#askmrtorgue

[khajiitmerchant]

The electric guitar is just out of frame. Meedlemeedlemeedleemmmrrroooouuu!!

[ckret2]

HOLY MOTHER OF EXPLOSIONS LOOK AT THIS! IT IS RESTAURANT FOOD THAT I BOUGHT WITH MY OWN MONEY BECAUSE I'M AN ADULT WITH A JOB. FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE IS BADASS AAAAAAH

@askmrtorgue

[lilbittymonster]

#F*CKYEAH2016 HERE I COME! What's my badass skill? TAKING BADASS ROCKS AND PUTTING THEM IN METAL SO YOU CAN WEAR THEM!!! MOWMOWMOWMEEEEEDLEEEDLMOWOWOWOW!!!!! Bonus shot of the labradorite ring BECAUSE ITS A GODDAMN BADASS STONE!!!

[keepbreathingky]

Up on the house-top *KABLAMSHRAKAPOW!* HAPPY MOTHERF*CKIN HOLIDAYS!! MEEDLY MEEDLY MOWWW!

[ophibell]

I'M A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED HE'S JUST A BLUEPRINT VENDOR, BUT AT LEAST HE HAS USEFUL THINGS TO SELL!

[roastedtoast54]

LOGIC UNAVAILABLE

[piratelyactions]

askmrtorgue is one of the greatest blogs on this site and is an inspiration to all of us

[doubledrunkduck]

ALRIGHT TORGUE HERE'S THE DEAL

YOU'RE HOSTING A BUNKERS AND BADASSES GAME AND I WANT IN. BRACE YOURSELF TO READ ABOUT MY CHARACTER CAUSE THIS SH*T IS GONNA ROCK YOUR WORLD.

DESCRIPTION TIME, GO:

HE'S A HUMANOID CROCODILE WITH TOTALLY KICKASS PECS AND BICEPS AND TRICEPS, AND WHATEVER THOSE THINGS BETWEEN YOUR WRISTS AND ELBOWS ARE CALLED, SO HE CAN GET ALL UP IN THE ENEMY'S BUSINESS WITH HIS TEETH AND ARMS.

ALSO HE'S A WIZARD, WITH A BADASS BLACK HOOD AND ROBE, AND THE ROBE HAS A FLAME DECAL RUNNING UP THE HEM, BECAUSE THAT IS SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN TO MAKE HIM GO FASTER!

ALSO HE'S NOT JUST A WIZARD, HE'S ACTUALLY A FIST WIZARD, WHICH MEANS ALL OF HIS SPELLS REVOLVE AROUND PUNCHING, BASHING, SMASHING, AND OTHER SYNONYMS FOR HITTING THINGS WITH YOUR HANDS.

ALSO HE'S GOT A THING FOR PUPPIES, AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!

      5. HE'S SUPER ANGRY ALL THE TIME, BUT HE'S NOT A JERK.

HIS NAME IS GORDO, AND HE WILL PUNCH THE F*CK OUT OF THE BAD GUYS WITH HIS SPELLS.

SO IF YOU WANT A KICKASS, ANGRY, CROCODILE FIST WIZARD IN YOUR CAMPAIGN, AND WHO WOULDN'T, THEN CONTACT ME ASAP BECAUSE I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU AS A BUNKER MASTER! THANK YOU FOR THE OPPORTUNITY, YOU BADASS MOTHERF*CKER!