🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
Noah Kahan
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
RMH
The Stonewall Inn
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Cosimo Galluzzi
No title available
No title available
Monterey Bay Aquarium
shark vs the universe
Misplaced Lens Cap
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
trying on a metaphor
PR's Tumblrdome
Not today Justin
cherry valley forever
Andulka
Jules of Nature
ellievsbear
seen from Indonesia
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Ukraine
seen from Tunisia
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Brazil
seen from Thailand
seen from T1
seen from Türkiye
@yearofheartbreak
I can't believe you lied about the girl having cancer and actively dying. You wanted to try and make it seem like I was a bad person for reaching out to her to figure out what was going on with you. But you were just using her and leading her on too!
You are a piece of work Brendon, and not in a good way.
Have you found this page yet Brendon? A more anonymous way for you to read without being tied to reading it? Even though I consider reddit analytics a 50/50 on accuracy, I think it's telling how the Canada percentage is always the highest or the second highest on my posts.
Again, 50/50 on accuracy but not a completely dismissible premise. I know you love to lurk and that's why you always had your invisible status on with discord.
Some people feel entitled to regulate others’ speech when they feel personally challenged.
I'm begging you all. Please find something better to do with your life other than worrying about someone elses. I can post my opinions and thoughts anywhere I want. You all do the same thing.
I promise that I will not let you get the last word and will continually remind you how you're just being displaced by someone's opinion being different than yours.
Don't try to argue and then resort to name calling because that's all you have left. I'll still respond, without the name calling and childlike moral superiority, and tell you that you need to find happiness instead of insulting someone on the internet to make yourself feel powerful.
Been seeing too many pop-psychology attachment theory posts that demonize avoidant attachment lately, so for the record:
You are not entitled to anyone else's time or affection.
People are allowed to leave you if they do not want a relationship with you.
People do not have to give you a reason that you approve of, or even a reason at all, to leave you if they do not want a relationship with you.
Your own co-dependency issues and attachment to someone else does not trump that person's ability to deny consent.
No-one is obligated to give you attention just because you want them to.
No-one is obligated to stay in a relationship they don't want to be in, even if the other person hasn't done anything wrong.
No-one is obligated to stay in a relationship they don't want to be in, even if the other person is mentally ill.
Attempting to force someone to stay through coercion, guilt tripping, or threats of suicide/self-harm is abusive.
This is the exact reason all these people are running around thinking it's okay to lead others on and break people's heart under some self inflicted guise of 'I can't'. No you just want your cake and to eat it to.
Say what you mean and mean what you say. If you don't mean it then move out the way for someone who does.
This thinking is just as bad as the 'pop psychology' posts.
Yes they can leave at any time but not after they've lovebombed you to make you believe you want them and then start acting shady without an explanation.
Yes they are obligated to give me attention if they told me they wanted a relationship and did everything to get my attention and then lovebombed.
Yes if you told me you loved me and wanted to be with me, then I deserve to know why you either lied about that or changed your mind.
For all the ones that have been discarded. Don't let people like the OP make your feelings less than. If your heart was broken then it was broken and you deserve closure.
Avoidants are not good people that know exactly what they're doing.
Given that someone else already tried to talk some sense into you and it didn't work, I really don't have much hope for you. But for the record, replying to a post about how it's wrong for people to weaponize the demonization of avoidant attachment to justify abuse and disagreeing with it, isn't a good look.
Also no, having avoidant attachment does not inherently make a person abusive or toxic. You're taking your own previous negative experiences to assume that all avoidant people are intentionally and maliciously emotionally abusing people, which is demonstrably false. The things you are describing in your reblog are not the things I am discussing in the original post.
You're also assuming that I'm trying to invalidate people who have been hurt by romantic rejection, and I'm not. Let me make this as clear as I possible can: this post is calling out abusive behaviour. The things that I list in the post, that you are defending, are forms of abuse.
Threatening self-harm and suicide when someone tries to leave, demanding a partner give you reasons you deem appropriate before they are "allowed" to leave, assuming you are entitled to another persons' affection and attempting to coerce them into giving it you when they do not want to, are all examples of abuse.
You are defending abuse.
It's especially horrific that you appear to disagree with the statements: "your own co-dependency issues and attachment to someone else does not trump that person's ability to deny consent" and "attempting to force someone to stay through coercion, guilt tripping, or threats of suicide/self-harm is abusive".
You very clearly do not respect other people's consent and autonomy by this response, and no amount of you attempting to deflect by further demonizing avoidant attachment is going to mask that.
If you feel called out and offended by me stating that abuse tactics are immoral, perhaps you should reflect on that instead of spewing demonizing and misinformed word salad on other people's posts.
Here we go lmao. You clearly have no sense for nuance. Did I ever state that abuse was fine? Definitely not, but do you know that love bombing and leading someone on under false pretense is also emotional abuse?
You and the other poster are clearly trying to invalidate and experience just because you don't like what I said. There's context to everything which is why I mentioned that under certain conditions, accountability and an explanation is needed.
I don't feel called out at all, I would love to have a dialogue about why you think a form of emotional abuse is acceptable? Because you are cosigning that it's okay to get someone in an emotional bond and then discard/ghost them because (the avoidant) is unable to communicate.
I've never personally threatened harm on myself for someone else leaving me but I've had it done to me when leaving someone and guess what? I still left because that's manipulation. Never did I say that was okay.
What I did say was if you love bomb, emotionally hook someone, and tell them that you love them/future fake, lead them on, etc. Then yes, you do owe then an explanation.
Like I told the other person, please focus on something that makes you happy. I have no hope for you, considering you're replying to me like 2+ days after I rebloggd something and you're just still so upset at someone having their own thoughts and opinions. Maybe it's time for you to get off tumblr.
Replying to a post in which I'm calling out abusive behaviour and disagreeing with it, does in fact imply that you are in support of those behaviours. You can have whatever personal grievances with avoidants you'd like, that doesn't mean that you can just derail posts about the abusive behaviours of those with anxious attachment and expect everyone to be okay with that.
You're completely and intentionally misconstruing the point of my original post to make arguments against things I never said. You saw a post saying that demonizing avoidant attachment to excuse abuse is wrong, and you felt attacked by that. If you didn't, you wouldn't have response with a long winded and barely coherent rant about how abusive avoidants are and how entitled to other people's affection you are.
I didn't discuss how avoidant behaviour can lead to abuse or neglect in the original post because that's not what the post was about. You're angry that I didn't discuss an issue entirely separate from the one I was aiming to discuss, and assuming that just because I didn't explicitly mention abuse committed by avoidant people that I am saying that it doesn't exist. Not only is that a seriously illogical conclusion to come to, it's flat out insulting.
If you care so much about a separate issue to the one being discussed in a post you stumble across, you make your own post about the issue you want to discuss. You do not derail a post about an issue as serious as abuse, and you certainly do not make disgusting accusations about the original poster simply because they are not discussing the issue you want them to. This is basic internet etiquette. I shouldn't have to explain this to you.
By your own admission, we are discussing separate issues and separate contexts. If you understand that, then the only reason you would derail my original post in such an inflammatory way is if you felt called out by people stating that justifying abuse through the demonization of avoidant people is wrong. And given that your account is full of nothing but demonization of avoidant people, it is abundantly clear that is the case.
You can't walk into someone else's space, spout such disgusting rhetoric, and then be surprised when people continue to disagree with you instead of immediately fawning to your unacceptable and deeply concerning behaviour.
Also, the reason why I didn't respond immediately is because I actually do have a life outside of Tumblr. I've barely been using it for the past few weeks as I've been busy with personal things. Insinuating I'm chronically online and telling me to get off Tumblr because I took two days to respond to you just sounds like a bad joke. I also literally only replied to you once, so "still replying" sounds ridiculous as well.
I'm also not upset about this at all. You are far from the first person to come onto my account and say illogical and harmful things. I was firm with you because of the horrific nature of what you were saying, but I do not care about you personally in the slightest. You're also far from the first person on Tumblr to demonize avoidants, hence why I made the original post in the first place.
You can try to twist this however you'd like, but the fact of the matter is that you came onto a post criticizing abuse, disagreed with it, and then threw a tantrum when people didn't immediately fawn to your abuse apologism. No-one forced you to do any of this, and no-one was overly emotional except for you.
As sincerely as I can possibly say this, please go to the therapy as soon as you have the means to. And if you are already in therapy, consider airing out these kinds of thoughts there instead of engaging in abuse apologism on the internet.
Again, no sense for context or nuance. We can go back and forth about this, sending short stories about thoughts and opinions, but at the end of the day, you still have absolutely no affect on me at all. You and the two other people who were obviously displaced by me standing on my experiences have some serious things to work on in life.
Abuse is wrong in all forms. Regardless if it's physical, mental, emotional, etc. There are two sides to pretty much every story. Anxious people should be accountable for what they say and how they go about expressing their anxiousness in regards to relationships but the other party, avoidant or not, also has to be accountable for their part in things too.
Good thing that this is the internet, I'm someone with autonomy and you can not dictate what I say, how I say it and where. If I want to make a comment or reblog something adding my opinion or thoughts, I can and there's actually nothing you can do about it. Delete the post if it bothers you so much.
I've actually had quite a few people agree with me, they're just not wanting to be harassed and abused by people like you. And I saw that anon question/ask that was sent to you. Fortunately I'm not afraid of saying whatever I need to say to you, to your face(through a post) so no, that was actually someone that understands both sides of the story.
I also didn't say 'still replying' I said you're replying x amount later. Please actually read before you cherry pick something to comment on. Here we go with the name calling even though I haven't called you or anyone else, a single name. I hope you get some help with regulating and that moral superiority that you have.
I threw a temper tantrum but yet you and your and buddies are the ones ganging up on me cause you can't handle someone else having an opinion you don't agree with? Jeez, how do you actually function in life? I made a comment and a reblog, you and your internet friends escalated it because you're displaced by my words. That's okay, your low empathy explains that. You were in fact over emotional, along with the other two people. It's actually pretty interesting.
There's nothing for me to twist because I've pretty much been repeating myself. All abuse is bad, one is not worse than the other but avoidants know what they're doing and they need to be held accountable for how they play with people.
I hope you find therapy with your laundry list of issues pinned to your profile. We all struggle in ways but it's not really something to be proud of in the gist of things. Sounds like you like the way you are, which is an entirely different problem in itself.
We can keep going back and forth if you like but you're not as profound as you think you are.
Man people on here really have some gall to think that they can control what others say on the internet
I never spoke badly of you, I only spoke the truth of what you did. If that truth casts you in shadow, that was never my doing.
So many keyboard psychologists on here. It's actually entertaining besides the fact that you all literally have no sense for nuance or context and refuse to actually use those things in relation to what you're reading.
Too bad that no one will ever scare me away from speaking my mind.
Especially random ass people on the internet.
Been seeing too many pop-psychology attachment theory posts that demonize avoidant attachment lately, so for the record:
You are not entitled to anyone else's time or affection.
People are allowed to leave you if they do not want a relationship with you.
People do not have to give you a reason that you approve of, or even a reason at all, to leave you if they do not want a relationship with you.
Your own co-dependency issues and attachment to someone else does not trump that person's ability to deny consent.
No-one is obligated to give you attention just because you want them to.
No-one is obligated to stay in a relationship they don't want to be in, even if the other person hasn't done anything wrong.
No-one is obligated to stay in a relationship they don't want to be in, even if the other person is mentally ill.
Attempting to force someone to stay through coercion, guilt tripping, or threats of suicide/self-harm is abusive.
This is the exact reason all these people are running around thinking it's okay to lead others on and break people's heart under some self inflicted guise of 'I can't'. No you just want your cake and to eat it to.
Say what you mean and mean what you say. If you don't mean it then move out the way for someone who does.
This thinking is just as bad as the 'pop psychology' posts.
Yes they can leave at any time but not after they've lovebombed you to make you believe you want them and then start acting shady without an explanation.
Yes they are obligated to give me attention if they told me they wanted a relationship and did everything to get my attention and then lovebombed.
Yes if you told me you loved me and wanted to be with me, then I deserve to know why you either lied about that or changed your mind.
For all the ones that have been discarded. Don't let people like the OP make your feelings less than. If your heart was broken then it was broken and you deserve closure.
Avoidants are not good people that know exactly what they're doing.
Given that someone else already tried to talk some sense into you and it didn't work, I really don't have much hope for you. But for the record, replying to a post about how it's wrong for people to weaponize the demonization of avoidant attachment to justify abuse and disagreeing with it, isn't a good look.
Also no, having avoidant attachment does not inherently make a person abusive or toxic. You're taking your own previous negative experiences to assume that all avoidant people are intentionally and maliciously emotionally abusing people, which is demonstrably false. The things you are describing in your reblog are not the things I am discussing in the original post.
You're also assuming that I'm trying to invalidate people who have been hurt by romantic rejection, and I'm not. Let me make this as clear as I possible can: this post is calling out abusive behaviour. The things that I list in the post, that you are defending, are forms of abuse.
Threatening self-harm and suicide when someone tries to leave, demanding a partner give you reasons you deem appropriate before they are "allowed" to leave, assuming you are entitled to another persons' affection and attempting to coerce them into giving it you when they do not want to, are all examples of abuse.
You are defending abuse.
It's especially horrific that you appear to disagree with the statements: "your own co-dependency issues and attachment to someone else does not trump that person's ability to deny consent" and "attempting to force someone to stay through coercion, guilt tripping, or threats of suicide/self-harm is abusive".
You very clearly do not respect other people's consent and autonomy by this response, and no amount of you attempting to deflect by further demonizing avoidant attachment is going to mask that.
If you feel called out and offended by me stating that abuse tactics are immoral, perhaps you should reflect on that instead of spewing demonizing and misinformed word salad on other people's posts.
Here we go lmao. You clearly have no sense for nuance. Did I ever state that abuse was fine? Definitely not, but do you know that love bombing and leading someone on under false pretense is also emotional abuse?
You and the other poster are clearly trying to invalidate and experience just because you don't like what I said. There's context to everything which is why I mentioned that under certain conditions, accountability and an explanation is needed.
I don't feel called out at all, I would love to have a dialogue about why you think a form of emotional abuse is acceptable? Because you are cosigning that it's okay to get someone in an emotional bond and then discard/ghost them because (the avoidant) is unable to communicate.
I've never personally threatened harm on myself for someone else leaving me but I've had it done to me when leaving someone and guess what? I still left because that's manipulation. Never did I say that was okay.
What I did say was if you love bomb, emotionally hook someone, and tell them that you love them/future fake, lead them on, etc. Then yes, you do owe then an explanation.
Like I told the other person, please focus on something that makes you happy. I have no hope for you, considering you're replying to me like 2+ days after I rebloggd something and you're just still so upset at someone having their own thoughts and opinions. Maybe it's time for you to get off tumblr.
For all those avoidants that like to act like what they do isn't wrong.
You're allowed to leave.
You are not allowed to manufacture intimacy, emotional or otherwise, you know you cannot sustain and then disappear without honesty.
Attachment style explains behavior; it does not excuse harm
Been seeing too many pop-psychology attachment theory posts that demonize avoidant attachment lately, so for the record:
You are not entitled to anyone else's time or affection.
People are allowed to leave you if they do not want a relationship with you.
People do not have to give you a reason that you approve of, or even a reason at all, to leave you if they do not want a relationship with you.
Your own co-dependency issues and attachment to someone else does not trump that person's ability to deny consent.
No-one is obligated to give you attention just because you want them to.
No-one is obligated to stay in a relationship they don't want to be in, even if the other person hasn't done anything wrong.
No-one is obligated to stay in a relationship they don't want to be in, even if the other person is mentally ill.
Attempting to force someone to stay through coercion, guilt tripping, or threats of suicide/self-harm is abusive.
This is the exact reason all these people are running around thinking it's okay to lead others on and break people's heart under some self inflicted guise of 'I can't'. No you just want your cake and to eat it to.
Say what you mean and mean what you say. If you don't mean it then move out the way for someone who does.
This thinking is just as bad as the 'pop psychology' posts.
Yes they can leave at any time but not after they've lovebombed you to make you believe you want them and then start acting shady without an explanation.
Yes they are obligated to give me attention if they told me they wanted a relationship and did everything to get my attention and then lovebombed.
Yes if you told me you loved me and wanted to be with me, then I deserve to know why you either lied about that or changed your mind.
For all the ones that have been discarded. Don't let people like the OP make your feelings less than. If your heart was broken then it was broken and you deserve closure.
Avoidants are not good people that know exactly what they're doing.
If you're mad at your exes, text them all of this. Or call. Your exes, you know? If you have guts as an anxiously attached person, that is.
I'm not anxiously attached, it's called I was lied to and manipulated for a year by an avoidant who could've just told the truth. I would love to say a lot to his face but he's too scared to face me after all he's lied about. I have more guts than him and you.
Then call your damned ex up and blast him, no one else should have to listen to you project your trashy ex on them.
And oh, sure you have more guts than us. So much that you have to write it out loud. 🫶
This post is also something you're taking out of context, as someone who is probably not aware of attachment issues in the first place, because it's precisely directed at anxiously attached individuals who used said tactics of demanding attention, emotional "support"(more like coddling and endless supply) through blackmail, manipulation and threats of self harm.
But it's so much easier to blast a random group of individuals who are already blamed for hell and earth by anxious avoidants... Lol
Aww I'm sorry that obviously you have treated some people in your life not right and now you're triggered by someone speaking their truth.
Fortunately, I will do and say whatever I want, whenever I want, wherever I want. You're right, you don't have to read/listen so why are you still here?? lol.
Yes I'm writing stuff 'out loud' because I have free will, do you not? I'm confused on when you, specifically, became the internet police? What rank are you? Or wait, are you a psychologist?
I am very aware of attachment styles, it's called I was replying to something with my own personal opinion. Which is what the internet is used for, among a lot of other things.
I'm aware of the games all kinds of people play, avoidant, anxious, dismissive, etc. They're all wrong. Talking, explaining, and communication all works.
I hope you focus on your art in the future instead of being so upset at someone else's experience and them wanting to express what happened to them 🫶
One thing I am tired of, is all of these internet psychologist wanting to defend avoidant behavior as if it's normal. It's not! Stop thinking shitty behavior towards others is normal, it's not! Treating people like they're disposable is a crappy thing to do.
I will not be bullied or silenced or 'you're anxiously attached'.
Please realize you're met your match and I will respond to your nonsensical comments and reblogs and will definitely tell you a thing or two.
Stop minimizing my pain and experience.
Been seeing too many pop-psychology attachment theory posts that demonize avoidant attachment lately, so for the record:
You are not entitled to anyone else's time or affection.
People are allowed to leave you if they do not want a relationship with you.
People do not have to give you a reason that you approve of, or even a reason at all, to leave you if they do not want a relationship with you.
Your own co-dependency issues and attachment to someone else does not trump that person's ability to deny consent.
No-one is obligated to give you attention just because you want them to.
No-one is obligated to stay in a relationship they don't want to be in, even if the other person hasn't done anything wrong.
No-one is obligated to stay in a relationship they don't want to be in, even if the other person is mentally ill.
Attempting to force someone to stay through coercion, guilt tripping, or threats of suicide/self-harm is abusive.
This is the exact reason all these people are running around thinking it's okay to lead others on and break people's heart under some self inflicted guise of 'I can't'. No you just want your cake and to eat it to.
Say what you mean and mean what you say. If you don't mean it then move out the way for someone who does.
This thinking is just as bad as the 'pop psychology' posts.
Yes they can leave at any time but not after they've lovebombed you to make you believe you want them and then start acting shady without an explanation.
Yes they are obligated to give me attention if they told me they wanted a relationship and did everything to get my attention and then lovebombed.
Yes if you told me you loved me and wanted to be with me, then I deserve to know why you either lied about that or changed your mind.
For all the ones that have been discarded. Don't let people like the OP make your feelings less than. If your heart was broken then it was broken and you deserve closure.
Avoidants are not good people that know exactly what they're doing.
If you're mad at your exes, text them all of this. Or call. Your exes, you know? If you have guts as an anxiously attached person, that is.
I'm not anxiously attached, it's called I was lied to and manipulated for a year by an avoidant who could've just told the truth. I would love to say a lot to his face but he's too scared to face me after all he's lied about. I have more guts than him and you.
Brendon
I told you I have a justice complex and you still decided to lie to me.
I begged you to just tell the truth, and you still decided to lie to me.
So unfortunately I will haunt you for the rest of your life and what you did to me will be forever published on the internet.
Been seeing too many pop-psychology attachment theory posts that demonize avoidant attachment lately, so for the record:
You are not entitled to anyone else's time or affection.
People are allowed to leave you if they do not want a relationship with you.
People do not have to give you a reason that you approve of, or even a reason at all, to leave you if they do not want a relationship with you.
Your own co-dependency issues and attachment to someone else does not trump that person's ability to deny consent.
No-one is obligated to give you attention just because you want them to.
No-one is obligated to stay in a relationship they don't want to be in, even if the other person hasn't done anything wrong.
No-one is obligated to stay in a relationship they don't want to be in, even if the other person is mentally ill.
Attempting to force someone to stay through coercion, guilt tripping, or threats of suicide/self-harm is abusive.
This is the exact reason all these people are running around thinking it's okay to lead others on and break people's heart under some self inflicted guise of 'I can't'. No you just want your cake and to eat it to.
Say what you mean and mean what you say. If you don't mean it then move out the way for someone who does.
This thinking is just as bad as the 'pop psychology' posts.
Yes they can leave at any time but not after they've lovebombed you to make you believe you want them and then start acting shady without an explanation.
Yes they are obligated to give me attention if they told me they wanted a relationship and did everything to get my attention and then lovebombed.
Yes if you told me you loved me and wanted to be with me, then I deserve to know why you either lied about that or changed your mind.
For all the ones that have been discarded. Don't let people like the OP make your feelings less than. If your heart was broken then it was broken and you deserve closure.
Avoidants are not good people that know exactly what they're doing.
Brendon, I'm so disappointed in you. Did I put too much weight on you being older so surely you would have some maturity? Of course. Usually with people that have been married and then end up divorced, there's some kind of growth but you just went backwards didn't you?
It's like a little less than a month until 'you're back' and I'm honestly wondering if you're going to try and even explain anything. If you'll have the balls to face me and tell me the truth. Courage takes a lot and do you have it in you?
You've spent so much time deleting accounts and trying to scrub yourself off the internet instead of apologizing and that's kind of wild.
Brendon
You know what fucking sucks the most about all of this?
I fucking believed you!
So now here we are, instead of you coming to talk to me, you would rather drive up my view count on posts on reddit. You unblocked me on discord but don't have the courage to face me. Was that the infamous Mark that messaged me on there?
You're not the first person to lie to me and you won't be the last but you know the things you said to me. You know how you made me feel, and the things you promised. You know I told you I was wary and you assured me you wanted me and the relationship.
You're literally 42, and yes I'm just going to go all out with details on here, why are you acting this way?
Why make the choices to hurt me when you could've just told me the truth?
