Thank you so much for everyone who took part in this. I tried to get them all to fit. It may not be the most serious song but the video sure turned out even more dramatic than I had anticipated...
Cast:
Gabriel Sapieha - Colin Firth
Lysander Mercury - Leonardo DiCaprio
Frederick Lavigne - Jared Padalecki
@slytherindisaster
- - - - -
Oliver Gerard - Darren Criss
@kc-and-co
- - - - -
William Devlin - Luke Thompson
Grant Kennedy - Jonathan Bailey
Maxwell “Max” Pembroke - Leo Suter
Simon Battersea - William Moseley
Cillian Lynch - Hugh Grant
Tadhg Lynch - Rob Lowe
@unfortunate-arrow
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Jesse Seymour -Toby Regbo
Ernest di Napoli - Aneurin Barnard
Marcellus Thorne - James Norton
Phineas Falcon - Tom Hardy
Adonis Demiurgos - Henry Cavill
Noah Taylor - Freddy Carter
Damian Maccarrick - Callum Turner
@camillejeaneshphm
- - - - -
Lewis Gallach - Johnny Depp
Kenneth Jones - Ezra miller
@nightmaresart
- - - - -
Galen Stagg - Ethan Hawke
Eli Cairncross - Daniel Day-Lewis
Rex Brokenshire - Jeremy Irons
Teddy Ellison - Robert Sean Leonard
Atticus Grimsley - Ben Whishaw
@cursebreakerfarrier
- - - - -
Atticus doharty - Richard Armitage
@hphmmatthewluther
- - - - -
Henry of Alderly - Harrison Osterfield
Anthony Hawthorne - Thomas Doherty
Theo Goldcrest - Specner Macpherson
Olyvar Yaxley - Diego Luna
Either Batticus or Jackmon for the ship ask?! I can’t choose 🥰😂
Choose? As if I'd make you -- let's do both!! 🥰 Starting with Jackmon...
who made the first move: Technically Jackson. Jacko admittedly is a total charmer all the time, and even though he was too scarred by his father John Eglinton's toxic masculinity to be open with his sexuality, he most assuredly acted more than a touch flirtatiously around Monty, even if just subconsciously.
who kissed who first: Monty kissed Jackson first. Jackson had a LOT of trouble admitting to both himself and Monty how deeply he'd fallen in love with him due to his own hang-ups, but it finally got to the point that Monty could tell Jackson's denials were all just bluster, so he jumped the divide between them. As soon as he did, Jackson immediately melted and kissed Monty back.
who started the relationship: Both, once Monty finally got Jackson to face just how real their feelings were and made it clear that he was sticking right by Jackson, no matter what.
who remembers things: Monty. Jacko is ADHD as all get-out, so he's very prone to forgetting things.
nicknames for each other: Funnily enough, Monty is the one person Jackson doesn't use nicknames with -- he loves Monty so much that he won't part with a single syllable of his wonderful name, so he exclusively calls him "Montelimar." Monty will sometimes use Jackson's common nicknames like "Jackie" or "Jacko," but also tends to stick close to using Jackson's name. He will occasionally use modest terms of endearment like "love" or "chere" though.
who is more likely to pay for dinner: Oh, gosh, Jacko. Jacko is big on spoiling Monty financially, so he's the one with the deep pockets.
who normally cooks: Monty, though Jackson loves helping!
who remembers anniversaries: Both, fortunately, but Jackson goes ALL out. Expect breakfast in bed, presents, and flowers every anniversary, Monty dear.
what would they get each other for gifts: Jackson loves giving Monty new clothes, tickets to theatrical productions, books, and especially flowers. Monty also likes giving Jackson books (especially books of poetry), but also gardening equipment and new seeds or saplings that Jackson can plan in their garden, as well as writing supplies for his Ministry work and so that Jackson can write more poems of his own.
most trivial thing they fight over: The arrangement of the furniture. Monty is the sort to like to have the armchairs close to windows and lamps, so as to have plenty of light in the room for reading, and although Jackson loves reading as well, he's very finicky about a room looking aesthetically pleasing and not too crowded.
how often do they fight: Almost never. Jackson doesn't like being angry or sad, and he especially hates knowing he's upset Monty, so even if he's a total diva with very dramatic emotions, he'll often completely decease and desist the moment Monty puts his foot down.
who uses all the hot water: Oh come on, we all know it's Jackson.
who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: Fortunately Monty and Jackson would be well enough off that they wouldn't need to live in a flat...but if something's wrong in the house, I could see Monty being the one to remember to deal with it, unless it's something that bothers Jackson so much that he feels the need to dramatically make a big issue of it.
who leaves their stuff around: Jackson. He's more artistic in how he strews things about than sloppy, but he's enough of a diva that he would not be above dramatically sweeping off his coat or cape and tossing it across the chair after a long day of work.
who remembers to buy the milk: Monty's the responsible one, and he has the good memory, so yes, he'd fill this role in their relationship.
who controls the netflix queue: In a modern, less magical AU, this role would definitely be Jackson. He's very opinionated about the arts, so he'd dictate most of the entertainment he and Monty enjoyed together. Fortunately his tastes match up with Monty's rather well and he has good taste, so Monty doesn't mind one bit.
who steals the covers at night: Jackson, I guess -- though I see him being more of a snuggler with Monty than the blankets.
who cusses more: LOL, it's rare when either of them swear -- Monty because he's such an intellectual and Jackson because of his need to uphold his gentlemanly image.
who does most of the cleaning: Both! Magic makes it quite easy, and Jacko loves cleaning the house with Monty on the weekends.
what’s their favorite non-sexual activity: Reading books together! Jackson will often sit in Monty's lap while they take turns reading poetry together. 💚
who’s the cuddler: LMAO, definitely Jackson. He's secretly incredibly needy as a lover, and when these two are in private, Jackson is incredibly physically affectionate with Monty.
who’s the big spoon/little spoon: Monty is the big spoon -- Jackson is the little spoon.
who’s more dominant: Monty, actually! For however much of a loud, proud diva Jackson is in public, he takes on an incredibly submissive role in the bedroom.
who is the dirty talker: Mmm, technically Jackson? Though it's very muted and softcore. His "bedroom talk" is more on the vocal, submissive side than anything.
what do they do when they’re away from each other: Work, quite honestly. Though if Jackson's away from the UK on a business trip, he'll often daydream about being back at home with Monty.
what would they do if the other one was hurt: Monty is incredibly protective of Jackson -- if anyone were to hurt him, he'd pretty much immediately go into "knight-in-shining-armor" mode to protect him. If anyone hurt Monty, Jackson would immediately rush to Heal Monty's injuries himself, and probably also plot cold, silent revenge against whoever dared hurt his beloved Montelimar.
a headcanon: Jackson and Montelimar's wedding was held at a pavilion in England not far from Jackson's grandfather's estate, but their honeymoon was in Normandy, France.
And Batticus is under the cut!
Ship Ask!
who made the first move: These two's relationship is more on the queerplatonic side in their canon...but even in the Reincarnation AU, where they could be more explicitly romantic, the first move was always Bat's, though he wouldn't have seen it as such. Being demisexual and demiromantic, Bat fell in love by becoming Grim's friend first, and it was through that close friendship that Bat became more extroverted and intimate with his emotions.
who kissed who first: It would have to be Grim, impulsively -- with Bat being demi, kissing isn't something second-nature to him, and if he were a vampire, he'd be a little intimidated of getting too physically close to Grim.
who started the relationship: Both, once they talked the whole thing out. These two are both very cerebral Ravenclaws, so they'd want to not just hash out their feelings, but figure out what they wanted in a relationship and how things would work between them before committing to anything.
who remembers things: Grim. Bat's memory isn't bad, far from it, but he tends to live in the moment, and especially while he's a vampire, time becomes much more nebulous and vague to him.
nicknames for each other: "Bat" and "Grim," respectively. It's exclusively what they call each other in all canons, whether their relationship is friendly, queerplatonic. or explicitly romantic.
who is more likely to pay for dinner: They'd split the bill. Bat is poor in all canons, sad to say, but he would stubbornly and proudly try to pay for himself or just do without, rather than have Grim pay for him.
who normally cooks: Bat. He likes being of service to Grim, so when he comes over to Grim's place in their canon, he'll brew Grim tea and cook him dinner sometimes, if he's not feeling well.
who remembers anniversaries: Grim. Bat honestly doesn't put much weight on such things or even on other recurrent things like birthdays, especially when he's a vampire.
what would they get each other for gifts: Books! Oh god, these two both love giving each other books. Though Bat did also once save up to buy Grim a model train set one Christmas.
most trivial thing they fight over: Money. Bat is a proud, stubborn little bugger who can't stand it when Grim tries to pay for anything for him, even when he can't afford it.
how often do they fight: Not that often -- Bat's pretty chill by and large, so it's not easy to get him agitated. Though Grim does often express disapproval when Bat shares knowledge with their students that's not particularly "appropriate" for their age range, such as Inferi for anyone younger than the OWL level.
who uses all the hot water: Neither of them, really. I don't see either of them being the type to take long showers or baths.
who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: Either one, depending on who noticed it first.
who leaves their stuff around: Both. With Bat, he's likely to leave unfinished woodworking projects around -- with Grim, he's likely to leave half-graded homework assignments and paperwork around.
who remembers to buy the milk: Bat, probably on the fly, while walking past the grocers.
who controls the netflix queue: LOL, in the event that these two watched TV together, I could see them mutually surfing channels and stopping on whatever looked interesting. Documentaries, especially -- the Discovery Channel would get a lot of play, in Batticus's flat.
who steals the covers at night: Neither. Grim is an insomniac, so he never sleeps well. When he's human, Bat isn't the type to get cold while he's sleeping, and when he's a vampire, he doesn't sleep at all.
who cusses more: Surprisingly, Grim! Grim can swear a lot when he's frustrated or surprised.
who does most of the cleaning: Bat -- he loves staying busy and active, and his Quidditch-star-and-veteran-worthy strength actually does make it really easy to move furniture around to do really nice, deep cleans.
what’s their favorite non-sexual activity: Going on outings! Especially during Christmas time. Bat loves window shopping in Hogsmeade with Grim.
who’s the cuddler: Neither, really. Grim was raised in a very "proper" Victorian home, so he isn't very practiced expressing physical affection, and Bat as stated earlier is demisexual and demiromantic, so cuddling isn't something his brain and body tend to lean toward. I could see them really enjoying sleeping in the same bed in the Reincarnation AU, though -- even if they didn't end up cuddling, Grim would really like Bat leaning his head on his shoulder as he slept, and would probably be unable to stop himself from brushing some of his hair out of his face.
who’s the big spoon/little spoon: Bat as the big spoon and Grim as the little spoon, most of the time, but only because of their height difference. And yeah, this could only be in a universe where Bat wasn't a vampire who would go mad with blood lust, being so physically close to Grim.
who’s more dominant: Bat and Grim are interesting because they're really much more like equal partners, rather than one of them being dominant and the other submissive. I could see outsiders assuming Bat was the more dominant of the two, given that he's taller and stronger than Grim, but Bat is so laid-back so much of the time that Grim calls the shots in their dynamic plenty.
who is the dirty talker: Neither. Grim is too much of a gentleman and Bat is too demi in all ways for either of them to be big into dirty verbal foreplay.
what do they do when they’re away from each other: Do their own thing, quite honestly. In all universes, Bat and Grim love spending time together and they cherish each other deeply, but truly, they're able to function very well on their own as well.
what would they do if the other one was hurt: If Grim was hurt, Bat would go into soldier mode trying to protect him and take down the threat to his safety. Once the threat was negated, Bat would then rush to try to help Grim however he could, whether by Healing him himself or getting him help from someone else. If Bat was hurt...honestly, Grim would ultimately probably do the same thing! Negate the threat to Bat's safety and then do whatever he had to Heal Bat's injuries. I could just see Bat being a bit more physical in his attacks than Grim -- Atticus is an excellent magical duelist, so he'd be using his wand primarily, while Bat I could see throwing a punch, using a weapon, or tackling somebody if he had to.
a headcanon: There were quite a few students at Hogwarts who thought Professor Grimsley and Hogsmeade's vampire scholar Bartholomew Varney had "something going on." Most supposed Bat had used his "vampire glamor" to make Grim hopelessly attracted to him -- an assumption that Grim would always dryly put down if he overheard it, reminding the students in question that vampires were not veela and scolding them for believing such baseless superstitions.
OCs mentioned: Victoria Summer @whatwouldvalerydo, Lottie Gallagher @slytherindisaster, Oliver Gerard @kc-and-co
January 1896
“Here’s a skull now,” said Selene, holding a skull aloft. “This skull hath lain in the earth three and twenty years.”
Ethel closed the textbook that lay open on the desk in front of her, and tilted her head at her friend.
“Who’s was it?” she asked.
“A whoreson mad fellow’s it was, who do you think it was?”
“Nay, I know not.”
“A pestilence on him for a mad rogue!” Selene slammed her fist into the table. “A poured a flagon of Rhenish on my head once. This same skull-”
“Miss Fraser and Miss Hexley!” Professor Grimsley called out across the classroom, his voice more weary than angry. “I do hope that you are assessing the skulls for signs of curse damage as you are supposed to.”
“Of course, Sir,” the girls echoed.
“Good. These skulls are not toys to be played with.”
Grimsley nodded, and bent down to help Victoria and Lottie examine their skull. With the Defence Against the Dark Arts instructor’s attention elsewhere, the girls returned to their private performance.
“This same skull, sir,” continued Selene, sotto voice, “was Yorick's skull, the king's jester.”
“This?”
“E’en that.”
“Let me see,” Ethel said. She took the skull from Selene, regarded it closely, then clasped one hand to her mouth. She drew the hand from her mouth to her hair, anguished, and exclaimed: “Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio! A fellow of infinite-”
“Miss Hexley!” Professor Grimsley interrupted Ethel mid-soliloquy. “How many times do I need to tell you? You can recite Elizabethan literature outside of lesson time.”
“But, sir-”
“This is a classroom, Miss Hexley. It is not a stage.”
“That’s simply not true, Professor,” Selene told him, matter-of-factly. “I think you’ll find that all the world is a stage.”
“Yes, and we are merely players.”
“That’s it,” Professor Grimsley held up one hand. “The two of you shall not be permitted to sit together from now on.”
“No!”
“You cannot mean to part us!”
“I do mean to part you.”
“You mustn’t!”
“Miss Fraser, please exchange seats with” - Grimsley paused as he looked around the room, ignoring the girls’ protests - “Mr Ironwood.”
Reluctantly, Selene and Cledwyn exchanged seats. Ethel’s indignant frown split into a wide grin as she turned to her new work partner.
“Ah, just the person,” she said. “Now, I was thinking that you and I might-”
“No.”
“Cled, you haven’t even heard my suggestion.”
“I don’t need to,” Cledwyn replied, his eyes firmly forward. “The answer is no.”
“You know, you should not be so negative. I simply wish to discuss Quidditch strategy.”
“Oliver is the captain. Discuss the matter with him.”
“Ah, but Oliver is not here, and Oliver is not as dear of a friend to me as-”
“We are not friends.”
“-you. Yes we are,” Ethel corrected Cledwyn. “So, I am thinking that perhaps we should try a new tactic. Think laterally, you see?”
“I don’t see,” Cledwyn shook his head, still avoiding meeting Ethel’s eye.
“Well, look at it this way,” she said, picking up the skull formerly known as Yorick, and juggling it between her hands as she spoke. “Ivy - you know my cousin Ivy, surely - she told me about this great technique that we might use in the next game against Slytherin. You see, the Ballycastle Bats used it in their Boxing Day match. Rather than keeping hold of the Quaffle, we throw it to one another quickly, really quickly. Like a burning hot potato.”
“What?”
“Well, think about it. We pass it between ourselves so fast that the Slytherins can’t tell who is holding it at any one time.”
“That won’t work,” Cledwyn muttered.
“It will, see. Catch!”
Cledwyn’s stubborn refusal to so much as look at his friend - for that is what Ethel was to him, of course - meant that he was unprepared to catch the skull as she threw it at him. He fumbled, and the skull fell to the floor, and rolled to a stop at Professor Grimsley’s feet.
“Move to the seat by the window,” he said, a strain in his voice as he stared at Ethel. He pointed to a desk in the back corner of the room, one far away from any of the other students. “If you cannot work sensibly with a partner, you will work alone.”
Scowling, Ethel picked up her possessions and moved to her new seat, where she leant with her chin on her arms, crossed on the table in front of her. Working alone was so incredibly dull.
After a few minutes of sulking, Ethel quickly wrote the bare minimum needed to complete the exercise, before turning her attention to the window next to her desk. Outside, the courtyard below the window was still covered in a thick layer of snow. Ethel grinned to herself as she weighed up her and Selene’s options for lunchtime. Should they make snow angels, or throw snowballs at Jim? She would let Selene decide.
A shadow appeared on the snowy ground, and Ethel turned her face upwards to look at the pale blue sky above. Her jaw dropped.
“LOOK!” she shouted.
“Now, Miss Hexley-”
“No, Professor Grimsley, look!” she repeated standing up now and pressing her face and the tip of her forefinger to the window. “It’s a carriage! A flying carriage!”
The sound of chairs scraping the floor and footsteps echoed across the classroom, as every single one of Ethel’s peers got out of their seats and ran to the window.
For once, Ethel was not exaggerating. Passing through the sky above the castle was a carriage, pulled by no less than four winged horses.
“It’s going to land! It’s coming here!”
Barely a minute after the observation had been made, the carriage did just that. The four horses landed in the courtyard outside, and trotted to a stop, their dappled grey bodies blending perfectly with the snow that reached to the level of their fetlocks. Their manes were jet black and impossibly shiny, as was the carriage that they pulled.
“They’re beautiful horses,” Victoria remarked. “The carriage is very nice, too. Who do you owns it?”
“The Minister for Magic, perhaps?”
“Or someone who wishes to donate money to the school.”
“Might it be a new headmaster?”
“Look, someone is getting out!”
A house elf - much tidier-looking than the ones that sometimes were seen around the castle - climbed out of the driver’s seat of the carriage and opened the door of the carriage. The house elf raised his bare hand, and a gloved one reached out of the carriage to take it.
Out of the carriage stepped an elderly witch in robes of the deepest and darkest purple, her grey hair pulled neatly into a chignon bun underneath her matching hat. She was not tall, and she walked with a dark-coloured wooden stick, but she still exuded a sort of presence and native dignity. Ethel was impressed.
As the witch started to make her way across the snow-covered courtyard, the house elf raised his hand once more. This time, the hand that took it was smaller, and so was the second figure that emerged from the carriage.
“Who is she?”
She was a girl around Ethel’s age, though she was far smaller in stature, and more daintily built. She wore a smart winter cloak of pale pinkish-lilac, and her hair was almost as dark as the manes of the winged horses. Unlike the older woman, who had walked towards the entrance to the castle with so little hesitation that she looked as if she had done so a thousand times before, the girl stood stock still in the snow, looking around at her surroundings. She was too far away for her facial expression to be completely readable, but if anything, Ethel thought that she looked apprehensive.
The older witch called out over her shoulder, and the girl hurried to follow her. She turned back as they reached the entrance and looked out at the snow one final time, before both of the newcomers disappeared from view entirely.
Ethel met Selene’s eye across the classroom. Forget snow angels and snowballs. They had an investigation to undertake.