Autocosm: Finding Plurality Through Me, Myself, and My Other Selves
by Sivaan of Candlekeep
Blurb: A personal essay that discusses my discoveries on my plurality, particularly through my headmates who’re alternate versions of me from parallel lives.
I’ve considered writing about this during my run of the Alterhuman Writing Challenge, but I forgot to do so after going off the beaten path. The beaten path being my own list of prompts, funny enough. Since we’re growing more accustomed to each other, I’ve decided that it’s time to re-introduce myself… and my other selves.
While looking into communal resources, I’ve been easing into the reality that I am plural. I’m specifically a part of an autocosm, which is a network of selves who share the same soul or self-awareness across various realms and worlds. With me are three aliens, two people who should be dead but aren't, a sharpshooting demigod, a flying horse, and an anti-capitalist spacefarer. Each took root within my fictionhood. They are also my headmates.
So far, there’s nine of us:
Ade, a zonai
Solai, a Roman half-blood
Quinn, an undead plush amalgam
Ink, a monster without a canon who took up being a wandering, interdimensional creative
Calvin or “Cap”, a human mutant who pilots The Unreliable
“Bea” or The Beyonder, a reality-warping cosmic entity
Makame, a dream traveler from Phantomile
The Grassland Hunter, a yautja who also goes by their cultural name Sa’ya’la
And of course— yours truly, who is a whole lot of things, including everyone listed above.
Most of my headmates are versions of me from parallel lives. The only cases where this isn’t applicable are Quinn and Sa’ya’la. Rather than be one of my parallel lives, Quinn is a sentient copinglink. Sa’ya’la, on the other hand, is a sentient fictionflicker. Yet, since I still identify as them (or at least the concept of them), they are counted among us.
Not every fictomere is a part of our autocosm, though. I may harbor the memories and thoughts of other versions of me, but not all of them connect with the autocosm. I suspect some don’t even know that we exist.
Furthermore, I know for certain that none of my core identities are potential headmates. Those identities exclusively belong to me, as in the me who is writing this and goes by Sivaan. While we agreed on “autocosmic” as a descriptor, the terminology surrounding autocosm (the noun) tripped me up since I would technically fall in between being a metasoul and a lunan.
For autocosms, a metasoul is the central self that connects us all. In simpler terms, it is our point of origin. A lunan is an individual whose existence stems from the metasoul and shares a sense of selfhood with both the metasoul and others connected to it.
In our case, the metasoul is one of my core species: the gold dragonne. Since we’re parallel lives of the gold dragonne, or me, *dragonsight informs us of each other. Even so, I feel like I’m neither the “center” of our group nor a fragment of myself in the way that my headmates are. The metasoul is one of my core species, but I’m not always that species. It’s an awkward spot that makes me feel a little alienated from the proposed framework of an autocosm. Because of this, we also agreed to avoid using those terms when describing our connection to each other.
*In Dungeons & Dragons, dragonsight is a dragon’s ability to perceive alternate versions of itself from different realities.
Besides autocosmic identity, our experience is closest to a gateway system. I’d say it’s the main label for our plurality, whereas autocosm specifically refers to those of us are, well, me. My selves can depart to and fro from their realms. I’ve had soulbonds who’ve done the same. Early into my personal explorations, I recall referring to the body as a vessel of sorts. Around then, it was in regards to the fact that much of our memories and noemata seemed to pour into this body. However, that was solely from my perspective. In retrospect, it’s possible that this body is a vessel in the literal sense in which it serves as a waypoint between my headmates’ world(s) and our headspace.
There are members who don’t leave, though. Ade and Quinn stick around since they theoretically should be dead in their worlds. On the flip side, the only member who doesn’t leave their realm is Cap. He’s the leader of a whole space crew, so he rarely stops by in our inner world. Instead, he talks to me and whoever else is present through his radio. For a connection so far away, his alternative is surprisingly efficient.
It’s not just us here, either. We’re accompanied by habitans, which is the only autocosm-based term we use. A habitan simply means someone who isn’t one of us. They aren’t someone or something I identify as nor are they a parallel life that I have. Nonetheless, they still live alongside the autocosm.
How habitans exist in our headspace can differ. For example: there’s my dæmon, Maxwell. As a dæ, Max is a thoughtform segmented from my subconscious. He takes the form of a raggiana bird-of-paradise; previously, he was a rainbow boa. His position as a habitan isn’t the same as say, Rina and Hachi, who both entered our headspace as accidental soulbonds. Since many of our daytrippers have left permanently to attend to their own matters, we have a total of four habitans. Our Scrivener Construct is the fourth and final habitan of our collective thus far.
Regarding those of us within the autocosm, we don’t have roles. Although Quinn, Ade, and Bea motioned in favor of having roles and offered to take up roles of their own, we came to the conclusion that collectively establishing roles would be inconsiderate of our selves who’re more active within their own realms. Ultimately, if someone wanted to perform a specific duty within our headspace, then they’re free to do so on their own accord. However, no one is required to do the same.
Recently, Quinn took up the role of being our protector. Although he has a rough history with guarding, he decided to take up this role anyway because he was actually given a choice unlike his past experiences.
Despite being such a wild card, Bea took up the role of a protector as well. While Quinn protects the interior of our headspace, Bea oversees travel to and fro from the headspace, making sure folks reach their destinations safely. They also keep an eye out for any beings from outside of our collective, allowing or denying access to the headspace if need be. No one gets in and out without Bea knowing. Makes sense since The Beyonder, in-source or otherwise, is as far-reaching as it gets, metaphysically speaking. I guess that’d also make them a gatekeeper, but they’re admittedly not fond of that title.
In Ade’s case, he took up the role of being our internal self helper. He helps me keep in touch with everyone and support the structure of our inner world. He and I often share this role by comparing notes and conversing extensively on what we know so far. Scrivener assists us from time to time too. Based on my suspicions last year, there were already signs of them doing that before I came to terms with being plural.
As for me, you could kind of say I’m the “host” since I’m the main one operating the body. To be fair, it’s not exactly a job anyone else wants. Last year, I once thought I stress-shifted into a zonai at my job. However, according to Ade, that “stress shift” was actually him fronting for the first time. It at least explained why “I” suddenly didn’t know how to work the machinery at my job. That’s because Ade’s never worked with earthen technology before! He’s loathed the idea of fronting ever since.
Rina, Hachi, Quinn and Ink are the ones who’re the most interested in joining me while I front. They're like passengers while I drive the car. However, only Quinn and Solai have expressed interest in co-fronting with me. In Quinn's case, he wants to know what it feels like to have a human body again. In Solai's case, it's because it just wants to see the world again without being bothered by quests or otherworldly interruptions.
Occasionally, Cap will ask me to describe things on my end out of curiosity. Although he’s made peace with his Earth going dark, and the fact that our Earth is different from his Earth, he still misses what he once knew. He likes to hear about the mountains I grew up around and the places I’d visit while in college.
Otherwise, everyone else couldn’t care less. Bea has allegedly seen better and is content with the role they currently have. They don’t care to operate the body, despite matching its appearance internally. Makame and Sa'ya'la are disinterested since they’re already familiar with this world as interdimensional travelers, similar to Beyonder.
That then leaves me. Not much of a role when I hold the position that no one else cares to have. I do appreciate Quinn and Solai’s interest, though. I'll take them up on that in the future.
That’s all we have noted for now. Although I’ve had experiences related to plurality since last year, particularly through dæmonism and soulbonding, the reality of being plural is still new to me. We’re not even bothering with -genic labels since it adds nothing of substance to any of us. Our origin is entirely metaphysical. That’s what matters.
All in all, we’re an autocosmic gateway system. Although we technically could label our experience as median, we stick to autocosmic since its terminology acknowledges headmates who aren’t one of us (i.e. alternate versions of me).
Autocosm: a plural network of selves, each existing in their own dimension/reality/universe, all of which share a soul and/or a sense of "self"-ness with one another. There is a central self, called a metasoul or metaself, from which all other selves, called lunen, are derived from in some way.
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Extended definiton/extra notes:
The metasoul exists in a realm called the soulscape, which functions similarly to a headspace or paracosm, in that it can vary in size, structure, visibility, stability, etc. It can also have different areas or be split into multiple connected realms.
The metasoul's consciousness extends to all lunen, and they are able to sense, feel, and remember everything their lunen do. Metasouls do not do anything equivalent to "fronting" but their presence in the lunan's consciousness, and the lunan's awareness of their presence, can vary. They may or may not be able to communicate outside of the soulscape. Not all lunen know they are a part of an autocosm, but the metasoul is aware of all lunen.
Lunen may or may not be aware of one another and cannot communicate directly. However, there is an inherent connection between all lunen that drives them to become aware of one another, and possibly experience parts of one another's lives in a manner akin to memories. Lunen may be able to communicate with each other in the soulscape, via the metasoul relaying messages, or not at all.
The soulscape can be accessed by lunen through various methods, such as meditation, reality shifting, dreaming, or other altered states of consciousness. The metasoul may also "summon" a lunan to the soulscape, and some lunen may be able to access it without effort or be connected to it at all times.
Beings other than the metasoul may inhabit the soulscape. These are called habitans. Habitans can be of any appearance, personality, or level of sapience. The origins of habitans vary; they can be created by the metasoul, spontaneously form in the soulscape, or originate from somewhere else. Habitans may or may not be considered part of the autocosm. They are not a part of the "self" the autocosm is based on, but they do inhabit it nonetheless. Not all soulscapes have habitans.
Autocosms may have different origins, although a spiritual aspect is inherent due to the concept of souls being integral. This spiritual aspect need not be focused on or considered important to the identity, though, and other aspects (such as psychological) can be present. Lunen also have different origins; they may be created willfully by the metasoul, be split off from them, spontaneously emanate, etc. (Do not use -genic terms unless you also identify as a system, I coined -genesis as an alternative term grouping for non-system alterhuman origins, you can coin those as you see fit).
As the concept mirrors aspects of many other alterhuman and plural identities, it is possible for autocosms to identify with those as well. Autocosms can be systems, lunen can be godshards/othershards, metasouls can be archetropes, soulscapes can be hearthomes, habitans can be thoughtforms, etc. The only identities autocosms incorporate inherently are plural and alterhuman. However, as they are variations of one self, it is common for lunen and metasouls to be kin with one another.
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Oh my stars, this is the most complex term I've ever coined. I'm so happy to finally be able to express my alterhuman identity in a more specific way though, so it was well worth the time and effort! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me, and feel free to message me if you think you might be part of an autocosm. I know that it's a lot lol and I can do an FAQ later if needed. Feel free to repost on pluralpedia, termora or other applicable wikis, just don't change the definition (you can include parts of the extra notes on the wiki page however you want as long as it isn't inaccurate though). I'll be posting flags/defs for lunan, metasoul and habitan soon :3
(Also, I need help with an image description again due to my insistence on a weird flag. Sorry about that, I just don't know how to write descriptions for complex flags in an accessible manner).
Habitan: a being that inhabits an autocosm but is not a part of the self-identity that the autocosm is based on. They do not share a soul or a sense of selfhood with other members. They can be of any appearance, identity, or level of sapience. Habitans usually live in the soulscape, but can also be headmates* of lunen or the metasoul, or even go back and forth. They may fulfill certain roles for the autocosm, or simply inhabit it. Not all autocosms have habitans.
*you don't need to use the term headmate if you prefer simply identifying as autocosmic rather than a system as well, but the concept is functionally identical in this context/example.
(need help with ID since the flag is complex, thank you!)
Metasoul (or Metaself): the central self in an autocosm.
I personally use metasoul and will likely use it by default when discussing autcosms, but the metaself variation is a valid option for those who don't want to emphasize the spiritual aspect of the experience, use a different word than soul, etc.
(yep, need ID help again because of the complex flag).
Lunan: a being in an autocosm that is derived from the metasoul and shares a soul and/or a sense of "selfhood" with the metasoul and other lunen (lunen is plural for lunan).
You can refer to another lunan in your cosm as a lunemate :3
I named lunen after the concept of moons, as I conceptualize lunen as moons orbiting around a planet (the metasoul) sometimes.
Btw despite metasouls existing in a separate realm from lunen, this realm can be like a headspace, so people inhabiting bodies in this reality can be metasouls. Also systems can have autocosms within them for sure! They can even be a subsystem or anything like that.
I'm a lunan, so autocosmic terminology is from a lunan perspective, sorry if that causes any confusion. My metasoul is giving input though, but our communication/connection needs more work before we can communicate with words rather than vague feelings so I'm still speaking from my own context. Remember that you can ask questions or message me about this, I know it's a very complex identity but I really want to find others like me and form a community and have more terms and such
