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Is anyone out there who has experience with an avoidant, or is one themselves and might be open to a few questions?
I was in this relationship with a dismissive avoidant, and I can go on about the trauma that I felt during and after.. but what I really want to share is how she taught me to be present in the moment.
I guess because avoidants are wired to move on and not keep long term relationships, they make effort to enjoy the moment or maybe that's just her.
Either way I am thankful for that gift among others she's left me..
But she would be my 1st and last avoidant.
The brutal truth about relationships with avoidant partners is that your generous heart and willingness to give endlessly are not virtues in their eyes—they're weaknesses to be exploited. In this video, we dive deep into the psychology of why your overgiving backfires, how it trains them to value you less, and the counterintuitive strategy you MUST implement to reclaim your power and change the dynamic for good. If you're exhausted from pouring from an empty cup into someone who doesn't reciprocate, this is your guide to creating a relationship based on mutual respect, or discovering the freedom to walk away with your worth intact. ⏰ TIMESTAMPS: 0:00 - The Brutal Truth About Avoidant Partners 2:15 - Why Your Generosity Backfires (The Psychology) 5:48 - What They Really Think of Your Love 8:32 - The Scarcity Principle: How Withholding Creates Desire 12:10 - What You're Giving Away That They DON'T Deserve 16:45 - The Strategic Withdrawal: How to Give Less Effectively 20:30 - Their Predictable Response (The 8 Stages) 22:50 - The Long-Term Strategy for Sustainable Love
I remove my energy from wherever it’s not valued and/or reciprocated. What you make of that (or don’t) is none of my business.
Have you found this page yet Brendon? A more anonymous way for you to read without being tied to reading it? Even though I consider reddit analytics a 50/50 on accuracy, I think it's telling how the Canada percentage is always the highest or the second highest on my posts.
Again, 50/50 on accuracy but not a completely dismissible premise. I know you love to lurk and that's why you always had your invisible status on with discord.
Primera entrada
Últimamente siento que más información es peor.
No les pasa que hay tanta terapia, tanta información de la conducta humana, tanta cosa que cuando sos una overthinker es como mucha información. Entonces estas constantemente pensando en el por qué de las acciones de los otros y justificando sus motivos sin preguntar, sin saber, solo por supersticiones y suposiciones por exceso de información.
Me encantaría dejar de pensar tanto. Me encantaría no tener mi cerebro a veces; a pesar de que considero que es una de las razones por las cual soy tan inteligente.
Mi cerebro funciona más rápido, adelantado al resto. Y no para agrandarme, todo lo contrario. Es un problema. Porque quiero saber constantemente los motivos antes que nada.
Nunca salí con alguien asi. Sin pensar en que hace, en por que no me habla; cuestionando constantemente si quiere salir conmigo o no. Y creo que no es normal; no es divertido. La paso mas mal que bien. El exceso de información no ayuda. No quiero estar constantemente pensando en motivos que alimenten mi ansiedad.
Ayer me apareció un video que decía que el cuerpo confunde la emoción de conocer a alguien con ansiedad, porque los síntomas son parecidos. Ven? Más información. La cantidad de información que me aparecen de avoidants es infumable. Porque siempre te dice "Tenes que entender al avoidant"; Tenes que darle su espacio". Y quien le da la seguridad que necesita a una ansiosa? Quien valida sus emociones, su necesidad de afirmación? Sus herida de abandono?
Es un tema.. porque yo puedo aceptar muchas cosas; pero porque la gente no piensa en lo que yo quiero también? Es necesario de verdad que aprenda a usar mis palabras?
Que garrón.....