#badly summarized

[thisnerdetteoverthere-blog]

Misery: i have connected the dots

Serena (from her prison cell): you didn‘t connect shit

Misery: i‘ve connected them

[brainstreams]

BADLY SUMMARIZED FANFICTION PART I

Comment/reblog your fanfic and I'll badly summarize it in my next post! Follow me for more epic stuff by me.

Satisfied Soul by @qa3lioo

Sick Girl Beats Boyfriend at Go, Then Dies. All written in prose so immaculate, even Shakespeare's jealous. If I was your writing teacher, you'd get an A+.

Painless by @megmax1898

Depressed teen contemplates unaliving herself until her blonde soulmate dramatically climbs through a window and says, "Nooo don't kill yourself, you're so sexy aha". Very cinematic. Very tragic. Very gay. 11/10.

Aren't Your Feisty? by @introvertathome

Girl gets kidnapped by a Russian spy, roasts him so hard he commits attempted murder. Then her terrifying ex-girlfriend shows up, they trauma-flirt, and run away together. The lack of kudos is a crime. 11/10.

Damn. That was a lot more work than I thought, but it was also super fun!

[lunion]

There are few things in life that are as peak humor as wrongly describing your favorite media and see who can recognize it.

Chubby baseball prodigy sneaks out from home and travels around the world looking for tourist spots so he can defeat the forces of evil with the help of his formely abudcted girlfriend, his arms dealer and his royal retainter with irritable bowel syndrome.

Can you gues which game is this?

[the-red-rainy-perytons]

Seussical Badly Summarized because I read the Wikipedia plot summary and am feeling some things also no one seems to know what this musical is actually about??

(Hello black font it's me Rainy)

So the Cat in the Hat shows up and informs this kid that he is, in fact, a figure of his imagination and then promptly tells him to imagine another dimension to make it real, which the kid does.

So then Horton Hears a Who happens but this bird loves Horton so she takes pills to get him to notice her but he still doesn't? Anyways the Cat shoves the kid into the story as Jojo from Horton Hears a Who but then Jojo's parents get mad at him for having an overactive imagination so they send him to military school in the middle of a war but then Horton Sits on the Egg happens because he lost the speck and then someone finds it?? (I was reading fast) and the bird who loves Horton has to go get him but she can't fly because she took too many Fancy Tail Pills so she has to pluck all her fancy feathers

Also Jojo gets sent into battle and disappears and the General thinks he's dead but he's not he's just really stupid lost and during this entire show the Cat's been reminding the audience how awesome it is not to be in these situations

Anyways Horton Hears a Who finishes and Jojo gets home somehow?? And his parents forgive him for having an overactive imagination that can summon other dimensions and Horton and the Bird get together and then the entire thing ends and everybody does a number about Green Eggs and Ham that bops

What

Yep

[thephilosophersapprentice]

good omens is about the stranger things kids except Eleven had a happy childhood and almost causes the end of the world but they save the world at the end with the Power of Love and also there's an angel and a demon talking smack about both heaven and hell as a whole

[peepapeep]

Hey so like

I have no idea what good omens really is.

But tumblr keeps shoving it in my face, so based off what I've seen I'm gonna give y'all a summary.

So here's a dumbass's bad summary of a thing they've never watched, religous addition

So we start out with Azi something who's this lil angel dude, and he's doing his job, being good, but the other angels are lowkey like 'ew' because he is a homosexual and it's very obvious but he has not realized and it makes everyone uncomfortable

Meanwhile there's this demon boy who's totally evil, and his name is Crowley. He's a bad boy, a bad rowdy boy, a fun havin greasy boy, just a dirty boy. And he is also a filthy Homosexual. Thing is, everyone thinks he's straight and it freaks people out, only a lil though cause he's a hot boy and you can't be that weirded out by him if he's hot lol.

Anyways so Crowley is gluing coins to the sidewalk and Azi is blasting christen rock music a lil too loud in his headphones but no one wants to say anything cause he looks so happy, when suddenly both of them trip over the spawn of satan.

And they both go "a wuh oh. if we don't do somethin bout this shit is fucked"

But they an angel and a demon so like,,, they obv can't work together

But then the satan spawn goes ":D" and they both agree that this means they are gay dads now, but totally no homo bromo cause this violates several religions laws.

Anyways, Azi considers killing the kid but then he decides he is not in a grim fairytale so murdering his son probably won't lead to his servant coming back to life or a dragon being defeated or a bunch of boy doves be turned back into regular boys.

So then Azi and Crowley lowkey go on several dates because the writer read one to many smutty fanfics and decided they had to be in the show

But the demons and angels catch them and r like

"Meet me in my office, rn"

So they both go in and Crowley gets a lil mock trial and Azi is just told like "ok blease step into the hell fire now"

Anyways so Crowley went against Phoenix write on crack so he lost and they told him to step into the holy water tub or it was cock and ball torture for him.

Then they step into their respective executions and schwoopsie it's revealed they did aa whole switch-a-roo and the demons and the angels are so stunned that the two gays manage to sneak out and get the satan spawn to satan.

Then they just kinda sit there for a sec cause they never thought they'd get this far, so they hand the kid some notecards so his fuck you dad speech will go well,

In the end he spits on his dad's shoe and that was such a show of dominance that he calls the whole thing off and sulks in his room for the next millennia while Azi and Crowley fuck off screen

The end

[mycatmoo]

Badly summarizing Pokemon Mystery Dungeon games

Spoilers for ALL the games... Which should be a given since this is sorta a summary of these games

Red/blue Rescue Team: None of this would have happened if someone didn’t f*ck with a Ninetales. Also I don’t like team ACT. They dicks. Okay honestly I don’t like any characters in this game. Other than Gardevoir. You cool

T/D/S: None of this wouldn’t have happened if someone didn’t f*ck with a tower

Gates to Infinity: None of this wouldn’t have happened if you haD JUST LET THE FREAKING HYDREIGON TALK TO US LIKE GOD DAMMIT MUNNA THERE IS A REASON NO-ONE LIKES YOU ...Also I like Hydreigon... He’s one of the reasons Hydreigon is one of my favorite Pokemon...

Super Mystery Dungeon: Okay the beginning was a drag, but then it got better in the midddddd-OMFG DID WE JUST F*CKING EVOLVE WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS THE BEST GAME EVER ...Too bad there still isn’t much to do post game...

[shifter-zarina-blog]

Badly summarized One Piece Characters - Whitebeard Pirates

Whitebeard: Badass with white mostache, but calls it beard and none dares to disagree

Marco: Blue and self healing pineapple bird

Ace: Walking sleeping fire cracker

Jozu: Girls best (man) friend

Thatch: Dorky Elvis cook

Vista: The gentle flower swordsman

Blamenco: Handy pocket guy

Rakuyo: Wielder of the flai with teeth

Namur: Sharky brother

Blenheim: Big brother to the rescue

Curiel: Hip-Hop guy with guns

Kingdew: Wannabe He-man with iron gauntlets

Haruta: The prince of the 16th century

Atmos: The sumo-wrestler with swords

Speed Jiru/Jill: The fast knight of the prince

Fossa: Fire-sword-weilding granddad

Izo: Handsome male geisha with guns

Stefan: Captain doggie with bite