#asklordshen

[lordshenreal]

Shen, should pineapple go on pizza?

Shen signals for Wolf Boss to get him a pizza with pineapple on it and takes a bite out of one of the slices. He promptly retches.

"BLAUGH! DISGUSTING! HOW CAN ONE EAT SOMETHING WITH SO MUCH GREASE?! I FEEL AS IF MY VEINS HAVE CLOGGED!"

Meanwhile, Wolf Boss is standing in the corner, eating a meat lover's pizza.

"Uhhhhh not sure sir. Guess it's the toppings?"

"Well the pineapple tasted awful. Combine that with the greasiness of that excrement, it was almost like putting wolf dung in my mouth."

".....How do you know-"

"IT WAS A FIGURE OF SPEECH YOU IMBECILE!"

[lordshenreal]

Why did you threw that throne off the balcony

"It was the last remnant of my father's rule. An embodiment of all the false promises he made me."

"..."

"HOW ARE YOU ALIVE-"

[lordshenreal]

Shen, right I’m not being funny or nothing, but why did you get your wolf mates to “search the farthest villages” for more metal when ikea is a thing? like for real you can pick up a set of pots n pans for a decent price, there’s no need to get them travelling all that way, their feet will be aching by the time they’re back and therefore the process of your cannon making will be slower, i just feel like that would be more efficient xxx

plus one of them literally kicked two bags of metal off a cliff just so he could ride up into the sky, i’d get him sorted if i were you xx

Shen has transformed into a marketable plushie from the confusion of listening to that.

[lordshenreal]

Can’t wait for you to meet your ancestors in the spiritrealm

“History: lost the ships, lost the throne, lost the castle, died without a heir, lost the peacock legacy, lost dignity drowned in water” ‘Hell0’

Note: The person who sent this ask has just been executed for treason.

[lordshenreal]

(To WB and Shen) what did you thought of eachother when you first met? Did those thoughts changed or were you right about them

"We were both shunned, so I saw somewhat of a kinship with him. He has been my only friend for my entire life."

"Yeah, wolves didn't have the best reputation back then. Heck, we still don't have a good reputation. Probably since we're-"

Wolf Boss stops mid-sentence. Shen shoots him a dirty look but that's it.

"So yeah, when Shen and I first met, I thought he was faking since he was the only other person besides my parents to treat me with any kinda niceness."

"My thoughts have not changed. I still see him as a good friend."

"Yeah, same here. Only he's my boss so I see him like that also."

----------

The best of friends.

No matter how much they may be lying.

Thanks for the ask!

[lordshenreal]

I think you are rather beautiful Lord Shen :)

Shen's eyes widen for a moment as he places his wing on his chest.

".....I....uh-"

"Are you attempting to get something out of me?"

[lordshenreal]

(to wolf boss) HE THROWS KNIVES AT Y- WHAT???? My dude I'm not trying to sell a propaganda here but good god one day that's going to get you killed if he DOESN'T miss. That's the thing with evil bosses and their minions will it kill them to be nice to their workers every now and then?

Wolf Boss didn't even bother to respond.

PS, your execution date has been set for next week.

---------------

Thanks for the ask!

[lordshenreal]

Here's some incorrect quotes I generated from an incorrect quotes generator

Some of them I may have edited for this post for whatever reason .

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"Date someone who will drag you outside at 3:AM to look at the stars."

"If anyone, and I mean ANYONE drags me outside at 3:AM, I will have them removed from my life indefinitely."

-------------

"How do I deal with my enemies?"

"Kill them."

"That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution."

"Kill them only a little."

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"Oh, just so you know, it's very muggy outside."

"Shouxing, I swear, if I step outside and all our mugs are on the front steps-"

*Sips tea from bowl.*