all my thoughts are essays

'98. she/her. aus. just trying to care about something. atm that's Dan and Phil, and Heated Rivalry

[pseudophan]

OKAY. DAMN.

[fishisnotcool-blog]

In my head Ilya regularly jokes about getting Jane tattooed on his body before they’re outed and then Shane gets drunk one night and gets a Lily tattoo and Ilya loses his fucking mind when he sees it

[the0ther-side0f-dawn]

its frankly embarrassing how often i am googling the current moon phase

[hollandery]

Shane’s own heart started going a little crazy. “You should see a doctor about that.”

Ilya grinned and shook his head. “Is just being in love, I think.” — The Long Game, Chapter Ten

[lizardsmp3]

fuji for first podcast guest when

[the0ther-side0f-dawn]

just had to explain to my housemate that the census is not a government scam; that just because it's delivered by door knocking doesn't make it the same as the jehovas.

[madamoisellemabry]

#myilya has a reputation for being openly a giant gossip about other players. and like, not that that’s not canon, but there’s some faction of girls who are lesbians into hockey who call it for what dude bros never would - rozanov isn’t chirping just on the ice, he’s openly mean girling with other players off the ice too. roz “wendy williams” rozanov becomes a trending thing a few times over the course of his career, with brainrot memes about “wendy williams was pregnant with roz here” to match.

a video by a fan of him and cliff marleau talking INSANE shit on the bench resurfaces after The Outing, and the internet starts up on its usual bullshit of how ilya is too fun for shane again. the usual “oh it’s so sad that roz doesn’t have someone to match his energy” and “hollander is so boring what does a guy who talks like this even see in that”.

anyway, svetlana (who cares less about shane’s hockey image and letting him remain untarnished than ilya does—she’s smart and also a minority so she feels less guilt about pushing shane on it) catches wind of this. one day, out of actually fucking nowhere it’s just some wednesday, she posts a video from the cottage. shes been invited to stay the week to babysit shane who is out on IR, and they’re watching a centaurs vs. guardians game.

the camera is shaky, and held low, and at first you can only hear shane in the background, but then he becomes visible at an odd angle. he’s got his injured ankle up on the couch, he’s wearing a really low cut tank top and a slutty pair of shorts. he is also mid rant about “— and if your entire team is still falling apart to this level TWO YEARS LATER just because you lost one good player and another caught a case, then you have to ask yourself what’s f****** wrong with the f****** coaches. i mean, mathewson is an ugly son of a b**** but i didn’t realize he was f****** stupid too. and we’re not even playing well, smith is just that much of a f****** sieve. maybe if he put half as much weight into moving towards the puck as he puts into pushing his wife around — you’d like her by the way-“

the video goes viral instantaneously. people cannot believe that captain hollander is this mean, but devoted hockey fans also keep quoting it, shocked because he’s RIGHT. some girl who’s been a roz fan since boston tweets, “roz will chirp to piss you off, but hollzy will kill your family because he finds you disrespectful to the sport.”

the only response anyone can get out of the rozanov-hollanders is ilya retweeting that post.

[allesfresser]

His tomato🍅

[littlespoonevan]

we need to circle back to 'he's gonna worry'. like. shane has spent all of the previous episodes confusedtentativepanickedunsure bc he's trying to follow ilya's lead and he's convinced he's not allowed to have more than he has bc he thinks ilya sees it as just sex but now he's concussed and in pain and he has no idea what's going on and, yes, tampa and its aftermath have happened but there's still something so !!!!!!!!!!!!!! about how certain he is that ilya will be worried and so someone needs to tell him shane is okay bc shane doesn't want ilya to worry or to be scared bc he knows ilya cares about him. and it's like. shane doesn't know ilya has said i love you at this point but he still Knows, y'know???? and it's kind of wonderful honestly bc it happens so often in these kinds of stories that even when characters are in the 'we're going to try' stage they still doubt the other person a little, convinced they can't possibly feel the same way, but shane doesn't doubt ilya at all. he knows. so can someone please go tell ilya he's okay, he's gonna worry 🥹

[the0ther-side0f-dawn]

the more i listen to Alan Jackson the more I think, feminist icon 🧐

hear me out

"Hard Hat and a Hammer" (2010) a song about honouring the average joe; the working man, and the last line is "and woman" (he didnt have to add that)

then in "Margaritaville" (2007) he's singing about men drinking their sorrows and he ends this song "Yes, and some people claim that there's a woman to blame, But I know, it's our own damn faults" - tho these lines had repeated through the song, where he usually ends it "nobody's fault".

and im sure there are more. these are just the only ones that have popped out to me so far

[curiositysavesthecat]

If you could restart your life from age 15 with all the knowledge you possessed now, so that you COULD go back and fix all your regrets/mistakes, would you do it?

Yes

No

Remaining time: 3 days 3 hours

*This poll was submitted to us and we simply posted it so people could vote and discuss their opinions on the matter. If you’d like for us to ask the internet a question for you, feel free to drop the poll of your choice in our inbox and we’ll post them anonymously (for more info, please check our pinned post).

[the0ther-side0f-dawn]

its 10° warmer tonight than it was earlier in the week so running my heated even on low is killing me with the heat sweats but unfortunately if the air isnt warm enough i cant breathe 😠 there is no winning

[sabotage-on-mercury]

Shane was actually not prepared for how different travelling with the centaurs are. Sure, he expected it to be nicer, having Ilya at his side. Basically he thought, he would just stick to watching movies, maybe read a few pages, and taking perfectly timed naps to prevent a jet lag, just that maybe now he could rest his head on Ilyas shoulder. Well. He might never know peace again.

He is now regular part of the little card playing group, playing one or two rounds of poker or asshole at the beginning of their flight. They are laughing and trashtalking and Shane's pleasently suprised he's not getting thrown out the group for ripping the others off with his stone hard poker face.

Shane accidentally started a book club that now semi-regularly holds meetings in their airplane to discuss hockey books, a tradtion that started when Luca asked Shane what he was reading and then proceeded to buy the books as well, which caused a handful more team members to follow suit.

But his favourite thing to do is talking shop with Ilya. Both off them sticking their heads together over their ipad, going though game tape, discussing strategies, examine plays with a level of perspicacity reserved just for them. Often they sit together with Bood and Troy, so they all can exchange their experiences with different opponents, examine weaknesses and strengths & Shane finds so much calm and joy in being part of a group of like-minded people, talking like equals, like a real team, not having to carry the burden of being the head of the team alone.

Shane doesn't get to watch as many movies alone and in peace anymore as before but he wouldn't change it for the world.

[the0ther-side0f-dawn]

i think the shittiest thing about being sick is that when youre the manager, you still have to roster for your own cover. like the 2ic doesnt have roster access and the rm is like "seems like a you problem"

so im desperately calling staff in between hacking up my lungs, and i called the rm and said "hey, im in a pickle" since none of my staff were available and she just tells me to solve it 🙃

[eldritchazure]

i think a part of ilya truly believes that when god created shane god took one of shane’s ribs and used that to create ilya. sometimes when theyre laying in bed together after having mind blowing sex or whatever ilya catches himself feeling around shane’s ribs like he’s trying to find the gap

[eldritchazure]

@fruitbatman holy shit i love your tags???? they are wonderful and beautiful and so very precious to me <3

yk how people are always saying that ilya stretches out shane’s shirts because he’s always putting his whole upper body under them while shane is still wearing them? ilya does that because he’s trying to burrow his way back to His Spot

[just-a-red-been-bread]

All the Things She Said

[hauntedyke]

quick doodle of these 2 from their red carpet lookz