#bad conspiracy

[shitty-conspiracies-i-invented]

The rings of Saturn are wedding rings. She’s married to Earth

[swifty-101]

Okay so there’s a Cornelia Street in New York, London, and Nashville and my mad ass brain was starting to get all conspiracy ready. And then google maps was like there’s also one in Motherwell, Scotland. And the thought of that being somehow connected to Taylor Swift’s life is TOO funny.

[shitty-conspiracies-i-invented]

We see ads for things we only think about because our brains are being read for data. Intrusive thoughts we experience are a result of them testing that same technology in preparation for direct-to-brain advertisements

[shitty-conspiracies-i-invented]

Jon is short for Jonald

[shitty-conspiracies-i-invented]

Ouija boards are portals to speak to your parallel universe self. It just so happens your parallel self is really bad at spelling

[shitty-conspiracies-i-invented]

Mercutio dreamed of his own death and his Queen Maab speech is a frantic effort to convince himself it wasn’t real

[shitty-conspiracies-i-invented]

Stars are not real. Go take your iron pill.

[shitty-conspiracies-i-invented]

As a we go into the new year I want to remind everyone that

1. This is a satire blog and I am a shitposter

2. Don’t use it for any weird or hateful conspiracy agenda that ACTUALLY exists

3. You’re beautiful and you deserve to have a good new year

Thanks for your time