My mom thinks I’m trying to steal my dad from her. Like, legitimately, I’m not kidding.
I’ve noticed her being weird about me being close to him practically since I moved in at 6 (for reference, I’m adopted). She started to get really territorial over him when I turned 12 though.
The first “large” instance of her being weird that I noticed/recognized was when I was in 6th grade. I was sitting next to MY DAD on the couch and leaned on his shoulder. She looked over and saw us and started flipping out. Telling me that it was inappropriate and I’m “not his wife”.
I immediately got off him and just felt so humiliated. I’m adopted from a sexually abusive household, so I’m not always the most “up to date” on what’s considered normal or acceptable behavior within families and other relationships. But I figured that it would be ok to lean on his shoulder? I had seen other kids do it both in person and on TV. And my sisters do it all the time and she’s never flipped out? And my sisters are my BIOLOGICAL sisters. We were adopted as a “sibling set”, we have the same mom, but different dads.i was so confused, but too embarrassed to fight back, so I simply apologized and went to my room. Dad didn’t say anything, and mom just gave me a dirty look.
I went a long time not touching anyone after that. No hugs from dad, no tapping friends on the shoulder, no shaking hands at church. I never hugged my mom or sisters anyway.
The next time that I can remember actually touching my dad after that was at my high school orientation. I was holding his hand because I was nervous. I was going to a new school, there were crowds of people everywhere, and mom had been bitching the whole day. So, while going on our tour, I grabbed his hand. I had thought it was perfectly normal. There were a couple other girls holding their parents hand, and I see people do it all the time. But, mom was walking behind us. And the second she noticed me holding his hand she marched forward and grabbed his arm, saying I was “too old to be acting like this”, and, reminded me yet again that I’m “not his wife”.
This went on and off for years. I had a small mental health crisis in my Junior year of high school and she had backed off a bit. I could get away with hugging him as long as it was a side hug and not a full hug. But I never tried to hold his hand for longer than a 3 second hand squeeze or anything else.
But today, I’m just confused all over again. I was in the kitchen, baking a cheesecake for my sisters birthday tomorrow, and had just popped the crust in the oven to bake, when I noticed our puppy scratching on the door to my parents room. I knew dad was in there cleaning a spot to put up a computer workspace, so I knocked on the door. He always keeps the door closed because he can’t tolerate heat and has a hundred and one fans going in there.
He says I can come in with the puppy and I open the door. Baby jumps on the bed and I go and start petting her with dad, and he asks me to shut the door to keep it cool in there, I listen because I’m not about to be the one to get bitched out later if he gets hot.
I shit the door and we’re both just in there innocently petting the baby, talking to her in baby voices, scratching her belly.
Then suddenly someone’s pounding on the bedroom door. Mom opens the door, looks at us, slams the door, and storms away? The puppies all pissed off now, because there was knocking on the door, so naturally it means we’re all about to get murdered. And the older dog starts flipping out too.
Dad and I walk out all confused. It’s been years since she’s threw a fit about us being near each other. I’m about to be 21, she hasn’t gotten pissed about this since I was 17. So we have no clue what’s going on.
We go out and ask what’s wrong, thinking she’s gotten in a fight with one of my sisters, or the older puppy is mad that she’s not getting attention too. And mom’s just being all quiet and not responding to us.
Finally dad gets pissed enough about the silent treatment and yells at her, and she starts yelling back about how it’s inappropriate for us to be in a room together with the door closed, and I’m too old to be acting like this, and blah blah blah.
Im really just so confused? I honestly don’t think I’ve been doing anything wrong. Maybe closing the door WAS pushing things a bit, but he asked me to? And why does she act this way about me and neither of my other sisters? I bet it’s because I was older when I was adopted and she probably thinks I’m “promiscuous” or something because of it. I was 6, almost 7 when adopted and my other sisters were 4 and 1.5. That’s really the only thing I can think of.
Anyways, if you made it to the end Thank You! And I apologize for the super long rant 😭 I’m just so confused and pissed right now :/
Inuyasha is the leader of a currently defunct punk rock band, The Strays. His other bandmates, Sango and Miroku, agree to help him win back their former manager to reinvent their sound for the current era of music. He trusts her more than anyone, believing that only she can bring them back from obscurity, but time doesn't always heal wounds. Inuyasha has to accept his past mistakes and show that this is the only way forward for him. The consequence of failure is a life spent alone, without his fated mate.
It has been six years since Kagome first managed The Strays, and at first, she thought the band would be her ticket to success. It was, but not in the way she imagined. It had taken a toll on her, ruined her for other relationships. She had broken a cardinal rule, never fall in love with a client. Inuyasha Taisho damaged her in so many ways, but now she has a second chance to right the mistakes of the past and take on of her greatest challenges, making The Strays relevant once again.
The music is solid, as is the determination of the band members, but Kagome is unsure whether she can forgive the wounds of the past and move forward with the band in a mutually beneficial future
AN:
Hi! I know it's been a hot minute since I posted anything for this fandom. A lot of readers have been waiting for my MMA AU and, I'm working on it. This idea just sort of shoved all others out of the way and... I'm doing a lot more research on the MMA AU to make it authentic. Hopefully, you enjoy this a bit in it's place, for a while. This fic has... encompassed my whole brain.
I'm obsessed with music... I can't put it any other way. Music talks to me; music is life. I would rather be blind than deaf because living without music feels like a life I could not envision. Then again, I've had terrible vision all my life, so maybe I'm biased. Music allows me to see things that I cannot with vision. It allows me to feel more than words could ever express... and I'm a writer, lol. That being said, I hope my profound love for music... and this ship are expressed in the story that follows.
I'm hoping to get a publicly accessible playlist for this fic, but I have very strong reservations against Spotify, due to how they compensate creators. I'm looking for an alternative but I haven't found anything comparable... then again I'm not a very good judge on the interwebs, lol. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
That being said, there are a few music artists who have GREATLY contributed to this fic: Sick Puppies, Eve 6, Panic! at the Disco, and Imagine Dragons, along with many other artists. I will do my best to mention each of them in the authors comments because... it's important to me. Anyway... for this prologue, its Viva Las Vengeance by Panic! at the Disco.
AO3
CHAPTER 1 : You Give Me Highs That Lose My Breath
Present day…
Inuyasha shifted in his chair and tried to assure himself that the walls of the tiny Vegas café weren’t closing in on him. It was a stifling summer day, temperatures reaching well over one hundred degrees by noon, and the piddling AC of this place was doing a piss poor job of battling the heat. He plucked at the collar of his t-shirt, desperate for a bit of air movement against his sticky skin.
He had run all the way here from his home, jumping between the tops of the brightly colored buildings in hope that he could work off some excess nervous energy. That hadn’t exactly gone to plan. Inuyasha was still keyed up, unable to settle his pounding heart as another bead of sweat slid from beneath his silver hair and down the back of his neck.
Fucking great, now I’m gonna stink on top of everything else. That’ll be a killer first impression.
Although, it couldn’t really be called a first impression. Even after six years apart, the woman that he waited for with bated breath still knew him better than anyone else on the planet. She had seen him at his best… and very worst.
Could I really make her think any less of me at this point?
His shoulders bunched as he realized the answer to that question was probably a resounding ‘no’.
His leg began to bounce, jingling the long silver chain that hung from his belt loop to the wallet in his back pocket. A hand settled on his knee. Inuyasha glanced up into a pair of sympathetic brown eyes.
“Relax, she’ll be here,” Sango said with a gentle pat. “Besides you’re gonna drive me crazy with all that noise.”
He planted his foot on the floor and straightened. “Why the hell would she come?”
“Because I asked her to,” she replied with a shrug, sitting back in the small wooden chair. “Trust me, she’ll be here.”
Despite her confident words, Sango seemed just as nervous as him. Her dark gaze was glued to the front windows of the café, darting amongst the people on the sidewalk beyond. She drew her leg up and hugged her arms around it, resting her chin on her knee. Then she went completely still and unblinking, perched on her chair like a silent gargoyle.
Inuyasha’s frown deepened. “I’m just sayin, she has no reason to show after…”
“After you lost your ever living mind?” Sango completed.
“Now, now,” Miroku said from beside her, squeezing her shoulder. “Inuyasha has apologized several times and taken great strides to change his ways. Let’s not rehash the past.”
His golden gaze found the floor, heat working its way up his neck. Geez, a hanyou has one little near-death experience and everyone wanted to make a federal case out of it.
“I don’t know if an apology is going to be enough,” Sango said, almost to herself.
He growled in annoyance, even as the soft white ears on top of his head lowered in shame.
She cut him a sharp look. “Don’t growl at me. What do you expect? You weren’t there for the aftermath of your dumb decisions, you know. You didn’t have to hear her cry over you or convince her to eat when she started losing weight or—”
“I get it!” he snapped. “I’m a dick. I know.”
Sango pursed her lips. “Well, as long as you know.”
Inuyasha snarled.
“Sweetheart,” Miroku soothed while rubbing his hand across her upper back. “Let’s not make this any harder than it has to be.”
“Why? It should be hard for him. It should hurt. We all hurt enough—”
“Argh! What the fuck do you want me to do?” Inuyasha erupted, throwing his hands into the air. “Should I break out the sack cloth and ashes? Would a public stoning do it for you?”
“I just want to know I’m not setting my friend up for another round of your bullshit,” she sneered. “Tell me you’ve got it together.”
“I do! I do! How many times you want me to fuckin say it?”
Sango opened her mouth to deliver another verbal blow when the bell above the café door tinkled. Three sets of eyes flew to the front windows and Inuyasha snapped his mouth shut, trying not to swallow his suddenly thick tongue.
She was here…Kagome.
She lifted her sunglasses up to rest in her dark hair and scanned the few tables before her eyes lit on Sango in the back. When her gaze finally landed on him, those baby-blues grew wide like a deer caught in the headlights.
Inuyasha cursed under his breath and dragged a clawed hand down his face. “You didn’t tell her I was going to be here, did you?”
Authors Note: Sorry it took me so long @beyond-antares, its been a very very bad couple of weeks. Hopefully this is what you wanted, if it isn’t let me know and I will write you another. Much love!!!
‘Hey.’ You frowned as you looked at the text you had sent Henry early this morning. It wasn’t often that you got jealous or insecure but it had been two weeks since you last had a conversation with him. It was beginning to eat at you and you weren’t sure what you should do to remedy it.
Two weeks was a long time for both of you, especially when you knew he was only an hour away shooting. He was supposed to come home for the weekends, had made the plans and everything, but when the weekend finally came around, you were disappointed.
He had his secretary email you, saying he couldn’t make it because of some issues with the contract. It wouldn’t have bothered you if he had sent that email that morning. But instead, you had gotten up, went and got your hair and nails done. You had bought a brand new set of lingerie and you had even gone out of your way and watched a youtube video on how to do a bold look with your makeup. All to have yourself sit in your living for two hours, the special dinner you had cooked for Henry went cold on the dining room table. The fact he hadn’t bothered to contact you was the icing on the cake.
You knew he loved you, but it was times like these that you questioned just how much. He could get so carried away with his characters and his fans and you loved that about him. But you were here too, you wanted to at least be in his top five list of important things. Clearly, that wasn’t the case. You bit your lip as you threw your phone onto the couch, not even caring where it landed. If he didn’t want to talk to you then that was fine. There was plenty here for you to do.
Two hours later and you found yourself curled up in your bed, a batch of cookie dough in your lap and a tv show playing in the background. You had been scrolling through your Instagram when you saw it. Your throat tightened and you struggled to hold back the fierce stab of pain and betrayal. Henry was stood in front of a restaurant, his arms around a tall beauty, his award-winning smile on display. The other woman was in heaven, her head was turned up towards him, a smitten smile on her lips, her arms wrapped around his back, and one hand resting on his chest in an intimate caress. Looking up at the name that had posted it you saw that it was the same girl in the photo. Apparently, she had a friend hide and take the picture as they were leaving.
She had the gal to mention you and Henry both in the post, claiming how happy she was to finally go on the date with him. You could feel your chest tighten and your breaths started coming in shallow pants.
Your eyes filled with tears as you set the bowl of cookie dough aside, your hands shaking in fear. Was she why he hadn’t been messaging you the last two weeks. Had he finally realized that he deserved better? He had hadn’t he? It all made so much sense. He was done with you and knowing the heart of Henry he couldn’t handle telling you face to face. You must have been missing the subtle clues the whole damn time.
‘God, how stupid could you get?’
It wasn’t long before your phone started lighting up with messages from friends and family. All wondering why you weren’t with Henry. All asking who the other woman was. You didn’t have answers, you were in the dark just as much as they were. What you did have the answers to though, was the fact that Henry was with another girl and you weren’t going to stay and find out why.
Just as you were grabbing your clothes from the closet your phone rang. It was Henry’s ringtone, it was the first song you two ever slow danced to. In fact, it happened downstairs, Henry had made you dinner and had found an old swing record, turned out the swing record was a slow instrumental. He had been so disappointed but you had loved it, you had grabbed his hands and pulled him to you, just barely managing to not trip over Kal who had run between the two of you. Henry’s arms wrapped around you, encasing you in his warmth.
Blinking, you were brought back to the present when the phone stopped ringing. You bite your lip as you try to decide if you should call him back or not. The decision was made for you when it started ringing again. Taking a deep breath, you grabbed the phone and answered the call.
“H-Hello?” You answered, your voice shaking.
“Babe? Oh thank God, I wanted to talk to you before you went to bed.”
“Oh, what about?” Your response was nonchalant and straight to the point. There was a moment of hesitation before Henry’s voice picked back up. It was slightly deeper than his usual timber and your eyes narrowed. He only got that tone when he was feeling guilty for something or he was lying.
“There was a photo that got shared on Instagram. I wanted to clear things up before you jumped to conclusions.” Your jaw clenched and the muscles in your neck tightened. Your whole body was wound tight, it would only take a few words or actions to get you to snap.
“You mean the one with Shelby?” A wince was heard on the other line and your lips pulled up into a malicious smirk.
“Listen, babe, it really isn’t what it looks like. I had no-,”
“That’s the oldest line in the book, Henry. Were you there with her for dinner?”
“Yes, but baby-,”
“Then it is what it looks like Henry. I don’t see why you have to explain yourself to me. Clearly you would rather spend your time with her and not me. I got the message loud and clear. Don’t worry about me, go back to Shelby and have a wonderful night. In fact, don’t bother coming home at all, I won’t be here. Goodbye!” You were positively seething by the time you managed to get your little speech finished.
You hung up the phone and for the first time, wished that you could slam it as you hung up, really sending the point across. Instead, you threw the phone and grabbed a pillow, before burying your head in it and screaming yourself raw.
Your eyes were flooded with tears and your mouth wouldn’t stop quivering as your nose runs. You hadn’t cried this much since you were sixteen and your first boyfriend broke up with you.
“Babe. I’m home.” Henry called out as he sat his luggage by the door. Kal was sniffing around the house, his tail wagging when he came across a scent he recognized. Henry frowned, he wasn’t expecting you to come racing down the steps and into his arms, just like you always did, especially after the argument the two of you had but the house was too quiet and he was beginning to become concerned.
“Sweetheart, are you here?” He asked as he pushed open the bedroom door, but his suspicions were confirmed when he was met by the dark silence. Not a single sign of you. He pulled his phone out and dialed your number, it went straight to voicemail. Putting his phone back into his pocket he switched the light on and he looked around.
There, sitting on his pillow was an innocent purple paper, folded in half. He walked over to the bed and picked it up, his heart was racing and his palms were sweaty. Taking a deep breath he opened the letter and began to read.
Dearest Henry,
I know it was sudden and I know I owe you more of an explanation on why I left but frankly, I don’t want to. You did the one thing that you promised you would never do. I don’t know what I did to make you forget about me and stop loving me, and whatever it was I hope I can do better with the next man.
This letter isn’t meant to make you feel bad, I never want you to hurt. But I need you to know that seeing that other woman replace me hurt more than you can imagine. I thought what we had was good, I know it wasn’t perfect and I never wanted perfect, what I wanted was you. All of you, not just random parts, but everything.
I guess I never shared that information with you, maybe if I had you would have stayed longer. Maybe you would have seen how much I really love you and just want to be your everything. God knows you were my world, everything revolved around you. You were my sun and my moon and I never wanted to go a day without seeing your smile or hearing your voice call my name.
But like all love stories, I guess ours had to end too. Its a shame it ended the way it did. I hope you find peace and happiness Henry. I will always love you. Remember that for the rainy days.
Sincerely,
Yours.
P.S. I don’t want you to ever blame yourself for what happened Henry, I know you were trying to tell me you weren’t happy anymore. But we both know how dense I can be at times. I have one request though, Find happiness in everything you do. I don’t want you to ever stop smiling.
Henry felt the air leave his lungs in a choked gasp, quickly he got up and headed to the closet, hoping beyond hope that her clothes were still there. What awaited him was naked hangers and a coldness that seeped into his bones. She had really left, he should have gotten here faster. No, he should have been here from the beginning. He should have told Shelby that he wasn’t interested and left. His choice had cost him the one good thing in his life. His girl was no longer here and was ignoring him to top it off.
He sat on the bed, head in his hands as he tried to come up with a plan to get her back. He had, no he needed, to get her back, and soon.
He felt Kal nuzzle at his hands, his wet nose cold against his skin. A low whine was heard and he looked down at Kal, trying to blink the tears away before they could fall.
It had been two weeks since you had left Henry and you looked and felt awful. You had bags beneath your eyes, your hair was a rat’s nest and you couldn’t remember the last time you had eaten a meal that wasn’t chinese noodles and ice cream.
The thing that had gotten to you the most was the fact that Henry had fallen off the face of the Earth. He hadn’t contacted you and the media had no idea where he was. His fans were worried about him and so were you, much to your annoyance. The man could probably stab you and you would be more concerned about him than you.
Sighing, you grabbed your coffee cup and made your way outside to sit on the porch swing. You had rented a cabin from an old friend, it was in the middle of the woods, a meadow and a dirt road stretched out in front you, keeping you isolated from the media and your troubles.
You had just settled down when you noticed a dust cloud in the distance, not thinking much of it, you turned your gaze away to the pond beside the porch. A family of deer had made it their watering hole and you smiled as the fawn pranced around in the water, splashing its mother every couple of seconds.
Turning your attention away from the cute sight you cocked your head to the side when you noticed that the dust cloud was getting closer. You frowned and watched it, trying to decide if it was freak weather. No-one but your friend knew you were up here, and she wasn’t planning on visiting or she would have called.
Fear churned in your stomach as a black car came into view, spooking the dee family. Your fingers clutched the cup tightly, your knuckles turning white. You stood up and quickly moved back into the house, closing and locking all the doors and windows and pulling the shades down tight.
Grabbing your phone, you quickly pulled up the keypad and typed in a number. You waited as you heard the car pull up, tires crunching on the dirt and rock. The engine cut off and you moved further from the door, a car door opened and shut and footsteps moved closer to the cabin.
Your breathing was heavy and you clapped a hand over your mouth, trying to keep yourself as quiet as possible. Thuds echoed on the wooden porch and your thumb hovered the call button. Silence greeted your ears and you peered around you, trying to figure out what the next move would be.
You jumped when the front door was knocked on, your thumb accidentally hitting the call button. Your face paled when you realized just who it was you were calling.
Air left your body when you heard a familiar ringtone from the porch and you stood in the middle of the living room, waiting to hear the voice that belonged to the phone.
“Y/N.” The one word response held such relief and joy that your body trembled. Even from the other side of the door, you could make out the unmistakable tenor of Henry.
You quickly marched forward and wrenched open the door, phone falling to the ground as you launched yourself at the man. He stumbled back, not expecting you to come at him this way.
“You scared the shit out of me!” You breathed as you clutched at the back of his neck, your hands tangling in his dark curls. You could feel his beard scratch at your neck as he hugged you tightly to him. His face nuzzling against you, trying to inhale your familiar scent that he had missed.
“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” he chanted over and over. His frame shaking as he kept you pulled against him.
“I missed you so much, and I swear nothing happened with Shelby, it was just a dinner to get some more information about a new movie.” You pushed away from him, or at least tried, Henry seemed keen on making you apart of his body.
“Henry, I can’t talk to you this way, let me see your face.” You said as he finally released you. You took a few steps back, taking him in. He was wearing an old t-shirt that you bought him and some jeans, sneakers on his feet, his eyes were bloodshot and he appeared to have permanent bags under his eyes, his skin a pale white.
Your heart broke at the sight, but you also felt elated that he looked just as affected by you leaving, as you did.
You hesitated before asking, “You wanna come inside? I can make some tea or coffee?” Your fingers picked at the hem of your shirt as you awaited his reply.
“Yes, please.” His response was just as quiet as your question and you gave a weak smile. He was just as scared as you. Reaching out, you grabbed his hand and guided him into the cabin, he stood by the door as you walked around and opened the shades, letting in the natural light.
He followed as you moved towards the kitchen and got the kettle ready. You dug through a couple of cabinets before coming across some tea leaves. It was quiet, to quiet, and it unnerved you. Your hands fumbled as you measured out the tea into mugs. Your hands were halted by his as he grabbed the spoon from you and set it down on the counter.
You tensed as his arms wrapped around your waist, pulling your back against his chest.
“You need to breathe, slow deep breaths and then exhale.” His chest rumbled as he spoke, his fingers linking with yours as he placed your hands onto your chest, allowing you to feel each breath.
“Good girl, I have you now. Not letting you go.” The weight of his words hit you hard and tears blurred your vision.
“But you did let me go. You just left me, for her.” Your voice broke and every bad thought and insecurity hit you at once. Your knees buckled and Henry caught you as you fell. He guided the two of you to the floor, his legs criss crossed as he settled you into his lap.
“I never left you, you left me. You didn’t even give me the chance to explain.” Your head shook vigorously, hair getting caught in your tears, sticking to your face as you sobbed.
“You forgot me, replaced me with her. I was never good enough for you or the media.” You were silenced by Henry’s hands coming up and covering your mouth, not caring about the snot that was staining your face.
“I haven’t forgotten you, and I sure as hell did not replace you. Do you hear me?” He gently but firmly turned you around to face him. His blue eyes were shiny and he blinked a couple of times, willing the tears to go away.
“I took you for granted, thought you would always be there for me, even though I wasn’t for you. I am so sorry, sweetheart. I never meant to hurt you, ever.”
“Nothing happened?” You asked as you reached out and wiped a stray tear from his cheek.
“No, I was there with Shelby, yes, but there was also someone else I was having dinner with. Her name is Avery, she is producing a new movie that I have been trying to get in for a couple of months. Shelby is best friends with Avery, she was there to put a good word in. I tried to call you and let you know but I wasn’t able to get through to you. I had Liam email you the details, I didn’t think to check it before it was sent. I swear it wasn’t a date, I would never cheat on you.”
“It was for a movie? Why didn’t you tell me about this before? I had no idea you were trying to get an audition.” You could feel anger and guilt build up in you but also confusion. Why wouldn’t he tell you something like this. His eyes softened and his fingers reached up and rubbed your frown away.
“I wanted it to be a surprise, it's based off of your favorite book. I wanted to tell you when I was sure I had the part and I could come home in costume, make it really special.” A new sob tore from your throat and you crushed your lips against his. He was taken by surprise but quickly recovered, fingers tangling in your hair as he pushed you closer to him.
“I’m sorry I left and overreacted…” You winced as you pulled away, your fingers twirling a piece of hair, “also for leaving you a goodbye letter.” Henry breathed deeply as he licked his lips, his eyes searching yours.
“I’m sorry for keeping secrets and making you feel like you weren’t important and replaceable. I hated that I couldn’t be here with you, time always passes slower without you, even more so when I’m the one that made you leave.” A rueful smile touched his lips. You both sat in comfortable silence, your head resting on his chest as you listened to the beat of his heart.
“I discovered something else when you left.” He murmured, his lips pressed to the top of your head.
You grinned softly, “I did too.”
“Say it together on 3?” He asked as his hands rubbed up and down your sides. You smiled and titled your head up, lips brushing, you whispered, “1...2...3!”
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: Bucky thinks y/n is cheating on him with Steve, but everything is not as it seems.
Words: 1521
Warnings: Angst, fluff, sad Bucky, one swear word, assumed cheating(but not really)
A/N: This was an anon prompt. I hope you like it nonnie! The prompt was: “anonymous asked:Hello there! Would you mind doing an angsty oneshot where Bucky can feel his girlfriend falling out of love with him like the way she becomes less affectionate and more secretive? The ending is up to you ofc 😘😊” If you liked this please leave feedback/reblogs and consider donating to my Ko-Fi and/or Patreon. If you want to be tagged in future works, please send me an ask.
When Bucky's alarm goes off at 7 am he reaches out blindly with his flesh arm to shut it off before rolling over and slinging it over the other side of the bed, expecting to make contact with the soft, warm body of his girlfriend of the last three years. Instead, he encounters only cold sheets, signaling that she had left the bed long ago. Bucky frowns deeply. This is the nth time in the last few weeks that he had woken up alone and it was really starting to bother him. With a long-suffering sigh, he slips from the bed and pulls on a pair of sweatpants and a blue t-shirt before heading in search of his first caffeine boost for the day.
As he reaches the door to the communal kitchen he can her soft giggling from within. He rounds the corner to find y/n and Steve with their heads bent close together over a StarkPad, Steve's arm slung casually over her shoulders as he whispers in her ear. Whatever he told her causes her entire face to light up in the way that it only ever did when she saw Bucky. The sight before him makes dread settle in his gut and drives all thoughts of coffee from his mind. Instead, he turns sharply on his heel and marches towards the gym, needing to blow off some steam.
After a long workout session, in which several heavy-duty sandbags were sacrificed, and a long, hot shower, Bucky wanders into the gardens where there is a large gazebo with comfortable lounge chairs in which y/n liked to curl up and read. Sure enough, his girl (is she really still his girl?) sits curled up like a cat in the shade with her StarkPad, tapping away and paying no attention to the world around her.
He walks into the gazebo, making sure to make his steps audible against the wood. Yet she still startles slightly when he crouches in front of her, gently touching her knee. When she realizes that it's Bucky sitting with her, her eyes widen momentarily in panic before she quickly schools her features into a calm mask. "Hey, babe, how are you? I missed you at breakfast," she smiles softly as she runs her free hand through his hair.
"Training ran a little longer than usual," he says calmly as his eyes flutter closed of their own accord and he presses closer to her touch before pulling away a moment later. "What happened to you this morning? You were gone by the time I woke up," he asks, waiting to see her reaction.
If she's surprised, she certainly doesn't show it, she merely shrugs a shoulder and taps on the screen in front of her a few more times. "I had an early meeting with Tony about a few upgrades he wanted to make on my suit."
"Was Steve there?" he asks a little more harshly than he'd intended but it was too late to backtrack now so he went with it.
"Steve?" she blinks at him. "No, he was out running a few errands with Sam. Bucky, is everything alright? You don't seem like yourself," she asks as she leans forward to brush a few hairs from his eyes.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he grunts before composing himself and offering her a too-bright smile. "How about we go out to lunch at that little Italian place you like so much and then spend the afternoon getting lost in Target?"
"I wish I could, but I have a meeting with Tony in a few minutes. Maybe some other time?" she asks with an apologetic smile as she starts getting up to leave.
"Didn't you just have a meeting with Tony this morning?" Bucky asks as he rises with her.
"Yeah, but that was about suit upgrades, this is about a team-building event he wants to organize. I'll see you later, okay?" She turns and walks away from him without another word or even a kiss on the cheek. She always used to kiss him when she left. Was this the end of them? Sure Bucky had been a little busy with missions, bad guys never took a day off after all. But had he really pushed her into the arms of his best friend? These thoughts plague his mind as he turns and slowly wanders back into the compound.
The next few days are no better, in fact, they seem even worse. It's almost as if y/n and Steve are actively avoiding him, spending almost every moment together away from the compound and only returning long after everyone else has gone to sleep. He didn't think y/n was even sleeping in the same bed as him anymore.
It's on his way back from training the new recruits, walking past Steve's closed office door that he hears the words that make his heart drop to the floor and shatter into millions of tiny shards. "I think Bucky is onto us, Steve," y/n is saying, her voice quivering the way it does when she's on the verge of tears.
"What makes you say that?" Steve asks with a tinge of worry lacing his otherwise calm demeanor.
"Whenever we're in the same room together, he looks at me with these heartbroken puppy-eyes, he refuses to be near me, just this morning he called out 'Say hi to Steve' all sarcastic as I was leaving the kitchen. I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this, Steve. I hate lying to Bucky," she sobs.
Bucky hears Steve walking around his office, probably pulling y/n into his arms. "I know, sweetheart. But it's almost over. We just have to be patient for a few more hours, I promise," Steve soothes her as she continues to sniffle.
Bucky cannot stand there and listen to more of their conversation. He silently walks past the door and to his room. He had to get out of there.
He is in the middle of packing his duffle bag full of clothing when the door opens and y/n walks in. She stops short when she sees Bucky with his hands full of clothes. "Bucky? What are you doing?" she asks cautiously as she slowly edges closer to him, closing the door behind her.
"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm packing," he says harshly, completely ignoring how hurt she looks as he continues stuffing clothes into the black canvas.
"I can see that, but why? I don't know of any missions popping up," she says as she takes a seat on the bed.
"Because I can't be around you right now, y/n," he says without any emotion in his voice.
"Why?" she asks, tears starting to fill her eyes.
"Why?" Bucky gives a humorless laugh before continuing, "Because, I know, alright. I know about you and Steve, and I can't just stand back and watch you have an affair with my best friend!" he yells.
"Bucky... there's nothing going on between me and Steve. You're the only guy for me, I swear," she pleads with him while tears run down her face.
"If there's nothing going on between the two of you why have you both been avoiding me? Why haven't you so much as hugged me in almost a month? Why do I keep seeing the two of you all over the compound, looking all cozy and giggly? Why, y/n?" he asks, suddenly sounding tired and defeated.
"Because we've been trying to plan a surprise party for you, dammit! And everyone knows what shit liars we both are, so it was just easier to avoid you than accidentally letting something slip! I never wanted to hide things from you! I never wanted to avoid you when all I wanted to do is curl up next to you and never let you go because I love you!" she yells, feeling frustrated and heartbroken that Bucky could ever even think that she would be unfaithful to him. "I love you," she whispers as she slumps in on herself, sobbing.
"You've been planning a surprise party for me?" Bucky asks, completely dazed as he slowly processes everything y/n had just told him. "Oh, doll..." he whispers as he drops the clothes in his hands onto the bed and slumps to his knees before her, wrapping his arms securely around her quivering frame. "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry baby," he whispers in her ear repeatedly as he kisses every available inch of skin he can reach.
"I guess the cat's out of the bag now, huh?" y/n muses a long time later as she snuggles closer to Bucky's chest while his arms tighten around her.
"Just a little bit," he chuckles, "but I promise I'll still act surprised," he says before landing a kiss on the top of her head.
"I love you, Bucky Barnes," she says, stretching up gently kiss his mouth.
"I love you too, y/n y/l/n," he whispers against her lips before kissing her more firmly. The party could wait a little while longer, first, he had a lot of making up to do.
