#bachelor decision process

[thebachelorlife]

Three part post:

Bachelor Rule: If it works, it works. 

If it stops the door, it's a doorstop. 

[thebachelorlife]

Garbage: Where Does it Go? How about when you are very lazy? 

Problem (from what can be determined given the evidence): You have garbage. You are also maybe sitting on the toilet. 

Solution: Put it in the trash can/bucket. 

BachLution: HOLD UP! Maybe there is somewhere else to put it that is closer/weirder??? Yes, there is. 

[thebachelorlife]

When Do You Have To Wash Your Clothes?

Bachelor Rules of Thumb: 

You can't wear the same shirt three days in a row, because that's gross. 

You can wear the same shirt three or more nonconsecutive days in a row. As long as the shirt has a "rest day" in between each wearing, it remains clean. The day on your floor/dresser gives it time to "air out" and "clean itself" (don't think too much about it)

Pants can be worn however long if they don't have visible stains. 

Actually, stains are fine, as long as they're not super noticeable chunky stains. Therefore, black pants stay clean longer than light pants. 

-Rules gleaned from conversation between SSC and MK

Additional contribution: 

If it smells enough that you can smell it when the shirt is about 1 foot in front of your face then you cant wear it anymore - but if you can only smell it when sticking your nose in the armholes then you are probably ok. Per this rule, I have some sweaters that I have never washed. -LD

[thebachelorlife]

PHASE ONE

Me: Why are all of our magazines wavy like they've been waterlogged? 

JG: I read them in the shower. 

CB: Oh thank god. I was worried it was urine. 

Me: Yeah, that's actually a relief. 

PHASE TWO

1) Rip out and tape up individual pages/articles to read while showering. 

2) Tape other, newer articles over the ones you've already read. 

3) Be clean and informed. 

[thebachelorlife]

Current Food Options

Carrot Cake

Organic American Cheese slice

Ben & Jerry's Peach Cobbler Ice Cream

Enough week-old pancake batter, plus a strawberry, to make almost a pancake, plus a strawberry. 

Frozen banana stuck to ice cubes in ice cube tray

Bachelor decision process:

Peach cobbler ice cream is too obviously not dinner.

Need pancake batter for semi-breakfast tomorrow.

Frozen banana with ice cubes on it needs to be thrown out.

Eat slice of Organic American Cheese for dinner.

Eat half carrot cake for dessert because it is like bread, sort of. 

Eat Peach Cobbler ice cream for second dessert.

[thebachelorlife]

DIY iPhone Cover Project

Problem: You've dropped your phone so many times that the screen is shattered and piece of glass are in danger of falling right off the phone and into your eardrum or wherever.

Possible Solutions: Have glass screen replaced. Buy new phone.

BachLution: Wrap phone in sandwich baggie so that a) You always have to talk on speakerphone, b) Speakerphone is incredibly muffled and buzzy, c) You are basically talking into a bag of glass.

[thebachelorlife]

"To avoid getting gnats from fruit pits (I eat about 4 peaches/plums/apples a day), but also to avoid taking out my trash regularly, I put all empty food containers and pits in the freezer until my freezer is full, and then I take out the garbage."

-GS 

[thebachelorlife]

Problem: A friend of mine was staying at a house with guys who found a dead mouse.

Solution: Throw dead mouse out of apartment

Bachlution: Wrap dead mouse in tinfoil, put foil-wrapped mouse inside Wheat Thins box, problem is solved