Pls snippet/tell me abt European butter, awkward roommates, beth x phoebe & champagne room 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼♀️
Oh gosh, this is going to be such a long post 🤣 (but thanks to y'all I got to re-read very confused bullet points lists and half-written paragraphs, it was extremely amusing)
European butter
This one was supposed to come after Tacos & Tequila in the now-defunct food series. Basically Beth and Rio start fucking again post S4, along with a vague money-laundering partnership. One night Beth asks Rio mid-fucking if he'd like to go get dinner sometimes (because she's a freak) and he agrees.
They go on a dinner date, and Rio picks that pretentious restaurant Fitz took Beth to once, hence the title. Obviously, the date is a complete disaster of awkwardness, they're distraught in the end because they were both secretly hoping to start an actual relationship, they make out angstily in the street as a result, and the ending is sweet and full of hope although things are left a bit unresolved.
It's a pity I'll probably never finish it because I have more than a thousand words written already... have this snippet that made me snort because I'd completely forgotten about writing that:
She clears her throat, tries to dissipate the awkwardness.
"Do you have, like, a hobby?" she asks, on the verge of losing her mind at getting to such trivialities. Does she know anything about this man? "What do you do to relax when you're at home?"
"Mölkki."
"Bless you," she responds to the enigmatic eructation.
"Nah, it's the name of a game, mama," he says next, pompous almost.
He then delves into rules and specifics so odd Beth is half convinced Rio just made up this entire Scandinavian game backstory to avoid revealing any actual information on his likings.
God. As if things could get any worse already.
Awkward roomates
I have a detailed outline on this one but not a single sentence written haha, so there are even fewer chances I ever get back to it...
This would have been a post-canon fic where Beth and Rio have parted ways, except that one night he and Mick stumble upon a traumatized Beth while casually disposing of a body in the woods (as bros do). She's barely able to walk or speak so Rio grumpily brings her back to his place so she can rest. In the morning she's slightly better and explains that she's been abducted (there's a whole backstory that I won't detail here), she clearly has PTSD so Rio allows her to stay at his place for the day while he goes on his own business errands and evening plans.
Except that Beth's still there when he comes home at night, because she's panicking and developing some sort of agoraphobia due to her trauma, leaving her unable to leave Rio's apartment. At this point they fuck, which I guess gives Beth a free pass to stay longer, lol.
Awkward domesticity ensues. Rio's still grumpy but secretly enjoying it. One day he comes home and she's gone, having finally recovered enough, and he realizes he misses her.
I found this line in my doc:
Things get weird. He's aware that from an outsider's perspective she looks like the perfect stay-at-home wifey, while he's precisely the only person with whom she ain't... that.
Beth x Phoebe
I *think* it was supposed to be an S4 canon-divergence where Beth sleeps with Phoebe during one of their little hotel room drinking dates? I honestly don't recall much of how it was supposed to end, or start, or what was happening beyond that, except that it was a Phoebe POV.
I shared a fair bit of it here already so here's another line:
She texted Dave 'I have company 🍆 '.
He answered with 💦💪 which she isn't sure was meant for her or him given that he's spending the evening at the gym as a result.
Champagne room
Ah. The infamous fuck-or-die fic... This one got reaaaally close to getting posted, my draft has more than 3k written words of it... maybe one day... the main concept was that, through extremely convoluted circumstances, mid S3 - early S4 (aka sworn enemies) Beth and Rio end up in a situation where they have to fuck in front of an audience at the strip club not to blow up a cover (that would get both of them in real danger).
Obviously dark-grey dubcon ensues here, they're both extremely reluctant but also extremely into it because they're freaks. Power plays also ensue. There's some grumpy but soft aftercare in the end. The people around are extremely gross. Also there's a dude named Gene who's way too much into Beth and Rio's sex life.
There's already a chunky snippet here, but have another one:
They've been ten minutes or so in this mockshow of foreplays — and by then Elizabeth's breathing has quickened, her cheeks reddened, and his body fucking responded cause there's only so many times she can smash her tits at his face and expect him to remain impassible — when Gene decides to be a cunt again, probably to impress Mr. Bad Guy or some shit. The way Gene's got the mentality of a fucking puppy is genuinely baffling.
"Hey, man, are you going to fuck her or what?" he asks, his own hands roaming all around the dark-haired girl Rio's pretty sure goes under the stage name of Gloria who's kneeling in front of him, decidedly undoing his pants.
Elizabeth straightens a bit at this to look towards Gene with a disgusted expression, mimics a retch before she brings her lips close to Rio's ear. "Ew. Who even are those guys?"
Right? At least someone else gets it.
Kun Pao Chicken
I'm doing this one as well since I didn't want to start splitting comments in half.
This one would have been the third installment of the food series (after European butter, unless it's the other way around, I don't remember) and would have focused on Mick and Annie's relationship. Initially it was supposed to be a judgmental Brio witness to snacking buddies to friends to lovers kind of sitch, alas season 4 ending made things quite harder in this regard.
The title was supposed to reference the fact that Mick and Annie would order Chinese food to share during stakeouts. Basically, it would have been both their POVs roasting Beth and Rio and slowly falling in love with each other.
I have nothing really written besides these two lines of dialogue right before their first kiss:
"You know, your sister ain't the most interesting girl in the room."
"She's not?" Annie's voice breaks a little in her throat. "Well, your boss isn't the most interesting boy in the room either."
Once you get this, you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly. Then you have to send this to ten of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool~)🌈💖🌈💖🌈
Awwwww, thank youuuuuu!!! 💖💖
Well, "about myself" isn't very specific in terms of skills/personality traits/physical appearance/whatever so I'd say:
How does each character react to an airline strike at MJN Air?
"You cannot go on strike!"
"Why not?"
"For one thing, Martin, we're not actually a commercial airline, we are a charter airline. And for another thing, one must be unionized in order to strike. Douglas! did you put him up to this?"
"I? A mere co-pilot? Second in command? How could I possibly influence our fearless leader?"
"But Douglas, I thought you said it would be funny to wind both Martin and Mum up at the same time?"
