Entry no.3 Teach An Old Dog New Tricks
I'm back! No I didn't go nowhere but I did forget about this thing over here so here's a Diary Entry I hope y'all like, names been changed to nicknames cause Doctor patient confidentiality and all that...enjoy!
Finally got someone into a therapy session! Well I didn't exactly get them to walk into my office and ask for my help...and I didn't tell them it was therapy...until afterwards but a happy client is a happy client. Amirite? Let me explain.
I saw Moss Penny had taken up his usual spot on the couch reading the paper and he seemed pretty content sat there and the Tower was fairly quiet thanks to a few small missions and training activities going on elsewhere. I started real subtle, asking how he was in a very general conversational tone, no notepad in hand, no doctor's coat or glasses, just two co-workers chatting. I think he thought I was flirting at one point but is there really any normal way to find out if someone's in a relationship and it not have underlying tones?
Anyway I started to push it a little further offering to make us both drinks and let him talk, slowly delving into his past little by little with nonchalant questions and comments. I call this technique Not Technically Therapy? I perfected it when I realised very quickly that some people close up faster than a small business on Thanksgiving when you even hint at the term so I could try and help people without them even realising! I tell them afterwards of course and sometimes they get a little hostile but not always.
So I continued, asking him if he'd really taken any time to think over all this stuff that had happened over the years and if he'd processed any of the after effects of these incidents and turns out, no. He really hadn't sat down to take it all in. I got him to open up slowly, keeping questions kind of open so they weren't definitive answers and it got easier over time.
He started being more candid about his real feelings, regrets, mistakes he feels he made, wishes and such. Such a young face but those eyes have lived a thousand lives over the years. I asked if these events rippled out into bad habits and such and he admitted they affected him in ways that led him to paths of addiction and bottling up his feelings, creating loneliness.
Wounds that are self inflicted are often the hardest to heal. Especially if you convince yourself they ain't worth healing. We tried an experiment where I asked him to pretend I was someone from his past he wished he'd stayed in touch with. It was quite beautiful watching him get more into the part and really pour out his feelings to me despite knowing the reality.
Eventually he realised bottling up these feelings ain't doing any good for nobody and he should open up more, let people in instead of seeing the world as cruel and uninviting. It's one thing to be cautious but another to be fearful. And he really seemed to get it.
And when I told him that was all basically just therapy he actually smiled and laughed, wondering why he'd been so stubborn before! It's nice to know you've gotten through to someone. And I told him that too, saying it can take days, weeks or months to get through to some people who are deep in denial and self-hatred.
So I guess I have a client now! A client happy to meet me in my office and just talk. It feels real good, I'll tell you. That's all for now.
Remember my door and my Asks are open for y'all!
Disclaimer: Not an actual therapist, Petra is a character, I am not a trained professional, just in case anyone wondered, just a bored Gen Z with too much time on her hands
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