not to do prettycourse, but i understand that brienne is supposed to be ugly, but i don’t understand grrm’s intentions with arya? i’m using anon bc i don’t want ppl to feel like i care about arya’s appearance just that i don’t understand 😭 sorry if this bothers u
you're good it doesn't bother me 🫰
arya is a 10 year old little girl who has "the stark look" while all four of her trueborn siblings take after the tullys. this serves to make her the odd one out among the children in a way that connects her to/brings her closer to jon, her favorite brother who she strongly resembles, and to her father.
the tullys are not objectively or consistently more attractive than the starks. the only tullys we hear about being valued as beautiful are actually cat and lysa, who i would argue are noted to be (or in lysa's case to have been) beautiful not because they have a genetically solid foundation for beauty but because they are women and part of their expected social role is making themselves beautiful. and they perform this social role successfully.
arya, unlike her older sister sansa, is not interested in investing her time and effort in performing idealized feminity. sansa, in addition to being a pretty little girl, is also adept at performing femininity. she sews and embroiders, she is well educated on westerosi histroy and on contemporary social politics. she takes care to make herself beautiful (something that i will point out here is noted very frequently as she is trying to get joff not to order the kingsguard to beat her, and something that sandor, also a brutalized child, encourages her to do).
neither sansa nor arya are great beauties because they are both little girls. but the way they present themselves and perform the genders assigned to them changes how they are perceived by the nobles they are surrounded with.
"Sansa was a lady at three, always so courteous and eager to please. She loved nothing so well as tales of knightly valor. Men would say she had my look, but she will grow into a woman far more beautiful than I ever was, you can see that. I often sent away her maid so I could brush her hair myself. She had auburn hair, lighter than mine, and so thick and soft . . . the red in it would catch the light of the torches and shine like copper.
"And Arya, well . . . Ned's visitors would oft mistake her for a stableboy if they rode into the yard unannounced. Arya was a trial, it must be said. Half a boy and half a wolf pup. Forbid her anything and it became her heart's desire. She had Ned's long face, and brown hair that always looked as though a bird had been nesting in it. I despaired of ever making a lady of her. She collected scabs as other girls collect dolls, and would say anything that came into her head. I think she must be dead too." When she said that, it felt as though a giant hand were squeezing her chest. "I want them all dead, Brienne. Theon Greyjoy first, then Jaime Lannister and Cersei and the Imp, every one, every one. But my girls . . . my girls will . . ."
acok, chapter 55, catelyn vii
in terms of their actual physical appearances, yes, sansa is prettier than arya. but arya passing as a little boy as she travels through the riverlands and then the free cities says less, imo, about her inate androgyny and more about the perceptions of those around her.
from the very beginning, arya's story is one that focuses on seeing and perceiving, and on being seen and perceived.
The septa examined the fabric. "Arya, Arya, Arya," she said. "This will not do. This will not do at all."
Everyone was looking at her. It was too much. Sansa was too well bred to smile at her sister's disgrace, but Jeyne was smirking on her behalf. Even Princess Myrcella looked sorry for her. Arya felt tears filling her eyes. She pushed herself out of her chair and bolted for the door.
Septa Mordane called after her. "Arya, come back here! Don't you take another step! Your lady mother will hear of this. In front of our royal princess too! You'll shame us all!"
agot, chapter 8, arya i
I hate riding," Sansa said fervently. "All it does is get you soiled and dusty and sore."
Arya shrugged. "Hold still," she snapped at Nymeria, "I'm not hurting you." Then to Sansa she said, "When we were crossing the Neck, I counted thirty-six flowers I never saw before, and Mycah showed me a lizard-lion."
agot, chapter 15, sansa i
when arya is escaping kl after ned's execution, yoren tells her that everyone is looking for a highborn girl, not a dirty little boy, so that is what she'll be
gendry knows arry is a girl but doesn't tell anyone he knows because he looks at and sees him
when roose bolton looks at a plainly dressed, underfed, scrappy little girl at harrenhal, he does not see lady arya stark who so greatly resembles her father, aunt, and cousin/bastard half-brother because he isn't looking at her. she is a lowborn girlchild. he would no sooner meaningfully observe a rock in his horse's shoe
sandor clegane, with his notorious stature, visibly and notoriously disfigured face, and well bred, beautiful, prohibitably expensive horse, is not recognized outside of the twins despite the national manhunt for him because why would a knight/lannister bannerman be sitting in a cart full of turnips wearings dirty clothes with a scrawny little boy?
meanwhile, sansa's journey is about the same problem of perception, but her solution is the opposite. rather than atuning her perception of the world to be as accurate as possible, sansa protects herself by turning away, hiding her true feelings, and shielding herself from reality
i actually have a tag dedicated to this parallel between all the starklings and how they deal with the reality of their situations and what kind of perspective/perception strategy saves them:
Posts on kingsmoot tagged as starks and seeing
all of this to say that arya's inability to fit into her social role as a noblewoman is based more on who she is than what she looks like. i don't think arya is ugly, i think she's a gnc child. i also don't think arya is secretly beautiful, just gnc. i think that's a purposeful misreading of the text and a weird petty "sansa sucks, actually!! arya qolab!!!" kind of attitude which i don't like.
i think arya is a plain looking gender nonconforming little girl, and i think other characters' perceptions of her are not a measure of her physical beauty but rather an indication of those other characters' preconceived notions, social roles, and powers of observation and empathy
i suggest reading these two excellent posts by my friend @branwinged
💬 0 🔁 76 ❤️ 217 · do you have any unpopular opinions regarding Arya what's your opinion on the death penalty type ask. well i think arya
💬 0 🔁 12 ❤️ 52 · arya being pretty but not receiving compliments bc she doesn’t like wearing dresses and is always dirty bc she likes to p
