Beside You Ch. 36: Help
Chapter Thirty-Six: Help
I was warm.
Everything felt good.
“Ren?”
My eyes fluttered open.
First, I saw Michael’s dirty blond hair.
Next, I saw Bailee.
Didn’t Michael lock the door?
“I take it the two of you didn’t get much sleep last night,” Bailee said.
Michael was still in the same position he was before I knocked out.
Bailee’s full attention was on me.
I hated it.
My skin felt like something was under it.
Wiggling.
I shivered as I thought about it.
“You’ve rested long enough,” Bailee stated, “Come downstairs. Both of you.”
Both of us?
I found myself just staring at her.
She may be Benny’s mother, and she may have taken care of Michael, but she was not my mother.
She was not the boss of me.
She could insist all she wanted.
I didn’t respond.
My nails gently pressed into Michael’s scalp.
He groaned as he moved closer against me.
“It’s a little after noon,” Bailee stated, “If you aren’t downstairs in twenty minutes, I will raise hell.”
Raise hell?
Was that really what she meant?
She shot me a glare before she walked out of the room.
I didn’t really care what she thought about me. I just don’t want things to be harder on them.
“Michael?” I asked.
“Hmm.”
I felt a grin form on my face.
“Benny’s mom isn’t too happy with us right now,” I stated.
He moved back to look at me, “What?”
Did he not hear her?
“She was just here,” I said, “She wants us downstairs.”
I watched him frown.
It was almost like he was a pouting child.
“I want to sleep more,” he said.
I stared at him.
“I want to snuggle more,” I admitted.
I expected a snarky comment, but he didn’t say anything.
He grinned at me.
My heart hammered against my ribcage.
I didn’t like it here in this house, but he made it bearable.
He flopped onto his back.
“I can’t wait to be back on campus,” he sighed.
“Same,” I said.
His head rolled to the side, so he could look at me.
“I can’t wait until my arm is better,” he said.
“Same,” I said again.
His eyes were locked with mine.
Something unspoken passed between us.
It felt like there was tension in the air.
My stomach fluttered.
“It’ll be a while,” he said, “A few weeks, at least.”
I nodded.
A break and a sprain were two different things.
I was probably looking forward to his recovery more than he was.
He’s already made promises.
He sighed before he sat up.
“We should probably head down.”
I didn’t say anything as I also got into a sitting position.
He scooted to the edge of the bed before standing up.
My gaze just lingered on him.
Neither of us said anything.
I didn’t like the silence.
It felt like something heavy was lingering in the air.
“How are you feeling?” I asked after several quiet minutes.
“A little better,” he admitted.
I was glad to hear that.
He turned to look at me.
I opened my mouth to speak, but he spoke first.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“I’m okay,” I said.
He nodded slowly.
I moved around the bed to stand next to him.
We were both still dressed. All we had to do was leave this room and walk downstairs.
“Hopefully this morning was as bad as it gets today,” he said.
Hopefully.
Even though I already knew that it wouldn’t work that way today.
It just didn’t feel like things were going to work out in our favor.
A strangely anxious feeling settled in my stomach.
I figured out why when we finally made it downstairs.
++++++++++
I sat at the edge of the pool with an obvious frown on my face.
Bailee really didn’t like me.
It felt like it last night, but it was pretty much confirmed today.
She didn’t say it, but sometimes actions speak louder than words.
That didn’t matter right now.
The position I was in now felt a little more pressing.
I tried to avoid the gaze aimed at me.
Michael and Benny were called away.
For what? Hell if I knew, Bailee wouldn’t say anything other than that she needed to speak to the two of them. Alone.
Benny’s father needed Gus for something.
I think he mentioned something about headlight bulbs.
This sucked.
I was alone.
I thought the whole point was for us to be out here together?
This is bullshit.
“Mayren?”
Well, I was sort of alone.
I refused to acknowledge him.
Maybe if I ignored him, he would leave me alone.
I knew it didn’t really work like that, but a girl can hope.
“I don’t understand why you’re acting this way.”
Do not engage.
It means he wins.
I gently kicked my feet in the warm water.
I tried to pay attention to the slight ripples in the water each time I moved my legs forward and backward.
Every once in a while, a few tiny bubbles would rush to the surface.
It was when I noticed the small cut on my leg.
Was it there before?
Did I accidentally cut myself while shaving earlier?
“Damn it, Mayren,” Steven sighed, “I just want to talk to you.”
My head cocked to the side.
I didn’t mean to do it. It was out of habit.
“So you are listening.”
It’s not like I have a choice.
“You don’t want to talk to me,” I stated, “You want me to listen to you talk.”
“That’s not true,” he said.
“Then why do you get mad when I respond back?” I asked.
“I don’t.”
He already sounded irritated.
“I’m not here to talk to you,” I stated.
“You are,” he said, “Technically, that is why you were invited in the first place.”
Well, isn’t that a shame for him then?
“You said you would give me another chance.”
He sounded like a broken fucking record.
“I tried,” I admitted, “But you only care about yourself.”
“Are you fucking kidding?” he demanded, “I only care about myself? What about you?”
I finally looked up to meet his glare.
“What about me?” I asked simply.
“You didn’t even try,” he said, “Don’t lie and say that you did.”
“I met you at the hospital,” I stated, “I unblocked you.”
“So much work,” he said sarcastically.
“You dove right into insulting me,” I stated, “Why should I let you do that to me again?”
He laughed, but then he looked a little awkward.
“Are they insults if they’re true?” he asked.
“Do you need a dictionary?” I asked him.
“Fuck you,” he spat.
“It was a serious question,” I stated, “Are you that fucking stupid to think a girl enjoys being ripped apart?”
“At one point, you did.”
The smile that formed on my face was a reflex.
“At one point,” I said, “I was willing to put up with anything so that I wasn’t alone.”
“Could have fooled me,” he stated.
There was no hesitation in his response.
I glared at him.
“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked.
“I didn’t realize just how desperate you were,” he said.
I didn’t look away from him.
“So what you’re saying is,” he paused to grin, “I could have been a thousand times worse back then, and you wouldn’t have left me?”
I never really thought about it.
It was thanks to my mother sending me away that I finally got away from him.
I didn’t even want to think about that.
“I guess we’ll never know,” I stated.
“It’s not too late,” he said.
“It really is.”
“It’s not,” he stated, “You have to know that Bailee will never let Michael be with anyone but Benny.”
It won’t happen.
Benny and Michael don’t feel that way about each other.
Anybody with eyes can see how much she loves Gus.
“It’s only a matter of time,” Steven said.
My head shook quickly at his words.
“After fighting it for so long,” Steven said, “Eventually, they’ll give up.”
I didn’t see that happening.
Then I heard Gus’s words from when we first got here.
He was afraid that Benny would give in one day.
“You are just a minor inconvenience for her,” he stated, “But now she’s going to insist you come over more for me.”
I found myself grinning.
She didn’t have that power over me.
Now that I know her game.
Fuck no.
“Is something funny?” Steven asked.
I just shook my head.
“Then why are you laughing?”
“I’m not laughing,” I stated.
I’m not.
None of this is funny.
Laughing was the last thing I wanted to do.
More than before, I wanted to leave.
I don’t want to stay here.
I don’t want to come here again.
My gaze went to the sliding glass door.
“Thinking about ditching me?”
“Always,” I said.
“Why do you do that?”
I didn’t bother looking at him again.
My eyes remained on the glass, hoping someone would come out here.
“You know it’s true,” Steven said, “Eventually, fighting Bailee will be too much for them.”
Maybe.
But Benny and Michael aren’t alone.
With how much Gus loves Benny, he would never give her up.
Even when it gets hard, I know he will fight for her.
That’s just the type of person he is.
“Mayren,” Steven said, “Do you want to know why Michael never goes against what Bailee wants?”
I knew the reason.
Well, not the exact reason.
“He feels like he owes her,” I stated.
“He does owe her,” Steven stated, “Without Bailee and Brandon, Michael would have wound up in some fucked up whore house either spending the last of his money or trying to make more.”
I turned my head to look at Steven again.
“Do you even care about anyone else besides yourself?” he asked.
He was one to talk.
Why did it sound like he was genuinely concerned?
Why did he even care how I felt?
He never did before.
“Since when do you care?” I asked.
“If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t be here trying to explain,” he stated.
“You’re only trying to make yourself feel better,” I said.
“Mayren, don’t be stupid.”
Right, because I was the one being stupid here.
“You don’t have to worry about me or my feelings anymore,” I stated, “Because as far as I’m concerned, you and I are done.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
I was pretty sure I said it exactly how I meant it.
How else was I supposed to say it?
“No more chances,” I stated.
“What?” he snapped.
“No more us,” I said, “Ever.”
He looked pissed off.
I could see him trying to say something, but the right words weren’t coming out.
My gaze went back to the glass.
This new version of me was cold.
It felt a little wrong sometimes.
Right now, that didn’t matter.
I wanted to see one of the three faces I came here with.
My heart sped up when I saw the glass slide open.
Gus walked out, and I watched his gaze go from me to Steven.
“Gus,” I said.
His eyes landed on me again.
I felt relieved just seeing his face.
“Are you done helping?” I asked.
His gaze flickered to Steven again before nodding.
“So, you can stay out here?” I asked.
He made his way to the edge of the pool before stopping.
“I’m ready to swim for a bit,” he said, “How about you?”
I looked down at my feet in the water.
“I could swim,” I said.
“Are you two normally this fucking awkward?” Steven asked.
Gus and I weren’t alone together very often.
Sometimes it was a little awkward.
I chose to ignore him.
“Did you see Benny in there?” I asked.
Gus shook his head.
“Bailee is trying to convince them to try dating,” Steven said, “Either that or….”
He purposely stopped.
He was dying for one of us to ask.
“Or what?” Gus asked.
When I looked at Steven, he was grinning from ear to ear.
He was way too pleased to get what he wanted.
“I thought you’d never ask,” he said, “How badly do you want to know?”
“Simple curiosity,” Gus stated, “Since you were the one that brought it up.”
Steven shrugged, “I guess you aren’t that curious then.”
“I guess not,” Gus said.
Gus turned to look at me again, “Are you coming in?”
I nodded.
I watched Gus slowly descend the steps deeper into the pool.
I used my hands to scoot forward a little so I could drop into the water.
Gus was in front of me, helping guide me into the water.
I glanced up at Steven again before I was submerged in the water.
He looked frustrated.
I took in a good breath of air once I resurfaced.
I wasn’t expecting to go underwater.
“Benny is still seventeen,” Steven said, “Bailee only needs Michael to be on her side.”
My head snapped in Steven’s direction.
He wouldn’t.
Michael would be harder to convince than Benny would.
He wouldn’t hurt Gus that way.
At least I hoped so.
I wanted to tell myself that I knew Michael well, but in reality, I don’t.
“Think what you want,” Gus said, “It won’t happen.”
“Such confidence,” Steven said, “How sure are you about that?”
Gus turned to look at Steven, “You’ve never been in love before, have you?”
Steven glanced at me.
“Real love,” Gus said before Steven could respond.
“Real enough,” Steven said, “The thing you think you have, it isn’t real.”
“It doesn’t have to look real to you,” Gus said, “It only needs to feel that way for us.”
“Such inspirational words,” Steven said mockingly.
“You really don’t get it, do you?” Gus asked, “People fall in love all the time, even when they don’t want to.”
That’s why they call it falling.
Steven opened his mouth to respond, but Gus spoke first.
“Real love doesn’t always mean a happy ending,” he stated, “Falling in love is the beginning.”
Where did this come from?
“You said you loved Ren,” Gus said, “But in reality, you just loved that she made you feel better about yourself.”
Steven’s expression twisted to anger, “What the fuck do you know?”
“I’m saying if you really loved her, you would want her to be happy,” Gus stated, “Even if that happiness had nothing to do with you.”
“Not all love is the same,” Steven stated, “You of all people should know that, Gustavo.”
I could see the slight flinch from Steven’s words.
“It doesn’t have to be the same,” Gus frowned, “I’m just saying, real, genuine love, is selfless.”
“Maybe your love is,” Steven said, “Or, at least you think it is.”
“I don’t know,” it was Benny who spoke this time, “My love is a little bit of both.”
My gaze went to her, and Michael stood right behind her.
“At least certain things make me a little selfish,” Benny grinned.
“Great,” Steven frowned, “You guys are done talking already?”
Benny only nodded.
It surprised me when neither of them said anything about their talk with Bailee.
If I was being honest, it bothered me a little bit.
My gaze locked on Michael.
He glared at Steven.
“Is everything alright?” I asked.
“All good,” Benny said.
Michael finally met my questioning eyes.
“Everything is fine.”
The second the words left his mouth, I knew he was lying.
The question in my gaze turned into a glare.
It wasn’t on purpose.
“Are you okay?” Benny asked me.
I gave her my full attention before I answered.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked, “Everything is fine.”
I made sure to use the exact words Michael just did to lie to me.
Benny could tell I wasn’t being completely honest.
I hated being lied to.
Michael promised that he would be more honest.
I had to push my irritation down.
Maybe he was waiting until it was just the four of us?
I didn’t want to let it bother me.
I will ask him about it later.
Benny practically leapt at Gus from the edge of the pool.
I found myself laughing at her screech as the water made a painful smacking sound against her skin.
Thankfully I wasn’t close enough for her to land on, but I was very much in splashing distance.
I wiped the water off of my face as I grinned.
Benny wrapped her arms around Gus to grin at him.
Their closeness made me feel a little lonely.
Like it has a lot lately, my gaze sought out Michael.
He looked down at us a little awkwardly.
“Are you coming in?” I asked.
His eyes snapped to me.
I realized what I asked only after it left my mouth.
The wording was wrong, but the tone was right.
“I shouldn’t,” Michael said.
He glanced down at the sling.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Gus stated.
“He got all dressed up,” Benny stated.
“You can put your feet in,” I suggested.
“Wow,” Steven said, “Is this what’s is usually like with you guys?”
I chose to ignore him.
Michael glared at him.
“You don’t feel genuine,” Steven stated, “Are you even really friends with Mayren?”
It bothered me to hear him ask that.
“Are you jealous?” Benny asked.
“For a while there I was,” he admitted, “But I don’t get the impression you know her at all. It’s all just been an act, hasn’t it?”
“What?” Gus asked.
“It feels like you guys are acting,” Steven stated, “You guys don’t seem like you even know what to say to each other.”
“We just got out here,” Benny said, “Are you seriously that bored?”
Steven frowned, but I watched him quickly recover.
“Then you know more about Mayren than I do?” he challenged.
“No one said that,” Gus stated, “But we’re who she chooses to be around.”
Steven’s head cocked to the side, “For now.”
“You need to get a life,” Michael stated.
Steven glared at Michael, then slowly, a smile formed on his face.
I could see the challenge in his eyes.
“Was it something I said?” Steven asked smugly.
Michael didn’t respond.
“Or are you worried about something I might say?”
Steven really didn’t want anyone to like him, did he?
“No?” Steven asked, “I think I got one then.”
He paused to take a drink from the large red cup on the table.
“Did your new addition tell you about her cutting?”
I felt myself start to shake.
Panic bubbled in my gut.
“Of course she did,” Benny said, “She told us day one.”
He chuckled, “Yeah, right.”
“She did,” Gus stated.
“Okay,” Steven said, “Then where?”
What the fuck was he doing?
Why was he doing this now?
“It doesn’t matter where,” Gus stated.
Steven looked proud of himself.
It pissed me off.
“You don’t know anything,” Steven said.
I hated where this was going.
I hated that Steven felt it was okay to bring this up.
The panic in my stomach turned into anxiety.
“You of all people would know where,” Benny said, “Wouldn’t you?”
“You guys try too hard,” Steven said, “I almost believed you.”
Steven’s gaze went to Michael, as if expecting him to say something.
“Have you seen them?” he asked Benny.
“I’m her roommate,” Benny stated, “I’ve seen more than you have.”
“I’m sure you have,” Steven chuckled.
Something hung in the air, only I wasn’t sure what it was.
“You’ve seen them too,” Benny stated, “When she closed her legs to you.”
It felt a little like time had stopped.
She knew?
When?
Is she bluffing?
I tried to hide the scars for so long.
Steven’s expressions were torn.
I saw a bit of confusion and frustration.
“Ren is a private person,” Gus stated, “We were just waiting for her to be ready to tell us more about it.”
“You can act all high and mighty for meeting her first,” Benny said, “But you’ll never know her like we do.”
My heart.
Steven shook his head, “You don’t know what I know.”
“So what?” Michael asked, “Most of what you had with her was forced.”
“Is that what she told you?” Steven hissed.
“Yes,” Michael said, “And we trust her more than we trust you.”
My heart fluttered at his words.
Steven scowled, “How much longer are you going to act like a boyfriend?”
“I’m not acting,” Michael stated.
“I didn’t know you could get this jealous cousin,” Benny said.
“It’s not jealousy,” he snapped, “I’m tired of hearing lies. Cousin.”
Benny just stared at him.
I could see a little bit of pity in her eyes.
“It’s probably about time you refocus your efforts,” Michael said, “Look for someone that actually wants to be with you.”
“My efforts are focused in the right direction,” Steven said.
“Suit yourself,” Michael said, “You’ll only be frustrated in the end.”
“Sure I will,” Steven said.
This was a waste of time.
Steven is delusional. He proves it every time we talk.
“Can we just swim?” I asked.
Gus laughed.
It sounded louder than necessary, but it was a welcome distraction.
“That’s what I’m wondering,” Gus said.
Benny splashed him playfully.
My attention went to Michael again when I noticed movement.
He sat at the edge of the pool and put his feet into the warm water.
“Just don’t fucking splash me,” Michael said.
Gus grinned.
I had a feeling Michael would end up in the pool whether he wanted to or not.
++++++++++
I didn’t realize how long we stayed in the pool until Bailee came out and told us it was time to get out.
Benny groaned.
Gus only laughed.
Michael was still mad about his sling getting wet.
We slowly got out so that we could dry off.
Mrs. Sidney came out with towels for us.
She noticed the wet sling and offered to wash it.
“Thank you,” Michael told her.
She went into the house just as quickly as she came out.
“You guys are dicks,” Michael said once it was just us again.
Well, us and Steven.
He sat in the gravity chair with an irritated expression on his face.
He’s been like that for a while.
He tried to make more comments but finally gave up when everyone ignored him.
I didn’t realize how cold it was until I was out of the pool.
The wind picked up.
I shivered as I wrapped my towel around my shoulders.
Michael had a hard time trying to cover himself with one arm.
I stepped in front of him and pulled the corner of his towel up and over his left shoulder.
His eyes locked on mine.
His lips had a blue tint to them.
Was he cold?
“I’m starving,” Benny whined.
“Same,” Gus said, “Swimming always makes me hungry.”
My gaze didn’t leave the dark blue orbs.
“You alright?” I asked.
He nodded.
“Were we really in the pool for that long?” Benny asked.
I turned to look at her.
She was leaning against Gus, and he wrapped his towel around the both of them.
Benny’s gaze was fixed upward.
I followed her gaze.
It was getting dark.
Since when?
“Was it this cold before?” Gus asked.
My attention went from the skyline to the boy huddling behind Benny, trying to steal her body heat.
She giggled.
I glanced back at Michael.
He shivered, but he stared at the ground.
I wanted to give him my body heat.
I wanted to have what Benny and Gus had with him.
My body moved closer to Michael.
His head picked up to look at me again.
I grabbed the top corners of my towel and wrapped my arms around Michael.
He took a step back as if he was trying to escape.
I wasn’t having that.
“I’m cold,” I said.
The foot he stepped back with moved forward again.
His good arm brought a bit of his towel around my back.
“I want to huddle together like penguins,” Gus said.
Benny laughed again.
“Michael said that Ren is warm,” Gus stated, “We need to huddle.”
“Is she?” Benny asked, “She just said she’s cold.”
“She also said you guys cuddle together all the time in the room,” Gus pouted.
“Sometimes I get cold,” Benny stated, “And she does give pretty awesome cuddles.”
“We can cuddle together later,” I whined, “I’m cold and wet right now.”
Benny giggled, “Me too.”
“Me three,” Gus chuckled.
Michael sighed.
His grip around me tightened.
I used my right hand to hold both corners of the towel so I could use my left to make contact with his bare back.
I ignored the shirt he wore and reached into the large sleeve opening.
He made a slight noise when my hand went over his skin.
“Get a room,” Steven called, “Horny idiots.”
I could feel the heat in my cheeks.
Was I that obvious?
Benny and Gus both giggled.
Maybe he was talking about them?
I heard the sliding glass door open again before I heard a voice.
“You guys dry yet?”
It was Benny’s dad this time.
“Almost,” Benny said.
“Is Ren out here still?” he asked.
I turned my head to see his attention on me.
“Do you need me for something?” I asked.
He smiled sheepishly, “I’d like to talk to you when you have a chance.”
“Okay,” I said.
“Is something wrong?” Michael asked.
“Not at all,” Brandon said, “I just wanted to talk to Ren about something.”
“Alone?” Benny asked.
“Oh,” he asked, clearly flustered, “You can join us. It’s nothing like that.”
“I told you not to flirt with her,” Michael said teasingly.
“Stop,” Brandon whined.
I felt the small laugh that came from Michael.
“Just meet me in the living room when you’re ready,” he said.
He closed the slider when he was back inside.
“I wonder what he wants to talk to you about,” Gus said.
I only shrugged.
I didn’t really know Benny’s father.
I couldn’t even come up with a guess.
“We’ll be there too,” Michael said, “You don’t have to be nervous.”
My neck craned to look up at him after I nodded.
The old cuts on his chin were healing.
Some were scabbed over.
Fortunately, not all of them were bad.
I felt the urge to lean forward and kiss it.
My feet shifted just a bit, but I stopped.
It took more self-control than I thought it would not to.
“We should probably head in now,” Benny said.
I turned a little so that I could look at them.
If they were going in, it meant I had to detach myself from Michael.
“We should rinse off,” Gus stated.
“Oh?” Benny asked.
“Yes.”
He said it flatly.
His face gave away the emotions that didn’t reach his voice.
He stared hard at Benny.
“End of the hall,” Benny said, “The one on the right. You know the one?”
He nodded.
“I’ll grab us some clothes,” she said, “You start the water.”
He nodded quickly.
I watched how fast they separated before darting into the house.
“Are they…?”
“They are,” Michael said.
I looked up at him.
“We should probably rinse off ourselves,” I said softly.
“Together or separately?” he asked.
I leaned into his right shoulder before answering.
“Together.”
His right arm dropped from around me.
I released my grip on him before he turned me around.
His hand on my lower back gently led me toward the door Benny and Gus disappeared through.
“Leaving so soon?” Steven asked.
Michael’s hand pressed harder into my back.
I think he was urging me to ignore Steven.
He didn’t have to tell me twice.
I mean, he didn’t even have to tell me once.
When I was finally over the threshold, it felt like the air in my lungs was heavier.
Benny’s parents were in here somewhere.
Michael just continued to nudge me in the direction he wanted.
We headed up the stairs to his room first.
“Aren’t we rinsing off?” I asked.
Sure, the idea of doing naughty things on his bed absolutely crossed my mind.
“We need clothes,” he chuckled, “For after.”
I felt stupid.
“I knew that,” I mumbled.
He dropped his hand from my back to open the door.
I hesitated a few seconds before I followed him in.
He had his bag on the bed, pulling out his clothes.
My gaze dropped to my own bag.
My stomach felt a little sick.
“What should I wear?” I asked.
His eyes landed on me, but he didn’t lift his head.
“Wear whatever you want,” he said.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
I picked the heavy duffle up to set it on the bed.
“You should be comfortable,” he stated.
I frowned.
Even though I still sort of wanted Benny’s parents to like me, I didn’t see that happening.
I don’t think my clothes were going to change their opinion of me.
It made me feel a little less self-conscious about my choice.
Only a little though.
I searched the bag for something that might be comfortable.
Once I found a complete outfit, I looked at Michael again.
He stood there staring at me.
I felt the heat on my cheeks.
“Is everything alright?” I asked.
He nodded.
“You sure?”
“Do you have your clothes?” he asked.
I nodded this time.
“Grab them,” he said, “Let’s go.”
He seemed a little bit in a hurry.
I grabbed my clothes and followed him down the hall to the same bathroom I had used earlier.
My heart thudded against my ribcage.
I was looking forward to any time alone with him.
He locked the door once we were both inside.
I watched him set his pile of clothes on the countertop.
My body moved forward to do the same with my clothes.
He stared down at me, watching me.
My body felt hotter the longer his eyes were on me.
I’m not sure I can handle his gaze much longer.
My hands moved on their own.
I tugged at the black tank top before pushing it up.
He took in a sharp breath.
I forced the black fabric over his head.
His bare skin never failed to make my stomach dip.
The bright pink under his navel was still extremely fucking hot.
My hands dropped to the elastic on his shorts.
“Are we doing this?” I asked.
My neck craned to look up at him.
His lips pressed softly to mine.
It was gentle, almost like it barely happened.
My breath stuttered.
“We can only do so much,” he said, “Given the circumstances.”
I nodded.
That made perfect sense.
At least it did to my muddled brain.
His hand pulled at my bathing suit top.
I didn’t hesitate to pull the wet fabric off.
I couldn’t help but find it a little funny.
My top was usually the last thing off.
His hand pushed the black and red shorts down my hips until they fell to the floor.
“You said there is only so much we can do,” I said.
I wanted him to tell me what he planned to do to me.
What he wanted me to do to him.
His hand pulled at the strings tied at the top of his shorts.
My gaze locked right where the tie came undone.
Slowly my eyes traced up the thin trail back to the pink jewelry.
“There’s plenty I’d like to do,” he said, “But Benny’s dad is also waiting for you.”
I frowned as I thought about that.
I had already forgotten.
“Whatever it is,” he said, “We have to make it quick.”
My gaze dropped to his shorts again.
“Hands are okay?” I asked.
“Hands are always okay,” he said.
I made sure to raise just my eyes to meet his.
I didn’t say anything before slipping my hand down the front of his shorts.
He gasped.
Once my hand made direct contact with the hardening appendage, he released a soft moan.
Let’s just say it was the first time I’ve jerked someone off.
Like ever.
++++++++++
I felt like I was in a daze.
The steam must have gone to my head.
I was definitely overheated.
My legs still trembled when I thought about Michael’s adamant fingers.
My lips felt swollen.
Everything felt right in this moment.
“You ready to head down?” Michael asked.
Well, that ended pretty quickly.
I nodded despite my nerves.
I followed Michael down the stairs, through the kitchen, and finally to stand in the living room.
Benny’s father stood up and grinned at both of us.
“Hey,” he said.
I smiled back awkwardly.
“What is it you wanted to talk to Ren about?” Michael asked.
“Oh,” Brandon said quickly, “I could be wrong, but I had to know for sure.”
I expected him to speak, not come walking toward me.
He showed me a picture and pointed to the man on the far left.
“Do you know this man?” he asked.
I was confused.
“Where is this from?” I asked.
I felt anxiety pooling in my stomach.
“Do you know Franklin?” he asked.
I glanced down to scan the other faces in the picture.
“Ren?” Michael asked.
My eyes locked on another face.
I knew this face well.
“Do you know him?” Michael asked.
I nodded.
“So then, this is you?” Brandon asked, pointing at the face my eyes were already locked on.
I nodded again.
“What?” Michael asked, “She doesn’t have a birthmark in this picture.”
“If I remember correctly,” Brandon said, “Your mother put make-up on you before you came over.”
My mother has always hated my birthmark.
My eyes went over the other faces again.
“I had a feeling I had seen that birthmark before,” Brandon said proudly, “I don’t know why she put make-up on you in the first place. You played so hard with the other kids it ran right off.”
This was proof of a memory I didn’t have.
The picture in my hand was me from a different time.
I had the biggest grin on my face.
What was I so happy about?
I wanted to remember.
“Franklin had a similar birthmark,” he said, “Only his was on his neck and shoulder.”
My hands were shaking.
“This,” Brandon pointed at the child next to me, the one holding my hand, “This is Michael.”
My gaze shifted to the blue-eyed boy with a smile rivaling my own.
“Here,” he pointed to the boy next to Michael, “This is my son, Brandon.”
The dark brown eyes were on the little girl next to him.
She frowned as she pulled at the large pale blue bow in her hair.
“And this is Bethany,” he pointed at Benny.
No.
This had to be a mistake.
“This right here,” he pointed at the man next to my father, “This is Christopher. Michael’s father.”
My eyes darted to the man Brandon pointed out.
I could see the resemblance.
Similar eyes, blue, but not as dark as Michael.
Their faces had the same angles.
He has his father's nose.
Michael’s hair curls a little at the ends. His father’s hair was too short to tell for sure.
The other man in the picture was Brandon.
The three of them, and the four of us.
I met him before?
I met both of them before?
My eyes went to Michael.
He was staring at the picture.
He looked frustrated.
“This was our last gathering all together,” Brandon said softly, “Before Christopher died.”
My left hand searched for Michael’s right one.
He took it without saying anything.
“You guys were so close,” he said, “It’s a shame your mother had to move for work. We saw you and your father less and less.”
I felt like I had to know.
“Have you seen him recently?” I asked.
I could see him thinking about it.
“Not in a few years,” he said, “He came out here for a bit after….”
He stopped short.
“After?” Michael asked.
Brandon’s eyes were on me.
I could see pity in his eyes.
“He stayed with us for a few months after the accusation,” he admitted.
“Accusation?” Michael asked.
Brandon didn’t take his eyes off of me.
“It’s a shame all of that happened,” Brandon shook his head.
I glared at him now.
Brandon looked startled.
“He never touched me,” I stated, “My mother is a liar.”
“I never thought he did,” Brandon said, “Franklin is a good man.”
“If he was so good, he wouldn’t have left her there,” Michael snapped.
“Michael,” Brandon said, “After everything that happened, it would have been an awful idea.”
“You don’t know what she’s been through,” Michael said.
He sounded angry.
“He was a father accused of putting his hands on his only daughter,” Brandon stated, “Him leaving wasn’t for him.”
“He could have come back,” I said, “No one ever gave me the chance to deny anything.”
Brandon’s sad eyes were on me again.
I didn’t like his pity.
It made me feel a little nauseous.
“Now that I think about it,” Brandon said, clearly to change the subject, “You met him last time he was here.”
He pointed to Michael.
“I did?”
My eyes were on Michael, desperate for any memory he might have shared with my father.
“I don’t remember much about him,” he admitted.
“You remember the mark on his shoulder?” Brandon asked.
I watched as his hand went from the side of his neck to the slope of his shoulder.
It took a minute, but I saw the instant he remembered.
His eyes lit up, and he nodded.
“He told me to call him Frank,” Michael said, “And I remember the mark on his shoulder.”
I watched him frown.
“He said his daughter had one too,” he nearly whispered, “And that he missed her every day.”
I frowned.
“I swear I had no idea it was your father,” Michael said.
“I didn’t realize she was his daughter either,” Brandon stated, “She went by a different name then.”
“Mayren?” Michael asked.
Brandon shook his head, “Franklin called her something different.”
“May,” I said.
He was the only one that called me that.
My mother refused to call me by a nickname.
“That’s right,” Brandon smiled, “May, after your grandmother.”
I was overwhelmed with information.
I felt like I had to sit down.
My body wobbled to the side, and I pulled Michael with me.
He stood there as I sat on the sofa.
“Are you alright?” Brandon asked.
What was I even supposed to say to that?
I had no idea if I was or not.
Michael let go of my hand to take the picture from Brandon.
He stared at it.
“Why haven’t I seen this picture before?” Michael asked.
Brandon made a face as he stared back at Michael.
“It wasn’t with the other pictures,” Brandon said, “After your father died, it took a huge toll on you.”
“Of course it would,” Michael snapped, “My father died.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Brandon sighed, “I just meant that seeing him wasn’t easy for you.”
“So you hid all of his pictures away?” Michael demanded.
I could hear the crack in his voice.
Something in me was urging me forward.
Help him.
Help him.
Help him how?
My body couldn’t move.
“After everything you’ve been through,” Brandon said softly, “The last thing we wanted to do was hurt you more.”
I saw Michael’s bottom lip tremble as he stared at the picture.
I wasn’t sure what to say.
Help him.
I don’t think Brandon did either.
Help. Him.
The room was quiet for a while until Michael spoke again.
“Does Benny know?”
-
-
Song:
(Papa Roach - Help)