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makerofmadness

Aug 26, 2021

Kirby: Deciding Match! Battle Royale!! Chapter ☆7: A Real One-on-One Battle

The throne room, as opposed to the excited arena, had fallen completely silent. Sitting on the throne was King Dedede.

The king’s silence, of course, was not due to any kind of calm. He was simply too furious to even speak.

“So… that pink twerp managed to beat Meta Knight?” the king finally said, hands trembling as he gripped the armrests.

“I-I-It appears to be that way, yes,” Tron said nervously.

“Of course… Of course, Meta Knight just couldn’t be counted on!”

“H-He couldn’t be counted on, indeed. Obviously, the only person who could possibly defeat Kirby is a Kirby copy. We must continue to make more Kirbys. Hey, little Waddle Dee, get to work, hop to it!”

Upon being pestered by Tron, the copy Waddle Dee turned the Kirby Printer handle around and around.

“Right away! Right away! Right away!”

The printer made a rattling noise and yet another Kirby copy popped out of it. King Dedede stood up. Tron’s smile was stiff.

“Now, this kid is no mere Kirby copy. Just in case of something like this, I have prepared a very useful invention and-”

“STEP ASIDE!” King Dedede shouted at Tron. Tron fled to the wall.

“Guess I’ll just have to take matters into my own hands,” the king mumbled, and left the room with his trusty hammer in hand.

Kirby and Waddle Dee woke up on the sickbay beds.

“Oh, have you finally woken up?”

Waddle Doo had been waiting for them.

“...Waddle Doo?...” Kirby said, still lying down, “where…?”

“You two passed out after fighting Mr. Meta Knight’s team. So, I had to carry you to the beds here.”

“Meta Knight… oh yeah!...”

Kirby got up, remembering. Waddle Dee also got up from the bed he was in.

“The match?! How did it turn out?!”

“You two won. Congratulations!”

“...wait, really?! We won?!”

Kirby and Waddle Dee jumped out of the beds.

“Woohoo!”

“I can’t believe we actually did it. We actually won against Sir Meta Knight! And it was all thanks to you, Kirby! Bravo!”

“Nuh-uh, couldn’t’ve done it without your help, Waddle Dee!”

The two held hands with joy.

Then, suddenly, Waddle Dee realized something.

“Waddle Doo,” he said, “were you taking care of us while we were knocked out? Are things ok at the reception desk?”

Upon hearing this, Waddle Doo narrowed his one big eye.

“What are you talking about? The tournament was put on pause until you both woke up.”

“Wha-?”

“There is only one match left in the tournament. The next match is the one that will finally decide it all.”

“...decide… it all…?”

Kirby jumped up.

“So you’re saying that, if we win the next match, we get to eat the Deluxe Mountain Cake?!”

“That is correct, I suppose.”

“Well, then what are we waiting for?? Let’s go to the arena, ASAP!”

Kirby hopped with great energy, as if he hadn’t just been unconscious until now.

In front of the reception desk, Kirby and Waddle Dee were excitedly chatting.

“You know what happens if we win this, right? Cake, cake, cake!”

“I know you’re confident we’re gonna win, Kirby, but-”

“But what?”

“Who are we gonna be facing in the next match?”

Waddle Dee started to seem worried.

“The other team must’ve been really, really strong in order to have gotten this far… I’m getting kinda worried.”

“Relax, it’ll all be fine! I mean, we took down Meta Knight’s team. Meta Knight. Whoever the next team is, they’re gonna be a piece of cake to defeat!” Kirby shouted encouragingly, when…

“...You two think it’s going to be THAT easy?”

A serious voice resounded in the reception room.

He must’ve left his throne room at some point…

King Dedede, with hammer in hand, glared at the duo.

Kirby and Waddle Dee were shocked.

“Huh?... King Dedede?”

“Both of you have gotten WAY too far.”

King Dedede shook his hammer violently in his hand.

“But that’s the end of that! I’ll take you on myself.”

Waddle Dee flinched.

“Huh? He can’t mean…”

King Dedede laughed arrogantly.

“For your championship battle, you’ll be fighting ME!”

“Fighting… our great king…”

Waddle Dee tottered dizzily.

“I-It’s impossible… we can’t win!...”

Kirby tried to provide encouragement.

“Oh c’mon, it’ll be fine! King Dedede’s way weaker than us! Trust me, we’re gonna win that tournament, and then we’re gonna chow down on some cake!”

“You’ll never get to eat that cake, Kirby!”

Kirby and King Dedede glared at each other. Waddle Doo timidly raised his voice from behind the reception desk.

“U-U-Umm… great King Dedede, sir? You’re going to need to register-”

“As you already know, I’m the one who organized this whole thing. Do you really have to register every single person?”

“Well, who is your teammate?”

“I don’t need a stinkin’ team. I’ll just fight by myself.”

“Huh? B-But Kirby has a team-”

“Doesn’t matter if it’s two-on-one. You two could have a full army for all I care. You’re no match for me. Or for my HAMMER.”

King Dedede’s fighting spirit had been ignited. The intensity rivaled that of even Meta Knight.

“Two-on-one doesn’t make for a fair fight. I’ll fight you myself. It’ll be one-on-one then!”

“Hmph. Well, I’m not complaining.”

King Dedede held his hammer up high and headed for the arena.

“Kirby…” Waddle Dee said in a worried voice, “are you sure you’ll be ok by yourself? All I’ll be able to do is cheer for you-”

“If you’re there cheering me on, I’ll be A-OK! I’ll do my best for you, Waddle Dee. The Deluxe Mountain Cake is ours!”

“All right! Good luck out there, Kirby!

Waddle Dee gripped Kirby’s hand tightly. Kirby nodded his head strongly, before following King Dedede and running to the arena.

“Ooh, this just in, I have some important news for all of you! Competing in the very last round, we have our very own King Dedede! The final match is a one-on-one fight between King Dedede and Kirby!” Walky announced, causing the audience to erupt into yells.

“Wait, WHAT!?! The organizer of the tournament is competing!?”

“But a one-on-one fight isn’t a team battle. This is gonna be a sight to see!”

Florid fanfare echoed throughout as the two entered the arena.

King Dedede, with his large hammer in hand, and Kirby, donning a green hat and holding a sword.

Seemingly divided cheers and applause could be heard from the stands.

Breaking through the cheers, Walky’s announcement continued.

“Now, let me explain the rules of the final battle. This match is gonna be a game of CRAZY THEATER! Everyone know the rules? You must answer the given questions-”

“Shut up!!” King Dedede shouted at Walky. “We’re not fighting by those rules. I’m gonna have a real one-on-one battle for the deciding match against Kirby, and that’s final!”

“Bring it on!” Kirby replied courageously.

“But those are the rules,” Walky said in a troubled voice, “we already have the questions ready-”

“Can it! I’m the one who organized this whole tournament! Now do as I say!” King Dedede commanded. The atmosphere grew shaky.

“Umm- I understand, Sire,” Walky said hopelessly, “but our preparations were very, very specific to the game we had planned. Well then, I guess we have to make a few modifications for a simple battle. The rules-”

Before Walky could finish, King Dedede faced Kirby.

“Let’s go, Kirby!”

“I won’t lose!”

Kirby kicked his feet off the ground and slashed at King Dedede.

The king blocked the hit! Kirby spun around in the air and decided to land.

“W-Wait,” Walky shouted, “but I didn’t give the signal to start yet… I have to explain the rules first… You two, get back in your starting positions…”

However, his voice was drowned out by the loud cheers from the audience.

“Wooooah, it’s begun!”

“Wow, that was so cool! When it comes to agileness, Kirby can’t be beat!”

“No, King Dedede’s movement is far superior!”

“Settle down, everyone, settle down! I still haven’t finished explaining the rules-” Walky shouted, but, as his yells went unheard, he finally just gave up. “Oh, forget it! Nobody cares about the rules anyway! The winner will be whoever knocks down their opponent first, it’s simple! Go!”

Even if Walky hadn’t said that, the two had planned on doing it that way from the start.

King Dedede raised his huge hammer up high and attacked Kirby.

“GIANT DEDEDE SWING!!!”

King Dedede’s signature move. He swung his hammer around and around in a spinning attack. Certainly powerful. If one were to take the attack, they would certainly take too much damage to be able to get back up again.

Kirby panickedly jumped out of the way of the attack. King Dedede quickly stopped spinning and let out another attack.

“HAMMER!!!”

As one would expect, not even Kirby could dodge the successive hammer attacks that struck him.

“Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!”

Taking such powerful, destructive attacks, Kirby fell over on his back.

Watching such a breathtaking battle, the audience burned with excitement!

“Things aren’t going too well for Kirby!”

“No, it’s not over yet! Kirby’s horror’s only just started!”

“Do your best, Kirby!”

Among the loud voices of the crowd, the sole calm person observing the battle was Meta Knight.

“King Dedede has certainly improved his skill. The way his attacks connect into each other is quite impressive, almost beautiful,” he muttered.

“It seems that Kirby has grown tired from the fights he’s faced up until this,” Captain Vul said to Meta Knight, who he was sitting right next to, “he doesn’t have his usual speed.”

“There’s no way he can win this,” Axe Knight added, “after taking a Knight Spin from Lord Meta Knight, he had been unconscious until just a while ago.”

“However, he- Kirby, I mean, should still be able to fight,” Meta Knight mumbled as he watched Kirby get up, staggering, “...show me your strength, pink one.”

However, Kirby’s condition didn’t improve in the slightest.

Just as Captain Vul and Axe Knight had said, the fights that came before this one had drained all of Kirby’s strength. In addition, the impact from the Hammer attacks filled his limbs with a sharp, numbing pain. He couldn’t feel the weight of his sword in his hand. His hands and feet were only about half as strong as they normally were.

“I can’t stop... I’ve gotta keep going… the Deluxe Mountain Cake…”

He mustered together all his strength and attacked.

“Hiyah… CLEAVE…!”

However, he was lacking his usual power. The move was easily avoided.

“Hahaha! Is that all you’ve got??”

King Dedede laughed triumphantly.

“Well then, why don’t you allow me to end this right here, right now? DEDEDE HAMMER THROW!!!”

King Dedede threw his hammer while dashing. Kirby was unable to avoid it. Struck by the flying hammer, he fell over.

It was quite the powerful attack. He lost his current Copy Ability, and Sword Knight rolled out.

The stands were quite noisy.

“Wait a second, that’s-?”

“Isn’t that Sword Knight?? Like, one of Meta Knight’s subordinates??”

Meta Knight’s subordinates all got up at once.

“Sword Knight?!~”

“And here we were thinking he wasn’t gonna come back, turns out he just got sucked up by Kirby!”

Kirby, who had returned to being his usual, ability-less self, like a face without makeup, was about to suck up Sword Knight once again, tottering on his feet. Sword Knight, upon returning to consciousness, was ready to flee.

“S-Stop, Kirby! Don’t suck me up again!”

“Stop right there, Kirby,” Meta Knight shouted from the stands, “l won’t blame you for inhaling Sword Knight. I believe Sword Knight had been careless the first time. However, a second time wouldn’t do any good.”

“...Meta Knight-”

“He is quite an important subordinate to me. I would like to let him rest for a while.”

“...O-Ok…”

Kirby nodded his head. Sword Knight sighed in relief.

“Now, King Dedede, could you put this match on hold?” Meta Knight said to King Dedede. “Kirby has no Copy Ability. Until we can prepare a Copy Essence for him, it would be in your best interest to put the tournament on pause-”

“-Shut up.”

King Dedede, with victory in sight, rejected Meta Knight’s proposal.

“How could I stop a battle halfway through, even for a second? Let’s keep going!”

King Dedede raised his hammer overhead. Kirby’s eyes widened, and he stood frozen like a deer in headlights. Without a Copy Ability, he was unable to escape or stop the king’s hammer.

Screams could be heard from the stands.

“Kirby’s in trouble!!”

“The way this is going, I think it’s obvious who’s gonna win!”

Waddle Dee, who had been watching from the audience, leaned forward, frantic.

“Great King, please, stop! We accept defeat! We’ll give up on the cake!!”

However, King Dedede wasn’t listening.

He was finally about to settle things with Kirby, his long-time rival.

King Dedede readied his hammer and aimed for Kirby.

...when…

“KIRBY!! SUCK ME UP!!!”

Upon saying that, a single person jumped out from the stands.

It was Knuckle Joe.

He had been encamped in the front row and watching the match, but it seemed that he would no longer remain silent.

King Dedede stopped his attack and looked behind.

Knuckle Joe ran over to Kirby’s side.

“I’ll help you. Don’t hesitate!”

“Knuckle Joe-”

“C’mon, get to it!”

On most days, Knuckle Joe would’ve hated the idea of being inhaled by Kirby, and would’ve run around everywhere trying to escape.

However, today was not one of those days.

“While watching you and Waddle Dee giving it your all out on the battlefield,” Knuckle Joe said to the astonished Kirby, seeming impatient, “I could feel my Fighter blood boiling. I wanna fight too. So, I’ll help you out!”

Kirby’s face lit up.

“Thank you, Knuckle Joe!”

With all the power he had left in him, Kirby started sucking up the air.

Knuckle Joe was suddenly sucked up, and Kirby transformed.

With a red headband tied around his forehead, it was the Fighter Ability.

Kirby recovered his energy.

“Let’s goooo!! For the Deluxe Mountain Cake!!!”

Kirby headed toward King Dedede and unleashed a Vulcan Jab.

King Dedede faltered for a second. His fighting spirit gradually rose.

“Hmph, that’s not gonna do anything to me!”

Dodging the continuous onslaught of Vulcan Jabs, he mustered up all his strength and threw his hammer.

“DEDEDE HAMMER THROW!!!”

“I won’t get hit by that again!!”

Kirby dodged the flying hammer and let out an attack.

“Hiyah, GIGA FORCE BLAST!!!”

The power that surged throughout his body became a blazing flame that shot out of his hands.

King Dedede, unable to dodge, was sent flying.

“Gah!! Ouch!! That burns!!”

“Well, if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen!!”

“Hmph, you cheeky little brat!”

King Dedede picked up his fallen hammer and raised it up.

“GIANT DEDEDE SWING!!!”

King Dedede spun around and around and repeatedly tried to whack Kirby with his hammer. Kirby managed to dodge the first and second attacks, but the third was a hit. The impact caused him to lose his Copy Ability, and Knuckle Joe, who he had only just sucked up, came rolling out.

“Another try, Kirby,” Knuckle Joe said, short of breath, “another try, you know what to do!”

“Not on my watch!!”

Wielding his hammer, King Dedede landed a direct hit on Knuckle Joe!

“AHHHHHHHHH!!!”

Knuckle Joe was sent flying back to where he was originally sitting in the stands.

The audience was astir.

“Woah, that was powerful!”

“Kirby’s back to being a face without makeup again!”

“It’s no use now!!”

Amengled the jumbled screams, again, one person jumped into the arena.

“KIRBY, ALLOW ME TO BE OF SOME ASSISTANCE!”

In purple attire, a hood covering his head,

A figure rarely seen in public, Moonja.

Surprised shouts could be heard from the audience.

“Th-That’s Moonja!”

“Did he come to watch the Cake Royale too?”

“I didn’t notice him. He must’ve been watching from the shadows.”

Moonja ran up to Kirby. Kirby was about to say something, but Moonja interrupted him, quickly speaking as he informed him:

“Allow me to explain. Seeing Knuckle Joe do something so courageous, so selfless… it inspired me. I, too, would like to lend you my power, Kirby. Now, quickly, suck me up!”

“O-Ok.”

Kirby was about to start sucking up the air when King Dedede shouted:

“Stay out of this, chump! This battle is between me and Kirby. Don’t interfere!”

“Kirby, please, be quick about it!”

Kirby hurriedly opened his mouth wide. King Dedede raised his hammer. Moonja, knowing there was no time to lose, kicked himself off the ground and jumped into Kirby’s mouth.

Astonished yells came from the stands.

“Woah, can’t say I really get why he’d do that.”

“This is the first time I’ve seen someone just jump in there on their own volition.”

“Look, Kirby’s transformed!”

Kirby, just like Moonja, was now in a purple outfit. He was carrying a large katana on his back.

“The Ninja Ability…”

Kirby sprung up with great energy.

“Thanks, Moonja! Now I can get back to fighting!”

“Hmph! Even an ability like that’s not gonna be enough to beat me!”

King Dedede readjusted his grip on his hammer. Kirby quickly pulled out his katana, turned toward King Dedede and swung.

“SHOCK!!!”

“That’s not gonna work on me!”

The king, wielding his hammer, hit Kirby’s katana and sent it flying. The katana spun around in the air and stabbed into the ground when it landed.

“My katana-!!”

“Can’t fight without a weapon. Haha, it’s over now, Kirby!”

King Dedede was about to deliver the final blow when Kirby stooped over and quickly began to throw a few small weapons.

“KNIFE THROW!!!”

Kunai were ninja throwing knives. It was a hidden weapon of the Ninja Ability. Small enough to be concealed within one’s hands, and quite powerful too. King Dedede’s hammer was knocked out of his hands, and the king himself was left quite flustered.

“Wh-What?! Kirby, you pip-squeak-!!”

“This is the Ninja way to fight!!”

King Dedede was about to pick his hammer back up, but Kirby quickly rushed up to the king.

“This ends now!!~”

Charging up power, Kirby shouted loudly:

“PYROTECHNICS!!!!!!”

A bright red pillar of fire whirled around the king’s body, as if it were being held by large chopsticks of fire.

The impact of the attack was hard enough to shake the arena.

Upon taking a hit as powerful as that, even King Dedede couldn’t stand a chance.

King Dedede fell with his limbs stretched out on the ground. He didn’t move an inch.

“One, two, three… and he’s down!” Walky shouted. “King Dedede is down! The overall victor of the tournament is Kirby!”

The stands were a whirlpool of wild enthusiasm.

“Woooooah! Hooray for Kirby!”

“Wow, that’s strong! Too strong!”

“Of course, the strongest warrior in Dream Land is Kirby!”

Waddle Dee jumped down from the stands and hugged Kirby.

“Yes, you did it, Kirby! Congratulations!”

“We did it! We won!” Kirby said, before licking his lips. “Quick, that Deluxe Mountain Cake-”

He was cut off when the doors to the arena opened and someone ran inside with quick steps.

Waddle Dee mumbled upon realizing:

“Oh… Mr. Inventor Tron?...”

Tron rushed over to the fallen-over King Dedede. Then, he shook the king awake, and quickly whispered something to him.

The king was overcome with surprise, but, upon hearing Tron’s whispers, suddenly had a sparkle in his eyes.

King Dedede quickly got up. Though the pain still remained in his system, he had an impudent look on his face.

“You think you won, huh?” the king said arrogantly. “NO WAY. NOT YET. I won’t allow it.”

“...huh?” Walky said in a bewildered voice. “No, we’ve already decided the winner. And the winner is Kirby-”

“I. SAID. NO. WAY. NOT. YET!” The king yelled with his shoulders squared.

“But Kirby won fair and square, Your Majesty!” Waddle Dee said timidly.

“So? This is my tournament. I’ll do what I want!”

“But that’s not fair!”

“We’ll do the real final battle next. Now, Kirby, I have something special for you up my sleeve. Go up to the top floor with the elevator, I’ll see you there!”

King Dedede ran out of the arena with loud footsteps.

The audience started booing. However, scared that King Dedede would hear, everyone muttered soft complaints.

“This sucks. Kirby’s the winner, there’s no getting around it.”

“He said he has something special up his sleeve. What do you think he means?”

“No way, think he has some kind of secret weapon?...”

Kirby and Waddle Dee were left in the arena with Tron. Tron, smiling in satisfaction, turned to face Kirby.

“...Well, you heard him. If you want that cake, you will have to do just as His Majesty says. Oh, but there is one thing I would like to tell you.”

Tron twirled his mustache.

“That ‘something special’ up His Majesty’s sleeve was created by yours truly, Tron, the most gifted inventor in the galaxy. It is my magnum opus. No matter how strong you are, you little- uh, forget that part, you shouldn’t be capable of taking down one of my inventions. Prepare yourself!”

Laughing loudly, Tron walked away.

“What are you going to do, Kirby?...” Waddle Dee asked, seeming anxious, “that inventor is pretty suspicious, but he really seems to know what he’s doing. I mean, he was the one who made the Kirby Printer in the first place. I bet he has a ton of terrifyingly frightening weapons ready-”

“I’ll be fine,” Kirby said without hesitation, “I’ll go. The Deluxe Mountain Cake is ours. I’m not gonna let King Dedede get away with this.”

“But I want to fight by your side-”

“Nuh-uh, I’ll be fine by myself. I always win. Wait here.”

Kirby pulled his katana out of the ground and put it back on his back.

“Knuckle Joe and Moonja helped me out. I won’t lose.”

“With the power of everyone’s hope, Kirby’s ready to tackle the final round!” Walky shouted. “Give it all you’ve got, Kirby! We’re all rooting for you!”

The audience erupted into a loud round of applause.

Kirby confidently exited the arena.

“...huh? The final battle’s being held on the top floor… doesn’t that mean we won’t get to see it?” Knuckle Joe suddenly yelled in disappointment once Kirby had left.

“...huh? Oh! I see!”

Agitated voices came from all over.

“Aw man, there’s no stands on the top floor!”

“They just ditched us. After all we’ve done for them!”

“I wanna see what that ‘something special’ King Dedede mentioned was!”

The stands erupted into sighs and booing.

Then, suddenly, an unexpected group came running into the arena.

It was a team of four Waddle Dees. One was holding a video camera, one had a microphone in his hand, one was holding a sound collection device, and the last one was holding what looked like a large sketchbook.

The one with the mike, Reporter Waddle Dee, stepped forward to the middle of the arena.

“Worry not, everyone! We’re the Waddle Dee news crew. We’ll be there on the top floor to report on the final match live!”

“...what?”

“We’ve got special permission from our great King Dedede to go to the top floor! You’ll all be able to watch the heated battle play out on the arena’s big screen! Please, sit back, relax, and enjoy the intense live broadcast!”

Reporter Waddle Dee quickly raised his hand and pointed at the large screen installed on the stands. The audience was taken aback, but, once they realized what this meant, they cheered loudly.

“Nothing to complain about if we can watch the live broadcast!”

“What a helpful bunch of Waddle Dees!”

Bandana Waddle Dee ran up to Camera Waddle Dee.

“I need to ask you something! Can I come with you guys? I’m one of the Great King’s subordinates too-”

“Oh, sorry, that’s not gonna be enough~,” Camera Waddle Dee rejected bluntly.

“...what? But why? I’m a Waddle Dee too…”

“You’re Kirby’s pal, so you’re not allowed on the top floor~. I’m sorry, but you’ll just have to watch the fight on the screen~.”

“N-No way-”

“Well then, time to go! C’mon, team, let’s get a move on!”

Leading the way, Reporter Waddle Dee ran off.

The rest of the team joined him, and gallantly left the arena.

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#Kirby: Deciding Match! Battle Royale!!#kirby light novel #kirby light novel translation #kirby #bandana waddle dee #channel ppp #reporter waddle dee #camera waddle dee #assistant waddle dee #microphone waddle dee #meta knight #captain vul #axe knight #sword knight #knuckle joe #moonja #king dedede #kirby tron #walky #waddle doo