alright but...and even if that gets me hate, try very hard NOT to think about the fact that Bellamy's whole life has been a lot about being left behind, starting from when Aurora passed out and left Octavia in his arms for him to take care of; he had that responsibility, the one to take care of a child;
then when Clarke left, and again she did it because she had to, she believed this was for the best, he was left taking care of the delinquents; she asked him so 'Take care of them for me';
then after season four when she talked to him and told him he had to use his head too, not just his heart, so they could survive, because she probably wasn't making it, he was left with the responsibility of skaikru too while her and his sister stayed behind!
And God...does that break my heart; That his mother left him with the responsibility of his sister, then that his sister wanted to leave to just have her own life, that the woman he loved, truly loved and considered someone he could always tell everything to, left with the rest of the kids he tried so hard to save, then left because of time that they couldn't make up and he had to be gone;
and that is why it hurts him-that he had to leave her too'; that's why he is so heartbroken' because he knows what THAT leaving means and how it ruins you; he understands and he does so perfectly; and it hurts; GOD IT HURTS!!!!
bellamy and octavia’s childhood is my roman empire: the games he made up to distract her, the way she grew more and more desperate to get out and the guilt she must have felt when she finally did, the hunger that grew with having to split rations and the way bellamy probably gave her the most and went without, octavia’s own mother trying to kill her to save herself and maybe also to save her daughter from years of suffering just to die anyway, the hate they were taught to swallow down and the different ways they dealt with their rage once on the ground.
bellamy who was used to receiving affection and love growing up, both by his mom and sister, then in one night losing both of them…….excuse me I gotta go cry a little bit
Bellamy's First Family, Though Certainly Not His Last
Day 1: Bellamy + Home/Family
Bellamy’s first family, though definitely not his last.
It’s been a long day, and all Bellamy wants to do is fall into bed, but one of the guards his mom has a relationship with is waiting for him when he gets out of school.
“Your mom wants you to go to her office immediately. I’ll walk you there.”
“I can get there on my own,” Bellamy responds, his shoulders hunching.
“I’m supposed to walk you there, make sure that you don’t wander off, or take any detours.”
“Fine.”
The man grabs Bellamy’s shoulder, keeping his hand there the entire walk. Aurora is standing outside of the door when they get there.
“Thank you for bringing Bellamy with you,” she says, giving the man a sly smile.
Bellamy looks down, trying not to roll his eyes. After the man walks away, Bellamy turns to Aurora.
“What’s with all of the theatrics, Mom?”
“I just wanted to make sure that you got home on time, and I was watching Octavia,” Aurora says, smiling at Bellamy.
Bellamy smiles back, and grabs Bellamy’s hand. She opens the door to show the room covered in streamers. There are bright pink, blue, and green streamers with a little sign taped to the wall. It’s just a piece of paper with the words Happy Birthday Bellamy written on them. Octavia is standing in the middle of the room, grinning. Aurora pulls Bellamy in, closing the door behind them. Bellamy just looks between Aurora and Octavia with wide eyes.
“What’s this?”
“Well, I know you were sick for your birthday the other day, so we decided to decorate now that you’re feeling better,” Aurora says, rubbing up and down Bellamy’s arms comfortingly.
Bellamy smiles as Octavia runs over to hug him.
“Happy birthday, Bell.”
“Thanks. Thanks, Mom. This is great. I didn’t even realize that I missed it.”
“Well, you were pretty out of it,” Aurora replies, her smile fading just a bit.
“Yeah, I know.”
“I also got you a new book since I figured that was what you would want to do this afternoon.” Aurora holds out a battered paperback book, which Bellamy takes with a grin.
“This is great. Do you want to read with me, O?”
Octavia nods, still clinging to Bellamy’s arm. Bellamy sits down, and pulls Octavia into his lap. He opens the book, and after one last smile towards his mother, he starts reading out loud. That’s how they spend a lot of the afternoon, snuggled up together, reading. Aurora leaves for a bit, but comes back with food.
“Come on, you two. You can keep reading more after dinner, but we have to eat.”
Octavia stands up, and they both join Aurora at her desk. Aurora talks while they eat, telling them what she’s been working on. Bellamy happily listens to the sound of his mother’s voice, which is lighter than it has been in a while. It brings a smile to his face even once they’re done eating.
“Ok, I have a few people I have to talk to, but you guys can stay here. It’s late, so Octavia, you should get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning, my darling. Also, happy late birthday, Bellamy. I love you.”
“I love you too, Mom.”
After Aurora leaves, Bellamy turns to Octavia.
“Don’t read the rest of it without me.”
“I won’t. In fact, I’m tired, so I think I’ll go ahead and get some sleep too.”
Octavia grins, and they start getting ready for bed. Bellamy climbs into bed first, and Octavia climbs practically on top of him. She snuggles against his chest with a content sigh. Bellamy wraps an arm around her, closing his eyes.
The sound of her alarm has Abby grumbling as her mind shifts from asleep to awake. Callie's arm around her waist tightens slightly when she goes to move, and Abby manages a soft smile as she turns and presses her lips to Cece's before finally untangling their limbs and getting up. “You're not even on shift today, Abby,” Cece mumbles, making Abby chuckle softly.
“That's why I'm using today to look at the nightblood,” she tells her friend—or is it girlfriend at this point?—as she pulls a shirt over her head.
“You can't sleep in?”
“Not if I want to use the lab before the shift changes,” she replies simply. Another soft chuckle escapes her when she hears Cece grumble something unintelligible. “Are you coming to dinner on Mecha tonight?” Abby asks, now perching on the edge of the bed to put her socks on.
“Mhmm,” Cece's quiet hum of agreement makes her roll her eyes fondly.
— Chapter 51 of Taim kom hod in au te kos(when love becomes the reason)
