My mom thinks I’m trying to steal my dad from her. Like, legitimately, I’m not kidding.
I’ve noticed her being weird about me being close to him practically since I moved in at 6 (for reference, I’m adopted). She started to get really territorial over him when I turned 12 though.
The first “large” instance of her being weird that I noticed/recognized was when I was in 6th grade. I was sitting next to MY DAD on the couch and leaned on his shoulder. She looked over and saw us and started flipping out. Telling me that it was inappropriate and I’m “not his wife”.
I immediately got off him and just felt so humiliated. I’m adopted from a sexually abusive household, so I’m not always the most “up to date” on what’s considered normal or acceptable behavior within families and other relationships. But I figured that it would be ok to lean on his shoulder? I had seen other kids do it both in person and on TV. And my sisters do it all the time and she’s never flipped out? And my sisters are my BIOLOGICAL sisters. We were adopted as a “sibling set”, we have the same mom, but different dads.i was so confused, but too embarrassed to fight back, so I simply apologized and went to my room. Dad didn’t say anything, and mom just gave me a dirty look.
I went a long time not touching anyone after that. No hugs from dad, no tapping friends on the shoulder, no shaking hands at church. I never hugged my mom or sisters anyway.
The next time that I can remember actually touching my dad after that was at my high school orientation. I was holding his hand because I was nervous. I was going to a new school, there were crowds of people everywhere, and mom had been bitching the whole day. So, while going on our tour, I grabbed his hand. I had thought it was perfectly normal. There were a couple other girls holding their parents hand, and I see people do it all the time. But, mom was walking behind us. And the second she noticed me holding his hand she marched forward and grabbed his arm, saying I was “too old to be acting like this”, and, reminded me yet again that I’m “not his wife”.
This went on and off for years. I had a small mental health crisis in my Junior year of high school and she had backed off a bit. I could get away with hugging him as long as it was a side hug and not a full hug. But I never tried to hold his hand for longer than a 3 second hand squeeze or anything else.
But today, I’m just confused all over again. I was in the kitchen, baking a cheesecake for my sisters birthday tomorrow, and had just popped the crust in the oven to bake, when I noticed our puppy scratching on the door to my parents room. I knew dad was in there cleaning a spot to put up a computer workspace, so I knocked on the door. He always keeps the door closed because he can’t tolerate heat and has a hundred and one fans going in there.
He says I can come in with the puppy and I open the door. Baby jumps on the bed and I go and start petting her with dad, and he asks me to shut the door to keep it cool in there, I listen because I’m not about to be the one to get bitched out later if he gets hot.
I shit the door and we’re both just in there innocently petting the baby, talking to her in baby voices, scratching her belly.
Then suddenly someone’s pounding on the bedroom door. Mom opens the door, looks at us, slams the door, and storms away? The puppies all pissed off now, because there was knocking on the door, so naturally it means we’re all about to get murdered. And the older dog starts flipping out too.
Dad and I walk out all confused. It’s been years since she’s threw a fit about us being near each other. I’m about to be 21, she hasn’t gotten pissed about this since I was 17. So we have no clue what’s going on.
We go out and ask what’s wrong, thinking she’s gotten in a fight with one of my sisters, or the older puppy is mad that she’s not getting attention too. And mom’s just being all quiet and not responding to us.
Finally dad gets pissed enough about the silent treatment and yells at her, and she starts yelling back about how it’s inappropriate for us to be in a room together with the door closed, and I’m too old to be acting like this, and blah blah blah.
Im really just so confused? I honestly don’t think I’ve been doing anything wrong. Maybe closing the door WAS pushing things a bit, but he asked me to? And why does she act this way about me and neither of my other sisters? I bet it’s because I was older when I was adopted and she probably thinks I’m “promiscuous” or something because of it. I was 6, almost 7 when adopted and my other sisters were 4 and 1.5. That’s really the only thing I can think of.
Anyways, if you made it to the end Thank You! And I apologize for the super long rant 😭 I’m just so confused and pissed right now :/
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