Has there been any discourse about how much Joyce was clearly emotionally relying on Hopper in season 2? Also I rewatched season 2, and noticed Jonathan/Nancy’s conversation in the motel room about how she waited for him initially. Hooboy. Me thinks Joyce was also waiting but Hop pushed her away (hiding Eleven). So she started dating Bob, but she never stopped relying on Hopper to support her.
A short answer to your question is this: Nancy waited for Jonathan, but Hopper was always the one who waited for Joyce.
I like the idea of her considering Hopper - at least in some sense - after season 1. At the same time, I think that Joyce is a nervous sort of person. Not to say that she isn’t trusting, but I think she would be wary of being in a relationship - especially one with someone like Hopper, at least after season 1. I genuinely think that her relationship with Lonnie sort of colored her outlook on relationships after that, and it made her a little more guarded. Not passive or weak, because I will never see Joyce as either of those things. Just guarded.
I think that Hopper finding El and feeling so strongly that he had to protect her made him closed off to other people in his life. It might have made him seem a little standoffish. After all, it’s an old Hopper standby that if you’re abrasive, no one can get close and see the most private parts of your life. So if Joyce wanted to take her time to make a call one way or another about Hopper, I think the window closed pretty quickly. If my theory is right, he would have clammed up pretty soon after Christmas, which means she would have had about a half of a month to decide if she wanted to ask him out.
I think that Bob became a thing because Bob was the bold one who initiated it. I want to believe that Joyce wasn’t sure if she had any interest in him, but she went on that first date anyway because he’s a nice guy, and he deserves a chance. It turned out really well, and I think she did genuinely care about him.
You know how you have some friends who you can stop talking to for months, or years, but then suddenly you see them one day, and that flood of affection comes back? I think that’s a great way to describe Joyce and Hopper. Regardless of if it was platonic or romantic, that bond was there. I think it stayed in a platonic way for Joyce; but I guarantee Hop was crazy about her. It kept them close enough that he went to Will’s visits, that Owens called him “Pop,” that Hopper was the one Joyce called. It was the bond that they both had gone through something, and if Joyce could trust anyone now, it was going to be Hopper.
That isn’t to say that there is any Bob bashing here. I loved Bob a whole lot as a character, and I think Joyce was starting to really love him. But I think Joyce falls in love slowly. I think that the honeymoon phase started to phase a little when Will was in danger, and Bob - poor Bob, blessed Bob - tried to help in the optimistic way he knew how, with jokes and puzzles and crowding. But Joyce didn’t need that, not during that moment. She needed a level head to bounce ideas off of; and that was Hopper.
If Bob would have lived, I don’t think they would have stayed together for a very long time. It wouldn’t be a big blow out breakup, just a quiet thing. A simple acknowledgement that maybe Hopper isn’t perfect for Joyce, but that the bond was unable to be ignored. I think around that time in season 2 was when she realized that she had potential romantic feelings for Hopper.
On another tangent, Hopper was very much not perfect for Joyce. That’s because Hopper isn’t perfect. He’s an incredibly flawed character who craves redemption, but doesn’t know how to go about getting it. That’s why I like him so much, and to quote an amazing fic that I can’t recall the name of right now: Joyce was a broken thing, and only a broken thing could hold her.
Wow! That was probably too long an answer, I apologize for rambling! But I very much appreciate the question. :)