Why we have a need to consume
Have you also noticed that in times of distress and stress we much easier turn to food, binging tv shows, overexercising, browsing mindlessly stuff that don’t even interest us? Well, yeah I guess most of us have already noticed that. Why do we do that? There are some great authors and inspirational speakers who are saying that we 1) don’t have certainty / stability created in general for ourselves so when we loose a ground below, we need desperately comfort , 2) negative thoughts / not loving yourself.
1) point is quite obvious. There are more and less healthier ways with dealing with (temporary!) instability, something happened and we just need to do something, be occupied with something, something easy, and then we do that just too much. What is that result of? That we didn’t learn how to ground ourselves so now we just try blindly do that. How to feel stable ourselves, without anyone else. That requires discipline and effort but once we master that, we don’t want to kill ourselves with those loads of sugar or hours of the same show on Netflix. Which, by the way, don’t make us even feel better. It is just that in that particular moment we can feel something, something different than that pain or whatever we felt. But after that you only feel worse, because you know you waste time and you harm yourself. You consume, consume, consume and after that you just want to vomit all that shit.
2) (Over)consuming can come without any particular stressful situation that would be distinctive too. This can be also when you feel like you need something, like you are not happy and you want to be, so what you are gonna do? You want something working here and now. You think you need to get something to feel better. So you give it to yourself. You will be watching tv shows, eating whole day ice creams or overexercising to get just something, some feeling, to feel alive.
As much as for the 1) case you must have heard so many times already, that you have to practice mindfulness, and I agree, I do that now and feel much more grounded, I build discipline and routine, and I know that all that work pays off because it is all for me and will never go away so I am doing my best. I meditate twice a day, I get up earlier without any alarm postponing, I walk to work and not go by bus, I make my own food, I read every day etc. This is one way on how to feel more stable. Build routine.
But you have to love yourself. And love OTHERS. How about reversing that and instead of consuming when you feel crap, you give? Please, please do that! It doesn’t have to be anything big straight away, just get the ball rolling. The fallacy in our thinking is that we are so sure we need something when we feel bad. In reality we are not giving enough, or not out of our heart (maybe guilt?). We can’t be loved if we don’t love. We can’t get if we don’t give, give out of our heart. Do something simple and available easily. For example, we say Internet is such an amazing source of information, you can find everything, yeah you can consume all that Internet, yep, how about giving something, showing some compassion there, simple gratitude like saying thank you under some post, really trying to be happy for happy people, sharing your knowledge in a respectful way, helping others and advising. Really, I mean simple things, like you would scroll through tens of pictures or posts and think about those people, “what an idiot...”, change that. Say that you are thankful (but don’t lie! you have to think content is good, just that now you admit that, you are not jealous). Really be interested in other people. After all we all are the same by nature, we all are Oneness. We just change because of various circumstances in our life. That doesn’t mean you have to interact with everyone, but rather be understanding that he is the way he is because things happened, don’t judge, understand. If you love other people, you will always be connected and you will not feel like you need something. Because, this is giving love that truly gives happiness, not receiving.
You buy stuff in a market, smile to that lady selling them, be kind, you cross the street, thank the driver, you are angry at someone - try to understand the point of view of another person. As much as that can be hard at first, that works, Even if you don’t feel like that, just do that. Just change your thinking, your attitude and be another person, person who gives and not consumes mindlessly to fill the void. Consume when you are ALREADY happy, not when you need happiness. If you want to become happy, you have to give. Do small things, that will give you energy for more.
And you will receive love back.
