#ay you

[theycallmekaibara]

That bodyguard/princess thing...that’s peak yearning @fireside-farmers

[starlightfae]

a looooong time ago i made a post about an AU where john was a bratty prince and i believe there were a couple of different scenarios? the one i remember was the johndave one, dave would be an exiled prince from a rival kingdom that comes to serve john as a knight

Anyways, so as I said Bro basically ruins everything by starting a war with the Prospit Kingdom, and it of course bites him in the ass when the Prospit King (Mr. Egbert) is killed and his son, Prince John, gathers up his army and his 3 most trusted officials (Jake and Jade are knights, his sister Jane is a medic) and goes to invade Derse to avenge his father. he executes Bro in front of his army and the people of Derse, but when his army calls for him to execute the young prince as well, he hesitates. his seer (Rose) told him before he left Prospit that if any harm befalls Dave, it will surely be Prospit's demise. And also Dave is fucking terrified and has no idea what's happening so?? John spares him, deciding Dave can work as his personal handmaid (is there a male name for a handmaid?) because he left his usual handmaid (Kanaya) back in Prospit.

Dave's completely fucking useless, he's clumsy as fuck and keeps breaking shit but he's really cute and Jade informs him he's being bullied by the Prospit maids that came to the Derse kingdom to serve John, so he lets Dave sleep in his room (to Jake's and Jane's dismay, but Jade says he's harmless and she's usually right about this kind of stuff so they let it go). and one night a nightmare wakes him up and he finds Dave crying and at first he thinks it's because of Bro's death (they DID execute him right in front of Dave) but no he's crying about his dad and his brother and "sisters" (the Lalondes) and that everyone leaves him and John feels super bad and orders Jake to go find Prince Dirk and his army and begin negotiations (because John actually doesn't want to own Derse, he wants Dirk and Dave to have it back and to form an alliance and also. for Dave to be reunited with his family so he won't be sad)

and it's good that he does because Dirk had just heard about the invasion and he assumes Dave was also executed and is furious, but Roxy finds Jake while scouting and brings him back to Dirk so he can tell Dirk that no. Dave is still alive. and John wants to give him his kingdom back and start negotiations. (also, Dirkjake, Jake stays with Dirk and they send Roxy back to John because Dirk wants to spend more time with Jake). and they works things out and Dirk takes the Derse throne and forms an alliance with John (they call it the Skaian Alliance)

Rose predicts that the people of Derse and Prospit will never truly be at peace unless the alliance is given a more..... matrimonial joining. aka SOMEONE ROYAL has to get married. and everyone is freaking out like? does that mean John and Dirk have to marry?? but what about Dirk and Jake?? what?? but Rose and Dave both know exactly what it means and Dave says that if John will have him, he'd like to be his husband. and everyone is like "OOOOOH that makes more sense"

and so John and Dave become the first high kings of Skaia. Dirk and Jake become the Derse Kings, and Jane and Roxy later on become the Prospit Queens. also, Rose and Kanaya have been wives this entire time and idk i'm thinking Jade goes with Karkat who is a Prospit knight and Kanaya's younger brother?

[starlightfae]

No, YOU'RE straight!

AU where john and dave mutually pine after each other, and both of them think the other is straight. Dave thinks John and Vriska are a thing, and John totally thinks Dave and Terezi are dating.

John gets really emotional and blurts out that he likes Dave. Dave is like “!!??!?!?????!” and John adds “I just didn’t want to tell you because you’re straight….”

and Dave is literally offended and replies “I’m not straight, you’re straight”

John is like “no??? you’re straight!” and Dave jumps up and retorts, “no, YOU’RE straight!”

and they literally just go back and forth accusing each other of being straight until Vriska bursts into the room like “YALL GAY AS FUCK, JUST BANG ALREADY!!!!!!!!” while Terezi cackles and drags her back out of the room (they were totes listening in)

(later, John says something about how he thought Dave was dating Terezi, and Vriska is even more offended than Dave was, like “HOW DARE YOU THINK MY GIRLFRIEND IS STRAIGHT????????”)

[starlightfae]

dave strider can’t tie his shoes

he wears converse with the laces untied just fuckin flappin about all casual

there were a few disasters during sburb that could have been avoided if dave hadn’t tripped on his own goddamn laces

EB: did you just godtier regenerate? did you just die? TG: what no TG: maybe TG: ok yeah EB: how’d you die?? TG: ok so lohac has lava right TG: stepped on my laces and took an unplanned swim EB: in lava. TG: yes EB: because you stepped on your shoelaces. TG: yes EB: which were untied. TG: yes EB: tie your shoes then?? TG: nah

he’s too proud to admit it tho someone save this dumb boy from himself

[starlightfae]

i was thinking about this a while back and i just remembered it again

so there are multiple universes that collide together in the dream bubbles, right? so what if our Dave (the one with canonly abusive Bro) ran into an alternate Bro from a universe where he was effectively fanon Bro??

and Bro is super happy like “oh shit lil man i finally found you!” and Dave just flips his shit and breaks down like “nonono it can’t be you i don’t want to talk to you go away you fucking monster”

and Bro is hurt like “??? Dave, what’s wrong? are you ok??” and hes worried for a bit and then he’s like “oh wait, you probably aren’t the Dave i raised, are you?”

and Dave is like “ha yeah ‘raised’ good joke” and Bro is like “um. did your universe’s me do something bad?”

and Dave realizes it’s not HIS bro so he’s hesitant but he sits down and talks to the guy about how his bro abused him and all the things he did. and like bro is 1) super pissed and wants to kill his alt self, and 2) freaking out bc some of the things they did were similar. alt Bro had sword fights with his Dave and sometimes would throw smuppets at him or leave Cal in random places. it wasn’t insistent like Dave’s version of bro (and if he hurt his dave during sword fights he would panic and patch the kid up, it was PRACTICE not “beat the shit out of a child” time)

but anyways they kinda just talk for a bit until dave’s like “i’m waking up so i’ll be leaving soon” and bro is secretly relieved the kid isn’t dead and is just sleeping and idk it’s just really weird for both of them but also kinda nice??

he tells alt bro how they beat the game and bro ruffles his hair and says he’s really proud and dave just. starts crying. bc that’s all he ever needed from bro? was for the guy to love him and be proud of him (and, you know, NOT beat him up on the roof??) and alt bro hugs him and says he hopes to meet up with him again one day if he can’t meet up with his own dave. they come up with a codeword so dave knows it’s alt bro and not

you know

HIS bro

idk i wrote a lot i just really like the idea of fanon bro interacting with canon dave

[starlightfae]

Stridercest Week Day 2 (DirkHal)

@stridercest–week

favorite Stridercest AU: DirkHal nekomimi!Hal

(i don’t think I could choose a favorite tbh. but nekomimis are gr8)

I wanted to write earlier but. 

me tum hurt.

me tum still hurt but i’m ignoring it.

[mardons]

Aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou aeiou

[kingsleigh]

“Did you hit your head?”

She leans at the edge of her seat, voice and visage a mixture of confusion and excitement, mixing with her nerves !  She felt somewhat dizzy - like she was dreaming, the creases of her sight wavering with every blink ( HOW STRANGE ? ) .

           ‘  surely - i must have; I fear I may not be making much sense -  ‘  slender hand raises to gingerly touch her forhead, as though inspecting for some damage - a wrinkle forming betwixt invisible brow.    ‘  pardon for my taking so much of your time, sir.  I hope i’m not a burden.  ‘