Is it just me, or does socializing make you feel empty too?
I game as a way to socialize, because sometimes meeting up with people in real life requires too much physical energy that I don't often have, due to the fact I live with a illness that snaps my strength.
I just got off of a two hour discord session with some friends and I feel sad, empty and alone. We were laughing and joking the whole time so it's not like it was a depressing chat.
I'm genuinely happy being alone, but for some reason spending time with people makes me unhappy. And no, it's not because they make me see how lonely I am, because its not that. I don't need people in my life, and often I don't want them there. I find people confusing, frustrating and very irritating.
My life alone is very full, I get to do what I want, when I want and that makes me happy, I also get a lot of chances to help people to keep me from becoming a selfish bastard.
So what is it then? I honestly don't know. I'll let you know when this autistic brain figures it out.