#asexual info

[acexualien]

What is sexual attraction? Read to find out more!

This is a new multiple parts series where we’ll be exploring a multitude of different types of attractions! I hope you’ll enjoy ☺️

Disclaimer: slides 6 and 7 are not an exhaustive list of types of sexual attraction

You can support me by following me on my socials (link in bio) and engaging with my posts, thank you! 🩵

[merely-a-caricature]

Arousal and Attraction: How They Coexist with Asexuality

I know lots of people have wondered, “Can I be asexual if I experience arousal and/or attraction?” and the like.

Here I’ll discuss arousal in the sexual context, making distinctions between the different types of sexual arousal, talking about attraction, and explaining why arousal is not the same as attraction with asexuality in mind. Obviously, disclaimer if you’re uncomfortable reading about this type of thing. I don’t say anything very graphic, but if it makes you too uncomfortable, please don’t read. I am also by no means an expert. I just read some stuff (and experienced some things) and know some things and want to communicate it to y’all. Without further ado, let’s dive in.

Arousal

Arousal in psychology refers to more than sexual kind, namely a physiological reaction to a stimulus, but this post will be focusing on sexual arousal and is meant anytime I use the word arousal.

Arousal can be split into two kind of arousal: physiological arousal and subjective arousal. Physiological arousal is physiological response. Someone becomes warmer, their heart starts to race, and blood flow to their genitalia increases amongst other things in order to prepare for sex. This type of arousal is regulated by the autonomic and somatic nervous system. The autonomic nervous system deals with automatic functions, and the somatic nervous system deals with both voluntary and involuntary functions meaning that physiological arousal is uncontrolled and involuntary.

Subjective arousal on the other hand deals more with the mental and psychological aspect of arousal. This is when one’s mind and emotions are positively engaged in sexual activity.

I am aroace and have no experience with such arousal, but it would be looking at someone and thinking, “Wow, I want to have sex with them!” or something like that

Sexual attraction

Sexual attraction on the other hand is most simply defined as actively wanting to have sex when a specific person. It differs from libido or sex drive which is the general hunger for sex. Someone may feel sexual attraction for a variety of reasons, but they’re taking sexual interest in a specific person.

Arousal versus attraction

Arousal and sexual attraction are not the same; arousal is a physical or mental response to a stimulus, getting turned on whereas sexual attraction is not merely feeling physically excited but wanting to have sex with a specific person because you are drawn towards them. It is entirely possible to get by the actions of someone and have a physical response but not experience attraction and vice versa. This is called arousal non-concordance.

Asexuality, arousal, and attraction

Someone can be asexual and be aroused. The definition of asexual is someone who experiences little to no sexual attraction. Arousal is not the same as sexual attraction. Our bodies are programmed to behave a certain way to certain things and circumstances even if we feel emotionally and psychologically contrary to the matter. Just because asexual people, or anyone for that matter, experience certain bodily reactions does not mean they’re enjoying an experience, are experiencing sexual attraction or want sex. This argument demonstrates a lack of understanding of asexuality, attraction, and arousal.

I hope you were able to learn something from this and it didn’t feel too disconnected! It’s my wish that this helps people to better understand these terms, exactly what they mean, and how asexuality intersects with these topics! I would definitely encourage researching anything talked about here more on your own if it interests you, but I have linked some resources and articles covering what I’ve discussed here in more detail.

2/4/2025: Edited formatting and changed to be more concise

Resources:

American Psychological Association definition of sexual arousal

NCBI Understanding Arousal

AVEN Defining Arousal vs attraction

itsbido Sexual arousal vs. attraction: what’s the difference?

Embrace Sexual Wellness, LLC. Arousal Non-Concordance: It’s More Common Than You Would Think

AVEN: The Gray Area, Sex and Related Discussions subforum post regarding arousal non-concordance and asexuality

The truth about unwanted arousal Emily Nagoski TED Talk

AVEN post on the Frequently Asked Questions Thread about what sexual attraction took is and more

Sex Positive Psychology: Sexual Desire and Arousal - Same or Different?

[traceyshortfilm]

Hey all! We just added a new Spotify playlist, "Emo Jams".

Certain times, it's rough being ace, and those songs bring me solace when feeling belittled, ignored, or disrespectful. It's okay to be ace and emo sometimes. On a lighter note, we also have Ace Anthems, Ace Love Songs & Ace Podcasts playlists! Our Spotify: [x]

[traceyshortfilm]

What is asexuality?

We need your help to create our ace short film! Please contribute to our crowdfunding campaign or reblog, or both! <3 Thank you so much for your support!

[foreverdragon]

Our Mixed Relationship - Asexual and Hyper Sexual - posted in For Sexual Partners, Friends and Allies: Hello. I am -Fari- a 28 year old woman who is hyper sexual. I am in a marriage of 7 years with my husband -Kev-, 35 years old, who is an asexual. How we ended up on different spectrums in our connection was a surprise to us both - but I will share this personal story, our fears, our joy, our hope and our sadness. My story is long but I hope you enjoy it and read it all. Youll miss our con...

I found this when researching and wow was it an eye opener and a good read.