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Soft Chocolate Cake made with Askanya Dark Chocolates http://bit.ly/1PgPBt4

Soft Chocolate Cake made with Askanya Dark Chocolates

Soft Chocolate Cake made with Askanya Dark Chocolates Be still, Gemma! I have wanted to bake with Askanya Chocolates for a long time and could not find the right recipe to modified or could not get …

#cake #recipes #baking #askanya #chocolate #valentinesday

I feel really guilty when I eat. It started out with things like cake or pizza, but last night I actually cried because I ate a can of chickpeas that I'd promised myself that I could have as a special treat on Friday. I'm not sure about seeing a doctor because my younger sister had bulimia and the doctor's solution was to ask her to promise him she wouldn't do it again. I can't really promise guilt away. Long story short- should I see about seeing (maybe a different) doctor?

Guilt is one of those natural emotions we have that, in small doses, keeps us in line and prevents us from doing excessive and indulgent behaviour. In excess, however, it can be severely disabling, and prevent one from leading a fulfilling and happy life.

It sounds to me, from your little excerpt, that you are on the ‘excessive guilt’ end of the spectrum. Things like cake or pizza are not good on a daily basis, or in excess, but to enjoy them every now and then is perfectly ok. I know I’m not a huge fan of chickpeas, but I’m pretty sure no dietician ever classified them as a ‘treat’ or a food one should feel guilty about eating! I think the fact you felt so guilty you cried (and that it was over chickpeas) is quite concerning.

A healthy response to an overindulgence would be to evaluate why it happened, and realise why the indulgence was excessive, and then make some form of resolution to show some restraint in the future. Again, don’t misunderstand me here- indulgences are good. In moderation. They make life enjoyable.

I want to tell you about my friend, because it’s sometimes easier to see the problem in another, than ourselves:

One of my good friends had anorexia a few years ago. I remember watching her excessive guilt over food. She has since overcome her eating disorder, but the guilt has remained. Only days after our gruelling final medical exams, she was crying on my bed because she felt guilty about not studying (even though we were on holiday and had no exams coming up!). It has been very sad to watch her holding back from not living her life to the fullest, because she feels too guilty to take time away from study/do anything she classes as ‘non-productive’ in an acadmic sense. Unfortunately, she cannot see this behaviour is counter-productive. Being a good doctor is 30% book knowledge, 70% common sense and people skills. Do you think her guilt has served her well in the end?

This leads me to your doctor question. Your doctor is clearly lacking in communication skills. Unfortunately, many doctors are experts on the human body, but have no idea when it comes to dealing with people. Ironic, huh? I suggest you shop around until you find a doctor whom you have a good rapport with. It’s important to have a good doctor whom you trust, regardless of any medical or psychological issues.

For your guilt, I actually think a psychologist would be better suited to helping you deal with your problem- particularly one who will challenge your negative thoughts. Basically, you need help to ‘reset’ your way of thinking. This kind of therapy is called ‘CBT’ and I think it would be very useful for you. Again, like doctors, you may need to shop around until you find a psychologist who suits you.

I personally dislike those who don’t baby the patient (the ‘poor you’ approach) but prefer those who are more direct- those who make you realise that you are not an abnormal person, but a normal person, who has developed an abnormal behavioural response, and simply need some help in resetting it. I think it’s important to remember that.

Finally, I just want to say that life is far too short to hold onto guilt. I can guarantee you that when you are 70 (I assume you're not there yet) you will not remember that can of chickpeas. You will not remember any of these small indulgences, nor will you care. What you will remember and regret, however, is if you hold back from enjoying your life and living it the best you can, because you let guilt get the better of you.

Don't cry over spilt milk. Life's far too short for that. What's done is done. Evaluate why it happened, learn from it, and move on.

All the best!

Anya

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