"You need to use tools to put food in your mouths". This was the information that killed any kind of hope I once had to understand humanity . How could I simulate this deep need for something I couldn't care less? I couldn't! So this is the story about how I gave up trying achieve "human passability" because of forks, knifes, spoons and chopsticks (yeah, I live in an various-origins-from-extreme-east neighborhood, so chopsticks are a thing!) First, an anthropological view: the society I was raised in gives a lot of importance to the capacity of a child to manage food-tools autonomously. It's a minor requirement of the great set of abilities you must detain to configure as a "so growned up already!" by your grandmother's opinion. After the initial joy, to use your recent-achieved ability becomes an obligation. You would be a total jerk if you refuse yourself to help your mama and keep using your hands to eat your peas is not tolerable anymore cause now you are 5yo and you're "already a grown up!" It's a very bad thing to try to test how much your mom's love for you resists in front of your continued refusal to use the appropriate tools to drive your food from your plate to your oral cavity. No, it doesn't matter if this dispensation should be done carrying little green balls with an almost-flat surface. It doesn't concern anyone that the path of this noble delivery, when you're 5yo means, literally, 20 cm. And don't even start with the "hygienic argument": food-tools are not hygienical by any point of view. In fact, there are so many tuberculosis's bacillus in any fork than are in my shoes. Or my hands. And a 5 yo child eating with a spoon doesn't make less of a mess in comparison with a child eating with its hands. Especially if the hypothetical child is left-handed. So, with no reason whatsoever, you humans use food-tools and get really angry at those who don't comprehend the need of this purely-social tacit agreement. I knew I was otherkin since I was a little boy. In fact, the first time I was sent to a shrink and got pathologized by school-family-doctors (I was 7yo) it was because I growled to an annoying friend at school. But I only found myself free to eat with my bare hands at public spaces two months ago. Now I am 31. I was already tongue splitted and my eyes were already black colored. So I was living as an non-human beast for the parameters of the society I was living in, but still was difficult to abandon the use of food-tools. I was at an sushi and seafood restaurant with my girlfriend and I was too tired to afford the use of chopsticks. Then I gave myself a social liberation to attempt a meal without the absurd obligation of using food-tools. First, as expected, I was ashamed of what would the humans around me think about my nasty behaviour. Then I realized they would probably think I was weird. As They ALWAYS Do No Matter How I Behave Humans know we are not like them. They are very poor verbalizing what they feel, but humans have esthesis. And they cannot explain why and how, but they know we are not like them. They feel this "something about" in our energetic signatures/soul/aura/whatever you call it. So, there's no reason to be so hard on ourselves trying to "pass by" among the humans. We won't pass. Because we are not humans. And that's okay! Just try not to exagerate and, I don't know, don't dig at your's mother-in-law rose bushes. It would be too much! But try to bark or hiss sometimes. It aliviates a little bit and you wouldn't be an exemple of normality anyway! And, please, try to eat without food-tools if you want to. Maybe it would be relieving to you like it was to me! <3
