#asknoon

[forced-conforming]

my mouth already watering just thinking about whatever you might present to us next

happy perv rosekiller sunday my love 🫶🫶🫶

since you already have exclusive nsfw access to the kitchen, you already know what's cooking, but i’ll be so generous and share two snippets with the class, because you asked so nicely 😌 (everybody say “thanks han!”)

oh? yeah, you read that right, i’m writing james pov, but don’t let it fool you. he’s a fucking asshole and such a stupid jock. i hate him. (ugggh i love him. just one chance jamesss come onnn!!!) and trust him and me when we say barty is the main attraction in this fic, okay?

[forced-conforming]

Hi 🫶🫶 hope your afternoon is good ✨️

Im here to ask if you have any wip crumbs for us ?

Can you just yap about literally any of your rosekiller wips pretty please (im batting my eyelashes) I miss your rosekiller terribly 😪

hiii mossy 🙌

it's already evening night (because i took forever to answer) here. (and daylight savings time has fucked me up today, i always forget about it and then it's like i entered another dimension over night)

wips? oh man... i mean, i have a lot and i haven't touched most of them in over a year. i also haven't really picked up anything new yet. i've been busy with self-cest evan (hehe) and i'm catching up on some things i wanted to read forever to reset my brain a bit.

i started working on character sheets for the dj evan fic (🎧die liebe kommt nicht aus berlin (5%)) though. the outline still needs more development before i can actually start writing, but i really want to, simply because the smut scenes i have planned are premium freak quality. and i think i finally need to give in to the age gap urge (just a little bit). also the playlist is going to be peak, so...

in terms of multi chapter wips here's what i have, the % indicate how much the idea/draft is actually developed:

🍕bad medicine (40%): rosekiller as (the worst) drug dealers (basically my take on a stoner movie) i think out of all ideas this would be the most fun to write.

🚓the son of rage and love (20%): rosekiller as cops (don't worry, their main profession is pining for each other and doing the most corrupt shit)

🌊sleep, reverie, vertigo & drunkenness (30%): evan hates (...uh huh) barty so much he has to fuck him out of his system (and kinda crash a wedding with their bs)

👧🏼about a girl (20%): pandora dies (sorry!!) and evan becomes luna's guardian (xeno is in delulu land) and he's absolutely not at a point in his life where he can take care of a child. luckily barty is a social worker and supports him (that's the initial idea, but i'm not super happy with it, i think i'll rewrite it and add a supernatural factor...)

🐴guns and roses and bad things (1%): rosekiller cowboy au. i haven't thought much about it, but i LOVE red dead redemption and spaghetti western. (and i think i kinda owe roadkill barty his life as a cowboy)

👼dogma au (0.01%): i saw ONE bartleby gif yesterday and it's all i've been thinking about for the last 24h... basically my goal in life is to write a rosekiller version of every film kevin smith ever made. and i think it would be incredibly funny to make snape metatron (alan rickman played both).

apart from those i still have some roadkill b-sides and other one shots on my mind, which i'll just push out whenever the mood strikes.

let me know if you want me to yap about any of these in more detail i gladly will, because i miss them too, so fucking much!

[forced-conforming]

hiii happy easter hope youre having a good time this weekend 🫶🫶🫶

Im still thinking about roadkill and now im wondering if there was little bits of foreshadowing/something you wanted us to notice but we didnt

Maybe a weird question idk I was just thinking if I made hints that no one got i would want everyone to appreciate my genius. 🤷‍♀️

happy easter mossy! 🌷🌷🌷

or happy doomed yaoi invention day, as i like to call it. (judas really did a thing there) speaking of doomed yaoi, yes there are actually some things i planted in the earlier chapters of roadkill that foreshadowed events that happened later.

the first thing that comes to mind is when barty and evan talked about different animals ending up as roadkill in the second chapter, specifically when they talk about the cat:

now, me personally, i ride the regulus is a black cat train till the day i die.

so let’s take a look at exhibit b:

Barty shrugs. "Look, if you kill a cat and it looked at you first — locked eyes with you? Then yeah. You're cursed. Nine lives of bad luck. That's a fact."

"Barty didn't like the way the light died in Regulus's pretty grey eyes when they locked on his…"

tsk… shouldn’t have looked into reg's eyes before he died i guess, so nine more lives of bad luck for dear bartemius. i wonder what that means…

other than that i don't want to share more now. i like people to speculate and point out things even i didn’t notice but wrote subconsciously.

thanks for the ask, mavis! have a great weekend! 🫶

[forced-conforming]

Hehehehehehehe

From the roadkill b-sides, therapy pretty please? 🥺 (or if someone already asked about that one, driving lessons? but I'm SUPER intrigued by Therapy hehe)

-- @four-toast

heheh hi toast or shall i say doc, given the occasion? so glad you asked about this!

(all roadkill b-sides are one-shot prequels or sequels)

i haven’t actually started writing this one yet, but i have a pretty clear idea of what’s going to happen and the vibe.

roadkill b-sides: Therapy

Therapy gives a glimpse into the therapy sessions between dorcas and evan and, by extension, pandora. it’s made up of short moments from multiple sessions over a longer period of time from inside the psychiatric ward. the pov constantly switches between evan and dorcas to show the disconnect between evan’s hallucinations and the actual reality.

evan’s pov is hazy and detached, since he's completely riding the high of whatever drug cocktail dorcas pumped into him. in his mind, pandora is physically present in the room with them, acting as the deeply concerned sister who is confiding in dorcas and trying to find a way to help her brother and get him out of this “prison”. even from evan’s pov, dorcas’s reactions seem entirely genuine. she listens to pandora, talks back to her, and treats them as two entirely separate, real entities. of course, as a professional doctor who specializes in psychotherapy and psychotropic drugs, dorcas just plays along to keep evan stable and to avoid aggravating him.

when the pov switches, we see how dorcas actually observes evan and how he’s switching between personalities. it happens much more violently and frequently than it did in roadkill. she intentionally acknowledges the split and addresses both evan and "pandora" respectively just to keep him compliant. they talk about his childhood, his upbringing, his relationship to his father and his mother and grand-mére, and sometimes even about the events of the night at the river. though dorcas might not always be successful in the beginning. evan has aggressive, violent outbreaks where he tries to attack her or harm himself. this happens especially when she touches on the topic of pandora’s death. of course, there are guards who are immediately on him to stop him, but it leads dorcas to changing up his drugs or upping the dosage until he adjusts and reaches a level where she is able to calmly talk to pandora while evan retreats to the back.

or at least, that’s what dorcas thinks is happening.

pandora (and evan by proxy) are much more aware of what’s going on than dorcas thinks or than they will let her know. they intentionally manipulate her. pandora figures out it’s easier if she talks to her rather than evan. poor dorcas doesn’t realize that pandora is the real threat, not evan, and that it might even be her own fault, because of the drugs he’s experimenting with.

over a long stretch of time, we see dorcas’s own descent. (this is, of course, heavily inspired by the dynamic between the joker and dr. harleen quinzel (aka harley quinn)). though, dorcas doesn’t fall for evan, she falls for pandora, while the isolation and their intense sessions wears her down, her own mental health slips, in order to stay focused she starts using her own drugs. she’s a doctor, she should know better, and she should stop the experiments and distance herself, but at that point, she’s in too deep with the rosier twins. eventually, the lines blur completely and pandora starts manifesting in dorcas’s pov even when evan isn’t switching. at that point, dorcas has lost her grip on reality completely and descended into evan’s delusion.

the final scene is dorcas and pandora plotting their escape shortly before the events of roadkill take place.

thank you for the ask, keira. whenever i start writing this, expect me to be asking you all kinds of questions on the topic!

[forced-conforming]

I said id put it down but I lied.

Barty 'Attention Whore' Crouch Jr. UGH I LOVE THIS PART‼️‼️ his daddy issues are SO DEEP he'll literally do anything won't he?

Care to yap about this? Maybe youll want to wait for chapter 10. I just love this omg I think its one of my favourite lines that reveals so much. (Perhaps you had a different intention than im thinking when you wrote this? Maybe its fairly inconsequential) UGH I NEED TO KNOW

Also I never mentioned your age once in my comment you came up with the granny part on your own☝️ Seems like someone's projecting hehe

tl;dr

asking me to yap about my favorite little brat and stepson?? of course i will. lemme just sit down in my rocking chair.... alright. (nah, i'm rocking this chair now, but in rocking🤘kind of way, y'know... ugh, cringe please pull the plug already.)

to me this part tells us, that there is still a side of barty (at least at that point in time) that feels remorse, but he's helpless. he has tried so very hard to suppress these urges, but he can't stop them. (if you ask me, he hasn't really tried hard at all...)

the father horace event, what he did that day and the feelings he felt, are on his mind constantly. even though, that was really more of an impulsive knee-jerk reaction (i had to google that word, wtf?) it definitely unlocked something in him, but he also felt torn.

i don't think rk barty was the kind of kid that killed small animals to dissect them, actually quite the opposite, i think he was really soft. (yeah, BCS, go ahead blame it on his mother)

when he was four, barty found a sleeping raccoon in the garden. it looked so peaceful and it had such soft fur that he started petting it. then he showed his new raccoon friend to his mother and she totally freaked. the raccoon was dead and she had to explain to him what death was. barty cried his little eyes out for days. (in case you ever wondered why barty has sympathy for raccoons... from the "ask noon to make you cry in 100 words or less" vault 🥲)

anyway, i think that's part of the reason he got away with the horace situation in the first place, no one would've suspected him. the classic "oh he's such a nice little lad" but in actuality he's a psychopath type of guy. (well, that, and because BCS has made sure, that this can't be linked to his son in any way. i have no idea how he does it, but BCS is always two steps ahead...) but i digress...

his "meetings" with father horace were definitely some type of religious conversion therapy. maybe BCS suspected something, maybe the school was suspicious of him and reg. i don't know man, but basically one thing led to another and the whole thing spiraled...

the day barty was called into BCS's office he was so fucking scared of what he had done and his father's punishment. at that point he was already obsessed with the thought that he would be punished, he anticipated it. so when he enters the office, he truly thinks BCS is either gonna make him spend the rest of his life in jail or kill him himself. the disappointing truth is that BCS did neither. he did not even fully acknowledge what barty did. (oh he knows and barty knows that he knows, but BCS is not gonna give him that.)

in general growing up barty never received much attention or validation from his father, which only made him more obsessed with the man. but as he got older he started to despise him. barty thinks of his father as a stuck-up, rule-abiding, pious man and tries his hardest to be the exact opposite. but he doesn't want to be too blatant about it either, he wants to keep going and yes, he craves acknowledgement, but he doesn't want to have to ask for it. (jeez, man, get a tattoo or something...)

so barty continues to do what he does, mainly because he knows his father would disapprove, if he knew, but also, because it makes him feel superior, because he knows he can and BCS won't stop him. because the most important person to BCS is BCS himself and BCJ by proxy. again, that man lived with the name BARTEMIUS and made the conscious decision to name his son after himself?? (he's so narcissistic he needs to be studied.)

anyway barty thinks he's sneaky, he thinks he can keep going forever. but he also knows it's bad, that it would be better if someone would put an end to it, because he's simply not able to help himself anymore, after he reached that point of no return. which then leads him to become more sloppy and disrespectful toward his father. (a very stupid decision.)

and then, of course, there's the whole situation with regulus. we'll unpack that in chapter 10.

[forced-conforming]

unpunishable is in the playlist i’m listening to while i’m working on a new wip one shot i haven’t talked about yet hehe 🪰 (everybody sins. everybody burns.)

Um, so... NEW WIP ONE SHOT??? Care to share????? you can't just drop a bomb like that...

-- @four-toast

heheh, hey toast 🤭

this is just a smutty little dead dove i’ve been thinking about for a while now. no mcd, but i repeat, the dove is so fucking dead.

i haven’t written much yet, i’m aiming for 20k max. and unfortunately all the snippits i’m willing to share on here are from the tame parts.

to the other snippets ->

[forced-conforming]

noon 🫡 one plant-based meat, please. You can leave the buns, but I'd love a side of fries and a coke—wait, this isn't a drive-in? Oh, my bad. *speeds off on their toddler-sized tricylce*

major 🫡

no! please wait!! i’ll cock cook some up for you! you sniffed out a non-rosekiller wip 😬

(elaborate? would you say your tricycle is more like chucky's or billy's? personally, i see you more as the billy type, simply because i imagine a sophisticated piece of bread like yourself would be wearing a tuxedo while taking their tricycle for a spin, but of course i don't want to jump to conclusions here.)

since dear @mossy-of-the-valley also asked about plant based meat, allow me to answer in one.

first and foremost this is a little thing inspired by a roadkill related ask that @burningjunior sent me ages ago. (😬… a habit of procrastinating answering asks? …me?? who said that?)

“does Marlene owning a mustard colored hanky mean she has an 8 inch strap in her nightstand or is that just wishful thinking?”

i hate to admit it, but that was really just wishful thinking, because as we all know, it was actually mary who owned the mustard colored hanky. but does that mean mary is the one hiding a secret in her nightstand?

hmm...

and since i simply can't answer a question like that like a normal person, my mind wandered off and i thought of a sweet little marylene smut fic where femme!mary gives butch!marlene a taste of her 8 inch strap 😇 (see it’s not procrastinating if you intend to overshoot the mark 😎 (yeah… tell yourself that…))

i actually started writing a little bit of this a while back: mary and marlene meet at a restaurant, mary is a waitress and marlene is being stood up.

i’m not gonna share any of that, because i’m super unhappy with it and i think i’ll scrap it entirely and jump straight lesbian to the sex. the smut part is inspired by Sweet n’ Low by Peach PRC. give the song a listen, and you’ll get a pretty good idea of where this is going.

I know you've never tried on something like this That's why I'm super into it

marlene (they/them) is a super nervous and insecure butch, because they look like they get lots of action, but they’re in fact very inexperienced with women.

I've done it once or twice Okay, more like six But that's fine I'll be your guide, it's okay to like it

and mary, who’s a total bombshell, she’s all about casual sex and has slept with everyone and their mother (and dad). mary guiding them, topping them? 🫦

Can you have me hands free I don't mind a little imitation, plant based meat And you can call me princess I'll bow down to your royal harness (ow!)

and here we have our title: plant based meat is, in this case, clearly a metaphor for an artificial penis, a plastic cock, a fake dick — in short, a strap-on dildo. (which isn’t actually that short.)

You can swap me Call that a verse over a pop beat

excuse me, wittiest line ever? well, maybe marlene will find the courage and they'll switch?

thanks for the ask to the both of you!! i’ve been gatekeeping this one, even from han, so please bully me into writing it, so i can gift it to my wife 😔 (bad, lazy husband…)

[forced-conforming]

I appear in your inbox tonight, like countless others before me (two people), to beg for more scraps in regards to your cowboy AU. I've been absolutely cowboy-pilled lately, so this just appears to me as a sign from God to indulge the demons and ask for more.

Kindly. Pretty please.

unfortunately, apart from the three-and-a-half brain farts i already shared here, there's not much more to talk about yet. 🫠

but i'll try, it's mostly vibes. no plot, characters or anything else specified yet. i thought about the cast and the who's who a while back, but i'm not happy with it yet.

(if you don't know much about rdr2 the following might not make much sense, but i try to explain with context)

i know that i want to create two rival gangs similar to the van der linde gang and the o'driscolls in rdr2. (i don't think i will split them marauders vs. slytherins, i rather mix and match characters based on what i think would be interesting dynamics)

red dead redemption 2; van der linde gang

so, two gangs means there's a leader of each gang and the other characters will get certain roles and tasks within the gang. like gunman, scam-artist/thief, butcher/cook, conman/dealer, hunter, accountant, 2nd in command and so on...

it's gonna be rosekiller centric, obviously, but i don't think i want neither evan nor barty to be the leader of a gang. maybe one of them will be an enforcer, like arthur, someone who the leader trusts and gets their hands dirty. also, i don't know yet, if i want them both on the same gang or in rival gangs or not in a gang at all and rather a person of interest instead.

i do, however, think BCS would make an excellent leviticus cornwall, aka oil magante, railroad magnate, sugar baron and businessman. (which would make barty mr. nepo baby jr. and a perfect target for the gangs to kidnap for ransom, intriguing thought...)

on the other hand, i would also love to give a plantation with a big mansion, tabacco and cotton fields and horse stables to either the rosier family or the black family or both and have them have a fude (in rdr2 the braithwaite/gray family fude)

so yeah, writing won't start for a long time, my thoughts are still scattered and i need to figure some things out first. during writing i will probably draw a lot of inspiration from rdr2, but i don't want to copy the story.

more immaculate rdr2 vibes

rdr2 spoiler warning in case you haven't played the game or aren't familiar with how the story ends: i feel like this fic might also be mcd, however i don't want to give either of them arthur's fate. *cough cough* i'm evil, but i'm not cruel. (mostly because it would break me, i've been through that once with arthur and that's enough, fuck.)