exhausted,” he said, “Let us hope that means that you will be tired to change and harm her.”

He had a point. Hopefully, my body was too out of it to do much.

Baird’s attention went back to the device in his hands.

“She is almost here.”

I wanted to ask him how he knew that.

That’s right, Olsen wanted them tracked.

My brain was dead.

“I am going to go meet her out front,” Baird stated, “Make sure you are ready.”

I nodded, “Thank you.”

He only nodded before leaving my room.

I was definitely shaking.

Part of me was thankful that I couldn’t feel her yet.

I think a small part of me was afraid.

There was no doubt that just being near her made me a bit anxious. I wanted her.

I took in a deep breath before looking at what I was wearing.

The light gray sweat pants were a bit snug. I was oddly both thankful and worried about wearing them.

Around the waist of the sweats were black, as well as two random lines going down at the left side.

I decided on wearing a long-sleeve white thermal shirt.

This chill wasn’t going away, and I think it was best to avoid any significant skin contact with her.

I laid back on my bed, hoping to try and relax a bit.

My eyes shut, and I took in a deep breath.

I only thought it for a split second, but I wanted to try and find her before I could feel her.

I took another deep breath, hoping it would help me start to focus.

Shay.

I heard her name over and over again in my head until I felt her.

The feeling hit me so hard it knocked the wind out of me.

I felt warmth, and worry.

It was like the sun imprinted on her skin, and just being near her felt like standing in the sunlight.

I wasn’t even near her yet, and I could feel it.

Something inside of me felt wrong.

A small groan escaped my lips as I felt her getting closer.

The only feeling I could compare it to was an impending orgasm.

The closer she got, the better and more painful it felt.

It felt like a build-up of pressure inside of me.

I wanted her here faster.

The ache in me was intense now.

Only it was too late to run away.

The sensation of needles poking into my palms started.

She was close.

She was so close.

A light knock on my door pulled me out of whatever trance I was in. The focus I had shattered.

“Noah,” Baird said, “We’re coming in.”

I sat up the second the knob turned.

Shay’s eyes were the first thing I locked onto.

She grinned at me.

“I heard you were much worse,” she said, “You look just fine to me.”

I wanted to keep my eyes on her face, but I couldn’t.

What the fuck was she wearing?

I could see the tight workout shorts cling to her thighs.

They were too short. They weren’t even mid-thigh.

I could see the entirety of her side because of the open-sided white tank top she wore. Her black sports bra matched the shorts.

My body felt like I was convulsing.

I grit my teeth so hard that my jaw ached.

Was it her intention to make me lose my shit?

I pulled my shirt over my head.

“Noah,” Baird gasped.

I tossed the shirt at Shay, “Put it on.”

She stared at me even though the shirt was in her hands.

Don’t stare at me like that.

Her eyes were a little confused, but something else was there too.

“Put the shirt on,” Baird said from beside her.

She snapped out of it to put the shirt on.

That also was a terrible idea.

Seeing her wear my shirt, fucking hell.

My eyes wandered down, and it looked like she wasn’t wearing anything under the white fabric.

I had to shut my eyes.

I shut them tightly, and I even placed my hand over just so I couldn’t see.

“The second drawer,” I pointed in the direction of my dresser, “Grab the black sweat pants on the top.”

“Sorry,” she said, “I didn’t think about what I shouldn’t wear here.”

I heard her move forward, and then the sound of the drawer opening made me finally start to calm down.

“You did say that you ran here,” Baird stated.

She ran here?

Was she that worried?

I couldn’t help myself, I had to look at her.

My hand dropped, and I saw her pull the sweats to her waist.

She looked way too good right now.

Even though she was completely covered, I was still feeling it.

She opened the drawer under the one she was just in.

“Are you looking for something?” I asked.

She turned to look at me.

Her cheeks were flushed, and she was way too focused on my eyes.

I didn’t realize I had that effect on her too.

“Where do you keep your shirts?” she asked.

“Top drawer,” I said.

I leaned to my side to rest on my elbow.

I wanted to tease her.

“Why do you need a shirt?”

I was still very aware that Baird was in the room. I was thankful that he was silent.

“I think you know why,” she said.

She pulled out a grey short-sleeve shirt with three or four buttons down the neck.

I wasn’t ready for it to hit me in the face.

The shirt obscured my vision, so all I could hear was her laughter.

I think Baird might have been on to something here.

I feel a thousand times better.

“So, what is the plan?” Shay asked.

I pulled the shirt from my face to put it on.

“There was no real plan,” Baird stated, “But I do have an idea.”

I looked over at him, and he looked a little concerned.

This is your idea, why are you making that face?

“Shay,” Baird said, “I am going to need you to get on the bed.”

What?

-

Shay:

“Shay,” Baird said, “I am going to need you to get on the bed.”

“What?” I asked.

Me on the bed? Me and Noah on the bed?

Together?

He has to be joking.

I glanced over at Noah, and he looked nervous about it too.

“Are you sure?” Noah asked.

Baird looked like he didn’t like it when people second-guessed his decisions.

He looked irritated.

“Shay,” Baird said, “You’ll be at the head of the bed.”

“And I’ll be over here?” Noah asked, scooting towards the foot of the bed.

“Not exactly.”

What the hell was this man thinking?

“Shay, please,” Baird gestured towards the bed.

Noah pulled the comforter down so that I could see the matching sheet underneath.

I took my phone out of my purse, then slipped it into my pocket.

I kicked off my two different colored shoes before finding my place where I was told to.

Fortunately, the bed was against the wall, so I was able to sit against the corner of the wall.

Noah looked at me. He was clearly nervous.

This was new to me.

“Now what?” Noah asked.

He took in a breath, “Shay, pull those pillows in front of you.”

I put the pillows on my lap, but Baird shook his head.

“What?” I asked.

“Put one behind you, so that you are comfortable,” he said, “Then place the others on your lap.”

I wasn’t sure if I liked where this was going or not.

Once I was in a comfortable position, I moved the pillows around.

There weren’t that many.

“Noah,” Baird said, “You’re going to lay where she puts the pillows.”

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a boy look so nervous before in my life.

He was acting differently than usual. Maybe something really was wrong with him.

Baird told me that he hasn’t slept in a few days.

“Baird,” Noah said, “That is a horrible idea.”

He wasn’t wrong.

“Try it before you dismiss the idea,” Baird stated.

My gaze went to Noah again to see what he was going to do.

He was staring at me.

“How do you feel about this?” he asked.

I was a little surprised by his question.

“This is new,” he said, “I don’t know what is going to happen.”

My words came out before I had the chance to think about it.

“I’m with Baird on this one,” I said, “Try it before we decide if it’s a bad idea or not.”

He took in a deep breath before he smiled lightly.

“Alright,” he said, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

I nodded.

“Are you ready for me?” he asked.

I wasn’t sure if it was because he asked the question, or if it was how he asked it.

My whole body shivered.

“Just a second,” I said, moving the pillows again.

“He will have to have some contact with you,” Baird stated, “Even if it is just a little bit.”

“Okay,” I said, staring down at the two pillows.

How was I going to maneuver them so that he wasn’t directly on me?

I was a little worried.

I already knew that I could get reactions out of him, just by being here.

What would happen if he was nestled between my legs?

The way Noah looked at me made me a little more nervous than I already was.

He must be thinking the same thing as me.

His head was hung down a little, but his eyes were on me.

It did too many things to me.

My right leg was out in front of me against the wall, while my left was bent inward.

“Are you sure that will be comfortable for you?” Baird asked, “Once he falls asleep, you won’t be able to move.”

I knew that I was overthinking, but what if something happened?

I took in a breath before extending my left leg, and once again adjusting the pillows.

“Okay,” I said, “I’m good.”

I was.

My back didn’t hurt, and my legs didn’t feel cramped.

“Noah,” Baird gestured for him to move forward.

Noah got up to his knees, and I watched as he crawled closer to me.

It felt like my heart was hammering in my chest.

He stopped right in front of me.

“I’m going to lie on my back,” he said.

I nodded as he turned around, and he was sitting in front of me.

I watched his shoulders rise as he took in a breath.

“Come on,” I said.

I placed my hand on his shoulder to guide him back.

My left leg moved out a little, and my knee bent.

His head was on the pillow that was on my left thigh. It was the one not against the wall. There were too many moving variables on this side.

His weight on me felt good.

His eyes opened, and he looked at me.

“Is this alright?” he asked.

I nodded. It took me a second to realize that when I nodded, I jostled both of us.

A small chuckle came from Noah.

It put a smile on my face.

Noah’s eyes shut again, and it looked like he was trying to take even breaths.

I knew it wasn’t a good idea, but I couldn’t stop myself.

My hand came up to rest on the side of his face.

Part of me thought that his eyes would open, or that he would run away.

He didn’t do either of those things.

His face turned into my palm.

My thumb brushed lightly against his cheek.

I could stare at this boy forever.

The trust it must take for him to lie so defenselessly in front of me.

I moved my hand so that my knuckles could touch his face.

My eyes scanned the features of his face.

He has long dark lashes.

Both of my thumbs traced under his eyes as I thought it.

“Hmm,” Noah said softly.

He looked like he was actually going to sleep.

“Your numbers have improved significantly,” Baird said.

Noah’s eyes opened quickly.

My hands shot away quickly from his face as he sat up.

A growl erupted from him as he stared at Baird.

Baird didn’t look too worried about his aggressive behavior.

Did I need to be?

“Baird?” I asked.

“He was too relaxed,” Baird stated, “He forgot that I was even here.”

He didn’t look very relaxed now.

If I was being honest, I forgot Baird was here too.

“No matter how tired he is,” Baird stated, “His first instinct is to keep anyone and everything away from you.”

Really?

“He forgot that I was here,” Baird gestured at Noah, “But I believe in his current state that he will not harm you.”

He won’t harm me? Was he sure about that?

Another growl came from Noah.

“Noah,” I said softly, “Come back.”

His full attention was on Baird, and it seemed like he didn’t even hear me.

“It seems like he wants me gone,” Baird stated.

Noah didn’t even say anything.

“If you could see his face right now, you would know exactly what he wanted,” Baird said, “I suppose that means I should go.”

“Is that a good idea?” I asked.

“I will be able to see if he gets too riled up,” he said, “We can have people in here faster than you think.”

Still, I wasn’t sure this was the best idea.

“Just make sure you keep your phone with you,” he said, “Alright?”

I nodded.

Baird stayed there a minute before speaking again.

“Do you need anything before I go?”

I didn’t think that I did.

I shook my head, “I’m alright, thank you.”

“If you change your mind,” he said, “Just message me.”

“Okay,” I said, “I will.”

He opened the door but still lingered.

“Thank you, Shay,” he said, “For coming.”

I nodded quickly.

Noah needed me, why wouldn’t I come?

He shut the door when he finally walked out.

“Fuck,” Noah groaned.

He scooted himself back a little before laying back down on me.

“Are you alright?” I asked.

His eyes met mine, and he tried to smile, but it didn’t really come out like one.

His eyes were already different. The gray and lilac were there now.

“I was almost asleep,” he admitted, “I forgot Baird was even here.”

“So did I,” I confessed.

Part of my wanted to try touching him again.

His eyes were changed, so I wasn’t sure if it was the best idea.

Shit, I was going to just go for it.

My hand came up, and I ran my thumb over his thick eyebrow.

“Does it look different when your eyes change?” I asked.

His eye shut when my finger made contact with his eyebrow, while the other stayed open.

“Look different, how?”

“Like,” I tried to think of an example, “Do colors change? Do you see things better?”

“Uh,” his eyes darted around the room, then found their way back to my face.

“Is that a yes?” I asked with a smile on my face.

“I can focus on things better,” he stated, “When my eyes are like this, they work sort of like binoculars.”

“How so?”

“Well,” he made a small sound as my thumb went from his eyebrow to the side of his jaw.

“Well?” I supplied.

“I can focus,” he swallowed, “And I can zoom my vision to see better.”

“That is pretty cool,” I said.

His eyes were locked with mine.

I was focusing on where my fingers were, but I could feel his gaze.

He reached up to hold my hand still.

“Sorry,” I mumbled.

“I don’t mind it,” he murmured, “I like it when you touch me.”

I liked touching him too.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“I thought we established that already?” he asked.

We did, but sometimes I forget.

“Yes,” I said, “It slips my mind sometimes.”

“I wish it was under different circumstances, though,” he said before sighing.

“So do I,” I admitted.

His fingers massaged the palm of my hand.

“Fuck,” he groaned.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said, “And no.”

“How vague of you,” I chuckled.

He took in a deep breath.

Too deep of an inhale not to notice.

“It’s difficult,” he said, “When you’re so close.”

I pulled my hand out of his grasp.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said quickly.

He looked worried.

His brows furrowed as he gazed up at me.

“I don’t mean to make anything harder for you,” I stated.

“I know,” he said softly, “Nothing happening to me is your fault, never think that.”

“But it happens because of me,” I stated, “That kind of makes it my fault.”

He arched his back, and he scooted himself up a little so that the top of his head was against my stomach.

“No,” he said, “It’s biology.”

“Shut up,” I huffed.

He let out a small laugh, “What?”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Don’t be,” he said, “It was cute.”

I could feel my cheeks heat.

Did I like it when he called me cute?

Damn it, I really did.

“I only said its difficult,” he said, “Because here you are, and I shouldn’t be touching you.”

I want to ask him why, but I already knew the answer.

“Well, know that it’s mutual,” I stated.

His eyes on me felt heavier.

“What?” I asked.

“I want you.”

It felt like a fire was lit deep inside of me.

“What?” I breathed.

“I. Want. You.”

He said it slow, and his voice sounded like gravel.

“You shouldn’t be saying that right now.”

I felt my body trembling at his words.

“I can’t help it,” he said, glancing away.

A growl erupted from his throat.

I think that was the first time I was genuinely afraid of Noah. It was only the two of us in here.

“N-Noah,” I stuttered.

I could hear the trembling of my voice.

“Sorry.”

Huh?

I looked around to locate the origin of the voice.

“Top corner.”

I looked at the corner above me, but nothing.

My eyes went to Noah, and his eyes were fixed on the corner to my left.

I followed his gaze to the small camera, and on it was a red light.

“He must have heard the camera turn on,” the voice stated.

Noah moved to stand, but I put my hand over his chest to stop him.

“That’s not a very good idea,” the voice said.

“Noah,” I said calmly, “Lie back down.”

It was like he couldn’t hear me again.

I put more force into my hand as I moved him back.

His eyes locked with mine.

“Down,” I said.

He moved closer to where he was almost in my face.

His eyes went down before he laid face down onto the pillow.

I felt his arm go under the pillow and under my leg.

“Such a fierce glare,” the voice said.

I looked at the camera, “Who are you?”

“My name is Clive Gardiner,” he said, “I’m a physician here on site.”

Noah growled again.

“Shush,” I said.

The growl quieted.

I was surprised that he even heard me this time.

“She’s beautiful, Noah,” the man said.

I could feel Noah shaking.

“You and I will have to sit down and have a proper greeting,” he said, “What is your name?”

A deeper grown erupted from Noah, “Mine.”

It hit me strangely when he said it.

“She is human,” Clive said, “She has free will, you know this.”

I got the feeling that Noah really didn’t like this guy.

Quite frankly, I didn’t like him either.

My hand came up to run my nails gently through his hair.

“You should keep the touching to a minimum,” the man said.

I ignored him.

My hand went down to Noah’s neck, and I leaned over just a little.

“Yes,” I whispered, “Yours.”

The next sound Noah made, I can only compare to a moan.

“Mister Gardiner,” I said.

“Doctor,” he said back flatly.

“Clive then,” I said once I leaned back.

There was no response back.

“My mate clearly doesn’t like you,” I stated, “So I am going to have to decline any sort of meeting with you unless I absolutely have to.”

Noah made a sound like a grunt.

I guess he approves of my choice of words.

It felt good to hear him say that I was his.

Last time a guy said that to me, it pissed me off.

I knew that Noah didn’t mean it that way, though.

“How disappointing,” Clive said.

I didn’t want to hear this man anymore. In fact, I wanted him to fuck off.

“Now that I have pulled up her file,” Clive stated.

I felt myself frown.

“Shayne Hamilton,” he said, “Aged nineteen.”

I had to hold my tongue.

This man was clearly an asshole.

I was distracted by my frustration by Noah’s hand on my let.

My eyes went down to him.

His hand was at my bare ankle. His fingers slowly went up the elastic of the sweatpants.

I gasped.

“What are you doing, Noah?” Clive asked.

My hand went back to his neck, and I didn’t hesitate to gently run my fingers down the length of his neck until his shirt blocked my path.

“It appears that you haven’t had a physical in a while, Shayne,” Clive stated.

Noah growled.

I take it a physical with Mr. Gardiner wasn’t just an ordinary physical.

“I’m sure that a facility as large as this one has multiple physicians,” I stated.

Noah squeezed my leg gently.

I felt like we already had more than enough time with this man.

I had to move just a little to remove my phone from my pocket.

Baird would know who he was and what the hell he was doing here.

To: Baird – ‘Who is Dr. Gardiner?’

Noah picked his head up to see what I was doing.

I showed him my message.

He only nodded in response.

He used his elbow to pick himself up a little, before lying on his back again.

This time he was in a different position.

His head was on the other side.

This angle was a little different.

His head was over my right thigh, and his shoulder was against my stomach.

My phone buzzed.

From: Baird – ‘He is a Doctor here. Why?’

It seems like Baird doesn’t know that this Clive Gardiner is here at all.

To: Baird – ‘He is talking to us through a camera. I think he is trying to mess with Noah.’

It felt shitty of me to tattle, but I wanted this man gone.

Baird didn’t respond.

It said at the bottom that the message I sent has been read.

I glanced down at Noah, and he was just staring up at the ceiling.

His eyes were still gray and lilac.

His brow furrowed again.

I reached over to run between his eyebrows with my index finger.

His eyes met mine.

He winced as I gently poked between his brows.

“I’m sorry,” I said, “Does it hurt?”

He caught my hand as I tried to retract it.

“No,” he said.

It sounded like it was hard for him to speak.

“I meant your eyes,” I stated, “Because I barely touched you.”

“Shayne,” Clive said, “You should not be touching a Devil so carelessly.”

He was a hard man to ignore.

Noah stared back at me, questioningly.

“Your name is Shayne?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said, “But everybody calls me Shay.”

His gaze didn’t leave me, not even for a second.

I couldn’t even hear what Clive was saying anymore.

“You didn’t answer my question,” I stated, “Do your eyes hurt like this?”

My thumb ran over his forehead.

His eyes fluttered shut.

“They do,” he said, “But only if they stay this way for a long time.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, “Maybe you should try sleeping.”

“I want to,” he said, “But I can hear the buzz of the camera, and his voice is grating.”

“I agree,” I said just above a whisper.

His fingers laced with mine.

Noah kept his eyes shut as he sighed.

This felt good.

Despite the annoying voice trying to interrupt, I enjoyed this time with Noah.

I leaned down a little so that my face hovered a little closer to his.

“Shay,” Noah breathed, “That’s not a good idea.”

“Maybe not,” I said.

His eyes opened, and the lilac was brighter.

“Your eyes are beautiful,” I whispered, “Did you know that?”

He glanced away, “They don’t feel that way.”

“Because it’s different for you,” I stated, “For me, they belong to my mate.”

Hie eyes met mine again, “Really?”

“Shay.”

I moved my face away from Noah’s so that I could look at the camera.

“Baird?” I asked.

“I apologize for that,” he said, “It would appear that Dr. Gardiner felt it necessary to meddle with my program.”

“He won’t be coming back?” I asked, “Right?”

“Not while you are here,” Baird said, “No.”

“Thank you, Baird.”

“It also appears that he accessed your file without permission,” Baird stated, “I apologize for that.”

“Is it wrong that I don’t really care?” I asked, “Being here right now more than makes up for that.”

“I am glad that you see it that way,” Baird said, “How are you both doing?”

“Baird,” Noah said, “Look closer into Gardiner.”

“Is there something you are not telling me?” Baird asked.

“Yes,” Noah stated, “Look closely at what he’s been doing.”

“Alright,” Baird said, “Why is this only being brought to my attention now?”

Noah sat up to look at the camera, “He fucked with Shay.”

“Could you elaborate more on that?” Baird asked.

“Let’s just say that I’ve caught him more than once with his pants down,” Noah said.

“You are saying he was trying to do something with Shay?” Baird asked.

Noah’s gaze on the camera made it clear that he didn’t want to talk about this much more.

“He said I was overdue for a physical,” I stated, “He even hinted at meeting me later in person.”

There was a short silence.

“I will handle Gardiner,” Baird stated.

“Thank you,” Noah said.

“How are you feeling?” Baird asked.

“A little better,” Noah said, “But I still haven’t been able to sleep.”

“Your vitals have improved,” he said, “So I did not want to disturb you.”

“We certainly appreciate that,” I said.

“I will turn off the camera now,” Baird stated, “But I will be keeping a close eye on your numbers, so behave.”

“Yes sir,” Noah said.

The red light turned off.

Noah sighed.

“The buzzing is gone,” he said, “Now I can relax.”

I didn’t hear anything.

Noah turned his head to look at me.

“Are you comfortable?” he asked.

I wasn’t really sure. I wasn’t really uncomfortable.

“We can do this a different way,” he said, “If you want to.”

This was dangerous.

“Different how?” I asked.

I watched as his Adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed.

I wasn’t even sure what to do here.

Then an idea came to me.

I scooted away from the corner and put two of the pillows where I sat.

“You lay there,” I pointed.

He didn’t look away from me.

“Do it,” I said.

He laid on his back, then turned his head slightly to stare at me.

“Now what?”

I looked down to see where his feet reached on the bed. They reached the foot of the bed and were already almost hanging off.

I moved closer to him so that I was sitting next to his chest.

“Arm out,” I said, moving his arm out.

His arm laid straight out, and I leaned a little so that my elbow was above his arm, and my chest was under it.

I was facing his body while he was facing the ceiling.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

I scooted up a bit so that I was a little over his face.

My hand went to his cheek, “You’re not allowed to move, do you understand?”

His eyes widened, “What?”

“Don’t move,” I said, “Got it?”

He nodded quickly.

I moved forward just a little to nuzzle my face against the side of his.

“Say it again,” I whispered against his cheek.

He took in a ragged breath, “Say what again?”

“That I’m yours,” I said.

The arm that laid flat under me came up to pull me closer against him.

“Mine,” he whispered.

My body tingled at his words.

“Say it again,” I breathed.

His grip tightened around me, “Mine.”

“One more time,” I whimpered.

His face turned so that his nose rubbed against mine.

It startled me when I felt his whole body turn so that he was pressed against me.

“Yours,” he breathed.

His eyes were shut when he rubbed his nose against mine.

They were butterfly kisses.

So why did I feel the fluttering in my stomach?