Actually and in relation to absolutely nothing except seeing a lot of hockey sport primers, PSA from someone who worked a couple years at an ice rink: it’s not actually hard at all to walk on the ice in normal shoes. It’s only minimally tricky if the ice has JUST been flooded and resurfaced and then you shouldn’t be out there fucking it up; if it’s been skated on at all, especially with hockey, it’s literally fine. It’s not like ice on a sidewalk for whatever reason. It should be dry and very flat, and if it’s been skated on it has enough surface texture for good grip. I mean it’s hard to like sprint but not impossible, and seriously it’s fuuuuucking fine. The only reason we don’t walk on it more is to keep it from getting dirty. Okay thanks.
The end of the school year drew nearer and nearer. Nico couldn’t believe he’d managed to make it through his freshman year of college. With Annabeth’s help, he was able to bring his grades up enough to keep his scholarships, and with his friends- especially Will- he was able to manage himself a bit better.
He hadn’t even had ten visits to his therapist yet, but she had encouraged him to rely more on his friends for help. While it didn’t keep the lows from happening or messing with his mind and progress, it helped to get distracted as often as he was. His time was divided between his friend group and Will.
Every now and then, Nico let slip a flirtatious comment, but Will would only respond with a smirk and a raised eyebrow, then continue talking as though nothing had happened. After a while, he stopped, if only to make sure things remained comfortable between them. And they were. Things were good, and Will made him laugh and blush and smile and caused butterflies and hope to sprout in him.
However, it had been almost two and a half months since they began this, and Nico wasn’t sure how great their progress was. When, exactly, would he know it was okay to try again? Was Will waiting on him to ask? Or should Nico wait on Will? The confusion was frustrating, but he was also afraid to bring it up.
Nico was sitting outside the café with a cigarette between his fingers while he searched for cheap apartments nearby. If he wanted to keep going to therapy, he would have to stay in the city and get a job. He liked his therapist. He didn’t want to switch to a New Yorker over the summer. Especially since it meant he’d have to start over.
A few moments later, Will sat across from him and smiled brightly. “Guess what?” he said, bubbling with excitement.
“Uh… your favorite book is turning into a movie? You… are getting a new car? Your favorite band is touring this summer? Um-”
“Are you done?” he asked with an exasperated smile. Nico chuckled and nodded. “I was accepted to be an orientation leader this summer.”
Nico smiled and held out his fist. “Sweet. Does that mean you’re staying on campus all summer?”
“Yep. Housing is provided. I’m excited. I thought I wouldn’t get chosen, but….”
Nico furrowed his eyebrows and looked at him fondly. “You do realize you have phenomenal people skills and literally everyone on campus likes you because you’re so… happy and optimistic and stuff.”
Will rolled his eyes and glared at him. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“No, the bad thing is you don’t see it.” Will rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Hey, I was going to ask you, since your people skills are way better than mine, could you go to this thing with me? It’s an apartment complex and I want to check out the layout with their tours and stuff, but… people.”
“You are such an introvert,” Will scoffed, sliding Nico’s computer over. “Oh, I’ve seen this place. The apartments look nice on the outside. Yeah I’ll go with you.”
“Thanks. And congrats on being chosen as an OL. I knew you’d get it.” Will smiled gratefully and Nico looked away, not wanting him to see the blush that crept into his cheeks. “Does that mean you’re not going home, though?”
Will bit his lip and sighed. “Maybe for a week if I can save up. Or if they visit me. But no, I don’t think I’ll get to see them often. It’s okay though. Part of growing up, right?” Nico raised an eyebrow, but he didn’t say anything. “Besides they might come up for my birthday, so that’ll be fun.” He checked his watch and cursed under his breath. “My class is starting soon. I’ll see you later. What time is the apartment thing?”
“Later, like around three.” Will nodded and scribbled a note on his hand with a pen. “See you later,” he called as Will turned away. Nico finished his cigarette and continued looking at apartments.
Suddenly there was a weight on his shoulders and someone was ruffling his hair. “Aren’t you just the cutest thing around him?” Leo teased.
“Leo!” Nico growled, shoving him off.
Laughing, Leo came around and sat in front of him. “What? Oh come on, it’s cute. You get all flustered and stuff.” Nico glared at him and Leo raised his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. We’re all going to get pizza tonight as pre-celebration for surviving year one. Want to come? It’ll be around eight.”
Nico hummed and bit his lip. “Yeah, I could go for pizza…. Um… could I… bring someone?” Leo smiled widely, like a Cheshire cat and Nico slumped into his seat. “Stop looking at me like that, or I swear I will punch you.”
“Yes, you can bring Will,” he said, trying to make his smile smaller. Nico nodded and looked away, hoping Leo wouldn’t comment on the tinge in his cheeks. “You should know I find this very interesting. The start and end to this school year… well.”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
Leo smiled and leaned forward. “At the beginning of the year, whenever I teased you about Will, you swore you didn’t like him. You still threatened to hit me, but that’s normal.” He shrugged. “But you’d get defensive and… you were pretty stoic. Now you’re… well you’re blushing and you’re not denying it and….” He sighed and a smiled, more sincerely than teasingly. “It’s a nice change for you.”
“Thanks, I think,” he mumbled.
Around two, a knock on his door pulled Nico from the music playing in his ears. He opened the door and let Will in, feeling the familiar knot of jitters in his stomach. “What are you doing?” Will asked.
“Just laying down listening to music,” he answered. “You’re early.” Will shrugged and sat on the desk.
He looked at him curiously with intense blue eyes that seemed to pull out every dirty secret. “You okay?” he asked. Nico nodded, wondering how his eyes could have the effect they had on him. He wondered if his own boring brown eyes ever captivated Will in the same way. “You just seem pretty quiet. And you said you were just laying down.” Nico smiled and furrowed his eyebrows, not really understanding how that could indicate much about his emotional state. “You don’t have to push people away when they want to help, you know? And you don’t have to push emotions away when you want to be around people.”
“I’m not,” he protested. Will gave him an exasperated look and Nico scoffed. “No, really. I’m okay…. Sort of. I’m not pushing you away, okay? I promise. I just… I’m trying to prove to myself that I can do this too. That I can make myself feel better and not rely on friends each time. Besides, I can only burden other people so much before they get annoyed. Nobody wants to deal with all of it all of the time.”
“What’s that mean?” he asked.
Nico shrugged and scratched his head. “I’m not trying to push you away. I’m actually trying not to do that. I feel like constantly going to you when I’m upset would be what pushes you away. And I just want to know I can handle this myself. Does that… make sense?”
For a few seconds, Will didn’t say anything. He just looked at Nico. Then he sighed and shook his head. “Yes and no. I mean I get what you mean, but…. Neeks, you’d be surprised how much people don’t mind handling when they care about someone.” Nico’s lips parted slightly at the subtle reminder of the feelings Will still had for him. His freckled cheeks were tinged pink as he looked away and shrugged. “But I understand where you’re coming from and I won’t push you to vent each time. We’re- you’re working through this. And that’s the whole point, right?”
“Yeah. I’m just trying to get better.” Will smiled fondly at him and looked away, seemingly preoccupied with his thoughts. “We should go,” he said a few seconds later. He grabbed his keys and Will followed after him.
While he drove, he remembered Leo’s suggestion. “Hey, my friends are going out for pizza later. You want to tag along?”
“What time?” he asked.
“About eight.”
“Sounds fun. I’m up for it,” he answered. Nico nodded and smiled gratefully. It wasn’t like they didn’t go places together. They did. Often. Whether it was for a midnight breakfast or a movie or just to get some takeout, they had gone out before. Strictly as friends, of course. Nico didn’t flirt and Will didn’t try to hold his hand, and they kept conversations light and comfortable.
But they were always alone. This was the first time they’d be with Nico’s friends as well. It’d be the first time the two of them hung out together with other people. Other people who knew their history.
Being with Nico was comfortable for Will. It felt right. No, it wasn’t like before. He couldn’t kiss him because he wanted to, he couldn’t get too close, and he had to be careful with what he said so they wouldn’t delve into the dynamics of their previous relationship.
It sucked. But in a way, it also felt stronger. He knew Nico so well, knew his weakness and strengths, he’d seen him at his highs and lows, and now he was seeing him working to make himself better as a person. He was watching him slowly begin to open up to friends and allow himself to be more vulnerable than he had been when they first met. It just seemed stronger.
And if Nico still felt the things he felt before, Will was certain that a romantic relationship would be way stronger and he wouldn’t be so paranoid like he used to be. He was long past being angry or hurt because of the things Nico had said when they broke up. He was past feeling stupid for having been so vulnerable to him. Nico had made up for that with apologies and his determination to change and showing his own vulnerabilities.
They were both getting stronger, and frankly, each passing moment with him only made Will’s feelings grow. He was filled with so much want and love for Nico, he was starting to go crazy wondering when that perfect moment would come again.
Was Nico waiting for a certain milestone? Would that milestone be in his therapy or between them as friends? Did Nico know Will still liked him? Did Nico still like Will?
They were so used to their boundaries and limits that now Will didn’t know when it would be okay to change that. They pulled into the guest parking area and Will walked beside Nico as he went into the office. While Nico asked about the tour, Will glanced around the small lobby and wondered when he would have to deal with the responsibility of an apartment.
A very flamboyant male with one side of his head shaved and the other a bright pastel blue walked out and smiled. “Hi, I’m Kyle, I’ll be showing you around today. Are you ready for your tour?” Nico nodded and Will fell in step beside him. “So is this a two bedroom or a one bedroom that you’ll be looking at?”
“One,” Nico answered.
“Oh, so you’re a couple.” Will and Nico both stumbled in their steps and turned their heads to him, their eyes wide and their faces flushed.
“Uh, no,” Nico answered awkwardly. “No, we’re uh, we’re not living together.” Will groaned inwardly and turned away, waiting until his face cooled down enough to look back at them.
“Oh. So you’ll be living all by yourself?” Nico nodded. “How old are you?”
“Nineteen,” he answered.
“Wow, and already getting your own place?” Kyle smiled. “That’s pretty impressive.” Nico shrugged and Will got an uneasy feeling in his stomach. “So here’s our one-bedroom layout. The living area. It would come furnished, but of course pillows and the coffee table are for decoration.”
“Spacy,” Will noted. “For one person.”
“Well, we know even people who live alone like to have guests over from time to time,” Kyle said with a small smirk. “Especially someone looking like you, you must have people over every week,” he said, directing it to Nico.
Nico was glancing around at the kitchen which was separated from the living room by a mini bar. “Not really. I’m not a people person.”
Will shook his head as the comments seemed to fly over Nico’s head. But at the same time he was grateful. He opened a door and found the bedroom layout. “Neeks, look,” he called. He walked in and heard Nico’s steps behind him. “Walk-in closet,” he pointed out.
“Full length mirror too,” Nico said, glancing around at the space. Will turned and saw their tour guide eyeing Nico unabashedly. He felt upset, but he knew he had no right to. This guy had no reason not to try to hit on Nico especially if he had the notion that Nico was single… which he was. “What about the bathroom?”
“Right over here,” Kyle said, beckoning him over. Will nearly grabbed Nico’s arm to keep him from going before realizing how ridiculous that was. Of course he had to follow. He was looking the place over. “No tubs, sadly, but very spacious. If you want to relax though, you’d have to go to the pool. We have a jacuzzi too, which is always fun to go in.”
The sentence itself was harmless. But the tone he said it in made Will grimace and he walked away from the bathroom door, where Kyle was already blocking his view anyway, and returned to the living room area. He distracted himself by looking out the window at the shrubs and fences.
A few moments later, Nico came back, with Kyle close beside him. “What do you think?” he asked.
“You’re the one living here, not me.” He shrugged. “It’s your choice.”
Nico stared at him for a few seconds, biting his lip and nodded. “Hey, Kyle, could you get me the financial information for this, you know bills and stuff? Paper format helps me organize.”
“Sure thing, sugar,” he answered, leaving the apartment.
As the door closed, Nico asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Will answered, eyes wide, playing innocent.
Nico hummed and nodded, but when he looked up, he was smirking. “So… Kyle’s blatant and terrible flirting attempts aren’t what’s bothering you?”
“Oh is that what he’s doing?” Will asked playing dumb. “I thought he just had shitty people skills and no work morality.” Nico burst into laughter and Will bit his lip. “No reason it should bother me.” Nico hummed again, but kept smiling at him. That stupid perfect smile that made Will jittery and self-conscious. “So you like this place?”
Allowing the subject to drop, Nico looked around approvingly. “It’s the nicest one I’ve seen. I don’t know I guess… I’m more concerned with knowing whether or not I’ll be able to handle this. It’s such an adult thing to do…. But yeah I like it.”
“Then I say go for it. It is a really nice and really spacy place. If the rent is reasonable, you should get it.” A moment later, Kyle came back with files and paperwork. Will continued to watch as failed attempts at flirting took place, with Nico answering obliviously or looking over at him with a smile before switching the conversation.
When it came time to talk to a different worker, Nico asked Will to take over because he had to go over the paperwork with his father over the phone as well.
In the end, Nico got the apartment. His father had agreed to pay the first two months of rent, but Nico had to take that time to get a job and save up for bills and personal expenses. In addition to that, his father gave him a limit on his credit card which, though it bothered Nico, didn’t seem to affect him too much.
They walked back to the car and Will pulled him to a stop and smiled. “Dude.” Nico raised an eyebrow. “You just got an apartment. You are officially adulting!” Nico grimaced but Will kept smiling. “This is great for you, Neeks! Congratulations!”
Nico laughed and shook his head at his enthusiasm. “You are very special person, Will. Thank you.” He hugged him and Will hugged him back, elated with pride at Nico’s progress. He heard his chuckle in his ear and when he pulled away, found their faces closer than they had been in a long time. “Uh,” Nico stammered, turning away, blushing, and chuckling. “Thank you for the support.” Will smiled and bit his lip.
A couple of hours later, after killing time by taking a walk in a nearby park, they met up with Nico’s friends to get pizza. The expressions on their faces told Nico that Leo hadn’t mentioned Will joining them.
Jason looked confused, but did his best to hide it. Piper and Annabeth were whispering to each other somewhat discreetly. Percy shot Leo a look and then tried to look encouraging. Nico could almost feel Will tense up beside him.
“Hey,” Nico greeted as he went to the table. His friends greeted him then Will and gestured for them to sit. “Have you guys ordered yet?”
“Yeah, small cheese for Pipes, one meatlovers, and a regular pepperoni,” Leo answered, being the only one unfazed by Will’s presence.
The others seemed to be looking at them expectantly, waiting, anxious. It made Nico want to hide. He felt his face begin to warm and his heart began to pound. Then suddenly, Will began to talk.
“You know, I can’t believe freshman year is over. Summer is so close.”
“I don’t know if mine will really count as a summer, I’m an orientation leader,” Leo said.
“Really? Me too,” Will answered. Leo’s eyes lit up, and the conversation began picking up from there.
Leo and Will talked about the expectations over summer and orientation, while the others chimed in on what summer held for them. Slowly, the tension in Nico’s muscles melted away and he was able to relax again.
“What about you, Nico?” Percy asked. “What are you doing this summer?”
He shrugged and bit his pizza. “I’m not sure yet. I’m not going back home, but I got an apartment today.”
“And he got hit on,” Will added with a smirk. Nico kicked him under the table. “Ah! What? It’s true.”
“Irrelevant,” he shot back.
“You could’ve asked for a special discount, you know? I bet he’d have given it to you.”
“You’re being really snarky about this which is strange considering the fact that the guy was annoying you the whole time.”
“That is besides the point,” he answered with blushing cheeks.
Meanwhile, his friends were watching their interaction closely. The way they seemed to pull towards each other. The way their eyes focused on each other and their smiles seemed different from their usual ones. The emotions underlying their voices, their smiles, were so obvious, they didn’t understand how they still weren’t dating.
It was even considered that the two were already dating and it had simply slipped their minds to mention it. Otherwise, how could they possibly be restricted to being friends?
Watching them interact was mystifying and frustrating. Nico would lean against Will, laughing, and Will would absentmindedly touch Nico’s arm from time to time, and neither of them seemed to mind or even notice. It was as though they were immune to the obvious signs and it was confusing to watch them and remember that they weren’t actually dating.
It wasn’t until after the pizza was gone and Will had gone to use the bathroom that Annabeth pulled Nico’s chin to look at her and raised an eyebrow. “Are you two dating yet?”
Nico’s eyes went wide and he blushed. “N-No.”
“How can you guys do that? How can you both know what you feel for each other and just be friends?” she asked.
“How long until you guys start dating again? I’ve been tempted several times already to just shove your faces together,” Leo muttered.
Nico’s face turned redder and he cleared his throat. “I messed up really bad. And now I’m trying to fix it. There’s things I have to do for myself before… I can try again. We’ve talked about it before. I’m working on it. We both are.”
“I really hope that time comes soon, for both of your sakes. It seems like it takes everything in you both to keep from telling each other you’re in love,” Piper said. “Oh he’s coming back.”
“What’d I miss?” he asked as he sat down.
“Just Leo rambling about Civil War again,” Annabeth answered, saving Nico the embarrassment. As Leo immediately pounced on the subject, Nico gave her a grateful glance and turned his attention to the argument Leo was making about the movie.
He was suddenly hyperaware of every touch and every glance between him and Will. And he wished with all his heart that the day he could kiss him again would come soon. Though he had no idea how he was supposed to know when it was enough time again….
woke up from nightmares of being lost in a city i know i know like the back of my hand, which shifted and changed as i tried to find comfort, the roads strewn with scattered newspapers on biting dusty frozen winds and busses that wouldn't respect the right of way; my silent benefactors turn out to be not-benefactors, and all faces and names and personhood are reduced to a blurry fog of not remembering even the basic differences between people (the labyrinth is internal), and i give a stolen white envelope filled with someone else's worthless stolen goods as payment to escape, and worst of all, my cell phone has no service
