#badkittymypotpie

[relaxguyooc]

[AIM CONVO] Gregory and Cartman

Summary: Captain Fatbeard challenges Gregory to a Duel of Pirates.

Takes Place On: 12/14/2012.  Part of Miniplot VIII: Space Pirates

[relaxguyooc]

[AIM Convo] Cartman & Kyle

Summary: Cartman messages Kyle about the upcoming prom.

Takes Place: Sunday night, Nov. 19th 2012. Part of Miniplot VII: Prom.

Eric Cartman

Sup Kyle.

Kyle Broflovski

There you are. I was beginning to think you'd jumped on the "nobody gives a fuck about you Kyle, get over yourself" bandwagon....

Eric Cartman

I figured you beat yourself up enough.

Your posts look that way, anyway.

Kyle Broflovski

Thanks. I've had a great time of it, really!

Fuck you.

Eric Cartman

What's with the hostility? I'm genuinely concerned. I know everyone's been pretty depressed since this shit with space started happening, but I thought you'd be interested in blowing that all aside for a night and going to Prom with me.

If it sucks we'll just blow it all and do something WE want to do, whatever the hell that is

have a god damn picnic in a tree.

Kyle Broflovski

I've been trying to get everything that's upsetting me out of my mind for the past week or so, but nothing seems to make it go away. I guess that's mostly because what is upsetting me so much is the fact that Stan isn't Stan anymore and he's probably never coming back to the way he was, and I've finally... /finally/ decided to accept that fact.

Unfortunately once that happened, I guess I started brooding over every other little thing that has me pissed off, like the fact that no one has mentioned anything about any sort of meetings or anything ever since we got turned into kids.

Hell, nobody talked to me PERIOD. I got scared, and depressed. I started to give up on getting home as well as giving up on Stan.

It fucking sucks, and a god damn picnic in a tree sounds amazing.

Eric Cartman

I knew it would.

And I knew ANYTHING I would say to you during this time would be for nothing.

Since reasoning with you when you're SO HELL BENT on something is basically pointless.

Looks like all the prep talks I've given you and all my advice is starting to ring true.

Finally.

Kyle Broflovski

Haha. I guess so....

Umm....Evan already asked me to prom though.

Eric Cartman

And you expect me to believe you'll take his invite over mine.

Kyle Broflovski

Well, he gave me a nifty option.

That we wouldn't technically be "going together," merely just simultaneously in order give the pretense of a date so that we won't get in trouble for not actually having one.

Eric Cartman

Well now you have a date.

You've always had a date.

Since I don't even know if we technically broke up or what the hell happened.

All I know is that we've hooked up several times, enjoyed it, danced around the concept of dating and then never confirmed or denied it.

Typical.

Kyle Broflovski

I do like dancing around things, don't I?

Maybe that's why Evan's option sounded so appealing.

Whereas with you, it would actually mean something.

I can't dance around you.

Eric Cartman

Of course not, but you sound ready for change.

Ready for something real in your life.

Since up till now, it seemed like you built all these expectations

for them all to fall onto your face.

Sounds like Evan's just another one of these escapes

an escape that will MORE THAN LIKELY just turn out to be something that comes back and bites you in the ass.

You've had a lot of those recently.

Kyle Broflovski

You won't be real either though.

Eric Cartman

OH trust me.

I will.

I'm the realist thing you've ever seen.

It seems like I'm the only one who really breaks through to you anyway.

That has to account for SOMETHING, now doesn't it Jewface?

Kyle Broflovski

No, it won't account for anything because once I go back home, everything will change again. You'll be gone.

IF I ever fucking go back home...

Eric Cartman

No, I won't.

Kyle Broflovski

Yeah, you will.

Eric Cartman

When you get back home? I'll be there.

And I'll still feel the same way as I do here.

Protecting it more, more than likely.

But trust me, if you ground yourself in me here? When you go back home all you need to do is explain the situation to me there and I GUARANTEE

I'll be there too.

I don't think you understand how deeply this runs...

I mean, do you NOT remember me rushing you to the health clinic when you died?

Kyle Broflovski

So what, I'm just supposed to drop out of the college I planned to attend with Stan, come back to stupid lame ass South Park, blow your mind with life-altering information and expect us to live happily ever after?

Eric Cartman

No, but you might get some closure out of it at least.

Kyle Broflovski

Dude, we've been through A LOT of shit - here, there, as toddlers and as teenagers, everywhere. And yeah, I remember most of it.

Eric Cartman

Good.

Then there should be no doubt in your mind how REAL our relationship runs.

If you’re AFRAID of it, that's one thing.

but you shouldn't be. You're not a fucking pussy, Kyle.

You've NEVER let your fear dictate your actions.

Eric Cartman

So don't fucking start, Jesus Christ.

Kyle Broflovski

I've never been this scared for my future before...

Eric Cartman

Of course you haven't, because it's never been this UNCLEAR.

But you know what? Its fucking picture perfect clear to me.

But, fucking shit Kyle

it's only picture fucking clear to me when I'm around you.

Kyle Broflovski

I've really missed talking to you.

Eric Cartman

Me too.

Kyle Broflovski

Whether I wanna date you or not, I don't tell you that enough....

Probably with good reason. If I told you too much, it'd go to your fat head.

Eric Cartman

Whether or NOT you want to date me? Well that's a fucking load of crap.

Kyle Broflovski

Haha.

Eric Cartman

Of course you want to date me, but you won't let yourself for some odd reason.

but i'm not buying it, okay?

You can tell me a million times you don't want to date me

but I know you do, but I ALSO know you like THINKING you're not for some ODD reason.

What, you don't want to get hurt?

You don't want to hurt me?

Well Kyle, for someone who detests things that aren't "real"

you SURE as hell don't like "real" yourself.

So stop being a hypocrite and do something REAL for once.

Let's DO this.

Kyle Broflovski

......

Eric Cartman

Kyle, you know how I feel.

You know this isn't some idle proposition.

... god do I have to say it.

You KNOW

You know I love you.

Kyle Broflovski

Hahaha, no, you didn't have to....

But it's nice that you did.

Eric Cartman

You wanted to hear it.

You haven't heard it in a while.

Kyle Broflovski

No, I'd like to hear it.

I only read it just now.

Eric Cartman

I TOLD you I did that one night you came back to life.

Kyle Broflovski

I haven't forgotten about that either.

Haha, Red is trying to tell me you're getting me into some sort of abusive relationship...

Are you bullying me into liking you, Eric?

Eric Cartman

If I was BULLYING you? Then i'd be over at your place like

DEMANDING to see you

Kyle Broflovski

I tried to tell her that...

Eric Cartman

but you clearly miss talking to me

so this isn't non consensual or WHATEVER Red wants to call it.

Kyle Broflovski

I tried to tell her that too....

I know. But I don't want her to worry over it.

Eric Cartman

Don't get her involved. Simple.

Kyle Broflovski

Too late.

I like hearing what she has to say anyway.

I don't want to go into this blinded by my own depression.... She's telling me the side I can't see right now.

Eric Cartman

Desperation?

wtf are you even talking about

Kyle Broflovski

Depression, I said.

I'm not desperate.

I haven't even said yes yet....

Eric Cartman

You don't even need to say yes.

I certainly know you better than some chick you decided to experiment with.

Kyle Broflovski

You certainly have a way with words, dude.

Eric Cartman

Well it's true and you fucking know it!

Kyle Broflovski

Don't pull that shit with me. I HAVEN'T said yes yet, and yes I do need to.

Eric Cartman

ughhh fine, continue to be difficult,

Eric Cartman

but dating aside, do you still want to go to prom with me?

Kyle Broflovski

Asking me to go to prom with you is still technically asking me out on a date.

Unless you mean it like Evan said he meant it.

Eric Cartman

I want to go with you because you mean more to me than anyone else here and I think we'd have the best time because we feel the same way about each other

i put THOUGHT into it.

But if you want to go with someone just "cuz", THEN BY ALL MEANS.

I actually put time and consideration into asking you to prom, fuck me right?

Kyle Broflovski

Are you telling me you were considering asking someone else too then...?

Eric Cartman

Nope.

Only you.

Kyle Broflovski

Then it couldn't have taken THAT much consideration. It was a no-brainer.

Eric Cartman

Consideration as in the TIMING and HOW to approach this

obviously.

Kyle Broflovski

Suuuuuuuure.

Eric Cartman

THINK WHAT YOU WANT

I'm just laying it all out there!

I've always wanted to go to Prom with you. Back in my world we never got a chance.

Kyle Broflovski

Obviously we didn't go in my world either. I fucking hated prom though....

I was pretty certain this one was going to suck ass as well.

Eric Cartman

And then I asked you.

And now you know differently.

Kyle Broflovski

Dude, it hasn't even happened yet. We don't know that it won't still suck.

It's prom

...........but.....I guess I can go with you.

Eric Cartman

Right.

Kyle Broflovski

If you go around telling everyone we're seriously dating I will personally kick your ass.

Eric Cartman

Lol.

Okay.

Trust me Kyle, we'll have a great time.

Kyle Broflovski

.....Okay.

Eric Cartman

Here, I'll even give you one of these <3

As a promise.

That good times will be had.

Kyle Broflovski

So gay, dude.

Eric Cartman

You love that shit.

Kyle Broflovski

I do not.

YOU love that shit....

Eric Cartman

Only because it throws you into a tissy fit.

Such as this one.

Kyle Broflovski

Get the fuck out.

Eric Cartman

Love you too.

[relaxguyooc]

[3rd short] Cartman, Christophe, Gregory, Kyle, Red, Stan, Wendy

Summary: Several of the kids head to the Sizzler's bar to unwind after their insane night.  Drama is had.

Takes Place On: Sunday, September 23rd.  Part of Miniplot VI: Break-In.

Stan Marsh Scene change: The bar is bustling lightly with a few "guards" here and there. Everything is exactly as it was before they left it. Same bar, same music, same smell - and same Mexican appearing bartenders at the front. Stan Marsh *Raven reluctantly pushes inside Sizzler's, not even bothering to see if the rest of the crowd was behind him.* Gregory Langsdale *Wanders in as well, a few steps in front of Christophe - one hand still firmly attached to his wrist.* Red Kerrigan *Walks inside with Wendy, sitting down in a chair and looking towards her wondering if she'll join her* Wendy Testaburger *sits across from Red, looking pretty bummed* I need a shot. I don't care of what. Stan Marsh *ends up slouching in a bar stool, just raising his hand upward toward a bartender, still not bothering to look at the rest of the kids* Kyle Broflovski *Has his phone out sending a text as he enters Sizzler's with the rest of the crowd* Dude, can anybody spot me some cash or open up a tab for me? I have no money at the moment. *sits down next to Red who was closest to him* Christophe DeLorn *detatches from Gregory and goes to steal a bottle of rum from behind the bar* Stan Marsh *Christophe is met by angry Mexican men, swatting at him with towels* Red Kerrigan *takes out some money and hands it to Kyle* Eric Cartman **Shakes head as he enters the bar** I can't believe the first thing you guys think of doing the MOMENT you all get home is to DRINK all this off. Hell! You'll all probably think this is some dream once you wake up from your hangovers tomorrow! **Begrudgingly takes a seat at a table** Gregory Langsdale *Cocks an eyebrow at him* Do you honestly blame us? Christophe DeLorn *punches the guy in the face and grabs the bottle* Red Kerrigan *once she gets her alcohol, she sits back down and chugs the glass in one go, then sets it down and stares off towards a wall* Kyle Broflovski *smiles winningly at Cartman* Stan Marsh *gestures weakly to Gregory, still not bothering on looking at anyone else. As soon as he gets a mug of straight up whiskey, he ends up meandoring to their table, slouching into a chair* Eric Cartman **Sees Kyle's smile, and just rolls his eyes, trying to hide his own with the closest drink menu. Stan Marsh *other foriegn looking men come from the kitchen, waving around kitchen appliances and eggs angrily* Eric Cartman **I can't blame you, but I can sure judge you. Wendy Testaburger *she takes her shot, making a face when it goes down* Wendy Testaburger So. Fuck us, I guess. Wendy Testaburger *has become extremely cynical in the last half hour* Red Kerrigan *starts tearing up* Christophe DeLorn *goes back to sit by Gregory, placing himself between him and Raven* Wendy Testaburger *notices Red, and slides her hand across the table to reach hers* Shit. I shouldn't... I shouldn't have said that. Sorry. Red Kerrigan *realizes Wendy is touching her hand, she pulls it away* Just don't touch me Testaburger. Gregory Langsdale *Cocks an eyebrow at Christophe before signing and repositioning himself* So. Thoughts on getting to this 'planet fognl' then? Stan Marsh *pinches nose* We need a spaceship first off. Eric Cartman Its inhabited by Joozians, and they're cold mother fuckers only motivated by greed. **Leans into table, resting on his arms** Stan Marsh What about that happy go lucky guard we just met? Didn't he say he had one? Wendy Testaburger Sorry for fucking caring. *orders another shot* Can we not speak of goddamned spaceships and aliens right now? Gregory Langsdale Take that idiot's. 'He has a 'fixie'. *Spits it out with as much sarcasm as he can muster before stealing Christophe's rum* Kyle Broflovski *places a hand on Red's shoulder* Shit, I definitely need a drink.... Christophe DeLorn *lets Gregory have it, staring silently at the far wall and definitely not in the mood to talk* Red Kerrigan *Doesn't jump at Kyle's hand, but glares at Wendy* Kyle Broflovski *takes the money Red gave him and slides up to the bar to get something that will get him hammered* Stan Marsh *nods again to Gregory, basically his thoughts too* Stan Marsh So we steal what's-his-face's ship. Stan Marsh *ignoring Wendy for the moment* Eric Cartman We could always summon a spaceship. Stan Marsh What, with your ass? Eric Cartman No. With yours. Eric Cartman **rolls eyes** Stan Marsh Nice suggestion. I'm sure you can summon us a nice empty craft with the destination already clocked in. Wendy Testaburger *glares right back at Red and then remembers she's still wearing that princess hair clip Red got her to spite her. She takes it off, and slides it harshly to her on the other side of the table* Stan Marsh All we have to do is stick something up your fuck hole and we're ready to go. Red Kerrigan *stares at the hair clip, for a moment not saying or doing anything before she picks it up and chucks it back to Wendy* Keep it, I don't want your fucking hair clip! Gregory Langsdale By the way, please explain to the less-informed why exactly you have a satellite shoved up your rear. *Hands the bottle back to Christophe* Stan Marsh *gives a vague wave* It's a long story. Stan Marsh Earth, in all our realities anyways, is just a giant TV show broadcast. Stan Marsh *somewhat bitter, but blunt* Wendy Testaburger You fucking bought it! *throws it back* Just stay the hell away from me. I don't understand you. *she gets up and goes to the bar* Stan Marsh *ignores girl drama* Eric Cartman Well THANKS FOR INFORMING EVERYONE HOW IT WORKS! **Leans back into chair** These fuckers **points upwards** gave me some anal probe when I was 8 and it's been up where ever since. **Scoffs at Stan** I CAN EXPLAIN MY OWN BUTT SATELITE, THANK YOU STAN. Eric Cartman **Calms down** And yeah, it's activated by either remote control or... **reddens** Yeah, that other way. Stan Marsh *snorts* Stan Marsh Whatever. That was back when Chef was here too... Red Kerrigan *gets up and walks over to Wendy, pushing on her back hoping to send her forwards into the bar* Stan Marsh *still just completely ignoring girl drama* Eric Cartman That doesn't even fucking matter. What matters is seeing how it can help us, but. **Cupid me** I only show it to special people. Wendy Testaburger *turns around* You. Did not. Just push me. Stan Marsh Let's ask, does that thing come springing out every time someone fucks you up the ass? Christophe DeLorn *mutters* Nope. Stan Marsh Judas if you don't watch out you might really become a girl. Stan Marsh *sort of stops, looking over to Christophe flatly.* Kyle Broflovski *conveniently gets back to the table with a huge mug of straight rum. sits back down next to Cartman. Conveniently.* Gregory Langsdale All right. Wow. God. This would be an utterly fantastic time to not have this conversation. Eric Cartman **TERRIBLY OFFENDED** Fuck that! **gets up from bar** I'm going back home to figure this shit out for myself. Drinking won't solve anything. **gets out phone again, purposely brushing into Kyle on his way out** Stan Marsh *gives a backward not really caring half wave as Cartman leaves* Red Kerrigan I did just shove you bitch. I stole that hair clip for you and you have no right to throw it back in my face you shit. Kyle Broflovski What the fuck? Why is everybody so pissed off now? Did I miss something? Kyle Broflovski *drinks rum with a confused expression* Stan Marsh *just shrugs, moving over to give Kyle room* Christophe DeLorn Oui, maybe you missed ze fucking aliens. *scoffs and grabs the bottle of rum.* I can't 'andle zis. Enjoy your fucking booze, bitches. *stalks out*. Stan Marsh And there goes Mole. *dryly, still not looking back as he holds his still undrunk mug* Wendy Testaburger You're the one who's acting like a bitch! *she pushes her* Making it seem like you care... giving me fucking tylenol, helping me...*pushes her again* I HATE people like you! You're all the fucking same! Stan Marsh *sighs, leaning his arms against the table, still looking off* ...Judas, you should probably go calm down your girlfriends before they start breaking things. Gregory Langsdale *Grumbles to himself before scraping his chair back and half-jogging after Christophe* Christophe. Wait. Red Kerrigan *stumbles backwards, and then runs forwards at Wendy after she regains her footing and lunges herself at her, grabbing at her hair and kneeing her in the stomach* Stan Marsh *leans in again, looking a bit more grouchy* Christophe DeLorn *grabs Gregory's wrist as he catches up and steers him out the door* Kyle Broflovski Dude, no way. I'm not getting in the middle of that shit. *drinks more rummmm* Stan Marsh *gives almost a grin, not quite, still staring off* Yea. Fair enough. Wendy Testaburger Oof! *grabs her shoulder and throws her down to the ground. She starts slapping her* Why... are... you such.... a cunt! Stan Marsh *pinches nose* Stan Marsh You know, when this settles down, I really do hope everyone really does want to get home. Kyle Broflovski I think they will. *grins slightly at Raven* You were pretty impressive tonight, dude. Stan Marsh *flips "Judas" off dully, finally taking a not too large drink of his mug* Red Kerrigan *tries to block her face, but ends up shoving Wendy off her by using her legs* Because I hate you!! I can't stand your fucking face!! Yeah, I can't even handle someone who isn't you but looks like you because I fucking despise you! Kyle Broflovski *doesn't know what else to say to that so he takes a long drink from his own mug* Stan Marsh What was it you were doing anyways. Just those chips, Judas? Stan Marsh *talking under the violent yells/screams of the girls* Stan Marsh *meanwhile the foriegn looking men kind of peer out of the kitchen; the earlier one still unconscious on the floor. They snap a few pics/video on their phones* Wendy Testaburger FUCK YOU! *gets up, tying her hair back* THEN JUST FUCKING KEEP YOUR WORD. *clenches her hands into fists, keeping them at her side* Kyle Broflovski *finally sets his mug down, smacking his lips from the burn of the rum* Hm? Yeah, I fixed the chips and researched that language - which I /knew/ was closest to an alien language, by the way - and...um... Yeah. Just the chips basically... *laughs softly* Stan Marsh So no secret network? *dryly.* Red Kerrigan MAYBE I WILL. FUCK YOU WENDY! THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT WHEN I FUCKED STAN UNDER THE BLEACHERS WHEN YOU WERE DATING HIM! BECAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING BACKSTABBING BITCH! Stan Marsh *raises brows, looking over his shoulder finally at ruckus* Stan Marsh *brow Kyle Broflovski *blinks* I haven't set up a network yet, no... I hadn't thought of doing that. *smiles at Raven* I did figure out how to send encrypted messages though. So secret conversations are possible now, if I set it up. Wendy Testaburger WHAT!?!? YOU FUCKED STAN....? Kyle Broflovski *follows his gaze* Oh my god, really? *raises eyebrows as well* Red Kerrigan YEAH I FUCKED STAN! I FUCKED STAN, AND I FUCKED YOU! Wendy Testaburger *her face turns red, and she grits her teeth* Get it through your THICK SKULL. That was NOT me. Stan Marsh Well that's erotic. Was it at the same time? *can't help himself, calls over* Wendy Testaburger *looks repulsed* What do you mean you FUCKED me!? WHEN! Kyle Broflovski *blushes a bit, both from getting drunk and from this conversation topic* Red Kerrigan FUCK YOU STAN! OR POE! OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU ARE CALLED NOW! UGH! *huffs and starts storming out towards the door* Wendy Testaburger WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING. *stares after her* Stan Marsh *gives a slight half raise of his hand in goodbye, still looking passively over his shoulder.* Red Kerrigan I'M LEAVING. I'M LEAVING AND I'M DONE WITH YOU AND THIS. I'M GOING TO GO DRINK WHILE STANDING ON THE LEDGE OF A ROOF OR SOMETHING SO FUCK YOU WENDY! *Flips off everyone as she yanks open the door* Kyle Broflovski *whistles softly, still sipping on his drink* Stan Marsh *shakes his head slightly, grinning dully as he looks back to his drink* Wendy Testaburger *runs out the door* Stan Marsh Getting between a woman and her fight, Judas, is a call to a death sentance. *advices, more on low voice, raising his mug* Kyle Broflovski Amen. *clinks his glass to Raven's* Stan Marsh *also clinks, taking a drink* Kyle Broflovski *takes an exceptionally long drink, getting considerably more intoxicated at this point* So dude... Why'd Cartman storm off a minute ago? Stan Marsh Really bug you that much? *raises a brow in Kyle's direction, still going light on the drink* Kyle Broflovski Naaahhhh, I was just wonderin'. *waves Raven off with his free hand* No big deal. Stan Marsh Depressed he's not being given attention like usual, I'd guess. *dully, taking a good drink without much reaction as he does* Kyle Broflovski *looks down* Probably. He asked me to come over to his place later tonight... *takes another drink, looking around the bar and not at Raven* Stan Marsh Oh yea? Planning on having a good post-raid romp? Kyle Broflovski No! *flushes* Stan Marsh Judas, it's not exactly a secret. You should get with him and get it over with already. Stan Marsh Or fuck him, whatever. Stan Marsh *takes another dull drink* Kyle Broflovski *sighs* But I... *pauses, and finds he can't finish his sentence so he just takes another drink instead* Stan Marsh ....Very inciteful, Judas. *just as dully, sounding still tired from the entire night's events* Kyle Broflovski *finally looks back at Raven, blinking at him for long minute* Dude, I don't want to lead him on or anything. I miss hanging out with him, but if that's really what he wants with me, I don't think I can. *frowns* I mean, it's not that I don't want to... I do kinda like him. I just...don't....wanna be /with/ him. *frowns further, looking confused* You know what, never mind. I sound retarded. *takes another drink, having almost finished the entire mug now* Stan Marsh *snorts slightly.* If? Judas, since I got here he's been hanging off of you like an infected parasite rigerously humping its new host. You can't sell me on the fact you haven't noticed how obsessed he is about you. *flatly, still not really appearing on caring to look to the other boy as he speaks* Kyle Broflovski *chugs the rest of his rum and ends up coughing because /that's a lot of straight rum/* Okay...*coughs...clears his throat* Okay, so maybe I noticed. A little bit. Kinda. That still doesn't change the fact that fuckin' around with him would.... *bites his tongue again and leans his forehead down onto the table* ............neverfuckingmind. Stan Marsh No, I get it. But either let him down or take him up, don't keep dicking around with him, Judas. *doesn't react either to all the coughing, setting his mug down.* Keeping the carrot over his head is just going to end up destructive for everyone. Kyle Broflovski *mumbles* Yeah, well, you're one to talk about dangling carrots... Stan Marsh *raises a brow, glancing at the other.* And what's that supposed to mean. Kyle Broflovski *lifts his head up again, halfway reaching for his drink but then remembers that it's empty. stares at Raven, eyes glossy and blinking slowly* 'Means I still think about you when you're not around. 'N you're not half bad as a gothy person...Actually you're pretty damn cool...and you're an asshole too, but not so much that it really bothers me. You're just really attractive... *trails off and leans his head back down against the table to hide his burning face* Stan Marsh Yes, we've established you want to bone me. *somewhat still dull, and on tired, leaning back against the table again, still holding the handle of his mug.* Sorry to say that infatuation is a passing pretense to the throes of teenage hormones, Judas. Try McCormick for a fuck buddy, fuck knows we all need some kind of release. Kyle Broflovski *reaches over to tug on Raven's shirt lightly and whispers very quietly* But Kenny doesn't make me feel like you do... *head still against the table* Stan Marsh Yea, and all the world is puppies and vaginas, Judas. *takes another drink, looking tired but not too phased or reacting on sleeve grabbing.* Kyle Broflovski *narrows his eyes and sits up straight* No, man, fuck that. *grabs a fist full of fabric under Raven's neck this time and yanks the other boy forward into a very impromptu kiss* Stan Marsh *He's pulled sharply into the drunken kiss but doesn't seem to react much on it. As far as it appears, Raven almost seemed to expect it, gaze dull despite the position he was currently in.* Kyle Broflovski *When Raven doesn't react, Kyle pulls away again, loosening his grip on Raven's shirt. He looks tired too.* Do you not like me? Is that it...? Kyle Broflovski *Do you just not Stan Marsh *looks still a bit tired, eyes falling back down on the other.* We already had this conversation. Stan Marsh I don't do "like," Judas. Kyle Broflovski So...you don't wanna make out with me right now...? Stan Marsh *rolls his eyes* Want has nothing to do with it. Kyle Broflovski *stares at him a bit sadly, but quickly tries to cover it up because he knows Raven will never care to understand how he feels, or even care at all. period. He finally completely lets go of Raven's shirt and shrugs* If you say so.. Stan Marsh *turns back to the table, picking his mug back up.* ...You're really such a child. Kyle Broflovski Am not. *crosses his arms over his chest* Stan Marsh That wasn't a joke. *blandly, just as flat as the boy typically was.* Kyle Broflovski Do you hear me laughing? *raises his eyebrows, almost starting to grin* Stan Marsh *looks over to the other, looking fairly unamused.* Kyle Broflovski What? Stan Marsh What exactly would you expect with me, Broflovski. A wedding? Or sorry, let's just make out and entrance in our sweet unrequited love for one another. *dull, back behind his usual retorts as he turns to take another drink, looking off tired to a clock at the other side of the bar* Kyle Broflovski I dunno... *murmurs something unintelligible* ...just wanted to kiss you. Tha's all. I don't really expect anything at this point. You don't really...react to anything I say or do, except for those couple of times when... *flushes* Fuck, never mind again. God.. That shit didn' matter either. *pinches the bridge of his nose, much like Raven often does* Doesn't matter. M'too drunk anyway. Jus' ignore me, dude... M'sorry... Stan Marsh *rolls his eyes slightly* Honestly, you're not very straightforeword, Judas. You keep pressing for a relationship and expect me to read your mind when you say you aren't. Kyle Broflovski *laughs bitterly* Well, I said I was sorry, didn' I? *tries to glare at Raven but he's too drunk to stay mad at him and as soon as their eyes meet he caves in and frowns sadly* I can't help but want it, dude. I really like you. Even when you keep putting me off, it...it kinda jus makes me want you more. Stan Marsh Oh jesus...*places a hand against his face, hunching against the table.* Judas. That is called being a teenager. *He looks between his fingers, blandly at the other.* You'll grow out of it. Kyle Broflovski Sorry...? *looks sadly on at Raven, genuinely apologetic and unsure of what else he should say, if anything. He didn't feel like he'd grow out of it. He'd been in love with Stan for years now.* Stan Marsh Infatuation, wanting what you can't have, etc. *gives an oddly bland wave of his hand, and, on that point, taking another few gulps on his straight whiskey, still rather impressively not giving much reaction to this.* Kyle Broflovski *sighs* Why the hell do I /always/ do that, anyway? You seem pretty well read up on it. Why is it I always only want what I can't have? Kyle Broflovski Is it really just hormones...? 'Cause that's fucking bullshit right there. Stan Marsh Because you love the challenge. It's like longing for that one basketball you've alway wanted and finally when you get it, it ends up loosing its worth. *just as flatly, still looking off.* And sure Judas. Teenage princess love lasts forever. Kyle Broflovski *finally smiles a bit, thinking Raven made somewhat of a joke* Well, you're right about that - I do love a challenge. I don't think anything worth having is easily attainable. *pauses, and then adds quietly* Especially a relationship. Not only is something like that hard to start, it's also hard to hold onto. People change, and often. To make it work, you have to grow and change with them. *realizes he's started into a speech and mentally bites his tongue* You're not into anything like that, are you? Kyle Broflovski *laughs kinda nervously at the end* Stan Marsh *puts his hand against his face again, pressing it at his forehead.* Do I look like I'm into any of that, Judas? Kyle Broflovski No. No you don't. *shakes his head slightly* Stan Marsh There you go, Broflovski. Very good. *blunt on irritated* Kyle Broflovski You wanna go for a walk? *perks up a bit* Stan Marsh No. *flatly.* Kyle Broflovski Oh, come on. *grabs Raven's wrist* You're basically done with your drink anyway. We can walk back to your place together or something! Stan Marsh *presses harder against his forehead, glancing dully to the other.* Do you have amnesia. Really. Kyle Broflovski *looks confused and lets go* No, I don't... Stan Marsh Judas. Since when do I skip around enjoying walks and carry conformists over puddles to buddy up in a room. Kyle Broflovski You don't. *smiles* So come on. Let's go then. *stands up this time and literally yanks Raven up by his arm, giggling a bit*

[relaxguyooc]

[3rd short] Cartman, Christophe, Dylan, Evan, Gregory, Josh, Kenny, Kyle, Red, Stan, Wendy, Ricky Ricardo, Najix

Summary: Break-in log, part II of II.  Now with more monsters!  Important log for plot purposes.

Takes Place On: Sunday, September 23rd.  Part of Miniplot VI: Break-In.

(Previous Part)

Eric Cartman **Brings out a notepad, and begins to make a map of this place. trying not to make a lot of noise behind the boxes he's currently cowering behind** Shit, we can't get lost in here. Lord knows how the fuck we're going to navigate through this place. We might be wandering for ages, and I can't fucking afford to miss out on college and shit! I haven't even passed out drunk in my own vomit yet! Kenny McCormick That's a sad ass statement, dude, the fuck's wrong with your life. *looks around* Eric Cartman **growls at Kenny** Well, you must be a shitty best friend for not taking me to the parties that COULD have led me to getting drunk off my ass! **Shakes head** Instead you were probably fucking... **Sighs** getting wasted off your OWN ass. Eric Cartman **Finishes the map and gets a final text** Kyle's on his way apparently. I just told him how we all got here. He still has the codes to the chip. **pockets phone.** Hopefully he's more help than a hindrance... clumsy Jew. Kenny McCormick *just rolls his eyes a little* Sassy Monster *Taps her foot a little, talking on what appears to be a cellphone in a strange language* Wendy Testaburger *rolls her eyes and whispers* If it wasn't for that "stupid jew" half of us wouldn't even be able to get in here. Now shh! *she puts a finger to her lips and points to the monster* Kyle Broflovski *Kyle is waiting outside the HQ building and has been texting Cartman to fill him in on what's going on. He sends out a mass text to everyone (since he doesn't particularly know who is already there or not) that says: "If you're not already inside, meet me behind the HQ building asap, and let me know you're on your way. I can get you in."* Christophe DeLorn Can i 'it zis fucking bitch again? *to Gregory* Red Kerrigan *stays quiet, sitting right next to Wendy, eyes moving from person to person* Kenny McCormick Dunno dude hitting monsters hasn't seemed like it's all that. Like, works. So far. Gregory Langsdale *Frowns* Not unless you want to cause even more trouble. We don't even know who she is. Evan Issac *also keeps his mouth shut, hidden behind the boxes with the others, though is near Dylan and Raven* This is just all so fucking lame. *really misses just being bored in his dark cave* Christophe DeLorn *grits his teeth, staring stonily at the uglyass bitch and gripping his shovel as tightly as he can* Wendy Testaburger I say yes. Bitch freakin' picked me up and dropped me. *crosses arms, glaring* Sassy Monster *Notices Cartman hiding and drags everyone behind the boxes out into the open* Security should be here any minute. They'll take you upstairs. *Says this as ominously as possible before turning away to put some more bronzer on* Red Kerrigan Are you okay? *Red whispers to Wendy, reaching for her bag* I've got some Tylenol in here... Eric Cartman **Flails as he's being dragged away** NO! FUCKING SHIT! HOW DID YOU LEARN HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH!? **Kicks at her slime and tries to reach for something to hold onto** Kenny McCormick Yeah? Like, upstairs upstairs? *kicks Cartman lightly in the leg* Dude stop flippign out Christophe DeLorn What ze fuck is upstairs? I say zat we leave while we still can, zis is fucked ze fuck up. Stan Marsh I'm actually with Mole on this one. *bland, but pointedly* Wendy Testaburger *wendy grabs his hand, trying to pull him back but just ends up getting pulled herself. She nods at Red, popping two tylenol into her mouth* Kenny McCormick Upstair's where the boss dudes are though man Wendy Testaburger Thanks.. Christophe DeLorn *flips Raven off* Eric Cartman **Scoffs at everyone** But we already got this far! I think upstairs is where the fucking portals will be! **Hovers in closer to everyone** I say we let them take us! Kyle Broflovski *Being a sneaky little Jew, Kyle manages to avoid trouble as he stealthily makes his way through HQ using the directions Cartman gave him. Once he gets to the transporters, he frowns, wary of them, and takes a deep breath before finally stepping through.* Stan Marsh Yea, and we won't exactly be finding out a whole lot going up there, will we? It's better we keep exploring. Kind of obvious they don't want us to. Stan Marsh *more over glaring, stern, on the "monster"* Evan Issac They'll fucking track us down anyway. Running would be futile. Stan Marsh Not before we figure out what the fuck they're so keen on hiding. *shoots at Evan, glancing to him* Red Kerrigan *she follows them out into the open, frowning* Eric Cartman We won't be /running/. **Keeping his voice to a minimum, checking on the monster before snapping** We'd be following them "upstairs" and THEN scatter! Stan Marsh If security gets here you really think they'll let us go, fatboy. Red Kerrigan We don't know if we'll be going up there with mobility. What if they taze us? Wendy Testaburger *Wendy nods* Red and Raven are right. That would also make it easier for them to track us down. Stan Marsh Why are we even discussing this. We should scatter now and forget about this. Wendy Testaburger *gets up slowly, then offers a hand to Red to pull her up* We should just run. She's not even looking. Red Kerrigan I'm with St- I mean, Raven, whatever. Let's go now before security teleports in. Kenny McCormick What, dude, go back through the green light express and go back to the dorms? Red Kerrigan *gets up with Wendy* Stan Marsh No, down the hall, McCormick. Stan Marsh It's not exactly like we're trapped yet Eric Cartman **Rolls eyes** They're not going to fucking kill us, we're they're best show! But you know what? **huffs** You run away now and they MIGHT hunt you down. But if we just play the dumb card and sucker up to them and be all "oh we got losst trying to find a partyyy" **Snickers** They'd more than likely be linient and well get more out of this "tour" towards the upstairs! Kenny McCormick Nobody's gonna buy we fucking got lost dude Kenny McCormick Knocked out a bunch of people and busted an elevator Red Kerrigan Cartman, seriously? Wendy Testaburger I don't think the head of this entire operation is that ignorant. The guards might be, but not the boss. Christophe DeLorn I say it is better to go back, but zey already know what we did, so maybe we can find more out. Zis is fucked up as shit. *groans and leans back against the wall, trying to remember if he consumed any hard drugs in the recent past* Stan Marsh Cartman, you honestly believe that with all these moron conformist guards spouting how we're not allowed up here, they'll just give us their secrets? Red Kerrigan Wendy, let's go. Stan Marsh I'm with them. You guys have fun getting caught before we see what the fuck this is all about. Red Kerrigan *laces her fingers with Wendy's and then pulls her with her as she goes down the hall quickly* Stan Marsh *And on that, with a brief, hard glance at Gregory, Raven pulls away to join them* Wendy Testaburger *goes into a jog, keeping her feet light* Gregory Langsdale *Shoots Raven an equally dismissive one of his own before rolling his eyes* Kyle Broflovski *arrives in a room and hears his friends talking somewhere close by, so he sneaks over to the door and peeks outside it to see what's going on in the hall* Wendy Testaburger Where should we go, we have no idea the layout of the building... Kenny McCormick *catches Kyle's eye and gives a sardonic kind of wave* Sup, dude? Stan Marsh Wherever we can. Unfortunately for the others, the guards should be distracted enough to get something else in. Stan Marsh I for one want to know what was with that security code. What the fuck is so important over here. Stan Marsh Hell, where the fuck is "here". Kyle Broflovski *waves back to Kenny, looking more than a little freaked out* Eric Cartman **Rases his brow at the lot of them** Good luck getting killed! **Stares at Wendy for second later, frowning in disappointment. Yet this all goes away the second Kyle shows up.** Kyle! **tugs him downwards where he's sitting.** Keep low! We're waiting for the guard to come back, we're going to go see the boss of this whole thing. **Gives him a serious look** And you're going to give him one of your gay little speeches. Red Kerrigan There might be more of those things around, we need to be careful... Sassy Monster *Still talking on her cellphone before noticing them* Hey - hey! Kid-things! You're supposed to wait for security! *The next hallway!: Looks pretty much the same as the room they just left: everything is done up in nice, uninviting metal cross-beams with no windows. There are weird doors literally everywhere, some with see-through plastic facing and pushpads on the side.* Kyle Broflovski I am, huh? *gets pulled down next to Cartman* Where's everybody else going...? *watches them leaving* Red Kerrigan *when they're quite a ways away, Red looks over her shoulder* Maybe we should go in a room? Stan Marsh *Raven slows slightly, trying to get a glimpse of what some of the see-through doors and what might just be beyond them* Stan Marsh Yea, good plan. If we can even get them open. *See through door: Just looks like a weird tube. The pinbad looks inviting* Stan Marsh Christ, we should've taken one of those chips with us. Eric Cartman Pay them no mind. **Shakes head** They clearly haven't played this kind of game before, and theyre going to get themselves lost and killed as they blindy go through this maze. Wendy Testaburger *stops, trying to peek through but it's too high up and she can't see* Dammit. Stan, I've got one in my arm. I mean, uh, Raven. *She waves her wrist in front of the door* Kyle Broflovski *frowns at him* So you're just going to /let/ them get themselves lost and killed?! Stan Marsh *Eventually Raven slows to a random door and pinpad, glancing sharp behind him before punching in a random sequence of numbers* *The door opens! Inside is a small circular area that can fit about six people* Kenny McCormick Yeah dude I'm not a fan of the letting people die part not gonna lie *jogs after Stan* Red Kerrigan ......what do you think that thing is? Eric Cartman **Shruggs** I already warned them. I'm just waiting for the guards to get here to escort us "upstairs". **pulls out a bag of chips** They're basically taking us where we want to go! Stan Marsh *somewhat surprised, but he's not looking a gifted horse in the mouth this time. He enters inside, nodding to the other two girls* Wendy Testaburger *hesitantly steps into the room* I-I have no idea. Red Kerrigan *walks in after Raven, still holding wendy's hand* Eric Cartman **Watches Kenny go** Ay! What the fuck do you think you're doing? Stan Marsh Honestly, I say we look at everything we can before they catch up to us. Stan Marsh We have chips in us, right? Not like we can avoid them forever, but might as well take advantage of whatever the fuck we can right now. Christophe DeLorn *goes with Kenny, flipping Cartman off* Stan Marsh *looking over the room* Kenny McCormick *calls over his shoulder to Cartman* You're a big boy, dude, you've got this *catches up to Stan and co* Red Kerrigan Yeah, good plan. Kyle Broflovski So your plan....*staring at Cartman incredulously* is now to genuinely /get captured/? Wendy Testaburger Let's not split up anymore. *tightens her grip on Red's hand* Stan Marsh *looks behind him as Kenny enters.*...McCormick. What a surprise. Wendy Testaburger So. Decided to join the team Kenny? *grins* Stan Marsh Miss us? Eric Cartman **Seeing everyone leave, internally arguing with himself whether he should follow or not** Sure! The guards know this place better than we do, so manipulating them to get us to the boss should be easy! Stan Marsh *for his part, does kind of throw Wendy a slight grin, but gaze still dark* Kenny McCormick What can I say, no I in team, united we fall, all that shit *shrugS* Stan Marsh Yea. Very noble of you. Red Kerrigan This room doesn't look like it has anything important in it...next room, guys? Stan Marsh *Raven takes another look around the room, trying to get a catch of anything he might be able to mess with* Stan Marsh Yea, sounds fair enough, Red. Wendy Testaburger *widens her eyes at Raven smiling at her, hell, even smiling in general* Yeah. Let's go. Red Kerrigan Wait, is that a pinpad? Kyle Broflovski *shakes his head* Dude, I really don't think that's the smartest plan... We're basically giving ourselves over for punishment while the rest of us *nods toward where Kenny and Christophe just left* are still out learning more about this place. Stan Marsh ....Looks like it? *Raven meandors to the pinpad, looking it over again before selecting the same numbers previously to get into the small area.* *The door closes, leaving everyone not inside out* Wendy Testaburger FUCK. *The elevator suddenly Futurama-styles everyone up into a series of tubes lining the ceiling, zipping them around through the see-through piping. On the way to wherever they're going, they pass by the room Cartman and co are sitting in* Stan Marsh *spins around.* Wendy Testaburger *she runs to the door, pounding on it with her fists* Eric Cartman **Crosses arms** So you think we should join them and wind up dead anywa- **Sees all of them going up some tube** What the... Kenny McCormick *is utterly obnoxious and does a big WOOOOOOO in the tube* Red Kerrigan What the hell - it's an elevator! Gregory Langsdale Gregory: *Glances up, shocked as they pass by* What the hell- Wendy Testaburger *Screams, covering her eyes* Kyle Broflovski *stares in wonder* ....the fuck? *unintentionally finishes Cartman's sentence lol* Stan Marsh *Raven is just kind of caught on shock for a second, pulled through the fucking tubes* Kenny McCormick *waves as they pass Gregory, Cartman, Kyle, etc* *The elevator zips them up several floors before dropping them off in a similar tiny elevator area. The doors slide open to show what looks like a break room, with tons of horrible monsters sitting around drinking soda* Wendy Testaburger Oh... my.... god Kenny McCormick ....Ah, shit. Red Kerrigan Oh....fuck. Eric Cartman **takes Kyle's hand** Actually, that looks like a HELL of a lot of fun! Fuck waiting around, lets go! **Takes off in the direction Kenny went of to.** Stan Marsh Oh...great. Stan Marsh *pulls his knife back out, seemingly a bit disoriented from the "ride"* Wendy Testaburger *surveys the room, looking for an escape* Monsters *Stare for a few monents before bull-rushing the elevator. Some are waving sheets of paper and pens in their direction. All are jabbering in a crazy language* Josh Myers *has been sitting with the monsters conversing for quite some time now, holding what looks like a... ghostbusters-like toilet paper gun* Christophe DeLorn *grabs Gregory and follows everyone into the tubes, determined to at least all go out as a group* Red Kerrigan What the-...wait, isn't that ... Kyle Broflovski FUN?! That looks ridiculous!! Let me go! *gets dragged along anyway* Red Kerrigan Joshyboy? Eric Cartman **Pauses in front of door** Lets see where it took them first. **Takes out phone, texting Kenny "Hey, where did that go"?** Stan Marsh Myers? Wendy Testaburger *stars karate kicking monsters left and right, punching widely* Red! Over here! Gregory Langsdale *Sighs* For once, Cartman has a decent idea. Kenny McCormick Uhhhh hey dudes what's up *tries to push forward through the monsters* You guys fans and shit too? That's cool, that's cool. Uhh. Hey, Meyers Red Kerrigan *rushes after Wendy* Monsters *Are super not happy with this and try pinning Wendy to the ground* Stan Marsh *Raven, still holding his knife, eyes McCormick warily, staying back for the moment* Josh Myers *blows a few monsters out of the way with his gun* Out, out of the way, gentlemen. Red Kerrigan HEY! GET YOUR FUCKING UGLY HANDS OFF HER! *kicks and hits at them* Kenny McCormick Guys for real I thought we figured the whole punching monsters deal was a dud? *just sighs a little before looking at Josh* Monster near Myers: RBRHHHUUHHUHHH WBBBHHYHH *Flips him off and tries to get him in a hold as well, flashing a strange looking badge and weilding something that looks a little like handcuffs* Red Kerrigan Well sorry Kenneth, but Wendy's getting manhandled by ugly brutes! Wendy Testaburger *on the ground, uses her legs to throw them off of here* YOU MOTHERFUCKERS. Josh Myers *quickly dodges and slips on a slime path, whoops* Wendy Testaburger *grabs a nearby pen, and stabs it into the closest monster's neck* Stan Marsh *trying his best to just stay the fuck out of the way of this mess, looking passed the break room for a sign of a quick exit* Red Kerrigan We need to find an exit, Wendy! *grabs her hand and yanks her through two monsters towards a wall* Eric Cartman **Still not getting a response** This looks bad, Kenny hasn't responded yet. Maybe they're in some kind of fucking trash reciprocal. **Glances back at Kyle and Gregory** I'm not too keen to follow. So what do we do? Go back and wait by that Girl Monster or find another way up? Kyle Broflovski Find another way. I didn't wanna go in that damn elevator in the first place. Wendy Testaburger *runs with Red* My fucking shoes... goddamn slime monsters. Eric Cartman **Gives Gregory a concerned look** You wanna follow your boyfriend or come with Kyle and I? Kyle Broflovski *also looks at Gregory* Wendy Testaburger *looks around for Raven then grabs his arm and drags him with them* Come on. Keep up. Red Kerrigan Feel sorry for their custodian - come on, let's find a door and get the fuck outta here! Kenny McCormick Yup, time to bail, bailing is an excellent plan Gregory Langsdale *Sighs and rubs at one temple* We honestly have no idea how large this place is. If they can't tell us where they are, this seems like the best way to find them unfortunately. It's not as though we can exactly follow those tubes* Monsters *Now are pretty annoyed, yelling and pointing at various people and actively trying to handcuff them* Stan Marsh *following along, somewhat surprised by the tug on his arm, but following after the gang regardless - stealthily ducking a monster and their angry cuff waving* Kenny McCormick *ducks away from one of the monsters, hands up peaceably* Dudes, come on, can't we all chill and like, sing a song, all that shit.... Wendy Testaburger The fuck do they get handcuffs from! *dodges, backing against the wall* Stan Marsh McCormick, I doubt they're in the mood for singing - keep up-- Red Kerrigan I don't know! Eric Cartman **Nodds at Gregory** Exactly. My thinking all along. **Shimmys up next to him** And if they start getting physical well, we'll just give it back to them now wont we? **Chuckles, walking back towards the woman monster** Stan Marsh Honestly, fuck if I know, Testaburger. Wendy Testaburger *scoffs* Why don't you offer them a hit from your bong, too, Kenny. Red Kerrigan Wait...guys. They had pens and papers, what if they want autographs? Red Kerrigan I mean, what was that about? Kenny McCormick Dude if I had a working bong I sure as fuck wouldn't be in this building right now, *ducks around another monster* They weren't all ticked off till you started upnching them Josh Myers Fellas, fellas, please. *yanks a glove out of his pocket and pats one of the slime monsters* No, perhaps that is an excellent idea. Perhaps they enjoy boybands, hm? *pushes himself up on his feet and rides a monster like a horse, getting coated in slime.* Stan Marsh They also had handcuffs - I'm not risking it Dylan North -entirely confused, just sort of following along behind everyone and trying not to die- Gregory Langsdale *Shoves Cartman, hard as he's walking away* Red Kerrigan Wait, stop! We're on tour, do you want an autograph? Red Kerrigan *at the monsters* Kenny McCormick *rolls his eyes* Stan Marsh Red, you are ridiculous. Stan Marsh More ridiculous than McCormick. Stan Marsh The last monster and two guards wanted us detained Wendy Testaburger Shut up, Raven. It's a logical conclusion. Stan Marsh I doubt they're impressed with our celebrity status Monster being ridden by Josh *Flips the fuck out, waving its hands around before grabbing his legs and slamming him into a table, pro-wrestler style. The other monsters clap accordingly* Eric Cartman **Surprised at Gregory's Outburst** Harsh! Fucking shit Gregory! **rubs his shoulder, whining** Just because Christophe ditched you doesn't mean you should take it out on me! Stan Marsh It's a wild guess - let's find a fucking way out of this place Kyle Broflovski *just following Cartman and staying kind of quiet* Red Kerrigan Everything we're doing is a wild fucking guess, Stan! Josh Myers You fools! Try it anyway! *is flailed around in the air, hitting at the monster with his TP gun* Stan Marsh *whips out his phone regardless, giving a sharp look over his shoulder as Myers gets pro-wrestler'd into a table* Gregory Langsdale Nobody /ditched me/, you idiot. And that's hardly an invitation to begin hitting on me when we're in the middle of a pit of insanity and goddamn 'slime monsters.' Wendy Testaburger *Breaks away from Red, running to help Josh. She dodges monsters and handcuffs* Red Kerrigan *walks over to a monster holding a paper and pen, grabs at the paper* Stan Marsh *Raven, on the other hand, keeps focus on his phone and finding an exit of some sort that isn't back toward the tubes* Kenny McCormick Myers, you ok, dude? Monster *Is TPed! In his stead, another monster sidles up behind Josh and discreetly tries to cuff him* Gregory Langsdale *Pauses, pulling out his cellphone before responding to Raven's text* Hold up. Wendy Testaburger Myers! *Starts to try to push monsters, put her hands just keep gets getting slime all over her hands* Kyle Broflovski What is it, dude? *looks at Gregory curiously* Gregory Langsdale It's Raven. *Texting still* Apparently they are, quote, 'surrounded by monsters or whatever the fuck.' Josh Myers *uses a monster as a ladder and climbs to a ceiling lamp, clinging for dear life. His gun drops and breaks on the floor, and despite being covered in slime, and obviously slipping, he's not going anywhere* Eric Cartman **Also glances back** Hah! You WISH I was hitting on yo- **hears about the text** HA HAHA! **bursts out laughing** Fuckers deserved it! Monsters *Gather around Josh in a loose circle, just sort of looking up at him. One monster taps his foot and makes several BRRMMWWOO MOOOO OOO noises in a very "now look what you've done, young man" tone of voice* Monster *Goes to get a REAL ladder from the REAL closet and climbs up after Josh, attempting to rescue him fireman and kitten style* Kenny McCormick *can't help but laugh at the whole monsters & Josh situation* Stan Marsh Jesus fuck. Red Kerrigan ...*backs away to where Wendy is, watching* Kyle Broflovski Really? Jeez... *glares at Cartman* We should probably try to help them out somehow.. Stan Marsh Ok, Red, Mimi, McCormick - if there isn't another way out of this mess Stan Marsh Thoughts on getting the fuck back in the tubes Stan Marsh and away from these monsters seem "logical" enough to you? Christophe DeLorn *gets on the elevator and steps out into the fray, shovel at the ready. whacks the nearest one* Monster *promptly tries cuffing Christophe* Christophe DeLorn *whacks it back, harder* Eric Cartman **Growls** We'll help them out by getting to the heads and getting them on our side! Maybe THEN they'll forgive the intrusion and we'll be able to see more of this place on THEIR terms! Kenny McCormick *glances over wehre Christophe just came out of the tube* Looks like there's a backup, dude Red Kerrigan *waves hands wildly, trying to get the monsters to look at her* HEY! LOOK AT ME AND NOT AT MYERS! *harshly pokes a monster* Stan Marsh Christ this is ridiculous Gregory Langsdale *Sighs and steps into the elevator as well* Sounds as though we're going to go help them out. *Shouts* Cartman, get back in here* Wendy Testaburger Red! No! *Tries to pull her hands down* Stan Marsh *glances up at "kitten Myers"* Josh Myers If you would like to explore this place any further, then I suggest you leave now while those bundles of slime are distracted! *hisses at Red* I'm fine on my own, thank you. Monster Lady *Turns around and adjusts her many boobs at Red, not impressed with the poke* Dylan North .... can someone explain what the fuck is going on and if we're getting away soon because I'm really not at all wanting to know otherwise. Kyle Broflovski Dude, that's a stupid plan! You should drop it. *grabs Cartman this time and leads him back to the elevator where Gregory is* Red Kerrigan Look, we're supposed to go somewhere, we were ordered from higher ups - we're being guided by Wendy - *points at Wendy* can we get myers and go? Christophe DeLorn *wonders where the fuck Gregory went as he thwacks the monster in the head-like reigon* Monster Lady *blinks at Red, looking back and forth from her to Wendy before holding up a finger. Fumbles around in her pocket before handing Red a piece of paper and a pen* Josh Myers *backflips off of the lamp and lands between them, almost slipping again while repeating 'whoa whoa whoa'* Red Kerrigan *grabs the paper and writes down her name quickly, holding it back out to her* Wendy Testaburger Yes, uh, thank you for all your... *looks freaked out that they're listening to Red* help. Gregory Langsdale *Helps Kyle physically drag Cartman into the elevator before jabbing the button Raven told him to* Eric Cartman **Pouts** GOD DAMN IT! **Doesn't want to be left alone** Of course we have to go play FUCKING hero to all the god damn idiot! **Follows both Kyle and Gregory, albeit reluctantly** And it's a GREAT plan but of COURSE you all are too good damn SPONTANEOUS to focus on it! **Grumbles** /Stupid... Kyle... being here and fucking things up./ Kenny McCormick *pops up behind Christophe and puts a hand on his shoulder* Pause on the whackings for a sec dude GMonster Lady *Thumbs ups at Red before beginning to lecture her for several minutes, pointing at various things before finally motioning at her to follow her out of the room* Elevator: *Stops at Monster city* Red Kerrigan Let's go guys. *she follows the monster, exhausted* Christophe DeLorn *stops, breathing heavily* Kyle Broflovski What was that? *narrows eyes at Cartman but then pales at the sight of so many slimes when the door opens* Oh fucking hell..... Wendy Testaburger *rubs the sides of her head, following as well* This is too much. Stan Marsh *Raven is wary, but it doesn't look like there's a lot of other options here. Or exits. He follows behind, still apparently prepared for a fight if it comes to that.* Gregory Langsdale Oh for God's sake - *Sighs before crossing over to Christophe and forcibly lowering his shovel* Kenny McCormick *pats him a couple times* See? Kumbayfuckingya and shit. Josh Myers *grabs his ruined gun and triumphantly follows* Eric Cartman **Blinks at all the fucking monster carnage** Fuck. **takes a couple steps to the side, holding Kyle's hand and tugging it with him** We're totaly out numbered. Dylan North -just sort of clings to Evan. No idea what's going on yay- Monster Lady *Is just sassing everyone the hell out, pointing at all the mess and then at her shiny, many-pointed badge on her chest. Most of the sassing is directed at Wendy and Josh* Kenny McCormick Alright guys everybody follow the pretty monster lady and shit, before they all start to do robot fucking rumble again. *shakes his head* Stan Marsh Guess you two missed out on the A+'s in your report card. *pointedly to Wendy and Josh* Wendy Testaburger *nods like she has a clue what's going on* Red Kerrigan *sighs as she looks to Wendy and Josh, watching the lady monster closely for any sudden movements or weapons hidden in her many boobs* Josh Myers *shrugs at the lady monster, unsure of what she is telling them. Has never understood listening to authoratative language* Josh Myers *props the slimed gun on his shoulder* Do you know what she is saying, Testaburger? Red Kerrigan Look, we need to see the boss - apparently they wanted to see Wendy? I don't know. The last worker was really rude and she's not as nice as you, uh, Miss Monster. Monster Lady *Warns them one more time before taking a new piece of paper and scribbling on it. Hands it back to Red: it looks like directions to go down the hallway and turn left before reacing another elevator. Above that elevator is the number 1 and a giant star* Stan Marsh So we're back to being led to "the boss" now? Another monster *Prods Raven in the back of the head with some paper and a pen* Red Kerrigan Thanks. We're really grateful. Uh, guys, we have the directions now. *waves them over nervously, holding onto the paper* Wendy Testaburger Not a clue, Myers. *adjusts her slime covered beret, and wipes her hands off on her jeans* Kenny McCormick Dude at this point I'm good and ready to see a fucking boss if it means nobody's punching fucking slime monsters no more. Eric Cartman **Impressed at Red's incessant prodding, and walks over to look at the paper, grabbing** You understand, this could take us to some fire pit? Gregory Langsdale Did they mention where exactly it leads to? *Frowns and tries to glance over Red's shoulder* Red Kerrigan *walks down the hall, glaring at Cartman when he grabs it away* Perfectly aware. Wendy Testaburger Agreed. *follows Red, then sees Cartman* Excuse YOU. That's Red's. Not yours. Red Kerrigan But did you see the star? It looks important. Josh Myers *salutes to the lady monster, as though that is the correct way to respond, which it probably isn't* Stan Marsh *eyes narrow, looking behind him and taking the pen and paper. He stares at the monster for a second, not even understanding what he's holding the notepad for* Kyle Broflovski *finally catches up with the others, just standing closeby and catching up on the new directions development* Red Kerrigan I hardly think a firepit has a star over it. *walks, remembering which way from looking at the sheet before* Eric Cartman **Hands paper back to Red** Alight, take it! YOU lead us to our firey death, I'll just... **takes a couple steps back** Bring up the rear again. Kenny McCormick If they wanted to firepit us dude they had like twelve chances already Monster Lady *Holds up one hand at Josh in reply* Red Kerrigan *takes the paper back, rolling her eyes at Cartman* Yeah you do that. You make a great ass to the group. Eric Cartman **Growls at Kenny** Meh meh meh meh meh... Stan Marsh *just kind of sighs, looking back at the others. He glances to the monster,* The fuck am I supposed to do with this? Eric Cartman Ay! Red Kerrigan *turns left* Other Monster *Slooooooooooowly pokes Stan in the head with the paper again before throwing up its hands and stomping away, meanwhile picking up another cellphone and yapping into it* Wendy Testaburger *laughs, happily walking with Red* Eric Cartman **Sees how close wendy and red have gotten, seems amused by it** Hah. **jabs Kyle's side** Knew they wee lesbos. Kyle Broflovski *whispers* Cartman, if you ask me, I'm perfectly okay with them leading the way. Don't cause trouble. *NEXT HALLWAY: This hallway is also filled with doors, but only on one side. On the other side is an enormous twenty-foot long window with a very nice view of earth* Wendy Testaburger *turns around, glaring* SHUT UP, I'LL KICK YOUR ASS. Kenny McCormick *grins patiently at Cartman, still just followin the group* Stan Marsh *pinches his nose for a brief moment, before simply turning on heel and following the others* Eric Cartman Yeah yeah, they'll get shot down first. Giving US time to get the fuck ou- **Shockd by Wendy's outburst** Kyle Broflovski *mumbles something about Cartman being judgmental* Red Kerrigan *looks at the window* ...whoa...that's... Kenny McCormick *looks down the hall before letting out a long whistle* Stan Marsh *Raven eventually finds himself caught up to the rest, slowing as his eyes fix to the window* Stan Marsh .....Huh.... Kyle Broflovski *stares out the window, transfixed* Eric Cartman **Eyes flash open, remembers this all too clearly.** Woah. **Walking up it it slowly** I never thought I'd be back here. Wendy Testaburger Oh, wow... *hesitantly takes a step back* Red Kerrigan Okay, let's look for the star door guys, that's weird- yeah.... Kenny McCormick What, dude, in space? Gregory Langsdale ...Oh. *Blinks and stops, groping for Christophe* Stan Marsh Back here...? *distantly, albeit is getting something of dejavu himself* Eric Cartman Yeah! **glances back at Kenny** This is like, my fifth time Red Kerrigan *keeps walking, pulling Wendy along* Josh Myers *smiling to himself, just, sits down in front of the window, staring and putting the pieces of his broken gun back together* Kyle Broflovski I should have guessed when I saw those slime aliens... Kenny McCormick We've been to space like twelve fuckin times *tilts his head at the earth* Stan Marsh Honestly, I'm not that surprised, fatass. Stan Marsh ....We--when we were kids? Dylan North -just sort of stares out the window, standing next to Josh- ... holy shit. Red Kerrigan I think the door's around here somewhere? Uh....right? ....right. Guys, come on, it's pretty but we have crap to do. * the end of the hallway: There's no star door, but there is an elevator and two doors nearby* Eric Cartman Five, Twelve, same thing! **Claps hands together** So that's why my butt malfunctioned, it caught some signal up hre. Gregory Langsdale .....'Why your butt malfunctioned.' Red Kerrigan *looks at paper* ...ugh, there's no star door, Wendy, do you see it? Kyle Broflovski *snickers* Wendy Testaburger *looks to Raven and smiles* Hey. Don't freak yourself out. Come with us? Stan Marsh Sorry Red if we're only now just realizing we're in space. *but for his part, he does glance off to the rest of the doors* Kenny McCormick Dude nobody needs reminding about your whole. Butt thing. Are we going upstairs? Wendy Testaburger *Looks around* No, I don't see one... Red Kerrigan Am I not seeing a star or something? Maybe it's the elevator... Josh Myers *blinks and tilts his head* A probe? Stan Marsh *glances to Wendy* Yea, let's just keep moving. Red Kerrigan *walks into the elevator, oblivious to the rest of the conversation as she holds the door* Guys? Eric Cartman **Gets defensive at Everyone's snickering** Ay! My Satellite ass is NOT fot you to make fun of! **Huffs** It might be the thing that gets us out of here, SnobbFuss! Stan Marsh Honestly I'm getting vivid picturgraphs of fatass, a satallite, and alien porn front screen. Christophe DeLorn *stares down at the planet, and snaps* Non. J'suis fini. *slumps down on the floor and leans back against the wall, closing his eyes and pulling out a cigarette* Wendy Testaburger Please, no more fucking tubes. *gets into the elevator* Eric Cartman **Whips head around to Stan** Alien Porn? Gregory Langsdale Christophe. Stop. *Reaches down and tugs at his arm* For once we actually need to stay together. Red Kerrigan Guys seriously if you don't get into the elevator I'm going to let it close. *stern* Stan Marsh Yea, alien porn. *follows after Wendy, glancing back and getting a catch of Christophe being useless back behind them* Kenny McCormick *waiting on the elevator with Red, grinning* Yes, mom Dylan North -sighs and follows- Gregory Langsdale God; hold on a moment, please. *Frowns at Red before trying to get Christophe off the floor again* Stan Marsh *sort of shakes his head, looking somewhat darkly, dissapointed at "Mole"* Kyle Broflovski *tugs on Cartman's shirt, still giggling* Shall we go? Eric Cartman **Then sees the drama with CHistophe and Gregory** Oh no... **watches silently, pulling Kyle towards him** They're having a spat. **Shifts eyes** You're not mad at me for whatever reason, right? I totally helped you get here! Red Kerrigan *stares at Christophe* Stop throwing a fit and get in the goddamn elevator! Josh Myers *mumbles to himself as he also tries to pull Christophe up* I don't remember at what point it was acceptable for /Red/ to be the one to lead us. Kenny McCormick *elbows Red* Dude be nice Stan Marsh Whatever. Mole is apparently having another little mental break down. Eric Cartman Correction, Temper tandrum. Kyle Broflovski Dude, no, I'm not mad! Come on, we gotta go. *drags him toward the elevator* Red Kerrigan Dude, if you elbow me again I'm going to insert my foot into your ass. I'm nervous as fuck and if we're caught again, someone with more authority might walk by. Gregory Langsdale *Drops Christophe's arm momentarily before turning to glare* All of you can fuck right off if you aren't going to be helpful. Just go if you're incapable of waiting. Stan Marsh No one's leading us, Myers. Wendy Testaburger *puts a hand on Red's shoulder and smiles, hoping to calm her* Red Kerrigan Ugh... Stan Marsh *looks even more annoyed and eyes dark, but for his part pulls away to head back toward Christophe, Gregory and Myers* Eric Cartman **Sees Kyle's determination, and decidedly whips him around. Glowering down at him with half-lidded eyes.** It Josh Myers Gregory, take his legs. I will take his arms. Is that acceptable? Kenny McCormick *waggles eyebrows as obnoxiously as possible at Red* You promise? Wendy Testaburger *takes that as disgust, and removes the hand. She frowns, crossing her arms* Christophe DeLorn *flips them all off and gets up, still staring at the planet* Eric Cartman 's been a while since I've seen you this motivated. Kenny McCormick Eric stop flirting and get on the fucking elevator, man Stan Marsh You ready or you need a nap too, Mole? *still stiffly, but stops as Christophe gets to his feet* Gregory Langsdale Raven. *Sidesteps to stan between him and Christophe* Was 'fuck off' not exactly clear enough? Red Kerrigan *waits impatiently, waving them towards the elevator. Stan Marsh This isn't the time for a spat. Stan Marsh We need to get moving. Kyle Broflovski *gets right back in Cartman's face* Yeah, like what you see? Then get on the damn elevator like Kenny said. *shoves him gently back before making his way over to it* Dylan North -leans against the side of the elevator.- With the way this shit is going and how well we're all interacting, I'd say we'll get the elevator moving.. In about four hours. Red Kerrigan Yeah, but is he okay? If you're going to be sick Christophe I don't want to be anywhere near you on this elevator. Stan Marsh Red, honestly there isn't a lot of choice. Red Kerrigan *watches Kyle enter* Stan Marsh We can fight or freak out or whatver the fuck later, come on. Josh Myers *happily shoves Christophe along down the path to the elevator, very forcefully* Eric Cartman **Pointedly ignoring Kenny, hoping for a kiss but was TERRIBLY disappointed when he got shoved** Ugh! Kenny you fucking SUCK! **Stomps over to the elevator, yelling at Christophe on his way over** Frenchy! If you don't come with us I'm going to play grab ass with Gregory on the elevator! Stan Marsh *finds himself, for once, grateful on Myers - giving Christophe a dark look even as he hads back toward the elevator*\ Christophe DeLorn *Shoves Stan against the wall as hard as he can before tromping into the elevator* Kenny McCormick Whatever, dude, should've gotten on the elevator and then decided to flirt Red Kerrigan Is everyone good? Can I take my hand out of the door now? Gregory Langsdale *Follows Christophe and Josh wordlessly, briefly glancing back to make sure Stan is all right* Stan Marsh *hits the wall, still glaring on dark, but ends up back on his feet and following regardless.* Eric Cartman **Sees Christophe storming over. Pats his cheek.** Nice to see you man up! **Gets inside and throws an arm over Kyle** Red Kerrigan Are we all done having bitchfits, flirting, discussing the scenery? Gregory Langsdale Enormously helpful, Red. As per usual. Christophe DeLorn *grabs Cartman by the throat and growls at him* I am two seconds away from murdering everyone in zis whole damn elevator so shut ze fuck up. Gregory Langsdale *Crosses his arms and gets in* Kyle Broflovski Cartman, calm the fuck down, dude. *swats his arm away* You're being flirtier than usual... Red Kerrigan Hey, whatever gets you moving. *Elevator pinpad: *Sits there invitingly, waiting for input!* Josh Myers *smiles again and locks his arms behind his back as usual, herding any stragglers into the elevator* Red Kerrigan Are you guys ready? Stan Marsh Mole. Wendy Testaburger HEY, WHAT THE FUCK, CHRISTOPHE! *goes to Stan* You okay? Kenny McCormick Dudes can everybody keep their hands to themselves? Stan Marsh You are fucking ridiculous- Eric Cartman **Eyes buldge out of his head and desperately tries to pry his hands off him** Dylan North -slams his head on the side of the elevator.- Stan Marsh You want out, head back, Christophe Josh Myers *8D haha that was silly* Stan Marsh But don't drag every fucking person here down with you. Red Kerrigan *glares at Christophe* Get your fucking hands off of him and calm the fuck down. Look, do you need water? Food? does anyone need anything? I have it in my bag. My arm's already numb, why not take a breather. Stan Marsh *pinches his nose.* Whoever needs a breather, outside. First group - we're heading off. Red Kerrigan Then after we are all done with this tense bull shit, we can get moving. Kyle Broflovski Yeah, everybody calm the fuck down. Seriously. *rolls his eyes and makes his way over to Red* Stan Marsh *heads to the pinpad, going for his luck on pressing another few numbers into it* Josh Myers I have toilet paper if anyone needs to relieve themselves. Christophe DeLorn *lets him go and slouches back against the wall* Eric Cartman **Gasps for breath, sliding down onto the floor coughing violently** Red Kerrigan Okay. Letting go of the elevator door now. *removes arm, letting doors close* Kenny McCormick Jesus fuck dude nobody take a shit in the elevator, nobody touch each other, this is some preschool shit right here. *just shakes his head* Dylan North What if we never went to preschool. Red Kerrigan *stands there and does a head count* *The elevator goes to a randomass floor, opening to show a large room full of silent TVs broadcasting various clips from Drama Town Survivor* Wendy Testaburger *kneels down next to Cartman* Eric! Red, toss me a water! Kenny McCormick Man that's why Barney's on the free channel Dylan North Barney can go fuck himself. Red Kerrigan *opens her bag and grabs some water, reachng through the crowd to hand it to Wendy* Gregory Langsdale *Worms over to where Christophe is, grabbing at his hand* Are you all right? Stan Marsh *Raven looks out behind them at where they ended up, frowning as he pushes out to step off the elevator* Kenny McCormick Not with arms that short he can't *steps out of the elevator into the room, turning towards everybody else Red Kerrigan *holds open the door for everyone to get out* Come on, file in guys. Evan Issac Insightful as always, Fuchsia. *stays close to Dylan, trying to tune out all the drama amongst the conformists in the elevator. It's hard to believe they followed the sheep this far* *The TV room is woefully uninteresting* Kyle Broflovski Looks like the elevator's stopped. *also worms his way out into the room, glancing around at the monitors* Stan Marsh Judas, see anything you can tamper with in here? Christophe DeLorn No. *knocks Gregory's hand away and pulls out another cigarette, walks out the door* Wendy Testaburger Thanks. *she hands it to Cartman, and starts rubbing his back.* come on, we need to get up. *she puts one of his arms around her and struggles but manages to drag him out of the elevator * *One of the TVs is showing that makeout clip that Wendy made* Kyle Broflovski *shakes his head* Just looks like TVs to me... Stan Marsh *looks somewhat annoyed and amused at clip* Dylan North -slams his head on the side of the elevator again- God damnit, are we done with the stupid television room? Red Kerrigan *walks inside after everyone's out* Is this some sort of broadcasting room or something? Kenny McCormick Dudes there's nothing here, everybody back on the bus Kyle Broflovski Shall we try another room? *looks back at Raven* Gregory Langsdale Or monitoring, perhaps. *Sighs and stops following Christophe* Stan Marsh *nods to McCormick.* Alright. Wendy Testaburger Jesus fucking christ... *notices the tv screen* Stan Marsh Looks like clip of our brilliant "TV drama show" to me. Eric Cartman **takes water, Walking slowly and taking baby sips** Fuck, **totally trying to hide that he's tearing up** Did you see what that fucker did to me? Kenny McCormick Red what floor'd they tell you? Stan Marsh *and he nods to the rest, heading back to the elevator* Kyle Broflovski *also gets back on the elevator near Raven* Kenny McCormick *walks back onto the elevator too, patting Eric on the head as he walks by* That's why you gotta learn to keep your hands to yourself, dude Stan Marsh *Raven waits for the others to get back on.* Maybe these codes have to do with floors? *glances to Judas.* You're the math wiz, Judas. Evan Issac *drags his feet with Dylan into the TV room. He notices the clip too* Some fucking repeat. *totally seems bored and heads back into the elevator as well, taking Dylan with him* Red Kerrigan They put a door with a star on it, I couldn't find it. Gregory Langsdale It seems a bit odd that they'd send us to an elevator without telling us where to go. Gregory Langsdale Does the page say anything else? A name or whatnot? Stan Marsh Yea. Well. Honestly, I'm still wondering about that too. Dylan North -slips into a childlike voice, clinging to Evan's arm- If we're all acting like children, I want a juice box. Josh Myers Hmmm. I think I... like this room. *sees a screen with his face on it* Whoa. *smashes it with a fist and sneaks back into the elevator* Red Kerrigan Just a star. *shows it to gregory* Kyle Broflovski Hah, I can certainly try something. *takes a look at the keypad thoughtfully* Wendy Testaburger *wipes one of his tears away with her thumb* You did provoke him... Just focus on breathing. *bites her lip in anger remembering when he choked her* Stan Marsh *peers over to Red's paper* Evan Issac Were we conforming with the rest of them, Fuchsia? I don't think so. *sighs heavily, feeling clausterphobic in the elevator as they all start to get back in* Kyle Broflovski What did the note say? Where are we trying to get to? Eric Cartman **Milking Wendy's sympathy** BUt... he didnt have to attack me so haaard. **Sniffs, glaring at Christophe and Kyle angrily** Christophe DeLorn *since there's no imminent danger, goes back to the elevator to try and see what Kyle's doing* Dylan North -continues to pout.- Stan Marsh Well there's a keypad. Stan Marsh Let's just try hitting in 1. Josh Myers *hands Dylan a juicebox that he pick-pocketed from Red's bag* Kyle Broflovski *grins* My thoughts exactly, dude. Wendy Testaburger *rolls her eyes* You've done the same to me, or have you forgotten? Stan Marsh Not that I'm exactly ecstatic on meeting "the boss". Kenny McCormick *leans over and mashes in the button for 1* Come on, big money Stan Marsh *flashes a raised brow to Kenny* Dylan North -grins- Fuck yes. Juice box. Eric Cartman **Leans against the elevator, tapping his finger to his chin** Mmmmmm nope! **Coughs again and pats Wendy's back** But you HAVE admited to some kinky ass dreams... Kenny McCormick *shrugs at Stan, grinning* Evan Issac You fags must really want to die. *extremely pessimistic about what's to come. He glances at Josh questionably, but he doesn't deny Dylan his juice box* *The doors close and they zip straight up for nearly a minute, finally stoping and opening to show a very large control room, more TVs, and even more goddamn slime aliens. On one wall is a big sign that reads "UPSTAIRS"* Stan Marsh *sort of glances to the others, eyes narrowed.* Stan Marsh Myers, Testaburger. Stan Marsh You're on. Red Kerrigan *looks at Wendy* Dylan North -just kind of sipping from the juice box, entirely content- Wendy Testaburger *cheeks turn red, she glares at him* God, fuck YOU! Remind me to never help you again. *she punches his shoulder and joins everyone else* Josh Myers *smirks and gives Evan a very "haha loser" kind of look. Steps in front of the others* *Below that is a larger sign that reads: http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/gothic_hamlet/687710/356600/356600_original.png. Also waiting for them in front of the doors is this motherfucker: http://ggcontent.divinecaroline.com/images/photo/image/05/06/83/photo/50683/e_slide/taco_man.jpg* Eric Cartman OW! What? **Investigates the room, trying to think of something in case something goes terribly wrong, and then gets an idea.** Stan Marsh ....Wait a second. Stan Marsh Judas. Stan Marsh That faggy graph post you made on that message. Taco Man *looks over at the kids in the elevator* THERE they are!!! Stan Marsh Oh my god. Red Kerrigan ..........what the hell. Stan Marsh Jesus fuck - no Stan Marsh No Dylan North .... -drops his juice box.- Kyle Broflovski The fuck. Wendy Testaburger I have no idea if this is good or bad. Stan Marsh No fuck this that can't be real Red Kerrigan ...Who are you? Stan Marsh *staring at Taco alien* Gregory Langsdale What. *Turns to stare at Raven* What exactly is 'Fognl'? Stan Marsh He's--jesus fuck. Josh Myers *holds out his palm to shake hands with the Taco fella* Taco Man *waves them all into the room* Come on in, kids, that's bad for the elevator. I am Najix, I run this production! Evan Issac *stays as far back in the elevator as possible, not really wanting to see this progress* Eric Cartman **Sees the tacoman** Oh my god. We're in heaven guys! HUMAN SIZED TACOS! **Hurriedly gets out of elevator** Stan Marsh That--*looks wildly to Kenny and Cartman to be sure he's not insane here* Gregory Langsdale Oh my God. Cartman. *Grabs the back of his collar and pulls him back* Wendy Testaburger YOU. You're the one who kidnapped up? Christophe DeLorn *grabs onto Gregory, staring silently* Kenny McCormick *just shrugs again, hands in pockets* Tacos, okay. Stan Marsh No I mean - Stan Marsh Fuck Kyle Broflovski No! Cartman, don't you remember!? *looks at Raven and nods* Holy shit dude. Najix Now, now, now, nobody's been kidnapped. Wendy Testaburger Except for all of us. Red Kerrigan Wendy, am I missing something? What's going on here...*whispers* Stan Marsh Judas -- *waves at Kyle, relieved somewhat on not being the only one to remember this shit* Josh Myers Excuse me, sir, but we would all like an explanation. Wendy Testaburger You know, taken against our will? Kidnapped. Stan Marsh *gestures Najix No, I can assure you our production team is 100% legal and aboveground Kyle Broflovski If this guy shits ice cream any second now, I am SO done with this place. *shaking his head* Eric Cartman **Peers over to Kyle, trying to Wriggle out of Gregory's grasp** What?! Remember what? All I know is I want that thing in my MOUTH. Red Kerrigan It might be legal in your universe, but in my world it's not. Wendy Testaburger *whispers to Red* I have no idea, I've never seen him before. Stan Marsh Thank you Najix This isn't Nickelcartoondisneodean and their slave labor Najix *mutters something about The Mouse* Stan Marsh Fatass - that - Stan Marsh you're...ass contraption satellite. Stan Marsh *gestures to Cartman now, still on certain disbelief* Najix *poos a little ice cream poo, casually* Dylan North is anyone else entirely lost. Stan Marsh *looks to taco man* Jesus fuck. Wendy Testaburger No. Gregory Langsdale *Stares at the ice cream, just completely shocked* Eric Cartman **Trying to piece everythinfg together, and then watches the thing poop ice cream** Oh... OH! **slaps hand on his head** This makes sense now. Evan Issac This is just fucking... *doesn't even know what to say* Stan Marsh Ok, Ok. Ok. Just. You remember us? *gestures to Cartman, Kyle and Kenny,* Wendy Testaburger You.... did not just shit ice cream. Red Kerrigan I think it did Wendy. Stan Marsh Yea, yea. Yea he did. Wendy Testaburger I'm out. Stan Marsh That's because of us. Najix Anyway, you all don't have to huddle up there on the elevator, come in and meet the team! Dylan North Why the fuck is there a taco shitting ice cream. Eric Cartman **beats chest** That design, is thanks to me by the way. **Winks at Wendy** Stan Marsh *does so, but still looking way too much like this is ridiculous* Red Kerrigan No, I.......come on Wendy. *tugs at her hand as she walks out of the elevator and towards the taco* Josh Myers *stands back with a finger to his chin, taking it all in* Kenny McCormick Cuz Eric's got a dumbass imaginaton Kyle Broflovski *shaking his head in complete and utter disbelief* Various aliens in the room at the TVs *Sort of wave and hollar* Wendy Testaburger *flips off Cartman, still mad* Christophe DeLorn *drags Gregory out of the elevator with him and into the room* Evan Issac Because life is only pain and my head is going to fucking explode, Fuchsia. *totally monotone despite the words* Wendy Testaburger *follows Red, looking around in disgust* Dylan North -tugs Evan and Josh closer to him, completely terrified to fucking move- Red Kerrigan *looks around, and then frowns at the pleasant aliens greeting them* Stan Marsh Jesus. Stan Marsh *looking at other aliens, disturbed.* Eric Cartman **Walks into the Studios** HEY HEY! Peeps! Finally I find you guys. **Points to his ass** I wanted to see if one of you could fix the satellite? It'd been acting up in here. Gregory Langsdale All right. So. *Frowns slowly* This is 'upstairs' then? You're Headquarters? Najix *waving them around the studio area* We here at Fogel started twenty billion years ago with one philosophy, the be-- *stops, looking at Ricky* Kyle Broflovski What the hell is he doing. *watching Cartman and asking anyone in the general vicinity* A slime monster *FLIPS THE FRIG OUT, waving and jumping around before running over and giving everyone brofistbumps* Wendy Testaburger *shrugs at Kyle* I never know. A slime monster *Everyone gets a brofistbump from each of his many arms* Eric Cartman **Fist bumps, acting all natural** Red Kerrigan *gives a brofist bump, narrowing her eyes* Stan Marsh *very preturbed but fist bumps awkwardly, looking at the alien* Dylan North -continues to hide behind josh and evan- Kyle Broflovski *fistbump-of-confusion from Kyle* Stan Marsh Uh....right. Stan Marsh Let me get this straight. Evan Issac *looks to Dylan* We don't have anything to lose.We've already lost everything. It doesn't matter if we die. *begrudingly gets out of the elevator and follows after the conformist sheep to the studio area* Kenny McCormick *enthusiastic fistbumps all around* Josh Myers *uses Dylan's shoulder as an arm rest and stares at everything going on smugly* Stan Marsh So this entire TV show. Is run by you fucks again. Josh Myers I knew it all along. A slime monster *Backs off a minute before pushing a button and turning into Ricky Ricardo* Oh man, hey - hey! Hey, guys! Hey! Eric Cartman **Mouth opens** Oh... so THAT'S what happened! Christophe DeLorn Oh, fuck, not zis fucking bitch again, fucking 'ell. Stan Marsh So....so. All the guards are aliens? Stan Marsh And we were kidnapped for this show. Wendy Testaburger *pretty much explodes, throwing her hands up* HOLD UP. EVERYONE JUST STOP FOR A SECOND. Kyle Broflovski *is just...bewildered into silence, watching everything going on and feeling like he's dreaming* Kenny McCormick Oh shit dude did I fuck an alien?? Dylan North -quietly steps out of the elevator and collapses against the wall, tugging at his hair- Stan Marsh *looks over, furrowing a brow, in Wendy's direction* Kyle Broflovski *glances at Wendy* Evan Issac *rolls his eyes* You all care too much about this noise. *helps Dylan up* Stan Marsh *furrowing his brows Dylan North don't. touch me. Ricky Ricardo Uhhhhhh most of them! We've got a few talented earth actors trying to work their way up like man, you know that guy at the tanning booth; he's the best! Stan Marsh .....Ok. Stan Marsh So.... Eric Cartman **Laughs at kenny** OH man, you TOTALLY have some weird Alien STD. Stan Marsh You take us from other realities. Stan Marsh And....make a TV show. Stan Marsh With us as the cast. Najix *just sighs* I was getting there before everyone started interrupting?? Ricky Ricardo *Does a few moves before highfiving Najix* Hey, where's S-Wow at? Since you guys are off-set now we can break character! Oh man we should go to a cyberbar too; you guys ever been to a cyberbar? Wendy Testaburger LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. You took us from our worlds to be on a show, *points to cartman/kenny/stan/kyle* They've seen you before, and what the HELL does saddam hussein have to do with this! *is breathing heavy, looking crazed* Stan Marsh *glances, annoyed* Well. Sorry. Eric Cartman **Hushes Stan up** Don't mind him! We're just here for the Butt Repair! We know nothing! Najix Saddam was just a useful tool Stan Marsh Fatass, shut up. Stan Marsh Ok. Alright. Red Kerrigan *stares at Wendy, and then looks back at Ricky with a dumbfounded expression* .......I really want to go home. Stan Marsh Testaburger. Stan Marsh Calm down. Najix Now as I was saying, at Fogel we have one philosophy: the best universal television isn't scripted, it's real. Najix We've done reality planets Wendy Testaburger Don't tell me to calm down Stan! Stan Marsh Yea, I remember. Josh Myers Is he the designated ruler of the world that we are hovering over, however? Or is Saddam a pawn? Dylan North -curls up on the ground, just sort of rocking back and forth, don't mind him.- Najix We've done reality Galaxies Najix But no one's ever done a reality Universe Stan Marsh Sounds like he's a pawn, Myers. Eric Cartman **nodds, taking in everything the Alien guys say** Stan Marsh A....sorry. A reality universe? Najix All it took was an Earth ripe for the picking Evan Issac *gives up on trying to get Dylan to stand and listens to Najix since there is nothing else to do* Ricky Ricardo Aw.... hey, now, shoosh shoooosh, little lady. *Paps Red's face ever so gently* You're with the best in the biz! You guys are famous now - got your whole lives ahead of you being big time stars! Najix One power hungry leader willing to let us set up studio Josh Myers I see... Clever. Very clever. Najix And, of course, our actors *waves hands at them all* Red Kerrigan .....I don't want fame, I want to go home. Stan Marsh Red, shut up and let them talk. *in a low voice* Dylan North I'm going to kill myself. Kyle Broflovski *hisses* Everybody hush! *has also been listening very closely* Eric Cartman Exactly! **Throws hands up in the air** We should do some promotion back on our home planets! NOw how do we get back there again? I want to help with promotion for this as MUCH as possible! Najix Brilliant work, by the way. Of course we had some slight adjustments, but anytime you get a cast together there'll be kinks to work out Stan Marsh Slight adjustments? You mean that guard that died? Evan Issac *looks at Dylan* They'll just get another one of you. I thought you wanted to ditch this scene with me. Not leave on your own. Kyle Broflovski What slight adjustments...? Stan Marsh *ignoring Cartman* Stan Marsh And....well, I guess me would be one. Josh Myers *shoosh paps Dylan and pats his face* Shh. Focus on taking it all in! Wow, this is exciting. Dylan North -hisses softly- Evan, I swear to god, if I'm having a mental break down and you're trying to guilt trip me- -stares at Josh- .... Ricky Ricardo Oh, I didn't die! *Beams* Man that's awesome you guys think I did... I guess that's all because of my... phenominalllll actinnnnggg skilllssss! Stan Marsh What-- Stan Marsh But. Hold on, that ghost. Najix *leans over to whisper to a slime monster about what ghost??* Josh Myers *smiles with gritting teeth, holding back a bit of furious rage for not figuring it out sooner* Evan Issac *just sighs, not having the ambition to fight Dylan about this now* Whatever. Eric Cartman **Annoyed that his question didn't get through and just crosses his arms in front of his chest, angry that everyone HAS FORGOTTEN why they were even THERE** Stan Marsh That whole fucking speak to the dead bs we went through. Najix *nodding at the alien before straightening up* Slime monster back in the corner *Starts looking really bashfull* Najix Seems like some of the sound crew decided to play a little prank Stan Marsh *pinches nose* Right. Dylan North -slams his head against the ground- Stan Marsh *takes breath* Well. You took us from our realities for this show... Stan Marsh How do we get back. Najix *claps his hands together briskly* Now who said anything about going back Ricky Ricardo *Sounding not a little bit like Calculon* That's right, HQ just beamed me back up to upstairs - poof! - and then I'm back as a new character! I'm contracted out for two galglons. Dylan North ... Evan Issac *takes a fleeting glance at Dylan before focusing on Raven* you really care about going back? Dylan North -snorts and bursts into laughter- Red Kerrigan ............we're not going back? Stan Marsh Well. I guess I did. Wendy Testaburger *knots her hands in her hair, looking like she's a second away from a panic attack* Najix We have at least another two seasons on contract! Stan Marsh Right... Wendy Testaburger No. Stan Marsh and after the seasons are over? Dylan North -coughs and continues to laugh- Kyle Broflovski /We/ said anything about going back. NONE of us want to be here, really. Wendy Testaburger But we KNOW what's going on know. Stan Marsh *still looking rather pointedly at the aliens* Najix You all just won a Demmi *says this as though it's the most prestigious thing ever* Wendy Testaburger **now Gregory Langsdale *Frowns* And how long is a season exactly? *Sidesteps over to Wendy as well, looking at her in concern* Stan Marsh Judas, it's not like they don't know that. Najix This show's our top grosser right now across all demographics. Two seasons is, I assure you, a technicality Eric Cartman Awesome! **Feigning excitement** I know my folks back home would LOVE hearing about this, as would everyone else! They'd TOTALLY BUY All the merchandise and stufff! ** I just need to zip back there real quick! **Glances around** So where are the portals? Stan Marsh *actually grateful someone else is asking questions as well, nodding to Gregory* Wendy Testaburger *looks to Gregory* I can't do this. I can't do this. Evan Issac What constitutes as a season to fucking aliens? *looks at Dylan, under the impression the other might be having some kind of mental break down* Christophe DeLorn *can't process the fact that there's fucking aliens, and pulls out another cigarette* So now zat we know about zis, now what? I am not an actor, I can't do zat bullshit. Josh Myers A Demmi? Really? And we weren't told sooner? Stan Marsh *sighs.* Does it matter? Look, after the seasons are over - do we what. Go back home? Dylan North -begins to tug at his hair, the laughter beginning to turn entirely too insane. He coughs harshly and takes a deep breath, followed by a sob- Red Kerrigan ........too much talking....*sits down and covers her ears, gazing blankly at the floor, still vaguely listening* Najix Now, obviously, we were hoping to stage you kids off world-- I know, I know, I wanted to tell you but the execs back home said no, it would be pandering -- at the end of this season, but no worries, we have the next plot all lined up Stan Marsh Actually, Churchill's right, just how long is a season. Wendy Testaburger ...What's the next plot. Najix *poos a little more ice cream* A season is usually about 8 earth years Stan Marsh Oh great. Kyle Broflovski *listening quietly again, focused only on Najix* Wendy Testaburger Eight... YEARS. Najix But this year is a leap year so that's 11 Gregory Langsdale *Leans over and whispers to Wendy* This might be our only chance to determine how to leave or where we can go. We - *Pauses* Wait, /what./ Najix Which, let me tell you, was quite a pitch to the network Josh Myers *picks up Dylan and sets him in the elevator to calm down* Stan Marsh Alright. Stan Marsh How about this. Stan Marsh What happens if we don't participate Stan Marsh Be as boring as possible. Stan Marsh No drama, nothing. Stan Marsh You lose ratings, then what. Gregory Langsdale Alternatively, what if we simply quit. *Frowns* I mean technically we didn't sign a contract; surely you have labor laws in this god-forsaken place. Dylan North -curls up against the side of the elevator, deep breaths to calm down- Najix *looks at Stan like he's stupid then around to everyone else* Do I really need to point out the irony of what Mr. Marsh is asking Stan Marsh I wasn't trying to avoid drama before. Wendy Testaburger Actually, yes. *glares* Kyle Broflovski *nods* Josh Myers I am more interested in how we can make a compromise to knock the walls down. The lack of freedom is very similar to having an infuriating rash. Stan Marsh Churchill, technically, earth itself is a reality tv show. *throws the comment offhand to the other, glancing his way* Christophe DeLorn *since he's getting ignored, just goes up and grabs Gregory's hand, listening to the conversation* Wendy Testaburger Because we won't participate. Evan Issac You conformist assholes couldn't leave each other alone if you tried. *stays outside for now, even though Dylan was taken to the elevator* Eric Cartman **Laughs at everyone** God, you guys don't know ANYTHING. **Chumming up with the aliens** Such NOOBS, right? Stan Marsh You want to bet? Stan Marsh We all want home. Najix *heavy sigh* Then we will, obviously, do some cast adjustments as necessary. As Mr. Marsh has already shown Dylan North No, we don't. Stan Marsh So basically. Stan Marsh We get the ratings down. Stan Marsh We get to go home. Stan Marsh Some new sorry saps take our places. Eric Cartman **Growls at stan** Or KILLED. Kyle Broflovski How far into the first season are we now? Evan Issac Yeah, killed sounds more likely. Dylan North I'm not going home.. -muttering to himself now- Gregory Langsdale *Squeezes Christophe's hand, while still keeping his other hand on Wendy's shoulder* Stan Marsh *looking at alien, still waiting an answer* Stan Marsh *and just ignoring Cartman and others* Josh Myers No! We will be brainwashed in the same way that you were, Marsh, and have our personalities erased and replaced. Najix *more heavy sighing* If necessary what we would do is boot a new copy of a more interesting personality into the current actor Stan Marsh ......What? Najix *winning smile* Mix it up, stir the drama pot, if you will Eric Cartman **Nods** Yeah, Stan definitely needs a new brain enema. Evan Issac So, is sunshine's old personality on a flash drive somewhere? *sardonic* Stan Marsh *shoots a dark look at Cartman* Josh Myers *winning smile as well* Excellent idea, I believe, Mr. Najix. Ricky Ricardo *Looks completely scandalized* Why would you ever want Total Extreme Drama Town Survivor to end!? This is the best thing that's ever happened to anyone here! Najix Please, flash technology is ancient history Kyle Broflovski *is upset at having to redetermine his entire life over the course of five minutes, says again angrily* How long has it been in earth years since we've been here? Stan Marsh *seeming somewhat pale, looking back to Najix, darkly.* Evan Issac *shrugs* I'm stuck in a time warp. Ricky Ricardo *Stares blankly* You mean how long's the show been o nthe air? Eric Cartman **Interested in Kyle's question** Eric Cartman He means, how long has it been back on our earths since the show aired? Najix *looks confused* Why does that matter? Stan Marsh Because....we have people back at home. Dylan North -sits up, carefully crawling back out of the elevator. He stares at Najix and growls- Ricky Ricardo *Stares at Najax and shrugs* Wendy Testaburger *asks desperately* Please, just tell us? Evan Issac Curiosity. Kyle Broflovski It does. Kyle Broflovski It just does. Eric Cartman **Mulls a convincing answer over** Time Efficiency? Red Kerrigan *looks up hopefully, hearing mention of time references* Evan Issac *rolls his eyes at how desperate everyone is* Najix Well, I guess if you picked some kind of baseline, you could count and find the difference, but it doens't really matter considering the separate timelines, and you'd have to get the technical boys in on it, and the whole question really just doesn't much matter in the scheme of things Eric Cartman **Clenches hands in fists** Kyle Broflovski *growls* Stan Marsh Does....that mean. Stan Marsh We could basically go back to the time we left, technically? Ricky Ricardo That's too much science mumbo-jumbo for us actor, types, huh? Huh huh huh? *Slides up and slings one arm around Myers and one around Christophe* Stan Marsh If you can pull out of time and space. Najix *more winning smiles* That's really not how it works Stan Marsh Theoretically. Dylan North ... Stan Marsh *looking somewhat tired.* Christophe DeLorn *stiffens up* Ouai... Evan Issac It's irrelevant. We're stuck here. There's no escape. It doesn't matter how much we fucking learn. Dylan North -collapses onto the floor again- I'm so fucking done. Kyle Broflovski Evan, shut the hell up!! Kyle Broflovski *sounding very erratic at this point, on the verge of angry tears* Josh Myers *grabs Ricky's arm and pulls him over his shoulder, tossing him onto the ground* Woo! Gregory Langsdale *Sighs* All right, to the point. What he said; is there any device on this ship that can send us home? Stan Marsh *sparks up on annoyed and agrivated all over again at Myers's shenanigans* Evan Issac Cry all you want, Judas. Wendy Testaburger God, Evan. Give it a rest. Najix *smile frozen as he looks at Gregory* I'm afraid I don't understand the question Dylan North Why the fuck do you assholes want to go home?! Ricky Ricardo Ho HO! *Pulls Myers down along with him and rolls around on the floor* Someone take a picture and send it to Big Red Giant! Eric Cartman **places a hand on Kyle's shoulder** Don't worry. **leans into his ear** I have a plan now. Evan Issac *Looks at Wendy* When aren't you on the rag? Go be a lesbian in the corner with firecrotch. Stan Marsh Well, let's rephrase: Stan Marsh That shit your scientists pulled us here with. Kyle Broflovski *perks up, ignoring Evan* Good. *glaring at everything. smh* Stan Marsh Where the hell is it. Kenny McCormick *obligingly takes a picture with his phone* Josh Myers *rolls and handcuffs Ricky with toilet paper and sits on him comfortably* You should invest in a stunt double, sir. Wendy Testaburger *flips off Evan, too emotionally exhausted to respond properly* Najix All that technology is on Planet Fognl Another alien *Snaps a bunch of pictures of Josh and Ricky* Eric Cartman The... **blinks Twice** home of the Joozians. Dylan North -raises his hand in a desperate attempt to get someone to pay attention to him.- Stan Marsh *looks even more tired.* Right...great. Red Kerrigan So where's...the spaceships... Evan Issac *takes Dylan's hand and makes a half-assed attempt at pulling him to his feet* Dylan North -stands- I have a fucking question, god damnit. Najix Yes? Ricky Ricardo Ooh ooh I have a ship. It's a fixie! Dylan North Why the fuck does anyone want to go home. -looks towards the others- Explain this to me because apparently I don't get it. Stan Marsh Dylan. Stan Marsh You can whine about how much you love it here later. Eric Cartman We shouldn't stay here for long. The more we know the more they'll be pushed to cancel the show. **Tugs Kyle back to the elevator** We should leave, we know enough now to get home. Evan Issac The conformists had fairy tale lives there. Gregory Langsdale *Blinks* Because we have lives there and individuals we care about? Najix ......Riiight. Well, if that's all, I have to say as enjoyable as this's been, we really ahve a show to run Stan Marsh *nods to Gregory, annoyed* Josh Myers Mr. Najix, if I might ask, is there any way for, oh, say, a guard to become a member of your party up here? Even as an intern. I'm sure it would be thrilling to learn all about your culture and the setup here, etcetera. Najix Since the cat's out of the bag, so to speak, we'll be doing some recap episodes for the rest of the season and just start taping for next Red Kerrigan *stares at Cartman, then climbs to her feet and walks over to the elevator after him* Kyle Broflovski *nods, agreeing with Cartman even though he has no idea how they know enough to get home now* Yeah, guys. I've heard enough. Let's go. Dylan North Also, for the record, I never said I love it here. Najix We'll be in touch about any special projects, assignments *glances at Josh*, ecetera Stan Marsh One last thing. Stan Marsh What did you. *pauses* Actually mean. Stan Marsh About changing personalities. Red Kerrigan *gets over to the elevator and attempts to hug Kyle* Ricky Ricardo *To Josh* Oh yeah, hey, that's a great idea! I'll put a word in with the security team. *Tries to high-five Myers before leaning in to whisper* You know Yates /really/ isn't in charge of that stuff right? Man's a GENIUS. He's won like three Whozzies. Kyle Broflovski *pulls her into a hug, more glad for it than he thought he would be* Evan Issac *just doesn't care and follows after Cartman, Red, and Kyle, tugging Dylan's hand* It means your something they can program, Raven. Your whole life's probably a lie. Eric Cartman **Glares at Red, weirded out by her behavior, and just grunts in jealousy. Temporary forgoing his Kyle plan** Christophe DeLorn *snaps* No one gives a fuck, Stan. Zey fuck wiz your 'ead, end of fucking story. Let's go. We know enough now and can continue being used for ze world's damn entertainment. Najix *waves Stan away dismissively* I'm sure someone downstairs can explain. Now, I really do have to ask you kids to leave, I have a converence call in about ten minutes Red Kerrigan *buries her face in Kyle's shoulder as she hugs him, muttering* I just want to go home....... Wendy Testaburger *still stands there, looking blank* Dylan North -sort of sighs, clinging to Evan. Totally doen.- Stan Marsh *stands there a second.* Honestly, I was just curious. Do you reprogram people's lives? Josh Myers *twiddles his fingers near his ear like a phone* Call me, maybe. I can be of use to the gellas up here. *looks down at Ricky* Oh? Is that so? Well, considering his status compared to the "everyone upstairs" title, I had a feeling he was as lowly as can be. Najix See you later, kids! Or will I? *chuckles to himself and leaves out the back door* Stan Marsh *looks stiffly as Najix turns.* fuck. Kyle Broflovski S'okay dude, *he murmurs, even though he doesn't feel like it is* We know where we are now. We'll explain everything we know to you guys who don't when we get back... *patting her lower back gently* Ricky Ricardo *Bounces along with them as everyone piles into the elevator* Oh, you mean the B-Room! Yeah, that place is crazy. *Makes a circular gesture near his head* Okay, uh, you want to push 1951 and then say hi to Susan for me! Evan Issac *rolls his eyes at the ominous comment from Najix, totally expecting the worst to happen soon enough since life is only pain* Kenny McCormick *lets out a long breath and shrugs again, walking into the elevator* Man. Stan Marsh Right. *stays in place, still staring after where Najix left off to.* Ricky Ricardo Seriously guys, you, me, and a cyberbar. Total wingnuts. Total killer. Oh, and S-Wow too. But yeah, uh, I hear we've got some /super specials/ coming up, so we'll have tons of fun. *hugs thumbs up before waving at them all again* Kyle Broflovski *mumbling to himself now* Fucking aliens...fucking....Joozians and Marklar.... *grumble grumble* Kenny McCormick I need a drink. Dylan North Agreed. Christophe DeLorn Seconded. Kyle Broflovski *nods* Red Kerrigan *lets go of Kyle, still leaning slightly on him* Gregory Langsdale We all need a drink. Five drinks preferably. *Grabs onto Christophe's arm compulsively* Stan Marsh *eventually just turns, after toying on the very real idea of just attempting a mass violence spree, heading back into the elevator* Evan Issac I'll go with the herd mentality for once. Christophe DeLorn *wraps his arm aroung Gregory's waist* Fucking 'ell. Dylan North -takes hold of Evan's shirt, staring up at him- Hey. Josh Myers *honestly doesn't want to leave* Wendy Testaburger *walks after stan, gets into the elevator. She just slides down to the floor, and puts her head in her hands* Josh Myers *curious as to why so many of the others have long faces* Evan Issac Hm? *meets Dylan's eyes* Drinking would quiet all this noise. Stan Marsh *looks back up to Myers, still looking irritated and gruff* Dylan North -purses his lips a bit and motions towards them- Stan Marsh You coming, Hannibal? *tired, over to where Myers is standing* Evan Issac *picks the little one up and meets Dylan's lips briefly before setting him back down* Red Kerrigan *moves away from Kyle to sit next to Wendy, putting an arm around her as she waits for someone to hit the button* Josh Myers *smiles and waves* Kyle Broflovski It'll be okay, Wendy.. *gently pulls away from Red, making sure she could stand on her own first, and then hunches down next to Wendy rubs her back a bit as well* Dylan North -sighs, nuzzling him- Kenny McCormick All aboard elevator train, next stop alcoholism. *rubs a hand over his face* But hey, space is a fun time, right? Stan Marsh *narrows his eyes slightly at Josh* Christophe DeLorn Super fun. *rolls eyes* Evan Issac *idly pets Dylan's hair* Shut the fuck up, McCormick. Josh Myers *blows them all fake retarded kisses as the door begins to close* So long, everyone. You don't know what you are missing out on! Kenny McCormick *actually shuts the fuck up for once* Stan Marsh What-- Stan Marsh *watches as Josh dissappears behind elevator.* Stan Marsh *elevator doors Wendy Testaburger *mumbles, still not looking up* No. It's not okay. Because we're all going be stuck here; they will never let us leave. Gregory Langsdale *Sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose* Why am I not surprised. *Jabs button 1951 and sends them all down to the transporter room* Kyle Broflovski *ssh's Wendy and continues to pat her back* Stan Marsh *for once, actually silent* Dylan North evan, you and i are getting a shit ton of rum and curling up in bed for three days, okay? Red Kerrigan Well.......at least we have each other. *Red mutters with a hint of sarcasm, but sort of sounds genuine* Eric Cartman **Still looking all pissed** Evan Issac Yeah, Fuchsia. I wouldn't have it any other way. Stan Marsh ....I'm too tired for this. Dylan North -nods, nuzzling him- Stan Marsh ....sometime. *presses fingers to bridge of nose* Soon. We need to have a meeting. Evan Issac Then go kill yourself, Raven. We'll see what happens to you next. Eric Cartman Hah! I concur. **Looks a little happier, brings out phone** Stan Marsh Maybe sans Issac. *sarcastic and dark* Stan Marsh Wouldn't you lose your little Sunshine for good, then? *also shoots, glancing back to the other boy.* Kyle Broflovski *glares at Evan, Cartman, and Raven all three but doesn't otherwise say anything* Gregory Langsdale *Leaves the elevator and silently pulls Christophe over to the transporter* Dylan North Everybody, shut the fuck up. Evan Issac I don't care about your faggy meetings. Play the atypical hero all you want. *narrows his eyes at Raven* Fag. Kyle Broflovski *gets a text and texts back* Stan Marsh *Doesn't bother acknowledging Evan or Dylan, instead dragging his feet back off the elevator again.* Kenny McCormick *trails after Gregory and Christophe* Evan Issac *leaves the elevator with Dylan* Red Kerrigan *follows everyone silently* Gregory Langsdale So. The Sizzler's bar then? Assuming the goths stop arguing amonst themselves for long enough. *Flatly groping around for the transport button* Stan Marsh *nods, tired. Not looking at Gregory* Eric Cartman **grunts his approval, glances to Kyle.** Kyle Broflovski *helps Wendy up* Evan Issac Just get the rum and let's drink in the dorm, Fuchsia. Or I'll drink alone if you want to be with the conformists and wait in bed. Kyle Broflovski Wanna go have a drink, Wendy? It might help you take your mind off of everything. That's my plan, anyway.... *smiles weakly at her* Dylan North I'm going with you. I don't want to leave you right now. Kyle Broflovski *feels his phone buzz, but chooses to ignore it this time* Evan Issac Then we got it figured out. *satisfied, though appears as stoic as ever* Wendy Testaburger *she can't even force a smile* Yeah... That sounds really good, Ky. Wendy Testaburger *whispers* Thanks. Kyle Broflovski No problem. *He nods his thanks to Red for helping out as well* To Sizzler's, then. Stan Marsh *gives a sarcastic finger circle in the air* Eric Cartman **Oddly quiet, focusing on all the events that happened and what he must do. Sends another text, brooding** Gregory Langsdale *Snorts before punching the button with the side of his fist*

[relaxguyooc]

[3rd short] Cartman, Christophe, Gregory, Kenny, Red, Stan, S-wow, Wendy, Ricky Ricardo

Summary: The fourth floor break-in!!  Important log for plot purposes.  Operation: Find upstairs is a go, and the recruits stealth through the administration to try to find it.  This is very long; part I of II.

Takes Place On: Sunday, September 23rd.  Part of Miniplot VI: Break-In.

Gregory Langsdale *Peers over Christophe's shoulder* Are we set then? Christophe DeLorn Oui. *glances over to Cartman* Stan Marsh I thought you said Judas would be here. *somewhat dully* Eric Cartman RIGHT BEHIND THE GENERAL STORE NEXT TO THE MEDICAL CENTER AND HQ: **Stuffing some equiptment into a backpack, carefully checking the stolen camera to make sure all the parts are there.** There we gooo.... that should be perfect. **Debates running diagnostics on his computer before he runs in, but doesn't want the light from the monitor to draw attention to himself. Decides to put on his black hat and black make up.** It's all or nothing now. We're at the point of no return. There's no going back. That portal is /mine/. Kenny McCormick *grins at Stan* Isn't this kinda too much excitement and potential awesome for you, dude? Gregory Langsdale He's changed his mind, but he brought the chips along; hopefully they'll let us up to the higher levels. S-Wow Tittybang Hurry UP, I got my stories to watch afta this *wearing guady jewlery despite the break in* Christophe DeLorn Oui, Gregory and I are taking ze two zat 'e 'as, and Wendy should be able to get you into ze second story. Swow, you are going wiz Cartman's group. Eric Cartman **Glances around, inspecting the area to make sure the coast is clear before darting over to the HQ buiding, hiding in the shadows and being all stealth like.** Stan Marsh Well, if Jersey's on his team then they're sure to succeed. *Still just as flat, glancing at Kenny* Wendy Testaburger So, I'm going to the second story? Stan Marsh *pinches the bridge of his nose at Cartman's antics* Christophe DeLorn Yeah, is zat cool? Zey need a way in. Wendy Testaburger Yeah. Who's coming with me? Christophe DeLorn Cartman is going, and Swow and Raven, I think? And Kenny as well, if you want. Zen if ze coast is clear, we will send a text once you are done down zere, and you can run up to ze fourth floor and 'elp us too. Eric Cartman **Finally gets to everyone else, heaving and out of breath** Guys, seriously... how stupid are you for congregating RIGHT outside the place? How do you know they're not spying on us? Kenny McCormick *sloppily salutes Christophe* Man wherever you say, dude, you two are the boss Kenny McCormick Where you been, fatboy? Wendy Testaburger Sounds good. *looks at Cartman blankly* Red is setting up a distraction. Christophe DeLorn *lights a cigarette* Zey are spying on us. Zere is no way zey do not know we are doing zis, so who ze fuck cares? I was not ze one zat wanted a thousand fucking people to come along. Stan Marsh *he snorts slightly.* Thanks but no thanks. Honestly with Jersey and fatboy, I don't expect their team to get very far. S-Wow Tittybang Oh they ain't spying on us...or lets check *suddenly pulls shirt up and waits for a few moments* ...nah if they were spying, we'd have heard chearing now S-Wow Tittybang *cheering Gregory Langsdale Oh my God, what. *Turns away promptly* Gregory Langsdale *To Wendy* Honestly, we may want to stay together at first - at least until we're certain that these chips work properly. Stan Marsh *just pinches his nose again, looking incredibly annoyed* Kenny McCormick *laughing at Sheila* Nice. Christophe DeLorn *rolls eyes* We will know as soon as we are by ze elevators. Wendy Testaburger *nods to Gregory* Good point. Eric Cartman For god fucking sake. **Smoothes hand over hair** Who the hell invited S-wow and GothTramp? Christophe DeLorn If not zen zere is no way to get up wizzout climbing up ze cables and praying no one takes zem, and I do not think 'alf of you can go about climbing elevator cables. S-Wow Tittybang I'm a helluva distraction. Plus you know getting caught in a good scandal is one of the best ways to jump start a career S-Wow Tittybang And I can't exactly sleep with a senetor in this situation Wendy Testaburger *facepalms* Swow. Please. Eric Cartman **Takes a look at his team, and realizes why Christophe wanted this to be a limited operation** So... awesome. **Crosses arms into his chest** Thankfully I only have two floors to climb... though I've been able to scale more. **Shines his nails smugly** Gregory Langsdale *Stares at him flatly* Really. Kenny McCormick *laughing again* No you haven't, dude. Stan Marsh Sure, fatass. *drawls, still not looking all that impressed* S-Wow Tittybang I can see it, he's so fat he's got his own gravity, he tries to climb and the ground goes up with him Wendy Testaburger *grins at Kenny* Okay, can we just do this. The faster this takes, the less chance of getting caught. Christophe DeLorn Cartman, I am sure you are excellent at climbing, but ze second floor team needs your expertise in deciding which archives are important. We are all just taking ze stairs at first. *rolls his eyes* So let's get going, oui? Kenny McCormick *gives Wendy a thumbs up* Sounds good to me dude Eric Cartman **Shoves Raven out of the way** I have TO climbed over two stories! How the fuck did you think I got into the to floor of the Police Building as the Coon? Fucking imbociles. **Scoffs at Christophe** If you all want to take the EASY way sure. And I have the list of stuff we need to look for so, unless we wanted to hold hands together for a pre-game prayer, I say we get going. Christophe DeLorn *remembering there is still a good possibility that they're on tv, decides to play for some sympathy and turns to Gregory, grabbing his wrist* If anything 'appens in zere, just know zat I love you, oui? Now let's go. Eric Cartman **Immediately looses the hard edge, and just swoons** awwwwwwwwwwwWWWWW! Stan Marsh *just kind of dully looks at Cartman, not exactly giving much response to the shove. He does kind of blatantly look between gregory and christophe though, brow raised* Gregory Langsdale *Promptly turns a vague shade of red and herds Christophe toward the building before flipping Cartman off* Kenny McCormick *snorts in an undigified way at Christophe before following them towards the building* Wendy Testaburger *smiles at christophe, then glances at Cartman and frowns* Stan Marsh Wow. *Just kind of follows after them* Christophe DeLorn *turns around as they go to flip Raven and Cartman off, smirking triumphantly as they walk inside* Eric Cartman **Snaps out of it again, and just shoves his hands in his pockets defensively, following** You guys are all gay. S-Wow Tittybang *follows to the building* Gregory Langsdale Says the person actively has sex with men. *Still trying to ignore the heat across his face as he crosses his arms* Wendy Testaburger *scoffs at Cartman then follows him into the building* Okay so let's check the chips at the elevator Stan Marsh Fatboy's had sex? Kenny McCormick Augh dude that's nasty Wendy Testaburger *blushes and turns away from the group* Stan Marsh Huh. Color me surprised. Christophe DeLorn Shut up, dumbfucks, we need to be quiet. First floor elevator! The ground floor to admin is quiet and dark and the reception desk is empty - most employees have apparently gone home for the day. Next to the elevator itself is a dark panel for swiping. Eric Cartman **Gets flustered and pissed off all at once and just stops on Raven's foot as he passes him on the way to the door** Of course I've fucking had sex! And what the fuck is that supposed to mean, Blondie BubbleButt? Stan Marsh *for Raven's part, he gives no actual reaction to footstomping. Like an apathetic goth badass.* S-Wow Tittybang Wait fatass gets laid? What fuckup would stoop that low? Christophe DeLorn *pinches Cartman* Shut up. *points to the elevators, talking in a low voice* Zat must be ze best way up. Now, be fucking quiet on ze off chance zey don't already know we are 'ere. Kenny McCormick Dude, shush, *hisses at Cartman* S-Wow Tittybang I mean did that bitch weigh a thousand pounds or something? Wendy Testaburger *Wendy walks up to the elevator and waves her forearm in front of the panel. The doors swish open* Christophe DeLorn Zat means you too, S-Wow, fucking 'ell. Eric Cartman **Stands next to Wendy all huffed and offended, trying to make himself appear less of whatever Gregory meant** Wendy Testaburger Okay, so mine works. Try the others. Eric Cartman **mocks Kenny** meh mehhhh Elevator Panel reads: Testaburger, Wendy. Junior Super Star Cadet and Cast Member. Access level 3. Eric Cartman **Reads the Panel, and sees the "Level 3" part, whispers** So you can't get to the fourth floor? Wendy Testaburger *whispers back, clearly annoyed* No. Not many people can. Wendy Testaburger Especially new guards. Stan Marsh *sort of makes Raven more interested in the "B-room" area. Whispering, voice low,* So the chips work. When's this split off happening. S-Wow Tittybang Why do they have to have locks with cards and shit? I remember when people'd have nice simple locks you could bash open Christophe DeLorn *nods fervently at S-Wow* Ouai, fucking 'ell. Kenny McCormick That's probably fucking why, S-Wow Gregory Langsdale Second floor then. *Punches the 2 key* And we'll split off once climbing becomes necessary. For obvious reasons. Wendy Testaburger How do you suppose we get to the fourth floor? Climbing cables? S-Wow Tittybang Yeah well there's more drama kicking down a door Stan Marsh Honestly, I'm pretty sure that would leave maybe three of us, Churchill. Christophe DeLorn We will see if Kyles cards can get us access, and if not zen oui. Christophe DeLorn *stares at Raven* 'Ave you ever climbed an elevator cable? Zey are not like ropes. Elevator BINGS annoyingly loudly and slides open the doors to the second floor. This room is dark as well and looks pretty much the same as last time: an enormous amount of filing cabinets and desks crammed all over the place. One lonely employee is hunched over their desk, typing away* Stan Marsh Thanks for stating the obvious, DeLorn. Eric Cartman SHH! **slaps Raven's mouth, hushed voice** There's someone there! Stan Marsh *glances, annoyed clearly, at Cartman.* Christophe DeLorn *darts over to the employee and thwacks him over the head with his shovel* Wendy Testaburger *looks panicked, doesn't know whether to hide in the shadows or say something. She decides to hide behind the wall that is Cartman* Stan Marsh *pinches his nose again.* Jesus christ. S-Wow Tittybang *reflexivly opens her shirt* Kenny McCormick EMPLOYEE: *jumps up, is D-list celebrity and comedienne KATHY GRIFFIN* Oh my god what?? Gregory Langsdale Shit. Kenny McCormick *falls to the flow when christophe whacks her* Wendy Testaburger If I get caught, I'll get kicked out. Which means no more information. Also, I would probably get in huge trouble for betrayal. Eric Cartman **nodds** Effective. **Brings Wendy around and starts handing out copies of the words they need to find** Okay, start ripping through these cabinets and look for this word in particular. **points to the first one** I think this will lead to some answers. **Eyes shift** Also, if anyone finds the keys to the employee bathroom? I need to... inspect them. Wendy Testaburger It's all panels, once again. *rolls eyes* Can't it wait? Stan Marsh You could also stop talking so they can't hear you. *and for his part, he looks over to Christophe.* Mole, you want to use that shovel to get this elevator door hatch open? Or will I have to give Churchill a boost. Gregory Langsdale ...How exactly do you know they'll lead to answer if you don't know what they say. *Frowns and rummages through some sheets until he finds one in English* This is our 'theme song' apparnetly. God. *Hands it off to the closest person* Kenny McCormick *puzzles down at paper again* Look for some whacked out Korean letters different from the other letters, yeah, that's not hard or shit. Christophe DeLorn *glares at Raven* Fuck you. Go do ze fucking archives and me and Gregory will go up. Gregory Langsdale *Peers back at Raven* Actually, have we tried Kyle's chips yet? Perhaps they work on the upper floors. Wendy Testaburger *takes the paper from Gregory and looks at it with disgust* Is this of much importance.... *sighs, and shoves it into her bag anyway* Stan Marsh *shrugs.* Worth a shot. *ignoring Christophe completely.* Christophe DeLorn *shoves Stan out of the elevator and swipes Kyle's card again* Eric Cartman Don't fucking question me, Gregory! I'm the one who's starting to get this fucking alphabet pieced out! **reads the theme song, and just throws it in the air** Terrible. Let's look for something else. Like background stories or what not, like how they all got us here. Elevator: Jinn, Zindar, NE Ricky Ricardo. Cast member. Level 3 access. *Doors open* Stan Marsh *resisting at shove, shoving back as he places his foot on the opening, eyes dark.* Eric Cartman **whips head around** Did that just say level three too? **crumples up one of the papers** Fuck! Well how are you guys going to get in? Christophe DeLorn *glares at the screen* Damn. D'accord, old fashioned zen. *rams his shovel up into the hatch panel of the elevator roof* Wendy Testaburger *Is fairly familiar with the layout of the cabinets and starts to skim through the files, picking up a few papers with the select word. She crams those into her bag also* Kenny McCormick Guys you don't wanna like.... ride up to three, and then climb? Red Kerrigan *texts Wendy* ...so how is the mission going. Christophe's not answering his texts. S-Wow Tittybang I ain't climbing, I just got my nails did. If I'm ruining this manicure it's punching someone Christophe DeLorn *stares flatly at Kenny* Ouai. Fine. It is more badass zis way zough, hah. Send me and Gregory up, ze rest of you stay 'ere. Wendy Testaburger *texts Red* Fine. Your distraction worked. Red Kerrigan *texts Wendy* Can I join? I'm bored. how fucked are you guys? Stan Marsh *has already brought a pair of gloves suited for the job, raising a brow at Mole* Sorry DeLorn, you aren't going alone. You aren't the only one curious about what's up there. Wendy Testaburger *texts Red* Pretty fucked. I'll come get you... Kenny McCormick Man why not everybody go like, *shrugs vaguely* If this shit's all in Egyptian we're not gonna find shit Christophe DeLorn *glares at Stan* Fucking fine. If you fall to your fucking death I am not coming to save you, bitch. Red Kerrigan *texts Wendy* Really? You sure, Princess? Where you at now? Gregory Langsdale *Steps in and peers up at the cables* I might suggest we head to the third floor, seeing as we have access. Stan Marsh Somehow I'm not that worried. *dully, giving Christophe a dark look* Christophe DeLorn *huffs and goes to slouch against the back wall, sulking and waiting for Gregory to decide what to do since no one listens to his opinions on things anyway bloohoo* Wendy Testaburger *texts Red* Shut up and just be thankful I'm in a good mood. I'm on the second floor. You'll need me to get up here. Gregory Langsdale God. *Pinches the bridge of his nose* Fine. You two climb the hell up to three and the rest of us will take the elevator like sane people. Christophe DeLorn No, we'll take ze damn elevator, as you want. Kenny McCormick Field trip, sweet *cheerful as fuck as he walks back over to the elevator* Just don't like, fucking crush anybody with it elevators are fuckass dangerous shit man Stan Marsh *grins slightly, gaze still rather blank* Honestly, I was waiting for us to go up. Red Kerrigan *texts Wendy* K. I'll be outside in about five. Want a snapple, darling? Gregory Langsdale All right. In then. *Steps inside and holds the door* Wendy Testaburger *texts Red* Ugh. Hurry up. They're going up to the fourth floor. Kenny McCormick *heads in to the elevator too* Gregory Langsdale Wendy? Cartman? Wendy Testaburger *turns to the group* I'm going to get Red. Eric Cartman **Opens a new cabinet, grabbing all the English documents he can find along with the bigger binders full of the buzzwords.** who the fuck are you texting Wendy? I need your help sorting through all this crap! This is only the beginning, there's probably more important shit in the individual offices! Christophe DeLorn *snorts* Cartman can't fucking climb. Gregory Langsdale All right. Be careful then. *Sighs and lets the doors start to close* Stan Marsh no offense McCormick, but are you sure you're capable...? Red Kerrigan *texts Wendy* Outside, where are you Princess? Let down your hair Eric Cartman Ay! Fuck you! Yes I can!**Slams a cabinet** I'll come now and worry about the rest of this on my way back down. **Hurries to the open elevator** Kenny McCormick *winks at Stan for a second before grinning at Wendy* So you just gonna meet us up then? Wendy Testaburger Cartman, get off my ass! I got all the papers you need. Now if you'll excuse me... Wendy Testaburger Yeah, I'll see you guys up there. Be careful. Gregory Langsdale Keep your goddamn voice down. *Glares and shoves him backward toward Christophe before jabbing the 3 button* S-Wow Tittybang Hey, when fatboy falls the noise'll distract the guards S-Wow Tittybang or cause an earthquake S-Wow Tittybang either way Eric Cartman **catches the elevator door before it closes** Like there's anyone else here! *Elevator closes and heads the third floor! To the left is a locked door labeled "B-Room" with the same chickenscratch writing under it. To the right is several rooms full of equipment, and at the end of the hall is Yates' office, also locked. Also right in front of the elevator is a frigging guard in a fashionable suit. Stan Marsh Says the fat jersey bitch. S-Wow Tittybang It ain't fat, it's tits S-Wow Tittybang *grabs them proudly* Christophe DeLorn *shoves to the front of the elevator, shovel at the ready to knock down the guard* Wendy Testaburger *Rides the elevator down to the first floor. She walks calmly out to the front, making sure to stay quiet. She notices Red and smirks at her* Alright. You ready? Guard *Mesmerized by tits momentarily before pulling out his taser and blindly shooting it into the elevator* Eric Cartman **Snorts at Stans Comment** I forgot how funny you can be when you're all pissed off and emo and shit. Eric Cartman **Eyes Christohe** You think they be wearing hardhats by now Eric Cartman - **gets tazed** Christophe DeLorn *steps out and thwacks the guy over the head* Kenny McCormick *jerks back away from Cartman's spazzy body* Gregory Langsdale *Steps over Cartman as well before admiring Christophe's work* Nice. Red Kerrigan *leaning against a tree with her arms crossed* God, it's about time Princess. I didn't get you a snapple, but I snagged this from Gomez. *chucks a sparkly princess hairpin at wendy's chest and walks by her to the doors* Stan Marsh *looks, for his part, actually somewhat startled at fatboy getting tased, taking a side step back from him before staring kind of blankly.* Well...that was expected. S-Wow Tittybang *spits on him* Christophe DeLorn *grins* Merci. *strides over to the B-Room door, trying to figure out the best way to get in* Eric Cartman NOT COOOOL! **Flails around on the floor for a second or two, convulsing and trying to get the prongs off him** Gregory Langsdale *Sighs* For God's sake keep your damn voice down. Again. *Bends over and deftly plucks them off of him* Gregory Langsdale B-Room* Is a solid door with a little window on the top. Inside is a huge platform surrounded by equipment and lights* Stan Marsh *Raven peers out into the dark hallways, following after Christophe and staring,frowning somewhat, at the B-Room* ...What's this. Wendy Testaburger *Rolls her eyes, and catches the hairpin. She pulls her hair back, and clips it in* Thanks. It's almost as if you care. *She smiles, mockingly wiping away a fake tear. She waves her arm in front of the elevator again, and pushes the button for floor 3* Christophe DeLorn J'sais pas. *slams his shovel into the window as hard as he can* Stan Marsh subtle. Christophe DeLorn *shrugs, and does it again until the glass breaks. Reaches inside, feeling for any sort of lock* Red Kerrigan Isn't this a bit obvious? I mean, really. Kenny McCormick Man we're gonna set off an alarm with this shit. Stan Marsh Honestly I doubt Mole cares. Stan Marsh He could apparently take them all with his brute force. *heavy on dull sarcasm* Wendy Testaburger Well, your distraction has got the guards running around. God, they can be such idiots. *the doors swoosh open to the dark hallway* Gregory Langsdale *Grimaces* Point. We need to try to keep it down. Red Kerrigan *whispers* Do you need my arm? It's pretty dark. You're not afraid of this place right Princess? *smiling* Eric Cartman **weakly crawls out of the elevator** GOd.... Fucking... shit that was WEAK! **tries to get up, but he's still pretty much incompacitated** Haaaaalp. Haaaaaaaaalp. Christophe DeLorn Subtlty was gone ze second we let more zan three people in at ze same time. *finds a lock and slides it open, and then opens the door, bowing low to Raven and gesturing him inside* Fuck you. Gregory Langsdale *Prods Christophe in the shoulder and gives him a look* Wendy Testaburger My hero. *looks at her blankly, then notices Cartman* Holy FUCK! Christophe DeLorn *stares back at Gregory.* Quoi, it worked, non? Kenny McCormick *sighs and walks over to haul Cartman up* Dude, man up, yeah? You're fine. Stan Marsh *rolls his eyes but steps inside, readying the knife against his belt* Red Kerrigan *looks at Cartman, startled* What the fuck happened to him. Are we walking into a trap? *The B-Room is lovely and bright! There is a small circular area in the middle of the room that most of the lights and equiment are pointed toward, as well as a dial and several large buttons on the platform near the door* S-Wow Tittybang Fatass got tazed Eric Cartman I'm NOT okay! **tries to sit up** Have you ever been tazed before? It fucking SUCKS! **Takes a deep breath** I mean see? **points to his thigh, where the barbs stuck** right here? they totally punctured the skin and it shocked me SO HARD! **Rubs his leg to soothe it** Do you see it? Kenny? S-Wow Tittybang but his fat insulted him Stan Marsh *Raven stares at the inside blankly, kind of stopping rather suddenly on the spot* Kenny McCormick He's fine, just a little taser, man, no big. *keeping a grip on Cartman's arm to steady him* Totally have dude, yup, that sucks. *nods patiently* Wendy Testaburger *pats Cartman on the back* You're okay. Keep going. S-Wow Tittybang Ooooh, a spotlight! *Heads into the room* Christophe DeLorn *waits til Raven is distracted before walking over to the elevator and punching through the roof. Hauls himself up and out of sight onto the top of it* Eric Cartman **Is satisfied with the Attention** Alright, I think... I think I can manage. **Puffs out chest and pretends to struggle to his feet. He's so heroic guys, seriously** Wendy Testaburger *walks into the B room, making sure Red is behind her and not touching anything* Red Kerrigan *rolls her eyes and then looks around the area, consciously taking a step away from Wendy now that they are around people* Kenny McCormick *pats him on the shoulder once.* dude you're letting Stan get all the explorer points right now Gregory Langsdale *Opens his mouth to reply to Christophe before snapping it shut, watching him go with a sigh. Walks quickly over to the elevator and hisses up through the hole in the top* I'll catch up with you in a moment. Eric Cartman **Follows Wendy, still limping a bit** Nice to see you all healthy and stuff after I totally took one for the team guys. SO KIND of you to help me. **glares at everyone in the B room** Stan Marsh *Raven just kind of walks into the room, still looking at the center on a slight frown without big notice on Christophe's leave* Wendy Testaburger *walks up behind Raven and gently touches his shoulder* You okay? Stan Marsh *jumps slightly, eyes narrowing on Wendy* What--? S-Wow Tittybang *steps into the spotlight* Wendy Testaburger *widens eyes* Sorry. You just looked...lost. Christophe DeLorn *ignores all the dumbass bitches, slings his shovel on his back, and starts to climb up. Working alone is better anyway* Gregory Langsdale She asked if you were all right. *Wanders in as well, frowning at Stan* Out of curiosity, do you remember this room by any chance? S-Wow Tittybang *the dealy in the middle of the room* Eric Cartman **Watches S-wow skeptically** Stan Marsh What--fucking. No I don't remember this room. Red Kerrigan Why are we in here anyways. S-Wow Tittybang Wha- Red Kerrigan There has to be more important rooms Stan Marsh I don't know. This isn't anything worth while. S-Wow Tittybang what's going on S-Wow Tittybang how the hell did I get here Stan Marsh *sounds rather pissed.* Wendy Testaburger *looks at Stan skeptically* S-Wow Tittybang *lights have gotten bright on the thing* Kenny McCormick *calls over to S-Wow* you flashed everybody your tits and came for the drinks, dude! Red Kerrigan *stares at SWOW* Step out of that dumb light. What are you, a moth? S-Wow Tittybang What the hell did I black out again? Gregory Langsdale What - *notices S-Wow on the platform* For God's sake, get off of there. Stan Marsh Ugh, jesus christ are you really that fucking dumb- Wendy Testaburger *covers her grin at Red's comment* Stan Marsh Churchill what the fuck did I say about limiting those who came with us-whatever. S-Wow Tittybang How fucking drunk was I *walks out* or was I sleepwalking S-Wow Tittybang or drunkwalking Red Kerrigan This is what I meant Gregory, you guys have kids tagging along, how the fuck can we get anything done? Can we split up now and actually gather information or what? Eric Cartman **Realizes that S-wow could be in danger, which has dark implications for a certain someones future** S-wow you dumbass! Get out of there! S-Wow Tittybang Hey fuck you! S-Wow Tittybang I may just get back in there! Kenny McCormick *laughs* S-Wow where you going? Christophe DeLorn *is now at the top of the elevator shaft, and balances precariously on the ledge onto the fourth floor. Jams his shovel in the door and pries it open* Stan Marsh Jesus this is fucking ridiculous. *pushes passed Gregory, still clearly pissed, to get out of the room* Red Kerrigan Okay, let's put one idiot per group and split up. Wendy Testaburger *takes deep breaths, trying not to scream at everyone and possibly throw Swow out the window* Please. Red Kerrigan Wendy, let's go. You, me, and...uh...I guess chubby. S-Wow Tittybang Wait what are we even doing here? Gregory Langsdale /God/, fine. *Throws his hands up at the double-onslaught from Raven and Red*. Head back down to the archives then if you're keen on limiting the participants. I'll head upstairs. S-Wow Tittybang Did we walk here after a party or something? S-Wow Tittybang Cuz this is a shitty party room Stan Marsh *the boy's already back at the elevator, waiting annoyed for Gregory due to the height of the open elevator hatch* S-Wow Tittybang Wait what' sgoing on? Red Kerrigan *walks out into the hall, whether Wendy and Eric are following or not* Gregory Langsdale *Parkours the fuck right up through it, leaving Stan behind* S-Wow Tittybang Any a you guys heading where there's more drinks? S-Wow Tittybang Cuz if not I may just wanna go pahty with the guards S-Wow Tittybang they know how to have fun Kenny McCormick *snaps his fingers in S-Wow's face just in case* You take something, dude? Stan Marsh *pinches nose before looking up after Gregory* Christophe DeLorn *hears something below and glances down* 'Urry up, princesse! Kenny McCormick Coke? Eric Cartman **Pissed off that Red thinks she can order him around** You made YOU in charge? This was my plan to begin with, I'm heading off with them! On my way back down I'll see how much you guys have gathered and I'll help bring stuff out. **Follows Gregory to the Elevator, and then realizes he has no way up** God damn it! Red Kerrigan *stares at the elevator line* .......well I did steal some gloves, but they're going to tear right through on that line.. Gregory Langsdale *Shoots Raven a 'come at me bro' sort of look, standing up on the edge of the elevator roof* Yes? Are you all done with your constant bickering, or are we still splitting up? Christophe DeLorn Gregory, get your damn ass up 'ere. Wendy Testaburger No, I'm following you, Gregory. *follows into elevator* Gregory Langsdale *Frowns* I'm not entirely sure if everyone can climb this. S-Wow Tittybang *Winces at kenny* I dunno, kinda losteverything since when I got my nails did earlier today Stan Marsh *despite himself, grins somewhat, still looking annoyed.* Yea, yea. Give me a second. *attempts on doing the same move Gregory did all expert, but apparently needs some serious practice. He only just gets the ledge of the open hatch, arming on forcing himself up as well.* S-Wow Tittybang Don't think I took anything Christophe DeLorn Well, zat's zeir damn fucking problem. Get up 'ere and 'elp me and zen we can get zem up. Eric Cartman **Glances up at Gregory, holding Wendy back** Splitting up is fine! Just don't hog the fucking portal to yourself! Or throw something down if you find a rope! Gregory Langsdale *Sighs and bends down to haul Stan the rest of the way up* Christophe DeLorn *Growls down at him* Don't fucking 'elp zat bitch, come ze fuck on. Red Kerrigan *slips on a pair of leather gloves, admiring them a moment before she follows Stan up, slipping a few times before she reaches the top and gets out* Fuck I'm out of shape... Kenny McCormick *shrugs* Welp we're all going up to the forth floor or shit dude fuck if I know you need to go lay down or whatever if you're having baby blackouts? Stan Marsh *this was honestly a good thing for his scrabling. He glances up, still on annoyed, but ends up at least on top of the thing.* ....Anyone else coming up? McCormick? *he doesn't entirely look at Gregory at this point >:|* Wendy Testaburger *turns to Cartman, who was holding her back. She smiles at him* You sure you can do this? S-Wow Tittybang Baby blackouts is a thing?That happens when you're pregnant?! *suddenly looks actually scared* Wendy Testaburger *calls up to Red* Throw me your gloves! Christophe DeLorn *gets impatient, flips Gregory off, and rams his way out of the elevator doors, letting them close behind him. Holds his shovel at the ready once he's out* Kenny McCormick Uhh... *shrugs again, a little helplessly* Gregory Langsdale We can attempt to send the elevator down to anyone who can't climb. *Begins to haul himself upward* Stan Marsh Honestly, we shouldn't have more than a handful of people doing this. Not that I'm exactly enlightened on what we're going to find up there. *kind of nods, for his part, grudgingly on Gregory's point.* Eric Cartman We still need to grab more documents from the second floor, but I'm really fucking curious to see whats up there. **grabs his bag, wrapping his hands with cloth towels, but then hears Gregory's suggestion** Oh, well THANK you your holy parkourness! Red Kerrigan *takes off her gloves and holds them out* Look up Princess, don't hurt yourself *drops the gloves down the shaft* Gregory Langsdale *Can't spare the hand to flip Cartman off so instead calls a simple 'fuck you' down at him before following Christophe out through the elevator doors, crouching low* S-Wow Tittybang *pats her stomach and looks more scared* fuckshit Eric Cartman **Waiting patiently for the elevator, and hears Red call Wendy 'Princess' for the first time** Wait, what did you call her? Wendy Testaburger *grabs the gloves and puts them on, then proceeds to climb the line. It's tough and tires her out so much that she has difficulty pulling herself up to the top* Red Kerrigan *mutters 'dumbshit Kenny McCormick Either way dude no like, rope climging and shit right just ride the elevator Stan Marsh *sighs and just follows after, making sure his gloves get a firm grip, annoyed. He'd only done something similar to this maybe once and it had been a blur. He does glance at Red as he makes to hoist himself up the line* Get that nickname from me, Red? Red Kerrigan at eric's comment and follows Gregory and Christophe* Gregory Langsdale *Edges out behind Christophe and hits the button to send the elevator up to floor 4 once everyone is up* Eric Cartman You didn't call her dumbshit, you called her- **sees the elevator start to move and promptly gets inside** Red Kerrigan What? No. Did you coin the term Princess, Goth Queen? Don't think so. *grumbles under her breath at Stan* Christophe DeLorn *reaches back to smack Red* Shut ze fuck up. No talking. *starts to creep forward* Stan Marsh *It takes Raven longer, but manages above Red by a good bit. Focusing more on climbing than talking. He eventually gets behind Gregory and Mole, waiting patiently for the elevator to arrive.* Wendy Testaburger *pulls the gloves off and hands them to Red* Uh. Thanks. *saw the smack* HEY! No one can do that but me. *glares* Stan Marsh ....What. Christophe DeLorn *is ignoring them. If they get shot it's not his fucking fault* *THE FUCKIN FOURTH FLOOR: This place looks like a storage facility. Huge amounts of equipment, cables, and TVs are in various corners and rooms, often connected to transmitters. There is an entire wall of TVs to the left that are transmitting various angles of the dorm rooms. Red Kerrigan What the fuck! Don't smack a girl, you ass! *grabs gloves from Wendy and smacks Christophe in the face lightly* Fuck. Eric Cartman **Waits patiently to get to the fourth floor** You guys all copied Christophe, seriously. Its only funny when he says it. Kenny McCormick *was totally on the elevator* *To the right is a room labeled in chicken scratch that is not locked. To the left is another chicken scratch room that is also not locked. To the back is what appears to be a break room.* Christophe DeLorn *whips around and punches Red in the nose reflexively, not bothering to pull his punch.* Fuck, sorry. Godfucking damnit. *looks super guilty and is about to have a fucking panic attack* Stan Marsh Well... S-Wow Tittybang *also totally on the elevator Stan Marsh not exactly what I expect-*kind of turns at Christophe's punch to see drama* Gregory Langsdale *Blinks in shock* Hey. *Goes to stand between both Red and Christophe, getting a good grip on Christophe's wrist* Eric Cartman **bursts out laughing as he steps out of the elevator** Jesus Christ, I wish Kyle was here. Then this would be a fucking party. Christophe DeLorn *stares at Gregory* Zis is bullshit, I can't do zis, I 'ave to get out before zese FUCKING IDIOTS GET US KILLED. *shoves Gregory away and stalks off to a corner, looking for a way out* *To the right is a room labeled in chicken scratch that is not locked. To the left is another chicken scratch room that is also not locked. To the back is what appears to be a break room. No other rooms are around* Stan Marsh Jesus christ. Stan Marsh Mole, stop acting like you're two and get the fuck over it. Christophe DeLorn *can't hear you lalala goes through one of the doors and slams it behind him* Gregory Langsdale /Hey./ *Stalks after him, turning around halfway there* God damnit - look around for anything useful or something resembling 'Upstairs' - I'll be back. Stan Marsh *looks incredibly irritated* No, Churchill Stan Marsh They fucking need you here. Gregory Langsdale You can handle yourselves for two damn minutes; just make sure they don't do anything idiotic. *Heads straight through the same door as well* Red Kerrigan Omphf! *stumbles back, grabbing the gloves and putting it near her nose to catch blood* Fucking... Kenny McCormick *looks around with lifted eyebrows* Welp. *glances at Red* You ok? Stan Marsh I knew he shouldn't've come but no of course it's a fantastic idea to bring a fucking-*bites off, turning on his heal to survey the room again.* Wendy Testaburger *Jumps, catching Red as she stumbles backwards. She then steps back, putting her hand behind her back* Shit. Sorry. Red Kerrigan Yeah, it's okay, I just get punched in the nose every day it's no big deal, *glares at Kenny as she dabs blood on the gloves, making an 'ugh' noise* Red Kerrigan *wrenches away from Wendy* Keep your hands to yourself Princess... Eric Cartman **After laughing at Red's knockout, he glances around at all the TVs and his mouth hangs open in shock** Woah... what the fuck is this place even?? Kenny McCormick Man some people do, who fucking knows, right? *looking around without touching anything* Wendy Testaburger *scoffs* It's not my fucking fault. A thank you would suffice. Stan Marsh No idea. *voice still biting, but taking in the televisions.* Red Kerrigan I'll send a gift of my first newborn to royalty okay, *rolls eyes as she looks around, finally paying attention to something other than her nose* Stan Marsh There has to be a reason this place is out of bounds. *A box of snacks covered in chickenscratch: *Totally sitting on a table along with a mug that reads #1 Actor in English* *{SUDDENLY} A back door opens and out steps RICKY RICARDO, who stops suddenly and stares at them. "What??!??"* Eric Cartman **Approaches the wall of TVs, seeing Kyle still working on something in his room** There he is... what the fuck is he even doing? Why did he miss this? S-Wow Tittybang RICKY S-Wow Tittybang BABY Eric Cartman **Whips his head around to see Ricky, the REAL ricky** What the... S-Wow Tittybang COME GET A SMOOCH Ricky Ricardo What are you guys doing up here you can't be here you're going to get in trouble!!!!!" Red Kerrigan Huh? *Looks at Ricky, frowning* Ricky Ricardo You're going to get ME in trouble!! Stan Marsh *Raven's eyes narrow.* Alright. Wendy Testaburger *looks around in fright for something to attack with. She decides to bring back the pressure point attack, and leaps forward to get the one in his neck* Stan Marsh How about you tell us what we want to know and we won't tell. Stan Marsh What the fuck S-Wow Tittybang How about you get in trouble and trouble is my vagina! Ricky Ricardo *waves his hands around trying to wave them all back towards the elevator* You have to leave!! Ricky Ricardo ........And then after that kind of trouble sounds pretty fun Eric Cartman **Whips out the broken camera** Yeah! And You're on camera fucker, so everyone will see how incompetent you REALLY are! **circles around to the Chicken Scatch door** Ricky Ricardo BUT FOR NOW YOU HAVE TO GO BACK DOWNSTAIRS Ricky Ricardo Upstairs is going to go crazy! Stan Marsh Why's that exactly. Afraid of losing your job? Stan Marsh *frowns, glancing off at Cartman, but still remaining in place* S-Wow Tittybang *once more opens shirt* You sure you wanna put it off? S-Wow Tittybang Pretty sure they're even bigger than last time Eric Cartman **While everyone's freaking out, he places the camera on a nearby box, but the thing throws off the balance and the box empties out onto the floor** Oops Christophe DeLorn *stalks back into the main room, and spots Ricky. Dashes over and grabs him around the throat, slamming him up againt a wall. Violence is always the best answer* Gregory Langsdale *Trails out of the right room behind Christophe in time to get an eyeful of S-Wow's boob's again* /Ugh./ Ricky Ricardo *yelps* OW Christophe DeLorn *squeezes his neck until he starts to turn purple* What's up 'ere. Tell me. Stan Marsh Thank you Churchill for bringing DeLorn back this is exactly what we needed. Red Kerrigan *Stares at Swow's boobs, studying them* Wendy Testaburger *facepalms again at cartman* Stan Marsh Really, well done. Ricky Ricardo *can't say anything because Christophe's choking him* Christophe DeLorn *rolls his eyes at the fucking weakass and relaxes his grip enough to let air flow to his vocal folds* Gregory Langsdale Raven, shut the fuck up. *Stalks over to Christophe again before grabbing at his shoulder* Don't kill him, idiot. Particularly not if you want any goddamn information out of him. Wendy Testaburger *gives Red a weird look* Huh. Didn't think you swung that way. *smirks* Christophe DeLorn *shoves Gregory away, still glaring at the guard* Kenny McCormick Ricky: *takes a few deep gaspy breaths, eyes watering* Owwwwwww Red Kerrigan *blinks* ....wai-no, I'm not that way, they're just...they're there. How can you not look at them? Gregory Langsdale *Stumbles backward into what looks like a box of DVD players* Kenny McCormick Dude right her tits are pretty rocking. *elbows Red knowingly* Christophe DeLorn *hisses into his face* Stop being a fucking bitch and tell me what is up 'ere. What's in zat room? *nods head towards the door he just came out of* Wendy Testaburger Watch me. *turns away then looks at Christophe with horror* What are you doing! Stop that! Stan Marsh *pinches his nose* Red Kerrigan Like five things just went on and all I saw was jiggle, I'm trying to figure out if her boobs have broke the space time continuum. S-Wow Tittybang If we're gonna choke-em, at least do it in a way that'll get him on our side *grabs ricky and shoves his face in her boobs* Ricky Ricardo *muffled* MFFFHFMFM MFMFMFH MMMFMFM Eric Cartman **Gathers some of the things that fell out of the box, but looks behind him at that room again, and decides to duck in while Christophe had a hold of Ricky** Red Kerrigan *Turns to look at the struggle, blinking again* ....... Red Kerrigan *sees cartman go into the room* ...hey, wait. *follows him in* Ricky Ricardo *flails around helplessly, face still buried* Gregory Langsdale *Clears his throat before trying to pull Christophe away again* This isn't constructive. Christophe DeLorn *stares flatly at Swow, then gives the fuck up and walks back to the elevator. There's nothing fucking useful up here. Then he spots what's on the tvs and stares at them in disgust* Stan Marsh *Raven doesn't move just yet, still watching the idiocy of this scene* Stan Marsh Are we done here Mole, or are there a few other guards you'd like to sick? Ricky Ricardo *accidentally slaps S-Wow in the face in his flailing* Wendy Testaburger *taps her foot impatiently* I don't think he's going to talk. Knock him out. S-Wow Tittybang HEY *grabs his head and rams it into the wall* Christophe DeLorn *slams the handle of his shovel across Raven's stomach, knocking the wind out of him, then goes back to frowning at the tvs* Do you think zey 'ave ze footage of zis anywhere? Gregory Langsdale Inside of the right hand room: Several platforms that look similar to the ones the B-Room, surrounded by handbars. There is a large amount of equipment everywhere and a big green button next to each platform. On the walls is a large plaque that reads UPSTAIRS with more chickenscratch and several motivational posters* Ricky Ricardo *K.O.* Gregory Langsdale Off in the corner of the room is a wardrobe rack with several guard outfits and undistinguishable fleshy lumps between them. Kenny McCormick *trails behind Cartman and Red, hands in pockets* Sup here? Red Kerrigan ....hey ....Eric. Why don't you step on one of those platforms and I push the button so we figure out what they do? Wendy Testaburger *walks into the right hand room just in time to hear Red* NO! Don't do that! Eric Cartman **Examines one of the platforms, and sees the green buttons.** Yeah, like I'M about to risk MYSELF. **places one of his clothes on the platform and presses the green button** Kenny McCormick Good job dude how're you gonna know what happened to them Red Kerrigan I was joking, god. *watches* Gregory Langsdale Cartman's clothes: *Disapears* Wendy Testaburger This... THIS could be the portal! Red Kerrigan Here, let's do this the right way. someone give me your phone. Eric Cartman **Blinks at the disappearance of the cloth** Fucking... yeah it could be! Red Kerrigan We'll put a phone on there, dial one of our numbers, let it ring and push the button. We can hear what happens to it. Wendy Testaburger *she can't help but jump up and down in happiness* Kenny McCormick Where'd they go though? Wendy Testaburger Good idea! Kenny McCormick Like, you don't wanna send everybody to Nazi-Mermaid-Vampire world Red Kerrigan Well duh. Whose phone am I dialing? *opens her contact list* Stan Marsh *predictibly doubles over, gaze still rather dull and cold. He manages to gain control on himself during the time everyone else is in one of the rooms, making instead to head toward the other room, looking still fairly irritated* Eric Cartman **High fives Wendy, bringing her into a hug** Awesome! **but then sheilds his phone** Choose someone else's phone! **looks at the machines around the platforms** I wonder if these things control where it goes? Wendy Testaburger *blushes, wrapping her arms around Cartman* Gregory Langsdale *Watches Christophe and Raven momentarily before sighing and approaching him again* They're mucking about in that room if you're interested. We ought to see what's happening. Kenny McCormick It's a bigass button dude how much control thing does it have Christophe DeLorn *glares after Raven, then follows Gregory into the room with the ruckus* What ze fuck is zis shit? Kenny McCormick More Star Trek shit Stan Marsh *Raven gave the other a nod and a vague wave* Yea, give me a second. S-Wow Tittybang There a button that'll send me to a world where I'm the most famouse person alive? S-Wow Tittybang I'd fucking kill my counterpart on that world for that role Eric Cartman Well if these are the portals, there HAS to be a way to direct where they transport to! **Starts searching the room** It HAS to be around here som- WOAH. **Sees the big fleshy things for the first time** Wendy Testaburger *reluctantly pulls out here phone and hands it to Red, wincing* Here. Wendy Testaburger **her Red Kerrigan *dials up the number and puts it on a platform, then puts Wendy's phone up to her ear and hits the button* Stan Marsh *Raven eventually pulls open the opposite door, glancing at Rickie from where the other still lay unconscious, before examing the inside of the "new" room* Eric Cartman **Pokes at the fleshy thing** What... are these things? Jesus Christ, are they people? **Eyes the platform, and smirks** Fuck! Lets transport one of these things! Fleshy thing *Is a person suit! Put me on!* Red Kerrigan Huh, that's weird. *listens for a moment, waving Wendy over* It's like...it sounds like murmuring. Kenny McCormick *looks over* Dude if they're not gonna talk to you they're just like sending your fucking shit *actually looks at the thing, making a face* The fuck is that? Red Kerrigan Okay, someone push the button, I'll go through the green thing. *steps on the platform* Red Kerrigan *hands Wendy her phone back by shoving it at her before she gets on* Wendy Testaburger *rushes over to Red, leaning towards her to listen* Huh. That's the weirdest thing. Eric Cartman **Turns the fleshy thing around, and it looks like a person outfit! Freaks out and jumps back.** Holy shit! They skinned someone! Christophe DeLorn *stares at Red* You are not. Wendy Testaburger Wait, what! What are you doing! Kenny McCormick *reaches out but doesn't actually touch Red* Dude, that's crazy dangerous *Raven's room: There's a sign labeled COSTUMES with more chicken scratch. This room is stuffed full of guard uniforms, various props, and also lots of crazy food.* Red Kerrigan Push the fucking button, someone! Wendy Testaburger *runs to the platform and grabs Red's arm* You're being crazy! You don't know it works! Christophe DeLorn No. *grabs her and drags her off of the platform.* Not til we know where it goes. Eric Cartman **Snickers** Hey Ken, I dare you to put this thing on. **Hands him the person suit** Stan Marsh What the fuck...*Raven enters the room, pushing through a few costumes, kind of getting a feel for what the hell's inside it* Kenny McCormick *shoves it back at him* Dude skin suits aren't funny fucking serial killers are assholes man Red Kerrigan Hands off! Damnit, just push the goddamn button, I don't get why you guys are so goddamn cautious! Gregory Langsdale Cartman. *Stares flatly at him* Does that camera of yours actually work? S-Wow Tittybang Maybe they're fake? Kenny McCormick *looks over at hte platforms* Dudes you want me to go? Since it's like, uh, less risky and shit. Another frakkin skin suit *Falls onto Raven. This one looks like Beyonce* Eric Cartman **Puts the Skin Suit back** I have no idea! **Takes it out of the bag again, hands it to Gregory** Kyle should really be here, he'd get this thing to work. Stan Marsh *Sort of stumbles back on fucking skin suits jesus* Christophe DeLorn *blinks at Kenny* Oui, if zat's ze only option. Zat is ze least risky. But what if you do not end up back 'ere? Christophe DeLorn Like what if it is to anozzer universe or some shit and you cannot get back? Kenny McCormick Then you know where it went *grins* Stan Marsh *holds it out after a second, appearing somewhat confused* Wendy Testaburger Kenny, do you have your phone? Red Kerrigan My phone's already on the other side. Gregory Langsdale *Frowns* Even if it doesn't send you to another world, how on earth would you get back? Red Kerrigan Look Wendy Testaburger I can't believe we're actually discussing this... we are not sending somewhere to god knows where! Kenny McCormick *jogs over and hops up on a platform, folding his hands behind his head* Yup. I'll call if I don't die hahahah Red Kerrigan Push the button again when no one or anything is on it. S-Wow Tittybang Why would ya wanna get back? Red Kerrigan See if it gets my phone back. Eric Cartman **Listens to the commotion by the Platform** So wait, Kenny's going now? **Scofffs** But what if this is just the portal to some babeland? Kenny would NEVER come back then! Christophe DeLorn Shut up, Cartman. Christophe DeLorn *glances nervously at Kenny.* if you are going, zen good luck, but zis is crazy fucking shit. Why do we not just send a video phone and at least see what is above on the ozzer side? Kenny McCormick *rolls eyes* If the phones work I'll let you know, if I die I'll see you guys later, no big deal Red Kerrigan Skype? Red Kerrigan Ugh... Wendy Testaburger Good luck, Ken... Kenny McCormick *winks at Red before leaning way over and pushing the button, disappearing* Wendy Testaburger If this is what you're set on doing. Red Kerrigan *flips him off as he disappears* Dick. Christophe DeLorn *stares at the spot where he disappered, and goes to cling to Gregory* Zis is fucked up shit. Red Kerrigan Bring back my goddamn phone! Eric Cartman **Rushes over to Kenny** No big deal? Do you even realize what this means- **And then Kenny is gone... leaving Cartman BFFless. He lowers his hand, looking a tad forelorn** Gregory Langsdale *Frowns and subtly tries to grab onto Christophe's hand* Red Kerrigan Now that we've all mourned for him can we try pushing another button in the room? Maybe one is recall. Stan Marsh *Raven eventually is spent on examing these goddamn costumes, shoving the skin one away and heading, grudging, back to the other room. He enters with a frown, looking the group over* Kenny McCormick *reappears, looking none the worse for wear, with Red's phone in hand* There's totally a reverse button on this shit. Wendy Testaburger *Holds Cartman's hand, feeling very on edge about this whole disappearing act* Red Kerrigan *Holds out her hand* Eric Cartman **Just stares at the platform, debating if he just wants to fuck all and jump in too** Fuck. Yeah I guess. **Turns around, examining the body suits again** What do you think they use these for? Stan Marsh What the fuck just happened. Kenny McCormick *hands her the phone and hops off the platform, shrugging* So we all going on them or what? Red Kerrigan Probably to teleport around the place easily or something. *grabs her phone and then looks around* Eric Cartman **Then hears Kenny, and blinks a couple times in shock** Holy... **runs to him and grabs onto him** Fuck yeah we're going! Christophe DeLorn *sighs in relief, and then goes to stand on one as well.* Ouai. Let's go zen, and see what zis shit is about. Stan Marsh What. Stan Marsh Hold on what, we're all transporting now. Wendy Testaburger .... *slowly walks up to the platform, still gripping onto Cartman's hand* Kenny McCormick Fuck yeah it's a goddamn transport party, all the kids are doing it Eric Cartman **Stands on his own platform** GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, RAVEN. **tugs on Wendy's hand a bit, giving her a reassuring smile before pressing the Green button** Christophe DeLorn *ignores Raven and beckons Gregory over* Stan Marsh Ugh. Stan Marsh *pinches nose.* McCormick, any insights onto the other side? Wendy Testaburger *closes her eyes and squeezes his hand as both her and Cartman disappear* Gregory Langsdale *Tentatively steps onto a platform with Christophe* Kenny McCormick Bigass metal room. Was mostly looking for another green button, dude, not gonna lie. Christophe DeLorn *holds Gregory tightly before reaching out and prodding the button with his shovel* Stan Marsh *Raven stands there, alone at this point, looking after them. He sighs, moving back out of the room just like that and pulling his phone out, eyes veering off toward Ricky's unconscious body* Kenny McCormick *hops back up onto a platform and looks all tearfully heroic and shit too for the fuck of it* Stan you gonna come up here and cuddle like everybody else? Red Kerrigan *walks over to the last machine and slams her hand on the green button, not bothering to ask anyone to come with her* S-Wow Tittybang If you make it back I'll give ya a heroes blowjob Kenny McCormick Man I'm holding you to that so fucking hard *taps the button* Stan Marsh *Raven, still appearing irritated, eventually heads to the elevator, sending a final text before hitting the button of the elevator whether Evan was ready or not* Evan Issac *Evan was ready. He really had no idea what was going on, but he was too apathetic to be afraid. With Raven's assistance, he steps into the elevator and joins the herd of conformist sheep* The fuck? *it really DOES seem like a big conspiracy or whatever. He steps towards Raven and the others* Stan Marsh *The room is filled on junk, tvs, what appears to be a break room ahead and an unconscious Rickie lying on the floor. Raven stands there, dull eyed, giving a slight smirk.* Guess we're going with idiotic plans. Should cure your boredom. *And gives a slight wave, heading back to the transporting room.* Evan Issac *steps towards where Raven is*** Stan Marsh *There's no one else in the room and Raven sighs, looking across the platform. He gets on the one Gregory just left from, looking over to Evan as if patiently waiting for the other to join him.* Evan Issac *follows after Raven, not really knowing what to make of everything in the room* I never thought you'd get deep into any of this kind of noise. Are you sympathizing with conformists or something lame? Stan Marsh Yea. Hurry up, I'll explain later. Stan Marsh If they haven't been killed yet already. Stan Marsh *He presses the button as soon as Evan's on the platform with him* Evan Issac Doesn't matter if they're dead. *sticks close to Raven* *Everyone reappears in an excessively enormous room with no windows. The walls appear to be steel-structured and made of metal. They're standing on a similar platform setup and more chickenscratch signs are on the walls, most containing big cartoon smiley faces, all with arrows pointed toward the large, knobless door to their left Next to the door is a cubby area with a bunch of purses, mugs, and bags shoved in them* Christophe DeLorn *stares around, then grabs Gregory's hand in his right and his shovel in his left, and starts towards the door* Wendy Testaburger *visibly starts to shake, very creeped out at the crude smile drawings on the walls* Stan Marsh *eyes narrow, looking a little taken aback that he arrived at the same time apparently as everyone else* Red Kerrigan *stares at the walls for a minute, then walks over to the cubby area and starts ruffling through the purses* Stan Marsh Oh by the way Issac's here. *dully as if it's just a state of fact to Gregory as Christophe drags him off* *The purses are totally sweet! Some contain IDs and cash tokens* Eric Cartman **Still connected to Wendy's hand, seemingly unaffected by his surroundings** Huh, I swear I've been inside a place like this before... Gregory Langsdale What. Since when? *Frowns and grips Christophe's hand as well before turning his attention toward the door* Red Kerrigan *starts pocketing the cash tokens in her small messenger bag, and the IDs* Kenny McCormick *looks around at the smiley faces* Man, please say we're not all gonna get murdered by clowns or shit dude been there done that shit Stan Marsh Since fuck if I know. Gregory Langsdale Where the hell is this anyhow? Underground? Evan Issac Since now, Churchill. *definitely is not bored anymore. He doesn't touch anything, eyes taking in the strange sights* Who knows. Wendy Testaburger *squeaks out* Clowns?! Stan Marsh *Raven surveys the room, looking for any other inconsistancies* Christophe DeLorn *snaps* Zere's no damn clowns. Everyone calm ze fuck down and stay alert. Get out weapons if you 'ave zem. Red Kerrigan *rolls her eyes at Wendy, and shoves the purse back in the cubby and goes for another* Eric Cartman **Shushes Wendy** Calm the fuck down! There's no clowns here. **Goes over to one of the purses and starts rummaging through it.** Who do these belong to? Red Kerrigan Don't know. They have IDs in them. Stan Marsh Mysterious. *sort of sarcastically to Evan, but does for his part start toward the only available door* Stan Marsh see any kind of way to open that thing? Stan Marsh beyond your brute complete force, Mole. Eric Cartman **Takes one of the IDs and looks at it** Who though? Christophe DeLorn Nope. *kicks it as hard as he can* Stan Marsh Oh so surprising. Stan Marsh That's really going to work out great. Red Kerrigan Maybe it's in one of these bags. Red Kerrigan If you all would shut up and help search... Red Kerrigan *Looks at Eric with a semi-grateful look, but then goes back to pawing through bags* Stan Marsh I meant an actual card swiper, Red. *examines the door* Eric Cartman **gets into one of the outfits he put in his bag, also puts on one of the purses** How do I look? Stan Marsh *glances back at Cartman with a slight grin* Fabulous, fatass. Wendy Testaburger *searches through the belongings, pocketing a couple of ID's and a few coins. Looks to Cartman* What. Is that your idea of a disguise? Eric Cartman **Glares** I wasn't asking you. **takes out a tube of lipstick and applies it generously** Kenny McCormick *laughs* Nice, dude, real nice. Evan Issac *also looks at Cartman* Drop dead sexy. *sardonic tone. He rolls his eyes, not doing anything but watching all of them* Stan Marsh *still looking slightly amused* Red Kerrigan Well sunshine, *looks at Raven* Obviously if the IDs are here there's no ID swipper. Stan Marsh What. Eric Cartman **Strutts over to the door, looking like he totally belongs there** There has to be some kind of password or something, how else would you get through this door? Red Kerrigan Maybe it's voice activated. If it's voice activated we're fucked. Stan Marsh Could drag that other guard here. Stan Marsh There is a return button. Wendy Testaburger We could try the chips again? Kenny McCormick Anybody try like, asking it to open? Red Kerrigan Like saying, Hey door, open? Red Kerrigan That's like the most retarded passcode I've ever heard... Eric Cartman **sighs, and puts his hands on his hips** OPEN THE FUCK UP! Evan Issac *glances at Wendy* Maybe you could flash your little tits to the door. Kenny McCormick Yeah like uhh that movie with the hobbits *There's a panel by the door, as well as a large platform full of buttons and equipment off to the side* Stan Marsh *pinches his nose* Stan Marsh It looks like it needs a password. *The door opens abruptly for no reason. Standing on the other side is A GIANT FUCKING HORRIBLE MONSTER* Stan Marsh *looks up, startled.* Kenny McCormick Hahahah was the password password? Kenny McCormick SHIT Red Kerrigan What the fuck?! Christophe DeLorn FUCK! *Slams the spade of his shovel into the neck* Eric Cartman **Nodds approvingly** Awesome! I guess I'll jus- **Stops in his tracks and screams on top of his lungs, barrreling past everyone on the way to the portals** Monster *Is ten feet tall, drooling slime everywhere and wearing a bow tie* Christophe DeLorn FUCKING FUCK! Red Kerrigan *backs up towards the platform* Stan Marsh *frowns somewhat on confused, but looking incredibly intrigued* Kenny McCormick *gets knocked down by Cartman's fat ass* Stan Marsh *knife in hand* Wendy Testaburger YOU SAID NO CLOWNS! I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT! *runs to the corner of the room* Monster Rampha rapporabb. *Staggers after being hit* Eric Cartman WEEEEHEHEHHHEHHHH! WE'RE GONNA DIE! **Hides behind Wendy and just cowers like a baby** Christophe DeLorn *lets out a crazyass yell and jumps on it, shovel bashing* Stan Marsh Mole, seriously. Monster *Rearranges its bowtie and tries to punch Christophe, staggering around and plowing into Stan and Wendy* Wendy Testaburger CARTMAN, I BLAME YOU! Stan Marsh Are we even sure it's dangerous - jesus fuck. Stan Marsh *jumps out of the way, stumbling, looking after it.* Evan Issac *stares, emotion actually appearing on his usual stoic face. Evan is definitely surprised to see the bizarre monster* Wendy Testaburger *screams, falling against Raven* Kenny McCormick *picks himself back up and frowns* Guys everybody chill for a second-- Red Kerrigan *backs up to a wall, staring at it wide-eyed* Eric Cartman NO FUCK YOU IT's NOT MY FAULT! **Rummages around in his bag, finding a stick and then getting an idea** Stan Marsh *pushes Wendy away* Christophe DeLorn *hitting it as much as possible bam bam bam* *A second fucking monster appears, this one with eyeliner on its fifteen different eyes* PRYOOMPPP MMU. *Lets out an ear-piercing scream before pointing at Evan* Eric Cartman **Takes the stick and nervously approaches the Monster** BAD... THAT'S A BAD MONSTER! Wendy Testaburger *falls into the wall, hitting her head. She slumps to the floor* Sassy monster *Picks up her purse and starts smacking Evan* Kenny McCormick *actually slaps his forehead* Dude--- *turns at second monster* Uhh Christophe-- Red Kerrigan *runs over to Wendy, checking her head and then lifting her up a bit* Wendy, are you okay! Christophe DeLorn DIE, BEETCHES!!!!!! *wham wham wham shovel time* Eric Cartman God damn it, it worked on my cousin and the fucking snake! **Throws the stick aside, wondering if he could do ~something else~** Monster *Collapses to the ground under the shovel assault* Wendy Testaburger Wha... *her eyes are half lidded, and looks dizzy* Stan Marsh *Raven looks annoyed, peering into the actual room they came from* Christophe DeLorn *leaps over the fucking body and starts to wham the second one* FUCK YOU FUCKING FUCK FUCKING DIE YOU FUCKING BITCH!!! Red Kerrigan *Red reaches in her bag and pulls out a cloth, shoving it into a bottle she opened and then lights it and chucks it at the purse monster* Stan Marsh This is such bullshit, jesus christ. Evan Issac *winces as he's suddenly hit by the second monster that seemingly appeared out of nowhere* Fucking hell... *shoves the thing as hard as he can, taking a few steps back* Eric Cartman **Approachs the second monster, sauntering up to it and soothing** Hey~ what's going onnn? How about we ditch this crazy scene and uh... go back to your place? I'm digging the... **reaches out** Slime? Kenny McCormick *backs up towards the girls for lack of anything better to do* Red you wanna bail with her or, like... *eyes all this monster-shit warily* Gregory Langsdale Fuck - how the hell do we close the door? *Starts trying to muck around with the panels again* Wendy Testaburger Nuh... gotta fight... *waves her arms around limply* *Hands on hips* raamrpaoop RAAAW. Stan Marsh Churchill, have they even tried to attack us yet. *snaps* Stan Marsh *but for his part stays clear of door, still trying to get a good look inside the room* Gregory Langsdale Yes, what a fantastic idea - let's wait for more to come in and find out. *Rolls his eyes at Raven* Red Kerrigan *turns to Wendy and slaps her cheek a few times* Wendy? Stay there. I'll hit it if it comes here, okay...* looks worried Sassy monster *Starts snapping her fingers Z-style at Cartman before hitting him with her purse and pointing toward the transporter* Eric Cartman **Just as he reaches out to the gooey monster again, he feels a PAINFUL STING coming from his back and then all of a sudden...** RWRRWRWRRRRRCHOOOOM. **THE HUGE SATELLITE PROTRUDES FROM HIS BUTT** Stan Marsh Whatever. It's there are backward. *readying his knife and just pushing in through into the room.* Gregory Langsdale ....What. Wendy Testaburger *blinks lazily up at Red and nods, curling up* Stan Marsh *looks back in time for satellite, staring blankly* Christophe DeLorn *manages to come out of his haze of bloodrage and stares at Cartman* Gregory Langsdale Wow. Stan Marsh This....what. Eric Cartman **blinks once, and then again. Not believing what just happened** Uh... excuse me? Sassy monster *Stares as well* Stan Marsh *getting dejavu wtf* Christophe DeLorn *backs slowly off the monster, going to stand behind Gregory& Kenny McCormick Dude Kenny McCormick Why is that up your ass? Evan Issac *takes several steps back from the second slime monster, and he does not know what to make of the huge satelite portruding from Cartman's ass* ...Yeah. Red Kerrigan *stares* ........I've heard of constipation, but... Stan Marsh This....I don't. *numbly shakes his head* Kenny McCormick *snickers despite the situation* Eric Cartman **Looks behind him, not believing that he's seeing this thing again** Man. I haven't seen this in fucking YEARS! **Weirded out, perks his brow** It's still been up there? Christophe DeLorn *is totally freaked out that he fucked that once upon a time* Fucking 'ell. Red Kerrigan Eric, why did your ass just go transformer on us. What the hell. Stan Marsh .....This actually seems. Really familair. *bluntly, weirded out as well* Kenny McCormick *reaches out and touches the metal curiously* Dude what the fucking shitfuck for real Evan Issac Still? You live with a satelite up your fucking ass? *glances at Raven* Wonder why. *sounds sarcastic* Eric Cartman I have no fucking idea! This is SUCH A GREAT TIME for THIS shit to start up again, SERIOUSLY. **Tries to move, but he really can't.** UGH and I can't remember how to get it back in! Wendy Testaburger *sits up cocking her head to the side, mouth agape* Eric Cartman **Flabbergasted at Kennny** DON'T TOUCH IT! Sassy monster *Waltzes up and sticks her finger up Cartman's butt* Kenny McCormick *kicks it a bit* Man can you just like, finish.... pushing it-- Eric Cartman **IT THEN SHOOOTS BACK INSIDE, VIOLENTLY** Kenny McCormick *stares at the monster* Damn Eric Cartman GAHHHHHH! FUCKK! **Eyes protruding from his head in immense pain** Sassy monster *More sassy jibberish* Christophe DeLorn What ze fuck is zis bitch saying? Eric Cartman **Just stares at the Monster, confused as all hell, but also thankful** Uh, call me? Kenny McCormick Does anybody speak monster? Wendy Testaburger *deliriously* Someone punch it in the tit! That hurts like a bitch! Kenny McCormick Or, like, this monster cuz that's not American Monster or whatever the shit Eric Cartman **Goes for the paper, and then gets up weakly and hands it to her** Whats that? Eric Cartman **points to the first word** Stan Marsh ....Cartman, what the hell. Red Kerrigan Don't question the guy with a satellite up his ass. Obviously you already know he's mad. S-Wow Tittybang *TRANSPORTS THE FUCK IN BECAUSE WHY NOT* S-Wow Tittybang Why's fatboy getting buttfucked by a robot hand? Sassy monster *Grabs Cartman's paper and studies it for a moment, blinking half her eyes and the nthe other* RAPOORN AUSPOOEMMM OOOOM. *Starts singing an annoying song in Monster* Red Kerrigan *sits down next to Wendy, pulling her arm around the other's shoulder protectively* Calm down, you had a hard hit there... Kenny McCormick *flinches* Good job Eric, christ Christophe DeLorn What. What ze fuck. *is getting super creeped out. Does not know how to deal with fucking monsters wtf* Stan Marsh Yea. Fuck this. *goes into the fucking room because screw this shit* Gregory Langsdale *Tightens his grip on Christophe and side-steps in front of him* Wendy Testaburger *drops her head to Red's shoulder* What... Red, what the hell is going on? Is it a clown? FUCK CLOWNS. Sassy monster *Finishes singing before spotting S-Wow and waving* Eric Cartman **Studies the Monster's song, listening carefully** Kenny McCormick *shrugs and walks up to the monster* Soooo, uh, Pretty Lady? How's. Your weekend going? S-Wow Tittybang Oh don't fuck a clown you'll be pulling shit outa your legs for weeks S-Wow Tittybang they think everythings a clown car S-Wow Tittybang *looks up and down at the monster* bitch are you for real? Wendy Testaburger *looks up horrified at Swow* S-Wow Tittybang You think you're pulling that look off Sassy monster Wooom woooooo. *Sassy handflip at Kenny before giving S-Wow the hand and adjusting all her boobs* Wendy Testaburger See. Told you to punch it in the tit. Kenny McCormick S-Wow dude I think she's a fan? S-Wow Tittybang *adjusts her boobs back at her* Wendy Testaburger *looks to Red pouting* No one listens. S-Wow Tittybang Ooh-OH Sassy monster *MORE BOOB ADJUSTING - ALL 16 BOOBS* Evan Issac *already feels a headache coming on, but remains in the room for some reason beyond him as this faggotry unfolds* Yeah, maybe she watches the show. Eric Cartman Yeah yeah yeah, you've obviously seen our show. **Rolls eyes, and then eyes the monster once over** But... how have you seen our show? **Gets confused** Just where are you from? S-Wow Tittybang *adjusts boobs again* Well I'd do anything for a faaan! S-Wow Tittybang You want an autograph sweetie? S-Wow Tittybang Those tits are a little small but they can fit my name Red Kerrigan *pats wendy's hair down comfortingly, putting it back in place* Yeah I know. They're all idiots, just calm down. Sassy monster *Holds up a finger before sliming over to one of the many machines and pushing a button* Eric Cartman **Weirded out** Just what is this thing... and how has it seen our show? Sassy monster *Turns into Theresa from Desperate Housewives* Oh HONEY I thought I was gonna bust a tit when you came up in here! Wendy Testaburger *smiles at her sweetly* Kenny McCormick Man any asshole can get shows on their computer and shit now S-Wow Tittybang Hey, a girls gottta find a fresh place to pahty now and then S-Wow Tittybang Wouldn't want to hang out at the same joints all the time Evan Issac Definitely not a Lovecraftian monster. *finds this Jersey form worse than the previous one* S-Wow Tittybang *unphased* Eric Cartman **DEJAVOU x100** Kenny McCormick *glances at Evan* Nah, dude, those are a hella lot more bitchy if you try and talk to them. Sassy monster Girl I gotta get your autograph. *Pulls a pad of paper out from her clevage* Why you all up here in the dressing room; HQ is gonna flip a nut when they catch you here. Eric Cartman **Grabs a hold of Kenny** Ken, does this ring a bell at all? S-Wow Tittybang HQ can suck my tits, no one tells people from jersey what to do *starts signing monsters tits* S-Wow Tittybang *and then their paper* Wendy Testaburger *perks up at the mention of HQ, she shakily stand up using the wall to balance* We need to leave here. Now. Kenny McCormick What the fucking jersey shit? Yeah dude remember when Kyle wigged out that shit was bananas Red Kerrigan *looks at Wendy* No, why? Wendy, wait. S-Wow Tittybang Boy he's gotta wig out more often, that boys got a jersey beast inside of him he gotta know when to let out Wendy Testaburger If they see us, we're dead. We're sitting ducks! *tries to pull her along* Eric Cartman Ugh I dont know. It's so vague. I can't remember at all. **Rubs head in annoyance** But all of a sudden I just got really really hungry. Evan Issac Judas is horrible enough on his own. Red Kerrigan *follows Wendy, looking back at everyone* You mean abandon the party? Sassy monster No way, sister. *Grabs Wendy and spins her around* You gotta check with the boss first - I'm not gettin' in trouble because I saw you crazies runnin' around and didn't say anything! Red Kerrigan Hey! Bitch, let her go! Red Kerrigan *kicks at the monster* S-Wow Tittybang You may be a guard but you're a fan, and I gotta give ya something *pulls some drugs from between her tits* take these to party down jersey style Eric Cartman **hears the monster say "boss", and cuts in front of Wendy** Yes. Please. Show us the boss. **pushes Red away** And ignore this skank. Sassy monster OW! *Drops Wendy and staggers off* Wendy Testaburger *shrieks* Don't talk to her like that! Christophe DeLorn *is just watching, totally out of his comfort zone* Wendy Testaburger Ooph! Red Kerrigan She grabbed at you! Evan Issac *doesn't know why those conformist bitches are getting so involved nbut stays on the sidelines, continuing to watch* Sassy monster *Hits a big red button on the nearest panel - alarms start ringing* Wendy Testaburger *gets up off the ground, and brushes herself off* Stan Marsh Well. Stan Marsh Looks like we'll have to move foreword now, doesn't it. Stan Marsh Unless you're still afriad of the monsters, Churchill? Stan Marsh *sarcastic, looking Gregory's way* Gregory Langsdale Yes, terribly so. Obviously. *Equally sarcastic. Eric Cartman **So pissed off at Red for fucking this up, but grabs a hold of Wendy's arm and bolts for the door** Christophe DeLorn Shut ze fuck up, Raven. *is about two seconds away from killing the son of a bitch* Stan Marsh *kind of grins despite himself.* Well them, let's get this party on the road. Evan Issac Oh, I can just feel the sexual tension. *commenting on Gregory and Raven's interaction* Yeah. Let's go. Wendy Testaburger *manages to grab Red's hand so she doesn't get left behind* Stan Marsh *ignores Evan and heads into the room finally, knife at the ready. Also ignoring Christophe for his part* Red Kerrigan *follows Wendy, frustrated* Christophe DeLorn *whirls to glare at Evan too* Gregory, can I punch zese bitches in ze face, please. Kenny McCormick Punching after we go, dude *following along S-Wow Tittybang *follows along and re-adjusts tits again. Still the biggest* Evan Issac Calm down, froggers. *patronzing, sacrastic tone towards Christophe as they keep moving forward* Gregory Langsdale Once we get back. *Does not give a single shit at this point* Christophe DeLorn Bon. Eric Cartman **Gets throught the Door with Wendy and Red in toe, trying to find a place to hide for now**

(Continued in Part II)

[relaxguyooc]

[3rd short] Cartman, Gregory, Christophe, Wendy, Red, Kenny, and Josh

Summary: ICE CREAM PARTY PLANNING TIMES! And Catfights. 

Takes Place: September 17th 2012 at 7pm MST

Eric Cartman: IN THE MEETING SPACE OF THE PHIL COLLINS HOUSE: **Lays out a bunch of Pillows, Blankets, and bowls in a circle. Hums a little tune as he sets up.** Dah dah dah dah dah dah daaah. **Delicately places a spoon at each place, taking small steps around the circle before accidently stepping on the loose end of his robe belt, stumbling.** Fuck! **catches his balance, but drops his selected Ice cream topping on the floor. Nuts.** Aughhhh god damnit, this is already starting off SPLENDEDly. **kneels down, grumbling as he proceeds to pick up each almond.** Gregory Langsdale: *Walks through the door just in time to catch a nice glimpse of Cartman's butt wagging up in the air - covering his eyes appropriately* God. What. Christophe Delorn: *trails in behind Gregory, hands shoved in his pocket and absolutely no sort of topping whatsoever* What ze 'ell are you doing, fucker? Eric Cartman: **Whips head around, gathering up the last bit of almonds before standing back up, unashamed of his relaxed attire.** So glad of you both to make it! **Walks over and pats Gregory on his head** I know how /busy/ your nights can be. **Chuckles, flips one of his blond locks** Come join me then! You're the first guests to arrive! Wendy Testaburger: *walks into Phil Collins house, looking around at the mess. She smirks* This looks like a fourteen year olds slumber party. Christophe Delorn: *nearly growls, glaring daggers at Cartman and clenching his hands into fists* Eric Cartman: **Retracts his hand from Gregory's hair and snaps at Wendy** Ay! I didn't have much to work with at fucking Gomez Mart! It was this or the "One Direction" themed slumber party and I HATE those little posers. **Pops an almond into his mouth. Offers her some.** Care for some nuts? Gregory Langsdale: *Smacks Cartman's hand away with the back of his knuckles for good measure* Don't touch me. What sort of fantastic 'plans' are you intending to put in motion this evening? Christophe Delorn: *grabs Gregory's wrist and hauls him as far away from Cartman as possible while still remaining in conversational distance* Wendy Testaburger: *Wendy tries to hide her grin* I'll pass on your nuts. *She nods to Gregory and Christophe* Hello. How are you all doing? Eric Cartman: **Recoils hand even closer to him** Ow! Shit! **Massages knuckles, pouting at blondie before cracking another mischievious Grin** We'll get to the plans, but first things first. **Offers /him/ some nuts.** I'd love to see your... selected 'topping'. Gregory Langsdale: Fairly decently. *Calls over his shoulder as he's dragged by, struggling to match Christophe's stride for a moment* And fuck off, Cartman; why the hell would I want any of your damn nuts. I really don't intend on eating any of this inane sugar explosion. Christophe Delorn: Put your fucking dick away, Cartman. *turns to Wendy with effort and offers her a forced smile* Everything is fine, oui. Red Kerrigan: *Walks in through the doors, dwelling downstairs for a few minutes so she's aware of the house layout from what she can see, and then walks up into the room* Hey. *She sits down crosslegged on a pillow, hands on her chin as she watches everyone* Wendy Testaburger: *Wendy smiles to Red, then turns to Cartman* Yes, Eric. What /are/ your plans? Gregory Langsdale: Red. Hello. *Nods in her direction* Eric Cartman: **Horrified at Christophe's comment, redding as he glances down embarrassingly and realizes that the fucker was just alluding to his ~charm~** Oh, Christophe. *Tisking as he joins Red around the table, grabbing one of the pints of Ice cream and opens it up.** CHRISTOPHE Christophe christophe. **starts serving his guests** This isn't THAT kind of party, but I'm sure I could offer you another kind of 'sugar explosion' later if you're interested /Gregory/. **Takes a bite, smiling into his spoon** Red Kerrigan: I don't actually eat ice cream, it's bad for your skin. *Red shoves the bowl towards the center of the table, straight-faced* Just came for the obviously invigorating conversation. Gregory Langsdale: *Rolls his eyes and flips his hand around until he has a grip on Christophe's wrist* Cartman, what the actual hell. Nobody here wants to hear your inane nonsense. If you don't have anything constructive to say, of course I would be more than happy to take over for you. *Shoots him a small smirk** Christophe Delorn: 'I Red. *glares at Cartman before huffing out a sigh, glad that Gregory was at least verbally beating the shit out the fat fucker, since the hand on his wrist prevents any physical confrontation.* Don't mind ze damn conversation, Cartman is just being a fucking cockface. Wendy Testaburger: *Rolls her eyes and sits a few pillows away from Red and Cartman* I agree with Gregory. Why have you gathered us all here? I have a lot on my plate right now, so spit it out Cartman. Eric Cartman: **Returns Gregory's obnoxious comment with a flat stare. Looking him once over as he downed his next spoonful.** First you try to take over my plans and now you try to take over my meeting. **Turns his nose at him** I was simply trying to get everyone comfortable before we get into the nitty gritty of the subject. **sneers at him** So /forgive/ my hospitality... christ. **Coughs into his hand, turning his attention to Wendy as he straightens out his nightrobe.** A lot on your plate, you say? I guess dealing with Raven full-time can get a little... tedius. **snickers** Gregory Langsdale: Oh, for God's sake. I didn't /steal/ your damn plans, Cartman. 'Break into the restricted building' is hardly a novel concept. Wendy Testaburger: *Flushes in anger and embarrassment* I don't see how that's your business, but I haven't spoken to him in weeks. Eric Cartman: **Snaps his fingers at Gregory, perking a brow at him suspiciously.** Don Red Kerrigan: *Sighs audibly as she pulls out a sketchpad and starts doodling a bird on it, waiting for them to get to something that interests her* *mutters* That's productive, let's all kick each other in our sore spots instead of getting anything done... Kenny McCormick: *rolls in fashionably late and shit, looking around curiously* Kenny McCormick: Yo I heard there was free food? Red Kerrigan: *looks up at Kenny* Ugh. You. *Goes back to doodling with a frown* Eric Cartman: 't play dumb with me. I know you think I can't handle this and I KNOW you're already fixing to take over this thing. **Glances back to Ice Cream.** Weeks huh? So I guess you've been occupying yourself with other /interesting/ things. **taps Spoon to chin** Let me guess, Guard things? Stuff you've clearly been keeping from us. **eyes her wearily** How can we trust you now? **Throws Kenny his own Pint** Sup. Christophe Delorn: Kenny, mon ami! *grins and walks over to him, and throws an arm around his shoulders* You can keep Cartman in fucking check for us, hah. Fucking 'ell. Kenny McCormick: Yep, me? *catches the pint with one hand before grinning at Christophe* Hahahah I can try. Gregory Langsdale: *Sighs* Not that we have any reason to accuse Wendy of anything for utterly no reason, I would be curious as to what sort of guard privileges you have as well. Seeing as it may be helpful. Red Kerrigan: *Starts vaguely paying attention when they mention guard duties, looking at Wendy* Eric Cartman: **Ignores Christophe's deliberate attempt to rile him up, and then hears Gregory** Ay! I was about to ask that Mission-Stealer! **pouts** just like a brit to take claim something that's CLEALY mine... Wendy Testaburger: *Scoffs at Cartman* Yeah, maybe I have been keeping you out of the plans. What's it to you? You haven't exactly been thrilled to have me on the team. *Turns to Gregory* I have access to floors from my chip, and just the fact that I can pretty much go where I please in the building without suspicion is enough privilege to me. Gregory Langsdale: *Raises his eyebrows* Really. All of the floors? That would be remarkably useful. Red Kerrigan: ...have you explored all the floors to test this out? Eric Cartman: **Perks up** What do you mean we haven't been thrilled? **takes another bite** Being suspicious of your behavior and your position aside, we'd be THRILLED if you're ACTUALLY on our side and not just a /two-timing skank/. **angrily takes another scoop** Christophe Delorn: *pats Kenny on the shoulder and walks back to Gregory* I 'ave talked to Kyle as well, and I think zat 'e will be able to get us in regardless, but it might be better to 'ave an actually traceable code as well. Gregory Langsdale: *Nods* Well, the thought was to have two teams regardless - perhaps that's a bit more feasable now. Wendy Testaburger: I don't fucking need to be questioned and guilt tripped. I'm out of here. *She gets up angrily and turns to leave* Kenny McCormick: Aw, dude, Wendy, ignore his ass for a second. Can you get in to the penthouse shit or not, that's all anybody wants to know. Wendy Testaburger: Yeah, I can get in. *crosses her arms over her chest, huffing* Eric Cartman: **Chuckles to himself, pleased with the result.** Or do you really have nothing to report and you're just grandstanding. **Shrugs** Can't blame me for being suspicious! Fool me once... Kenny McCormick: *rolls his eyes and eats the free ice cream* Red Kerrigan: *Reaches up and attempts thwacking Cartman on the back of his head* Gregory Langsdale: *Smirks* Wendy Testaburger: God, fuck you Cartman. Do you /want/ me to leave? Because I don't need you. Right now, it seems like you need me so shut up about your feelings, tell me the plan, and pass me some fucking ice cream. *Sits down next to Kenny* Kenny McCormick: *does indeed pass her the ice cream* Wendy Testaburger: Thank you, Kenny. *spoons a large amount into her bowl, and eats still scowling* Eric Cartman: AY! **Accidently drops ice cream as he defends himself from Red. Looks absolutely distraught.** I wasn't even done that! **Grits teeth at her, and then reluctantly passes Wendy some of the toppings** We do need you, but only if you're in this 100%. **Shoots her a serious glare** I don't want to get to the end of this only to see you laugh in our faces as some sort of revenge tactic. I know you're perfectly capable of doing this even IF these fuckers trust you. **Smirks** I know you better. Red Kerrigan: So can someone explain to me what these 'chips' are? Wendy Testaburger: *raises an eyebrow, knowing he's right* I'm in it for the long haul. No more revenge. And I know /you/ better, and you're going to want proof. But you're just going to have to trust me. *winks at him dangerously* Eric Cartman: **Smirks back at her.** I guess so. **Reclines into some of the pillows** So why dont you explain to Red what "these chips" are? **shows off his wrist** Actually, have you learned anything new about them? We still haven't been able to remove them, even with Ike's skills. Kenny McCormick: *slouches, digging around in his ice cream for cookie bits* Anybody like, try? Cut that shit open and look? Eric Cartman: You'd be the only one I'd risk doing that to to be honest... Kenny McCormick: *grins* Red Kerrigan: So........when people die here don't they revive us? Wendy Testaburger: *Wendy holds up her forearm* You can't see them but they're tiny, microscopic chips in the forearms of everyone here. Even you. Everyone has one. Yours works as a tracking device, so that HQ can keep tabs on you. Since I'm a guard, mine works the same except that it can open all doors in HQ. Gregory Langsdale: There's really no evidence of that; none of us have died thus far. *Walks over to stand near Christophe, bumping his shoulder into him* Nor has anyone attempted digging about in their arm, save for the time Cartman attempted to give himself cancer by trying to locate an x-ray machine. Eric Cartman: The only person who actually died here, sans Kenny, is Kyle. **Eats some more Ice cream** And he was brought back to life. Kenny McCormick: That was a special case and shit too, right? S'what he kinda fucking implied. Red Kerrigan: .......so why don't we off someone and take out their chip and duplicate it? I'm not saying ...any specific people...*looking at Wendy* Eric Cartman: And the Xray machine was an AWESOME idea! **Takes another pint** You can't deny that. **Hears Kenny** Yeah yeah, that "Curses" week. Gregory Langsdale: *Stares at Red like she's insane* Because we'd then be murdering our friends? What sort of suggestion is that? Wendy Testaburger: *quirks an eyebrow at Red* Sorry, I'm not letting Cartman dig around my arm. Also, if we were to perform surgery, it would be extremely dangerous. Red Kerrigan: It's not murder, it's playing the system, obviously they wouldn't actually die...Who knows maybe we're all hooked up to machines and this is all virtual. Kenny McCormick: Dude that's a bigass gamble to take. Just Gregory Langsdale: *Still mildly shocked* What? Sorry, I'm not about to gamble with peoples' lives based on a hunch. That's ridiculously risky. Eric Cartman: Off people? **Laughs** Now this is getting interesting. **Shakes head** But no, this meeting isn't about Killing people. It's about NOT getting killed /thank you very much/. **Makes a mental note: watch for Red** So then, for those not living in 'The Matrix', who wants to be on what team? There's my team - which is the super awesome and cool one - and Gregorys team which is boring and reconnaissance crap. Gregory Langsdale: I mean, you do realize that you're talking about /murder,/ correct? Red Kerrigan: Well yeah. I'd let someone rip my arm off if it meant I was one step closer getting home. I'm surprised none of you are that desperate yet, you've been here like forever. Kenny McCormick: Man getting your arm torn off fucking hurts like a bitch, dude, trust me, you don't want that shit. Gregory Langsdale: Shut it, Cartman. I've already told you that I didn't steal your idiotic idea; I'm simply interested in someone being in charge who can actually accomplish things. Furthermore, you haven't specified what exactly these teams are meant to accomplish. Christophe Delorn: We are not murdering anyone, dumbfucks. *shakes his head, not completely sure what is going on* And ze teams cannot be zat large, or we will alert ze guards before we mean to, and zat is a big problem. Wendy Testaburger: Digging around someone's hand could be extremely dangerous. Bones, muscles, tendons. Bits that would painful to damage, and take a long time to fix. Not to mention hitting a vein! Eric Cartman: My team - **brings out his computer** is breaking into the building and gathering more documents. **hands everyone a copy of paper, some weird language scribbled on it.** These are the reoccuring words I saw on the last documents we stole, so anything labeled with these words are what we need to focus on and figure out what they say. Kenny McCormick: *squints at the page before turning it around, trying to figure out if it's upside down or not* Red Kerrigan: *Pulls her knees up to her chest* Ugh, whatever. I'll be anywhere. And I'm not afraid of being blown up so if you need someone to do the dirty work I'm game. Wendy Testaburger: *Surveys the paper* Who's on what teams? Eric Cartman: **Eyes Red suspiciously** Well, since Red is apparently suicidal, she can be on the first wave of people in. **Takes one of his own papers** And I'm taking the people who have done this kind of thing before. **Glances at Wendy** Didn't you and Stan uncover the Girl's List conspiracy by doing this same kind of work? Which by the way **glances at Red and Wendy** Fuck the both of you for putting me on the last space. I knew it was just to piss me off. Gregory Langsdale: *Blinks down at the paper* What sort of language is this? Or is this some sort of code? Kenny McCormick: Dude don't fucking enable suicidal people to hurt themselves that's not cool *rolls his eyes at Cartman* Red Kerrigan: I have no clue what you're talking about. And I was suicidal before I got here, this place just brings it back. *glares at the table* Eric Cartman: We don't know yet. **Scratches head** I remember one of those words, vividly, but I don't know what it means. **Tilts head** But I know it's important. Eric Cartman: **Laughs at Red** Jesus Christ. You and Gothbro should go on a Graveyard date. Wendy Testaburger: Yeah, Stan and I did uncover it. And /I/ didn't vote you last... *looks down to her ice cream, grinning* Red Kerrigan: Fuck you. Can you even lead a team without killing everyone else to cover your own ass? You seem like the type. Wendy Testaburger: Hey, we only use killing as a last resort. Wendy Testaburger: Well, at least I do. Gregory Langsdale: Most sane individuals do as well. Eric Cartman: **Smiles at both comments, relaxing back and crossing his legs, inadvertantly showing some ~skin~** If everyone does what they're supposed to do, no one gets killed. **points at both of them** I don't take recklessness lightly, so we all need to stay close together, get what we came there for, and leave one of these to record more information. **Brings out something from his pocket** Wendy Testaburger: I'm not reckless with my work. I don't know about Red, seeing that she's all ready to volunteer me for arm surgery. Red Kerrigan: It's just an arm....*says rather sarcastically* Gregory Langsdale: Right, new rule: no maiming of fellow individuals. *Rubs at one temple* I can't believe I even have to say that. Kenny McCormick: *grins* Good ground rule to have though, dude. Wendy Testaburger: *sighs* I'll do my best. Wendy Testaburger: What's that you're doing Cartman? Red Kerrigan: *yells* I'm not going to kill, murder, massacre, behead, blow up or destroy anyone at this table, okay? I just want this to be productive and petty arguments aren't getting anyone anywhere! Goddamn, it's like working with idiots! Eric Cartman: **Eats some more Ice Cream** Yup! So I figure I'd take you and Kyle and anyone else- **gets cut off by red** Who's arguing? We just settled it. **Glances at Gregory and Christophe** So Red... you're on Reconnaissance team then? Wendy Testaburger: *Scoffs* You must be new. Gregory Langsdale: *Opens his mouth to reply to Red before snapping it closed and turning to Cartman* And what exactly does 'Team Reconnaissance' do? Red Kerrigan: *Breathes heavily and sits down, closing her eyes and trying to meditate away her annoyances* Kenny McCormick: Aren't both teams kind of reconnaissance man we need better names for this shit Gregory Langsdale: Agreed. *Points at Cartman* Team archives. *Points at himself* Team fourth floor. Is that clearer? Wendy Testaburger: I say we bring back "La Resistance" right, Gregory? *winks and nudges him* Eric Cartman: **Bursts out laughing** They should have a song too! Gregory Langsdale: *Grins at Wendy before rubbing at his forehead again* Wow. That's quite the throwback. Wendy Testaburger: So, the entire operation is "La Resistance 2.0". Red Kerrigan: What is La Resistance?... Eric Cartman: PSHH! No. This isn't fucking "La Resistance" it's " La GET THE FUCK BACK HOME", **Nods to Christophe and Gregory** And my team's song will be ten times better than yours combined. I can hear it now. **Begins snapping his fingers, whistling** ~I don't want no high school drama or Bieber drone, I just wanna get the fuck back homeee~ Gregory Langsdale: La Resistance was the name of our movement during the American-Canadian War, and oh my God, what are you doing; stop that. Kenny McCormick: *laughing and shaking his head* Wendy Testaburger: *Buries her face into a nearby pillow* WHY. Eric Cartman: **Gets up and starts dancing to his own song, landing next to Gregory and poking at his head** ~Everyone here's just so fussy, faggy and lame, but come with me and I'll get you out of this game!~ Red Kerrigan: Oh yeah....that......*rolls her eyes at Cartman's antics* Wendy Testaburger: Okay, okay we get it! *pulls her head up, blushing* Kenny McCormick: *has fished out his phone and is recording this* Gregory Langsdale: *Swats at Cartman's hand again, slamming his hand into his wrist* Wow. Are you finished? Gregory Langsdale: Can we actually get back to the issue at hand - namely outlining our strategy - or do you need me to take over for you while you continue to riverdance all over the damn room? Wendy Testaburger: *bites lip* So... has anyone heard anything from the others? Are they in, too? Christophe Delorn: *gets up and thwacks Cartman over the head to get him to stop singing* Christophe Delorn: Kyle says 'e does not want to go unless 'e 'as to, but 'e is doing ze computers so zat is fine. Gregory Langsdale: Raven is as well, if we need him. Eric Cartman: **singing into Spoon** There's only one guy around awesome enough to rule~ So take a seat, kick up your feet, and stop being Bieber's tool- *gets hit and falls back down**OW! **curls his leg in seething** How do YOU know Kyle said that, why are YOU talking to Kyle huh? [triage room lol]: (quilt_fresh) *leaps in from out of a ceiling tile for who knows what reason, namely to show off* Have we established a level of seriousness necessary for making plans? Wendy Testaburger: Will you stop acting like a jealous preteen girl? We have matters to discuss! Kenny McCormick: Sup, dude? *offers Josh ice cream* Christophe Delorn: I am talking to Kyle because I am trying to get shit done zat actually is useful instead of making fucking ice cream parties and posturing and trying to one-up Gregory, you fat fuck. *shouts at him, trying not to resort to punchings* Wendy Testaburger: Gregory, what is your plan? Red Kerrigan: *Stands up and walks towards the door* Someone send me a memo after you get the shit sorted out, I can't stand half of you and the other half...well they're special. Kenny McCormick: *waves cheerfully at Red* Later, pretty lady! Wendy Testaburger: *smacks Kenny* Red, don't go. Red Kerrigan: *flips Kenny off as she walks out into the hall* Wendy Testaburger: *Gets up and runs after Red* Josh Myers: *waves the ice cream away politely* Hello, McCormick. And as for the ice cream party, I thought it was a bit of a weak ruse to cover up what we are actually doing today. *sits on the floor cross-legged and in his pajamas* A very comfortable group meeting, however. Wendy Testaburger: *grabs her shoulder, spinning her around* Look, you don't have to leave. Gregory Langsdale: Lovely girl. *Rolls his eyes* The plan is to scout around the fourth floor in order to determine what exactly it is they're hiding in there. Eric Cartman: **Still whining over his hurt leg** Did you guys even see what Christophe did to me? Even after I got everyone to get along?! Red Kerrigan: Don't touch me, you obviously don't care so just go back in there and keep doing whatever...you do to make yourself feel good about yourself. God. *turns and starts walking down the hall again* Kenny McCormick: Eric, dude, sit down before somebody kicks you again man. *Takes a bite of his own ice cream and looks at Gregory* So who're you taking upstairs with you if it's all covert ops oceans 12 shit? Josh Myers: That is an obvious plan, but the question is how you want to go about it, hm, Gregory? Gregory Langsdale: Cartman's team will start out in the archives on the second floor, while we'll make a direct attempt to break into the fourth. The end goal here is to ideally find 'Upstairs' and/or pull a useful amount of information from the archives, but we will also want to break into as many locked rooms as wel can for obvious reasons. Christophe Delorn: *glares at Cartman and goes to lurk behind Gregory, just to add lurking terror to his words* Oui. And no one is going to do anything stupid. Gregory Langsdale: The guard chips will be essentual for that, obviously, and anything Kyle has managed to come up with thus far. *Leans slightly sideways, trying to see where Wendy has gone off to* Wendy Testaburger: What the hell! *Sighs, pinches the bridge of her nose* I'm sorry for snapping at you. Just... come back in, please. We can sort this out. Josh Myers: Shall I go ahead and scout out the information to see which guards are on duty and when? Wendy Testaburger: I know you don't like me, and believe me, the feeling is mutual. *rolls eyes* But we need you, as much as I hate to admit it. Gregory Langsdale: That would be useful, actually. Alternatively, if you could think of some sort of diversion - or, I don't suppose you're aware of where exactly the cameras are located in that building? I can't imagine there aren't any about. Red Kerrigan: No, we can't work it out, and it's better if I just pick up information from someone logical later...I'm sure they'll keep Kyle up to date and I like him. So....whatever. Eric Cartman: **mocks Gregory** meh meh meh meh meh meh mehhhhh. ~look at me, I'm Gregory and I'm totally not trying to take over this meeting or anything~ **Gets up, pulls out a camera from one of the pillows** Like one of these cameras that I have conveniently taken? Christophe Delorn: Where ze fuck did you get zat? Eric Cartman: **Takes a look at it, with all it's busted wires and sawed off fastings** Uh... somewhere. I just thought we could like... reprogram it and leave it recording so WE Can see what THEY do. Josh Myers: If our mission leader -that's you, apparently, Langsdale- have a blue print on hand, I will be glad to mark where the cameras that I am aware of are located. If not, I can bring the details later on. Wendy Testaburger: *her eyes flash* You really have no idea what you're doing, do you? Don't you know that people don't /ever/ fuck with me? I don't know what I ever did to make you not like me, but whatever. Your mistake. *turns around and stomps back into the room* Josh Myers: *claps because yay, Cartman came up with something worthy of a short applause* Excellent. Kenny McCormick: *waves at Wendy as she walks back in* Wendy Testaburger: *sits next to Cartman, still scowling* She's not coming back. Red Kerrigan: *stares at Wendy's receding form and mutters* Wow. ...well, apparently the only thing that changes in her alternate realities is a varying of bitchiness. *sighs as she walks down the hall and exits the house* Christophe Delorn: Wait, did you ever get a damn blueprint? *glances at Gregory, eyebrows raised* Eric Cartman: **Shrugs at Wendy's comment** Probably on her period. **Examines Camera again** I wonder if Kyle can break into this thing... Gregory Langsdale: I didn't. Although Myers, if you can draw even a vague outline of the administration building, it will do. Red Kerrigan: *reaches down and pulls her notepad out of her pant pocket* Aw, shit, I forgot my pencil....ugh. That was one I chiseled Bieber's face off of...that's so much work...*Glances back at house, decides to wait a bit before going back in* Christophe Delorn: Ouai, any information zat you 'ave about ze layout is ze best. Like where ze stairs are, and ze elevators and all zat shit. Wendy Testaburger: *ignores Red, suddenly becoming way too interested in her melted ice cream* Gregory Langsdale: Cartman. *Flicks one hand at him to get his attention, all business* Your team is entering the building at ten o' clock. Hopefully it will be less populated by then. Red Kerrigan: *grabs her pencil and listens to the conversation for a minute before going to sit out in the hallway so she can hear without having to talk to them* Josh Myers: *grins and pulls out a sheet of folded paper. It reveals a sketched map of the first three floors* That was a test. You should come prepared with a map next time if you are planning on scouting a building. Eric Cartman: Fine fineeee Ten o Clock. **puts the camera down** Who do I have that's coming with me? Gregory Langsdale: Little helping that if we can't exactly enter the building in the first place. Roaming it freely is your job, isn't it. *Cocks an eyebrow back in Josh's direction* Christophe Delorn: *glares at Josh* I know zat, fuckass, but zey don't 'ave ze fucking records around. Wendy Testaburger: *peers over to Cartman* I guess I am. Eric Cartman: **Listens between Gregory and Josh, getting slightly irritated with their ~tension~** Eric Cartman: **Hears Wendy and directs his attention to her instead** Good. I'll need your chip, and your brains. **Smiles** I guess we should see if we can snag Kyle and Butters while we're at it. The goths will just drag us down, but maybe Ike and Georgie could help. Josh Myers: All you needed to do was ask me in advance. *shrugs arrogantly, taking a few chocolate chips to mark each camera location* Wendy Testaburger: *smiles weakly* Sounds good to me. Gregory Langsdale: That's assuming you'd be willing to cooperate, of course. *Tilts his head slightly, peering down at Josh's work* You're hardly the most predictable. Christophe Delorn: Damn fucking right *pulls out a motherfucking cigarette to deal with the stressful idiots int he room* Zis is not a bad representation zough. Josh Myers: Thank you, I will take that as a compliment. Gregory Langsdale: Are there any rooms here that you or Wendy can't get into? Christophe Delorn: *points to the elevators* Do zese go up all ze way? and do you need special clearance to get in zem? Eric Cartman: **Turns to Wendy** Yeah, are we going to need Georgie too? Josh Myers: Unfortunately, I have not been allowed the access to the employee restrooms. Beside this, the B rooms and anything above the third floor is off limits to us. Wendy Testaburger: *nods at Josh* I'm not sure about Georgie, but I don't think she can either. You'd have to ask her. Gregory Langsdale: She has a higher clearance, I believe. Assuming we can trust her, obviously. Josh Myers: Special clearance is necessary, yes. For you, Christophe, I would imagine that... knocking out a guard with the required access key will be a fun task for you. Josh Myers: *mulls over if Georgie is trustworthy. really isn't sure* Gregory Langsdale: I suppose we could also experiment with whether that idiot guard's chip still works. Assuming Kyle's finished with it. Red Kerrigan: *takes out her pencil and notepad, starts jotting down ideas for a story using the people in the room* Gregory Langsdale: And what on earth is in the employee restroom? *Raises his eyebrows at Josh* Aside from the obvious. Christophe Delorn: I will knock bitches out, oui, but it is easier to not 'ave to. Wendy Testaburger: *nudges Cartman, noticing that he's been eerily quiet* You okay, Eric? Gregory Langsdale: *Glances over at Red, peering around to watch her scribble away* Red, I don't suppose you're taking notes by any chance? This could be useful. Eric Cartman: **Has been thinking about the ~Secret Employee Restroom~ and Blinks** Maybe thats where the portal is... Kenny McCormick: Nobody puts a portal in the shitter, man, you'd be stinking up two buildings everytime somebody took a dump. Josh Myers: It is a restroom of legend, with golden sinks and toilet paper dispensers. Miss Testaburger can confirm whether this is fact or fiction, as I would assume she is allowed to use them. Christophe Delorn: Zey're not going to 'ave transport to ozzer fucking universes in a bathroom, oui. Fucking 'ell. Wendy Testaburger: *winces* Thank you for that Kenny. Kenny McCormick: Just saying, dude Wendy Testaburger: I haven't found anything, but I'll let you know. *holds back a laugh* Red Kerrigan: *glances at Gregory, staring a moment* ...yeah. Taking notes. *has 'egotistical chubster is a sith who falls in love with the bitchy black haired princess* Totally taking notes. Eric Cartman: **Rolls eyes** Well it's guarded for a reason! **Grabs the map** Yeah yah, I know where everything is. We just have to look for these words **grabs the other paper** On these documents, and get ourselves a translator. Kenny McCormick: Dude how do you know that paper means anything like, it could be like somebody's fucking like grocery list and shit in ancient sumerian or whatever the fuck Gregory Langsdale: *Grabs the map back* How can you get a translator if you don't even know what language it's in. *Pauses* Unless Myers, Wendy, or Georgie are familiar. Wendy Testaburger: I /am/ good with languages. Let me see. Josh Myers: *AHHH, looks sad as the chocolate chips tumble to the floor* ... Oh. Hm? *leans forward to check out the documents as well* Eric Cartman: **Gives her the paper** That top one is extremely important. I know it's not a fucking grocery list. **glares at Kenny** Kenny McCormick: Maybe it says pot pie, dude, and that's where you're remembering it *grins like a shithead* Josh Myers: Why that language... it's one common in this universe, but most likely indecipherable to us. Wendy Testaburger: *purses her lips in thought and studies the paper* It's like nothing I've ever seen before. Totally alien. But not impossible to figure out. Josh Myers: *smiles at Wendy* You have a sufficient amount of confidence to figure it out, I'm sure, Wendy. Wendy Testaburger: *grins at Josh* I do. Give me a few hours and I'll figure out what it says. Red Kerrigan: *jots down some more lines, smiling to herself* Wendy Testaburger: Something amusing, Rebecca? Gregory Langsdale: Actually, would you mind if I took those notes off you hand? We'll likely want to copy them out for those not here tonight. Gregory Langsdale: ((hands Red Kerrigan: No, just taking notes. Red Kerrigan: ....oh. Red Kerrigan: Uh.....one minute. Gregory Langsdale: All right. *Holds out his hand expectantly* Red Kerrigan: *tears the papers out of her notepad and hands it over to Gregory* Red Kerrigan: egotistical chubster is a sith who falls in love with the bitchy black haired princess wookiee occasionally says something that makes no sense disgruntled ewok hates being kept from his sacred bathroom, crawls out of ceiling tiles into rooms when out of its natural environment [bathroom] he is a confused and derranged ewok that grew up in a toilet stall instead of in the forest with the other ewoks, was raised wrong as a joke cocky young sexist jedi flirts with everything and gets rejected by a bar waitress who is secretly a lost princess egotistical chubster [chubbywub for short] needs a translator for documents but secretly can't even read because he's a dumb fuck blond sexy jedi master with a good butt is frustrated with chubbywub for being a dumbass ewok gives a disgruntled yell as they discuss plans, assumingly due to sporadic nature bitchy black haired princess cockily says she can handle the language she's never seen because she's got magic brains or some shit since she's special Eric Cartman: What does it say? **eats some more chocolate chips** Gregory Langsdale: Notes from tonight's meeting, obviously. *Glances down at them before frowning* What the hell is this. Red Kerrigan: *smiles sweetly as she looks up at Gregory from where she sits* Something wrong? Gregory Langsdale: *Clears his throat.* 'Egotistical chubster is a sith who falls in love with the bitchy black haired princess wookiee occasionally says something that makes no sense. Disgruntled ewok hates being kept from his sacred bathroom, crawls out of ceiling tiles into rooms when out of its natural environment [bathroom] he is a confused and derranged ewok that grew up in a toilet stall instead of in the forest with the other ewoks, was raised wrong as a joke' Christophe Delorn: *peers over Gregory's shoulder, looking totally confused* Kenny McCormick: *starts laughing* Wendy Testaburger: *grits teeth* What. The actual. Fuck. Gregory Langsdale: *Continues* 'Cocky young sexist jedi flirts with everything and gets rejected by a bar waitress who is secretly a lost princess' Josh Myers: My, my, what an entertainer. You say you were never in a drama course and yet I'm a bit skeptical, Miss Kerrigan. *smiles and rubs his chin thoughtfully* Christophe Delorn: *grins* Is zat supposed to be Kenny? Red Kerrigan: *puts her pencil and notepad in her pocket as she stands up, waiting for Gregory to finish* Kenny McCormick: Hahahah dude Red what I haven't even been flirting *still kind-of laughing before grinning at her* You'd fuckin know if I was really flirting. Gregory Langsdale: I suppose. *Flips the page.* 'Blond sexy jedi master with a good butt' - What the actual hell - 'Is frustrated with chubbywub for being a dumbass ewok gives a disgruntled yell as they discuss plans, assumingly due to sporadic nature. Bitchy black haired princess cockily says she can handle the language she's never seen because she's got magic brains or some shit since she's special ' -What utterly fantastic note-taking skills you have, Red. Christophe Delorn: *cracks up at the good butt bit* Damn fucking right, hah. Red Kerrigan: Yeah? Yours isn't half bad either, wookiee. *flips Kenny off* And thanks. I'll take notes again next time. *turns and walks out of the room with a grin* Kenny McCormick: *laughing again at the whole thing* Man. Wendy Testaburger: My "magic brains" are actually contributing to the group. *snaps at her* Eric Cartman: Hey I am NOT Cocky /Red/, but sexy yes. Thank You. **winks at her** Red Kerrigan: Or you're just wasting time running your mouth during meetings...whatever you want to believe, princess! *yells it down the hallway as she walks off* Where the fuck is Kyle. He's like the only cool guy here...good butt and brains. Eric Cartman: Word. **takes a scoop of Ice Cream** Christophe Delorn: *stares flatly at Cartman* I think zat she named you "chubbywub," dumbass. Wendy Testaburger: She's dead. Sorry, Gregory. I'm breaking your rule. *clenches and unclenches her fists* Kenny McCormick: Oh shit are we gonna have a girl-fight? Kenny McCormick: *unreasonably excited about this possibility* Josh Myers: *to watch the catfight or to prevent it, that is the question* Eric Cartman: Ch....Chubbywub? **Glares at Red too** Wendy Testaburger: If you think maiming and getting her shot into the sun is a girl fight. Christophe Delorn: Obviously, dumbass. Ze sexy one is Gregory, obviously. Don't be a fucking idiot. Gregory Langsdale: *Sighs before sidestepping closer to Wendy* Just let her go. If she wants to go off and be idiotic on her own, let her. You're actually necessary here. Kenny McCormick: ....It is if you rip her shirt a little first Eric Cartman: Fuck yeah, Ken. **Gazes at both girls, taking a slow bite of his Ice Cream** Wendy Testaburger: *grins maliciously* Oh, don't worry. She'll get hers. Work will come first, of course. All in time... If she thinks she can get away with that, she actually is insane. Christophe Delorn: *rolls eyes at the dumbfuckery* D'accord, now zat we all 'ave our 'eads, what exactly else do we need to discuss? Gregory Langsdale: *Blinks at her, still hovering near Wendy* You're not going to do anything extreme, I should hope? Wendy Testaburger: No, I won't kill her. That wouldn't be satisfying enough. Josh Myers: *gets up and stands beside Wendy, unrolling a tube of toilet paper hopefully* Eric Cartman: I think all thats left to do is gather our troops and plan out or respective routes. Which night are we doing it? **Eyes Gregory** Are we doing this all together? Christophe Delorn: *rolls eyes* Put zat away, Myers. We can do zis as soon as we can. Tomorrow, even. Wendy Testaburger: *whispers to Josh* I'll definitely be needing you. Keep that toilet paper on hold. Eric Cartman: **Whispers to Wendy** If you end up getting kinky with that shit with Red? You should call me... Wendy Testaburger: *Smacks Cartman's arm* Get outta here. Josh Myers: Roger. *happily holds his toilet paper like a child with its favorite toy* Eric Cartman: Fuck you! It's my god damn party I'll do what I want! **Grabs one of the movies** Okay, so now that the plan is in action, who wants to watch 13 going on 30? Gregory Langsdale: *Presses his lips together* That would depend on how many entry options we have. If Kyle has some sort of access, we can move in separately, but we're limited to how many 'junior guards' or whatever your ridiculous titles are now are available. Christophe Delorn: I will text 'im and find out Gregory Langsdale: .....Nobody wants to watch goddamn 13 going on 30; what on earth is that? Wendy Testaburger: *grabs DVD and throws it like a frisbee* I'd rather you watch porn! Kenny McCormick: Is that a porno? Kenny McCormick: Shit no that's 30 going on 30 nevermind Christophe Delorn: If we are done zough, me and Gregory are going to go. I can 'ave Kyle set up a chat for everyone zat is coded and we will figure it out. *grabs Gregory's wrist* Eric Cartman: Oh well I have The Princess Diaries too, that takes place in England so you might like that one. **Reaches to give it to him, making sure Wendy doesn't get THIS one too** Gregory Langsdale: *Is tugged along by Christophe but frowns at the DVD nonetheless* ...What is this. *Squints* Eric Cartman: **Whips head around to Kenny** Woah, 30 going on 30? We are definitely watching that. Eric Cartman: **Hear Gregory** It's about a Girl who learns she's a princess so Julie ANdrews has to teach her how. **Grins smugly** Relevant, right? Gregory Langsdale: ....Wow. Gregory Langsdale: And this is what you do all night? While crying into ice cream? Christophe Delorn: *rolls eyes* Fucking 'ell. Wendy Testaburger: Well, I've got nothing better to do. Eric Cartman: AY! There's no CRYING! **Folds arms into chest** And you'd probably LIKE movie night if you GAVE it a chance! But no~~~ **Sneers at them** Go find Kyle and bring him to me. We'll discuss this code nonsense. Kenny McCormick: yeah pretty much, dude, then when he's all cried out it's porno time Josh Myers: *gathers his belongings* As my excuse for leaving, I have a job to attend, which is coincidentally advantageous to our mission. Gregory, you will be hearing from me soon after I have found the guards shifts of tomorrow evening. Josh Myers: *smiles at Cartman's nonsense and movie love, saying nothing* Christophe Delorn: Can we go, princesse, and figure out ze important shit, please? Wendy Testaburger: *winces at the word princess after being called a princess by red* Gregory Langsdale: Thank you, Myers. And yes, fine. *Turns and starts to leave with him* I'm glad you didn't beat the everliving hell out of him, by the way. Don't think I didn't notice that. *Grins* Eric Cartman: **Throws pillow at them as they leave** Don't forget to fucking bring the topping next time, assholes! Christophe Delorn: It was an effort. I did not think zat would be manners and bullshit. *Goes out of his way to hold the goddamn door for Gregory as they leave* Josh Myers: *hoists himself onto a chair and then back into the ceiling for a theatrical exit* Christophe Delorn: *flips Cartman off without looking at him* Wendy Testaburger: *collapse on a pile of pillows and snuggles up with a blanket* I'm down to watch a movie. Anything but fucking princess diaries. Kenny McCormick: man whatever I'm down for movies. got shit else to do tonight. Eric Cartman: Fine we'll watch 13 going on 30 then. **Gets up and plugs the DVD in** This is the only thing they had for 5 Bieber bucks at the store. Eric Cartman: I'll be jotting down more plans when I know how many people are coming with us. Gregory Langsdale: *Leaves along with Christophe*

[relaxguyooc]

[AIM CONVO]: Cartman and Butters

Summary: Eric IMs Butters about the Ice Cream Party, also to vent about Gregory "stealing" his idea.

Takes Place: September 11th 2012. Part of Miniplot VI: Break In.

[relaxguyooc]

[AIM CONVO & 3rd Long]: Christophe and Cartman

Summary: Christophe tells Cartman to back off of Gregory, but Cartman takes that as an opportunity to tell him about his Fourth Floor Plan. Christophe isn't too happy about it, so he visits Cartman's room to show him whats up. Cartman, of course, tries to make a slumber party out of it.

Takes Place: August 24th 2012

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Growling in frustration, Christophe finally decided to stop fucking around. He grabbed Cartman’s forearms and muscled him to the ground, not bothering to use his legs until the large boy was twisted uncomfortably. Christophe knew it wouldn’t be long before his hip flexers started to cramp, and he grinned into Cartman’s face. “Dumbass,” he hissed, and freed his foot the moment he felt Cartman’s leg relax a fraction. Then it was simply a matter of pressing his knees into the soft bits of Cartman’s leg muscles, effectively keeping him in place. “Don’t fucking fuck wiz me.”

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Wincing from the pain, Eric peered up at Christophe's face before flushing profusely. The awkwardness of the position settling in. "I don't understand. How the fuck were we in a relationship if I wasn't able to pin you? You're a lot stronger than you look, so how did this work out? Did you just LET me fuck you? How intimate was our relationship?" He winced, laughing weakly before giving him a suggestive look. "I never took you for a sub..."