#auworld

[missannablacklol]

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ʜᴇ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀs ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ. . . ♡[ #hp #tommarvoloriddle #tomriddle #tomhughes #thegame #christiancoulson #harrypotter #harryjamespotter #denielredkliff #tomarry #harrymort #voldemort #griffindor #hogwarts #slytherin #auworld #edit #edits #harrypotteredit #tomarryedit #remember ]♡ https://www.instagram.com/p/B-VGv9Wlnlf/?igshid=c9w5pgbswvo3

[aganstlv-blog]

An agnst love/bittersweet story between Eunbi (sinb)  and yerin. Hwang Eunbi, a normal teenager on the outside yet a troubled psychopath in the making on the inside. Going through hell in earth will she be able to know any other than missery, pain and loneliness?  http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1243121

[millionsbyname]

I could quote this whole episode, the beginning is classic, Cal is such a cheeky little sod to Dylan it’s hilarious. Ethan is seriously embarrassed by his big brother. Cal snoring at Ethan when he answers the question and is all teachers pet and basically eye rolling Lily and Ethan and being generally totally unhelpful and a brat to Dylan.

4.58 -

Dylan: I thought you had a patient that arrested.

Cal: he died. I forgot to give you my holiday request form.

Dylan: Am I allowed to fire people?

Cal: Nooooo

Hahahah love the way he delivers that.

[blazingtheway]

Music is There in the Silence – SL24 – Together

“We don’t need music to dance, put your hands in mine. And let’s make magic.”

•- Embry Call -•

"There's always music if you listen closely enough."

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Nodding my head once slowly. “Hmm… So, I’ve been told.”

•- Embry Call -•

"Sounds like a person you should listen too... Clearly they are full of wisdom... and other stuff."

•- Leah Clearwater -•

“You are clearly giving them too much credit. It’s not wisdom when it’s a fluke. As for the other stuff. Don’t know what you mean.”

•- Embry Call -•

"Oh!! so... they just got lucky? I mean it’s possible... but it's clearly a lesson that stuck with you. After all, a fluke is sort of the epitome of living in the moment, isn't it?"

•- Leah Clearwater -•

“Using big words again, Call.” Rising my eyebrow in that perfect arch.  “Sometimes things... words lock in place, and other times it’s the action that accompanied those words that do. So, who knows which one I retained.”

•- Embry Call -•

“Hey… at least know that even if the Word of the Day toilet paper didn’t last long, its lessons still stuck!” I offered her a smile. “Maybe you both learned from this very sensible advice… seems like a…” I couldn’t positive outcome… not now… or maybe not yet? “Well… you know.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

“Didn’t last long? How much toilet paper do you us—” Shaking my head “you know what. I don’t need to know.”

Rubbing the side of my brow and shaking my head. “Seems like a…” I questioned. “What now the cat got your tongue?

•- Embry Call -•

“A lot of people pass through my house!” I laughed, knowing it was a weak excuse. Of course, she called me out on it. “Two people learning from one another… even just a little… that’s a win… right?”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

“I’m sure I said don’t answer. I don’t need to know.”  Tilting my head to the side, pushing my hands into the pockets of my jacket.

“Hmm… it’s something... not sure if you can class it as a win. Depends on their takeaway from the lessons.”

•- Embry Call -•

“You know TMI was always my style.” I flashed a grin. I tilted my head... mirroring her as I thought about what she said. “I guess that goes for everything in life, really.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Rolling my eyes. “Yeah. I know. It’s not my style. Not when it comes to toilet habits.”

Raising my eyebrow at the way he chose to mirror my stance. “Hmm… didn’t say it didn’t. Just…” shrugging. “It is something to consider.”

•- Embry Call -•

I nodded... "There has been a lot of considering going on lately... I find it's always better with a drink in your hand."

I paused again... "Or a drink in your hand and food in the other."

•- Leah Clearwater -•

“Show me a warrior who would get caught out without a drink and food, and I’ll show you a unicorn.”

Nodding my head towards the bar. “You know where the booze is. Food…” shaking my head. “The bbq and food truck at the car wash was a one off.”

•- Embry Call -•

That one made me crack a smile… “Hey, you show me a unicorn and I will raise you a JJ.” She knew what I meant.

“Wow… an invitation behind the bar? There is a first time for everything!” It was far from my first time back there. I slipped back and found the bottles she kept under the bar grabbing two glasses.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

The lips were just about to curl up into that soft smile I once shared with him, until I locked it back where it belongs. Dropping my eyes for a blink before glanced back up, watching him walking around the bar top. Raising my eyebrow in that perfect arch, I just shook my head.

“Keep it up, Call, it could be the last time I tell you to help yourself.” It wasn’t the first time we’d been here. Like this. But it was different now.

•- Embry Call -•

I poured our drinks, her bourbon and a whiskey for me. She raised an eyebrow and shook her head. I should have recognized it… but I didn’t. Everything was missing, and the noise crept into my head again.

I slid her drink over. Instead of the usual toast, I simply said, “Here’s to a generous free pour,” and held out my glass.

Maybe it wasn’t time to smile or force anything. We were here, and that was something.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Watching him for a bit too long, I kept my place. My mind was clear of everything, and the rest locked down so tight that I should feel claustrophobic.

Taking a deep breath, stepping up to the customer side of my bar, lifting my leg over the closest stool to sit down, finally lifting my glass. But… I didn’t touch it to his. Keeping space between us felt wrong, then again making sure his gravity couldn’t draw me in had to be my first choice.

Nodding my head in agreement and taking my first gulp of that amber liquor. Letting the burn, the taste, the mixed sensations make a home in me.

•- Embry Call -•

How did we end up here? Afraid of even just the chance of our fingers brushing against the others?

Perhaps the better question is how did we ever get to a place where not touching her felt like a deceitful act?… A betrayal of everything that was right and true? But she maintained the space between us… a strength I knew I didn’t have. Another burden I had placed on her already laden shoulders.

I drank. Draining the whole glass. Pouring another and reaching for her bourbon to refill hers too.

Seeing her from this side of the bar… it was different. It was the side she sat on the night we turned that corner… but I was next to her. Now. There was a literal and figurative barrier between us.

But we were here.  “Slainte.” I tipped the glass to her again, using my grandfather’s toast and knocked it back without waiting.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Biting the inside of my cheek to stop myself to saying the words what felt so natural once to share with him. But I no longer had the right to say them. So, all I could do was sit here and watch. To sip on my bourbon and witness whatever this was in the moment.

She didn’t speak up, not to tell me to say it, or to hold back. She seems to pull back further when Embry came before us now. Making the silence the key for now. But I knew Embry. He didn’t do well with the lack of sound.

“Bringing the spirit of your grandfather to the table, Call. It must be serious.” Making the mask on my face curl one corner of her lip up.

•- Embry Call -•

There it was… a smile… but one that did nothing to my heart, to my stomach… because this was her camouflage. I hated that she felt like she needed to do this for me… I knew I had spent years as one of the people she had to throw up a wall for. I never wanted to be one of those people again, not after I saw all she kept hidden. All the beauty and the incredible heart she protected from us. I couldn’t blame her… maybe I needed to learn how to as well. Perhaps the burden wouldn’t need to be on her shoulders alone.

“He’s been on my mind a lot lately,” I admitted and maybe it was too big a revelation… but it was honest, it was real. I couldn't count the number of times I wished I could show up at his door and ask for his brutally straightforward advice.

“Did I ever tell you what it actually means?” I managed a smile… only because I remembered him explaining it to me when I was little.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Nodding my head once, I could believe it. Of course, his mind would go to those who were his family, his bloody.

Setting my glass down, I crossed my arms on the bar top titling my head. I didn’t want to think too hard about our past conversations… too many emotions I was suppressing were Nodding my head once; I could believe it. Of course, his mind would go to those who were his family, his bloody.

Setting my glass down, I crossed my arms on the bar top titling my head. I didn’t want to think too hard about our past conversations… too many emotions I was suppressing were

•- Embry Call -•

I could almost hear the cogs turning in her head, she could contemplate a lifetime in mere moments. I nodded, trying to focus on the words she said, not the pain I knew she had to be feeling too. Not the… “Um…” I cleared my throat and nodded. “Yeah, it does. Or at least it’s used as a toast… but the literal translation is Health. So, it is kind of like drinking to someone’s health.”

I was staring into the amber liquid and knocked back the glass in one… again. “But over time it just became Cheers… At least, that is what my great-grandfather told my grandfather.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

“You know how ironic that is, right?” I asked still keeping myself still, not touching my glass. Until I couldn’t anymore, and without thinking my hand shot out to be placed flat over the top of his glass stopping him from refilling it.

My eyes were locked on him. Not saying anything. Just for him to look up.

I knew knocking drinks back didn’t impact us the way it would “normal” people. But it was the action, which wasn’t sitting right with me.

Taking the glass, I set it upside down. Letting him know, it was time to slow down. To think before he acted. To… to… to… Spirits I didn’t know what. I just knew this… didn’t feel right.

•- Embry Call -•

I made a sound that was almost a laugh… only darker. I nodded. “Oh yeah… I know. I guess the Irish just has a different perspective on these things.”

My gaze was on her hand now, covering the top of my voided glass. It would be so easy to just lift my thumb from the side of the short glass and brush it gently along the side of her hand… the hand I held… kissed, touched, the hand she wrapped around the back of my neck when she needed me closer. The hand she trailed through my hair while she read or while I slept.

 I screwed my eyes shut and let her take it from me without resistance. I slid my hand back along the bar slowly… my wolf fighting to push closer to her. My eyes met hers and all I could see were the walls she hid the multitude of emotions she was capable of feeling all at once. I dipped my chin slightly, letting her know I heard her… Was this going to cause me  any harm? Hell no… was it even going to get me tipsy? Unlikely.

Was it problematic? Yes… As Fuck.

I stepped away to one of the fridges under the bar and took out two bottles of water. Not because we had drunk so much, we needed it to sober up. Just to let her know… I got it.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

It all felt so broken… not him… me… the way I sat here, the way I spoke... the walls holding me in, and him out. But it was a necessity.

“Hmm…” he didn’t look me in the eye for a long time, and when he did it was broken too. The way his eyes used to make me feel... it was broken too. “There’s nothing wrong with a different perspective. Actually, it’s what saved arses from being kicked. But this time… they were just off the mark.”

What in the name of the spirits were we even talking about? Who knew...

My eyes were locked on his movement, then the bottles of water came out and Embry told me by his actions he heard me. What more could I ask from him? I didn’t have the right to even stop him from doing what he was. Not on that personal level. He’d side ‘Goodbye’ those doors and windows were closed tight now.

•- Embry Call -•

A strange sound escaped me now… it was shaped like a laugh, it came from my chest and felt – on a physical level, at least – like a laugh would feel… but it was the furthest thing from one. “Off the mark…” I muttered, breaking the seal on the bottle. Was anything meeting the mark anymore? What the hell did meeting the mark even mean? Spirits! My wolf tucked himself around my shattered heart.

He wouldn’t let our brokenness burden them. “Yeah… I guess…” I stopped because I couldn’t say everything felt a little off the mark lately. That would lead down a conversational pathway that we couldn’t follow… not now. Maybe not ever? Maybe someday? Who fucking knew!

We fell into a silence, and it was nothing like the quiet moments we used to share. I drank from the bottle I had almost forgotten about. This tight, airless silence… I would take it over the black, noisy racket of being her anywhere nearby. But was that selfish? Did it make it harder for her?

We looked at her, the stiff way she sat… Of course, if did… If Leah was here… she had planned on working. She wasn’t an idle chat kind of woman. I cleared my throat and dragged my hand through my hair. “I… um…” I started towards the hatch that led out from behind the bar. “Should probably go. I’m sure you came here to work; I shouldn’t be taking your time.” Fuck!!! Why did those last three words feel like a punch in the gut?

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Being a person of few words always paid off for me, until I wished I had those words that told people ‘Someday… it will all go away. You’ll move on. You will be fine.’ But like I said. I wasn’t one for words.

So, I held my head up high and nod it once. I wasn’t going to ask him to stay when he needed to leave. It his choice and by the spirits I couldn’t blame him from running.

“Embry….” I finally found some words. “Remember… I’m still your beta… for now… if you need to vent…” I knew he had people. He had Jake and Quil… spirits he had all the pups. He didn’t need me to be there “just in case…” I added. Leaving him a way out.

Leaving the glass bourbon, and the bottle of water on the bar top I pushed up from the stool. Rolling my neck before I walked over the table with the tray of empties waiting for me.

“Good night, Call…” saying it as I picked up the rag and the tray.

•- Embry Call -•

She stopped me in my tracks and my wolf pressed at the walls of his cage, reaching for her… He made my heart race without warning, without any way for me to stop it. I turned back to watch her for a moment, and it happened again… those ten seconds of. ‘We could do this! Why should we let them break this incredible, beautiful, fucking Spirits-blessed thing we had built together?’ Ten seconds of pure, undeniable faith that we could hold onto it all.

Ten seconds and then it all crashed around me again and I forced him back down. Because there would be a cost. And Leah would be the one to pay the steepest price. A price I could never ask from her.

“I know, Tro—” Could I call her that anymore? I corrected myself. “Leah… I know. And you, venting might not be your style. But if you ever need to just sit… Just be… I’m still your…” Fuck! Why was my throat tight? I was her what? I had never been there for her before this, not once. Was I her third? What the fuck did that even mean? Clearly rank meant nothing around here anymore. I found her gaze and said the only thing I knew to be true. “I’m still yours.”

Then I left as quickly as I could, without running, to save both of us from having to deal with the fallout of my complete lack of control over my emotions.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

He was there… Not Embry… Well... Yes Embry, but it was his warriors’ spirits flashing into focus in front of us.

Ten seconds… we felt him… his heart… his mind working… his questioning gaze. She stepped forward before remembering he wasn’t ever met for her. We were meant to be here for a lesson. And now. She pushed herself so far back away. That I couldn’t hear her.

We had to learn to continue without that part of our heart the two of them had owned for a short period. My hand fisting tight around the rag at hearing him say it out loud… why? Why did he do that?

I stood there froze in my spot as he left. The sound of his heart, his breathing, the doors of the bar closing, the silence that followed…. Finally, I let my chin drop. My eyes sting. My stone heart cracked. All… Because…. They weren’t ours…

•- Embry Call -•

Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why the bloody hell would I say that? What the fuck was wrong with me!? I climbed into my jeep and just drove. I was a complete fucking idiot! Why? Why would I do that to them? Why couldn’t I have a single fucking ounce of self-control?

Maybe I should apologise? I couldn’t go back there… not when my whole body was reacting to everything that had just happened. This really wasn’t something you said in a text… or a call… was it? Shit! Fuck!

“FUCK!!!”

My phone buzzed on the passenger seat, and I pulled up… after a quick glance showed it was from Quil.

Text from Quil - Are you coming home?

It hit me somewhere in the gut… it was hard to pinpoint with everything else going on now too. Home? That was when I realised where I was… parked on Leah’s Street. “Fuck!”

The END

Play List for the Storyline

Phil Wickham - It’s always been you - https://youtube.com/watch?v=cApkf-mOc3M&si=__w0Nw64ycJ4b7dD

Justin Miguel - Yellow - https://youtube.com/watch?v=G0GZ2mbKuzw&si=lqhI4Bj3ig_jWpXn

Dean Lewis - Half a Man - https://youtube.com/watch?v=kmT1m-tq4JQ&si=WVlcWJzJF1TWSc29

Max McNown - Better for Me - https://youtube.com/watch?v=JgJEPBdvQF0

Max McNown – It’s not my fault - https://youtube.com/watch?v=lYvrV3PEtx4

Max McNown – Hotel Bible - https://youtube.com/watch?v=NSYyKrflwsY

Max McNown – Won’t let me go - https://youtube.com/watch?v=oHxMXmTGFyE

[amirrorneverlies]

It’s Never as Good as the Books - A story told with Jacob Black

“You deserve a relationship that enables you to sleep peacefully at night.”

※ Bella ※

“Book boyfriends and girlfriends are the way forward.”

※ Jacob ※

“I really need to get myself a library card!!”

※ Bella ※

“You don’t have a library card? I have two!” 

※ Jacob ※

“It’s cute that you think that’s a flex… like, for real.” Smiles.

※ Bella ※

“Excuse you. Cute? Please. I have Rizz, I’ll have you know.”

※ Jacob ※

“Yes Bells…. You have all the Rizz!”

※ Bella ※

“Okay… Jacob Black… why does it feel as though you are making fun of me?”

※ Jacob ※

“Me? Never.” Shaking my head. “I’ll tell you what, you can practise on me if you need to!”  Grinning.

※ Bella ※

“Nope. I feel judged now. You can't handle my Rizz.”

※ Jacob ※

Completely forgets everything she says as she says it, because…

“You have really pretty eyes.” Damn!!!!! Did I say that out loud?

※ Bella ※

Eyebrows jerking, with widened eyes. “Oh. Hmm.” Clearing my throat. “Yeah. I know. All the better to see you with.” Kicking myself as the words leave my lips. Leaning into his crazy moment.

※ Jacob ※

Thankfully, her response made me burst out laughing, almost forget my slip. Almost. “Really? Wow! I didn't know Rizz meant quoting old fairytales! No wonder my lines never work.”

※ Bella ※

“See.” Holding my hands out to the sky. “You… are… welcome! Who else can give you all these helpful dating tips.”  Winking at him exaggeratedly.

※ Jacob ※

"Tips??" Raising a brow. "Now there are multiple tips? Let me take out my notepad." I pretended to pull a notebook from my pocket and mimicked writing on it.

※ Bella ※

Watching him with a mild smile on my lips. “There are multiple tips, however, I didn’t say I would shower them all on you at the same time. You need to work up to each one, young apprentice.” Mimicking the Yoda voice badly.

※ Jacob ※

Yoda impressions?? I mean terrible ones… but still… Bella might be the most perfect woman! I laughed and tucked away my imaginary notepad. “Okay, I'll respect your teachings. One lesson at a time. So, do I get to practice on anyone in particular?

※ Bella ※

Dusting off my shoulders, free from the invisible specs of doubt. I felt a little pride in myself. “Uhm.. I’m sorry?” Glancing around the two of us. “I’m not a wing person, Jacob. I help with the theory. Practising... don’t you boys have girls you want to date?”

※ Jacob ※

Well, this was awkward! "Wing person?" I cracked a smile. "You know I always thought the two-on-one approach was a little unfair... I mean... if you like someone... it should really be a one-on-one kinda thing, don't you think?"

※ Bella ※

“Uhm…” giving his question time to ruminate. “Most teens your age don’t have the confidence to step up to a person they like to do that. But. Yeah. I agree. If you like someone, have some faith. Step up.” I tilted my head slightly to smile at him. “You know Jacob Black... you are too mature for your age. Slow down a little. You’re starting to make me look bad.”

※ Jacob ※

I laughed... glad that my subject change worked. But the heat in my cheeks told me I was blushing as soon as she said people my age rarely had the guts to step up to the person, they liked... she had no idea how true that was! Would I ever have the nerve to hit on her? "Is that your way of saying confidence is key?"  I chuckled at her comment on my maturity. "I can't help it if I was born from generations of wise chieftains!" I boasted. "It's not something you can just turn off."

※ Bella ※

“I mean, all the books I read seem to think so. At this stage, I feel like they must have some truth to it?”  As though I could speak on the topic. ‘Miss let’s stay in the back with my head down, and hope no one notices me.’ So far that method of thinking hasn’t worked since my move to Forks.

Mindlessly curling a strand of hair with my fingers, I shook my head.  “I’m sure, you’re working up to becoming a great chief yourself someday. If that’s what you want.” I had every faith in my friend's abilities to achieve whatever he set his mind to.

※ Jacob ※

My brows pulled together... "Wait... you've read books about how to... flirt?" Was that a thing? I mean it probably was right? They had self-help books for everything... Spirit's... Embry had learnt to play the guitar from a library book, I was pretty sure he still hadn't returned...

Should I be reading books like these? I smiled at her and nodded. "I mean... I think it is. I wanna have my own job and everything first. But who knows... Rachel or Becca might come home and want it instead." I doubted it... but if they did and it was what would keep them here? Then I wouldn't try to stop it.

※ Bella ※

“No!” The word shot out faster, and louder than expected. Clearing my throat while shaking my head. “No... I meant the novels I read have a basic underlying premise.” Was I feeling a blush creeping up my face?

“I’ve no intention whatsoever to flirt with anyone.” Dating isn’t high on the agenda when you were hoping to make it day by day without breaking down or regressing into a dark hole at the mention of things that others thought to be normal.  

However, I forgot my thoughts catching the meaning behind his words. “If your sisters come back?” I hadn’t pushed to ask why they didn’t visit before now, after all it was personal and none of my business.

※ Jacob ※

I laughed... she answered that fast... Was it too fast? Then my brows shot all the way up. "No intention... Like... Ever?" It probably sounded like teasing. And I knew her break-up was rough... and not a normal teenage relationship break-up rough. It was life-altering for her. I see that. I know I didn't know her as well as I liked to pretend sometimes. But I could tell she wasn't the same as before.

"I hope that you don't feel like that forever," I told her.

Then I acquiesced to her subject change. "Um... yeah."  I rubbed the back of my neck. "I mean if one of them wanted the job and it kept them here... I could accept them. I'd have one of my sisters back."

※ Bella ※

I just shrugged my shoulders slowly in answer to his question, because I really had no true response. Could I change my mind? Yes. Of course, however, right now I couldn’t see a future where it would be possible.

Thankfully, Jacob accepted the request to change the topic, but then again, his reply seemed a little… off maybe?  “You would accept them?” Clasping my hands I worked them considering his choice of words. “Do you not accept them now?”

※ Jacob ※

My face heated. Okay, I phrased that badly.  "No, I just mean... The job... the seat on the council, I would give to them. The twins never really wanted it before. They always said I should take it... but if it made one of them want to come home for good. I could give it up for them. Because having them back would be far more important. For one of them to be home..."

※ Bella ※

“Oh. Sorry. I totally misunderstood where you were going there.”  Giving him a nod of understanding now.  “You miss them, don’t you?” I could comprehend his emotions and empathise with them. I missed my family but knew this distance between us was necessary. “When was the last time you visited them?”

※ Jacob ※

I nodded... "I can't help it... I remember them more than my mom... and they..." I paused. "They tell the best stories about her too." I smiled. "But I don't really get to visit them. Dad's seat on the council means we can't really be gone long, and I can't go and leave him home alone either." I paused again dropping my gaze to the ground. "Rachel came home for winter break... and Becca..." Something twisted inside. "Um... She... calls... sometimes."

※ Bella ※

My heart just died a death. Why did I even ask the question? Seeing the discomfort on my friend’s features broke my already broken heart, for so many reasons.  “I — “ My jaw worked with no words coming to save him from what I caused.

“You are a good son and brother Jacob Black.” Realising once again how alike we were. And why our friendship seemed to work.  “I’m sure they miss you too.”

※ Jacob ※

I waited for that look… the one everyone gets when I talk about Mom. But Bella’s was different… like she felt bad for bringing it up. But there wasn’t any pity that I could see… That was the worst. “I know they do… and they do their best.”

I smiled at her then. “I don’t mind you know?” I tried to reassure her. “Talking about it. I quite like too actually… I just… don’t really have that many stories… and some of them I’m not even sure I haven’t made up to fill the gaps.”

※ Bella ※

“Do you want to tell me? I don’t mind if you want to keep them for yourself. However, I’d love to hear them.” I wouldn’t push, it was his choice and always would be. Nodding my head towards the path.

“I’ll even let you walk with me while you share.” Then adding. “And you can share my bag of chips and a box of cookies in my backpack.” Food would work better as a bridge between hurting and remembering the good times.

※ Jacob ※

I was stunned into silence for a minute. She wanted to hear stories about my Mom? Why did the idea of this make my palms sweat? “Well…” I swallowed. “If there’s free cookies involved….” I shrugged like this was what sealed the deal. But honestly, I couldn’t see myself ever telling her no.

I walked with her in the direction she’d indicated. “I only ever talk about her with Quil and Embry… What do you wanna know?”

※ Bella ※

Sliding the strap of my bag off my shoulder, walking in step but then thinking better of it. I stopped, taking out the small box of cookies I bought at lunch but didn’t eat. Holding them out for him. “I knew food would seal the deal.” But then I saw the look in his eyes. Damn! I didn’t mean to put him on the spot.

“Uhm. Listen. It’s okay to have her to yourself and those you trust.” Trying to show him I didn’t mean to intrude. “Tell me about school.” I just wanted to… well. I didn’t know what I was trying and failing to do.

※ Jacob ※

I smiled and took the box from her, opening it as I spoke. “No... I trust you… but the stories… they aren’t secret.” I held the box out to Bella to take the first one… It was just polite really.

“Plus… school is boring when you aren’t a nerd.” I teased her. “It’s just… I guess when I talk about her… it’s not like picking a story. Usually, I’m talking to my friends or Dad about a memory, and Mom… comes up because she was there you know.” I laughed then… I was going to have to up my storytelling game if I was ever going to take my father’s place.

I looked at the little box, then Bella’s backpack, and grinned. “Okay... She always had snacks… like always. She has this purse, and it had a picture of a wolf on it and there was always food in there… even if you caught her without the bag… she’d still have a bag of nuts or something in her pocket. We all just used to think that she was one of those moms, you know… Always feeding the kids. I never realised it was for Dad… in case his blood sugar dropped. She started to notice the guys and I were raiding her stash, so then she started keeping chips and sugary treats in there too.”

※ Bella ※

“Thank you.” Taking one of the offered cookies. (Which were mine to start with!) I began walking again. Bag over my shoulder, with one hand pushed deep into my pocket from the cold air. Smiling when he began speaking about his mom. As he spoke, I guessed Sarah had those snacks for Billy due to his diabetes. However, hearing the story from Jake’s point of view. I laughed with him.

How did I do that around him? Smiling and laughing!  “I’m hoping you gave your mom the snack queen title for that.” Shaking my head. Thinking I would have been lucky to find a leftover tic tac at the bottom of Renée’s bag.

※ Jacob ※

I resisted the urge to chuckle when Bella thanked me for one of her own cookies… I mean sure it was funny… but it was also kind of adorable. She was probably the most generous person I had ever met. And I didn’t mean because of her sharing cookies or buying us dinner… not even making us all breakfast the morning we came to work on the shed.

Why were all those examples food-related? There was no denying I had been a bottomless pit when it came to food lately. Dad said it was like I was storing up for winter.

She was generous with her spirit, her gratitude… I wondered if maybe that was what it was like… coming out of the darkness she'd gotten lost in, seeing the world and people around you again and appreciating each second with them.

“Embry told her she was the best cook on the Rez… His mom tried, but honestly, unless it was lasagna night at the Call’s… we ate at mine or Quil’s.” I tried to think of another story… munching on a cookie as I thought. “Okay… tell me something about your mom… I need prompts to get my mind working.” I chuckled.

※ Bella ※

Half smiling as I chewed on half a cookie. Walking aimlessly with my friend by my side. I listened carefully to the fact that I was being let into this safe side of his memories. Recalling Sarah Black from the few group photos Charlie had in an album, and Mrs Call who had been comforting Leah weeks ago when the young Clearwater was upset. “There is nothing wrong with a good lasagna night,” I said. “What’s the one dish you think of when you think of your mom?” I asked. Before he asked me about my mom.

“Reneè…” contemplating what to share, “Well… she is a young soul. Or at least that’s what my nani used to call her. She’s the best to have fun with. Road trips, concerts, midnight drives just to get snacks.” Leaving out the part, where she didn’t think about the fact that I needed to be awake for school the next day.

※ Jacob ※

I laughed… “Oh yeah, it’s a good lasagne and it's always good fun… Mama T is definitely the funniest Mom on the Rez… even if she is a little overprotective.”

“Mom’s cooking…” I thought about it for about a split second. “Grilled Halibut… I can barely remember the taste… but I remember her barbecuing on the back porch and I remember the sizzles of the butter when it dropped onto the charcoal. Dad was always so excited… mostly because he’d caught the fish and would spend the next week boasting about it. Quil and Embry would come over and if it wasn’t raining the twins would put the kitchen table outside and we’d…” I realised I was rambling and smiling like a fool… but I wasn’t embarrassed. I knew Bella wouldn’t make fun of it… “It was always a great day, you know?”

※ Bella ※

My eyes caught all the excitement in Jacob. The way his voice went up an octave, his body felt little lighter, with a telling bounce in his step. This was something I never knew about him. Maybe I knew a little, however witnessing it today, bought warmth to my heart. I didn’t know when I began smiling. I couldn’t take my gaze away from him. Because seeing how happy these memories made him feel, made me want to bottle some of it up for my dark nights.

Shaking my head, when he talked about his sisters and his mother. His dad… and friends. He had a full life. And I loved this for him.

“I get it.” Not from personal experiences. However, I learnt through his eyes and demeaner. Oh... wait… “It sounds like the nights when you and Billy, or when the Clearwater’s have Charlie and me over. How a simple night turns into something a little special.” So, maybe I have been lucky enough to experience it first hand?

※ Jacob ※

I grinned because I knew she would get it. “It’s always about the people… I mean good food is good too… but the company? It makes all the difference. Even if it is just one other person... if it is the right person, you’ll never forget it… you know?”

I kept walking with her. Noticing that I had to shorten my stride to keep next to her. Then I remembered we were walking without a real destination in mind. “So where exactly are we going? Or are we just… wandering?” I munched on another cookie.

※ Bella ※

His question stopped me in my tracks, with a few moments of silence as my eyes moved around us. Of course, I’d been elated when I saw Jacob, however, we didn’t have any plans, and I was wasting his time. All because I didn’t want to go home to an empty house while Dad worked. “Uhm… Yeah… I guess…” Pulling on the strap on my shoulder. “We are… but if you’re busy, I’ll let you go... And you can keep the cookies too.”

※ Jacob ※

I stopped walking and gently took Bella's wrist… stopping her too… “Bella…” I let go realising that might not be something she was comfortable with. “I am busy… I’m busy hanging out with my friend… I think you know her. Her name is Bella Swan.” I smiled, but there was concern behind it. She seemed to carry around this feeling that she was a burden to the people around her.

“You know that I want to hang out with you, right? There’s no other reason for me being here other than the fact that I really like spending time with you. And there is nothing wrong with just walking for the sake of it. All this good fresh air and exercise and stuff.” I grinned at the end hoping to inject a little humour into the situation.

※ Bella ※

I couldn’t help the flinch I felt at his touch. My eyes stuck on the place he had held me gently. It wasn’t his touch; it was the sensation of warmth. Of softness. Of Jacob. Shaking off the whirlwind of thoughts, I allowed my gaze to travel up to meet his. Had he grown some more? Was this boy having a growth spurt again?

Chewing my bottom lip as I let my heart sink. I’d been trying so hard to keep my mask up that I hadn’t seen how selfish it was of me to expect him to be…. Wait a minute... what was Jacob saying? He was busy with… with… me?

A rush of heat filled my cold heart. How had I become so lucky with his kindness and friendship? And the smile. Jacob Black had the most wonderful smile ever. So, welcoming, and never afraid of sharing it.

“Jake!” Playfully smacking his forearm hoping the touch would show him I was okay with his. “Thank you…” biting down the concerns that had been raised within me. “However, you know you can tell me to leave. I never want to outstay my welcome. Or stop you from anything you have planned.” Even while meaning every word, I said. I could feel the relief spreading with every passing second.

Pushing my elbow into his side as I spoke. “I heard fresh air is good for a growing boy like you.” Making a point to show him I noticed him. I wanted him to feel as seen as he always made me feel.

※ Jacob ※

I shook my head, but I was smiling. Instead of keeping the attention on the part that I knew made her feel a little exposed, I quirked a brow and asked… “What do you think I would be up to that I couldn’t just ask you to tag along?”

Then I laughed and spoke. “Actually, don’t answer that…” I wasn’t sure if her growing boy comment was about my age again or the fact that the new jeans, I got only two weeks ago were currently just skimming my ankles. “I’m pretty sure it's good for everyone… even the palest girl to ever come from Arizona!” I teased her, giving her a gentle nudge back because I had a feeling; she probably bruised like a peach. “How is your hand healing?”

※ Bella ※

Parting my lips to list off all the things a young teenage boy could be getting on with in his free time. I clamped my mouth shut when he asked me not to answer. “You really need to say at the start if it’s a rhetorical question.” Well… knock me down with a feather! I could make jokes too!

Shrugging my shoulders I held my hand out. It had a simple square plaster covering the healing cut. “Charlie wants it covered when I’m not home. Otherwise, it’s getting better just fine.” Biting on my lips before adding. “I’m sorry about how the night ended I… Uhm… I have this thing… I zone out at the worst possible times.” I couldn’t tell him the full truth without sounding like a crazy or zoop.

※ Jacob ※

I laughed… “You were about to say a million different things, weren’t you?” I chuckled again. “I will have you know I am very well-behaved.”

Without thinking about it I brought my hand underneath the one she showed me, cradling it for a second before remembering she wasn’t a very touchy person… at least right now. Or maybe always, I wasn’t sure. “It’s probably a good idea, the last thing you want is an infection. But you have nothing to be sorry for… It happens.” I shrugged. “I mean look at what happened when we built the shed?” Then I paused and thought carefully about how to word this. “I sort of thought that maybe the song I played upset you… If it did, I didn’t mean to and I’m sorry for that. But… at least you’re okay and maybe you won’t even have a scar.”

※ Bella ※

“I was thinking about homework and chores. I don’t know where your mind went, young man.” Scoffing with a little eye roll, but so liking the sweet sound of his laughter. I shifted a little when Jacob took hold of my hand, he did it without thinking. And I reminded myself not to feel overwhelmed by the action.

My eyes flashed with sadness, my shoulders shrunk at the fact that Jacob had seen past my mirror illusions and saw just how broken I had become. “I… Uhm…” What would I do? Lie? As I always did. Or… “Music has gone from being a love to something I feel really anxious around.” Because I couldn’t say I hated it. I’d worked on myself, and grown, I could get myself out of that messy situation without reacting if I could foresee it coming.

※ Jacob ※

“Sure!” I teased her… but I knew it was true. Bella seemed to see the best in everyone. But she did it without being naïve… she balanced to two well.

My heart broke a little with her confession. I nodded and bit into a cookie while I tried to pull together the thoughts; that the onset of emotion had sent scattering away. “Sometimes… we lose touch with the things we used to love. I don’t want to sound cliché and tell you everything will be fine… but usually, people find a way back to the things they love the most, it can just take a while. You might not even notice when it happens… I’m not making you a promise. But…” I smiled then.

“Maybe you need a different kind of music… you should come to the village on the day of the farmer's market. There are always elders gathered around, singing blessings or telling stories. You don’t need to understand the words to appreciate it. It’s the first Saturday of the month. Rain or shi-“ I stopped before saying shine and laughed. “Rain or no rain.” I gave her all the information so she could come by herself or come along with me… but this way. She could choose.

※ Bella ※

“Thanks Jacob.” My eyes lowered as I took in the information, memorising it for a later date. “For trying to… you know… help.” He didn’t have to do this. Spending time with me, I was certain he could use for a million and one other more important things to do.

“I’ll give it a think. see how I feel.” I didn’t promise, like him I left it to hope and time. Music had been a companion for the majority of my life. And I hoped someday, it maybe could become the same again.

“And don’t think I’ve forgotten. You said we would go up to those cliffs, we saw from the road when driving to your place.” If we were going to spend time together. We had to do things he found interesting too.

Nodding my head towards the path before us, gesturing for us to continue with our walk. So far this last afternoon was turning out to be exactly what I needed.

The End

[amirrorneverlies]

No Man Left Behind  - A Story Told with Jacob Black - Part 3

Continued from...

No Man Left Behind  - A story told with Jacob Black - Part 2

“I’m sure she would appreciate it if that energy was matched maybe once a month.”  I teased #Charlie. “I bet picking up your funky socks doesn’t qualify as a good time.”

I honestly hadn’t heard the hidden meaning in Bella's words until she turned so red it was almost worrying. I tried to save her a little by taking out both flavours and saying. “Double Chocolate it is!” There was no hidden meaning to be found in that, right? I found the scoop and double-checked with Dad that he just wanted a brownie. I scooped the ice cream onto three plates one each for #Charlie and two chocolate, and vanilla for me. “How many for you, Bells?” I asked already scooping one helping of the chocolate, because she’d already said she wanted some. “Want some vanilla too?”

‘Chocolate and vanilla… it’s a good combo!’ Dad said like a misbehaving teenager and now I was turning red again. Then he turned to #Charlie. ‘It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.’ Then they made finger guns at each other and laughed like toddlers.

※ Bella ※

“You both are so childish!” Attempts were being made to bring the dads back into line, which clearly failed because they just began laughing even harder.

“Give me strength!” My gaze was on them as I asked Jacob. “I feel like we should ground then.” I couldn’t stop the smile growing on my lips. Their mischief was contagious. “I’m thinking a week, with no beer, sweet treats, or fishing!”

‘Hell no! I’m not sure this is how parenting works, Bella.’ Even while trying to be a grown-up. There was a glimpse of him I hadn’t seen before. ‘She is your daughter; she can ground you. But now me.’ #Billy smacked my dad on his shoulder, tears streaming from the strength of his laughter now.

※ Jacob ※

I nodded in agreement with Bella. “I think we should… nip this behaviour in the bud before it becomes problematic in their old age.”

I gave Dad the same look he gives me when he’s laying down the law. “Hey… none of that now.” I pointed the ice cream scoop at him. “Me and your best friend's daughter are a united front when it comes to discipline. Settle down or there’ll be no dessert for either of you.” Dad even pretended to have been corrected for a second before returning to a fit of laughter. That was the limit of my poker face, and I burst out laughing too.

I set the ice cream on the table and turned to Bella… “Let's get these two fed before they bust a lung shall we?” Still laughing I added a brownie to each plate.

※ Bella ※

Crossing my arms, my foot tapping on the floor underneath the table. I couldn’t resist myself. “Oh, so you’re going to be the good cop, and leave me to be the bad cop here huh?” Doing the ‘I see you thing with my fingers. “I see where this is going, Jacob Black. So much for a united front, Mister.”

And now I too laughed with the three of them. Dad and #Billy shared a look, but they didn’t stop teasing.

‘If you had held on to a few moments longer, Jake.’ #Charlie teases. ‘You would have had us.’

“Don’t you worry young man. You’re coming home with me!” I chastised.

‘Oops, I think you got yourself grounded, Swan.’ #Billy took his plate as I handed Jacob the next one to fill.

“Don’t think I wouldn’t ground you too. I can drive down here and make sure you are following the rules.” The two laugh even harder. “Jake, I don’t know how you manage to get anything done around these two.”

※ Jacob ※

I tried to stifle my laughter when Bella played at telling me off. “Let’s not argue in front of the parents,” I smirked. “We’ll talk about this later when they go to clean up their toys.”

Still laughing I took my seat again. I needed this. The last week or so; with everything going on between #Embry, #Quil, and me had been rough. It was good to laugh and just not worry about anything for a while. I sliced off a corner of the brownie and tasted it just on its own without any ice cream, to appreciate #Bella’s skill. “Oh wow…” I pointed my fork at the plate and swallowed the bite in my mouth. “Bella… these are incredible…” I was starting to think I should have taken notes when she was baking.

Then I took a bite with some of the vanilla ice cream… It was so good. I looked at the other faces at the table, all showing signs of approval. “So same time next week guys?” I asked… part joking and a lot serious.

※ Bella ※

“Fine. But we will talk Jacob Black!” Laughing with them all. “And thank you for the compliment... I know it comes from a real place with you.”

My chest felt light, my soul free, and more so I felt like today had been filled with such uncertainty and anxiety. A little dinner with friends was much needed.

‘Hell yeah!’ #Charlie didn’t miss a beat with his mouth full.

“Dad! Chew first, then talk.” Dropping my head so my hair could hide the crimson shades colouring my pale cheeks. “Glad you like it, Jake.”

‘I told you.’ My dad nudged his friend. ‘The pudding is the best part of healthy dinners.’ He’d been talking to #Billy about my cooking?

“Has he been complaining about my meals?”

#Billy laughed licking his lips with an invisible key and throwing it away.

“And yeah. We so should. But why don’t you guys come over to ours next time?” I offered to look over to my dad, who nodded in agreement.

※ Jacob ※

I grinned at Bella and nodded, crossing my heart. She was laughing wholeheartedly with us now and I could see #Charlie watching her intently even through his hysterics. He caught my eyes and dipped his chin at me gratefully. He was starting to see her coming out of the dark too.

“Wait... #Charlie… are you telling me you knew her dessert was this good and you never invited us over?” I gasped. But the drama was lost when I tucked in for a second bite with chocolate ice cream this time. He just smirked at me like the cat that got the cream.

‘I would call it bragging.’ Dad answered Bella. ‘About how responsible and grown up you are, looking out for the old timer.’ He slapped #ChiefSwan’s shoulder lightly.

“I’m always up for a trip into town.” I looked at Dad and he nodded, smiling.

※ Bella ※

‘Bells makes me watch those shows from over the sea with her, she’s been picking up from trips. And I’m the test subject for it when she does create something.’ He pointed in the wrong direction over his shoulder, making me smile and roll my eyes.

“Hey, Billy.” My eyes were on my plate as I continued to eat and speak. “You’ve been good friends with my dad for a long time, right?”

‘Hmm…’ #Billy looked over the table towards me. I bet he was wondering where I was going.

“Have you ever known anyone, who could make my dad do anything he didn’t want?” Looking chuffed when my eyes met my father’s now.

‘Nope… not a one…’ Oh, I was smirking so big now. ‘Until his daughter came to town that is. Now.. he would do anything to see her happy.’

My heart… #Charlie looked at me and then his eyes dropped to his spoon. I felt that prickly sensation in my nose.

‘He’d do anything for you Bells. You know that.’ His friend said it again.

“Yeah… I’m one lucky person.” Smiling I reached over and squeezed his hand once. Then let go.

※ Jacob ※

“Well, if you want testers I will gladly volunteer!” I smiled, waving my fork in the air before using it to slice through the brownie. Then Bella had me laughing.

“She has a point #Charlie.” I teased and then Dad turned to me, with a brow raised.

‘Funny… I think I used to say that when #Rebeca made you watch that same show.’ He laughed.

If it wouldn’t have made Bella uncomfortable I would have told her all about how #Charlie went on and on about how excited he was to have her come to stay… but that would make both of the Swan’s squirm. So, I would tell her when there was no one else around.

※ Bella ※

“As long as you are honest with your feedback, you young Master Black are welcome to become a Swan dessert tester, I’ll even have a T-shirt printed with the name on it, just for you.”

Dropping my fork, I fell back in my chair laughing. “Busted!” I called to Jake, smacking his bicep lightly. “Your dad is dishing the deets tonight.”

#Billy and #Charlie exchanged another look, smiling widely at each other. The men had some private joke or something going on tonight.

The dads helped themselves to seconds and I didn’t stop them. The brownies were as bad as the store-bought ones. Today I’d let things slide. Charlie didn’t know it yet; however, he would pay for it with a few salads next week.

※ Jacob ※

I laughed… there it was again… the 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰 thing… did she mean too young? “I am always honest 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰 Miss Swan!” I teased her back just to see her reaction.

“Oh yeah dishing all the deets and ignoring the fact that watching it got me out of drying the dishes!” I pointed out. He just rolled his eyes.

Knowing how Bella had sweetened the brownies I said nothing when Dad took another piece. I was glad he could just help himself and not have to worry… and I was kinda glad I could let him help himself and not worry too.

When everyone was done I sat back and patted my stomach… “Okay… you two go catch the end of your game and I’ll get all of this cleaned up.”

‘You sure you don’t want any help.’ #Charlie asked… but he glanced back at the dark TV across the hall as he did. I laughed, then waved them off.

“When football season is over you can wash all the dishes, Chief Swan” I grinned and he jumped up pushing Dad out of the kitchen, quickly.

‘You gotta deal! Thank you both for dinner and dessert… it was delicious.’ The television was on again before his sentence was finished and I just laughed. “You can go join them if you want. A little quality time.”

※ Bella ※

“Hey!” Tapping Jake’s hand. “I’m old enough to drink in Europe, you know.” Winking at him with a sideways glance.

#Charlie cleared his throat. ‘You aren’t in Europe, Bells. No drinking here until you’re twenty-one.’

Huffing at my dad. “Come on Dad, you know I’m not like that. I don’t believe in taking anything bad for my body.”

This made his shoulders relax. ‘Glad we’re on the same page. It’s the same when you start the travelling business!’ I gave him a roll of my eyes.

Then as his offer to help clean had been rejected both the dads were gone faster than a flash of light. Leaving me smiling watching after them both.

“No way.” Answering Jacob’s question. “You cooked, that means I clean up.” Standing to begin gathering up the dishes. “You’re welcome to help with putting things away because there is no guarantee you will find anything if I pack.”

With my hands full, I push the chair in underneath the table with my hips, making my way towards the sink.

“I have an efficient way of tackling cleaner after dinner anyway. So, this will all be done before no time.”

※ Jacob ※

I cleared my throat and looked down at the table when #Bella mentioned the drinking age… Okay so maybe the illegal driving wasn’t my only infraction… I mean it wasn’t a regular thing… but we had been known to sneak a beer or two… just on a special occasion. And it wasn’t like we ever caused trouble because of it… or drove afterwards. We never got into fights or… well, let Embry start any.

It was rude to show up to a party empty-handed, right? Besides, we only ever did it when the three of us were spending time together… and that wasn't happening again anytime soon if #Embry didn’t come back to normal.

“I cooked, you baked.. I think we’re even.” I chuckled. “You’ve got a deal, Swan. You scrape and wash and I will dry and pack away.” I winked at her. I opened the cupboard over the fridge and pulled out some tubs for the leftovers. I tipped the pasta into one and started on the Bolognese.

“Oh really?” I raised a brow. “Now this I have to see! You don’t just clean until… well until everything is clean?” I asked genuinely curious. I don’t think I had ever given any thought to my cleaning methods… I just… cleaned.

※ Bella ※

Jacob had that look on his face again. The one which came over him when he became lost in thought. However, this time. He seemed to be in some form of internal turmoil.

“Uhm?” I didn’t push to ask; he would tell me if he wanted to share. After all, it had been a long day. Gathering the rest of the dishes. Making sure I don’t trip over, or break anything as I went.

“Oh.. yes.” Nodding my head. Once my hands were clear, I pulled my hair back into a ponytail pulling my hair tie from around my wrist.

“So, it’s all about doing the work in clean divides. First, I clear the table.” Pointing to it. “Check.” Smiling.

“Then I make sure the dishes are scraped, and soaking as I go. It makes cleaning them easier.” Pointing to the used bowl he emptied, and took it for the scraps.

“Then comes the washing. It’s like a conveyor belt like this.” There was logic in my way of working. Well. To me at least.

Getting to work, I smiled again hearing the dad’s disagreeing with the referee on some call. This was normal, right? Dinner, friends, sharing chores? I was getting my ‘normal’ legs back under myself.

“Hey, Jake?” I mindlessly as I began washing in the warm soapy water. “Why haven’t you taken your driving test yet?” Thinking back to the conversation at the table?

※ Jacob ※

I laughed… But when I thought about it… That was pretty much what I did. I just never really thought about it as a system. “Perfectly logical.” I agreed. But I was still sure I didn’t stick to that order totally. “I guess that's mostly what I do… I just get everything washed and dried… then I clean the cooker and counters last… Or I’ll spray the hob if I made a mess while I cooked and let it sit while I do everything else so it’s less scrubbing.”

“Okay… Maybe I’m a nerd too.” I laughed, and I shrugged. “But at least I have good company in nerd town.”

Her question shouldn’t have taken me by surprise, we had just been talking about it. But it did all the same. “Oh um… a few reasons really… Time, I suppose. Money… It’s eighty dollars and it seems like every time I save up, something happens, or my cousin gets sick, and I have to help with the baby… Plus…” I cleared my throat.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to say the next thing… but every time I thought about the test I couldn’t help but worry about it. “And um… Rez kids have a harder time when the examiner is a townie… I mean… I guess we have a bad reputation in town. I still don’t think that it would affect my passing. I’m a good driver… but… I guess it’s just easier not to. And the tribal cops tend to look the other way if you aren’t being stupid or drinking.” I knew #Bella wouldn’t think like that… but there was something shameful about letting her know that other people looked at me that way. My dad called it 𝗰𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 and I tried not to let it happen… but I didn’t always manage it.

※ Bella ※

“Welcome to nerd town Jacob Black. We welcome you with open arms and hearts. We have your welcome pack ready with a signed copy of….. ‘You are a cleaning nerd. Now what?’ Just for you.”

I couldn’t help but smile so big. I really enjoyed cleaning up, it gave me time to collect my thoughts from the day, or even think over my homework. Because I had to stop my mind from wandering freely.

Then came a moment of silence. Words had eluded me, my mind full of so many thoughts and emotions that I couldn’t imagine what I would say if I allowed them to flow from my lips.

My heart broke, my jaw dropped, and my white privilege showed once again.

#Harry and #Leah were great at teaching me the truth about history. And #Charlie too. And I knew in my heart, that Dad would be furious if he heard this. But at the same time. I couldn’t jump in and become the ‘saviour.’ Because what did I even know?

“Jake…” my voice cracked a little with my heart. “I… I didn’t know any of this. Can… can I help in any way? As your friend? Can I support you?”

※ Jacob ※

“Thank you, thank you!” I waved to the imaginary people of nerd town.

Bella’s reaction stunned me… not because I had expected her to react badly… but because most people on the other side of it responded with exaggerated outrage at the racism and the inequality. Or worse, they told you that people like that aren’t worth a second thought, to stand up for yourself and not accept that kind of treatment. But… That was a whole lot harder to do than it sounded. Even if the latter was the truth.

“You do Bells… Just by being you.” I smiled because that reaction… that was a first for me. “And #Charlie too, he’s done a lot for the Tribe… you know the conviction rate of tribe members dropped dramatically after Charlie was made the Chief.” It was true… but I knew it would make Bella proud. #Charlie wasn’t the type to brag so I was pretty sure she didn’t know this little fact. “I just need to bite the bullet and do it, then I never have to do it again, right?” I laughed, trying to revive the mood.

※ Bella ※

#Charlie had a handle on matters. However, never once in all our conversations did my dad share his part in this matter. And I got it. I was a Swan, after all, something #Reneè reminded me a lot.

Glancing over to the back of my dad’s head, I noticed how my chest swelled with pride. “He is a good man, with decent morals I’m proud of.” But I made a point to talk to my dad. To better understand why in this day and age, people still show such ignorance.

Now I smiled again at my friend. “Well yeah… until you turn seventy. Then you need medical and maybe a retest. But don’t worry, I’ll get there way before you. So, you know I will share the tricks with you.”

Whispering loudly as I worked.

“Oh, the joys of youth. You are so lucky.”

※ Jacob ※

I smiled at her… “Not to give you a big head or anything… because… you know being native pretty much makes you as cool as a person can be… but….” I grinned, hardly believing I was doing this. Because we all knew the pain of hearing townies telling us how their great-grandfather’s second cousin was a quarter insert-a-random-tribe-here was native, so they were too. “You know Swan is a Rez name, right? It's not so common here, anymore. But if you look through the family trees it's in there a lot.”

Then she had me laughing again. “Oh yeah, because you are so ancient.” I teased her. Dipping my fingers into the dishwater to flick a few drops at her.

“You really have a thing about age don’t you?”

※ Bella ※

I never really thought about heritage, the past of where I or my family came from. Other than the seventh-grade family tree project I had to do for school.

However, it was hard to miss the meaning behind knowing your roots when it came to my friends. Yet another form of white privilege, which gave me confidence no one would even ask me such a question!

I knew my face must have been a sight with the shocked expression I could feel. “I’m sorry?” Had I heard Jake correctly?

“Swan… as in my surname… my dad’s name… it has some roots in tribal history?” My hands remained holding a dish allowing myself time to consider the facts.

 “I thought our ancestry came from Europe. A little mix of British, Irish, French, and German?”

My gaze landed on the pale skin tone of my hands and arms.

“Do you know where it crossed over at all?” I really wanted to learn about it.

“Hey!” My hand darted up to wipe the small specs of water from my face. Smiling once more, shrugging my shoulders.

“Do I?” I knew I did. The idea of getting old, when you surrounded yourself with…. Shaking my head. “Does anyone really want to grow old?” Another genuine question. I couldn’t be the only one.

※ Jacob ※

I grinned a little, watching her examine the porcelain skin of her arms. “You know a lot of Irish immigrants married into Rez families. That may be where it came from… But I’ve seen it in a few family trees.” I had an idea… “We could go to the tribal office and look it up. #SueClearwater is really good at tracing lineage, I bet she'd love to look into it.”

I looked at her like she was crazy. “Hell yeah!!!” I told her honestly. “I mean I’m not in a rush or anything… but being an elder? Telling the histories at the bonfire? A couple of grandkids running around? I mean isn’t that the whole point?”

I couldn’t help it… As much as I was enjoying my youth the prospect of being Chief one day? It wasn’t guaranteed because I was a Black… but it was certainly a goal. To advocate for my people like that? It was something that I was excited for.

※ Bella ※

“No, I didn’t know that at all. The Irish people were here, and they thought they were going to make a home within the nation? That’s amazing.” The history books at school never spoke these truths I was coming to learn here.

“I’ll have to see if #Sue is willing to help me dig a little into my family history here. I don’t really know much about them.”

Glancing back at my friend I couldn't help but notice the joy as he spoke about his future. He had a plan, knew his path, and was excited about it too?

“Jake, has anyone told you, that you are an old soul? Not many kids your age have an outline of where their life should go.”

Chewing on my bottom lip as I tried to imagine what I would look like, or where I would be in years to come. And my mind stomped down so hard on the image I’d once thought my life would become.

With flushed cheeks, I turned away.

“Right…” Not sure what to say next I continued to clean.

※ Jacob ※

“Yeah in the 1840’s there was a huge amount of immigration from Ireland. They mostly landed in New York… but they dispersed all over the country… and here they took work on fishing boats, and I guess that’s where they started falling in love with the natives… and I guess they understood each other… coming from one colonised area to another, you know?” I was showing my history geekiness now. “But #Sue will definitely help. She loves looking at family histories.”

I smiled at her. She was not the first person to say this to me. “Can’t say I’ve ever heard that before.” I chuckled in a way that told her that; Yes, I had in fact heard that a few times. I watched her drift away and then come crashing back to the present yet again. I put the plate I had been drying into the cupboard. “Has anyone ever told you that you get lost in your own thoughts quite a lot?” I turned her questioning back on her… without asking it in a way that would make her obligated to tell me exactly what she was thinking.

※ Bella ※

Making a mental note of the questions I would love to ask #SueClearwater about trying to find out more about my Swan family members in the history of Forks and La Push because let’s face it people really loved to say they are “part… insert a tribe’s name here…” I didn’t want to be one of ‘those people.’ However, I did want to learn the truth too.

Nodding my head slowly, hearing him acknowledge his old soul. Of course, he knew, that was part of the definition of what I had been attempting to tell him.

“It’s good to know how I’m right.”

My hands worked on cleaning the pasta pan, trying to take my thoughts away from roaming freely too. Until his question jarred me.

“Uhmm… sorry?” Of course, I didn’t need Jake to repeat himself. “Yeah… I guess… maybe…” he had noticed. Jacob was vigilant. “Charlie may have told me once or twice.”

※ Jacob ※

I laughed; she got my sarcasm. Most girls didn’t really get my sense of humour… but she was sort of an old soul herself. I could see the way she reacted to my question, and I wasn’t planning on pressing the issue. I wondered, not for the first time if that Cullen guy was older than her.

After a brief moment of silence, I dropped the towel on the counter. “Oh! I almost forgot the most important part of my cleaning routine!” I made my way to the ancient CD player on a shelf next to the back door. I pressed play on the album that was already in there… not really remembering what was in there exactly. I turned the volume down, so it was just in the background. https://www.youtube.com/embed/NIt0ipWjOrk?feature=oembed&enablejsapi=1&origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&wmode=opaque

Then I took up the towel again and resumed my drying duties. “So, I know the start of the day wasn’t exactly great… with… the beach and everything. But it turned out to be a pretty great afternoon, right?” I tried to sound casual… trying to figure out if Bella would want to hang out like this again… and not just the study sessions we promised #Seth.

※ Bella ※

Smiling half-heartedly because this boy had a contagious laugh, however, some part of me still couldn’t find a way to join in.

At least listening to and seeing Jacob’s reaction gave me hope. Maybe. Just maybe I would remember to laugh without forcing myself. And yet, today I’d found myself laughing and smiling in the company of the Black men.

“Oh? Which pa—“ my words were stuck in my throat. The swell of them made my body stiffen and my shoulders frozen from the sound of music.

Music… of any kind, I’d stopped listening, playing, humming, of searching for it since… he— no.. they— left. And I’d been so diligent about where I went and when so that I missed any and all opportunities to hear it.

I couldn’t speak. My fingers tightened around whatever was in my hands under the water. Until a sharp pain kicked me out of my thoughts. My heart plummeted when I smelt before I saw the blood, feeling my sight blur, and my legs go weak.

‘Bells?’ I heard #Charlie before his hand came around my shoulders. ‘It’s okay.’ Again, I heard his voice but couldn’t take my eyes off my hands. ‘Jake, get the first aid kit.’ I heard from behind, that my dad had stepped away to turn the music off before coming back with a kitchen towel. ‘It’s not deep. You are okay. It’s okay.’

‘How deep is the cut?’ #Billy asked.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean to..” I whispered.

‘We know Bella, you don’t have to apologise for being hurt. It’s okay.’ #Billy said rolling his chair beside me.

※ Jacob ※

It had all happened so fast… but kind of in slow motion too. I wasn’t even really sure how #Charlie knew Bella had been hurt. Did she cry out when she was cut? Did I call for him when the dishwater turned pink?

All I knew was that one minute Bella was answering me and the next I was pulling the first aid kit out from under the bathroom sink and rushing it back to #Charlie. I set it on the table next to him and opened it so he could quickly get anything he needed.

I had no idea what to say… or do, so I stepped back and let Charlie deal with it. But then I remembered when #Embry got hurt in Bella’s back garden… how she turned green when she smelled the blood. So, I went to the sink and pulled out the stopper to drain the bloody water and I ran the tap, wiping it completely clean, and opened the window above it to let in some fresh air.

‘Good idea, Jake.’ Charlie gave me a nod; he was wrapping a white bandage around her hand already. A thick dressing pad over the cut I had barely seen. And I still had no idea what to say.

‘Jacob.’ Dad got my attention gently. ‘Why don’t you fetch Bella some Tylenol from the bathroom? I’m sure that hand hurts.”

“Shouldn’t we take her to the clinic?” I asked.

‘Bella can’t go to the clinic son, you know that.’  He reminded me… Bella wasn’t part of the Nation.

‘I don’t think she needs a doctor; we can take care of this at home. Right, Bella?’ Charlie asked her. ‘Unless you want to. It’s your call.’

※ Bella ※

The world had fallen away from me. I felt hands on my shoulder, and I heard mumbled voices around me. However, my attention remained on not fainting. Not giving into the pull to close my eyes to let go of my ability to be in control. (Not that I had any control in this matter.) Mentally I chastised myself. How had I allowed this to happen? To bleed with people around me, to harm myself with #Charlie so close? To become a damsel who needed to be saved once again?

But then a small voice whispered. ‘This isn’t the same thing. You don’t need to protect them from your blood. You can let go. It’s fine.’ And still, I couldn’t see how it was 𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗲.

‘We can take care of this at home, right, Bella?’ #Charlie pressed his fingers into my wrist. ‘It’s just a small war wound. Something to match your little half-moon.’ His attempt to bring me out from the shell I had unknowingly retreated into.

“Yeah… yes.. of course…” plastering a fake smile on my lips. “Yes. It’s okay. Nothing big. I’m just… will… all of you know what I am like.” Brushing off the uncontrollable urge to take the attention off myself.

“I’m sorry, it was a moment of losing my train of thought. Nothing more or less.” I closed my fist at the same time as both the dads called out to not.

“Ouch… okay… that wasn’t the best idea.” The bandage #Charlie had placed was enough to keep me from bleeding all over the kitchen.

“I’m sorry Jake..” seeing that he had been the one to clean up my mess.

※ Jacob ※

I listened to #Charlie… he seemed sure he could look after her at home. And the way he said it made me believe him. I mean… he’s a Police Chief… he must have gotten hurt at times right? Bella apologised for the mess and shook me from the thoughts.

“You don’t need to apologise for bleeding… Besides, it was in the sink so really it was the most convenient place possible, when you think about it…” Dad cleared his throat really loudly.  And the look on his face told me this was not the time for a joke. I was just trying to break the tension; I knew she hated to be the centre of attention.

I stopped and moved back to stand by the table. “Um… I can have someone drive your truck back to Forks if you want to go back with your Dad, Bella.” I offered, and a look from #Charlie had me adding. “By a licensed driver. I promise.”

※ Bella ※

If there was a positive outcome from this it was the unreal sound of me laughing a little. Because only I could spoil a positively good night with bleeding and almost fainting.

“Sorry… it’s… it was funny,” I told my dad and #Billy whose eyes were filled with confusion. “No. It’s okay. Thanks, Jake but I’m sure I can drive my truck back.” At the same time, #Charlie pressed down into my palm sending a sharp sting through my veins. “Dad! Ouch!”

He shook his head mirroring my incredulity. However, for a different purpose. ‘Yeah, I thought so.’ Standing up he continued ‘You aren’t driving back tonight. It’s raining, and the roads are slippery. You aren’t going to be able to react fast enough if something runs out in front of you.’

He plays a hand on Jacob’s shoulder. ‘Thanks for dinner kid. I’m sorry to cut the evening off like this. But we should head home before Bell's adrenaline rush dissipates and pain takes over.’

#Charlie turned to look at #Billy and me.

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to spoil the night.’ Looking down at my hand sheepishly.

※ Jacob ※

The corners of my mouth pulled up when Bella laughed… making this woman smile or laugh… even when I knew she was hurting too… it felt like achieving a life goal… Every. Single. Time.

I winced when #Charlie poked the bandage he had just wrapped around her palm. But then immediately understood. I gave her dad a nod and told him not to worry about it. “I’ll make sure the truck is dropped back tonight.”

Then I turned to Bella, leaning on the edge of the table and smiling. “We can’t let a little kitchen mishap spoil the memory of the great afternoon and evening Bella. Don’t be sorry, just get a little rest and keep that hand clean. When we talk about this night in a few months we won't even remember this part.” Okay, that was a lie, but not the kind that angered the Spirits…. Right?

Then I had a thought. I went to the fridge and took out the leftovers we had just packed away. “Speaking of rest. Why don’t you guys take this, it’ll give Bella a night off kitchen duty.”

‘You know I can cook right?’ #Charlie insisted. ‘I lived alone for a long time. I don’t eat at the diner every day.’

“Sure… So, leftovers tomorrow and frozen pizza the day after tomorrow.” And this time my father did laugh. Even Charlie chuckled. “C’mon. I’ll take these out to the car, and you can make sure the klutz doesn’t take a tumble.” I waited in the doorway for Charlie to say goodnight to Dad.

※ Bella ※

 “I’ll have to take your word for it, Jake, even if somehow I feel like this one will be something our dad jokes about in time.”

Dad helped me with my coat, the three men were speaking to one another about dinner planning for the next two days.

I wanted to jump in to let them know I could still pull something together, that was until they came to their own conclusions, and I didn’t have time to push back.

As much as I felt bad for taking Jake’s night off from cooking tomorrow, I would make sure I paid him back for dinner somehow. “Thank you. Jake. Billy. For a lovely night.”  Stepping up to the open door, the freezing cold air hit me hard.

Shaking a shiver, Dad called back. ‘Come on Bells, before I have to defrost you too.’ He knew how much I disliked the feeling of being cold and wet. “I’m right behind you.” And I was. Maybe three steps.

‘He’s just impatient to get home before the game reruns start.’ #Billy laughed.

Turning to Jake I squeezed his arm with my uninjured hand. “If you need to talk.” Keeping my voice low. “Just call. Okay. Thank you again for today. For everything.”

※ Jacob ※

I chuckled. “Well, I tried… you’d think a little blood loss would impair your cognitive reasoning skills.” I teased her… I was fairly sure that a skull fracture couldn’t affect her ability to think intelligently.

‘Nah…’ #Charlie smiled faintly. ‘My girl is too tough for that.’

I smiled at #Bella when she spoke only to me… reminded me how seen I was… Something I had only ever had with two people before. But with her… it was different. “I know, Bella... and thank you. For today… even after… well. I really had a lot of fun.” I thought a hug would be too much for her, even just a one-armed bro hug. So, I placed my hand over the back of hers and brushed my thumb over her knuckles once. “C’mon, Let’s get you to the car.” I smiled my best smile and headed to the car with her. I set tubs of food on the back seat, happy to have been able to do something to, hopefully, give her a small respite. “I’ll make sure your truck is home tonight… and I’ll call tomorrow… make sure you haven’t managed to sever a finger in your sleep or something.” I teased her and ran back to Dad watching from inside the door.

※ Bella ※

“Yeah. Because I will be choosing to hold a knife in my sleep!” Rolling my eyes. Knowing anything was possible. So, Jake, Billy, and my dad weren’t wrong in worrying. But still. I needed them to know. I got this. (Even if it didn’t look as tough as I do.)

‘Thanks, Jake. You’re a good kid.’ #Charlie smiled, and waved a hand, before starting the engine of his patrol car.

With the doors closed, and the heat on full, I shivered, warming up. Holding my hand in my lap my eyes trained on the two Black men. Giving a small wave when we pulled out of their drive.

‘That was a good night.’ #Charlie said once we were on the road.

My eyes were in the side mirrors trying to get a last look at my friend. “Yeah, it was.”

‘And you and Jake…’ he trailed off.

“Are friends, dad. And as friends had a good day.” But as we drove further away I could feel all the goodness and the warmth in my life draining away.

‘Good.’ That is all he said. Until I remembered the conversation about Jake’s driving test and the children living on the reservation. So, I brought the topic up with my dad. Who frowned as he listened intently to me.

※ Jacob ※

Dad went in first and I waited until the taillights faded away. Then I went back inside and found where Bella had set her keys down…

‘So…’ Dad’s eyebrows had vanished into his hairline. He was blocking the kitchen door with his chair.

“So…” I tilted my head. Was I in trouble or something?

‘You like the girl…’ It wasn't a question.

“Of course, everyone likes Bella.” I scoffed like that was obvious.

‘Jacob…’ He paused. ‘She’s been through a lot.’ I nodded. ‘She’s older than you.’

Now I rolled my eyes…  “Like, two years Dad… and that doesn't matter. We're just friends.”

He just stared, his mouth a thin line. “Fine… 𝕤𝕙𝕖 just wants to be 𝕞𝕪 friend.”

‘And you’re okay with that?’ Was he testing me?

“Shouldn’t I be? She can hardly stand to be hugged, there’s no way she’s interested in…” I sighed. “… me… other than a friend.”

‘She’s a good girl, she needs a friend.’ He rolled backwards out of the doorway. He hit me lightly in the ankle as I moved past and laughed. ‘For now, at least.’ He winked at me.

“Spirits, Dad… Sometimes I swear I’m the only adult in this house.” I shook my head and moved to the phone.

‘Gotta keep the spirit young somehow my son.’ He vanished to the living room.

I picked up the phone. There were a few people I could call about the truck, but I found myself dialling the Call house. “Hey Mama T,” I said when #Embry’s mom answered.

‘Hi Jake, sweetie… everything okay?’ She asked.

“Sort of… um… is … he home?”

‘He just got in, but I don’t think….’

I cut her off. “Can you tell him that Bella’s hurt?... Please.”

‘Jake… I… Is she okay….’

I heard a rustling and then a gasp… Was #Tiffany afraid? ‘This better not be a joke, Black.’ It was #Embry.

“It's not. She was here for dinner, and we were washing up…”

‘Cut to the chase. Is Bella okay?’

“Yeah… She will be but she cut her hand and couldn’t drive her truck home. #Charlie was on me about my license at dinner and I need someone with a license to drive her truck b-“

‘Leave the keys in the ignition. I’ll drop it off later.’

“Should I get someone to pick you up after?”

‘I’ll handle it. If you can’t keep her safe maybe you should rethink taking her on tours of the rez, Jake. Just leave the keys in the truck.’ The line went dead before I could take a breath to respond, and my throat felt like it was closing. My body felt heavy as I dragged out to the truck and left the keys in the ignition. No one would come near it on our property… Not until #Embry collected it.

Then I shut myself up in my room with my headphones on full volume for the rest of the night. I turned over the details in my head repeatedly. I should have called #Quil… but I didn’t know what to tell him about seeing #Embry today.

※ Bella ※

When I finally made my way down the stairs after showering, all the lights in the house were off. Flashing images on the TV told me #Charlie had once again fallen asleep on the couch.

Silently I made my way around to see him, my dad’s face lit up with the colours of the ads playing on the infomercials.

I couldn't help but feel how lucky I was. Recalling the way, he listened to me speaking on the ride home. The way he squeezed my shoulder at the steps telling me to leave the issues, with the driving instructors and testers with him. How he promised to look into the matter. My dad had such an open heart. But like me couldn’t always vocalise his words. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

I draped a blanket over him, not having it in my heart to wake him up after the long day he had when the sound of my truck had my head turned towards the front windows.

The lights blinded me for a moment, I lifted my arm to cover my eyes. Dad turned his body and face away from the light, pulling the blanket up to his chin. Muttering to himself, however, he didn’t wake.

My heart sped up a little. Wondering who Jake had sent to drive the beast home. It was late. Could Jake be in there too?

Quietly I tiptoed towards the front windows, only seeing one shadowed figure in the cabin. “Dammit Jake. Charlie is going to kill you if you drive.” I was at the front door, pulling my big coat on before stepping into my boots and opening the door.

The cold air of the night made me shiver to my bones, that was until I took the steps down and came banging into a brick wall.

“What the—“

The words cut off when two stone arms came around my body to stop me from bouncing back and falling.

‘Careful there, Bella.’ I knew that voice. Even with the dark night. The small light from the porch showed me the warm smile I missed seeing today.

“Embry? You? Here?” He set me up on my feet, half smiling before remembering he didn’t like me anymore.

My heart sank when his smile broke, and the boy I knew days ago was gone. He cleared his throat, his nose crinkled when his eyes shot around us. ‘Yeah… How is your hand?’ He finally asked his eyes returning to me.

Holding it up, to show him the bandage. “It was touch and go, but they said I will survive.” Trying to make light of the fact I once again let my klutziness show its face.

‘It’s not funny.’ He shot back.

“What do you care.” I shot right back, now crossing my arms over my front.

‘I… Bella!” He growled. Embry Call growled at me!

“Very mature, Embry. What a Way to use your words, and be so polite and articulate.” I cuffed. Then I remembered. Sure, I was angry at him. And sure, he really upset me today. However, it was Embry. Jake must have called him. Jake loved this boy, even if he was being pig-headed right now. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

He stood there, his eyes on me. Locked in, and not distracted like before. ‘Jake was worried about you. Here.’ He lifted my hand free from in front of me. Placing the keys in it before closing my palm around them.

“Sure. Jake was worried about me. That’s why you are being a jerk?” I did it again. Rubbing my eyes with my free hand. My eyes shot up to him. Because he was laughing. The boy had grown. He was taller than me before. But now. He really was bigger, muscular, and so much taller.

‘Trust you for calling out my shit.’ He rubbed the back of his head.

“Yeah. Well. You were a jerk today. To me is fine. I get it. You hate me. But Jake. He didn’t deserve what you did and said to him. That wasn’t how you should treat your best friends.”

His eyes dropped to my hand; he was still holding it. Thinking. Fighting. Trying to make sense of my conversation with him maybe?

‘It’s the only way, Bella. I need to keep him safe.’ Now his eyes met mine. ‘And you… he can’t be safe around you.’

I pulled my hand away fast. My heart sank, my nerves fried, my eyes burning and furious. “What… me…Unsafe? No!!” I shook my head frantically. No.. no.. no… I wasn’t expecting this. “I would never hurt Jake. Never!” I pushed my fingers into his chest. It felt like a rock, he didn’t move.

‘Not knowingly.’ He looked around. ‘But tell me the truth, Bella.’ His eyes met mine again. ‘When were the Cullens around last?’ He sniffed the air.

That was it. That name. The mention of whom sent my world spinning. Tears pooled in my eyes. Fear dragging its broken nails down my soul.

“Ho… Wh…” Shaking my head vigorously at the question.

I didn’t know when I took the steps back away from Embry. When my feet tripped over an obstacle on the path. When Embry’s arms darted out to catch me again. ‘See… You can’t even stay safe in your own house.’

Something cracked at that moment. Embry was a blanket of heat, warmth, and light. And me. I was darkness. Cold. Lost. And maybe I was a leech who wanted to take more than she deserved.

He set me back on my feet. Taking a few steps back away. His eyes told me one thing, and his lips another. ‘We can’t help you here Bella. But. You can help Jake. I don’t hate him. He is my brother. I want him to be happy and safe. Which he can’t with you.’ And then he was gone.

I stood there frozen, my body shaking, watching Embry running off into the dark where three shapes waited in the shadows.

‘Bells? Who was that?’ #Charlie’s voice came from behind. Shocking me out of my stupor.

Rubbing my eyes, cheeks, and face clear of the tears which had fallen free. “Just…” I cleared my throat when it cracked. “Just Embry. Jake sent him.”

‘Ah. He is a good kid. Come inside. You’ll catch your death.’

Little did he know. Death has cut me a million times. Or that is how I felt by Embry’s words.

[blazingtheway]

Everyone’s Broken and I’ve Got This Missing Piece - Storyline 20 - Together

"I love the way your hair falls in the summer. I'll treat you like your father treats your mother, and I'm kinda scared of your older brother."

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Coughs.

“Stalker much?” Smirks

•- Embry Call -•

“Are you shocked about the stalking or about how long it’s taken me to find you here?”

Grins. Knowing the answer.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Raising my eyebrow. “You know which is the most shocking? Just went I was about to call out a Friday man. Here you are.”

Smirks and winks.

•- Embry Call -•

Looks around.

“Well then I’m just in time… no one else is here! I must have beaten the Friday guy. And just so you know the Saturday and Sunday guys asked me to fill in for them.” Smirks.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Laughs.

“Oh. Really… Did they now… I call it poor service on their end. I’ll need to have some words. Pawning off their duty isn’t good form.”

•- Embry Call -•

“It’s not on you… they just feel like I provide a better quality…” Eyes her. “Service. And even though they’ll be sad not to see you… they know you only deserve the best.”

Waving my hands up and down to display the goods. “So, they sent me.” Grins.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

“Oh, I know it’s not me. Have you seen this face? I’m a gift from the Spirits. So, it’s always them and not me.”

Smirking.

“Hmm…. I mean….” Turning my finger in a circle telling him to turn around for me. “I could have fun with you I guess.”

•- Embry Call -•

Of course, I did a little turn for her. Maybe flexed a little under the tight t-shirt.

“You guess?” quirking a brow. “I better get to work easing those doubts.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Pressing my lips together to stop me from smirking or even laughing. Because I’d expect pushback from this. But he was doing it and flexing too!

“Hmm…. Just so you know… you may need to put in the overtime too. Maybe into Monday.”

•- Embry Call -•

“I’ve never been afraid of a little over time?”

Running my gaze up and down. “Especially when the task is so pleasing to the eye.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Smirking, I pressed my lips together again. “Are you telling me, or asking me? Because it sounds like you’re not sure.”

Tilting my head to let my hair fall down freely. Knowing he enjoyed the sight of it.

•- Embry Call -•

“All I’m questioning is why you still have weekday guys at all…. You know I'm just...” I smirked and eyed her.

“Better suited for the task… these humans. They just don't have the stamina… or the heat.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Pressing my lips together, so I didn’t laugh. My eyebrow curved up in a perfect arch.

“Hmm… You make an interesting point, Dimples.”

He knew it was just teasing. There was no one else. Only him. But I wasn’t going to say it.

•- Embry Call -•

I grinned wide.

“Okay then, glad we settled that. I'll inform the rest that their services are no longer required. Don't worry I already have their names, phone numbers and addresses. And a couple of grainy photos some weirdo took from the bushes.”

I laughed… if she wanted to play I could play. She'd been all mine for a while now. And that was a two-way street.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Blinking at the camera joke, and the rest now that I thought about it.

“Spirits, they knew what they were doing when they made you, Embry Call.”

Shaking my head, but the sound of his laughter was contagious making me laugh too.

“You’re such a Wisearse, and I know… I know… you are aware and proud of the fact. But it seems like a good time to point it out again.”

•- Embry Call -•

I couldn't help but laugh again. “I may be a Wisearse, Trouble.”

I bit my lip with intention, quirking a brow.

“But I'm your Wisearse… and that sounds like a pretty good deal to me.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

“My Wisearse?” My lips curled up into a smirk which turned into a smile. Something came alive in my stomach before I controlled it and pushed it down.

“I think we should look at tattooing that line on you somewhere.” Hundred percent joking. Because that wasn’t going to happen.

•- Embry Call -•

Both brows lifted now, stands of hair falling into my face.

“Hmm… interesting thought…” I reached for the hem of my shirt. “Should we choose a location now… or later?”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Rushing forward my hand stopping his from moving any further. I darted my gaze around the place.

“No… no we don’t need to pick a location for it right here and now.” Now when I glanced at him I noticed how his hair had grown. “I was thinking of your forehead anyway.” Winking.

•- Embry Call -•

I smirked. Twisting my hand to grip her wrist and pull her in. “Really? You wanna mess with this face?” I chuckled and peppered hers with light playful kisses.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Growing up, with a snap of my teeth, I caught his lips and kissed him once. “I don’t like sharing. It’s becoming clearer. So, why not?” Smiling that smile only he was allowed to see.

•- Embry Call -•

I smiled wide at that sexy snap. “Sharing… not an option. I do not consent to being shared… and you know: Consent is sexy!” I released the hem of my shirt and wrapped that arm around her instead.

“Your eyes only.” I chuckled and kissed each eyelid. “With or without a tattooed forehead.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Laughter escaped my lips, with a badarse roll of my eyes too just before he kissed them closed. Because I knew that he knew that I stole his line.

“So, what I am hearing…” my arms around his waist, hooking my fingers into his belt. “The tattoo is still on the table.”

•- Embry Call -•

I laughed out loud. “Sure… but only I get to put you on a table and have free reign.”

I smirked. “But there be no needles involved.”

Waggling my brows.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Pulling back to look at him with a raised eyebrow, until his meaning sunk in.

“Do you take me for a fool? It’s an uneven deal. You would get so much more out of it than me.”

•- Embry Call -•

I arched my brow. “Okay… I'll sweeten the deal… after I'm done I’ll make you scream my name on that table…” I smirked.

“You can pick any song you want, and I will play it for you. If I don't know it... I'll learn it. For you.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

My warrior was shouting to ‘Take the deal! Take the deal!’ But I was reminded still. Even if internally, I felt every muscle in my body tighten and hum.

“Interesting… Let me consider it…”

She fell flat inside, rolling onto her side and snapped at me for being no fun.

•- Embry Call -•

I leaned in close to her ear. My fingers twisted into my shirt at her sides. “On the piano,” I whispered.

Utterly confident this would seal the deal.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

I worked my jaw. Closing my eyes when I felt the warmth of his breath on my skin and his whisper in my ear. He knew me. By the spirits, he knew me well enough to know this would work.

“D… E… A… L!”

‘Finally!’ She growled making me smirk.

•- Embry Call -•

I grinned. Far too pleased with myself.

“What’s first? The tattoo parlour, the table or the music?”

I pressed a kiss below her ear then stepped back and held out my hand for her to take and lead me towards her choice.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Even with a strong shiver working its way from the spot of the kiss, it took no time to say.

“Music, music always comes first.” Giving him a look and telling him he should have known.

Lacing my fingers into his. With a small nod towards where his Nana’s guitar sat.

•- Embry Call -•

I smiled at how she took my hand without even thinking about it. I squeezed her fingers to let her know I'd noticed and walked with her.

"Do you have a song in mind, I did say any song of your choice." I grinned, only slipping my hand from hers to open the case and admire the beautiful instrument.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Letting his hand go, I walked away backwards thinking. “No. I want you to play what you feel right now.” When he played the first cord. It always gave me a sense of peace knowing the song without knowing he was going to play it.

“I’m grabbing some beers.” Walking off barefooted.

•- Embry Call -•

It was her usual choice… but it was hers to make. And she made the one that gave me the most joy, to play what I felt. So, I played before she’d stepped back into the room. A song I knew would give her just as much joy.

And I sang. Just to convince her not to tattoo my forehead… not because I was a singer! Nope. Not at all.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

My feet stopped on their own accord. The first cord did it. The words danced in my mind and over my lips. The lips which curled up into a smile, only for him and only without our bubble.

Continuing towards the kitchen, my bare feet stopped before the fridge, taking out two cold ones.

Humming a little. But mostly I listened.

𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱

𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗴𝗼 𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴

𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱

𝗕𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗿𝗲𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗺𝗲

𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗮 𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗴𝗼 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗿𝗲𝗱….

•- Embry Call -•

I smiled. She was hiding in the kitchen I had the glass bottle click. But I just kept singing, she’d be back.

𝕀 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕒𝕪 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕙𝕒𝕚𝕣 𝕗𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕤 𝕚𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕖𝕣

𝕀'𝕝𝕝 𝕥𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕗𝕒𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕥𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕞𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣

𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕀'𝕞 𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕕𝕒 𝕤𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕠𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣 𝕓𝕣𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣

𝕆𝕙 𝕪𝕖𝕒𝕙

The thing about lyrics they always be made to fit to any situation.

𝕐𝕠𝕦'𝕣𝕖 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕀'𝕞 𝕟𝕖𝕖𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘

𝕐𝕠𝕦'𝕣𝕖 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕀'𝕞 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘

𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕀'𝕝𝕝 𝕓𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥'𝕤 𝕜𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕤𝕔𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕘

𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕘𝕠 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Listening intently, I twisted the two bottle caps off. Throwing them into recycling. But then I stopped. My eyebrows pulled into a frown because he sang the song wrong.

“And I'm kinda scared of your 𝕆𝕝𝕕𝕖𝕣 brother...” and then I laughed softly. He’d made the song work for us? Shaking my head as I returned to the living room. His voice and the sound of the guitar took over every morsel of air in the room. And I wondered, was he scared of #TheKid? My younger brother adored this man.

Setting his bottle down on the coffee table. I clinked out bottles, my eyes not drifting always as the words began to take a sharp turn and form before me.

“𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙣𝙙

𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧

𝙒𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙡𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙨 𝙞𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩'𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙤

𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙄 𝙘𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙, 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙩 𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙨 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨

𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙄'𝙢 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙯𝙞𝙣𝙜, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙢𝙮 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙨 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙨𝙤 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙤𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪…”

•- Embry Call -•

I smiled at her correction from the other room. So much so that I missed a note... but never a chord. But then she was sitting there, beer in hand and singing too. I sang a line or two with her and then stopped to admire her voice.

But there was one line I had to sing with her.

"...𝔹𝕦𝕥 𝕞𝕪 𝕔𝕝𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕤 𝕤𝕠 𝕘𝕠𝕠𝕕 𝕠𝕟 𝕪𝕠𝕦

𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕪 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕞𝕪 𝕙𝕒𝕚𝕣 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖'𝕤 𝕟𝕠 𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣

𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕀'𝕞 𝕟𝕠 𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣 𝕤𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕠𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 𝕓𝕣𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣

ℍ𝕖 𝕤𝕒𝕚𝕕, "𝕨𝕖'𝕣𝕖 𝕔𝕠𝕠𝕝, 𝕞𝕒𝕟, 𝕀 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕙𝕖𝕣"

𝕆𝕙 𝕪𝕖𝕒𝕙

𝕀'𝕝𝕝 𝕘𝕖𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕚𝕟 𝕝𝕠𝕒𝕕𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕓𝕝𝕖

𝔾𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕠𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕕𝕠𝕦𝕓𝕝𝕖

𝕎𝕖 𝕔𝕒𝕟 𝕘𝕖𝕥 𝕕𝕣𝕦𝕟𝕜 𝕒𝕟𝕕

𝕆𝕦𝕣 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕤 𝕔𝕒𝕟 𝕘𝕖𝕥 𝕞𝕦𝕕𝕕𝕝𝕖𝕕

ℕ𝕠 𝕔𝕚𝕘𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖 𝕤𝕞𝕠𝕜𝕖 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕓𝕦𝕣𝕤𝕥 𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 𝕓𝕦𝕓𝕓𝕝𝕖

𝕆𝕙 𝕟𝕠"

•- Leah Clearwater -•

My lips curl up into the smile only Embry Call had witnessed as I let him take the song by himself.

Heat crawled itself up the side of my neck as the meaning of how he was singing to me. Then I took the last of it.

𝙏𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙙

𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙜𝙤 𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜

𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙩𝙖𝙡𝙠 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙨 𝙤𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙

•- Embry Call -•

I played out the rest of the song, the only thing keeping me from biting my lip as I watched that hint of blush spread up from her collar were the lyrics coming out of my mouth as easily as breathing. I knew this song like the back of my hand.

When the last note faded into the breeze coming through her window I smiled at her.

“I guess that means you approve of my choice then?” I said, still balancing the guitar on my knee.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

He always found a way to turn any song into his own, and this was what I needed to see. To feel. To understand. By asking Embry to pick the song, he gave me insight into where his mind went, and how his soul felt, and he was never disappointed.

Raising my eyebrow at him, I sat back on my couch, curling my long legs under myself. “When have you known me not to approve? You can never be wrong when you are asked to play what is in your heart.”

My gaze moved over the way he sat there with his Nana’s guitar on his lap.

•- Embry Call -•

I smiled at her. She knew that music was a way for me to say things that I had no words for... it was a strange sensation for me. I was used to saying what I felt and thought... and now, there never seemed to be any words strong enough for those feelings.

So... Music.

"Oh, I get it now!" I   smirked at her. "Letting me pick the sang is your version of me getting behind those walls." I pointed two fingers to my eyes and then hers. "I see you, Trouble. I see you."

•- Leah Clearwater -•

“Took you long enough. A little soft of the uptake as always, Call.”

I just wink with a smirk on my lips. He had to have known this, it wasn’t a secret I hid from him. But really, some part of it was more about me than Embry. Asking for a song felt too intrusive. Giving him the choice felt right.

 Bringing the cold bottle of beer to my lips, I took a pull before setting it down. Holding it would make the beer warmer far too fast for the evening vibe I was on.

“I’ve stopped hiding within the bubble, Dimples. So… see all you want.”

So, yes. It had to be true…

“Evolution…” This time a pull from the bottle allowed the cold bitter liquor to flow down my throat and into my stomach.

“We would need to have something to do for our journey this far. Shining lights in dark places has become a huge problem you know.” Teasing him of course.

•- Embry Call -•

“And she says she doesn’t have a way with words.” I smiled at her. That one only she ever saw. “But I will disagree with one thing… I teased, knowing she meant it only as an observation. “It’s not a problem. Shining a light on all those dark places…” I grew a little more thoughtful.

“Bringing those secrets out of the dark… some are difficult, some are even joyful things we put away for whatever reason. But they are all better shared. Maybe not with the world, but with someone you trust because they’ve shared their shadowed place too.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Setting the beer down on the side table, I didn’t want it going warm in my hands. My mind became thoughtful now. His statements always had a way of making me think about what he wanted me to see from another view.

His smile, of course, gave the man sitting across from me such a brightness I couldn’t imagine his darkness at that moment. Even though I witnessed it first-hand.

“So, what you are telling me is…. We need a mix of both. For us, we see the difference between what should be left in the dark, and what we should leave out there too?”

•- Embry Call -•

Now she was asking the tough questions.… I took a long drink from the bottle. “Yeah, I guess… but it needs to be the right person too.” I paused sitting forward on the arm of the chair. “I mean… look at the secret I shared with you. If I'd shared that with someone else it could have been a totally different situation. What I did, what I made Jake do to hide it. Someone else would have reacted badly and I don't know where I would be right now if you'd reacted differently.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Eyebrows pulled together in a thoughtful expression, trying to understand the point he was making. And I wasn’t surprised by the fact that I did. I knew better than most how your life can change by someone else’s perspective of your life and the direction you choose to take.

“Okay… I get it. It’s not about the honesty or the facts you share. It’s about knowing who the right person is. Good or bad, it’s about trusting your instincts and understanding what they say could change your life?” It came as a question, but I meant it as a statement.

•- Embry Call -•

I smiled at her. “That… and you know… timing,” I remembered Seattle. Forcing myself not to wince when that knife-like memory of the disgusting excuse of a human connected a blow to her ribs.

“Like you showing up at my mom’s house… or me showing up… well, you know.” it was the way she owned her that made me realise it was time to start owning mine and sure… only she knew… other than #Jake and then I knew #Quil had some idea, but he wouldn’t push. He would just be there.

“Trust, instinct… we pretend we hone these skills of time and I'm sure life experience plays a part, but really all of. These things…it's all actions and reactions.

And you never get a second chance at a first reaction.”

I remembered storming into her living room and yelling, I had a choice rage, shame or humility that day. Only one was right. And I chose wrong.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Dragging another pull from my beer, because the inside by him was loud and clear. The spirits had thought it was funny (not really, but it felt that way.), To show the two of us what our eyes had missed.

We both crossed paths in a way that hadn’t happened by accident. I didn’t believe in coincidences at all. There is always a reason for it all.

When he made the choice to open up to me, the spirits showed him what I’d been doing alone. Showed us both how in some ways our lives had been on the same parallel existence.

Seeing him that night, his scent hidden in the crown who came to see the underground fight, but my warrior and I found him still. Saw his face, his eyes. The shock of me being in the ring….

Letting out a “Hmm…” I nod my head. I got it. I understood. “Sometimes, you need to give people a second chance. Let them go through their emotions before the brain cells kick in.”

•- Embry Call -•

I smiled at her; Leah was all about second chances. And third. If she knew your motives were pure…. There was no mistake she couldn't forgive. Unpure… you might get one more try. Both would earn you an arse-kicking and a lesson. I chuckled at the thought.

“Second chances are a must… but that’s something that you give to others… when you react wrong to something; flying off the handle or spiral, we do that to ourselves as much as the person on the receiving end. Sure, you can ask for a second chance, but you can't take it back. Disappointing someone else can be fixed if you put in the work. Disappointing yourself… it's a lot harder.”

I smiled at her though. “But self-forgiveness… it's possible. Someone taught me that recently.” Even if she still refused to grant it to herself. But this… it was something I could live for her to see, to recognise its possibilities. “It's fucking hard… but it's possible.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

My eyes shot up to his, and next time his words hit a target I hadn’t thought possible.

By the spirits, I swear my heart stopped, and I clenched my jaw. He wasn’t wrong. In the Name of the Spirits! Embry Call wasn’t wrong! And here, now, like this, he was making me look into a mirror. (It’s how I felt at least.)

Clenching my jaw again, my fingers tapped on the side of the bottle in my hand. The beads of condensation trickled down the sides to fall over my fingers.

What could I say? I wouldn’t lie, I wouldn’t hide. It was the deal to make it work, to keep our bubble safe. “It’s…. Harder….” It was, forgiving others was easy. But yourself? No… I couldn’t do it so easily.

“Maybe….” My throat felt dry because I couldn’t even face myself to say maybe someday forgiveness would come. Because I didn’t know if it would.

•- Embry Call -•

I could see the internal struggle; she had her own process. It was something Leah could move through in her own time. “It is, and it's personal...

I rested my hand on hers and laced our fingers. “Harder… but not impossible.” I offered her a smile. “And... there is no time limit,” I said, knowing what she was thinking. But Leah’s journey was always going to be hers, on her terms. Exactly like it should be.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Seeing how our hands came together was always telling. It told the story of the journey we were on, the lessons we had learnt, the faith I had in him. To allow him so close, that he didn’t think twice when telling me I had been missing something valuable.

“Hmm…” nodding my head slowly, biting the inside of my cheeks.

I let my thumb roam over the back of his hands. And then turning them upside down, I felt those telling calluses. They told me of a story too. Of his road to being threading, with the guidance of those who believed in him.

•- Embry Call -•

Staying quiet and letting her process her thoughts, not asking her what she was thinking or trying to talk through it was difficult for me. I spent a lot of time supporting the pups and they were talkers. That was because I had pushed them to talk about things... so they didn't end up how I did.

Surrounded by people I cared about and who cared about me... but still felt isolated enough that I walked the dark path I walked.

But for Leah... I (almost) always managed to let her have her moments. I smiled when she turned my hand over tracing the callouses on my skin. "Are you starting to wish that you learned to play before shifting?" I grinned. Because I had certainly noticed no matter how much she practised her fingertips were always soft against my skin.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

My fingers didn’t stop. “Hmm…” asking his question. “Yes and no.” Gathering my thoughts as I sat beside him. “I’m not sure I was ready for it back then. But if I had… I would find myself lost in that world more than this.”

Everything happened for a reason. “The spirits knew I had to work hard, or they waited to show me this path and choice.”

I still didn’t look up into his eyes. “Even if I really found myself at peace whenever your mom played. And I caught myself stopping to listen.”

•- Embry Call -•

I smiled, because more and more lately it was becoming clear that life was all about timing. “Yeah… it's all in the timing…” I smiled. “Plus, if you learned before… then it wouldn’t be me who got to teach you. And after learning so much from you over the years… I finally get to give a little back.”

Okay, sure I gave her a lot more than music lessons… but this was something else… something that I could have given her without the intense bond we formed along the path. “You don’t need to play music to truly love it. It speaks to everyone… whether they play an instrument or not.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

“You give plenty back, Embry.” Now my brown eyes moved to find him and did right away. “Even if I don’t give you credit for it.” My mind listed the number of times he’d stepped up and picked up where no one else could or would.

“I know. Music… it speaks a language you have to feel here.” One hand moved to my chest, tapping out the rhythm playing behind my chest cage.

“Not everyone unfortunately understands it, but those who do… they are most certainly aware of it everywhere.”

I found myself shaking my head. “When did we become so philosophical?”

•- Embry Call -•

“I know…” I gave her a smile I hoped made it clear that I truly did. She always found ways to make me feel appreciated…. Valued. No matter what she did or didn't say. “But those lessons… they're something outside of our bubble…” Sure we weren't really talking about it to anyone else. “Something apart from our other... Explorations.” I fished around for the word.

“Something we could do no matter what path we'd chosen… they would always fit. I guess it's like the one thread… that fits into every possible version of our story.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

“Hmm…” I hadn’t thought of it like this. Yes, anything thing he brought to this invisible table of ours. Helping me to see the universe with fresh eyes.

“I like that, thinking that no matter what. You’d find your way.” Nodding my head once. As I asked my warrior and she agreed too.

“All in the of Evolution, Embry Call… all in the name of evolution.”

•- Embry Call -•

I smiled at her. “I don’t think either of us can deny our paths were laid to bring us together… we had a lot of turns to choose from. But I think we chose the best one.”

I thought about all the ways it could have gone. It made me smile. “Grandmother had big plans and I think we say with certainty that they all ended up with us in each other's life in a big way… she just gave us the option of what that was going to look like.”

I rested my hand over hers and felt her tapping out that beat was her heartbeat… her soundtrack. “What it was going to sound like.” I grinned, recalling with perfect clarity the sounds I could coax for her.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Letting Embry’s hand rest on mine I glanced to the window and then back to him. I knew it was true. There were no doubts in my head at all. But still. It was moments like now I had to say, “Still Real.”

Smirking a little I turned my attention back to him fully. “She’s a crafty one. She likes to keep everyone guessing, but her kindness and openness also show everyone where she is heading. If they want to look.”

The smile playing on my lips was one he brought to life. And one I only shared with him.

•- Embry Call -•

I smiled, those words… they meant everything. Reminding us, that we were here, we chose this… we took every twist and turn together. We were still fascinated by all of this, even now with all of your little routines… everything still felt new and thrilling.

“Still real, Trouble.” I whispered with a smile. “Always real.”

I listened to what she said about Grandmother… “You when I first started to hear them reaching out to me I never thought it would be Grandmother… but at the same time, I wasn’t at all shocked. Does that make any sense?”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

My eyes darted up to find his, and they did. Right away. The warmth which always found a way to show my thoughts crawled up the side of my neck because even today the reaction to him reminded me of the same as the first night Embry kissed me.

Shaking my head out of the past I spoke softly.  “We don’t choose them; they are the ones who know we need them, and they come.”

I knew this feeling of his so well. “And I get it. I didn’t expect #TheGreatWolf to show up to smack me upside the head.”

Motioning for him to continue his thoughts.

•- Embry Call -•

“We definitely don’t… I mean look at my history and for whatever reason the protector of female spirits has a plan for me?” It still baffled me. “It doesn’t shock me that he had a path for you… it was always clear there was a big plan for you… even if I was too dumb to see that at first.” I ran my hand through my hair and settled next to her, settling my arm over her shoulder and shifting closer until we were fitted perfectly side by side.

“Besides… no one else could bring us down this path… the plans he has for you are going bring the packs back together, bring us into the world we live in now, not our great-grandparents' generation. Protecting people will always be what we do but… how we do it… that’s evolved… especially in the last decade.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Shifting forward, I pulled my hair out of the way as his arm came around to rest on my shoulders. And here lay a testament to how we had grown. His arm was around me, and it was still attached to him. Evolution!

“I have a theory about you and her.” Pointing out the windows, even if she was hidden behind the clouds. We knew she was there and watching.

“Do you think it’s because of your mom?” Resting into his side until we were comfortable. “I mean, we all know Grandmother protects the female souls. She guides them and shows them the way. But with you… and Ms C… I just….” What was I trying to say? “The sacrifice and strength of your mom, meant she ensured your protection no matter where you went?”

I went silent as his assessment of my relationship with my spirit guide, and the way things were evolving for all of us. But pushed it to the side. There was so much to unravel.

•- Embry Call -•

I thought about what she said… remembering that night I saw Her.  “It's definitely possible…  but I don’t think it's just her. When I first saw her, she looked like my Nana… but she changed. She was Mom. #Sue… #SarahBlack, you… the twins, my old music teacher, and a dozen other faces that I think were all of you, at different ages and times… I’m certain I saw the seventeen-year-old version of Rachel that I crushed on when I was thirteen.” I laughed softly. “All the women that had ever fought my corner… I’m not saying there weren’t men who impacted my life too. Maybe she decided they needed a hand and stepped in to help them all out.”

She was quiet for a moment, and I let it stretch out around us. “I think there’s been a bigger picture here for a long time. Maybe at the start, I wasn’t part of it, until paths crossed, and courses changed… but… Maybe I am supposed to be a part of this journey with you.” Then I laughed again. “It sounds a little self-important when I say it out loud…”

Comparing the things, I was seeing and feeling with becoming an Alpha? There was no comparison with the responsibilities Leah was destined to shoulder.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

“Don’t do that,” I said right away when he laughed. Because in this laughter I felt self-deprecation and not the evolution we both knew he had begun to develop.

“Don’t underestimate yourself and your ability to give what is needed on this journey we call life.” He’d done it all his life. Questioned his birth and his place in his tribe.

“I know I never stopped you when I should have before. But I am now.” I knew it came out harsher than I intended. But I couldn’t help it. And I wasn’t going to apologise for it. I didn’t know when my hand found his over my shoulder, but I was aware of my fingers lacing into it across my chest.

“I can’t tell you how to decipher her meaning. That’s what this path is all about. What I may see, and what you see are going to be different, mean different things. But I do know. It all means something in the end.”

Turning my face to look at him. “Even if you’re seeing your beautiful teenage crush.” Smirking a little. I knew the Black twins were the dreams of many boys and girls. And who could blame them?

•- Embry Call -•

My first instinct was to correct her and downplay it… but this was Leah… and we didn’t do that. Not anymore. So, I gave it a minute to sink in and I turned to press a kiss to her hair. “I’m not sure why I do that… but… I’m working on it.” I said softly.

“I think by showing me all the women that impacted my life she was showing me where her strength comes from, in a way I could relate to it…”  I squeezed her then and chuckled. “And don’t be jealous… I saw my beautiful current crush too.” As if Leah would ever stoop to something like jealousy. “I always saw how hard the women on the rez worked… for their friends, their families… the community. I took it for granted. Especially my mom… but not anymore.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

It earned him an elbow in the stomach, of course.

“As if I would be jealous of the twins. They are beautiful women. But… keep reminding Paul you crushed on his imprint. Let’s see how he tries to break your neck.” Smirking. “And I wouldn’t even jump in, because we don’t do that.”

Pretending to write a note in the air. “Buy more popcorn for the show.”

Smiling, I closed my eyes. Letting his kiss sink in.

“What’s changed for you? I mean. Opening your eyes to what was unseen doesn’t come without consequences. But for you, it sounds like you’re just taking it in your stride.”

•- Embry Call -•

I laughed… “Just kids’ stuff… Looking at how happy she is now… It was always meant to be. That much is very clear.” I grinned. “You know now that I think about it… we never butt heads over that. I even saw #Rachel before he did when she came home for that visit. But so much time had passed by then… all that was long forgotten. But everyone stopped teasing us about that crush afterwards.” I chuckled. I hadn’t been the only one guilty of a childhood crush on one of the twins.  “I guess they didn’t want to rock the boat… and they were so great together. Bickering like an old married couple from day one. #Paul struggled a lot with his temper, no one wanted to ruin it for him.”

I thought about her question… So much has changed, and nothing has changed at all. It was more my point of view, that had shifted. “I mean I always knew my mother was a powerhouse. But I guess I realised that’s not just something you are… you aren’t strong because you always were strong. People are strong because they learned to be, they struggled and fought to be strong, and they grew into it. No one is born that way… and Native women… They learn fast and young.” I took a slow breath. “And it can be taken away from any of us in the blink of an eye.”

Okay… so maybe not the blink of an eye… a least not in Mom’s case… but fuck! It sure felt like it.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Resting my head back, I was looking up at the ceiling remembering how Rachel and Paul came together. How they found their footing with each other, and still Paul messed up a few times.

“The main thing is Paul learnt from mistakes, and so did Rach. People forget imprinting does guarantee good times. Life still happens. Those two have learned how to make it work for them.”

Tilting my head to glance at him, I took in and understood everything he shared. “Hmm…” It was true, and the fact that Embry had been aware of the issue, I hoped would help in the long run of things.

•- Embry Call -•

I felt her shift and turned to look at her, meeting those deep, brown eyes with a soft smile. “I guess it doesn’t… but I think they all found it. There’ll be struggles and a little heartache from time to time. But with feelings that strong, it can’t be helped.”

I could see her mind working behind the scenes. “Besides… is it even possible…” I considered the words carefully, but talking about the imprinted couples I was sure she’d be fine with it. “… To love someone if you aren’t afraid to lose it? Can people feel that kind of attachment to something if they know without a single doubt it will always be there?”

Then my mind started to run wild. “I mean we can all love things that are infinite… the Ancestors... the Spirits… any god or deity from religions all over the planet… but everything we love in this world… is finite… it's limited… and People even more so. There are so many ways to lose a person. No matter the bond they share.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Every muscle in my body froze solid. My body reached to the mercy of that word and all the loss I defined it meant to me.

Was it logical? Spirits No.

Did I know? Spirits Yes!

But did it stop the irrational fear from coming to life? Fuck No!

Without saying anything I stood up to make space for myself. Looking around for something, anything to keep the hole in my soul from scratching and ripping my heart out.

Desire to flee began to grow, but her voice soothed the need. To the point that a walk into the kitchen to find my bottle of bourbon would replace the need to run from my own thoughts.

“I’m gonna get a drink. You want one?” I was gone before waiting for a reply. Making a list of the things I needed to do.

1. Get a glass

B. Take out the bourbon

3. Pour two fingers

D. Down it in one.

5. Repeat!

•- Embry Call -•

Shit! As soon as she was gone I dragged my hand through my hair and tipped my head back against the couch. The urge to call after her and say I was sorry was immense… but what was I sorry for? What I had said? No. How she was feeling? No. I didn’t like that she was hurting… but that wasn’t something to be sorry for… The fact that she felt like she needed to feel it in private? Maybe…

Spirits.

I didn’t answer her question. But she had asked it, so I didn’t think she wanted me to leave her alone for the rest of the night. But she knew all she had to do was say so if she needed that… right?

I listened to her moving around the kitchen, I said nothing… giving her space. Space to let me know what she needed… space to feel her feelings… space to (I hoped) remember she could feel those feelings right here with me if she wanted to.

Then the music played in my head; the perfect way to tell her: 

I’m here.

I see all of you.

All your broken and unbroken pieces.

And I wouldn’t change a single one.

I picked up my phone and scrolled until I found it.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Times like this had become few and far between, where I felt like climbing the walls, like running until my heart, legs and chest couldn’t take anymore and then keep going.

Downing another pour of the amber liquid, not allowing myself to taste or enjoy it, I set the glass down and gripped the counter hard. Reminding myself not to break it!

Closing my eyes, I felt my hair falling open, hiding me from the spirits who watched. Ashamed of the reaction I still felt an emotion people seek out in life. And here I was, running from it?

 ‘You don’t give yourself enough credit. You are holding on to it because you can’t see how your world has evolved in this way.’

I didn’t believe her, there was no evolution here. Replaying Embry’s words:

“𝕀𝕤 𝕚𝕥 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕟 𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕓𝕝𝕖… 𝕋𝕠 𝕝𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕚𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕟’𝕥 𝕒𝕗𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕝𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝕚𝕥?”

The fear of losing that person was what had my stomach churning?

“ℂ𝕒𝕟 𝕡𝕖𝕠𝕡𝕝𝕖 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕕 𝕠𝕗 𝕒𝕥𝕥𝕒𝕔𝕙𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕚𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕪 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕒 𝕤𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕝𝕖 𝕕𝕠𝕦𝕓𝕥 𝕚𝕥 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕒𝕝𝕨𝕒𝕪𝕤 𝕓𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖?”

I guess I couldn’t. The fear of feeling that broken, that lost, that unhinged made my walls go up so hard and fast, that I didn’t even want to consider the alternative.

And then we heard it. The words spoken by another. But saying the things we couldn’t say ourselves.

Embry Call had learnt how to speak to me when I had no words to share!

•- Embry Call -•

I set my phone on her coffee table and stood still, watching the doorway and trying not to act on the tell-tale sounds of her internal struggle in the kitchen. She wasn’t like anyone else in my life… I wouldn’t need to think about following one of the guys and putting a hand on their shoulder or hugging them… if they truly want to be alone they would tell me to fuck off and then it would be forgotten the next day.

Leah was different. Intruding into Leah’s grief would be a violation, it was something she’d held inside for her alone. Only once had I been invited to be with her in one of those moments and I didn’t want it to be the last time. I wanted to be a part of her hard days too… But I knew that would take time… Time I was more than ready to give.

It was when Lily sang “𝔸𝕝𝕝 𝕠𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕖𝕕𝕘𝕖𝕤 𝕗𝕚𝕥 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕠 𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕖.” My wolf took us around the sofa, and we headed to the door, convinced that at her side was where we were supposed to be right now. From the second my feet began to move… I could no longer think of a single reason that he might be wrong.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

I stood there in silence, listening to the song, and breathing deeply to control this outburst. And my warrior allowed me to gather myself.

Even with my eyes closed, I heard him setting his phone down, heard his footsteps coming around towards me and I held my eyes open. Running this madness of emotions through my head. What had I been thinking? It wasn’t fair on Embry to see all of this!

Rubbing my face with the back of my sleeve, straightening up I took out the bottle of Jameson I kept in the cabinet for him, and a glass. Pouring him two fingers I turned to face the door. Holding the glass out towards him.

•- Embry Call -•

I was just in the doorway when I spotted her… Waiting for me, of course… whiskey in hand. It made me smile; despite knowing she was in turmoil. Because this was, Leah… in a dark moment she wanted to be here for me. No matter how the tables should be reversed, this was where she came back to herself… doing for others. #Kim and #Claire would call it her love language… what was it they said? 𝔸𝕔𝕥𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕤𝕖𝕣𝕧𝕚𝕔𝕖.

So, for this reason alone I took the glass and took a mouthful… “Thank you,” I told her before I set it down on the counter next to her. I touched her cheek and slipped one arm around her waist; stepping in as I pulled her close at the same time. Kissing her forehead. One. The tip of her nose. Two. And her lips. Three. She tasted like her usual bourbon.

I took my hand from her face and wrapped it around her too, leaning my cheek against her hair. I whispered. “I got you.” Nothing else needed to be said as shuffle did the talking for me.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

This is where that evolution kicked in. The knowledge that I didn’t have to push him out the door, I could say the word and he would leave without a question. Let me stew in my own thoughts until I dug myself out of the hole I’d fallen into.

Knowing, I didn’t have to explain myself in any way gave me the confidence to understand he was where I needed him to be.

I closed my eyes resting myself against his body. Our bodies came together with my arms slipping under his arms and around his back holding him to me.

His heat matched mine, his heartbeat calm against mine. His whisper…. Spirits! I knew it was true…

“Dance with me?” My reply. Because standing still knowing where my mind wanted to live, and I didn’t want that. I wanted to be here present with Embry.

The song spoke a story that was equally beautiful and painful. Reminding me that life came with all aspects, and without one, we wouldn’t know our truth. Because let’s face it. The pain is where our strength comes from.

‘Not just pain… there is more to strengthen.’ She showed me my Ma, the Kid, MsC…. And….. Embry’s eyes!

•- Embry Call -•

My heart stilled when she eased against me, and I knew there was no one else in this world or the next who could understand how it felt to have Leah Clearwater lean on them… literally and figuratively.

It was a trust beyond measure.

I smiled, eyes closed when she made her request, committing the moment to memory. It might seem weird… she was hurting… and this was one I decided was unforgettable. But trust me… this was a moment to remember. “I thought you’d never ask.” I gave a small chuckle and held her close, moving in slow, small circles.

I pressed a kiss to her temple as James TW sang out our truth from the next room.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Moving into him took no thought. Resting my cheek on his shoulder had no thoughts too. Holding him and being held by him… no thoughts at all. It felt right and natural to do.

I didn’t need to thank him or say a word for him to understand where I went. But in my evolving sense, I began to think of ways to articulate what it was that made me run. What made me react? And why hadn’t I moved past it all?

But closing my eyes, breathing him in, letting the words of the song sink in, it was all I needed right now.

I let Embry lead the direction of our movement, I trusted him with my truths, a dance in the kitchen was fair game.

•- Embry Call -•

My heart gave a few erratic thumps… I couldn’t think of anywhere else in the world that I would rather be in this moment. Dancing with Leah, to this specific track playing from the other room, now, tonight. This was part of an intricate plan that was set in place by forces bigger than us and the fact that the two of us chose to follow the path had led us here.

It made everything feel bigger like it was part of a grand scheme.

I rested my cheek against the top of her head. My hands kept a firm hold of her, letting her know without words that I wasn’t letting go, the fingers resting on the small of her back-traced a small, sweeping figure-eight against the fabric of her shirt.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

The symbol he was drawing on my back spoke volumes in the silence that held us in this moment.

The sound of his heart did the same over the words and the rhythm of the music playing from the other room.

I knew I didn’t need another person in my life to make me feel seen, heard, and even safe.

But to have someone who was a friend… who was more…. They were a person willing to see the world through my eyes, to understand my feelings and my outlook. But still waited for me to come back to them. By the spirits… it was a first with Embry.

I kept my eyes closed, turning my head on his shoulders to face him. Placing one soft kiss on his neck. In my own way saying. ‘Still real. And I know. You got me.’ Because he did.

•- Embry Call -•

I let out a soft hum at her kiss, it made my heart stutter a few beats... speaking to her as the shuffle gods worked their magic with the next song.

There wasn't anything I needed to say... or anything she needed to hear right now. All we needed was to be right here. After years of hiding away, these deep scars were slowly melting away. I didn't know how long it would take for her to stop hiding it when it accosted her unprepared... I wanted to be here for it. I smiled a little... Spirits, what was this woman doing to me?

She was letting her need me... she could get through these emotions alone... It would look a lot different, but she had done it many times and she could do it again. But right now, she was letting me in, and the music was speaking for me.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

His heartbeat spoke volumes louder than words ever could. Even if Embry Call had found a way for me to hear the words too.

I couldn’t be any more thankful to him, because he didn’t ask for an explanation or search for answers. He didn’t expect anything from me, other than what I was willing and able to give.

When the song changed, my heartbeat gave a kick. This song brought back memories, emotions, and unspoken conversations between us.

Moving slowly, swaying from side to side. I listened to each word, and the message of this song always hit hard. I just never understood how much until now.

•- Embry Call -•

There was a strange sort of contentment at this moment with her. It seemed strange... but in all the ways that mattered, it wasn't strange at all. No one was ever going to go through their life without pain, upset and trauma. The best we, the people who care for the hurting party, could hope for was to make the journey through that pain a little less difficult. I would never presume my presence alone could lessen what Leah was feeling. But I was here, and I was wanted here. I wasn't going anywhere.

We danced... more like swayed in her kitchen, and it was all that mattered, we were here... holding on. Until...

[Body Like A Back Road – Sam Hunt]

I couldn't stop my chuckle.

"Well, I guess the shuffle gods have a limit on reading the room."

Then again... maybe that was exactly what they were doing.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Turning my head so that my face was in the crook of his neck my lips curled up into a smile. Slow, small shake of my head I had to bite the inside of my cheek to stop from laughing. Because that would just be crazy come to roost!

“Of course…” I whispered. I knew I had to come out of this hole I began digging. But I also knew it wasn’t as deep as it used to be. “There is a limit to gloom… within the bubble,” I added.

Sighing before pushing my head up to hold myself straight. “And the perfect song choice too. I can’t be mad at Sam… he is my guy.” Half smiling now.

•- Embry Call -•

I could feel her smile, by the tell-tale shifting of her cheek on my shoulder and I couldn’t help the jolt my heart gave. When she lifted her head I held her gaze. “No…” I shook my head. “No limits, you can take as much time as you need. No matter what song is playing, Trouble. Always… Okay?” I hoped she understood. I would always make the time to be here for her when she wanted me to be.

I tilted my head at her comment about Sam. “Oh really!” I smirked… “Might be time to take him off the playlists then… Not sure I can compete.” I teased and turned us both around like I was about to head to the living room and turn off the song.

I knew there was no competition. She didn’t want anyone to compete for her. I’d never really seen the idea of competing for someone as a compliment anyway. It was about your own ego and not the person you were supposedly fighting for. I kissed her forehead… and whispered. “I got you.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Closing my eyes, I dropped my head letting his lips and kiss leave their mark. Not a physical one visible to others. But this one was for me and my warrior.

“I know…” I told him. For both knowing I didn’t have to rush out of this darkness, and the fact that he had me.

“Wow.. wow.. wow..” Not letting go of him, even if I knew he was joking.

“Let’s not make any harsh decisions about Sammy, the human worked hard to make a place on the playlist. We can’t just kick him off.”

Turned us around 180 degrees so that he couldn’t just rush off to the living room.

“We should sleep on it, think carefully, and maybe even think about a cooling off period before doing something you might regret.” Looking into his eyes now as I spoke. “After all, he did have a lot to do with our first open conversation and the laughs which came with it?”

•- Embry Call -•

I laughed, never taking my eyes off her. The fact that she could change my momentum so easily… without any hint of effort… there was no denying it. It was sexy as fuck.

I thought about her proposition. “Okay… fine. But!” I added the caveat. “If he keeps flirting with you through song; I might just have to go full alphahole on our dear Sammy boy.” I raised a brow. “I don’t think I can be responsible for my actions.”

I smiled and kissed her softly. “Let’s sleep on it.” My eyes stayed locked on hers… her way of saying 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕪 echoed between us very clearly. “I suppose we owe him at least that much.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

First things first. I’m not a damsel who sits her arse down waiting to be saved or protected. I am the protector! So, when I feel that clenched muscles in the depths of my body. With a heat lacing its way up the side of my neck. All in reaction to him joking about going 𝔸𝕝𝕡𝕙𝕒𝕙𝕠𝕝𝕖 on a musician's arse. This wasn’t the reaction I was expecting at all!

When his eyes caught mine, the unspoken word was heard loud and clear. So, I nod my head slowly with my fingers coming to stroke his cheek.

Lowering my voice. “You can’t hold Sammy responsible for his actions. Have you seen me? It’s beyond his control.” Half smiling still as I spoke. “But I’m glad we could come to some agreement on the matter, Dimples.”

•- Embry Call -•

A slow smile spread across my face… She liked that…

“Well, well.” My voice was low and rumbling. “Isn’t this a revelation?” I leaned in and inhaled deeply. The cheeky smile turned soft at her touch, now she was doing that thing with her voice that made my heart skip. “Oh, I have seen you, Trouble… but it’s a sight I don’t think anyone could get enough of.”

I kissed her one more time and said, “Shall we?” The music in the next room was playing still.

[Catch – Brett Young]

I grinned as I stepped away from her, letting my hand trail off of her hips. I downed what was left in my glass… it would be a crime to waste it after all. Then I grabbed her empty one and took them to the sink to wash them. She was a meticulous creature and we both knew she wouldn’t sleep with dirty dishes in the kitchen.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

That was going to happen when the walls I had up came down within our bubble. Of course, nothing was hidden from him within these walls.

My first reaction should have been to punch him /Hard/. But there wasn’t where our evolution brought us now. So, I shrugged my shoulders as to say. ‘Now you know. And what?’

I let him go, stepping away until I felt the counters behind me, tilting my head to watch as he closed my kitchen for me.

By the spirits, he had really made his place in my home. Just as he now had ‘his side or the bed.’ One I didn’t even notice when or how it had happened. One day it wasn’t, and the next…

I licked my lips, listening to the music, letting myself go with the rhythm and the sound of his heart beating calming me too.

When I saw he was done, I held my hand out towards him.

“We shall..”

•- Embry Call -•

I smiled at her… So, jealousy was sexy now… that was where we were at? I chuckled and licked my lips as I glanced over at her, setting the glasses on the side. Even if it was hypothetical jealousy… Apparently, I liked it as much as she did, maybe more.

She hadn’t gone to check the house was locked up… I tilted my head, drying my hands before I slipped my hand into her outstretched one. Nothing about this journey with Leah was mundane in any way… but some things were routine, and even I was shocked at how much I liked it… maybe it was because I knew it gave her comfort. But that didn’t matter, maybe it was the routine or maybe it was how she felt, that made me like it… all that mattered was that we both liked it.

But this… My thumb brushed the back of her hand… this was a deviation from the routine… I smiled at her. It wasn’t the first and it wouldn’t be the last. “Lead the way, Trouble.” I smiled. And follow her, I would.  To whatever end.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Feeling the way his touch felt in my hand made my heart and stomach do something they did when he was close, in our bubble.

“Hmm… all because you want to check me out from behind.” I teased. Of course, I did. But at the same time, I did lead the way. Stopping at the living room, to find the windows closed.

I knew my house was closed to the world outside, but I also knew I no longer needed to make sure it was. Sure, I didn’t need someone to feel secure. I had myself in check when it came to that. But with Embry here… this just felt right… like a step was taken on our journey together. Reaching out as we walked by, I pushed the button to turn the speaker off, before taking him down the hallway to the bathroom door. Turning I kissed his cheek.

“You can go first tonight.” Kissing his cheek again letting him go.

•- Embry Call -•

A smile spread across my face. “That is a definite perk.” I laughed, but I already told her when it was her time… I would follow her lead. And I still meant that.

And follow I did… dropping my gaze to her arse and smiling. “Spirits! What a view!”

She didn’t let go of me to go through her routine, instead headed towards the bedroom. I leaned in and kissed her once. “Okay…” I opened the door, still holding her hand. “Feel free to be undressed when I walk into the bedroom.” I teased her… but I was certainly not opposed to the idea in the slightest.

I let her go and slipped inside, Retrieving the bag she kept in a drawer for me and started to clean up before bed.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

I knew he was checking me out from behind. It was an absolute pleasure to have his eyes on me.

Then his comment about being undressed made me laugh and shake my head.

“What and give you a heart attack? What would the spirits say?” Keeping my tone light with the tease.

Once he went into the bathroom, I walked to the back door. Locking it and checking the windows to the utility area there before making my way to my bedroom.

Heading straight to the windows, I opened them both wide. Letting the sound of the rain, and the cooling breeze in. Closing my eyes, to listen to the sounds of the night, hearing the thunder coming from afar.

The spirits were singing in a low hum, welcoming the thunder and the rain to our lands. So, I whispered a prayer along with them. Wanting the night to protect those who needed it and give strength to those who had lost theirs.

I began humming to myself as I undressed from my clothes. Undoing my bar and slipping out of my underwear. Setting everything into the laundry basket.

Once upon a time, I would be done, ready to climb into my bed but now. I’d moved to my drawers to pull out one of his T-shirts. Slipping it on, before I began turning the bed down.

I could hear him moving around, with my eyes set on ‘his side’, of my bed.

•- Embry Call -•

“Spirits!” I muttered. “At least I would go smiling and horny.” I laughed as I vanished behind the door.

I listened to her moving around the room as I readied myself, brushing my teeth and washing up… even cleaning out the sink for her when she came in here next.

The scent and sound of the rain in her room made me stop and smile. But the sight of her in 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 t-shirt… made my heart stop and restart a moment later. This woman was one of a kind. I wrapped my arms around her from behind and whispered. “Thinking about stealing my side of the bed?” I asked her. I knew what she was looking at. I had stood in the same place thinking the same thing, many times. “I’ll fight you for it?” I teased.

I rested my chin on her shoulder, listening to the world beyond the window. “Spirits… That is the best sound isn’t it?” She’d know I meant the rain… it made me bury my nose in my hair. She always smelled of rain, sea air and the forest… like she had just been for a ride in typical La Push weather. “The scent always reminds me of you.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

“There you go… promising me a good time again.” My lips curled up into the smile only he witnessed these days. “I’m not sure she would let me. She may even hold me back.” She was listening. Saying nothing. Leaving me to have my time with Embry.

I closed my eyes with his arms around me. Heat rose up the side of my neck at being caught out, with the reality of how he knew just where my mind had gone.

It wasn’t that my warrior and I hadn’t heard him coming. It was that we chose to remain in our memories and mine space because we trusted in him.

The scent of Embry filled my space, mingling with the rain, fresh mint, and soap. Each fragrance completely transformed my mind to different places in my memory before I was back in this room.

Resting my hands over his, leaning into his hold and body, I took the time to refresh all those memories with this scent. This feeling of being held by him.

“Hmm…” I finally opened my eyes. Knowing he meant the rain. “But listening from my ears… It’s even better…” because I could appreciate the sound his heart added to the mix.

My heart betrayed me again, but this time I just went with the flow. I turned myself around in his arms. I kissed his lips softly. “I won’t be long.” Kissing him again.

•- Embry Call -•

I chuckled. “Trust me… I know. She’s sixty percent of the reason I’m here to start with.” I laughed, my breath dancing against her skin. The way she let her body ease into mine always gave me the greatest kind of chills. It was trust… and trust I knew she hadn’t shown anyone else. It was a spiritual experience every time.

“So corny.”  I teased her and kissed her quickly beneath her ear, hearing how her heart gave her away and then mine skipped… like they were having a conversation in a secret code we weren’t allowed to know. She spun inside my hold, and I smiled widely when those eyes linked with mine for that second before they closed when she kissed me. “Try not to miss me.” I teased and slowly trailed my hands off her hips as I let her go.

I moved over to the chair I normally kept my clothes on and made sure to lift my t-shirt before she stepped out of the room.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

“Such a Wisearse!” Smiling, I backhand slapped his arse walking away from him towards the bedroom door, turning to look back over my shoulder not expecting anything, until my core and all the muscles in me clenched tightly.

Shaking my head. “Tease!” Smiling, I walked barefoot down the hallway. Closing the door and readying my back on it. My eyes up asking the spirits what he was doing to me!

When I glanced around the bathroom, a frown and a smile popped over me at the same time. He’d used the space and left it clean, tidy, and set to use again.

Yeah… He most definitely… found himself fully integrated into my home life.

•- Embry Call -•

“Kinky!” I laughed when she swatted my arse. Honestly, it was kind of a turn-on.

I folded my clothes and set my phone and the hospital beeper on the bedside table. I hummed a Brett Young song as I did… since he was fresh on my mind and the tune was particularly relevant. By the time I reached the chorus, the words were playing in my head.

𝗣𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗮 𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗴, 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼

𝗚𝗼 𝗼𝗻, 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝗶𝗿

𝗕𝗮𝗯𝘆, 𝗸𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝗳𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗲𝘀

𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘀𝗮𝘆, "𝗟𝗶𝗳𝗲'𝘀 𝗮 𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲"

𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵

𝗜 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗮 𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂

[Dance With You – Brett Young]

Before I knew it I was singing out loud as I climbed into 𝕞𝕪 𝕤𝕚𝕕𝕖 of her bed. I smiled and inhaled the cool night air filling her room… the night had been heavy… but there wasn't a thing I would change. We were here for each other… and I knew that wasn't easy… but it was effortless.

And that meant something. Right?

•- Leah Clearwater -•

My mind wasn’t racing, it was calm as still water while I made my way around the bathroom preparing myself.

The conversation of going through my thoughts, the wheres, hows, and whys of the time spent, and each time I came to understand a part of the conversation. His smiling face flashed. At how easy it was to let myself be seen by him, to react honestly and openly. To step away and take time, and how he was there telling me by his actions when that time was enough.

Embry allowed himself to step back. Gave me time to collect myself. But... then, stepped up… showed me, told me… I wasn’t doing this on my own anymore.

It was when I was drying and cleaning the sink that he began to sing.  Through the mirror, my gaze sat on the door listening to him. Smiling at him naturally expressing himself.

Turning the lights off, I slowly made my way down the hall. Pulling my hair out from under the tee, where I had left it while washing my face.

When I came to the door, I stood there listening to him sing, watching him climb into bed. Feeling the warmth in this stolen moment into his nighttime routine.

“Great choice in songs.” Finally stepping into the room out of the darkness of the hallway. “Don’t stop?” It was an incredible way to look into his soul. By the songs he picked.

Walking up to his side table, leaning down to kiss him once. My fingers reached over to curl around the beeper.

When I stood again, I brought it with me to my side setting it down beside my bottle of water before climbing in beside him.

•- Embry Call -•

I did stop for a second when she spoke… I smiled up at her as she leaned down to kiss me. I wondered for a moment why she wouldn’t have climbed in and given me that kiss. But she answered that by picking up the beeper. Even now… after the storm of emotions she’d weathered tonight; she still lifted this burden. I didn’t stop her, Leah knew her limits and I wasn’t going to question them.

I watched her walk back around the bed and gave her her request.

“𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕕𝕒𝕪𝕤 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕪. 𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕟𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤 𝕘𝕖𝕥 𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕘.”

Singing without music… either playing music or singing along to a track; I had done before… Spirits! Even when I sang in the shower I normally had music. This a cappella thing… it revealed the flaws in my voice. But that was okay.

She climbed in next to me and I turned to her. My hand reached across her and slid her closer by her waist.

“𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟 𝕓𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕘𝕥𝕙 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕟, 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕒𝕚𝕟'𝕥 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕟' 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘.”

I leaned in and the next words were spoken more than sang.

“ℂ𝕝𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕖𝕪𝕖𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕘𝕖𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕙𝕖, 𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥, 𝕗𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕠𝕨 𝕞𝕪 𝕝𝕖𝕒𝕕.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

There were no flaws in his voice. How could there be? He sang from the heart, and the spirits accompanied from outside.

The way he slid me across the bed and into him, made my blood roil in a pleasant way. Sure I knew his strength. But this, seeing it first-hand. Especially when you took things like this for granted. It came with the added bonus of being shaken for a moment.

I did as he sang and said. Entwining my legs around his, my arm slipped its way to rest over his waist. My head was over his arm, and I kissed the crook of his neck, taking in this scent I seemed to crave so often when we were apart. When.. well.. when I missed him!

His voice was just what this night needed. This… laying beside him and falling asleep with him beside me.

“Sweet dreams, dimples,” I whispered. Breathing him in again.

•- Embry Call -•

She twisted herself up with me, making my breath catch… and yet she wanted me to keep singing? Thank the Spirits I never claimed singing as one of my many talents. But, still… she would get what she wanted, even when that kiss made me forget the words for a second. I kept singing once they returned to me.

“𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕨𝕖 𝕔𝕒𝕟, 𝕡𝕚𝕔𝕜 𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕒 𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕘, 𝕀 𝕔𝕒𝕟 𝕙𝕠𝕝𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕥𝕠

𝔾𝕠 𝕠𝕟, 𝕝𝕖𝕥 𝕕𝕠𝕨𝕟 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕙𝕒𝕚𝕣

𝔹𝕒𝕓𝕪, 𝕜𝕚𝕔𝕜 𝕠𝕗𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕖𝕤

𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕪 𝕤𝕒𝕪, "𝕃𝕚𝕗𝕖'𝕤 𝕒 𝕕𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖"

𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕚𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥'𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕥𝕣𝕦𝕥𝕙

𝕀 𝕠𝕟𝕝𝕪 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕟𝕒 𝕕𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕪𝕠𝕦

𝕀 𝕠𝕟𝕝𝕪 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕟𝕒 𝕕𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕪𝕠𝕦”

Here I was… in Leah Clearwater’s bed… holding her, singing to her… Singing to her about holding her… about dancing with her through this crazy, whirlwind, exhilarating path. I rested my cheek against the top of her head. Listening to the rain and lingering echoes of my borrowed words. “Sleep well, Trouble.”

Next Story: Pizza Night

[blazingtheway]

How Much Have We Learnt? – Storyline 19- Together

(Music: Children of the Sky · Imagine Dragons)

•- Embry Call -•

Sets a bright pink on Leah’s bed for her to find.

The tag reading;

“From one Alphahole to another.”

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Raising an eyebrow, my curiosity got the better of me. The thing on my bed taking up my sleeping space was Pink. And the message on the card too.

And then I pulled out the sweatshirt. Pressing my lips together but I laughed so hard and loudly. Shaking my head A different kind of tears in my eyes now after finishing his exact book this afternoon.

Finally seeing the beautiful edition of the book accompanying it too. “He gets me.”

Sending him text.

[Thank you. For the gifts and the laughs. And Here I thought you were simping on Lehabah. But it was always JJ for you!]

•- Embry Call -•

I chuckled at her text and replied.

[Hell yeah! I’m not sharing Lele with anyone… Not even you, Trouble. And JJ make me of the goodies in that nightstand of yours.]

I hit send and followed it up with a quick.

[Happy Birthday, Leah.]

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Shaking my head as I reply.

[Fine. But Syrinx is mine, Dimples. And I’m not sharing the furball with you. As for JJ and where your mind is going. Keep wishing.]

Half smiling at the next text.

[Thank you, Embry.]

•- Embry Call -•

I laughed out loud and grinned at my phone.

[Okay… Fine. But only because it’s your birthday and I don’t fancy having my arse bitten by a magically feary dog. You’re welcome… You are one of a kind so, you deserve a one-of-a-kind gift.]

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Rolling my eyes, still laughing.

[ I’m telling my Warrior you said this. Oh. Wait. You’re talking about Syrinx! Oh, he is so biting your arse. You have me laughing today of all days. It all means a lot. ]

Setting the phone down to really give the book all my attention.

•- Embry Call -•

I rolled my eyes. But now I was picturing the beautiful white creature.

[She would never believe I spoke ill of her. While you’re chatting with her ask her what she’s wearing… its getting a lonely over here.]

I knew her birthday was difficult. It was why i let her find her gift instead of giving it to her in person.

[Wait… are you laughing with me or at me? Because I only intended for with me.] I hit send again.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

She was awake, she never left me alone today. And she was smiling too. Telling me what to reply.

[ She said you would combust if she told you. And she likes you too much to let that happen. Even if you like Lele more than her.]

And now I laughed a little again.

[ I’ll leave it to your imagination as to which one. ]

•- Embry Call -•

[Combust really? At least Lehabah would be proud.] I chuckled as I typed. [You know how wild my imagination  is... so until you're for a random appearance on your doorstep you might not want me to set that particular beast loose.]

That may have been a subtle to give her an option to invite me over without actually having to say it. I knew where her mind went today... She always knew that telling me she wanted space was okay. I always told her that being alone and being lonely wasn't the same thing... and she was starting to notice the difference.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

[When has she ever lied? She believes it to be true.] raising my eyebrow as I continued. [Isn’t random appearance your middle name? But we get it. Done beasts are better left alone at times.]

It wasn’t until I hit send did, I wonder if he had been asking for an invite over? I wouldn’t do that to him. Tonight wasn’t a night for company. Even if for the first time I had laughed and smiled.

•- Embry Call -•

Dammit.... It was too late... all this talk of fire fairies had me thinking about Leah's heat.

[It is a skill of mine. But you know all this evolution lately has me trying new things. Like understanding why some people like or need time alone...]

I couldn't help but want to be with her when she was hurting. But it was about what she needed, trusting her to know what she needed and asking for it. Even if that took the form of a tiny hint. I was good at reading between the lines. [I've got you, Trouble. Anytime.]

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Laying back in my bed, my new book set on my chest, and the sweatshirt on instead of my tee.

Trying to understand why this man saw things differently than the rest of the world. How when he was across town, he somehow still picked up on what I was going through. It took me a few attempts before I knew what to say.

[And what is it you’ve learnt with this experience in evolution?]

Taking a deep breath, with my warrior curling up, she made my heart feel the lack of his heat beside us in the bed right now.

[ I know you do, Dimples. ]

•- Embry Call -•

I grinned heading out to the back porch with a beer.

[I think part of me always thought that when people said they wanted to be alone it meant that they didn't know how to be around people with whatever they had going on in their heads. That if you were kind enough, understanding enough or said the right thing they would be happy you stuck around. But I learned that sometimes people just like their own company or time alone with their thoughts. Even if it seems... strange to me.]

•- Leah Clearwater -•

I could understand his take on the situation. Embry Call wasn’t a guy who saw being alone as an option. Or this was my opinion over the years. But the fact he saw this now, it was learning for sure.

[ Does it still scare you? Being in the silence, I mean. Being with your own company without anyone disturbing your thoughts? ]

He wasn’t the only one who saw things.

•- Embry Call -•

I grinned, leaning against the post of the back porch. Sounds of the tv and quiet chatter coming from inside.

[Sometimes. But I'm starting to think it essential for all of us… at least sometimes. We are all so bonded, I think we need to remember (I need to remember) we are capable doing things ourselves. But I always know where to go when things get dark… or to ask for help.]

•- Leah Clearwater -•

He’d hit the nail on the head. Or at least for me. Our journey to find our missing warriors were very different. And I didn’t need to relive it in this moment.

But being alone, not speaking with my voice, not having all those minds feeling invasive. I needed it. So, much so. It became a way of life.

[There are the hardest steps. Knowing when to share and say… ‘I need you’. Not something that always comes naturally.]

•- Embry Call -•

I smiled. the simple fact she phrased it so boldly was proof of how far this evolution had taken her. Those were words she would have accepted from anyone else but never herself. And sure, it is a rhetorical conversation. But she had done it in the past. Her birthday last year came to mind.

[Something you've gotten good at, no matter the words you use to express it.]

So good, in fact, that when she didn't ask me to come over, I didn't question it. She was choosing her own company for the right reasons.

[Even when it does come naturally... Sometimes there are certain things harder to ask for. I let pride get in the way, when I should have focused on those I trust before stubborn pride.]

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Turning my entire body towards the window, i brought my knees up to curl up. Even in the darkness I could see the light. The spirits setting out a guild for us to follow if we needed it.

Witnessing the journey another taking  their evolutionary consciousness wasn’t the same as going through it yourself. Moments like now were where the definition came into play. How you handle a situation in different ways told a story, if you listened to it telling you.

When the buzzing of the phone I read his reply. This conversation in itself told of the journey I’d taken. And he had too. The smile he’d taught me to share came to life.

“He gives me too much credit.” Whispering to the spirits and to her.

‘You don’t given yourself enough.’ She told me. Showing me where I had been two years ago, last year, and not this year. How I went from spending the whole night with my sins and asking for forgiveness. To sharing the night with Da, to spending time with Da and now returning to myself before grandfather sun came up.

‘See, this is how we see you growing.’

[Every journey has to begin with something, what you can see what happens and how it could have been. You know you have passed this point and grown.]

He had grown so much, and so much which he has hidden had come to light. Not just the bad, but so much good. I didn’t even know about the work he did with the school and the kids there. And I had mistaken him and #Quil all this time with opening their doors to the pups too.

‘And there is your learning to appreciate when you were wrong.’

•- Embry Call -•

I pick up the guitar that I had left sitting against the porch rail and hit the voice note button. I played...

She was right... And she had shown me things about myself I never gave myself credit for. I was normally quick to give myself credit for anything. But apparently not everything.

I sent the note with the caption. [And it all started with Silence.]

(Music: Beethoven's ''Silence'' on Classical Guitar Vitor Almeida)

•- Leah Clearwater -•

The whispers on the air picked up, making me slip off the bed and walk bare foot to my window. Closing my eyes my chin lifted to the sky I listened to them speaking.

They were filled with joy, calm, excitement. And I could tell…. “Is he playing for you?” Something in my chest sat as I continued to take the night and them in. Sometime had passed when his next message came. And I played it right away.

The music filled my silence, setting the spirits off once again. My face lit up and my heart beats speed. Listening to him from afar wasn’t the same as when he sat in the room with me. But it was still beautiful.

Understanding filled my heart, my fingers tapped a message out.

[Even silence speaks if you know how to listen.]

I finally replied and pressed play again.

•- Embry Call -•

I chuckled at her text but set my phone down, hearing footsteps from inside. ‘Hey ‘Bry. Mom just text and said the baby is up so on gonna head home before she settles again.’ The pup said, he stayed here after late runs so he didn't walk up his new baby sister.

“Drive safe, Pup.” I told him and as he retreated. “And don't just go home and crash! Help out a little.” uncalled after him as he disappeared back inside.

He just laughed and agreed. When I heard the door close, I knew that only Quil was left inside, sleeping. I picked up my phone.

[Music was always like for me… my life was always so full of it. But I'm glad you walked in on me playing that day… my life hasn't been boring for single day since that evening.]

•- Leah Clearwater -•

He hadn’t replied right away, so I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and get myself ready for the night. I’d planned to watch something, but as I stood looking at myself in the mirror. I knew it wasn’t going to happen.

The un-aged, perfect face in the mirror looking g back at me smiled this year. Not a full blown, the world is right smile, but a ‘we are healing, it will take time. But we will get there someday.’ Kind of a smile. And I didn’t curse myself for the thought.

Splashing water on my face, before patting dry I took a moment to tidy up my bathroom. And then his reply came.

“That…. Day….” My warrior showed it to me as it was yesterday.

Me letting myself into MsC’s home thinking she was having a good day. Which was why she was playing so beautifully. His scent was there, but that wasn’t unexpected. It was his mom’s home. He was always coming and going. But I froze, seeing MsC wasn’t the one playing. Embry had been lost in his world, not even picking up on my arrival as he played for her.

Shaking myself out from the memory I searched my saved sounds. Finding the one I wanted to hear.

[The last thing I expected that day, was an insightful view into you. And I thank the spirits for showing me where I was needed that day.]

Adding the first song he played for me the Christmas after. It was the first time the music he played was meant for my ears. And I listened to it all the time.

[Your music hits differently with me. It’s unexpected the reactions it gives me.]

(Music: River Flows in You · Yiruma)

•- Embry Call -•

I smiled reading her message. She was never phased by the gaps when I wrote back to her. She knew that my house was a revolving door, and I wouldn't risk our bubble by being careless with anything she sent me or I sent her.

 [I know. It can be something you've heard a hundred  times. But it means something else when it's created before your eyes. I grew up with it every day and it's still special. Like the first time I heard you sing.]

I remembered that day with a smile and followed up with another text. [I had no idea how badly I needed you that day... not someone. You... if it hadn't been you... I think I would still be drowning in so many ways.]

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Recalling all the time the spirits had placed me by Embry. At time when he was alone and lost in his music. His mom’s home. Seattle…. They were showing me a path, I wasn’t even aware I needed to witness.

My bare feet moved soundlessly though my home, locking the doors, the windows which always remained open when I was inside. Ending in the kitchen for some water.

When his reply came the music played in the background. Biting through inside of my cheek I ready it again. Could anyone have seen what I had? Surely #Jake and #Quil….  I didn’t know what to say. So, I replied with.

[Thank the spirits I didn’t kick your arse for not telling me anything about where you were before. Even if I hadn’t made it easy on you to share.]

I knew I failed him and the other pups too.

•- Embry Call -•

I laughed at her reply.

[I think I got that from my mom.]

I typed, walking back inside, empty bottle in hand.

 [When I was growing up, she would take offers of help… like babysitting me after school even hand-me-down clothes from the neighbours with older kids. But she would take help with the bills or loans… she would work 3 jobs and let #Sarah or #Joy watches me after school. But never money.]

I followed it up.

[I softened you up with the music. Font worry, I fully expect an arse kicking if it happens again.]

I still remembered the stack of  bills she took… the envelope that contain my mom’s will… one I still hadn’t looked at today.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

[I know. It’s one of the things I learnt from watching her. There is no shame in working hard, to meet your needs]

I didn’t write how I learnt the other lesson from her too but took it to an extreme I don’t think she approved of.

[Doesn’t mean I’m not thankful, you let me in.]

I wouldn’t have lived with myself if things had gotten worse for them. Remembering the way, he watched me as I read the bills, as it all came out and became clear to me. And Ms C’s will… by the spirits… that document wasn’t an easy read. After sending my reply, it was time to hers back towards my bedroom with my water in hand.

•- Embry Call -•

I picked up the handful of bottles that were dotted about the living room/kitchen... while #Quill insisted he would do it after this level as he played his X-Box.

"I'm heading to bed..." I told him mussing his hair. "Don’t stay up all night you have to be up at seven." I  filled a glass of water and headed to my room guitar in hand also and I flopped down onto my bed. Which protested loudly.

[It's true... but there's no shame in asking for help either. I'm thankful I let you in too... even if my initial reaction didn't seem like I was.]

Then to ease the heaviness on a day I knew was heavy enough for her.

[ So… What are you wearing?]

•- Leah Clearwater -•

Memories flowed in and out of my mind, my warrior curled up watching them with me. Clearly things when I found myself rethinking how I could have done better.

My clothes discarded into the laundry basket beside my closet, I pulled open the chest drawer for one of the tee’s  I’d began sleeping in.

Before he started spending nights sharing my bed, I’d have climbed into bed after showering naked. My heat made it so that dressing to sleep didn’t bother thinking about. But then… being with him meant having a boundary in place. To the point now, I found myself in a tee even on the nights I sleep alone.

The creamy tee slipped down my torso, with my hands pulling my hair out to fall freely down my back. And of course, I smiled and rolled my eyes at his reply. His reaction…

“Sprits!” Muttering. My heart fell to  the depths of hell recalling the look on his face that day. How he stood before my door, and then in my living room. The betrayal written in those eyes.

‘He didn’t understand. Don’t hold it against him.’ She whispered.

“I don’t… never… I should have found another way…”

‘No… you found to right way… now… tell him you are naked and waiting for him. We can count and see how long it takes him to run over.’ She was pulling me out of my hole.

[I’m wearing…. Wait… What do you think I wear to be when you aren’t here?]

•- Embry Call -•

I found myself wishing I had more than memories to keep me company... something that smelled like her. Which was, of course, impossible... there were warrior in and out of this house like it was their own and even a single shirt hidden away would be scented.

So, I put in my earbuds and pressed play on a playlist I knew she would appreciate. At least, my grandfather’s gift let me recall with perfect clarity the sounds of her existence, her breath... heartbeat... the silken slide of her against a pillowcase. even as John Legend started to sing Conversations in the dark.

then her reply made me laugh. She didn't question the question the sharp change in direction, so I was comforted that it was a good call. [Nothing... or what you wear when I'm there] We knew that was one of my t-shirts.

[Both are perfectly acceptable.] I added quickly.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

As soon as I pulled the sheets back the scent of him became stronger in the room. I knew I should have changed the sheets this morning. It was something I did to protect our bubble. But right now, I didn’t overthink it.

Walking over to the windows with one final glance out, I pulled my hair up into a messy bun on the top of my head. The spirits were calm, they were there, but they were calm. A sign the patrolling pack were fine.

“Look over them, protect them, and keep them safe.” Whispering a prayer to those who listened.

His reply came as I climbed into bed. Biting on the inside of my cheek, with a shake of my head. Because I was sat here with one of his tee’s on.

It felt comfortable to sleep in, falling mid-thigh, baggy. And sometimes when he wasn’t here, it felt like his gentle touch mixed with the scent of him too.

[Perfectly acceptable? Remind me to snap at you.]

Chuckling, I crossed my legs thinking about how I used to sleep, and how I do now.

[Some parts of my sleeping habits have evolved since I freely started to share my bed. I like the touch  of fabric on my skin when you aren’t here.]

My eyes fell on my bed. And how I was sat on ‘my side’ leaving ‘his side’ vacant.

•- Embry Call -•

[Oh yes, please!!] I fired off fast with a low chuckle. #Quil would just assume I was amused at the memes flooding the group chat for unofficial pack talk.

[Missing the touch of someone…] I deleted the last word because it wasn't someone, for either of us. She felt as I did. It was my touch she was looking for, just like I was missing hers. [Me next you. I know the feeling. Sharing a bed with someone was always annoying to me… awkward. Not that it happened often. But with you… in the bubble. I just want you close.]

Now that twinge of missing  her stretched out again. But I smiled… I had something… shared something with someone else do powerful and deep it was worth missing.

[That feeling… missing you… it reminds me that we have something worth missing. People say it's supposed to feel bad but it's not, I  suppose it would be if we couldn't see each other. We created something together that is worthy of being missed. Isn't that incredible?] I hit send before reading it. Texting wasn't my favourite kind on communication, but it had benefits. Like talking to Leah with #Quil in the next room.

•- Leah Clearwater -•

“Such a Wisearse.” I didn’t reply with this, just said it out loud making my warrior chuckle. She liked this side of him. The cheeky shit, who got under my skin.

But when we read what can in next. I was left wondering again.

‘He is doing it again. Shining a light.’ She wasn’t wrong.

Missing someone…. No… missing him? Missing our conversations, our silences, the way he fidgets when I want to read. And still manages to give me the time I need to decompress.

I hadn’t had this before. Only my family understands this part of me and gave me what I needed. Even if they wished I would want to willingly be alone.

[I don’t remember saying I missed you.] I could tease as well as the next person.

[But… if I did… I guess I can see where you are coming from. After all, I’m a gift from the spirits, of course nights without me are challenging.]

The next text I let the jokes go.

[You are right, it’s new to have something worth all this. Worth protecting. Worth sharing.]

•- Embry Call -•

I shook my head with a wide grin at her first message and before I could finish my reply she text again.

[You didn't? Wow... In that case, it must be a mind reader! You should try and sleep, Trouble. You had a long day.] I this was a day she struggled with and even if it made my chest ache... it was her struggle, her journey. And I needed to let her make it her way. I sent a second message.

[No storm can burst this bubble, Leah]

(Music: The Bones (with Hozier) · Maren Morris · Hozier)

•- Leah Clearwater -•

You guessed it, it earned him an eye roll. But the music was his saving Grace from a sarcastic reply.

[Keep dreaming, Embry. Good night.]

And I meant it, his dreams were a place of good. When he chose to share them with me, the made me smile.

Tapping on play, I set my phone down on the pillow beside me.

Letting my hair drop open, I lay back willing myself to relax, to be, to… spend tonight not punishing myself for the first time since I lost my Da.

The End