#askcrandle

[advice-from-crandle]

you still talking questions

"Yes, yes, a hundred times yes. I get lonely with no one to talk to."

[advice-from-crandle]

ned from try guys cheated on his wife

"Imagine having slowly descended from an apelike being, helped along in finger dexterity and mental cleverness by my own kind, crafting an omniscience machine that works by sending lightning through crystal, and using those aforementioned dexterous fingers to painstakingly press each symbol, each symbol developed over thousands of years to represent a sound, which when strung together in markings or in speech can express any thought, sensation, or happening in the universe. And you use it to inform me of infidelity."

[advice-from-crandle]

why you have hollow eyes?

"I don't have eyes at all."

[advice-from-crandle]

"I'm out of questions. Anyone care to send in some more?"

[advice-from-crandle]

i have a zit on my face how do i get it off

"That's an easy one. Take an aspirin. As in grab one, don't swallow it."

"Crush the sucker to smithereens!"

"Mix it with a little bit of water to make a kind of gritty paste. Don't eat it."

"Then apply to the inflamed area. It'll kill the bacteria and make it go away in a couple of days. Sounds good?"

[advice-from-crandle]

What do I do if someone I care about is hurting? Is there a way I can help them/support them?

"I find sometimes the only thing you can do..."

"Is send them a note telling them you love them."

"It won't make it all better, but it will make it a little better."

[advice-from-crandle]

How much money do you get form this?

"As much as I care to make. It doesn't last long though, and there's nothing to buy."

[advice-from-crandle]

hey you married

"To the job!" "...Also, I'm the only person here."