#ask warhammer

[ask-the-lord-of-iron]

My prowess is not in agriculture.

Please stop asking for my seed.

[askmagnus]

DAMN THESE CRABS AND DAMN WHOEVER GAVE THEM TO ME!

When I find you, please take comfort in the fact that what I do to you shall be so profound and so unique and so well documented that it will advance human knowledge by thousands of years…

[ask-lupercal]

You good? You been quiet for a week.

Thank you for asking that friend!

I have been catching up on what has happened since my consciousness went dark.

There has been much to process.

Much to consider.

[ask-the-lord-of-iron]

*dreamy sigh* you're a very funny man, man, Perturbando. Very handsome funny man... Let me see that Iron pole

Since you did not spell my name correctly I hold out hope that this was a message that was sent to me in error.

Sadly, I do not believe that is the case.

If it was in fact sent to me deliberately that I must ask in the interest of stopping any future such messages:

What is everyone’s preoccupation with my penis

Here are the basic specs:

18.3” x 6.1”

Not cosmetically altered; either surgically or in due to aesthetic trimming.

Testicles 5.4” x 4.1” x 3.7”

It is a very normal penis for my size, age, and build. My brothers have all seen it many times. I have seen theirs. Father insisted on group sauna time when we visited.

This is the last question I expect to be asked on the subject.

[askmagnus]

Dearest followers, students, lovers, and friends…

I apologize for my absence…

I have been languishing was splitting migraines…

I do not know whether these are natural pains, or pangs of psychic interference…

That’s sad all who can treat me or treating me…

And if I have to, I will be my own physician…

But never worry… I will always return…

[ask-the-lord-of-iron]

((what have I started?? Seriously tho, this is cracking me up, Perturabo would 1000% show his dick if it meant proving he was bigger than Dorn's. I love this fuckin blog))

This is objectively right and true. There is nothing crude about it. This is pure objective science, no matter what any of my jealous brothers tell you.

[Transcribers note: thank you very very kindly! Really I just write down what he says!]

[askmagnus]

soooo about the change size thing...if i ask you to get smaller so i acn kabedon you, would you do it or nah?

Theoretically, I suppose so.

Unless of course, I consider it more advantageous to pin you against the wall…

[askmagnus]

To whoever keeps throwing extremely ancient coins at me when my back is turned…

You have proved whatever point you’re trying to prove…

Yes, they bounce off it…

Stop