𓂃 𓈒𓏸 envy iii
pairing: academic rivals!bucky x reader
prompt: “I would burn down this entire world just to feel, for a single second, what it’s like to be preferred.”
warnings: emotionally repressed!bucky, manipulative!bucky, bug and insect metaphors (i like my entomology), hair stroking . . .
word count: 766
a/n: this was for another character but i changed it last minute because im a pussy lol, it's obvious but ehh its fine lol <3
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"You're different."
You hum ambivalently at Bucky's inquiry, unwavering in your performance, eyes locked and unblinking to the shadows of flames that dance across the floor.
"You're different," he repeats. "Has something happened?"
The room stays still as you trail backwards into your mind. Are you different? Ever since he first touched you with a peculiar gentleness, one that you half expected from his stoic language and wide breadth, yet it lingered on the softest environments of your skin and inked down your body in the forthcoming days in rivulets. The kind that smears clumsily, a permanent stick to the study that was your body, once tried to wipe away.
"No," Another pause. Pregnant with something unknown to you, but you're so sure Bucky already has the answer. "Nothing's happened."
But that's the thing. Nothing has happened and its crawling inside of you like maggots. Larvae rampant in your stomach like tendrils of rot, and it's eating you alive.
"Nothing's happened." He repeats, the fingers that massage within your hair still, apart from his thumb that trails a heavenly rhythm on your hairline. It's tender, sickeningly soft and domesticated. Something you wish could last forever, print with parchment and ink, kept sealed within and handled with care.
It wisps like his scent of cigarette smoke and a lingering of cardamom, a haunting mixture, impenetrable like he, one you've realised will haunt you in years to come, only now the realisation sealed itself with wax.
Its petulant. How you think about the orbit of things. How it all circles around and back to the man whose fingers still stay buried at your scalp, and lets you rest your tired head against his thighs, who only shows the affection he can behind closed doors and brick walls.
"You're thoughts are too loud," he speaks lowly, the ghost of a smile on his lips, his attention still focused on the book in his hand. "I've been following the same sentence every over and over again, it's quite distracting."
You expel a harsh breath, something humorous.
"I apologise."
Bucky sighs deeply, one that puffs his chest and caves inward with you in it. "If it's about the comment I made earlier today—"
"It's not."
He doesn't speak, doesn't think he needs to, so he drags the silence on in question, a request for you to continue.
Crackles from the hearth continue, as does his thumb, his breathing, the world spins, and your dry mouth opens with a slight pop of leftover spit on your tongue.
“I'm just tired of trying to keep up. I feel as though I have to keep proving myself over and over again, and you can… You just do whatever and people bend over backwards without a word." You say quietly, it pauses at edges, wobbling with a cower you didn't realise was fully there until set free like an animal seconds away from becoming roadkill.
"I know." he states with a similar crack at the voice, only it feels fictitious, copy over a copy, over a copy, but yet you don't move. He whispers something, a curse faded into breath. He feels a soft spark of joy, a greed that should be kept in cavernous fourths, underground and cold. Avarice for more. A sweet desire that stuck to his skin like melted candy.
The intention of his keeping of you was never a secret. An ego boost perhaps, some kind of pawn, a loyal devotee with their knees forever raw red from floorboards and hands scarred with crescents of nails, waning and waxing, tiny universes of night skies with moles and freckles impersonating stars.
Bucky could kiss every single one. He could. And yet his fingers and palms stay between pages of yellowed paper, his lips full of passages and quotations, memorised and translated.
In a way you are unsure what you're referring to exactly. The group, the work, the occupation of his mind wholly and completely. Perhaps all. Perhaps in a way you're jealous about yourself and how you yearn for every minuscule moment his eyes catch yours when you sit a chair or two away while your professor cantillates and your eyes follow the angles of the man you bend towards as if a flower to the sun.
Your knees ache instantly. Familiar tingles of rawness catching you in the moment, grounding in a way. It hurts your teeth from the edges of your gums to the root of bone where the rots already settling.
But you cant help tonguing at the darkness that corrodes. As a matter of fact, you like it.
summary: it's been a year since you've been shattered by the violence of an ex-lover’s hand, living with scars and ghosts no one else can see. potions and balms cannot cure what's festering inside, yet somehow, you find yourself stumbling to bucky’s apothecary in the dead of night desperate for anything to dull the ache that lives within. perhaps the remedy exists, and it can only be applied with the help of his scorching touch
word count: 4.3k
warnings/themes: domestic abuse, angst, feelings of depression, masturbation, making out, comfort (happy ending, like i always promise ♡)
𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
the town's bell cried in the distance signalling that midnight had arrived as deep silence fell over the sleeping town. the streets were dark, nothing but the full moon and freshly lit lanterns illuminating the cobbled street
you stood in front of the apothecary with a lost, haunted look in your eyes, flickering flames from the lanterns casting dancing light over your side profile. you looked at your reflection on the aged glass window on the door, startling yourself when you barely recognised your own features
the person staring back was a stranger, moulded and contorted by sleepless nights, night terrors and anxiousness
you can't even remember the journey here, your feet impulsively carrying you to the small apothecary at the edge of the town, half swallowed by the autumn mist, hidden among ochre and crimson autumn trees
perhaps you've finally lost your mind? were you sleepwalking? which forces led you here, unaware and adrift? unanswered questions piled up one by one, but the wind was too sharp and the cobblestone beneath your feet too real and grounding for this to be a dream
you stood in front of the apothecary, its stone walls covered in moss and rusty ivy, towering over you. your trembling hand gripped the door handle, but it showed no indication of opening the door and crossing the threshold
what will you even ask for once you're inside? a pill to dull the pain? a potion to make you forget? something to make the torturous voice inside your head less antagonizing? or will you finally get the courage to opt out for something less….conventional?
it has been in the barnes family for generations, offering different potions, medications, concoctions, teas, spices, roots and other unspecified things left to townsfolk's imagination
you've heard rumors of them offering solutions for problems only spellcasting can solve. as it were, you weren't really a big believer in enchantments. certainly not at first, at least
spellcasting was a myth. something the townsfolk spoke about around the fire in hushed voices in dimly lit taverns, something that was buried in the past, traces of it long gone as scrolls decayed and spoken word got lost over time
it all sounded too good to be true, in your opinion. fairytales were for daydreamers. the world was cruel and life was hard, days too long and tiring to even entertain the idea that there might be spells out there that would make everything just a little bit easier
but every opinion and belief no matter how tightly woven can be challenged in face of despair and heartache
the type of heartache that gnaws at your flesh, carves your bones with runes and incantations that whisper of curses and suffering, the type that leaves you desperate enough to believe in anything that promises salvation, no matter how improbable
sudden flashbacks flooding your mind, unwelcome and brutal
a man you were deeply in love with losing his gentle façade to show his true face, a man who coaxed you and manipulated you until it was too late to escape his grip
your ex-lover's heavy fist colliding with your cheekbone, knuckles unforgiving on your delicate skin, purple bruise forming before the hit even settled. the next place his fists found was your abdomen, until he decided his hands were not enough to do the damage he thought you deserved, slamming you into the cabinet in a fit of rage until wood splintered into your skin and glass rained down like vengeance, cutting into your flesh wherever the glass touched your skin
you sliding down the wall, dazed from pain and adrenaline, only for his boot to slam on your wrist shattering your bone in one agonizing audible snap
his words screaming in echos, clawing relentlessly, trapped in the depths of your skull
"you filthy fucking whore! you dare eye other men? you think i didn't see you smiling at that fucking apothecary? touch his shoulder? don't you dare to tell me that you were just being kind! i'll show you who you belong to when i make you choke on that kindness. i'll make sure you never forget what happens when you push me"
flashes of your brother steve hearing the screams, livid and enraged seeing the state you were in, hands closing around your ex-lover's neck in a final sentence he did not walk away from
your brother's arms holding you tightly, telling you that you're safe, that it's over. that you're okay, over and over again
"this was in self-defense, you hear me? he attacked, we defended. he fell. broke his neck. a freak fall, an accident." silence followed, your eyes wide and terrified, glued to steve's. "y/n! are you listening to me?"
"y-yes," you breathed with a shaking voice.
"do you understand?"
"yes, brother. self-defense. an accident. i-i understand."
your brother and his wife offered you their home, their care, a support you wouldn't have survived without
you were bedridden for days, a shivering fiver keeping you in and out of consciousness. your memories all bled into one another, the timeline disordered and scattered without any coherency
however, a few moments etched into your mind, crystal clear and comforting
the most beautiful blue eyes looking at you with concern and distress. warm hands brushing the plastered hair away from your face and a cold cloth cleaning your skin
gentle hands securing your broken wrist and tapping pomades on your angered bruises. pulling open your lips to slowly pour water and something horribly bitter causing you to fall into a coughing fit
strong hands supporting you and comforting words uttered close to your ear "i know it tastes dreadful love, i'm sorry, i'm so sorry. it will help you heal. i promise"
that same voice laced with regret, murmuring softly "oh y/n… how could we let this happen to you…"
a tender feather-like kiss on your forehead, lingering and sentimental. "i'll take care of you"
soft conversations you only half-picked up on. a tight voice questioning "bucky… please… how is she?"
a soft voice answering "she's going to be fine. i'll do everything i can, steve. she'll heal… physically, at least"
time went on. and you healed. but mental wounds festered and thrived because no one was able to reach them. no gentle hands to treat them with healing balm and gauze. but you couldn't overstep your brother's kindness anymore
you wanted to live your life, to enjoy things again. to let him and his family have their home to themselves again, even if they both insisted you were welcome to stay forever if needed. but you wanted to laugh with friends like you did before, take walks in the forest, read books in little pockets of time when the tavern was quiet. to decorate your own home, make it comfortable and safe
but you couldn't do that if your nights were plagued by terrors. if you flinched at sudden sounds and raised voices. if every shadow was an enemy, every sound of the house settling an attack waiting in ambush. if a well-meant touch ended with a breathless panic attack, hyperventilating until your lungs dried out in desperate search of oxygen that couldn't get through your constricted throat
this was mere surviving, one day after the next
you took a deep breath, shaking your head as if you could shake off the memories and cast them out for good. it was now or never. and the final choice was now
you knew the barnes family your whole life. they would never turn you down if you reached out for help. especially bucky. you turned the handle and entered, the old wooden door creaking in protest as the bell above it gently chimed to announce your arrival
the apothecary was cozy and comforting, illuminated by dozens of candles, numerous wooden shelves gracing every wall and filled with ceramic vessels and glass bottles, many of them carrying inscriptions written in elegant cursive writing - willow. sage. ginger. dragon's blood. mandrake root.
bouquets of mint, camomile and lavender were hanging in abundance from the ceiling to dry before being gently crushed into teas
the worktop was well loved and worn down, carrying generations of hard work and innovation in the stains and indentations on its surface. it was overflowing with things in a mess that probably only made sense to those using them
beautiful brass balance scales and weights of different sizes, glasses, books and scribbled journals, steaming cauldrons on low fires setting off beautiful aromas of cinnamon and cloves. it smelled like fresh autumn. crisp, sweet. like new beginnings
there was movement in the back room, a gentle stone-like sound of a mortar and pestle followed by rustling of a parchment
"h-hello?" your voice barely audible and shaking. you cleared your throat in hope of finding your voice. "hello?" you repeated softly, this time with more vigor
the grinding of the mortar stopped at the sound of your voice, light steps following shortly
a tall man stepped out dressed in a slightly oversized tunic tucked into dark pants, a worn leather belt hugging his hips. sleeves rolled up to his elbows, revealing strong arms with ling, delicate fingers
his dark hair was tousled and slightly longer than you remembered, half of it tied with a leather band to keep the hair away from his face while he worked. unsuccessfully so, you noticed, as a few shorter strands fell out of the confines and framed his face graced by a handsome stubble
his eyes crystal blue and mesmerizing as they've always been, a shine to them as the flames of the candles reflected in his irises
the genius apothecary currently in charge of the family business. town's sweetheart. the gentlest heart breaker. resident healer. james barnes.
he couldn't hide his surprise seeing you here at this late hour. worry flashed across his face, but he quickly collected himself and hid it behind a soft smile as to not make you uncomfortable
"y/n…it's been a while," he approached a few steps. "it's good to see you."
a fake half-smile flashed across your face, the kind that wasn't reflected in your eyes. a pretense that you're fine and you were just here as a passerby. "you as well, james."
his eyes roamed across your face, calculating and focused, like he was mapping a crime scene and collecting evidence of all the emotions you displayed. "i wasn't expecting anyone this late."
"oh. i mean- oh gods. i'm sorry. i wasn't even thinking. you must think me foolish. i can come back in the morn-"
"no," he cut you off, as your voice drifted off. he offered a genuine smile. "i'm always available to you, y/n."
you were flustered to hear such words from him, but also relieved. there was no way you'd be able to summon the courage to come here again if you left now
bucky never made you uncomfortable, but you shifted nervously under his gaze. it was as if he was mentally undressing you until he exposed all the scars and fractures living within
you both approached each other tentatively, step by step, until the worktop was the only thing standing between you. if you asked bucky, you were standing way too far from him, but he would never tell you that. not after everything you've been through
"why are you looking at me like that?" you broke the silence, voice on edge, like a wounded animal that scurried in a corner and has nowhere left to run
"like what?" he questioned, softening his gaze once he realized he must've made you uneasy
"like you're calculating how many sutures you'll need to stitch me back together."
bucky sighed, his own chest tightening just from seeing the burdened look in your eyes. he'd gladly take your pain upon himself if he could. the image of you beaten and broken lying in that bed while he used every piece of knowledge he had to heal you still haunted his dreams. "i wish it worked like that, y/n".
a brief silence hung in the atmosphere, filled with soft sounds of the apothecary in the background
"how are you? he asked with genuine curiosity and not only for the sake of asking. "really? i'm not interested in i'm fines and it's okays. i know you. you can trust me."
restlessness took over your whole body and bucky watched you fidget with everything your fingers touched. something was bothering you. there was something you needed from him, and you will not leave this apothecary until he found out what it was
"i….." there's no point in lying, right? i mean, you were here because everything was not okay. everything would be in vain if you backed down now
"honestly?" you said. "i feel like every breath i take is about to be my last"
you took a deep breath that did nothing to ease the storm brewing. "bucky, i don't know how to ask this but i need your help. and i'm not talking about sleeping drafts and calming potions anymore. i need something….you wouldn't record in your ledger and it would stay between us if i were to take it."
bucky was ready to hear a lot of things from you but not this. you must really be desperate to ask for something like this
he looked at you in question, eyes narrowed "i thought you didn't believe in such things."
"yes, well. when you have chronic insomnia from night terrors, flinch at physical contact and every sounds scares you to death you tend to change your mind very quickly."
a sudden dread washed over you, your back strengthening. you couldn't believe you just said that. your eyes widened, staring into his stunned ones. already expecting pity from him, heat rose into your cheeks from sheer embarrassment of your outburst. however, what you found in bucky's expression was genuine concern
"you've been feeling like this all this time? why haven't you come sooner?" his voice was tight, the sonorous tone bringing out goosebumps on your skin
"that hardly matters now."
"it matters to me, y/n. everything about you matters to me."
wait.
what?
your heart skipped a beat. intensely. the type where you feel your heart physically stuttering in your chest. your head tilted sideways as if you heard his words but not their meaning
bucky pondered for a moment, like he hesitated to tell you something . "i… spoke with your brother a few weeks ago. he said that you are doing better. that you're finding your footing again, after everything that happened."
you flinched a little at that, and bucky cursed his damned mouth that spoke before his brain had time to think
still, sudden clarity dawned upon you. that fucking… heathen was still controlling your life even now when he was six feet under
the hell with keeping your feelings all to yourself. the loneliness was bone-deep, its gnarly roots tightly wrapped around your skeleton. if anyone was allowed entry to your personal hell, it would be bucky
"i'm a good actress. and a liar. you can only be a victim for some time, bucky. after that, the pity in everyone's eyes gets really fucking old. it's no longer comforting." your lips were tight, brows furrowed. "it angers me."
you shot a stare at him full of anguish that chilled him to the bone. "i'm enraged. i want to scream. i'm wrathful without anyone to take revenge on. i want closure, or vengeance. and i can't get it"
bucky took three long strides around the worktop to get close, his height towering over you the way a guardian angel would shelter you with wings
"i'm drowning. i want peace. i haven't taken a proper breath in forever."
your words frightened him. but he wasn't frightened of you, but for you. the tone of your voice, the desperation etched in every part of you
"you said there's always a solution to everything, if you're brave enough to ask for it." you uttered softly. "bucky, i'm not sure if i'm brave or stupid, but i'm asking for it now. help me."
bucky brought his large hands and cupped your face in such a gentle, loving manner that you it almost brought you to tears
"why haven't you come to me sooner, y/n? i could've helped you. you know that" he looked bashful for a moment as he glanced at your lips, his ears heating up a little. "i know you know." he brought his eyes back to yours. "what i feel for you." a shaky breath left his lips, like it took emotional effort to say that. "your brother said i should probably stay away for now. just long enough to let you heal by yourself. fight your demons on your own so you can emerge stronger."
a laugh left your lips but it held no humour in it. "as you can see, it seems i did neither."
his body was so close to yours, the heat of it making you dizzy. you came here for a magical solution, an enchantment to mend you, but but the fast pace of your heartbeat and your racing thoughts made you forget everything but bucky's proximity to you
perhaps his presence was your solution. it took but a single gaze for you to wear your heart on a sleeve and give up your darkest thoughts that you haven't told anyone for a year. thoughts that were festering and rotting inside of you like a disease
bucky looked at you with tenderness once and words spilled out of you like a cursed poem poured out of a tortured poet stricken with anger
you haven't stopped looking at him since you've entered his shop and saw him emerging from the back room
you couldn't stop noticing his sun-kissed skin, his soft hair, the sublime shade of blue of his eyes that seemed brighter against the endearing flush of his cheeks
he was still cupping your face gently, keeping still while your eyes roamed across his face, mapping it. drinking it. letting it consume your thoughts, your pain and fear now an afterthought. you've felt a relief you haven't in a while. other emotions took place. ones that burned. ones that brought you back from the wrong side of the edge
yearning. longing. lust. deep rush of want. something deeper. a flicker of affection starting to steadily burn in your chest. you weren't sure if these feelings were just born, or reborn, brought out of the depths by being in his presence again. all your senses attuned to him. his flushed cheeks, lips as rosy and plush as rose petals. kissable.
all you could think about was the distance between you and much would it take you to rise on your tiptoes and crash your lips on his
bucky's mind was pure mayhem. the voice in his head repeating a steady rythm of i want her i want her i want her
i want her NOW
his eyes dropped to gaze at your lips and then back up to your eyes. it wasn't brief. he wasn't hiding. nor was he teasing. his hand moved to the small of your back, bringing you flush to his chest and the feeling of your breasts against him moving in the rhythm of your breaths nearly drove him insane
you slid your hands across his tunic, following the line of his abdomen across his chest, until they coiled around his broad shoulders, fingers playing with his hair
there was not enough oxygen in this room for the both of you. your heavy breaths mingled together, bucky now impossibly close but not close enough
a sigh escaped you and he almost closed his eyes in pleasure when he felt your hot breath on his lips. god, it smelled of honey. bucky prayed to whatever god was listening, even though he knew better than to pray after dark. god. please. i hope she feel the same.
he wanted you to close the gap. he wanted you to steal his words right from his tongue
"i thought you came to ask for a magical solution," he breathed.
"perhaps that's what you are to me," you answered.
oh. you are going to be his undoing. he will lose himself if he doesn't kiss you senseless. right now.
your lips were a single breath away, torturing him with the proximity. he could feel your lips brushing gently against his. so, so close. not close enough.
bucky started leaning in, but at the last moment pulled back a few inches. "are you…are you sure?"
without hesitation, you gave a small nod that will change everything. "fix me."
"i can fix you in other ways. for this, i think i'll love you instead", he spoke against your lips before he dived like a dying man taking his first real breath. your lips molded against each other, the pressure making you lightheaded
your lower lip caught between bucky's teeth who bit it gently before he sank into a deeper kiss. your tongues brushed tentatively, reserved and exploring until you both sighed in relief and pleasure from tasting each other
you tugged on his hair as he placed his hands firmly on your hips, fingers grasping the supple flesh and bringing your hips flush to his, making you bite back a moan when you felt him against you
"don't you dare take your moans away from me, y/n" he rasped, breaking the kiss for much needed air. instead of replying, you moaned deeply against his ear and seeing the look on his face sent fire straight between your legs, warmth and a feeling of desperation that needed a release settling there
you claimed his lips, in utter haste to taste them again. you kissed him. you drank him in. you molded his lips to only ever fit yours. bucky felt the change in your demeanor, the sudden desperation and desire coming off of you
his hand left your hip, and agonizingly slowly dipped in your waistband, somehow finding his way through all the layers of your clothing. inch by inch. taking his time, watching your face, letting you dictate the whole course of this
"you can say no," he whispered.
"and if i don't?" you replied.
"then you're saying yes to something much more then just this moment tonight, " he said surprisingly gently. vulnerable. in affection, you realized.
"then…yes." grasping his wrist, leading him lower between your legs in consent.
"yes," when his fingers brushed where you wanted him the most.
"yes...yes…" when he moved them in slow circles igniting a scorching fire you never thought you'd feel again, worshiping the most delicate part of you.
he watched your face contort into bliss and euphoria. just seeing your pleasure was enough to make him uncomfortably tight in his clothes. never has another had such influence over him, and bucky was getting drunk on you. the kind of drunk you never sobered up from
the moment his fingers slid inside you, you held onto his biceps as your knees started to give under you, unable to hold you straight anymore. the floor started slipping beneath you until his hand grasped around your waist, his iron grip holding you up straight
"does that feel good, love?" he asked lovingly, to which you could only reply with "more, bucky. please…more…"
your wish was his command. his fingers started moving with hastiness that left your breathless, and the coils of ember started intensifying in you. you opened your mouth but no words came through, only a soft whine he swallowed with a kiss
"i know, baby…i can feel it. you can let go, my love. let go"
the release hit you with a million electrifying sparks racing through your nerves, your body shivering in his embrace in the wake of your zenith, overwhelmed with warmth and adoration and fast flutters of butterflies within you
his swollen lips left wet, tender kisses on your neck and collarbone, every area of skin his lips met tingled long after he'd moved on to a different spot
moonlight settled on the shelves like specs of stardust. flickering candle flames caressed his skin, his body a furnace against yours. this was the most alive you've felt in the longest time, and your mind swirled with words that made your heart beat faster, but for all the right reasons
safe. warm. protected. cherished. loved
his hands squeezed your hips lovingly and started to retreat, at which your body reacted faster then you could think, grabbing his wrists. "where are you going?"
bucky melted at your eagerness to keep him close, and pecked you lovingly. first your lips. then the tip of your nose. then your forehead. "i just need to grab something from the back. it'll be just a moment"
bucky was gentle when he retreated, slow and deliberate in his movement, walking backwards for the first few steps so he can continue looking at you. disappearing from view, you could hear the sound of wooden drawers and the ringing clatter of small glass vials knocking against each other
rushing back to you, the room was humming with his presence again, like the slight change in air and frequency when someone walks into a room
he held the vial between his palms for a moment, all the while looking at your eyes. he offered it to you then, the vial filled with substance looking much like liquified, unnaturally and wonderfully warm to the touch
"this will alleviate your heartache. i promise," he smiled fondly. "imbued only with feelings of warmth and love. you'll have nice dreams."
a spellcaster. "full of surprises, are you not?"
breaking the wax seal, you held his gaze as you tilted the vial and a rush of gold streamed over your lips and down your throat. "it tastes… of cinnamon. sugar." your forehead met his, your noses caressing sweetly. "tastes of you."
bucky opened his mouth to speak but you quickly cut him off. "….can i come back for another dose tomorrow?"
laughing, he pecked your nose. "yes. there will be another vial already waiting for you."
"i wasn't talking about the elixir, bucky," you said with an indication of a smile in your voice while bucky felt like he fell straight on his back from a great height, knocking all the air from his lungs
he grabbed your waist, pulling you towards him
"why come back tomorrow when you can get another dose now", he breathed into your lips, running to lock the door and hang the "closed" sign with haste
Back in august I decided to join in on the fun and love fest that is the stardust reblog challenge hosted by the lovly @natrace :)
Within this masterlist I will try and sort the fics by month I read them in and by fandom. Mostly you will find MCU fics in here with either Steve or Bucky as the main character, maybe even both. But I do also sometimes read other quite random stuff.
Show them some love and heed the warnings provided. If you are a minor please follow any 18+ plus warnings and just read something else.
september fics
MCU
Bucky x Reader
Kiss Me Like You Mean It (Biker!Bucky) by @angrythingstarlight
Wedding Plans by @angrythingstarlight
Birthday Debriefing (Birthday!Reader) by @drabblewithfrannybarnes
day one: fingers (Tattooartist!Bucky) by @buckycuddlebuddy
Hungry by @mollygetssherlockcoffee
Personal Sessions (MMA!Bucky) by @angrythingstarlight
Scar tissue by @fandoms-writings
Why do you care? by @black-mistress-of-evil
Pierced through and through (TFATWS!Bucky) by @angrythingstarlight
What makes a Woman by @motsdouxdejanie
With all my love by @summerofsnowflakes
Love at First Grade (Single Dad!Teacher!Bucky, Single Mom!CEO!Reader) by @buckysimp101 (Parts 19, 20, Epilogue and Deleted Scene 1 read as part of the challenge)
Everything the Light touches (mafia!Bucky) by @buckysimp101 (Parts 1, 2, 3 and 4 read as part of the challenge)
Unnamed HC (baker!Bucky, biker!Bucky, mafia!Bucky) by @angrythingstarlight
Unnamed NSFW drabble (lumberjack!Bucky) by @angrythingstarlight
Unnamed Drabble (beefy lumberjack!Bucky) by @angrythingstarlight
Is it a crime (mob boss!Bucky, mob boss!Reader) by @crazyunsexycool (Part 3 read as part of the challenge)
Once upon a time (librarian!Bucky) by @navybrat817
Something Domestic (ex-military amputee!Bucky) by @fandoms-writings (Epilogue read as part of the challenge)
Steve x Reader
can't keep my hands to myself (Retired!dbf!Steve) by @christywantspizza
Happy Dirthday Doll (Birthday!Reader) by @secretswiftymarvelfan
The Cheerleader (dilf!Steve) by @kinanabinks
You got to my head (Pre-Serum!Steve; tall!Reader) by @barnesmurdock
Patch up (scientist!Reader) by @tooearlyforthis
Unnamed Drabble (mafia!Steve) by @angrythingstarlight
Breach of contract (Senator!Steve) by @imaginedreamwrite (Part 4 read as part of the challenge)
Unnamed Drabble (40s!Steve) by @sanguineterrain
Stucky x Reader
Unnamed Drabble by @becca-e-barnes
In a motel (dom!Steve, sub!Bucky) by @disasterofastory
Misc. fandoms
The Red Sea Diving Resort
Oh So Tempting (Ari Levinson x agent!Reader) by @justalonelyslytherin
TopGun
Falling in and out of love (Maverick x Reader) by @youlightmeupfinn (Part 8 read as part of the challenge)
Logan Lucky
The crash (Dayton White x Reader) by @fictional-affairs
The Fantastic Four (2005 film)
Unnamed Drabble (silverfox!Johnny Storm x Sugar baby) by @imaginedreamwrite
Another unnamed drabble (silverfox!Johnny Storm x Sugar baby) by @imaginedreamwrite
Once Upon a Time
Unnamed Drabble (sorcerer!Jefferson x familiar!Reader) by @imaginedreamwrite
Summary: Bucky Barnes, a daring carefree spy working for an international organization meets a clueless, slightly neurotic but none the less loving reader. Chaos ensues from their first date.
Characters: AU Bucky Barnes x reader
Warnings: Fluff? Smut? Swearing? All the fun stuff I love!
A/N: Well, I guess here we are. Maya wrote a new fic and she’s incredibly proud of this one lol! Anyway, Here is the masterlist for my new fic, it is written for a writing challenge but i’ll tag challenge when I post the first chapter. Since I am starting over on my blog, if you’d like to be added to my taglist, please hit me up in the asks. I am limiting the space so if you’d like a tag let me know asap! Show me some love if ya’ll would like me to drop the first chapter this weekend! :D
(THIS IS A LOVE STORY SO YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED)
Chapter One - The setup
Chapter Two - We meet again
Chapter Three - Here comes trouble
Chapter Four - Rules for a successful date by Bucky Barnes
Chapter Five - Around the world in 3 days
Chapter Six - Safety in numbers?
Chapter Seven - Where did I leave my gun?
Chapter Eight - Honey, There’s a dead man in our kitchen.
Summary: Still heartbroken from your last relationship, romance and relationships are far off from your radar. But your friend has taken it upon herself to set you up on a surprise blind date. God only knows where it can go from there.
Warnings: first date/blind date jitters. Firefighter!Bucky & Firefighter!Steve.
Day 2 of @itsbuckysworld ’s Hello Spring 2020 writing event.
Prompt: Blind Date
Word Count: 2.3k
A/N: This was written and edited amidst so many distractions, I can’t even. This is going to have a part two…maybe a part three, I’m open to suggestions. Happy reading!
It was not your idea. Honestly, you did not even know it was going to happen.
You thought you were going to the drive-in with your girlfriend to catch the latest horror flick and blow off the stress of the week. You had even stashed white wine in water bottles to sneak in. But, in hindsight, you should have guessed something was up.
She had been preoccupied while parking the car and only gave single word acknowledgements as you gushed over the director and screenwriter team up while in line at the concessions stand.
But the cincher should have been when she simply purchased a pack of red vines when you ordered your large tub of popcorn. You had just stepped out of the tiny building to head back to her car when she gripped your arm tightly, her urgency startling you into spilling fluffs of popcorn.
“Don’t be mad,” She spoke in a hushed voice. “But I invited Steve.”
You balked; the spilled popcorn momentarily forgotten.
“Steve? As in four dates in two weeks, Steve?”
“As in firefighter Steve with the rocking bod, yes!”
“Why?”
“He has a friend.”
You did not know if you were panicked or furious. When you saw Steve, tall, handsome with a rocking bod (her words) approach; you leaned towards panicked. She set you up. With someone probably just as gorgeous, and you were holding a tub of lard.
She grimaced in apology at your stunned silence, before turning to beam at her new boyfriend. She disappeared in his bear hug. You clutched the tub of popcorn and wished you could disappear into the Saturday evening crowd.
When they turned to you, he was charming. He spoke kindly, introduced himself and complimented your outfit.
“Girls’ night; the one night a week I dress up, you know.” You spoke, unable to keep the bite from your tone even as you tried desperately to smile. “We’re parked a few cars over; will you be joining us?”
Steve exchanged a look with your friend, who appeared nervous still. What more could she possibly throw at you?
The thought occurred to you suddenly that she expected him to join her in her car and you would sit with his friend in whatever vehicle they brought. You locked eyes with her. She wouldn’t dare!
Steve’s eyes settled on someone behind you, his chin lifted.
“This is my friend, Bucky.”
You turned. The man was almost as tall as Steve, dark hair pulled back at the nape of his neck, thick body beneath a Henley and blue jeans. A large bowl of nachos, piled with refried beans, lettuce, tomato, cheese, and jalapeños held in his hands. One hand inconspicuously gloved.
“Bucky, this is Y/N.”
Judging by the blank stare he gave you he was as out of the loop of this plan as you were. There was that, at least.
“Excuse us,” You said before marching a couple paces away from the circle. Your friend had no choice but to follow. “What the hell?”
“What? He has a single friend; I have a single friend.” She held her hands out, raising one, then the other before clasping them together.
“Oh, come on. Right now, I’m more attracted to those nachos than the guy holding them.” Your friend rolled her eyes, so you dropped your voice. “I’m not ready.”
“Honey, it’s been six months. You are ready. You are. Come on, the movie is about to start, will you just trust me? Steve says he is a great guy. They’ve been friends for years.”
“Believe it or not, I am aware of their legendary friendship.” It was a small town, people talked. That glove covered a nasty burn Bucky had sustained after being knocked unconscious by a roof collapse. Steve had been the one to go back in and pull him out of the burning building. Rumor had it, the burns went all the way up his left arm. He almost lost it.
“Then you know you could do way worse for a first date after that shit show he-who-shall-not-be-named put you through.”
You winced. It had been six months, but the devastation of your boyfriend of four years leaving you for his yoga instructor still stung. You could not wait for the day when it would be less hurtful and more embarrassing.
“He looked just as surprised by this as I was, how do you know this is a good idea?”
“You have to trust me, and you have to trust Steve.”
“Four dates in two weeks.” You reminded her.
“Then trust only me, come on! Also, you don’t really want to third wheel it with me in my car, do you? You know what happens at drive-ins…”
“You’re evil.”
“You love me.”
“You’re lucky I do.” You grumbled while letting her drag you back to Steve and Bucky.
The two of you sat in the bed of Bucky’s pickup truck, a plaid blanket the cushion between you and cold steel. It didn’t strike you as intimate until his leg brushed yours as he leaned back to get comfortable. And once your mind went there, it was hard to think of anything else.
Bucky was good looking, a firefighter that worked on the same squad as Steve, so you knew the thickness to his body carried rippling muscle. His thighs in particular kept catching your eye.
But you were here for the movie, had been looking forward to seeing it since you first saw the trailer in January. Menial conversation was the only way to pull yourself back out. The trailers for the fall movie lineup were still playing when you turned to him.
“Is the drive-in a common date for you and Steve?”
Bucky’s brow furrowed as he chewed.
“No,” He said, clearly waiting for you to rephrase your question. When you didn’t, he sat back up and placed his nachos down between you. “Is it for you and your friend?”
“We’re here the first showing in spring and try for every weekend until the last showing in fall.” You played with the popcorn, before eventually tossing it in your mouth. You weren’t used to taking dainty scoops, one pop at a time. If it were not for the present company, you would be mindlessly shoving handfuls into your mouth, eyes glued to the screen. “How did Steve convince you to come if you didn’t know this was a setup?”
“He said this was the only place showing Blood Moon Rising, that the theater wouldn’t have it for another three weeks.”
You turned to him, disbelief on your face.
You could not tell in the dark as the trailers transitioned to one last advertisement for the concession, but you were pretty sure Bucky was blushing.
“Are you serious?”
“I had no reason not to believe him!” His pitch was high in defense.
You laughed.
He rolled his eyes before twisting at the waist to face you.
“Can we strike a truce?”
You tossed some more popcorn in your mouth and chewed thoughtfully, reveling in the eye contact.
“What’s the truce?”
“No funny business until after the movie.”
“That’s a bit presumptuous.” When Bucky tensed and opened his mouth to protest, giggled. “I’m kidding!”
Bucky leaned back again, shaking his head.
“So, you’ve got jokes,” He commented half to himself.
“This whole night feels like a big joke.” You muttered in response.
“Should I be offended?”
“No. No, no, that…has nothing to do with you.”
Between his confusion and your guilt, an awkward silence fell over you. You decided to ease up and play along. Just because this night wasn’t going the way you planned, didn’t mean it had to suck.
“We can have a truce. Though, no hand stuff is my truce. Because this drinking water,” you held up your pink water bottle, the contents sloshing with the movement. “Technically counts as funny business.”
“Someone after my own heart.” He reached back under the toolbox across the bed to pull out a cooler. Flipping the lid, he retrieved a can of beer. His fingers snapped it open before he tilted it towards you. An olive branch.
You tapped your water bottle against his can in cheers, the eye contact brief before you both took a long sip of your ice-cold drinks.
“Shh! It’s starting!” You pat his arm hurriedly and rearranged yourself to comfortably watch the large screen.
Well into the movie, with only kernels left in your tub and dried cheese on Bucky’s bowl, the two of you had your backs pressed to opposite sides of the bed.
It was a suspenseful moment. You knew the monster was about to scream its way into the scene. You reached for your wine without looking, but it spilled almost immediately across your lap.
You cursed in hushed tones, rising to your knees in hopes of keeping the damage minimal. Bucky moved, first instinct to try to help, but all the movement had the bed swaying and you lost your balance.
Your arm fell upon his shoulder, hand splaying across his back and chest near his face.
Bucky didn’t notice, busy trying to dry the mess with the blanket.
“I think I got it all,” He whispered, lifting his head to look at you. His expression froze when your eyes locked, as if realizing the proximity only then.
The scream pierced the atmosphere, others screamed in their cars. You and Bucky startled away from each other.
“Come on, let’s move to the back.” He suggested quietly.
Your heart jumped to your throat.
“What?”
“We can lean against the toolbox, that way you’re not sitting in anything wet.” He crumpled the blanket into a ball and stashed it in the corner.
“Oh, right.” You laughed nervously and you moved together deeper into the bed.
Although your shoulders did not touch, you were hyper aware of his proximity. The suspense on the screen was no longer the most exciting thing on your mind.
“They wouldn’t just ditch us.” You said as the credits continued to roll. The screen on your cell phone showed that the last five of your texts had still yet to be read.
Bucky dropped the phone from his ear and smiled wryly at you. Another call gone to voicemail.
“Wouldn’t they, though?”
You sighed, dropping your head back against the toolbox.
“We can’t trust them after this, can we?”
“Easy for you to say, I have to trust Steve. No matter how much of a punk he is.”
You shared sympathetic smiles before you both turned back to your phones.
“Is our truce still standing?” You asked. “Because I could use a ride home.”
He chuckled, his teeth showing cutely as a strand of hair fell loose from the clasp. “Yeah, I’ll get you home. Come on.” He rolled to his feet and hoisted himself over the side to land solidly on the earth.
You wondered if he was showing off but bit your lip to keep the thought to yourself.
The cab was filled with a distinct clean scent, thanks to the air fresheners clipped directly to the air vents. The stereo lit your faces green, the volume lowered so summer jams were a hum. You had insisted on using your GPS to help him locate your address, but once given, Bucky apparently already knew where to go.
You allowed yourself to sit back and enjoy the ride.
“So, what brought you to our small cove town?” At your startled expression, Bucky shrugged. “You’re using GPS, so I know you’re not from here.”
Sighing, you couldn’t help but silently curse your friend. Part of getting back into the dating game was giving parts of yourself to strangers, something you hadn’t had to worry about in years.
“My friend is from here. She invited me over for spring break one year in college and I fell in love...” You trailed off at the memory.
That was when you first met your ex. The sun had been shining and you were as intoxicated by the salty air as the mojitos from the tiki bar when he flashed you a smile so dazzling, you felt as if you were the only person in the world he cared about.
But that was a long time ago.
You shook yourself back to the present.
“What about you?”
“Born and raised.”
“Really?”
“Hard to believe?”
“No.” You said it a little too quickly. Bucky smiled but said nothing, keeping his eyes on the road. Your hands fidgeted in your lap. “I guess that explains why you and Steve are like legends around here.”
“What? You’ve heard about me?”
There was that tooth in his smile again, peeking out just over his bottom lip. It was distracting.
“Maybe. ‘Hero’ may have been thrown around in conversation.”
Bucky grimaced, rested his arm on the door and ran his hand back through his hair.
“Not a fan?” You asked.
“Not a hero.” The way he said it was different than a humble denial. There was an edge, something akin to guilt.
You sensed he didn’t want to talk about it, but the thing was, you now wanted to ease those dark thoughts that plagued him.
“You may not be a hero,” You began lightly. “But you pull people out of burning buildings. You save lives. And cats from trees. Personally, that’s my favorite.”
It was a light chuckle, one that could have been easily lost in the soft music and blast of the air vents. But it was there. Lighting up his face, bringing him back from the shadows.
It was not your idea. Honestly, you did not even know it was going to happen. But when he dropped you off on the sidewalk outside of your apartment building and asked if you would like to get dinner some time, you said yes.
A/N: all i’m gonna say is ... i’m sorry. i am but plot must do its thing.
Next Chapter
Y/N woke up with a moist cloth being dabbed on her head. She didn’t feel like opening her eyes, he whole head was pounding, almost as if she was constantly hitting her head. Nevertheless, she had to wake up, she could her muffled sounds calling out her name softly and as she slowly opened her eyes, she found Bucky holding said cloth with worry written all over his face and concern shining on his blue eyes, wide open now that she was awake and with the orange light of the fireplace shining on the baby blue hues, giving them an unnatural colour.
He sat down beside her, on an empty spot of the bed, still rather further away from her, placing the small bowl of water and the cloth on the bed side table. She tried to raise her torso from the bed, but James didn’t allow for that to happen, softly putting his hand over his chest.
- What happened? - she had no recollection of when she had been taken back to his place, her last memory being talking with Eros and Psyche. Bucky could hear the feebly tone of her voice and pulled the covers so she wouldn’t be exposed to the cold air.
- You just fainted, sunflower ... - he stopped himself mid sentence, battling over if he should or shouldn’t tell her the reason why she had fainted. He thought there was no use on telling her, thinking there was no reason to worry her if he could fix it before she even discovered it. - You need to rest.
- Did I ruin it? - she asked, almost like a child in trouble, cuddling against the very soft sheets.
- It would take more than a fainting mortal to distract ambrosia filled gods, sunflower. - he caressed her face, lips tightening as it was still as cold as when he caught her fainting. Y/N noticed the change in mood but decided not to mention it, not wanting to bother Bucky with it. - Do you want anything? Maybe some tea?
- I would love some tea. - she smiled at him, putting her hands on the mattress so she could rise up to peck his lips softly. Bucky forced a calm smile before getting up from the bed leaving her by her lonesome for a while. She definitely knew something was up, not only because her head was still pounding but it felt like she had been frosted.
Y/N looked around, trying to look for any evidence of what had happened prior to her awakening, but nothing. It was the same old room, with the same old sounds of tortured souls on the outside and river hitting the shores. It was hard to get anything from James unless he wanted you to know and Y/N had grown accustomed with his silence. However, when it concerned her, she wasn’t very happy with the idea of him hiding things. It was almost like talking to a wall sometimes.
Bucky joined her after a while, opening the door with a nice cup of what smelt like peppermint tea. He sat by her side, handing her the cup while his arm sneakingly wrapped itself around her shoulders, giving him the much wanted touch.
- You look worried. - she took the cup to her lips, taking small sips but still remaining a fairly consistent eye contact with him. - At least you look more worried than usual.
- It’s nothing, I just need to get it sorted and then it’ll be alright. - she could tell he wasn’t comfortable talking about it by his nails scratching his neck and the constant avoiding of her curious eyes. - You’re not convinced are you?
- Not even one bit.
- You don’t have to concern yourself with anything. I just have to get some stuff sorted. Meanwhile Hecate and Ariadne are downstairs if you feel worse or if you need anything. - he kissed the top of her head.
Bucky knew exactly who, despite everything, had answers to why Y/N was going through what she was going through. It wasn’t exactly in his plans to go into the mortal realm, finding that after Y/N wasn’t there anymore it was just another place that would send him into a spiral of things he wasn’t really supposed to be thinking about.
In a snap of his fingers he was back there, back in the mortal realm. It felt wrong to be there without Y/N, without the happiness of knocking on her door to see her, it felt even wrong to be in the same place that had doomed her to where she was right now. He walked up the stairs of her building, his mind screaming at him that it was his fault, that once again he had managed to destroy purity without much thought. Nevertheless, if there was someone who could help Y/N at this moment was the exact person who carried the dismay of the god of the Underworld and many others who didn’t exactly enjoyed the presence of Y/N in the underworld.
Knowing he had no other choice, he raised his hand to softly knock on her door, instantly moving it away. It didn’t take long for the sounds of steps to come closer and closer, becoming louder and louder until the lock was unlocked and the door slightly opened. There she was, her brown hair was shorter, unruly and unlike expected, she seemed to be waiting for him, soft look on her face as if she wasn’t in danger.
- If it’s death you’re bringing me, I’m receiving it with open arms.
- You should no better that I do not bring you death, despite how much I wish you were suffering in the lowest grounds of the Underworld. It’s about Y/N.
- What about Y/N? - Anne furrowed her brows at his statement, before standing slightly left the door, inviting him in.
- You’re an oracle, shouldn’t you know? Or will you riddle me an answer? - Bucky wasn’t one for fake formalities, specially when it came to Anne. - She’s dying.
She stopped in her path, slowly turning around to look at the god of the dead with detective eyes. He looked tired, almost dead even if possible, however she should not be dying. Y/N shouldn’t be dying, it was the fear of being struck by an angry god that had forced Anne into sending her to the Underworld where it was almost certain James would not allow for anything bad to come around and hurt her.
- I ... I don’t know what you want for me.
- You sent her there, this is your fault she’s dying. Fix it.
- I can’t fix it, I sent her there in the first place because it kept being shown that she was gonna die. I would never purposely hurt Y/N.
- Maybe you should’ve considered the fact that mortals do not belong in the underworld in the first place.
- What do you expect me to do? I can’t change my actions, I can’t force her back into the mortal realm. I can only precognition the future and act on it the way I deem fit. - she sighed, fingers resting in the space between her eyebrows, watching as her entire first plan crumbled in front of her. - I did not expect the Underworld to suck the life out of her.
- So what do we do now? You got her into this mess, what do we do? - to be begging in front of a hatred woman for the safety of Y/N was something James never expected to, but here he was, suffering in his voice, looking for a way out of her doomed fate.
- There’s nothing we can do. We can just ... watch her die.
tag list: @philogrobizedvee @keithseabrook27 @inlovewith319 @nwbstan @romanoffs-heart
SSB Square Filled: “Why the long face?” (Bolded and Italicized below)
Beta’d by: @shy-violet-soul - what would I do without you?!
A/N: Alright, here it is. My first attempt at MCU Fanfic and hopefully the first of more to come. I really love Bucky’s character and the ways parts of him can be expounded upon. This particular piece was written for @heli0s-writes 2K Challenge. My prompt was the song “Dead Sea” by the Lumineers. I kinda picked it apart and used bits of lyrics within the fic, which are highlighted. This is also the first fic for my @star-spangled-bingo card. Hope you enjoy! I’d love to hear your feedback!
If you’d like to be added to my taglist, send me an ask!
X
Dead Sea
“Why the long face?”
Four words, spoken with casual naivete and a breath of gentle teasing. Bucky froze, the unlit cigarette, now forgotten, dangling between his lips as he looked around for the source of his distraction. His gaze landed on her as she flicked her lighter, bringing the flame to her own cigarette and taking a drag. Her hair itself was like fire, brilliant red and vivid orange dancing around her face in the breeze. She smiled, smoke billowing in delicate tendrils from her nose and mouth as she held the lighter out.
Bucky blinked, glancing around once again. Surely she was addressing someone else? His eyes narrowed as his search came back empty and he looked at her again.
She wiggled the lighter in his direction and chuckled, the sound electrifying every nerve in his body and making the hair on his arms stand on end. A sound that pure and beautiful should be reserved for...well, anything or anyone except him. Bucky knew he should turn around and go back inside - leave her alone and untainted by his mere existence.
And yet as she watched him patiently, the sun overhead making her eyes and hair sparkle, he silently nodded his thanks and accepted the proffered item. It took a few failed attempts before he successfully ignited the tip of his cigarette and inhaled the bitter smoke, returning the lighter in silence.
“I’m y/n,” she offered, tucking it away again.
Dumbstruck.
It’s not a word Bucky would have used to describe himself in recent years. As a naive, fresh-faced kid 20 years ago? Sure. But a former soldier and recently retired enforcer for a powerful mob back East? Hell no.
And yet, there was no other word to describe it.
Bucky Barnes was dumbstruck.
He took a long drag and exhaled, hoping the cloud of smoke would provide some sort of camouflage as he spoke.
“‘M’name’s Bucky,” he mumbled.
“Nice to meet you, Bucky,” her tone brightening around her widening smile. “I haven’t seen you before. You new?”
Bucky nodded, hiding again behind his antiquated bad habit.
“I work just there,” she gestured behind her, cigarette carefully poised between two fingers. “At the salon. I’m a stylist.”
Bucky jerked his thumb to the door a few places down from where she’d pointed.
“I just started at the pawn shop.”
Y/n nodded, taking another drag.
“You said something. Earlier.” Bucky cleared his throat, his continued socialization a surprise to himself. “What did you say?”
Y/n grinned, sheepishly, dropping the cigarette to the ground and stomping it with the toe of her worn Converse.
“I asked ‘Why the long face?’” Y/n pulled her jacket around her, shielding herself from the chilly gusts of late winter air. “It’s just...well. You looked kinda sad.”
Bucky chuckled, flicking his cigarette away deftly. “I’ve been told that’s just my face.”
Y/n pressed her lips together and narrowed her gaze at him, nodding thoughtfully.
“I appreciate the concern, though.” One side of Bucky’s mouth quirked up, the ghost of the charming ladies-man he’d once been playing over his features.
“I’ll see you around, Bucky.” She laughed to herself once more before ducking her head and retreating toward her shop, the door closing behind her.
I hope so. Bucky thought to himself. I really hope so.
----
The next few weeks passed in much the same way; smoke breaks shared behind the strip mall, shy smiles and quiet comfort found in the low murmuring between them.
“But why did you leave New York for bumfuck Ohio?” She pressed gently one day, flicking ash into the wind. “This place is just so...boring.”
Bucky’s jaw tensed, having dreaded this question from the moment he put the Empire State in his rearview mirror. The dread compounding even more as the thought of telling her the truth flashed through his mind.
Bucky took another drag before tossing the butt on the ground and stomping it out mercilessly.
“New York lied to me. I needed the truth.” Bucky smirked in self-contempt, the irony heavy on his tongue. It wasn’t entirely false, but it wasn’t the honesty he wished he could give her, either. “Besides, boring isn’t so bad.”
He chanced a look in her direction and found her, nodding thoughtfully as she often did, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. To Bucky, that one gesture felt as though she saw through him, though the feeling wasn’t raw and exposed as he kept anticipating. It felt...reassuring, somehow. Like she saw him as someone he wasn’t even certain he was, and was just biding her time until she could reflect the image back to him.
“Well, whatever brought you here, Bucky,” she smiled, brushing the neon green and pink hair from her eyes. “I’m really thankful it did.”
Bucky cleared his throat, refusing to look at his watch, as though doing so would deplete their time together faster.
“What about you? If it’s so boring here, why do you stay?” His tone bordered on teasing, but as soon as the words left his mouth he regretted them.
Y/n blinked rapidly, the edges of her smile crumbling visibly. He could practically see her forcing her facial muscles to keep it place.
“It’s my dad,” her voice was barely a whisper. “He’s sick. Cancer. My mom left ages ago and I’m all he’s got.”
She shrugged, leaving him with more questions than answers. Bucky knew better than most not to press the matter. She never did with him, so he allowed her the same respect.
“I’m sorry.”
Y/n nodded, a silent acceptance of his sincerity. She took a small step forward - her warmth and vitality crowding his space in all the best ways - and, leaning up, pressed a kiss to his cheek.
Blood roared in Bucky’s ears and his heart thudded against his ribs almost violently. The feel of her chapped lips on his skin lingered as she stepped back.
“Have a good afternoon, Bucky.” She started to walk back inside, but turned to face him again. “You oughta come by sometime, let me get my fingers in that hair of yours.”
Feigning offense, Bucky scoffed, and pushed some of the long strands back over his ears. “What’s wrong with my hair?”
Y/n smiled, a renewed joy in the curve of her lips. “Nothing.”
Bucky watched as she retreated back through the door of the salon, finding himself, once again, dumbstruck.
----
“What about - ” she drew the word out, finger outstretched as she settled on the one she wanted, “that one?”
Bucky chuckled. Of course she would pick that one.
“That one is Vega.”
Bucky turned his head, finding her profile highlighted by the glow of the heavens above. He found her joy intoxicating.
He’d been nervous when he asked if she wanted to do something after work earlier in the day. Nervous and more than a little clumsy, having already convinced himself that she’d turn him down. But she hadn’t. In fact, Bucky thought she almost looked relieved. Though whether it was because she’d hoped he’d ask or because she simply needed a brief reprieve from the responsibility of caring for an ailing father, he wasn’t sure.
All he knew for certain was that sitting there, blanketed by an inky black sky dotted with shimmering stars next to her was the only place he wanted to be. He felt a bone-deep peacefulness he’d never experienced in his life and it had everything to do with the pastel blue-haired girl who’d agreed to go stargazing with him.
"You know," he began, swallowing thickly when she turned to face him. "They say that Vega was a goddess who fell in love with a farmer. She descended the heavens to be with him and promised to bring him back with her. Her father became so enraged with them, he banished them both to the sky, but far apart from one another."
"That's so sad," she whispered, her face scrunched.
Bucky nodded.
"But," he began, desperate to wipe the frown from her lips, "once a year - on the seventh day of the seventh month - a bridge of magpies forms across the milky way so the lovers can be reunited once more."
It worked.
Y/n's eyes glittered brightly with excitement again and at once Bucky's breath was stolen from his lungs. In that moment, Bucky would have lassoed the moon and brought it to earth if it meant being cocooned in her mirth for a few more seconds.
"That's so romantic, in a horribly tragic kind of way." She laughed, the sound knitting together pieces of himself he'd long assumed irreparable. "Thank you for this, Bucky. I needed some fresh air."
"Anytime, sweetheart."
The voice in his head bellowed that the blush gracing her cheeks was a figment of his imagination. But, as her hand linked with his, the roar of doubt and fear subsided for a moment. He closed his eyes briefly, meticulously cataloging the feel of her palm in his own.
"What are you thinking?" Her melodic voice vibrated through the night air.
"Sometimes," he started, unsure how to put his chaotic thoughts into words. "Sometimes I feel like I'm sinking and I can't seem to catch my breath."
Her thumb soothed gentle circles over his knuckles, sending a shiver down his spine.
"But for some reason - when I'm with you - I feel like I can't help but float." Bucky cringed. As often as he'd considered expressing his budding feelings for her, he had done a piss-poor job when the moment presented itself.
And yet...
Her lips were warm against the rough skin of his hand and it shot little jolts of electricity up his arm and throughout his body.
"I'll be your Dead Sea, Bucky," her breath tickled the hair on the back of his hand as she pressed another kiss there. "You'll never sink when you're with me."
----
“You’re insane.”
Y/n giggled merrily as the rhythmic swells of Latin beats carried on the breeze from the Puerto Rican restaurant a few doors away.
Bucky grinned. "Probably."
"It's raining!" Y/n protested, a whine lacing her words.
Bucky tipped his head to one side, his hand held out feeling the gentle patter of rain against his skin.
"’S’not raining, it's sprinkling. I know you're sweet, but I promise ya won't melt." His words were flat, but his lips betrayed the attempt at a deadpan retort.
Y/n simply narrowed her gaze at him, crossing her arms over her chest, though her smile muted the effect of her challenge.
“Aw, cah’mon, sweetheart,” Bucky drawled, Brooklyn accent thick and charming. “No one’s gonna see us.”
“I don’t know how!”
Y/n glanced nervously from Bucky’s outstretched palm to his face and back.
“Well, lucky for you, I’m an excellent teacher.” Bucky quirked an eyebrow as his lips drew up in an inviting grin.
Reluctantly - but only just - she released the air from her lungs in a dramatic sigh, throwing her hands in the air.
“Fine. But it’s only because you’re cute.”
Bucky’s smile widened as his pulse quickened, a rush of warmth heating his cheeks as she placed her right hand in his. He draped her other on his shoulder before planting his right hand against her back.
“It’s easy, just remember one, two, three. One, two, three.” He squeezed her hand encouragingly. “Now, when I step forward you step back. Just mirror my steps and follow my lead. One, two, three. One, two, three.”
Slowly, carefully, Bucky moved them both in a less-than-graceful rendition of a Salsa dance. He didn’t care when she stepped on his toes and cursed under her breath. All that mattered to him was the feel of her in his arms and the sparkle in her eyes as their steps became somewhat synchronized.
"So," Bucky mused, taking advantage of her gaze averted in favor of their feet. "Cute, huh?"
Y/n's steps faltered, her left foot landing hard against Bucky's right and her head connecting with his chin as she tried to jerk her eyes up to his. Bucky yelped in pain and y/n stumbled backward, her feet tangling with his as they both crumpled to the ground in a heap.
"Oh my God, Bucky!" Y/n gasped, hands scrambling for purchase as she tried to untangle herself. "I'm so sorry! Are you ok?!"
Bucky's deep laughter halted her efforts to climb off him. She laughed then too - high, slightly embarrassed giggles that she tried to cover with her palm. Her eyes widened as his arms tightened around her waist, drawing her in closer.
Bucky swept the faded purple hair from her face, brushing his thumb against her jaw as their laughter died. It was as if time stopped and the only thing that existed in that moment was the two of them. Her breath caught gently when he hooked his fingers behind her neck and began to pull her face to his.
Whether it was poor timing or just another way for the universe to screw him over, he couldn't be sure. But before their lips met, the skies opened up and large, cold raindrops pelted them, instantly drenching them both and ruining whatever moment it might have been.
Y/n squealed, jumping to her feet and ducking under the shelter of the awning. Defeated, frustrated and wet, Bucky slowly ambled up and joined her a few moments later. Bucky groaned running his fingers through his soaking hair and trying in vain to wring the water out. Y/n grinned, her cheeks and nose dusted a light pink that he was sure hadn't been there before he'd asked her to dance.
"Y/n," Bucky started but froze when he realized his voice was one of two calling her name in the same moment.
"Mrs. Perry's timer just went off!"
"I'll be right in!" She called back cheerfully, though her eyes shone with reluctance as Bucky stared into them. "Shit. I'm sorry, Bucky. I uh," she pressed her palms together and dropped her gaze briefly. "Thank you for the dance lesson and sorry for...ya know...being about as graceful as a baby moose."
Before he could protest her self-deprecating remark, she leaned up, pressing a kiss to his cheek and turned to go back inside. Bucky stared after her, his cheek warm despite the chill the rain had tried burying inside his bones.
----
Bucky’s thumb drummed nervously against the wooden surface of the reception desk as he did yet another visual sweep of the room. It was more quiet than he’d expected, though to be honest, he had little to base his assumptions on.
A few agonizing moments later, a tall, raven haired woman with blood red lips and a ring through her eyebrow approached. She smiled warmly at him, wiping her palms on the front of her black apron.
“Hi, can I help you?”
Bucky swallowed, his nerves making him jittery. “Yeah, I’m looking for y/n.”
“I’m sorry, did you have an appointment?” The woman frowned, a deep crease marring her heavily made-up face. “Judith was supposed to call all of her appointments last night.”
Fear prickled at the back of his neck and a shiver ran down his spine.
“I didn’t have an appointment. I’m Bucky. From next door? Is she okay?”
“Oh of course. Bucky.” The woman smiled and then sighed. “Her father passed away yesterday afternoon. I know she’d been expecting it eventually, but I don’t think anyone is really ever ready.”
His heart broke for her. He wished he’d known or that there was something he could have done. He’d make the earth spin backwards if it would make her happy.
“Do you know where she lives?” Bucky cringed knowing how stalker-y that sounded. “I just, I’m worried about her.”
The woman pursed her lips, her eyes roaming over his face, studying him. Whatever she’d found there must have been enough because she pulled out a pen and a slip of paper.
“If anything happens to her, Bucky From Next Door, I will not hesitate to kill you. I know where you work and I know that boss of yours better than you do.” She scribbled something on the paper before pushing it towards him. Her expression softened, then, a small smirk playing at the edge of her lips. “Besides, I think she could use a friend right now. If that’s what you’re calling yourselves these days.”
Bucky blushed, but nodded. He mumbled his thanks as he hurried out the door.
----
Bucky paused, his fist poised to knock on the bright yellow door as he sucked in a steadying breath. The setting sun stole the warmth of spring from the air and he found himself shivering. Just when he calmed his nerves, the door opened suddenly, startling him and forcing him to take a step backward. Y/n’s face was pale and her wide eyes were rimmed with red, but the visible signs of sorrow did nothing to lessen her beauty.
“Bucky?” She gasped a second before she lunged for him, wrapping him in a fierce hug.
He held her as she shuddered against him and buried her face in the crook of his neck. The sound of her broken sobs made his stomach churn and he rubbed small, comforting circles against her back.
She pulled back suddenly, rubbing her eyes violently and huffing a frustrated laugh.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to blubber all over - “
“No,” Bucky cut her off. “Sweetheart, don’t apologize. Whatever you need, I’m here.”
Sniffling, she tried smiling, though it was little more than a faint upturn of her lips.
"You are, aren't you." Her nose scrunched in thought. "How did you know?"
Bucky ran a shaking hand through his hair, eyes focused in his scuffed boots.
"I, uh," he cleared his throat. "I stopped by to see if I could get a haircut. They told me about...what happened." He looked at her then. "I'm so sorry, y/n."
She nodded, arms wrapping around herself.
"I knew it was coming soon, I just," she took a deep breath and released it. She continued, voice soft. "I thought I would have more time, ya know?"
Bucky hummed in understanding.
"You want to come in? I just made some coffee." She laughed. "I don't even know why I came out here. I think I'm a little out of it."
Bucky followed her inside, shutting the door behind him. She led him through the small entryway and into the kitchen, dodging a small pile of suitcases stacked near the doorway. Glasses rattled as she searched for a pair of mismatched mugs and set them on the counter beside the coffee pot.
"You goin' somewhere?" Bucky tipped his head toward the bags when she looked at him.
Her eyes flashed with something Bucky didn't understand before she turned back to her task. The scent of black coffee was comforting as she handed him a mug. A frowning panda glared up at him from the surface of the cup below the words "I hate mornings." It made Bucky smile.
Y/n cleared her throat, drawing his attention back to her. She faced him, hip resting against the edge of the counter.
"He had been sick for so long, I started to think that this was all my life would ever be. I figured I'd stay, take care of him, maybe get a few cats." Cradling her own mug in one hand, she ran her fingers through uncharacteristically messy orange hair. "But, now that he's...gone…" her voice trembled on the words, but she continued. "I don't know. I think domestic life never really suited me. I kind of want to live for myself, for a change."
Bucky nodded, forcing down the lump in his throat before taking a sip of coffee.
Y/n smoothed her hands along the sides of her mug, her brow furrowed as she stared at the black liquid.
"His funeral is Tuesday," she sniffed. "I didn't really have any expenses here, so I've got some money saved. I thought, why not just get away for awhile, ya know?"
Bucky set his cup down and took a step toward her. Her breath hitched, though she didn't look at him. Carefully he tugged the mug from her hands and placed it beside his.
"Well, I'm glad," he smirked, placing his hands on her shoulders and squeezing gently. "Cause you and cats? That's just not right."
Y/n giggled, the sound oddly strangled around the sudden resurgence of tears.
"C'mere," he sighed, wrapping his arms around her and tucking her head under his chin. She breathed deeply, hugging him closer and fisting her hands in the back of his shirt.
This time when she pulled back, she kept hold of him, but her face twisted in confusion.
"Wait, did you say you wanted a haircut?!" Her voice bordered on incredulous.
Bucky shrugged one shoulder. "Thought it might be time for a change. 'Sides, you said you wanted to get your hands on it."
Y/n gaped at him and reached up to run her fingers through his chestnut locks. The feel of her nails against his scalp forced his eyes closed and he hummed lightly.
She tugged on one strand, not enough to hurt but enough to get his attention. When his eyes opened again, the soft look on her face startled him. Her hand dropped to the curve of his jaw, her thumb brushing gently against the bristles peppering his cheek.
"Maybe a trim, but there's no way I could deprive the world of this hair, Buck. That would be a travesty." She blushed. "I only wanted an excuse to run my fingers through it."
Without giving himself a chance to back out, Bucky dipped his head and kissed her. Her lips were warm and she sighed, pressing herself closer to him. His tongue licked across her lip as his nose brushed hers. He pulled back, tugging her bottom lip gently between his before sucking in a steadying breath.
She smiled, pressing her forehead against his. "About time."
Bucky chuckled, pecking her lips twice as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Come with me."
Her voice was so low, he wondered for a moment if he'd imagined it, but her gaze was pleading.
"Y/n," he sighed. "I don't know if that's a good idea."
Defeat, exhaustion, embarrassment and rejection played across her face as she nodded, her hands dropping at her sides.
"Sorry," she breathed, turning away from him.
Bucky caught her elbow and turned her back to face him.
"It's not because I don't want to, because God knows I do," he bit down on his lip, clenching his eyes shut in preparation for what came next. "There's just things about me that you don't know. Things I don't want you to know, because seeing disappointment in your eyes might actually kill me."
Her hand cupped his cheek, thumb tracing the edge of his mouth before gently tugging his lip from between his teeth. His eyes found hers again and his heart stammered at the tenderness there.
"Bucky, I don't have to know everything about who you used to be to know you are a good man. I could never be disappointed in you."
Her words lifted a small part of the weight he'd carried from the East coast, though he figured the bulk of it would likely remain with him forever.
"When I left New York, I didn't know exactly where I was going. I just headed west, kept moving, until I got here. This just felt right, somehow. I don't know why I stopped here, y/n. I needed someone I could trust, but it felt impossible. I felt like all I would ever do was sink under the weight of what I left behind." He smoothed a hand through her hair, watching the way the light danced over the brightly colored strands. "But then I met you and, I know I don't deserve it, and I'll never be worthy enough, but you make me want to try. Try to be better, try to be a good man."
She frowned at him then, and confusion jumbled his thoughts and burned his eyes.
"You don't have to try, Bucky. You are." She smiled. "And I already told you. You'll never sink when you're with me."
Bucky kissed her, this time with a fierceness. Her tongue meet his eagerly and once again he found himself sinking, but this time in all the best ways.
He pulled back, his lips swollen and his lungs aching for air.
"Come with me, Bucky." She plead again, her voice was rough and he knew he'd lost any willpower he'd once had to her.
He nodded and she rewarded him with the sweetest smile he'd ever known. Once again he found himself dumbstruck.
Curling her fingers with his, she tugged him out of the kitchen - away their already forgotten mismatched mugs half-full of warm coffee - and led him to the sofa. He sat down, pulling her onto his lap and resting his chin against her hair.
A comfortable silence fell between them as he stroked her back and breathed in the scent of her. If he could bottle up a moment in time to save forever, this would be it. He'd never felt such peace and while he struggled to accept his worthiness of such a feeling, knowing she trusted him meant the world.
She sniffed, pulling back to look into his eyes, and the sorrow he saw etched into her face was palpable.
"Would you stay the night?" Her lip quivered as she tried and failed to blink back tears. "I - uh- I don't want to be alone."
Bucky pecked her lips, brushing away the wetness trailing her cheeks. "Sweetheart, you don't have to be alone, ever again."
----
Like what you see? Want more? My Masterlist is here. Thanks for reading! :)
This Chapter: Your table breaks, someone dies and a stranger makes you see white.
Word Count: 1.1k
A/N: This is for @chillingbucky and @revengingbarnes‘ fic wars! My partner is @aryastarss for this one. This is definitely not my best work and I was in a bit of a rush, but I promise the next chapter I’ll write is gonna be a lot better xD I hope this is alright, though. For the next chapter, go over to @aryastarss and keep your eyes peeled!
God dammit.
God. freaking. dammit.
Of course, your desk had to break down. Of course, your desk had to break down on a Sunday at three thirty in the damn morning and of course, your apartment was void of anything close to a hammer and nails. It was a miracle that you’d gotten around for so long without tools anyway since you weren’t exactly the most dexterous of people, but the universe couldn’t have picked a worse moment to destroy your favorite place to work at.
You pushed out a sigh as you made your way down the street, clutching your phone and your wallet to your chest. Every time you passed a dark alleyway, you threw a glance over your shoulder and uneasiness lay heavily in your stomach. If it was avoidable, you never wandered around in Brooklyn alone after dark. But alas, you needed to fix your desk and since it was Sunday, the convenience store you were headed to was your last opportunity to fix it quickly. And that store would be closing in less than half an hour.
Walking past another narrow, pitch black alleyway, your steps sped up and you proceeded to walk down the street swiftly. The street lanterns cast an eerie, orange glow over the concrete, still damp from the earlier rain and threw elongated shadows in your path. You tried your hardest not to imagine the shadows being anything but bushes and branches and fire hydrants but you still couldn’t prevent the shiver from running up your spine. You pulled your jacket tighter around your body.
The first thing that came to mind when you arrived at the store was that you would be lucky if they had any sort of tools at all. It looked terrifyingly tiny from the outside. A little flickering neon sign on the door signaled you that you hadn’t arrived too late yet, so you stepped up the two little steps to the door and pushed it open.
Right upon entering, you realized the inside of the store was just like the outside; tiny. There were two small aisles that were just broad enough for one person at a time to walk through, one shelve in the middle and more along the walls, stuffed to the brim with products. Despite the small room, there sure as heck wasn’t a shortage of offers.
You felt a lot better about finding what you needed now then you did before entering.
Aside from yourself, there were three more people in the store. An, by the look of it, eighty-year-old cashier who was leaning against the cash desk and yawning, a younger woman who stood close to the entrance and was apparently deciding on a new lighter and a man who stood with his back turned to you. You gave the cashier a small smile as you walked past him, but he appeared to be too busy trying not to fall asleep to notice it.
When you tried squeezing past the woman, you realized that these aisles truly weren’t made for more than one person. Great to prevent shoplifters from running off, but not the best when you’re trying not to touch a strange woman too unnecessarily. You muttered an apology and she simply shuffled forward awkwardly and kept her gaze on her lighters. Throwing glances from left to right, you searched for the hammer and the nails.
You got closer to the man at the back. You were still focused on looking for the tools, but when he moved and turned to the side a bit, your gaze stayed on him. His chestnut brown, shoulder length hair fell in front of his face like a curtain and concealed his face from your view. A black leather jacket stretched over his broad shoulders and over his muscled arms, and you would’ve found him extremely intimidating if it wasn’t for the mountain of flour bags in his arms. You slightly furrowed your brows as you caught sight of them. Who on earth buys so much flour at almost four in the morning?
You were still walking closer towards him and before you knew it, you stood right in front of him. The man obviously heard you coming closer, but he kept himself occupied with the flour bags, fiddling around with the paper. You halted in front of him, clearing your throat. “I’m sorry, could I maybe...” your voice trailed off and you gestured past the man. As soon as the words had left your mouth, he turned his face towards you. Your breath almost caught in your throat and your eyes widened imperceptibly. You were met with the most astonishing blue eyes, a shade you’d never seen before. A sharp jawline and cheekbones that could cut diamonds, plump rosy lips that slowly pulled into an apologetic smile. “Of course, sorry,” he said, with a voice so incredibly soft that you were convinced if silk had a sound, this would be it. Almost as soon as he’d finished speaking, you longed to hear more.
The man with the silky voice cleared his voice and ripped you out of your thoughts. That’s when you noticed that you’d been staring. How rude. A blush spread over your cheeks and you quickly lowered your gaze. You started walking past the man, but you hadn’t even taken two steps before a loud clanging sound caused you to flinch. Then, a dull thump followed. And after that, someone screamed.
You whirled around to go look for the source of the sound. Instead of finding it, you collided with a wall of muscle and flour bags. The impact causes the man to stumble backward, the bags slipping in his hands. The one on top threatens to fall to the floor and when you see it slipping out of his arms, your eyes widen. Both of you reach for it at the same time, gripping the bag tightly. The relief after catching the bag didn’t last long, though, no, instead of being able to hand it back to the man, the bag explodes in a powdery cloud. In a matter of seconds, you were coated in white.
You blinked at the man dumbly, mouth agape. He looked at you the same, before looking down to the open, now half empty flour bag. “Oh my- I’m so-” he starts. Another scream catches your attention again and you turn away from the man to see the cashier lying on the ground and the woman who’d been at the lighters earlier stood there, a hand clasped over her mouth. You gasped. “We have to call an ambulance.”
Rushing forward towards the cashier, you fumble for your phone, the man hot on your heels.
