#asker:

[this-is-multigenderphobia]

not specifically multigenderphobia but its just the creepy obsession people have with trans peoples genitals, what gender they were raised as and whatever

im agender transmasc but online i just say agender because people somehow assume i have a vagina if i say im transmasc. same with how they assume every transfem has a penis or was born with one. its even worse when youre a boygirl or multigender in general because they get confused and try to assume whats in your pants by your interests or whatever. ive even seen other trans people do it, i had transmascs asking me what genitals i was born with in order to know if i relate to their experiences

i hate that i cant even publicly identify as transmasc because of peoples stereotypical ideas. i will never say what my genitals are, even anonymously, and id probably freak out if someone assumed i had periods just because im tmasc. i cant believe penis and vagina, literal body parts, has become a strict binary that people will try to put you in. its intersexist as hell too

CO-SIGNED. This is transphobia, exorsexism and intersexism as well as general bioessentialism.

Mod reply

The fact that there were whole posts dedicated to assuming someone's genitals from like their interests is absolutely vile because it's like, nothing you do gets to be without a gendered assumption anymore, everything is deeply scrutinized within the trans community. Honestly I hate how we went from "what someone lived as before they came out is none of your business" to "if you dont tell me every detail of your body and how you were raised Ill assume you're faking or are evil". Like, there are discussions in which that comes up, but then you'll get this insistence from people to know constantly regardless of relevance or your comfort and it's just fricking vile.

Personally I also hate it because instead of listening to people's experiences, some people decide whether or not to believe what you say based on what genitals you have, which is absolutely wild. No one is entitled to information about a trans person's body. Ive mentioned once that I got paranoid with putting boy before girl or girl before boy when talking about myself because people might try to read into it to see "what I was born as". What I was born as is non binary thank you very much and Im bigender, you dont need to know anything more to respect me and my identity.

[this-is-multigenderphobia]

When people talk about non- medically transitioning non-binary people "having it easy" it upsets me so much because my ideal body is not easily achievable with "standard" hrt and gender affirming surgery and even if it was I'd always be visibly trans and therefore at risk. I'm not saying binary trans people have it easy but the trans community at large doesn't seem to take non-binary dysphoria seriously or labels it inherently sexual or transmisogynistic to want mixed sex characteristics

This is exorsexism and multigenderphobia. @thisisexorsexism

Mod reply

Oh yeah, it upsets me too, especially because it treats not wanting to transition and not being able to transition as the same thing, while they are most definitely not. The idea that non binary people who dont plan on medically transitioning having it "easy" is tied to seeing our identity as less real, because it's connected to the idea that to be seen as cisgender people of our socially imposed gender is desiderable or at least doesnt count as misgendering. It's so tied to the idea that non binary people dont "need" to be socially acknowledged as non binary so being seen as cis binary isnt "being in the closet/hiding/misgendering", as would be the case with monobinary trans people, but rather a convenient escape from transphobia. I could actually talk about this all day.

I agree with you anon, non binary dysphoria is not taken seriously or is seen as "fetishization" of monobinary trans people's bodies.

I might write more tomorrow about this topic because it's very late where I am, but do know that I feel your frustration and anger and it's so so valid

[this-is-multigenderphobia]

People saying a character uses any pronouns as an excuse to misgender them. Like… if you’re gonna say you think Kris Deltarune uses any pronouns, I better see you using any pronouns… pull out the neopronouns too, coward

This is exorsexism.

Mod reply

Omg. I love deltarune but this, I keep seeing this. "They use any pronouns so I can just use one binary pronoun for them the whole time" and like, that's not, how it works. Honestly anon what pisses me off the most is "they're non binary because you can project your gender on them" which is said abt Frisk and Chara too and it makes me so upset, treating non binary as not a real identity that a character can have.

[this-is-multigenderphobia]

might not be specifically multigenderphobia, but as a kid i once saw news where it said in japan they divide trains wagons into "men" and "women" to keep women safe from harassment, basically gender seperatism in a train

i didnt mind it back then as a kid and even thought it was useful, but coming back to it now that might the dumbest thing ive ever heard. we already have to deal with gendered restrooms in public and even trains arent safe? where do they put enbyspec or multigenderspec people then? i dont think they even know we exist tbh

also istg "keeping women safe from harassment" is the stupidest excuse for that shit ever. if they actually cared about people then they would acknowledge women are capable of harassing other women and men can get harassed too. seperatism and exclusionism will help no one

This is bioessentialism, that also feeds into multigenderphobia.

Mod reply

I agree, I dont think they're aware of our existence. It's also my issue with stuff like "you want this manly guy in the woman's bathrooms lol" because like,,, a non binary person could look like that. Hell, a cis woman could be out w muscles and a full beard and still be nothing but cis. And then heaven forbid you tell them a guy is also a girl. The idea that women (but only the ones they like) have to be kept from harassment and harm, because people do see the issue of how sexism affects women in society, but then turn around and go "so we'll create places that are woman-exclusive because the danger lies in the inherent nature of the men" and absolutely refuse to address any of the actual causes and ways sexism is structured in society. It's like, such a performative thing, because you're not solving anything, just using gender essentialism and bioessentialism to provide a temporary and half baked solution and then pat yourself on the back and keep upholding sexism. No thought into it.

EDIT: this is the addition of another anon, not the same as above, who wanted to add context to the original ask.

Not the anon from here, but I think this is both multigenderphobia and context for WHY that is a thing needs to be added to the original post. Japan is a pretty conservative country, it's just not the same conservatism than the US so people often don't recognize it as such. The reason why they have segregated train cars is due to how common sexual harassment and assault is on subways and trains. The trains are extremely crowded and predators of any gender take advantage of the crowding in order to sexually assault people. Most of the time, the cases tend to be cis perisex men sexually assaulting people they see as cis perisex women and girls (Typically, minors and young adults). The words for this are commonly chikan or chijo depending on the binary gender of the assaulter. It's a solution to a problem that is not perfect, but I do not like people who don't understand why this was tried just talking about it as if it was for no reason with the anon in the linked post.

[this-is-multigenderphobia]

having she/he as my pronouns means being constantly asked "are you tme or tma" or "what's your agab" or literally just "what's in your pants" sometimes

This is multiphobia (and good ol bioessentialism!)

Mod reply

God forbid they cant understand on which side of their binaries to put you! God forbid they dont know if to treat you like a woman or a man! God forbid it comes to their mind to treat you as a human being!

Just really shitty treatment all around. They need to know what assumptions to make about you, especially based on "what's in your pants". After that, they'll be able to deduce what experiences you had and couldnt have had, and what stereotypes and prejudices to apply. /Sarcasm

Im really sorry anon. I hope we can get to that era where everyone responded to this stupid question with funny quips and nobody in the community took it seriously.

[this-is-multigenderphobia]

Multigenderphobia is people saying "men can't be lesbians."

This is multigenderphobia.

[this-is-multigenderphobia]

Multigenderphobia is being asked to "pick a gender" or the typical "ok I'll just use they/them". I am genderfluid. Using they/them pronouns even when I have told someone that I would prefer he/him today is still misgendering me. Yes, my gender is not constant, but that does not mean that it is "too confusing".

This is multigenderphobia.

I truly do not think it's that hard to just use he/him if someone told you to. You may slip up, but that's different than refusing to try.