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( task 001: family )
anna bodden, nee abara - angela basset (mother, age 59)
alejandro ‘xander’ bodden - jimmy smits (adoptive father, age 65)
omar johnson - denzel washington (biological father, age 60 - not pictured)
sofia imani bodden - kylie bunbury (age 35)
1. when you were younger, did you look more like your mother or father?
My mother, although I still think I look a lot like her.
2. what about now? do you think your attitudes resemble anyone from your family?
I guess it depends on the situation. If it’s related to the werewolf life, I’d say my father, maybe? Especially with all the history that comes with being a Bodden and trying to become a good Alpha to my pack. I know that no matter how hard I try not to, my actions will, if not always, but most of the time, reflect of someone else’s and maybe that someone is my father. For everything else, I’m a lot like my mother.
3. write about your favorite memory with a family member
I have so many–it’s hard to choose just one. But for the sake of this, I’ll try and choose one. I think I’ll go with the day I came home from my military training camp for Christmas. Usually, soldiers stay in their designated base camps, but it was the holidays and they allowed us a leave of absence for those few days. I had just been promoted to a higher rank and was coming home to tell them, but my dad being my dad, already knew about it.The way my parents looked at me–like I had accomplished something. Like they were proud of me for some reason.
4. what is family to you?
Family are the ones who are with you through thick and thin. It’s my pack, my friends, my significant other. Family is what makes me, me.
Listen Spotify (x) or Youtube Music (x)
Sounds of Loneliness
Songs for Sahid’s youth, their time as a good Christian boy, hiding in plain sight while also creating destruction.
#01 All the Kids are Depressed by Jeremy Zucker
I think too much, we drink too much Falling apart like it's just nothing I want to know where do we go When nothing's wrong
#02 Heather by Conan Gray
Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty
#03 Comfort by Rusty Clanton
It’s not what I see, we do what we can Who said I need to hit bottom to change the way I am
#04 The Descent by Bastille
It's gonna break me Won't you let me go Leave it 'till the morning I don't wanna know It breaks my heart It breaks my heart in two
#05 Four Walls by Bastille
And now we're faced with two wrongs Now we're faced with two wrongs I don't know, oh, I don't know
Sounds of Willpower
These songs are for the period of time Sahid spend winning back their stepbrother’s trust, paying off their stepfather, and being the pariah in town.
#06 Leave the City - Twenty One Pilots
In time, I will leave the city For now, I will stay alive
#07 I’ll Be Good - Jaymes Young
For all of the light that I shut out For all of the innocent things that I doubt For all of the bruises I've caused and the tears For all of the things that I've done
#08 Sledgehammer - Rihanna
I hit a wall, I thought that I would hurt myself Oh I was sure, your words would leave me unconscious And on the floor I'd be lying cold, lifeless
Sounds of Sorrow
Sahid won back their trust, and everything seemed alright until Cassie disappeared. These songs are for that year, before they move to Astoria.
#09 The Village - Wrabel
Feel the rumors follow you from Monday all the way to Friday dinner You got one day of shelter, then it's Sunday hell to pay, you young lost sinner
#10 Oblivion - Grimes
'Cause when you're runnin' by yourself It's hard to find someone to hold your hand
#11 Gravel to Tempo - Hayley Kiyoko
Stuck but I have got to begin to resist Caught up with the fact that life will be dark But can we handle being kids?
Sounds of Hope
Songs for Sahid’s “escape” from Wheeler, coming to their own, finally finding the freedom they’ve been so desperate for.
#12 Exhale - Jonsi
This is the way it is It isn't your fault
#13 Boys - Charlie XCX
But I was busy thinkin' 'bout boys, boys, boys I was busy dreamin' 'bout boys, boys, boys Head is spinnin' thinkin' 'bout boys
#14 Found/Tonight - Ben Platt + Lin-Manuel Miranda
Even when the dark comes crashing through When you need a friend to carry you And when you're broken on the ground You will be found
[ LISTEN HERE ]
ALEYNA GREER ► ❝ I’m just trying to grow, keep an open mind ❞ {playlist - astoria task #004; LISTEN}
LAUREL GAVARIS ► ❝ But I think that you are made of stardust ❞ {playlist - astoria task #004; LISTEN}
( ASTORIA TASK #3: ALTERNATE UNIVERSES )
sliding doors ( self-paras )
warnings: death, murder, abuse, blood, violence, imprisonment, pregnancy, bad writing
mentions: zakary prashad, moonji min, minamoto no osamu, aleyna greer
Has it ever crossed your mind? That perhaps, somewhere else, we all live a different life, with different relationships... in another world? --- Train, 2020.
--- ( universe #1: learn to hate ) ---
Open cell 58!
The clanking sound of the metal gates had always given him a skull-piercing headache. He blamed it on the heavy annulling spells that surrounded the prison. Within each brick on the walls, to the fences around it, lights, windows… everything in there, there was a spell to cancel out everyone’s powers. Vampires had their supernatural strength and speed canceled out. Same for werewolves and shapeshifters. Humans didn’t need spells in the first place, so they didn’t feel any difference.
His block was one designated to violent criminals, and he had to say, he was one of the quiet ones in there. The warlock looked up from the book he’d been reading all week when a guard stepped inside, wearing protective gear that had been magically made to cancel out the annulling spells, thus enabling their powers. It was a smart move, he reckoned. Less dangerous for everyone. Human rights activists were certainly thankful for that—well, human rights was a way of putting it.
The guard prompted him up from his bed with the stern attitude that was required from prison guards anywhere in the world. The warlock rolled his eyes at the demand as he adjusted his glasses and abided to the man’s request, standing up from his bed and stretching out his arms to have his hands cuffed to his ankles. His powers might have been cancelled, but physical assaults were still a thing, and dangerous criminals were usually violent. Many had hit the guards before, so, this was a simple precaution.
He was brought to the visitation room, where other prisoners, each sat on round tables and chat with their loved ones. His eyes landed on a table where a single person sat, staring out at the bars behind the window near him. The same person that stood up when the prisoner approached him.
“Mr. Locke.”
He said, drawing out his hand, to which, the warlock showed his own hands, cuffed together and with a chain tying them to his ankles, making it impossible for him to return the gesture and shake hands.
“Right. Um… my name is Zakary Prashad and I’m a journalist for the Astoria Times.” The journalist produced a business card and slid it across the table, before both him and the warlock sat down. “I’m writing a piece on violent crimes that have happened in Astoria in the last twenty years and was wondering if I could ask you some questions.”
The warlock glanced over at the card, before shifting his gaze up to the journalist and shrugged. “You’re already here, so it’s not like I have a choice, is it?” A smirk appeared on his lips, fingers lacing on the table as he leaned in.
Zakary asked if he could record their conversation, to which he received a positive answer to, and so, he pulled out the little note book he’d carry everywhere, where he’d written some questions and started reading from his own scribbles.
“So… Leon Locke… twelve years ago, you murdered your entire coven in cold blood. Including your parents and sibling. What led you to do it?”
His tongue traced his bottom lip. It was almost as if he could still remember having his face and name covering every newspaper and magazine in the district. The flashes were blinding, mixed with the amount of drugs he had in his bloodstream at the time, they made everything much worse. In a way, it was almost funny that someone had decided to write a piece on him, because, although he was considered himself to be a violent criminal, Leon had never been more at peace than behind those walls. The blood in his hands had been justified. He had the right to do it. They had taken everything from him, he was simply returning the favor.
“I felt like it.”
A short answer, followed by a shrug of his shoulders. That same smirk went back to his lips, as if to pester the journalist.
“Records show that you came to your coven meeting one day, bringing several knives with you and, in a fit of rage, used your powers to kill them all in cold blood. Is that true?” Zakary tried once again.
“If you already have the information, then why are you wasting your time, asking me to tell you what happened?” Leon fired back.
“I wanted to hear your version of it.”
Beside giving his own confession in court, Leon hadn’t had the media approaching him, wanting to know his version of the story. They were all quick to judge, to paint him as a heartless monster, and with all honesty, he couldn’t care less about the titles, but knowing that someone was willing to listen was actually—entertaining.
There was a long pause between Zakary’s words and until Leon decided to share his version of what happened. Enough time for him to think this through and if it was worth going back to that night and reliving all of that once again. He hadn’t thought about that night in a while, so, his memories could be a little hazy. Especially since it had been a drug-induced rage fit.
“People tend to think that my adoptive mother was a saint.” He began. “You know… stellar citizen, bright smile, paid her taxes… all that shit. I guess everyone becomes a saint if they’re murdered… But I don’t remember a single day where that woman didn’t abuse me. Mentally, physically, psychologically… take your pick. For 20 years she was the devil in disguise, offering smiles to others while making me suffer at home.”
He paused, his dark hues moving up to the clock on the wall. They didn’t have much time left, maybe Leon could take advantage of it. Maybe he could just refuse to see Zakary the next time. “I started using drugs to numb the pain. Not the usual legal shit like weed. The heavy stuff so I could pass out and not think about it. Ever tried anything?”
“Can’t say that I have, no.”
Prude. Leon thought to himself.
“This one day, I come home—I was 18, by the way. So, I come home from a late soccer practice and Althea’s talking to her ancestors about how murdering my real parents hadn’t done anything for her yet. How sacrificing them hadn’t given her the power she was promised.” His smirk turned into a thin-lipped, tainting smile to Zakary as Leon tilted his head to the side. “That’s not something one would like to hear, right? So, I started planning to leave that house. I stopped going to coven meetings and became more recluse. I relied more on drugs and less on people. I lost my scholarship to college because I didn’t past the drug test, so of course, they had to notify Althea and her husband. And of course, I was punished for it.”
Leaning over the table, the smirk was back on his lips.
“Would you like the details of how she hexed me?” Although he asked, Leon didn’t leave much room for an answer. “One day, two years later, I finally gave in. It was a full moon… one that messed up with the witches’ powers, so that, mixed with the drugs?” He whistled, in order to illustrate his feelings. “I finally exploded…”
He let out a dark chuckle as he stared at his hands, as if he could feel that same power emanating from his fingertips. Flashes of that night filled his mind. The glory and gore of that night and the relief he felt while energy was pulsating through his veins. He could feel their blood splatting on his skin, painting him red while he screamed in anger. In agony.
One of the guards pulled him up, also pulling Leon out of his trance while announcing that visitation time was over.
“Yeah, I killed them all…” Leon said while looking at Zakary, a teasing smirk toying on his fleshy lips. “And you know what—I don’t regret any of it.” He leaned in so that only the journalist would hear it, before the guard pulled him away.
“Come back next week!” He shouted, while being dragged out of the visitation room. “Don’t miss me too much!”
--- ( universe #2: wrong side of heaven ) ---
There were too many people crying around him. He needed a break.
That was what Leon told himself as he stepped out of the wake room and headed outside for a minute. At least, the sounds of a busy Seoul would help him keep his mind on track. The striped band on his right arm, indicating he had lost someone and was in mourning, made people bow in respect whenever they walked past him. Sure, Leon appreciated the gesture, but it wasn’t like he was sad. In so many ways, he was thankful for the loss of his mother. The old woman was becoming more of a nuisance in her old days, than anything else. His father, far too busy juggling between guiding a coven and taking care of his senile wife to care about how Leon led his life, nor how dark magic was still a constant in their lives. Despite all it had taken in order to restore the balance of nature.
Leon took a drag from his cigarette, then tugging on the sleeve of his perfectly tailored suit while his eyes observed the movement of the city. Fast-paced cars, people coming and going as the lights went from red to green, then red again. He had come a long way since his childhood in Busan. A time where feelings were still present in his life. Now, he walked around Seoul as an empty shell, all thanks to the years of dealing with dark magic. He had never intended to start meddling with it. Not really. But from watching his mother practice it, he became curious. When the darkness lured him in, the tempting claws making offers he couldn’t deny, Leon didn’t resist.
It had given him everything in this world: power, influence, more money, coven members that followed him blindly as if he was some sort of god instead of his own head priest… but it had stripped him naked from harboring any feelings or dealing with emotions, which, the way he saw it, was nothing in comparison to what he’d gained. At least it had kept his sanity and youth, which was more than he could say for his mother, who decayed in months what most people did in decades.
The future was going to present him with a coven that Leon wasn’t certain he wanted in the first place. Sure, Leon was a natural-born leader, but his ideals were far from what most witches in his father’s coven wanted to hear. Now, he thought more of himself as a one-man army, rather than anything else. Chances were, he would most likely end up dissolving his father’s coven. Like mentioned before, most witches didn’t exactly agree with his thoughts, and the ones he found that actually agreed on witches being superior beings, turned out to be as greedy as him, which—was something Leon didn’t have time to waste with. Not when it meant what it usually did: a childish fight to decide who was the most powerful witch. He had no quarrel with fellow witches and their agenda of who’s coven was the most powerful. His problem was with humans. The ones that had burned his ancestors at the stake and forced his kind to live in secrecy.
Evolution, like one of their humans had presented so magnificently, was about the survival of the fittest. Evolution had given witches powers for a reason, to place them above any puny human, so how dare they think of themselves as the ones who should be out there, enjoying their lives while the witches hid in fear for their lives and practiced their magic in secrecy? Yes, Leon had found it fair to take matters into his own hands, thus carrying a lot of blood in them, but, the way he presented his case to his coven members whenever the topic would surface, had painted him as their hero and not a murderer. Why should they be the ones suffering? Magic ran in their veins, it made them three steps above humans. Like they should have always been. Why should they be the ones fighting for their lives? Humans shoulder fear witches, not the other way around.
“Yeobo.”
A voice pierced through his thoughts and it made Leon clench his jaw as the woman wrapped her arms around his middle and searched for his eyes. His mother’s last wish, was for him to marry a nice woman in order to continue their family’s legacy, and despite having done what she had asked for, Leon felt nothing for this woman. She was nice. Beautiful, smart, very interested and invested in the coven… He could see she cared for him, loved him even, which almost made him wish he cared enough to want her to find someone more suitable, someone who would reciprocate her love, but said feeling was not there.
“Are you okay? Abeonim is asking about you.”
“I came out to smoke. I’ll be there soon.”
His wife planted a kiss on his cheek and returned to the funeral home. Leon stayed outside just long enough to take a last drag of his cigarette, before dropping it to the ground and smashing it with the sole of his shoe.
On his way back, he walked past another wake room. The commotion inside made him stop and look in. People were crying… louder than he wanted them to. Older people were always so loud, weren’t they? Death was an inevitable part of life. Plus, it wasn’t like the veil was thick enough that they had to scream like that.
Inside, a younger woman held onto an older one. The loud old lady.
The sign outside read Min Moon Bin. A name he’d never heard before, but then again, Leon couldn’t know everyone in Seoul. On one corner another young woman was curled up crying. She looked more exhausted than most in that room. A smiling face on that picture frame, was surrounded by flowers. The man had died young—he couldn’t have been older than Leon. Actually, he didn’t even look the warlock’s age. Leon, despite not being an empath, could feel the love filling the room. A mix of love and sadness.
The woman that had been holding onto someone that seemed to be her mother, acknowledged his presence by the entrance. She asked her father to come to her mother’s aid and approached Leon. Her eyes were red from crying, he noticed, but her face didn’t look wet. She had probably cried in secrecy, away from the crowd. For a brief second, he wondered if that made her feel better, before the thought dissipated in his mind.
“Thank you for coming.” She bowed, and Leon arched one brow. The fact that she was assuming he knew the deceased, was hilarious. Yet, he bowed as well, mostly out of respect. “Were you friends with my brother?”
“We worked together.”
He lied. Nobody ever really ask questions whenever work was involved. Especially family. One’s family almost always knew what they did for a living anyway. Plus, lying came so easy to him, that Leon almost believed himself.
“Oh…” The brunette paused. Leon was ready to give a random excuse and leave when she continued. “So… were you there when he had his accident?”
Work-related accident. Color him curious.
“No. I was traveling abroad.”
Another pause. Silence.
He needed to leave. This was too suffocating.
“I—”
“I’m Moonji.” They spoke at the same time and Leon decided to let her continue before he gave an excuse and left. She didn’t feel like a witch. Definitely supernatural, though. “I was his older sister.”
“Choi Lee Ahn.”
He offered one hand, the other touching his stomach from over his clothes, as a sign of respect. Once Moonji let go of his hand, Leon fished his phone from inside his pocket, thankful that it had started vibrating a couple of seconds ago and it provided him the perfect excuse to leave. The warlock waved the gadget at the brunette, pointing towards the exit before he stepped away to take the phone call.
It was his wife, once again looking for him.
Back in his own crowded wake room, Leon could definitely use a drink. He was about to head towards the eating area to open a bottle of soju when he felt someone touching his shoulder, prompting him to turn around.
“Excuse me.” Moonji said, as she pointed towards the band on his arm. “I just wanted to say... I’m sorry for your loss, too. You left before I could say anything.”
“Ah…” He replied, gaze going to his arm as well. “Thank you.”
Silence yet again. People were so exhausting to him. Strangers even more so. He just wanted his drink.
“You should go. I’m sure your family misses you.”
As rude as that might have been, Leon also knew that in times like these, people were far too inclined to offer a helping hand and well—he wasn’t in need. Death wasn’t as bad as people painted it out to be, and for someone like him, it was barely felt. Yet, Leon knew that for the world, he needed to keep on acting like he was affected by it. When he died, he knew many would miss him. Life in society had given him a wife, co-workers, a coven. Plus, he knew how to be charismatic enough to leave his mark in people’s life. Hopefully, none of these people would make a scene at his funeral, but he knew he would be missed. What difference that piece of knowledge had in his life? None whatsoever.
With that thought in mind, he popped open a bottle of soju, pouring himself a glass.
--- ( universe #3: beyond ) ---
It had been a busy day to Leon. From dealing with a minor crisis at the clinic first thing in the morning, to commuting all the way to Hull’s Island to pay his parents a visit, arriving home felt like a reward for such an eventful and emotionally charged day. It was his turn to buy dinner, but with his head about to explode, Leon figured they could just order something later that night.
The ring around his finger hung heavy that evening for some unknown reason and, as he made his way further inside his house, walking past several picture frames symbolizing his life achievements, that feeling slowly dissipated. From college graduations, to vacations with friends, coven meetings, witches’ celebrations, as well pictures from his wedding day, it was odd to think that Leon had everything he’d ever ask for and so much more. As respectable job, loyal friends, a loving wife who knew how to call him out when he was in the wrong, two adorable little cats who were probably hiding out somewhere in the house… all of it dawned upon him as some sort of gift. Maybe it was life’s way of paying him back for doing what he did all those years ago.
Upon calling out for his wife, the warlock was brought to the master suite, where her voice guided him to the bathroom. He couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her in the bathtub, extending an invitation to join her. Knowing himself, Leon was well aware that he could never say no to her, so, once he’d gotten rid of his clothes, he sat behind her, his arms immediately wrapping around her petite frame.
“How are they?”
She asked, resting her cheek against his arm, while Leon gently pushed her hair away in order to plant kisses along her shoulder.
“I’m not sure… I mean, as well as one would possibly be in prison, I guess.”
Most days, Leon still struggled to decide whether he still felt guilty about being the one to call the authorities on his parents or not. Ever since they had moved to Astoria, when he was still a child, Leon had witnessed both of his parents practicing dark magic. Much of it happened during his childhood, so it made sense that he wouldn’t remember it. He even thought they had stopped, that they wouldn’t be crazy enough to move to a country that treats practicing dark magic as a crime, and still practice it. However, when he realized that his parents had continued to consistently breaking the law, Leon was old enough to know right from wrong, thus, reporting his parents to the police and watching as they landed in jail this day, ten years ago.
His lips brushed softly against her skin, caressing her shoulders with their light touch. His hands traveled downward, resting on her growing bump, yet another shift in his reality, but one Leon welcomed happy. The baby she had been expecting hadn’t been at all planned. Knowing of his wife’s lack of desire to be a mother, Leon was just as surprised as she was when she mentioned being late. At first, there was confusion and desperation on both sides, but Leon figured that the burden was heavier for her. Communication was essential, and Leon was glad that he was able to make her know that no matter what, he would support any decision of hers. He’d never had strong wishes to become a parent either, but, in his mind, the difference between them was that unlike his wife, he wouldn’t say no if the chance presented itself.
Well, in the end, she ended up getting cold feet on their drive to Planned Parenthood a few months ago, and they eventually decided to keep the baby. In the end, they both accepted their reality when parenthood presented itself. They were happy without a child, and they could be happy with one too… it wasn’t like they were bad people to begin with. It wasn’t like they wouldn’t give their best.
“Don’t be mad, but…”
Leon began, and his wife was quick to complete his sentence.
“…But you forgot to buy dinner.”
His wife turned her head in order to face him, rolling her eyes playfully when their gaze met. The small gesture causing his heart to skip a beat while he traced patterns over her bump.
“I’m sorry. I’ll order something once we leave here, okay? Any special requests? What are you in the mood for?”
“Hmm… definitely something cheesy.” Scrunching her nose at him, she continued, leaning up to press a kiss on his lips. “Like you.”
Leon couldn’t help but to chuckle at her joke. He was a little cheesy, there was no way of denying that… his wedding vows would know. But he didn’t think it was that bad to be this open about his feelings and about how much he loved this woman. He’d give her the world if that’s what she wanted. They’d been married for a couple of years, dated for even longer, so he would take it as a sign that she didn’t mind his cheesy ways either. In order to get revenge for the joke, however, Leon took advantage of his hand’s positions and started tickling her for a brief moment. He lived for moments like these, where her laugh would echo through a room and recharge his dying batteries. Or simply… whenever they got to spend a moment in each other’s company, just sharing ideas about which part of the house they should renovate next or talking nonsense together.
The clinic he worked at was doing some renovations, so Leon was often updating her on its progress, as well as on the progress of a little Boston Terrier’s recovery that had been rescued from a situation of abuse and was being treated by Osamu, one of his co-workers. Whenever he could, Leon sent her pictures of him (the dog, not Osamu) and if it wasn’t for the baby growing in her womb, he was sure that the puppy would end up being adopted by them once he was ready to be adopted. They were already so invested in him... Sadly, they had different priorities at the moment, but hey—they would survive. For now, they were fine just looking at pictures. Leon also let her in on what had happened at the clinic earlier that day because during his lunch break, he hadn’t been able to give her much details on it. But these three cats had been brought in after being rescued from a house fire, and Leon, being as soft for cats as he was, of course felt like his energy had been quickly drained.
His wife left the bathtub before Leon did. Choosing to stay back for a few minutes more, Leon tried to make sense out of how he felt after visiting his parents in prison. He had made a habit out of it, but not one that would make him feel bad. Every year, not necessarily on that same day, he’d pay them a visit to see how they were doing. Now, without the temptations of dark magic surrounding them, they could understand why Leon had done it. Apparently, there was some sort of group counselling in prison, too. It helped lessen his burden, but in all honesty, it would never be easy to carry the weight of knowing you had been responsible for the imprisonment of one’s parents. With a sigh and once he was ready, Leon dried himself and wrapped a towel around his middle and made his way to the master bedroom.
His arms went around her petite frame again, taking in the scent of her exposed skin. Leon knew he wouldn’t be able to be where he was without her. No big sacrifices had been made in order for them to work, but he knew not to take for granted her constant support, especially when it came to sharing his burdens with her. It was something he did with hers as well, but Leon could only speak for himself.
Turning her around to face him, Leon offered her a small smile as he brushed her dark strands behind her ear. The light pink in her cheeks making him wonder if she was blushing or if she was just feeling hot due to her body’s adjustments to the new life it was carrying.
“Have I told you how much I love you, Aleyna?”
“Hm. How much do you love me?”
She was trying to act casual. Unbothered, even. Rolling her eyes and trying not to laugh at his antics, having known this type of conversation for a while now. It was actually pretty common between them. Common enough for Aleyna to know how to respond to it already.
“Ah… to the moon and back.” He said and she nodded, waving her hand at him as if asking for more examples. “As much as the stars in the sky.”
Finally, Aleyna scrunched her nose, sticking her tongue out at his response. She did say she wanted something cheesy.
“I love you more than I love our cats.”
“Right. Now I believe you.”
Ally chuckled, patting lightly on his chest as she tried to get away from his grasp, but Leon kept her from doing so. Crouching down a little, his arms went behind her thighs and he picked her up. One arm adjusted around her back, while the other guided one leg around his waist, hoping the other would follow. The motion caused his towel to drop to the floor, but he paid no mind to it. The walk to their bed was too short for him to care. Laying her down, he hovered on top of her.
“Are you happy?” Aleyna questioned while Leon caressed her hair.
He didn’t answer it at first. For a long time, it was hard for Leon to understand what happiness truly meant. For a long time, he didn’t know if he would ever be. Maybe life would find a way of punishing him for doing what he did to his parents. Was he a bad son? And if he were, what kind of parent would that make him? Time showed that it was possible to be happy. That he had a good life. Time had given him friends, his pets, a family in Aleyna and now, a baby. But was he happy?
“I am.”
Leon nodded slowly, ducking his head to rest his forehead against hers.
“I am. I really am. Are you?”
With that, he pulled away so he could look into her eyes. Aleyna made a silly face, pressing her lips together and crinkling her nose as she held her index finger and thumb at a short distance from one another.
“A little?” He replied with humor filling his voice, moving up to his knees in the space between her thighs and leaning down to press a kiss on her lips. “Just a little?” Leon teased, mimicking the motion of her fingers, before stealing another kiss. “I guess I should work harder then, right?” With that, he tugged on her legs, pulling her downward on the mattress and closer to him. A chuckle left his lips and was muffled by hers as he deepened their kiss.
Dinner could wait a little more.
( ASTORIA TASK #3: GHOSTS )
you’re my spring ( self-para )
location: sara’s house
inspired by this song (technically it’s inspired by his whole album but shhh)
--- The book that weighed on her chest and stirred her awake let her know that Sara had, once again, slept while reading... and it wasn’t a common thing anymore. Not ever since sleepless nights were all that she had to look forward to... not ever since empty nights spent on an empty bed meant he was never going to be there anymore. With a sigh, Sara closed the book and set it aside before sitting up on her bed and checking the time on her phone’s screen. She’s had the strangest dream... one that involved her late husband, and he was sitting by her bed, watching her sleep. It broke her heart to wake up, but now that she was awake, all of those feelings had no meaning anymore, right?
Running her hand over her face, Sara climbed out of bed and made her way to the bathroom to wash her face with cool water as the sun slowly rose outside her windows. God, she hated summer. From there, she could hear the faint sound of giggles, which, she had to admit: it was a weird sound to hear in the middle of the night. Her first instinct was to reach for the baby monitor to check in on Woobin’s nursery. Nothing, just a giggly baby moving on his crib... well, at least he wasn’t crying. Thankfully.
She opened the nursery’s door and--well, if she could, she would’ve screamed, but shock kept her from doing anything except for reaching for a stuffed animal and throwing on the back of the figure that was standing by her son’s crib. When the baby Koala flew right through the man’s head, stealing a sound from Sara’s lips that she didn’t even know what it was, but it felt a lot like a yelp.
“You’re awake.”
That voice. She knew that voice. She had woken up to and fallen asleep to it for several years. But... No. It just wasn’t possible. What a cruel dream to have.
“자기... he’s so beautiful. He looks so happy too.”
As he turned around and Sara finally recognized Moonbin’s features, shock finally allowed her to move, even if it meant her knees giving in and her dropping to the floor. She had missed him so much.
“Sara-ssi... please don’t be scared. I don’t have much time, and I really wanted to see you both one last time. Can---can you get up?”
Moonbin offered his hand, but for a while, Sara didn’t move. The sobs that escaped her lips kept her from saying anything as well.
“H-how...?” She finally let out, her voice shaking with a mix of fear, shock, and definitely heartbreak. “Why? How--how are you here? Are you... are you real?”
He let out a soft chuckle, choosing to sit down on the floor, across from Sara. “The full moon.” Of course. She should’ve figured it out by now that no full moon would be a peaceful one in Astoria. “The veil between our worlds is thinner... we could step over to this side. I’m so happy you can see me, 자기.” Moonbin reached over, touching Sara’s hand and the smile that appeared on his lips made her heart stop for split second. Although there was something different in the way his touch felt, at this point, Sara didn’t care. Soon, her arms were around him and she was holding onto him as if she’d been holding onto her dear life.
“I miss you. I miss you so much. Please don’t leave me.”
This might not have been the Moonbin she wanted--her warm, sandalwood-scented, soft Moonbin--but she would take any version of him she would get. His touch was colder, and it felt like at any second, he would vanish in her arms, but... but this was good. It made her feel something she hadn’t felt in months. Something Sara didn’t quite know what it was, but it was like it had thrown her out of her own body.
“I miss you too. But I can’t stay, baby.” At his words, Sara tightened her grip around him, her sobs echoing around the room and feeling his hand patting gently on her back, as if trying to soothe her. “I’m so proud of you, Sara-ssi.” Bin paused, gently pulling away from her embrace so he could wipe off her tears with his thumb, then cup her face. “I’m so sorry for leaving. You have no idea of how much I wanted this... to be in Astoria with you, with our baby, with my family... I can’t thank you enough for being here. For giving them something to hold onto and for holding onto them too.” His words, in a way, stung her and before Sara could avoid it, the tears rolled again down her cheeks.
“Don’t go.” She pleaded, shaking her head as she tried to hold onto him. "I can’t do this without you. Please... please, Bin.”
“You don’t have to do it alone.” There was serenity in his smile and Sara, for the life of her, couldn’t understand how he could be smiling when she was sitting there, falling apart because she’d missed him so much. “Come on. Let’s make Binnie’s formula. I want to enjoy my time with you before I stop to see my family. Can we do that? Can we have a day to ourselves?”
With that, Moonbin stood up from the floor and offered his hand to Sara once again. After some minor hesitation, she took his hand and then moved to Bin’s crib to pick him up and take him to the kitchen to make his food. Despite still not believing that Moonbin was there, Sara also knew that what he’d said was true: he couldn’t stay. So, since they didn’t have much time, she figured it would be the best to enjoy while it lasted. Now that the initial shock was over, she could actually try and do just that.
Moonbin had questions about things that he already knew the answers to, but he loved how passionate Sara was when talking about things she loved. He asked about the webcomic, about the friends she had made here, about her plans for the future and it made him feel at peace to know that she was, indeed, trying to live one day at a time. Grief was all part of the process of letting him go, but--but it hurt him whenever she cried over him. If he could, he would’ve traded her tears for anything in the world... even if it meant having never met her. But if he hadn’t met her, half of the people Sara mentioned having met here in Astoria would also not have had the pleasure of meeting her--and he wouldn’t deprive them of that. He wouldn’t deprive anyone of that, because he knew how bright and special his wife was.
From sunlight to sundown, Moonbin stayed. It was more than she could have asked for. She didn’t know just how much it would influence Binnie or of he would even remember, but Sara was happy that her husband was able to meet the child they had wanted for so long. Sara told Moonbin about her fears and how she felt when it came to being a mother and she was surprised what Moonbin didn’t say much back at first. She feared she had upset him, but later on that day when he brought the subject again as they tucked Binnie in and said goodnight to the baby, Sara was actually surprised with the response she got from her husband.
“You know... I said it before, but I’m proud of you. Despite everything, despite how you feel about motherhood, you’re still trying. In the end, Sara, that is what’s going to matter.” Bin gently caressed her hair, before pressing a kiss on her forehead. “And you shouldn’t feel inadequate. You’re doing the best that you can with whatever life threw at you. He’s happy, he’s healthy... he has lots of uncles and aunts that care for him...” With that, he caressed her cheek again, prompting Sara to lean onto his cool touch.
She knew it was useless to do so, but the petite brunette really felt like asking him to stay again, but, when Bin’s voice was heard again, it almost felt like he had read her mind. “You should let me go, Sara.” He was sporting that same serene smile from early that morning. “I came to say goodbye, you know? They said... they said if I said goodbye, I’d be able to move on, too. They said I’d be able to be reborn... so this is the last time you’ll see me.” Well, it was easier said than done. There was so much she still needed to figure out, before allowing someone occupy the same place Bin had held in her heart... “It’s time, Sara. It’s time to let me go and find your own happiness. Remember I said you didn’t have to do it alone? That’s because you don’t have to. You have friends, family, people who love you with all their hearts... and it’s okay to move on.”
Sara found herself wiping off tears once again as Moonbin went on. She wasn’t as desperate as before. She was just... sad. Goodbyes were always sad. “It’s okay to open your heart to someone else. What we had was beautiful. It was everything to the both of us... I know that. I’ll never doubt you loved me, but I’m not here anymore. The pain is just--pain. If you can, be your optimistic self. Look for spring. Try new things, live, laugh, love. Find someone to fill your heart with happiness again.” He cupped her face once again, thumbs wiping the tears that rolled down her cheeks. “Be happy, Sara. That’s all I ask. Be happy.” With that, Bin, placed a gentle kiss on her lips. “I love you so much. So, so much. Thank you for being my everything and thank you for being Binnie’s mom. I have to go and see my family now, but promise you’ll try and be happy?”
Sara couldn’t say anything because she was, once again, sobbing. So she just nodded as she tried to keep her nerves at bay. Right there, in front of her eyes, Moonbin dissipated, which brought her to the floor again and she allowed to cry her pain away because it was a chapter of her life that it was finally having an ending. It might not have been a happy ending, but at least, it was closure.
TASK 001: family.
when you were younger, did you look more like your mother or father? what about now? do you think your attitudes resemble anyone from your family? write about your favorite memory with a family member. what is family to you?
“not gonna lie, i’ve never met my parents, so i couldn’t tell you the answers to half these questions. as far as family goes, in the sense of the word at least, i guess it’s who you choose to be around you. who makes you feel comfortable and stuff like that. it isn’t always blood. i think that’s an important thing to realize. you can make your own family.”
