Aug 14, 2018
can't wait to get on t and look attractive and grow facial hair and have the ability to get nice thick shoulders and arms I can't wait for it. every appointment is a day closer.
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can't wait to get on t and look attractive and grow facial hair and have the ability to get nice thick shoulders and arms I can't wait for it. every appointment is a day closer.
when ur so baked you feel every molecule in your body
I have a whole month off and only work like 8 hours a week. I need to find a hobby or something. Throwing knives or something... playing video games (despite never doing that), something to do, something to work on.
ohhh
sobriety is difficult.
I'm back to square one, but its fine, today is a new day. Doesn't mean I have to continue using.
you're a fucking demon if you cut coke with dope. Ive been high for 7 hours. And i still have no sign of coming down, i have class in 2 hours, at least ill be awake :/ and i have an appointment with a drug counselor (how ironic)
This is the best feeling ive ever felt in my entire life and i can't fucking let myself go, i already have a problem with stopping coke (obviously), the last thing i needed was to get fucking hooked on meth
I spent 80 bucks on the bag i got fucking ripped off so bad.
I should've known it wasnt coke at first, shit burned more than it should've. It didnt numb my throat when i got the drips, my mouth is so fucking dry, my pupils are huge and have been huge ever since, and I'm sweating beads. I only did 2 lines back to back and ive been high since 11. Its almost 6am now. I've got little round beads still in my nose. Fuck man. Fuck.
Life is stressful but I've found someone willing to work around it and give me time when I need it, honestly, its fucking great.
We went out for pizza, walked around downtown, saw a comedy show. But my favorite part of all was sitting in my car with my head on his chest and his fingers in my hair. My arms wrapped around him. I felt the sigh of relief. I felt that feeling of "I want to go home to you and wake up to you" flood my body.
We're both confident about this turning into something good.
It feels good. I feel good. I have hope.
Life lesson.
When your parents find your alcohol, your weed, your drugs, they will be mad.
At first, definitely
But just one day after, my mom told me she still loves me. She said she'll always love me, and that we'll get through this.
She said she wishes she could fix my pain.
I was petrified.
But I've never felt so loved. And I'm so sorry for hurting my mother. I'm so sorry for hurting everyone in the process of hurting myself. I tried so hard to keep it under the covers, so I could suffer by myself.
You don't need to suffer by yourself.
Not everyone is going to yell at you. Sure, you'll have some people say some mean things. Not everyone is like that.
Those things people say, the names they might call you, they're gonna sting. You're not just a junkie, or a drunk, or a tweaker. You are a human too. Just because you do these things, it doesn't make you these things. You are not a substance. You are not worthless.
There are people who have patience, who will give you love even when they see you hurting.
You are not alone.
Open your mouth, it'll open your eyes.