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Alpha Dave would probably have to explain to John Crocker that normal humans don't speak in fish puns.

PPPPFFFFFTT YES HE WOULD!

A. Dave would just be talking to John C. normally and just get a bunch of fish puns back

AD: dude what are you doing

JC: clamly talking with you?

AD: “clamly” dude just say calmly

JC: shore

AD: did you just

Headcanon: John Egbert is Autistic. ~ E!JA

You know what E!JA? You are absolutely right and you should SAY it!

He would definitely have a blue and green fidget bracelet that he plays around with and occasionally chews on!

His special interests? Movies and the paranormal, but he would definitely have others that he would infodump about- like maybe coding?? Even though he isn’t great at it, but he wants to get better

Do you think he would be really sensitive to a lot of bright colours at once? That might add to his disdain of harlequins and such, and maybe due to the effects of the game? If I’m getting things wrong please let me know!

- Mod Sky

#ask preesh #homestuck #homestuck headcanons #headcanon #evil!john anon #mod sky #autistic john egbert #i am but a simple adhd so i apologise for anything i might have put that isn't actually an autistic trait #y'all are so amazing and y'all deserve so much respect #but yeah!!#GOOD HEADCANON #i am forever open to adhd/autistic john headcanons they are amazing and need to be talked about #thank you for the ask #honestly i REALLY like this one #and i am gonna get to the asks now!! i'm feeling better about college stuff and unus annus is ending soon so i'll have time again!!#i am gonna beat my inactivity i promise <3

The reason God-Tier Karkat is able to pose such a threat to Lord Egbert is because he, as a Blood Player, draws strength from his friends. Including John. Lord Egbert would have to rely on skill and trickery to win. Maybe he even tries to turn Karkat to his side. ~ E!JA

Ooo yeah huh!! I’m not all that great with aspects but yeah blood is TOTALLY like that, he would pose a big threat to John!

Oohohohohohohohohoho the thought.. the thought of John bringing Karkat to his side somehow.. the thought of that is so good, and the mental image too!! I LOVE that idea!!

Like Dave and co. would try hard to bring Karkat back only for John to twist his mind into joining his cause, imagine the BETRAYAL!!

#ask preesh #mod sky #evil!john anon #lord egbert #karkat vantas #john egbert #the thought of karkat being so strong because of his friends completely slipped my mind..#like.. knights serve their aspects right? would that make karkat STRONGER because his friends tried so hard to make him god tier?#in a way he'd have tp pay them back thus serving their friendship...? serving them because of the bonds they have..?#I don't know if I'm making sense but i think i may be making SOME sense?#like even so if that doesn't make sense like.. karkat's bond with them would grow stronger due to their quest to make him god tier #and the amount of trust he'd have in them when they have to kill him to make him ascend.. ooooohohoho #also excuse my dark mind ^^#but like.. the betrayal aspect of that.. is so good.. i love the sound of it as mean as that is #it would greatly help john's cause!!#i want john to win.. that's all i want <3 #thank you for the ask

You want some more content for our Magnificent Bastard boy? Well, here you go. One of the way Lord Egbert keeps his friends from investigating him is by bringing up Karkat's mortality to Dave. He sends Dave and Karkat on this long quest to make Karkat a God-Tier. This ends up biting him when he's on the cusp of victory. A mysterious God-Tier blasts John back with suprising strength at the last second. "ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN." He announces. "THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING." ~ E!JA

YES YES YES THIS! I LOVE THIS!

Like Karkat would, I’m sure, sorry everyone because of his mortality! People would be so scared for him so getting everyone to get him back (or more specifically Dave) would be John’s best bet! Ooohohohooh but as you said, the THROWBACK to Karkat’s “first” talk with John.. I love it so much!

But then there’s lil ol’ me wanting John to win, so like.. maybe John could bounce back from this setback somehow?

#ask preesh #mod sky #evil!john anon #lord Egbert #john egbert #homestuck #Dave Strider #Karkat vantas #I’m sorry this is so late!! I’ve been dealing with a lot and have been busy #but I said I’d do it tonight and I did!! :D #honestly dude thank you SO much for the food I love it so much #the throwback.. the throwback has me.. I love that a LOT #like I don’t ship davekat so i can just see everyone chipping in to save Karkat and keep him around #but like I’m flexible and am okay with ships so like if y’all want davekat then it’s chill #like Dave could see him as one of his best friends and just wants to make sure he’s safe #and John can just do his evil deeds behind their backs.. but then.. he has to deal with a Knight of Blood #another problem he has to deal with now 👀#but he can use dark dave against him!! he can use Karkat’s own weakness against him #it may not be HIS Dave but a Dave is a Dave right? heheh #imagine..! oh can you imagine it EJ!A? I can and it’s glorious #thank you for the ask #and please don’t let my late response discourage you I really didn’t mean it <3 #I love you and your ideas and you’re a valuable contributor to this blog #I care you so much ej!a :D

I somehow didnt realize what this blog was about. I iust saw a bunch of John and flollowed, only now to realize that this is the goal of the blog 😂

LMAO bro that is a MOOD!!

Oh to be anon who’s casually looking at a blog, sees the Johns and goes ‘ah yes, perfect :)’ and hits follow

Yeah dude we got John day in and day out, ain’t nobody seeing the flow of Egbert stop

- Mod Sky

#ask preesh #mod sky #anonymous #i need to up the daily posts to 6 i think #i've been meaning to do it for a while ow #now*#and i think it's time #anon clearly wants more john in their life #so let's do it #choo choo all aboard!!#thank you for the ask

the best thing is when ppl draw godtier john and expose a little bit of his tummy

I agree 100%! It is adorable and should be done more! This is dedicated to you, anon!

#ask preesh #preesh art #mod sky #homestuck #john egbert #homestuck john #homestuck john egbert #in reference to last post’s tags #if y’all don’t read my tags then what’re ya doing here #lol for john no worries i get’cha #by the way i realised i forgot to tag the last ask and as such it has been fixed!!#but yeah anon you are amazing for being absolutely correct #it is the BEST!!#as soon as i got this ask i knew i had to draw god tiered john with a lil bit of exposed tummy just for you #it is adorable and i am so glad i decided to use your ask as a prompt :D #i’ve done tons of traditional doodles with his lil tum tum exposed #not because of anything i feel on my end i just think it’s cute!#he’s the windy boy of course it’s gonna happen!! am i right??#you’re amazing anon i love you :D #thank you for the ask #and i am so glad you feel the same way <3 #didn’t get in the tags but that’s okay this is for anon

I can't believe John got announced for Smash.

this is much funnier when you consider you did not specify any version of john, anon, so you could totally mean the generic mspaint sprite of regular mortal john at the beginning of homestuck, and his introduction was just “A young man stands in his bedroom.” while all the undertale fans go crazy because let’s admit it here, any person who knows about toby fox most likely knows about Andrew Hussie too. now there is Minecraft steve, Sans, and John Egbert in smash.

what’s worse is that this makes smash double connected to the megalovania theme. nobody ever escapes the homestucks huh.

-Mod Max

#ask preesh #mod max #anon #HDJFHFJKASDFD I HAVE BEEN STARING AT THIS ASK ALL DAY #it made me cry in hysterics..#this was so ridiculously funny #JOHN EGBERT IN SMASH??? WHATS NEXT???#we already had the baby theme in pokemon...#can this year get any weirder..

John Egbert for President.

Heck yeah John Egbert for president!!

#ask preesh #preesh art #john egbert #homestuck #mod sky #i would have answered this a while ago but i got caught up!!#i hope you like the lil doodle anon haha #i dunno why i did a doodle but enjoy anyway #john would make a good president i think #he’s a good guy #unlike lord egbert #but he has his reasons heh #thank you for the ask #it was funny and well preeshed!

#ask preesh

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