#bachelor diet

[thebachelorlife]

"What if that was my job? What if that was how I put food on the table?"

"Yeah, what if that was how you put little microwavable soup cups in the cabinets?"

"Yeah, what if it was that?"

[thebachelorlife]

BachVentions

Flavoring Pot

Problem: A previously used, unwashed pot that has a residual crust. 

Solution: Wash and re-use the pot. 

BachLution: Cook in the unwashed pot, so that the crust softens and melts into your food, adding a fun new flavor!

[thebachelorlife]

Current Food Options

Carrot Cake

Organic American Cheese slice

Ben & Jerry's Peach Cobbler Ice Cream

Enough week-old pancake batter, plus a strawberry, to make almost a pancake, plus a strawberry. 

Frozen banana stuck to ice cubes in ice cube tray

Bachelor decision process:

Peach cobbler ice cream is too obviously not dinner.

Need pancake batter for semi-breakfast tomorrow.

Frozen banana with ice cubes on it needs to be thrown out.

Eat slice of Organic American Cheese for dinner.

Eat half carrot cake for dessert because it is like bread, sort of. 

Eat Peach Cobbler ice cream for second dessert.

[thebachelorlife]

Bachelor Recipes

CHIPOTLE GRANOLA

Ingredients:

1 chunk of granola from a granola pouch

1 bottle chipotle hot sauce

Try granola. Decide granola is not flavorful enough.

Put huge blobs of chipotle hot sauce on it.

Get mad at your housemate taking a picture of chipotle granola. Say something like "This isn't a bachelor thing, I have other groceries."

Don't reflect on how that maybe makes it worse. 

Serve immediately on old paper plate.

[thebachelorlife]

"Four hour nap on my loveseat because there are no sheets on my bed - Check. Smoking a cigarette while reading "The Easy Way To Quit Smoking" - Check. Dinner of week-old leftovers - Check. Now I'm going to take a shower and dry myself with a pillowcase because I left all my towels in Hoboken. This is my life."

-LD, via text message