#aspell tmi

[ouppybuppy]

[ouppybuppy]

dear god my period is due on Saturday (I take the pill) and I'm not looking forward to it bc it's like....goodbye energy and helo dysphoria and suffering At least the pill has made it more manageable lately bc before I started the pill I'd just be in so much pain and so exhausted and tired I had to sleep a lot I'm improving tho ahhhhh

[ouppybuppy]

definitely tmi under cut

but like holy shti ive had my period for over 2 WEEKS NOW !!! granted it’s been generally light and nonpainful but it’s just a bother and im like “uugh why dont u go away yet???” and i thought it cleared up but then BAM today WOOOOOOSH THE FLOOD WATERS HAVE OPENED HELL HAS BROKEN LOOSE I AM IN A WORLD OF PAIN I THINK IM ACTUALLY DYING SEND HELP

[ouppybuppy]

When you get this, give 5 facts about yourself and pass this on to 10 of your favorite followers ♥♥♥

omg thank u!!hmmm

1. i plan on moving out in the next 2-3 years

2. i'm going to be taking an animation course in the city

3. i feel as though i have too many career path options. i want to be an animator or concept artist...but i could also be a vet, a biologist, anthropologist or sociologist, a dog trainer, a zookeeper, a comic book artist, a film director...endless ideas and i want to do them all. i also want to study film techniques and movies and just take a film class...tbh it gets overwhelming sometimes knowing i have so much to do and i have to narrow it down to just a select few to pursue as of right now. i have too much ambition and i want to do literally everything there is to be available. i want to travel the world and do all these amazing jobs and sometimes i get depressed about the anxiety of not living long enough or having the money to do this all. to me, it's hard to comprehend that i'll live past 60, or be well enough by then to do anything with my life. i want to have kids but i want them in the next 10 years because i don't like the thought of having them at 30 and that makes it troublesome to travel and do everything i want with my life and it's very overwhelming.

THAT WAS A LONG FACT BUT I JUST WANTED TO GIVE A RUNDOWN ON WHATS GOING THROUGH MY MIND AND HAS BEEN FOR MONTHS NOW LOL. i guess you can count it as a fact

4. i'm a VERY emotional person. i cry so easily about overwhelming things, but i can't really say the same about my own emotions. i basically don't cry when i feel upset or depressed, which is probably why i channel all of that anger/anguish into crying over trivial things. i also have a really hard time containing my nostalgia. i cry about nostalgia all the time. it's one of the things i have a hard time getting over, and i tend to dwell on the past WAAYY too much. i literally sob thinking about happy past things and thinking about shows i watch..i also get weirdly over-emotional during certain times of the day and in certain weather..because it makes me think of specific times in my life and it's honestly really annoying being so emotional but i just honestly cry at everything.

5. my gender and sexuality (though i guess i can say sex-drive) fluctuates a lot. i'm not much for labeling myself and throwing myself into a box of expectations, but i identify most as grey-sexual. i know that sexuality (or lack thereof) doesn't really tie in with sex drive, but im a very on and off person. as for gender, i find it quite funny that i basically don't like labeling myself, but the closest label that relates to that is agender. i find it ironic that (this is just for me, i dont think this of others) i don't consider myself ANY gender, im nothing, im a voided doge, but i still HAVE  a gender label...even though that label is the lack of gender...lmao idk it's confusing. but just so it's easier for me and others, i just label myself agender, because it's really the most i identify with. saying that, i don't care about a lot of things. i still enjoy the she pronouns, but i dont like it when theyre associated with the "female" spectrum of it. i don't associate with BEING female, though i do like associating with femininity at times. which is why i sometimes feel as tho i could be a nb genderfluid, but being GF doesnt feel right anymore...i literally have no label. im nothing. so i apologize if someone asks what my gender is bc i will not have a proper label that is COMPLETELY true to me.

aaaaand this turned out longer than i thought it would

[ouppybuppy]

i threw up before and it didnt help my stomach is still killing me i think im gunna throw up again soon im missing another day of school because of this im not happy at all.

sometimes i think i have like a minor case of emetophobia bc like i know no one likes throwing up but i get so overwhelmed i cry before, during and after vomiting and i cant handle the anxiety building up to it and i just get sooo anxious and scared and uuugh

[ouppybuppy]

i was trying to burp and coke came out of my nose that's the first time that's ever happened and it was both hilarious and painful

[ouppybuppy]

all the 2s?

2. Last phone call

probably to mum saying a thing haha

12. had sexi suppose so?? but never the typical "penis and vagina" sex stuff

26. What did you do for your last Birthdayumm i had a rad party!! got a lot of people over to my new house and yeah it was awesome (i also have a memory of cho coming over on a separate day but idk if that was a bday????????? we had spaghetti and scalloped potatoes)

27. What time did you wake up today7:45 am uugh

29. Name something you CANNOT wait foravcon!! and getting my car licence, moving out, turning 18 (oh and graduating....fuuck)

32. What are you listening to right nowjust started listening to itunes radio...dark horse by katy perry is on..

42. Secondary Schoolaka high school is australia...i dont wanna say the actual name as it has my town's name in it but the acronym is PSC

62. Listening to [right now]

the power of love by gabrielle aplin...got sick of dark horse

72. Nice stomach or nice arms [which it better]people really look at that stuff??? idk i like bellies sometimes 

82. Been arrestednah man

92. Angels [do you believe in]naaahhh

[ouppybuppy]

ive been trying my absolute hardest for 2 weeks now ive been eating less than 1000 calaries every day and exercising as much as i can for more than an hour every day.

wanna know how much weight ive lost? 3 kilos.

3. fucking. kilos.

i swear theres something wrong with me i cant fucking do this i think im just gonna be fat my entire life lmaoooo 

i talked about it w mum and she says it could possibly be linked with polycystic ovary syndrome, which is something that has come up in conversation a few times when talking to doctors

i want to get diagnosed, or at least medical help bc it's most likely pcos hahaa explains very well why i never have my freaking period uuuuuugh i just wanna cry i want to be fit i want to be skinny ive tried my hardest and it's had practically no results and im starting to fear it's medical related or maybe im just overreacting