babydaddy!rafe who’s been in love with you way before any of this started. back when you were just friends, back when you kept him at arm’s length, because he knew even then you were it for him.
babydaddy!rafe who never tried for a relationship with you, even though it killed him a little, because he knew you saw the worst parts of him, and he couldn’t blame you for not wanting that.
babydaddy!rafe who bought an 8 ct, square cut diamond ring set in gold the same week you told him you were pregnant, didn’t even hesitate. just walked into the store and said, “i need the best one you got.” and he didn’t even ask you right away, just kept it on him, waiting for the right moment, or maybe for you to be ready. but will test the waters casually, making little comments, like “when you’re my wife..”
babydaddy!rafe who didn’t even hesitate when you told him you were pregnant. he was ecstatic, jumping off the walls like this was the best news he's heard in his life, and it was for him. there was nothing that would make him second guess, just him pulling you into him, hands steady on your face. “we’re gonna be the best parents.”
babydaddy!rafe who wanted that baby more than anything the second he knew it was yours and his, like something in his life finally made sense.
babydaddy!rafe who went from late nights at the country club, drunk and reckless, to being the one making sure you were okay every second of the day. and he cleaned himself up for you, not overnight, and nothing near perfect but enough that you could see the difference, feel the effort, and truly just trust him.
babydaddy!rafe who goes to every appointment, even the small ones, sitting there a little stiff and nervous but never missing a thing, making sure the baby is healthy and growing.
babydaddy!rafe who makes sure you’re always comfortable, always taken care of, buying anything and everything you need to make sure you don’t ever feel an ounce of pain or stress, like it’s non negotiable. so when you wake up with morning sickness, he’s always at your side holding your hair back, rubbing small circles on your back “there you go baby, let it all out” he says with that morning voice, you always go weak for. and you never know how he can always be there even for the grosser moments, but you never question him, cause in his mind, taking care of you is not optional, it’s just what he does.
babydaddy!rafe who never lets you go hungry, always showing up with food before you even realize you need it. “you gotta eat my love, for her.”
babydaddy!rafe who rests his hand on your stomach all the time when you’re pregnant, like he needs to feel her there, needs the reminder that this is real. even in public, every slither of a chance he gets, his hands find your stomach, and he’s proud of it, like he wants everyone to see.
babydaddy!rafe who talks to your belly when he thinks you’re asleep, low voice, softer than anyone’s ever heard it. “hey baby, daddy’s right here.”
babydaddy!rafe who buys everything for the baby before she’s even here, overpreparing like crazy but acting like it’s no big deal. “just making sure she’s good.”
babydaddy!rafe who absolutely is infatuated with when your bump starts showing, eyes on you like yeah, that’s my family.
babydaddy!rafe who doesn’t just see you as “baby momma” he hates that term for you, actually. in his head, you’ve always been more.
babydaddy!rafe who understands that you’re not scared of commitment, you’re scared of ending up like your parents, and it softens him every time he thinks about it. he reassures you without forcing it, “you’re not them… you’re gonna be the best mom, you hear me?” and maybe the advice was more for him than it was for you.
babydaddy!rafe who doesn’t let himself think about ward. he doesn’t allow himself to have negative thoughts about if he’ll be like him, because he knows he’ll be a better father than he ever was, he’ll show your kids what real parental love is.
babydaddy!rafe who lets your friends sarah, kie, cleo, come by whenever you want, but always catches them at the door first, always asking them to keep your emotions at bay. “don’t stress her out, yeah? she’s been anxious.” he doesn’t realize you hear that sometimes, and it makes your chest ache a little, in a good way
babydaddy!rafe who works his ass off at cameron developments, longer hours, more focus, because he refuses to let you or your daughter ever worry about money. And tells you straight up, “you don’t gotta work ever again, if you don’t want to,” but never takes your independence away, just wants you safe, and to know he’s got you.
babydaddy!rafe who keeps that ring tucked away, still waiting, and hoping, even after the baby comes.
Babydaddy!rafe who after you decided on the name ‘aurora’, already gave her the nickname ‘ro’ calling her nothing but that.
babydaddy!rafe who is obsessed over your daughter, ro, the second she’s born, holding her like she’s the most fragile, important thing in the world, like she’s everything he’s ever done right.
babydaddy!rafe who looks at you differently after you have his child, like there’s this deeper respect for you, a deeper appreciation for being able to grow and create one of the most precious things in the world to him.
babydaddy!rafe who won’t let just anyone hold her, hovering close, watching every movement like he’s ready to step in if needed.
babydaddy!rafe who keeps one hand on you and one on the baby when you’re all together, like he needs to be connected to both of you at all times.
babydaddy!rafe who refuses to let you do late night shifts with ro. and complains when he catches you with her, telling you you need your sleep. but when he’s there he’s always pacing the room with her against his chest, whispering to calm her down when she’s crying
babydaddy!rafe who doesn’t just want to be your baby daddy, he wants to be your husband, wants to be your family, your forever. because when he thinks of his endgame, it always involved you, and he’s patient enough to wait for you to believe in that too.
babydaddy!rafe who’s mid convo with you on the beach, half focused on helping ro with her sandcastle, when she quietly goes “dada” and he just freezes. like fully pauses, looks at you, then back at her. “huh?” he leans closer, brows furrowed, like he needs confirmation. “say that again, ro.” and when she does? yeah he’s a mess.
babydaddy!rafe who lets out this disbelieving laugh, shaking his head like he didn’t expect it to hit him that hard, already scooping her up into his arms without even thinking. spinning her around, laughing, a little overwhelmed, a little emotional, not even trying to hide it. “you hear her? you hear that?” looking at you like this is the best thing that’s ever happened to him.
babydaddy!rafe who keeps repeating “she said dada” under his breath like he’s trying to process it, pressing kisses all over her face, completely gone.
babydaddy!rafe who loves getting pictures from your girls days when she’s older, bubble teas, shopping bags, aurora smiling in your arms, staring at them longer than he’d ever admit. looking at those pictures and thinking, that’s my whole world right there.babydaddy!rafe who is obsessed with being a girl dad, like completely letting ro paint his nails, sitting there patiently while she concentrates, wiggling his fingers after like, “how’s it look, baby?”
babydaddy!rafe who learned how to cook for you and ro, not just basic stuff either, actual high level meals, and still insists the best nights are when the two of you are in the kitchen together while ro sits on the counter ‘helping.’
babydaddy!rafe who’s back at the country club all the time again, but it’s different now. just him carrying ro’s bag, watching her practice like it’s the most important job he’s ever had.
babydaddy!rafe who takes her golf so seriously, because to him, she’s the most talented kid on the planet, waking up early with her, running drills, fixing her stance, but always reminding her, “have fun with it, yeah? that’s what matters.”
babydaddy!rafe who gets this proud, almost emotional look watching her compete, especially when she’s out there holding her own against boys twice her size and winning. and cannot shut up when ro becomes one of the first and youngest standout woman golfer in the Outer Banks, telling anyone who’ll listen, “yeah, that’s my daughter.”
babydaddy!rafe who loves how competitive she is, but even more how humble she stays, seeing so much of both of you in her.
babydaddy!rafe who ends up out with topper and kelce one night after a big win, emotions running high, and for the first time in years, he drinks. But he’s messy or reckless anymore, just soft, a little glassy eyed, leaning back in his chair talking about you and ro like they hung the moon. and keeps mumbling sappy shit like, “i don’t even know how i got this lucky. like, that’s my wife, and that’s my kid” shaking his head like he still can’t believe it. and doesn’t even realize topper is recording him, catching every word before sending it straight to you.
babydaddy!rafe who wakes up the next morning slightly embarrassed, but when you bring it up, smiling like that? yeah, he doesn’t even try to deny it.
babydaddy!rafe who has grown closer to Sarah over the years, actually putting in effort, showing up, trying to rebuild something real between them, because he realizes family really is the most important thing in the world. gets more comfortable around John B too, especially with the kids around, like they’ve both matured into something steadier.
babydaddy!rafe who watches ro run around with the other kids, then looks at you, softer than ever, like this is what he was always meant to have.
babydaddy!rafe who still looks at you the same way he did when you were younger, but now there’s no uncertainty in it. just love, pride, and something permanent.
babydaddy!rafe who finally puts that 8ct ring to use and turns into husband!rafe.
wondering about how rafe became your baby daddy, when you never even wanted to have kids right now, let alone with someone who was supposed to be nothing more than your best friend.
you kept staring at yourself in the mirror, turning side to side to make sure you liked the way this maroon dress hugged your body. “no, we have to go” rafe says as he watches you almost convince yourself it’s not the right dress. “but i feel like it’s-” he cuts you off. “y/n nah, you look great, let’s go.” he says in passing, like he’s trying to encourage you enough to go, but not really even paying attention.
your friendship with rafe had always kinda been like that. easy, in the way that you felt like it could be too easy. you’d been best friends for years at this point. you knew him better than most, saw past the stories, the girls, the reputation he had. and because of that, you never once looked at him like that. never questioned the way his eyes lingered a second too long, or the way his voice softened when it was just the two of you. to you, that was just rafe keeping up his flirt and unserious persona. it was a friendship were you felt like you didn’t need any boundaries, and maybe that was the start of all of your problems to come.
but everyone else saw it differently. especially topper and kelce, they never let him forget it, always throwing comments his way when you weren’t looking. little smirks, quiet jokes about how obvious it was, how he’d been stuck on you longer than he’d ever admit. rafe always brushed it off, played it cool, acted like it wasn’t real. but they knew, the way his attention always found you, the way he always cared more than necessary, oh they knew.
so when you showed up to sarah and john b’s wedding together, no one thought twice about it. you weren’t exactly his ‘date’ but you might as well have been. you arrived together, stood together, laughed together. it was normal, the way it had always been. just dressed up, a little more polished than usual, but still the same you and rafe everyone knew, always side by side without reason.
the night passed on, music loud with everyone dancing and laughing, drinks being chugged as conversations flowed, and sarah and john b looked like such a perfect couple. in the way that anyway with eyes could tell. you stuck close to rafe without realizing it, your arm brushing his, your laughter leaning into him, your conversations always circling back to each other. every time you looked over, he was already looking at you. every time someone pulled you away, he found his way back. like habit.
and somewhere along the way, the drinks caught up to both of you. everything felt amplified, your thoughts, your reactions, the space between you. what once felt normal started to feel different, so different.
you ended up stepping away from the reception for a moment, needing air, the noise too much, your head too light. and of course, he followed you. “you good?” rafe asks. you nod, leaning lightly against the railing, a small laugh slipping out. “yeah. just needed a second.”
he stood beside you, close enough that you can feel the heat off him. neither of you say anything at first, the air filling with a sort of feeling you weren’t use to feeling.
then outta nowhere, “you ever think about us?” he asks. your brows knit instantly, a soft laugh leaving you, thinking he must be so ridiculously drunk. “rafe, be serious.”
but he doesn’t laugh, and that’s what makes your head almost snap, to look at him properly. because there’s something there you’ve never let yourself notice before. something that’s been sitting between the lines for a long time. “i am,” he says quietly,“you’re drunk.” you quickly try to blow him off.
“yeah well, so are you,” he replies. and there it is again, that heavy tension, only getting thicker. and it doesn’t help that it feels like he just got closer, or that his gaze constantly drops to your lips, and lazily glances back up, or maybe that you’re alone away from everyone else.
“this is a bad idea,” you say, turning to face him, knowing what you both are burning to do in this moment. he nods. “fuckin’ terrible idea.” he responds only leaning closer, and neither of you move away.
his agreement barely settles between you before it clicks. your eyes flicker to his lips, just for a second, and that’s all it takes. his hand comes up first, brushing against your jaw like he’s giving you time to pull away, like he’s waiting for you to stop it, because only god know’s how bad he’s been waiting for this to happen.
“tell me to stop, tell me i shouldn’t” he whispers, almost strained, his forehead nearly brushing yours now. but you don’t, and you should, you know damn well you should. but the alcohol in your system, with the way he’s looking at you, the way everything suddenly feels so euphorically different, drowns out every bit of logic you have left.
his lips meet yours, slow at first, but then something changes in him, hungry and impatient, it’s like something he’s been holding back for way too long finally snapping loose. your breath catches instantly, your hand gripping at the front of his shirt without even thinking, pulling him closer like you need him there, like there’s no space left between you that feels right anymore.
and he moves with that. one hand sliding from your jaw to the back of your neck, the other settling firm at your waist, keeping you still against him as the kiss deepens, like he’s trying to memorize you all at once.
it’s overwhelming, because the way he’s kissing you isn’t casual, or careless, it’s so intentional for him. not just a drunk mistake, it never was gonna be. you feel that, in the way he tilts his head, in the way his grip tightens just slightly when you respond, in the quiet breath he lets out against your lips when you lean into him instead of away. and that’s the worst part, you’re not pulling back at all, but instead matching him, and fuck is this everything he needs.
your fingers slide up into his hair, holding him there, your body pressing closer without even realizing it, like something in you has been waiting for this too, you just never let yourself see it.
the world around you fades out completely, the music and voices, none of it exists anymore. it’s just you, rafe, and this moment, and how completely weird it should feel, kissing your best friend, but it feel so right at the same time.
you pull away so suddenly it almost knocks the air out of both of you. your chest is rising and falling too fast, your head spinning, not just from the alcohol anymore, but from this. from what just happened. from what you just let happen.
“come on,” you say breathlessly, not even giving him time to respond before your hand grabs his. he doesn’t even question it, just follows. you’re already moving, slipping back inside, weaving through people like nothing’s wrong, like you’re not seconds away from possibly running your friendship.
your grip on him is tight, pulling him along behind you as you head toward the stairs. you don’t look back once, like your body just took over. and you don’t notice the way kelce’s eyes catch the whole thing from across the room, how his brows lift slightly, a knowing look settling on his face almost immediately.
by the time you reach the bridesmaids’ room upstairs, your heart is pounding. you push the door open quickly, pulling him inside with you before shutting it just as fast, the click of the lock loud in the quiet room.
for a second you both just stand there, like reality is finally catching up to you, but it doesn’t. because the second he looks at you again, with those needy eyes, whatever restraint you had left, whatever restraint was barely holding on, snaps completely. “you sure about this?” he asks, but there’s barely any space between the words and him stepping closer.
you don’t even answer, already pulling him back in, taking a few steps back, so you both fall onto the bed, and any last bit of objection leaves as the kiss hits harder, as faster. your hands find him immediately, gripping at his shirt, pulling him closer like you can’t get enough, like space between you suddenly feels unbearable.
his hands are on you just as quick, deepening the kiss. it’s so messy and heated, like you’re horny teenagers and not thinking adults.
you began unbuttoning his shirt, while he unzipped your dress. his eyes darkened seeing your exposed body. you tossed the dress onto the chair by the door, reaching to undo the belt on his pants, he helped you, none of you wanted to break the kiss.
it was like a switch had flicked, his grip on you growing tight. his lips moved down, kissing your jaw, your neck, your shoulder, and then biting gently into the crook of your neck right where he knows you like it, and you gasped softly, but quickly tried to recover, trying not to give away how badly he affects you. it was like he was trying to memorize every inch of you, like he was scared to forget. his hand slid down, gripping your thigh, pulling you tighter against him.
he could feel the way your chest pressed against his, how your breathing grew more shallow against his skin, and it drove him crazy, wanting to make you lose that control you were holding onto so desperately. his fingers dug into the skin on your thigh, his lips moving along your collarbone hungrily, like this was the only thing he’s ever wanted. he loved the way your body responded to his touch, the soft gasps that escaped your lips with every move he made.
“oh rafe” you moaned. his lips curved against your skin at the sound of his name on your lips so broken and desperate. his voice was darkly amused, as he dragged his teeth over your pulse point. "yeah? that all you got?" his hand slid higher, squeezing, as if he wanted to pull every damn sound from you. and the worst part? you’d let him.
his smirk was downright sinful as he watched you unravel beneath him. "fuck, that’s pretty," he growled, his breath hot against your ear. his free hand tangled in your hair, tilting your head back just enough to catch the way your lips parted, the way your chest rose and fell too fast.
his mouth crashed back onto yours, swallowing your next moan whole. like nothing else existed, just him, his hands, and the reckless way he was tearing down every last shred of your control. and neither of you cared.
you barely register anything after that, just small flashes of the night, the way everything blurs together too fast to hold onto. the heat of him, the way your hands can’t seem to stay still, the quiet, breathless moans that fill the room between deep thrusts that never seemed to stop. it’s all rushed and reckless, like neither of you wants to think long enough to second guess it. like if you slow down even for a second, reality might catch up and ruin it.
and then it all fades, as if it was a dream you were waking up from. your last clear memory is the way his hand finds your body, after you both reach your high, pulling you into his embrace, like he can’t let go. he places a kiss to your forehead as yours eyes flutter asleep.
—
the weeks after the wedding didn’t feel real.
everything felt off. not just with rafe, though that alone was enough to throw you, but with yourself. your body felt different in ways you couldn’t even explain. you brushed it off at first. blamed it on the alcohol from that night, or the lack of sleep, the way your thoughts kept circling back to something you weren’t even remotely close to unpacking. because thinking about it, about him, and about the way you let yourself fall into that moment made your chest tighten in a way you didn’t like.
you hadn’t really talked to him since. though he texted the morning after, something simple.
rafe: hey
rafe: you okay y/n?
and you answered just as casually.
you: yeah, i’m fine.
but after that? every time he tried to see you, you found a reason not to.
you: sorry, busy
you: can’t tonight
you: rain check?
you kept it light, like nothing had changed, while also avoiding him completely. and of course, he noticed. but for once, he didn’t push the way he usually would. just let the distance grow, even if it was clearly eating at him. you tried not to think about that either.
“okay, but be honest,” katherine says, shifting on the couch beside you, her legs tucked under her as she eyes you over the rim of her glass. “do you regret it?” you hesitate before answering.
the tv plays quietly in the background, a dramatic scene from the pitt, but neither of you are paying attention anymore. your fingers trace mindless patterns along the side of your cup, your water long forgotten.
“i don’t know,” you admit finally, your voice quieter than before. “like, in the moment? no. not at all.” you shake your head slightly, like you’re trying to make sense of it yourself. “but now? everything’s just so weird. i don’t even know how to look at him anymore.”
katherine hums, tilting her head. “well, yeah. i mean, you slept with your best friend.” you groan, dropping your head back against the couch. “please, don’t say it like that.” you plead. “how am i supposed to say it?” she laughs lightly. “you guys have been attached at the hip for years and then just, boom.”
“okay, shut up,” you say to her, but there’s no real bite to it. it seems like she actually did stop talking, but you lift your head to look at her, she looks like she’s thinking hard about it, then without avail, “what if you’re pregnant?” your face drops almost immediately.
“katherine.” you say so sternly, with a blank face. she blinks, then slowly starts to grin. “i’m just saying-”
“no,” you cut her off immediately, a nervous laugh slipping out. “no, that’s so not funny.” but she doesn’t drop it. “okay, but think about it,” she continues, sitting up straighter now, eyes narrowing slightly as she looks at you. “you’ve been saying you feel weird for like, what a week now?” your stomach twists in a way that makes you feel like you can instantly vomit.
“that doesn’t mean anything,” you say quickly. “but doesn’t it?” she presses. “did you miss your-” your lips form a tight line, as you go quiet. fuck, you thought. “…oh my god,” she breathes. “no way,” you shake your head, but it’s weaker sounding this time. “no, i’ve just been stressed-”
“y/n.” your chest tighetns, knowing there is some type of validity to what she’s saying, but you're trying to think of every single possible outcome for it not to be true. but now that she’s said it, you can’t unthink it. all the times you’ve felt the exhaustion. the random waves of nausea you brushed off. the way your body hasn’t felt like yours lately. the dates you didn’t bother keeping track of because you were too busy avoiding everything else. “oh my god,” you whisper, the words barely leaving your lips.
“okay,” katherine says immediately, already standing and grabbing her keys. “we’re going to the store. right now.” the drive feels like it lasts five minutes and five hours at the same time.
you barely remember walking through the aisles, grabbing not one, but three tests, just in case you thought, because there’s no way one is enough for something like this. your hands are shaking by the time you get back to her apartment, your thoughts loud and messy and spiraling in every direction you don’t want them to go.
“hey,” katherine says softly, placing a hand on your arm before you disappear into the bathroom, already knowing the thoughts flying through your head. “we don’t know anything yet. okay?” you nod, appreciative of her comforting you at a time like this, but at this point you think nothing can help.
the next few minutes feel like pure torture. sitting on the edge of the tub, staring at nothing, your heart pounding so hard it feels like it might burst out of your chest. katherine’s pacing just outside the door, giving you space but staying close enough that you’re not alone.
and then the timer on your phone finally goes off, and you feel your mouth dry, and eyes wide. you slowly reach for the first one, and check. then you check the second, and then the third. and tears start to well up, “kat..” you call out, your voice breaking slightly. she’s in the doorway instantly. “what? what happened?” you try to speak but can’t, handing her the sticks.
her face falls instantly, three tests and they all came out positive. the room feels like it’s closing in on you. your hands start to shake, as your vision blurs before you even realize you’re crying. it hits you all at once, the weight of it, the reality of it, the fact that this isn’t just some abstract fear anymore. “i can’t-” your voice cracks, and you shake your head, tears spilling over faster now. “i can’t do this, kat. i’m only twenty five bro, i’m not old enough, this wasn’t-”
she’s beside you immediately, pulling you into her arms as you break down. “i’m not even with him,” you sob out. “we’re not together, we’re not anything, this was a mistake, it was one night-” your chest heaves as the words tumble out, panic setting in deeper with every second. “and it’s rafe,” you whisper, like saying his name makes it more real. “out of everyone, it had to be him-”
it’s not rafe the person that makes you doubt this, its more so the baggage that he brings with him. you know him through and through, know his anger issues, how any small thing ticks him off to oblivion. you know how impulsive, and deranged he could be sometimes, how he’ll drink himself to death, with you having to be the one he drunk calls to pick him up, and it doesn’t stop you from being his friends, because you’ve always be in his corner, but raising a child? that’s a whole different ball park.
katherine holds you tighter, her hand rubbing soothing circles on your back as you cry into her shoulder. “we’ll figure it out,” she says softly against your hair. “okay? you’re not alone in this.”
but all you can think about is rafe, and how everything just changed in a way neither one of you can take back.
-
the knock throws you off completely. you hadn’t really been expecting to see anyone these past two days. you’ve barely moved from the couch, the same blanket wrapped around you, with your phone face down on the table because you can’t even bring yourself to look at it.
another knock, makes you frown slightly, pushing yourself up, your body heavy as you make your way to the door. when you peek through the peephole, your stomach drops. “shit,” you mutter under your breath.
rafe. just the person you couldn’t bring yourself to speak to. you hesitate for a second, your hand hovering over the handle, debating if you should even open it. but he knocks again, a little more urgent this time, and you know he’s not leaving. so you opened the door. “what are you-”
“i’m so fuckin’ sorry.” he cuts you off immediately, the words tumbling out of him fast and messy, like he’s been thinking about it for weeks. “i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have- i didn’t mean to, i mean i did, but not like that, not if it was gonna-” he exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair, pacing once like he doesn’t even know where to stand. “i don’t wanna mess this up with you, alright? i don’t wanna ruin us. we can just-” he gestures vaguely between you, almost desperate, “we can just forget about that night. pretend it didn’t happen.”
your lips form a tight line. “i don’t think-” you try to speak, but rafe continues, “because i’d rather have you like this than not at all, i swear,” he keeps going, not even noticing how quiet you’ve gotten. “we don’t have to make it weird, we don’t have to-”
“we can’t rafe.” you say louder, trying to take him out of this rambling state he’s got himself in, and he finally stops. “what?” he asks, brows pulling together like he didn’t hear you right. you swallow, your throat dry. “we can’t,” you repeat, quieter this time. he lets out a short breath, shaking his head slightly, already dismissing it. “yeah, we can. it’s not that big of a-”
“i’m pregnant.”
that hits him so much he freezes. he just stands there, completely still. his mouth parts slightly, like he’s about to say something, but nothing comes out. then it closes, and opens again.
“what?” you don’t answer right away. you just step back, leaving the door open as you walk back into your apartment. you sink back onto the couch like your body can’t hold you up anymore.
he subconsciously follows you in, shutting the door behind him, still processing. “what?.” he repeats, quieter this time, like maybe the word will make more sense the second time around. “i’m pregnant,” you say again, staring straight ahead. “i um, i took three tests. they were all positive.”
he runs a hand over his face, then the back of his neck, pacing once like his brain is trying to catch up to what you just said. “okay..” he mutters under his breath. “okay, shit, wait, okay.” the shock doesn’t fully leave his face, but you never thought you’d see him react in that way. like a sort of smile?
“you’re pregnant,” he repeats, this time like he’s trying to convince himself. you’re pregnant, with his kid, your kid, y’alls kid. you watch it click in him, and before he can even think to try and hide it, there’s a flicker of excitement in his expression. a breath leaves him, shaky but not in the way you feel. “holy shit..” he says.
and you feel even worse, because this? isn’t how you’re feeling in the slightest. rafe finally looks up at you, and everything in him, the prior excitement, the smile, the realization drops, instantly. because you look nothing like he does. your eyes are puffy, and red from crying. your face drained, like you haven’t slept. you look small on that couch, wrapped up in yourself like you’re trying to disappear from it all. like this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you.
“hey,” he says, softer now,, like he’s stepping into something fragile. “hey-” you shake your head slightly, tears already building again. “i can’t do this, rafe,” you whisper.
and just like that, whatever excitement started to bloom in him gets replaced, because now he gets it. this isn’t the same for you. rafe moves closer to comfort you, engulfing you in his chest. even when you quiet down, and the room isn’t filled with your crying anymore, his thumb keeps brushing over your knuckles. “i’m gonna fix my shit.” he says after a moment of silence. you blink, caught off guard. “what?”
“my shit,” he repeats, sitting back a little but still holding onto you. “the drinking, the whatever the hell you’ve seen me do that made you think i couldn’t handle this? i’m done with it.” you stare at him, trying to read if this is just rafe talking or if he actually means it, and he notices that. “i’m serious,” he says, sharper this time. “i’m not bringin’ a kid into that. i’m not-” he cuts himself off, exhaling. “i’m not gonna be that guy.”
“that doesn’t happen overnight,” you say quietly, like you don’t even know what to do with that. “i know but, you don’t have to worry about anything,” he continues, leaning forward a little. “money, a place, whatever it is, you don’t have to stress about that. i got you. i’ve always had you.” your brows pull together slightly. “that’s a lot to just say, you know.”
“i know it is,” he nods. “i’m still sayin’ it.” but his next sentence surprises you, like it’s the most obvious solution in the world, “move in with me.” your head tilts back a little. “you’re actually insane.”
“i’m not insane,” he scoffs lightly. “i’m thinkin’ ahead.”
“rafe, that’s- no, that’s a huge step,” you shake your head, overwhelmed again. “we’re not even-”
“i know what we are,” he cuts in, a little firmer. “and i know what we’re not. but we got a kid on the way now, y/n. i’m not gonna have you sittin’ here alone, stressin’ yourself out in this apartment while i’m somewhere else, i wanna be near my kid, so that’s not how this is gonna go.” you swallow, your emotions creeping back up again. “you’re just saying that because you feel like you have to.”
his expression hardens slightly, like he’s irritated you’d even think that, especially about him, knowing him how you do. “no, i’m not.”
“yes, you are,” you push, your voice wavering. “you feel responsible, and now you’re trying to fix everything at once-”
“i am responsible,” he snaps, half angry, but halfly trying to take accountability. “that’s the point. but don’t sit there and act like this is some obligation to me. like i’m just, steppin’ up because i have no other choice.”
you go quiet, because there’s this sense of honesty in his voice that doesn’t sound forced or fake. “then why?” you ask, softer now. “why are you acting like this?” he lets out a bitter laugh, dragging his hand over his face before looking back at you, something frustrated and vulnerable sitting right under the surface. “you really don’t see it, do you?”
your brows knit. “see what?” he lets out a disbelieving sigh. “jesus, you’re killin’ me right now.” he says. “rafe, what are you-”
“i’m in love with you.”
it comes out blunt, in a way he never though he’d admit it, especially not today, and especially not after finding out he was gonna be a father. you freeze completely, as he shakes his head slightly, like he’s almost annoyed it even got to this point. “i’ve been in love with you,” he continues, “for years. and you’re sittin’ here actin’ like this is just some random shit to me, like i don’t care who it is, like i’d be doin’ this for just anyone.” your lips part, but nothing comes out.
“everyone else saw it,” he goes on, running a hand through his hair. “kelce wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it, topper used to give me shit every time you walked into a room-” he lets out a breath, shaking his head. “you’re the only one who didn’t notice.”
“i don’t even know if you’re being serious” you whisper, your heart racing now for a completely different reason. “i’m very fuckin’ serious,” he says, his eyes locked on yours. “this isn’t just about the baby for me. it’s you too. it’s always been you.”
your chest rises and falls slowly as you try to process it. because now that he’s saying it, you can see it. all of it, from the longing gazes, to the way he always got softer with you, how close he used to stay near you whenever you were together. how annoyed he’d get when anyone would try and flirt with you, always saying “he’s a piece of shit, pick a better one” not knowing the ‘better one’ was always him. “i thought you were just,” you trail off, letting out a small, shaky breath. “being you.”
“yeah,” he huffs lightly. “well, that’s the problem. i was being me, but not like that. not with you.” you look down for a second at your hands you didn’t realize were intertwined this whole time, your fingers tightening slightly around his.
“i didn’t let myself think about it,” you admit quietly. he stills. “really?” you shake your head a little, like you’re trying to find the right words. “because if i did, it would’ve changed everything. and i didn’t wanna lose what we had.” he softens, “so you just ignored it?” he asks. you nod faintly. “yeah.”
“there were moments,” you admit, your voice quieter now. “where it didn’t feel like just friendship. where it felt like more.” you swallow, your eyes flicking back up to his. “i just never let myself think twice of it.” rafe stares at you like that just knocked the air out of him.
“you’re serious?” he asks, softer now. you nod slightly. “i didn’t know what to do with it.” a breath leaves him, almost like relief mixed with disbelief. “jesus fuck” he mutters under his breath, a small, almost incredulous smile pulling at his lips. “all this time” you let out a weak, emotional laugh, shaking your head. “yeah.”
rafe’s hand tightens around yours again, his expression grounding back into something more serious. “then let me do this right,” he says, his voice steady now. “let me be there for you. for real. not just halfway, or how we used to but, actually there. i want to be your problem solver”
you look at him, your eyes still a little glassy, “i really don’t wanna screw this up,” he adds, quieter. “i don’t wanna be like my dad. i don’t want our kid growin’ up in some messed up broken home where shit’s always unstable.”
“i don’t want that either, you admit. “so don’t run from me, please,” he says, in pleading honesty. “don’t shut me out like you been doin’.” he finishes. “i was just scared,” you say. “i know,” he nods. “but you don’t gotta be scared of me.” your eyes search his face. “this is a lot, rafe.”
“i know it is,” he says again. “we’ll take it slow if that’s what you need. but you’re not doin’ this alone, alright? i’m right here.” your fingers squeeze his a little tighter. “you’re not leaving if things get hard,” you ask, vulnerable.
rafe hates that he can't be with you when you need him the most.
it’s been months since the last time you saw rafe, and it was slowly eating at you. these two weeks he was home didn’t even feel like enough. they never did honestly, but this time it was worse, because it felt like time was moving faster than it should’ve.
in a way that made everything else feel temporary. like waking up next to him every morning, his arm heavy over your waist, his face buried into your neck like he hadn’t seen you in years, even though it had only been months, felt too natural.
“you’re not gettin’ up yet,” he muttered one morning, his voice still thick with sleep as you tried to slide out from under him. you laughed softly, prying at his arm. “rafe, i have to”
“no,” he cut you off, tightening his hold, dragging you back against him. “five more minutes.”
“you said that twenty minutes ago.” you answered with a giggle. “yeah,” he lightly shrugged, pressing a lazy kiss to your shoulder. “and i meant it then too.” you rolled your eyes, but you didn’t fight him again, but you never really did anyway.
and it was like that the whole time he was home, just so easy to be around and comfortable, like he never leaves you for months on end. he’d follow you around the house like he had nothing better to do, leaning in doorways just watching you, or coming up behind you just to wrap his arms around your waist.
“you’re starin’,” you teased once, turning your head to catch him already looking. he didn’t even deny it, just shrugged slightly, stepping closer. “yeah. so?”
“so it’s weird.”
“no it’s not,” he muttered, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. “it’s my house. my wife. i’ll look if i want.” your cheeks warmed, even after all this time.
“you’re so annoying.”
“yeah?” he smirked a little. “you love it.” and you didn’t rebuttal, because of course you did.
and at night it was like all that tension between you both finally snapped, and neither of you could get enough of each other. his hands were all over you, like he was drunk, reminding himself that you’re his, you’re there and real, and actually under him, with him.
“missed this,” he’d breathe against your skin, movements so slow like he’s savoring the moment. “yeah?” you whispered back, fingers tangled in his hair. “don’t play with me,” he muttered, gripping your thigh tighter. “you know i did.” he growled.
so when he left again, it felt wrong, and so much worse than usual, and you didn’t know why. it was like your body was holding the trauma, and it’s not catching up to the fact that it’s just you, alone, in a house that should be filled with rafe and your laughs, voices, moans, cries, everything.
you tried to fall back into your routine, but something about it felt off from the start.
you were exhausted, but you blamed it on the emotional crash after he left. “you look like shit,” sarah said bluntly one afternoon, watching you push your food around your plate. you shot her a sarcastic smile. “thanks.”
“i’m serious,” she leaned forward slightly. “you okay?”
“i’m fine,” you sighed, even though your stomach twisted again. “just haven’t been sleeping great.” she narrowed her eyes a little but didn’t push. “are you gonna tell rafe?” she asked, but you shrugged, shaking your head, “there’s nothing to tell.”
but it wasn’t nothing, and you knew that. you knew the second your randomly started feeling nauseous doing the smallest of tasks. or when you abnormally had to pee so many times within the same day.
you decided to call rafe that same night, he picked up on the second ring. “hey-” he stopped, scanning your face. “what’s wrong?” he asked almost immediately. you swallowed. “i need you to just listen, okay?”
his face dropped, the small smirk completely gone, and only a furrow of his brows replacing it. he stood up, walking away from the other marines, into his office. he spoke only once the door shut, but you could hear the worry in his tone “okay baby, i’m listening.” your grip tightened on your phone. “i’m pregnant.” you blurted out, with no other information.
you both sat in silence for a few “…what?” he finally said. “i was feeling so nauseous, and spotting,” you said, staring at the wall. “then i took a test and it was positive.” you heard movement on his end, like he stood up, and started pacing.
“fuck…okay,” he muttered, more to himself than to you. “when did you find out?”
“this morning.” then came another moment of silence. but it seemed like his anger was rising, “you went alone?” your brows pulled together. “yeah, rafe, i didn’t exactly have time to-”
“you shouldn’t be doin’ that shit alone,” he cut in, frustration bleeding through now.
“rafe..” you said softly, now understanding where his anger is coming from. “i’m serious,” he ran a hand through his hair, exhaling hard. “that’s not- fuck, this isn’t how this was supposed to go.” yep, there it was. you closed your eyes. “i didn’t plan it like this.”
“i know you didn’t,” he shot back quickly. then softened his tone, once he realized, “i know, i know that.”
but he was still pacing, and you could here it. “i should be there,” he muttered. “i should be the one takin’ you, sittin’ there with you, hearin’ all this shit firsthand instead of-” he cut himself off, his jaw tightening. “instead of this.”
“no baby,” you started. “it’s okay.”
“no, it’s not,” he said immediately.
and after that? things completely changed, in a good way. he went from calling you and texting when he can, to constantly texting and calling. making sure you’re okay, asking about your symptoms, if you’re eating, just constantly checking up on you.
“you eat today?” he asked one night.
“yeah.”
“what’d you have?” you smiled faintly. “why do you need a full report sergeant?”
“because,” he replied with a light chuckle. “you know i’m not there, so i gotta make sure.” you shook your head a little, but answered anyway. “i ate rice with chicken and veggies. and yes i took my prenatals, relax.”
he huffed quietly on the other end, but you could hear the faint smile in it. “i’m not relaxin’. you’re carryin’ my kid, i get to be on your ass about it.” you rolled your eyes, shifting to a more comfortable position on the couch, phone pressed between your cheek and shoulder. “you’re already on my ass about everything.”
“yeah?” he shot back. “good. means i’m doin’ my job.”
a small laugh left your mouth , but it softened quickly, your fingers resting over your stomach as the feeling crept back in. “…i miss you.” it came out quieter than you meant it to, and for a second, there was nothing on the other end. then his voice dropped,. “i know baby. i miss you too.” he said, in such a sad tone. you swallowed, staring down at your hand.
“it’s just weird, you know? doin’ all this without you here.” you said. he was quiet again, like he was choosing his words carefully this time. “you’re not doin’ it without me,” he said finally, firm but gentle. “i’m right here.” you let out a small breath. “yeah, but through a phone.”
“don’t start that,” he muttered, a little mean sounding, but it wasn’t at you, it was at the distance, at everything he couldn’t control. then softer, “i’m there as much as i can be right now.” you nodded faintly. “i know.” there was a pause before he spoke again, “when’s your next appointment?”
“next tuesday.”
“aight,” he said immediately. “you call me before you go in. i don’t care what i’m doin’, i’ll step out.” you shook your head slightly, even though he couldn’t see you. “no rafe, you don’t have to-”
“i said i will,” he cut in, not harshly, just sternly. “i’m not missin’ that.” your chest warmed at that, your grip tightening on your phone. “okay, fine sarge.” you joked.
“you gonna let me hear it?” a smile krept up on your face. “hear what?”
“it’s heartbeat,” he clarified in a duh tone. “if they do that.” you smiled a little, even though he couldn’t see it. “of course i will.” he exhaled, like that alone made this all better a little. “thank you” he murmured.
-
you don’t even realize you’re spiraling until the words are already spilling out of you with your emotions finally catching up all at once. “i don’t know how to do this,” you say again, but this time it sounds broken, with your hands gripping the fabric of your hoodie like it might hold you together. “like, how the fuck am i supposed to be pregnant right now without him here?” your voice cracks harder, as you shake your head. “it’s not supposed to be like this, sarah. he’s supposed to be here for this stuff. for all of it.”
sarah stays quiet, just watching you, letting you get it out, her hand rubbing slow circles onto your arm. “i fucking hate it,” you breathe, “i hate the military. i hate that it just decides for us. like it gets to choose when i see my own husband.” you let out a weak, frustrated laugh, but it breaks halfway through. “he’s the one person i need right now, and i can’t even have him here. not really.” your eyes burn, tears finally slipping down as you look at her. “and i know he’d be here if he could, i know that, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.”
sarah pulls you into her, letting you fall apart against her shoulder without saying too much. “you’re allowed to feel like this,” she murmurs softly. “none of this is fair.” her hand smooths over your hair gently. “you love him. of course this hurts.”
and you nod, because that’s all it really comes down to. you love him so much it physically aches when he’s not there, and right now, it feels so indescribably unbearable.
-
hours later, after you’ve cried yourself out and fallen asleep, sarah sits on the edge of her bed, phone in her hand, staring at his name longer than she should. she knows he’s trying, she knows how much he cares, but she also knows you. she knows you’re hurting more than you’re letting him see.
when she finally calls, she keeps it simple. “she’s not okay, rafe.” there’s a pause on the other end, and she can practically feel him go still through the silence. “she misses you,” sarah adds, quieter now. “a lot. she’s trying not to put it on you, but it’s getting to her.”
he doesn’t say much, just a low, “fuck,” before the call ends, but it’s enough. she knows him well enough to know that silence isn’t nothing.
on the other end, rafe stands in his office for a second after the call drops, phone still in his hand. it’s not new information, none of it is. he knows you miss him. he knows this is hard on you.
but hearing it like that, hearing that you’re not okay fucks with his mind, because now he’s picturing it. you crying, saying you hate the situation you’re in, saying you need him, and of course he’s not there.
his grip tightens around his phone before he tosses it onto his desk, dragging both hands down his face as he paces the room. his thoughts are louder than anything else, just overlapping and clouding his judgement.
every moment he’s missed. every appointment he hasn’t been to. the fact that you’re carrying his kid and he’s not even there to see it happen.
what the fuck am i even doing here? he thought, because for the first time, it’s not just frustration, it’s doubt. he exhales sharply, shaking his head like he can force it away, but it doesn’t go anywhere. if anything, it gets worse.
before he can stop himself, he’s grabbing his keys, stepping out, heading straight for the one person he knows will actually let him say it out loud.
topper barely gets a greeting before rafe’s already inside his space, pacing again, same restless energy, same tight chest. “i don’t know why i’m even here,” he mutters, more to himself than anything, but it comes out sharp. he runs a hand through his hair, frustrated, breath uneven. “fuck, i should’ve left after i fucking married her.”
topper watches him carefully, not interrupting right away, letting him get it out. and rafe does,he keeps going, because once it starts, he can’t really stop it.
“i’m missin’ everything,” he adds, quieter now but somehow worse. “all of it. and she’s back there dealin’ with it by herself because of me.” his eyes bug out, out of anger, his emotions turning inward this time. “i did that. i signed up for this shit.”
there’s a pause before topper finally speaks, “ have you told her that?” rafe lets out a short, humorless breath, shaking his head immediately. “fuck no.” he glances away, “she doesn’t need that on top of everything else. she’s already stressed, i’m not gonna sit there and make it worse.”
he leans back against the desk, arms crossing tightly over his chest, like he’s holding himself together. “if she’s upset,” he adds “it’s not gonna be because of me. not ever.” and he means that, even if it’s killing him a little in the process.
-
“cameron.” his captain called him, knocking him out of his thoughts. rafe looked up, and he straightened up. “sir.” he responded, his superior studied him for a second. “what’s goin’ on with you lately?”
“nothin’, sir.” he answered. “ah don’t give me that shit gunny,” his captain said flatly. “you’ve been off.”
rafe’s shoulders tensed, he hated how he was letting his anger and frustration get into his work, he tried to not let it, but he knew it was only a matter of time before it would. “my wife’s pregnant sir,” he said finally. his superior nodded slightly. “that’ll do it.”
rafe let out a breath, dragging a hand down his face. “and i’m not there for any of it.”
“that bothering you?” his captain asked, and he let out a quiet, humorless laugh. “killing me sir.” rafe swallowed hard, jaw tightening as he stood there, shoulders squared out of habit more than anything. “with all due respect, sir,” he started, voice strained, “i need to be there for the birth of my first kid.” his hand flexed at his side, like he was trying to keep it together. “i can’t have her go through that alone, i can’t.”
his captain watched him for a second longer, the silence stretching just enough to make rafe’s chest feel tight. then he sighed, understanding him. “you submit your parental leave paperwork,” he said finally, “i’ll push it through early.” rafe blinked, like he didn’t process it at first. “don’t make me regret it, gunny.”
something in rafe cracked just a little at that, the rigid edge in him softening in a way no one on base ever really saw. “yes, sir,” he nodded quickly “thank you, sir, seriously.” his captain just gave a short nod before walking off, leaving rafe standing there, exhaling a breath he didn’t even realize he’d been holding.
the second he was alone, he was already pulling his phone out, hands moving faster than his thoughts. it rang once, and then you picked up, your soft “hi babe,” hitting him right in the chest, he couldn’t help but smile. he let out a quiet breath, almost a laugh, like relief was finally settling in. “hey,” he said, voice low but lighter than it had been in weeks, “you busy right now, or can i tell you somethin’?”
you shifted slightly on the couch, tucking your legs under you, already smiling at the sound of his voice. “for you? im never busy,” you said softly, playing with the hem of your shirt. “what is it?” there was a small pause on his end, like he was trying not to rush it, but you could hear it in his breathing, something had changed, in a good way.
“i talked to my captain,” he started, showing more excitement than ever. “i told him i’m not missin’ this. not the birth, not you goin’ through it, none of it.” your brows pulled together slightly, heart pumping up before he even finished.
“he’s gonna push my leave through early,” rafe said, and this time he couldn’t hold back the small break in his voice. “i’m comin’ home, baby. for a good while.”
for a second, you didn’t even respond, just blinked your mouth dropped open, like your brain needed a moment to catch up. “no fucking way” you breathed out, your hand instantly pressing against your stomach, like you needed to feel them to reconnect with reality for second. “are you serious?”
“yeah,” he let out a quiet, almost disbelieving laugh. “yeah, i am. i wasn’t gonna let you do that shit alone, i meant that.” his tone softened immediately after, gentler, more like him with you. “i’ll be there. every appointment i can make, and when it’s time? i’m right there with you, alright?”
your eyes stung a little, smile breaking through as you nodded even though he couldn’t see it. “okay,” you whispered. “i’m so relieved rafe.” your voice cracked.
rafe exhaled on the other end, like hearing that from you healed something deep in him,. “you have no idea how bad I needed to tell you that,” he admitted quietly. then, almost like he was smiling to himself, “start makin’ a list or somethin’, and all that stuff you said i was missin’? i’m makin’ up for it when i get there.”
and he meant it in every sense of the word. every night after that call, before he hung up, he made you tell him something new, something you needed, or something you wished he was there for. “what else?” he’d ask, like he was already half picturing it.
and you’d start small at first, joking even, until it turned into real things. a crib you liked. the color you couldn’t decide on for the nursery. how nervous you were for your next appointment. and he took all of it in, like it mattered just as much as being there.
somewhere along the way, the distance didn’t feel as bad. you still missed him, god, you missed him, but it wasn’t that hollow, aching quiet anymore. he filled the place in different ways now, through late night calls that stretched too long, through the way he stayed on the phone while you fell asleep, just listening to your breathing. “go to bed,” he’d mutter softly when you started drifting, even though he never really even hung up first.
and it didn’t feel like you were just waiting for him to come back. it felt like everything was finally falling into place.
nerd!dad!rafe who still wakes up some mornings, looks at you, with your ring on your finger, luca down the hall, and has that quiet, disbelieving thought of ‘how did i get this lucky?’ or ‘we made him, we made this whole life’ like even now, he hasn’t fully processed that this is his life, but he’s sure as hell not complaining.
nerd!dad!rafe who is way more physically affectionate than he used to be, always finding some way to be touching you. his hand resting on your lower back when he walks past, fingers brushing yours in the kitchen, or pulling you into him absentmindedly like it’s instinct now.
nerd!dad!rafe who still gets a little nervous around you sometimes, like when you look especially pretty or laugh at something he says, he’ll smile, but there’s this slight flush to his face like you still have that same effect on him. and he’ll get a little shy when you flirt back, like you’ll tease him and he’ll look away for a second, adjusting his glasses, but there’s this a satisfaction in the way he smiles.
nerd!dad!rafe who sees himself in your son luca so clearly it almost throws him off sometimes. the same eyes, the same focus, even the tiny glasses perched on his nose. and it makes him emotional without even realizing it.
nerd!dad!rafe who spends hours on the floor building legos with luca, fully invested like it’s a real engineering project, explaining things in the simplest way possible, “okay, if we add more weight here, it might collapse, so we need better support” and luca is just staring at him like he hung the moon.
nerd!dad!rafe who absolutely cannot help himself and starts teaching luca the world. he’ll talk about, little concepts way too early. like gravity and matter, catching himself halfway through like “you might be slightly too young for this, but we’ll revisit it later.” just because he likes talking to him like he will understand one day.
nerd!dad!rafe who loves picking luca up from school more than anything, showing up a few minutes early every time, standing off to the side with that soft smile, posture relaxed in a way it never used to be
nerd!dad!rafe who works in psychology now, studying the brain and human behavior, and it bleeds so much into how he loves you. always trying to understand and analyzing. which causes him to sometimes overthink your emotions. because he tries to solve them instead of just sitting with you. “okay, so if we break this down, the root cause might be-” and you have to gently remind him you don’t need a solution, just him
nerd!dad!rafe who has a picture of you and luca on his desk, so when his coworkers ask, “is that your family?” he always corrects them with, “no, they’re my world.”
nerd!dad!rafe who adjusts instantly when you tell him that, nodding, a little sheepish, pulling you closer instead. “right. i’m sorry. okay. i can do that.” and just holds you, learning as he goes.
nerd!dad!rafe who still takes care of you in those quiet, thoughtful ways, bringing you water, making sure you’ve eaten, fixing little things around the house before you even notice they needed fixing.
nerd!dad!rafe who loves you in a way that’s steady, intentional, and deeply rooted, maybe not always perfect in expression, but so undeniably real that you never have to question it.
nerd!dad!rafe who might not always get emotions perfectly right. but he will always try, every single time, because he’s changed, like he’s fully stepped into loving you out loud, just in his own nerdy, intentional way.
nerd!dad!rafe who the moment luca was born, something in him just clicked. like his entire sense of purpose sharpened overnight, and suddenly all he cared about was making sure you and your baby were okay.
nerd!dad!rafe who wakes up instantly at night when luca cries, like he’s wired for it now, sitting up at 4am without hesitation, gently lifting him from the crib, whispering soft, sleepy “hey, hey, you’re alright” while rocking him back to sleep so you don’t have to wake up.
nerd!dad!rafe who insists you stay in bed when that happens, quietly telling you, “you need the rest more than i do,” like it’s not even a discussion to him.
nerd!dad!rafe who makes it a routine to wake up early anyway. running on minimal sleep but still in the kitchen making you breakfast, something warm and filling, because in his mind recovery equals nutrition plus rest, and he’s going to make sure you get both, everytime.
nerd!dad!rafe who always makes sure you and luca get the necessary amount of vitamins you need everyday, always looking at the ingredients because “my family will only get the best.” but is so quick to stuff his face in your favorite sweet treats at night after luca is put to bed.
nerd!dad!rafe who loves standing in the bathroom with you while you get ready. with luca on the counter, as he leans against the counter, arms loosely crossed, just talking, rambling about some random scientific concept or historical event he read about. both making you blush with how in awe they are with you.
nerd!dad!rafe who pauses mid sentence sometimes because he gets distracted watching you, like the way you concentrate on your makeup, and the small movements of your hands. and he just smiles a little to himself before continuing like nothing happened.
nerd!dad!rafe who drives an old sleek black 1973 jaguar e type car. because it’s beautifully mathematically engineered. he’ll geek to you over the car, muttering a “careful,” as he circles the front of the car. “the interior heats faster because of the angle of the windshield.”
nerd!dad!rafe who automatically opens your door, adjusts your seat, asks if the temperature’s okay, mutter a “i’m sorry love” because last time he drove luca was in the car and had to adjust everything. and he loves you being his passenger princess, watching you sit comfortably with a small smile, as the wind blows in your hair.
nerd!dad!rafe who loves your body in the quietest ways. like when you’re standing between his legs and he just wraps his arms around your waist, pressing his face gently against your skin, breathing you in like it’s enough to calm him down.
nerd!dad!rafe who doesn’t even realize he’s taught you a whole new kind of intimacy. one that isn’t rushed or intense, or even sexual. until you start leaning into it just as naturally as he does.
nerd!dad!rafe who keeps a mental and probably physical, log of luca’s routines. feeding times, sleep patterns, little behavioral changes, like he’s studying him, but not academically, instead with so much love behind it, because that’s how rafe shows he cares.
nerd!dad!rafe who reads parenting books and research articles in his free time, highlighting sections, occasionally going “this is actually really interesting, listen to this” while you’re half paying attention but smiling anyway.
nerd!dad!rafe who has gotten a little more confident with you, but in a subtle way, like murmuring things under his breath when it’s just the two of you. “you look so breathtaking today,” he says, because it’s his favorite compliment for you. with an occasional “perfect integer”
nerd!dad!rafe who because he speaks so highly of you around luca, when you’re getting ready, luca will say, “you’re so bweaf taking mommy!” randomly, and you look up at rafe, to see him smiling saying “she is, isn’t she?”
nerd!dad!rafe who gets quietly distracted by you more now, especially in basic moments, like watching you move around the kitchen, then stepping behind you, hands settling on your hips. “i think i’ve identified a problem,” he’ll say softly against your shoulder. you glance back, amused. “what problem?” “i’m significantly distracted,” he replies, completely serious
nerd!dad!rafe who kisses you more now, but still randomly. like he’ll lean in mid convo, cut himself off just to press a soft kiss to your lips, then pull back like nothing happened. “uh, sorry, i lost my train of thought,”even though he absolutely knows what he’s doing.
nerd!dad!rafe who always does this thing where he pauses in the doorway when he sees you and luca together. like you’re on the couch reading to him or helping him with something, and he just stands there for a second, quietly smiling because he’s so proud, before walking over.
nerd!dad!rafe who has a habit of narrating small things to luca. “okay, we’re putting on your shoes now, left foot first,” and you catch him doing it and smile because he’s been like that since day one.
nerd!dad!rafe who keeps one of luca’s tiny drawings folded neatly in his briefcase, completely unprompted, and if anyone ever asked he’d just say, “it seemed important to keep it safe.”
nerd!dad!rafe who lets luca sit on the kitchen counter while he cooks, explaining everything he’s doing step by step, occasionally glancing over to make sure you’re watching too, like he’s teaching both of you at the same time.
nerd!dad!rafe who will absentmindedly reach for you while doing things, like pulling you into his side while he’s stirring something, pressing a quick kiss to your temple without interrupting whatever explanation he’s giving luca.
nerd!dad!rafe who takes way too long putting luca to bed sometimes because he gets caught up explaining random things in the middle of the story, turning a simple bedtime into a mini lesson about stars or dreams or how memory works.
nerd!dad!rafe who always checks on luca at least once after he’s asleep, standing in the doorway quietly, like he just needs to confirm everything is okay before he can fully relax.
nerd!dad!rafe who sits with you after long days, not always talking, just sitting close, one hand resting on your leg, thumb moving slowly back and forth like a calming habit he doesn’t even realize he has.
nerd!dad!rafe who notices when you’re overwhelmed before you say anything and will subtly take luca off your hands for a bit, “we’re going to go…run an experiment,” already leading him away so you can breathe.
nerd!dad!rafe who has little inside jokes with luca that don’t fully make sense to anyone else, but you hear them repeat something he said and it makes your chest feel warm every time.
nerd!dad!rafe who who looks at luca at sixteen and still has moments where he can’t believe that’s the same tiny kid he used to rock to sleep. now taller, with his eyes but your features, his childhood blond fading into your hair color. and he’s amazed at what your genetics made.
nerd!dad!rafe who bonds with luca over dirt biking in the most him way possible. standing off to the side with a notebook or his phone, quietly calculating angles, speed and timing. “hey bud, if you hit that turn a little earlier, by about 0.3 seconds you’ll have better control on the landing,” he says, completely serious. and luca will always listen.
nerd!dad!rafe who shows up to every single competition, always early. but you can tell he’s nervous in the way his arms cross tighter, or how his eyes track luca’s every move.
nerd!dad!rafe who doesn’t cheer loudly like other parents or like you, but the second luca finishes a run or race, there’s this look on his face of quiet pride. like ‘yes! that’s my kid!’
nerd!dad!rafe who doesn’t raise his voice easily, but when he does, it’s rare enough that it means something, so deep and sturn. and luca straightens a little every time, because he knows his dad doesn’t do that lightly
nerd!dad!rafe who struggles when luca shuts him out, giving rafe short answers, or closed off energy, because connection is how he shows love. but insead of pushing he adjusts, because he know luca is like you when he’s upset, saying, “i’ll be in the living room if you want to talk,” leaving the door open instead of forcing it.
nerd!dad!rafe who genuinely lights up, when luca starts talking about something he’s passionate about, even if it’s completely different from his own interests. he’ll listen fully, nodding, asking questions like it matters, because to him, it does.
nerd!dad!rafe who sometimes exhales hard at the end of long days, pulling you into him. “this is more complex than i anticipated,” he admits, and when you laugh a little, he smiles too, because even if it’s complicated, he wouldn’t trade being luca’s dad for anything.
you go shoe shopping with aurora and rafe, and aurora loves you so much she offers to pay for your shoes.
the store has soft music playing in the background as you walk between the aisles, a pair of heels in your hand while rafe trails behind you with aurora perched on his hip.
“put me down daddy!” she insists, wiggling until he finally gives in, setting her on her feet. “alright, ro,” he mutters, keeping a hand hovering near her like he already knows she’s about to wander.
you turn slightly, holding up the shoe in your hand with a small smile. “should mommy get this one?”
aurora looks at it very seriously, like it's the most important decision of her life, before nodding hard. “yea!” you bite back a laugh, crouching down to her level. “yeah?”
“yea!” she repeats, more confident this time. you tilt your head, playing along. “but mommy doesn’t have money…” you say, lowering your voice like it’s a secret. her little face lights up instantly, "i have money mommy!"
“you have money my love?” you ask her shocked. “mhm!” she nods, already reaching for her little sparkly pink purse, the one you bought together, that she now refuses to leave the house without.
rafe lets out a quiet breath through his nose behind you, already knowing where this is going.
aurora struggles with the zipper for a second, tongue poking out in concentration, before she finally gets it open and proudly pulls out a slightly crumpled dollar bill. “here!” she says, holding it out to you like it’s the most important thing in the world.
you pause for a second, then your head tips back as laughter spills out of you, completely caught off guard. “oh my god, baby,” you laugh, taking the dollar gently from her tiny hand.
next to you, rafe lets out a deep, amused laugh, shaking his head as he watches the whole thing unfold.
“she’s serious too,” he mutters, running a hand over his mouth, trying not to smile too hard.
you look between the dollar and aurora, still grinning. “that’s perfect, baby,” you say warmly. “you pay one dollar” you start, standing up, turning slightly as you hold the bill out toward rafe.
“and daddy pays the rest.” he snorts softly under his breath, taking the dollar from you between two fingers, glancing down at it like it’s a business transaction. “oh yeah?” he says, raising a brow, looking at aurora now. “that how we’re doin’ it?”
“yeas!” she beams, completely proud of herself. he shakes his head, a quiet laugh slipping out as he folds the dollar and tucks it into his pocket knowing he'll sneak it and more money back into her little purse later on. 'just in case' he'll tell you.
“alright,” he says, nodding once like he’s accepted the deal. “i got the rest. ” you watch him for a second, smiling softly, before glancing back down at aurora, who’s already reaching for your hand. "what about me daddy?" she asks also reaching for rafe's hand. "get whatever you want princess" he says with a smile, touching her nose lightly.
“come, mommy,” she says, tugging you toward the little girls section. “i wanna match!” she says in her little voice, her cute face looking up at you, like you're her whole world, "let's match my love" you softly say to her.
rafe follows just behind you both, eyes flicking between you and ro, absolutely in love with spoiling his girls.
“y’know,” he mutters, just loud enough for you to hear as he steps closer, his hand brushing lightly against your lower back, “i think i’m gettin’ scammed here.” but there’s a small smile tugging at his mouth as he looks ahead at aurora.
based off this video i saw on instagram. and immediately thought of rafe.
