i am probably not going to take a very active part in ffxivwrite this year for a lot of personal reasons (i'm not going to stop writing ffxiv fic, i've just been busy and dealing with ongoing health problems this year) so instead i am linking my older works here for anyone who wishes to read them!
a lot of things in my writing and my longfic plans have changed from when i wrote some of these, but ffxivwrite has always made for very good writing exercises and has even helped me solidify backstory for my WoL, so i've left them up to that end.
collection 1, sept 2019: tales of radiance
collection 2, sept 2020: above the tide of hours
collection 3, sept 2021: the cold heavens (still in progress as this was written while i was actively in the middle of moving out of texas ;; but tbh this collection has some of my personal favorites so i'm very fond of it still!)
collection 4, sept 2022: my tale again for me shall sing (largely wol-centric backstory)
The late summer air in Mor Dhona lacked the warmth of Ul'dah or the temperate mugginess of the Shroud but here at the edge of Silvertear Lake there was a soft, cool breeze, whispering in her hair like a mother's touch. The sun had set a good two bells past; stars twinkled in a clear sky and she could see the black outlines of trees and branches. Past that, the serenely glowing sentinel that was the Crystal Tower, a great monument reaching for the heavens.
The place where - for her, at least, in many ways - her journey had truly started.
Aurelia bent over with a soft grunt to pick up one of the stones that lay scattered amongst the shards of crystal - not from the tower or even the Calamity but the ill-fated maiden journey of the Agrius - and tested its heft in her palm. It was a goodly weight, not so heavy as to sink into the water but not too light to skip across its surface in pleasing ripples.
She perched upon a nearby outcropping of rock lying not far from a rusting chunk of steel hull, drew back her hand, and tossed the stone with a neat snapping motion. It skipped three times, four, five, before it submerged: swallowed by the dark waters around the wreckage of the dreadnought and the skeleton still wrapped about its length.
"Neatly done," called a familiar voice at her back. Aurelia smiled over her shoulder at its owner: a tall, lanky man wearing a long and leather-chased linen longcoat, the hem dusty and somewhat the worse for wear these days. The moon's watery illumination dappled patches of silver against his flaxen hair.
"Fancy meeting you here," she said. "I hope you haven't been looking for me too long."
"No." He sauntered down to the water's edge, hands in his pockets. "Mistress Tataru told me you'd gone for a walk to get some air. I thought you might be headed this direction."
"Good guess." Aurelia patted the empty space on her right. "Care to join me, Scaeva?"
"In your rock-tossing?"
"I'd hoped you might keep me company but I'll skip stones with you too, if you're willing."
"Right. One moment."
She braced her hands against the rock's surface and let herself relax, watching him pick among the crystal and sand much as she had done moments ago, and cast her eyes up to the twinkling lights in the sky. What was it Meteion had told her, back in the wastes of Ultima Thule-- the shine of those stars came from dead worlds, civilizations gone thousands upon thousands of years, centuries even, before their light had reached Etheirys... but some of those worlds might yet bloom with life once more.
Perhaps Meteion - armed now with fresh purpose - would find joy in her discoveries.
A tap on her shoulder. She opened her eyes to see Nero seated alongside her, holding out a handful of skipping stones with a faintly quizzical expression. "I'm all right," she reassured him. "Just thinking."
"About the...?"
He gestured, somewhat comically, in the vague direction of her stomach. Aurelia grinned at him and shook her head.
"I'm not nearly far enough along to start fretting about that - just a little tired here and there. Why? You're not worried something might happen while we're on the road, are you?"
A year ago, his pause might have worried her. Now she understood it came neither from hesitation nor a refusal to answer. She could tell by the tilt of his chin that he was simply mulling over her question and deciding how best to respond to it.
"...At the moment," he replied at length, "I think my answer is 'not particularly'. Does that satisfy you?"
"Aye, it does." Aurelia reached for his knee- bony as ever despite all that muscle of his- and gave it an affectionate squeeze. His left hand settled over hers in the same moment that his right cast a stone out across the water. Six skips.
She gave a low whistle. "You're better at this than I am."
"Am I?"
"I only managed five."
"The night is young and you've still got plenty of stones yet," he pointed out. She laughed, hefted another rock with her left hand this time, and threw. Four skips.
"So," Nero said as they both watched the water's surface tension flex and ripple. "What are you thinking about?"
Aurelia shrugged. "It really wasn't anything momentous," she said. "I was thinking about a question someone asked me. If I had enjoyed the life I've led thus far."
She thought he might laugh it off, make some wisecrack, bring a touch of levity to the discussion. Instead Nero only looked at her, turning another stone between his fingers, but not throwing.
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"What did you say to them?"
Aurelia looked down at his large, warm palm where it enveloped hers, still resting on his knee. "To be honest... I couldn't really give them a satisfactory response at the time," she admitted. "That's not the sort of question with a 'yes' or 'no' answer, you know?"
"Everyone has a different... threshold? I suppose?"
"Well, yes, but so much of that answer depends upon where you are." She held up another stone, studying the small fissures and veins in the weak light, "It would be like stopping a traveler on the road to Ul'dah, or somewhere, and asking them if they were having a good trip. If you're just starting out, if you've had something good happen or something bad happen or you're tired or you're excited or really any old thing."
"Right."
He threw. The stone skipped. Six.
"I've had a bit more time to reflect upon it," she continued, "and I think... I think life is about moving forward. Or trying to, anyway."
"Unfortunately I know plenty of people who would argue that point - not that I'd take their opinions much under advisement."
"What I mean is... think about when you first came to Eorzea. Knowing what you know now, would you have rather stayed the course? Contented yourself with whatever research projects they allowed you to touch-"
"Yes, yes, I take your point. You're asking if I regret my decision to accept my losses, start anew, et cetera and no. I don't. Not even a little bit these days. The things I care about now are here."
"Well, that's a very sweet-"
"Lucrative contracts."
She scoffed. "Pillock."
"Caught you out."
"Because you were saving that one."
Nero didn't miss a beat. "Like a fine Dalmascan vintage."
"Awful man. I ask a serious question-"
"Well, you didn't let me finish, did you? What I have now, and I've no intention of giving up, is freedom. I can pursue any project I like. Go anywhere I wish."
"Friends," she pointed out. "You have those now."
"Aye. And Garlond." He paused, lips stretching in a slight rictus. "...Do me a solid, sweetling, don't tell him I said that. He's a big enough bloody head right now as it is what with me deciding to become a full-time engineer with his company. I'd never hear the end of it if he knew the truth."
Aurelia managed to keep a straight face. Only just.
"My lips are sealed."
"You're on that list of mine too, just so you know." Nero nudged her with a full-body lean until she leaned back with a soft chuckle. "But judging by that question I don't imagine you have many regrets yourself."
"No," she answered without hesitation. "Had I stayed I'd have... well, it's hardly worth musing upon now. But that's what I meant by asking. People don't ever really stay in one place. Not in my experience."
A glance at Nero's face showed a distant expression, eyes as far away as the light of the stars in the rift above.
"Good old Varis would have had me making more and more elaborate weapons until I was no longer of use-- or until that entire miserable house of cards finally collapsed beneath its own weight, as we saw. I'll not pretend it didn't take losing everything to have that moment of self-reflection, but for what it's worth I think we're of one mind. I don't believe it's in man's nature to stagnate, and that isn't a bad thing." He removed his hand from hers and stretched, biting back a small yawn. "It's certainly not in mine."
Aurelia smiled. "It never has been."
"Your turn."
"What?"
"You've still got one stone left."
"Hmm."
The light of Syrcus' massive spire caught her eye once more and the question resurfaced, like a stone washing up on the shore of an ancient lake.
And have you enjoyed your journey? Has it been good?
Tell me, my mirror. The life you chose-- did it bring you fulfillment?
Two different people in two wildly different contexts, one fundamentally identical question.
Was there one single answer? She still didn’t know.
I thought about giving up more than once. But I didn't. I set my feet forward, one before the other, even through the worst of it, and followed the road where it led me. I made choices, good and bad. I learned how to live with my mistakes and grow from them. I learned what love is, and I learned how to accept it. And I'm still learning.
They sat in uncharted territory now. The ancients were gone along with their grand dreams and terrible dooms, and with them Zodiark and Hydaelyn alike: the final vestiges of that long-bygone age. Silvertear Lake was just a lake now (though she didn't doubt it would see Midgardsormr's renewal eventually). Etheirys - their star - was just a star. One of the countless many spinning through the vast expanse.
Take your new life and live it, her mother still whispered.
Life was about moving forward. Even in this moment, they were only passing through to the next.
The breeze had returned, ruffling her hair. Aurelia shut her eyes for a long moment, reveling in it, before she opened them again. It was a beautiful clear night in the best company she could think of, the future stretched before them as a long and unknown road, and her only goal was to find whatever might lie over the next horizon.
Yes, she decided. The journey has been good.
Aurelia cast the final stone and watched as it sailed in seven smooth skips across the water.
"...Suppose we'll call it a draw," Nero said.
She slipped her arm about her companion's waist with a laugh. Together, the two adventurers turned their gaze to the heavens. The sea of stars wound a path around the tower and beyond like an uncharted path all its own.
It was the small hours of the morning, the coverlet and sheets at his side were rumpled and thrown back, and the bed was cold. Swiping at his eyes with a hand rendered clumsy from deep sleep, Cid squinted at the digital chronometer Nero had insisted on tossing in the pack for their long trip to Sharlayan until his vision had adjusted to the lights.
0530. He bit back a sigh. Nero was a night owl at the best of times but the man only ever eschewed sleep altogether when there was something weighing on his mind.
Cid considered letting it lie and catching another bell or so of sleep before deciding against it.
Stifling a deep yawn, he pushed himself from his elbows to a seated position and - with more than a little reluctance - kicked the quilt back to free his feet. Mistress Krile had given the senior Ironworks engineers use of the Students of Baldesion's semi-private sleeping quarters during their stay in Sharlayan, and the beds were remarkably comfortable even if the collegiate bunks were somewhat more austere than they'd hoped.
He dressed quickly. Like the surrounding air the marble floor was cold and slightly damp, owing no doubt to Sharlayan's wet northern climate. Cid grimaced at the brief shock of that chill against his bare feet but decided not to bother with the nearby house shoes hastily procured for him. He'd experienced far worse over the years, and he'd be used to the chill by the time he reached the door where his well-worn workboots waited for him.
Shoving his feet into stockings and then the boots, Cid glimpsed out of the corner of one eye through the dorm window that thin silver-grey line like starlight just on the edge of a blue so dark it was nearly black. A sure sign that dawn was imminent, and a sight he had seen countless times before himself having burned his own share of midnight oil over the years.
Somehow it all seemed strangely... still. The star turned as it had ever done even in the face of this latest crisis, yet the morning felt frozen in this one elastic moment that stretched and folded in on itself as if the world were holding its breath. And mayhap it is, he thought. He could feel his own anxiety driving his early morning restlessness, an invisible beast gnawing at the bars of its cage.
Warm light shimmered beneath the door. Cid paused, letting out a soft breath of relief.
When he pushed the door open he saw precisely what he had expected. Nero sat hunched over the unmanned lobby counter on a stool not meant for a man his size in a position that surely could not be comfortable, a decidedly rumpled-looking and half-opened linen undershirt draped over his wiry frame and a set of goldsmith's spectacles slipping down the bridge of his nose. He seemed heedless of the curling forelocks that drooped over his brow as he squinted at the object of his focus and muttered something under his breath.
Cid half-thought his approach had gone unnoticed until Nero spoke without even a wayward glance in his direction.
"You're up early."
"Looking for you. You haven't stayed up all night, have you?"
A listless lift and drop of the shoulders. "What time is it?"
"Half five. I saw you were gone- what are you doing?"
"Not your business, Garlond," and this time he could hear it: the telltale irritation threading itself through Nero's voice that indicated the other engineer had worked himself into a spate of ill temper. Cid crossed his arms and leaned against the threshold of the open door.
"Something's clearly bothering you."
"You are bothering me. I'm trying to concentrate."
"Well, you might as well take a break. I'm not leaving before you talk to me."
Finally, Nero set down the tool he held in his left hand - placed with notable care upon the varnished wood - and uttered an exasperated sigh. "As I've no doubt you intend to nag me incessantly about it, fine. Yes. I'm worried. As anyone with a modicum of sense should be."
"You're worried about Aurelia. You could have said as much."
"No. I couldn't. And this is precisely why."
"Nero-"
"You insist upon making a production of it every time my nose is even slightly out of joint. I merely decided to work on a personal project because I see no point in sitting about twiddling my thumbs. If I am forced to be useless, I might as well be productive."
"Let me finish. I understand. I do. But Aurelia is more than capable of handling herself."
Nero only afforded him a steady glare, mouth set in a grim and unyielding line of displeasure. "That Baldesion woman sent Zenos after her," he said flatly. "Were you aware?"
Cid froze. He didn't know that. After the Ragnarok's signal was lost he'd remained in the bowels of Labyrinthos to consult with Fourchenault Leveilleur and the Forum's engineers.
"Zenos yae Galvus?"
"No, Garlond, Zenos the florist who sells lilies down by the bloody harbor. Yes, Zenos yae Galvus. It's 'viator' now, by the by." Nero's fingers drummed against the countertop with an urgency anyone else would assume to be impatience but Cid knew full well was sheer nervous energy. "So, now that I've given you your answer, I trust you'll leave me be."
Zenos. Cid felt his stomach clench unpleasantly and his mouth seemed to have turned into its own personal wasteland in a span of mere seconds, but after a deep breath of his own he managed to reply, "I can't imagine that Mistress Krile of all people would have done such a thing without any regard for Aurelia's safety. Surely she had her reasons."
"Reasons which she has not seen fit to explain to anyone. Not that it matters. I doubt I would find them satisfactory."
Nero had picked up the tools again as he spoke, and when no response was forthcoming from Cid, returned to his work. His posture was even worse than it had been before, with so much muscular tension to fold his lanky body even farther in on itself, but he had regained his focus on- whatever it was he was doing.
"Will you at least tell me about your project?" Cid asked him.
"No."
"All right, I'll bite. Is there some reason you're being so closemouthed about it?" Nero set down the small hammer, this time opting for a set of thin and delicate-looking pincers. "You realize the toolkit we brought along has-"
"No. This is a matter of personal importance to me, Garlond. I refuse to cut corners for convenience's sake, and work which requires my full attention is a welcome distraction at present." After a moment, he added, somewhat grudgingly: "...That said, I appreciate the thought."
That was a downright amiable response coming from Nero Scaeva, especially given his foul mood, but watching the man's hunched shoulders Cid understood that he wasn't going to get anything more out of him. He shrugged, then ran a hand through his hair. He'd see to a proper brushing once he was a bit more awake. "The Last Stand opens in a half bell," he said. "Might as well break our fast. Do you want me to bring you anything?"
"Coffee. Black." A brief pause. "One of those chocolate eclairs, if they have any."
He hid his answering smile. Nero probably wasn't in the mood to be teased about his sweet tooth.
"I'll be back."
The door snicked shut. One beat passed, then another, and at last a quiet sigh echoed through the half-lit room. With another glance at the door, reassured that he was alone, Nero adjusted the magnifying lens over his left eye. The enhanced view would allow him to place the sapphire into its setting without any unfortunate incidents.
Carefully he lifted the pincers. The stone's tiny facets caught the lamplight with each minute tremor of his hand. They flickered in prismatic shimmers like sunlight dancing over sea waves.
"You'll find out what it is after she's seen it, Garlond," he said aloud, "and not a moment sooner."
Resolute, fear shunted securely into the back of his mind where it would no longer be so troublesome, Nero returned to the task at hand. With any luck he'd finish restoring the ring before her return.
