Hello everybody, I have a pretty unhappy update and to be completely honest, I thought about whether or not I should share this on here at all, but I want to, so I will.
If you are in any way uncomfortable with the topic of animal or pet death please stop reading and move on with your dash, thank you.
On January 19th 2024 at about 1:40pm my beloved senior cat Jasmine was put down. She had been diagnosed with diabetes and was receiving insulin and an iv to guard against her dehydration for about a month and some change.
The circumstances surrounding the reasons why she was put down have a lot to do with my personal family life, so I will leave that information out, though I think she had longer to live and could have stayed with me longer if I'd had a proper say in the matter.
I've had a very hard time dealing with her passing, I was there with her for the euthanization, and I have momentos made with her paw prints and I am told I'll have her ashes (though said ashes are not here yet). It has been a week since I lost her and everything is still very raw and open for me.
I wanted to share some photos of her and talk about her a bit on here because I've shared her with you all in the past and I want to do so again because it's been a long time since I've posted anything personal. I request that you all remain very polite and respectful of her and of me. Talking about this is difficult and typing all of this takes time and resolve that I have a very loose grasp on.
I think some of my favorite photos of her and the most difficult ones to look at are those where we spent long swaths of time together in silence, usually in my bedroom when she had stolen my pillow (and woke me up in the process).
I have plenty of photos from her birthdays in the past, ones where I gave her special foods for dinner as celebration, and ones where I documented her eating in general because she was a notoriously picky eater and seeing her enjoy food was a pleasant thing for me.
More photos of her sleeping take up a bunch of room in my phone and those are both pleasant and painful for me to look at because I feel she looks similar to how she did at the end, but she also looks very happy. They make me miss her the most, I think.
I have numerous photos from after she got diagnosed with diabetes, ones where she has a catheter in, ones where she has patches of her fur shaved on her legs and neck that never really grew back before everything was over. I will not be sharing those because I'd like to remember her before it all, and I think it makes nobody happy to look at sick animals. That, and I've apparently hit the limit for photos.
I don't really know what the point of this post is other than to serve as a way for me to process my grief, and as a way for me to share that with anyone reading it. I have friends on this app that were unaware that I had lost her when I did, people who I haven't told up until now, and to them I am sorry that I didn't say anything sooner.
Anyway, I hope you all appreciate her the way I do. I hope you understand me as I grieve and I hope that we can share these things and let them ease the pain a little bit over time. This might not be the last time I talk about her on here as time passes, and I hope this understanding stays consistent in the future as it is now.
