remembering evil terrible pickup lines
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remembering evil terrible pickup lines
Hello there, ladies and gentleman, and welcome to the official Villainstuck roleplay and ask blog!
For those locked out of the loop, Villainstuck is where I take my favorite Homestuck characters and transform them into the next big bad of Homestuck. Head to my main @autisticsupervillain and scroll under the villainstuck tag for more details. Credit to @rabble-dabble for the header and @rogueofrageedits for the profile picture.
This blog currently has five muses, but I'll add more as I go along. Each is the villain of their own story and while I'll do interactions between them, those are to be considered non-canon and tagged as such. I'll list each of them below, along with a brief summary of their backstories and personalities for your convenience. I'll reblog the much longer, complete summaries for them from my main with the tag "origins" for you to check out later at your convenience.
Lord Egbert
After the events of the game, John Egbert falls into a depressive slump that seems endless. He's unsatisfied with his life on Earth C and decides to travel back in time with his Retcon Powers to fix it. Unfortunately, he finds he can't fix his life without screwing over someone else. So, he decides to become powerful enough to influence the plot so that he can give everyone a happy ending. To this end, he manipulates Lord English's remaining followers, gathers versions of his friends from doomed timelines to join him, and sets about stealing powers from people so he can rewrite reality. Despite his benevolent goals, he's utterly ruthless in his efforts to create a perfect world for everyone and he hides his guilt over such behind a facade of cartoon villainy.
The Cancer King
After being kidnapped and mentally abused by The Condescension during her invasion of Earth C, Karkat is left doubting his own self worth. This sends him into a self destructive spiral as he wallows in all of his past mistakes until he decides to travel back and erase them. This results in a horrific distopia, which only feeds his guilt complex. He decides that it's his job to fix every problem everywhere, for everyone, and sets about trying to gain control of the plot the same way Lord Egbert did. To this end, he recruits doomed versions of his friends to help him drain the life force from people all across Paradox Space, convinced that he can undo whatever damage he causes once he controls the narrative. Depressed and unfettered, Karkat becomes a far bigger threat than the Condesce ever could be in his quest to undo his mistakes and save the multiverse.
Madame Megido
While adventuring out with Sollux one day, Aradia discovers a prophesy explaning that Paradox Space exists in a loop. A big bad villain will rise up, cause mass destruction, threaten the multiverse, and eventually be stopped. The next villain in this loop? Aradia Megido. So, she enlists help from Sollux, Feferi, and John to try and break the loop, but, as her efforts continue to prove fruitless, she gets more desperate. She starts crossing some lines, even draining the life force from people. Her friends try to stop her, but Aradia is determined. She'll break the loop, she'll destroy fate itself, even if she has to betray everyone to get there.
The Makara Sisters
It all started out so well. Calliope had brought her God-Tier counterpart and Gamzee Makara to the main timeline in hopes of giving them the happy ending that they deserve, but when Tavros doesn't forgive him, Gamzee falls into a depressive slump. The Calliopes attempts to snap him out of it either don't work or actively make things worse, making them more desperate to help him. To this end, they search for the Debug Tool, an artifact that will allow them to remove Gamzee's problems from his very code. The problem is, they end up spreading an epidemic of deadly glitches across Paradox Space in their efforts to retrieve it. Inadvertently corrupting and destroying entire timelines. They continue their quest regardless, convinced the Debug Tool is the only thing that can save their father and Paradox Space. Completely oblivious to the fact that they are the biggest threat to both.
Queen of the House
After being manipulated by Mindfang into almost destroying the planet, Vriska is forced to resort to extreme measures to rebuild Earth C. Becoming protective of the new world she's created, Vriska becomes a dictator out to preemptively conquer the multiverse in order to protect her new world from it.
Villainstuck Theme Songs
Lord Egbert
Drift Away from Steven Universe
Cancer King Karkat
Monster by Imagine Dragons
Madame Megido
My Demons by Starset
The Makara Sisters
Fallen Angel by Three Days Grace
Queen of the House
The House Always Wins by The Stupendium
heres my take on @plugnuts ‘s lord egbert. im not good at character or clothing design, but hes supposed to look like a conductor. and, whether he likes it or not, LE.
Lord Egbert
Got another one for ya. Dark Dave dated Karkat in his timeline, so, seeing the two are growing closer, he tries to give John some romantic advice on what Karkat likes. Karkat sees Dave constantly trying to talk to John alone, assumes they're dating, and gives John advice on things Dave likes. John is clueless and confused. The girls are betting on who confesses first. ~ Evil!John Anon
karkat thinks he’s got it aaaaaall figured out.
oblivious karkat is my jam, I love an idiot who can’t sense when another person has feelings for them.
that wasn’t even a good pick up line and YET john still kissed him again after.
(hdjfahskldfjhaf thanks evil john anon you're giving my followers content)
Evil!John Anon coming straight from the Presh blog. I've got some Lord Egbert Johnkat content for you today. John totally has over the top villain throne. Karkat calls it ridiculous, so John gets Karkat a throne of his own to bring out his inner drama queen. Everyone notices the thrones are right next to each other and obvious king and queen jokes are made at John's expense.
...i. i didn’t google a villain throne.
oh the jokes. oh the sweet, sweet, terrible jokes. he’d never fucking live it down.
(and holy shit the evil john anon i’m pleased to be graced within your presences oh god oh fuck this is too much power)
It’s been a while since we’ve seen this dude