sophie, circa 2009: so then there’s parker-
tara: wait, THE parker?? shit, isn’t she crazy?
sophie: no! don’t say that, she’s so sweet! we’ve been working hard on grifting skills and she’s really improving! no more stabbing - well, knock on wood - and the other day she even offered to throw me off a building. i think we’re really making progress.
tara: are you hearing yourself
sophie: wait wait wait, just look at this photo! here she is dressed up for a grift - i picked the costume out for her - isn’t she just adorable? <3
tara: …alright. next time maybe just adopt a cat instead of, you know, the world’s greatest thief.
——
sophie, circa 2023: my stepdaughter, astrid, who i [presumably] never told you about came back into my life recently.
tara: i - okay. sure.
sophie: she’s an interpol agent working for sterling and she’s doing such a great job hunting people down. she even found out multiple aliases of mine! i’m so proud! i initially thought she’d want to toss me in prison or get revenge on me because her father sort of died of a broken heart when i left, but she’s actually very kind and just as adorable as ever! we’re getting tea next monday :)
tara:
tara: where are you finding these people. do you have some kind of magnet

















