#atari jaguar

[oldgamemags]

More Violent Than Earth 'DOOM' Atari Jaguar

[jaundice-collector]

So no one was gonna tell me that Alan Alda was in

FUCKING ATARI COMMERCIALS???

I have acquired the entire(?) set of 15 thanks to the Internet archive but I'm limited to one video per post so I'll just post a few I find the most interesting/funny and y'all can get the rest for yourself

[thevideogameartarchive]

Chupa Chups! 'Zool 2' Atari Jaguar

[mendelpalace]

A rambling 6-page review of Cybermorph for Atari Jaguar, from the December 1993 issue of DieHard GameFan Magazine.

Allegedly the review was written under the influence of LSD, as someone had spiked the office coffee pot. In the review, Dave Halverson refers to Cybermorph as the "first real game" and argues it will change the game industry.

[artistic-husky]

Some cool Mr dark art i made!

[I LOVE THE ORGINAL RAYMAN!]

[wisconsincomputerclub]

The Green Bay show today was fantastic!

[trauma-pro]

Club Drive is the worst kind of bad, one that feels deeply personal... at least for me. Probably not for you, for you this is a lot more likely to be just your regular everyday brand of bad. Anyway.

Right off the bat, the races have no CPU. It's either split screen with someone else or you going from point A to point B all by yourself. No CPU. The high-scores are hilariously bad too so it's not even like you can work towards reaching an arbitrary goal to compensate for the lack of real opponents, attempting to outdo your personal bests until you get bored is all you have. On top of the high-scores you're also given personal rankings at the end of each race, sometimes i'm ranked Cabbie, sometimes Insurance Risk, sometimes Good Hand. What in the world is any of that supposed to mean? Is a Cabbie better than a Good Hand? When i get told i'm a Rookie i assume it means i didn't do well... but did i do worse than an Insurance Risk? Is being an Insurance Risk good or bad? Someone please answer my appeals to sanity and decor.

But regular races aren't the only thing you do in this game. Alongside the pitiful 4 available tracks there exists a variant for each of them made to host a collectathon mode, where you have to pick up the selected amount of power cells before your opponent does. Not much thought went into designing both tracks and spawn points, but there is an actual CPU opponent in here. It's so bad that it might as well not exist, and the only real difficulty spike it might offer is when you accidentally bump into him while trying to figure out the terrible camera. In a better game something like this could have been a fun diversion, Jak X has something that plays similar if i remember correctly. Rankings are here too and they're just as confusing. A Tag mode is here too but this one is multiplayer only. Assuming it is exactly what it sounds like and they didn't find a way to ruin it, and also assuming that you have a friend desperate enough to play Club Drive with you, AND also assuming that rankings are given out, this might be the best mode available, and i can't play it.

The manual implies that this game takes place a century in the future in a big dedicated racing theme park and cars used to be illegal because they're too dangerous, but not anymore because some scientist figured out the perfect algorithm for... something. It's not made clear. I mean. I've certainly never heard that one before. Nothing is said about whether someone ranked Hog Wild is better than someone who scored Wheelin' n Dealin', which i find to be an unacceptable oversight.

I'll give Club Drive some sorely needed praise for actually having a passable frame-rate and a solid drawing distance compared to any 3D game i've played for Atari consoles so far, but that's only because the graphics lack any actual texture and the geometry looks like the work of someone who tinkered with a pirated version of Sketchup for a couple hours and thought he could call himself a modeler.

So then, what the heck was i implying at the beginning of the review when i said that this game's shortcomings hurt on a personal level? You see, i'm a hobbyst game developer, and the first program i've ever properly learned is called 3DRad. Not the most popular software by any means, it's very old, very jank, adopted by people who either ore too lazy to code or represent a rare strand of european autism, with no inbetween, and its main purpose was to create... racing games. The simplistic 3D graphics, the wonky physics, the bizarre attempt at subverting a whole genre just because sticking to its fundamentals is too complicated, the nonsensical tacked on lore, the cheap repetitive music. Everything hits a bit too close home LMFAO.

[the2dvgstages]

"Pleasure Domes" - Total Carnage