Inspired by the news of a CiN special:
“This jobs the bane of my bloody life, d’you know that? - OI ARSEHOLE” His complaining interrupted by someone cutting in front of him.
“Honestly. People should learn how to drive, shouldn’t be allowed on the bloody roads.” He sighed. Staring the other driver down as he pulled out away from him.
“And then there’s Kayleigh, y’know? Goin’ on about this bloody Christmas team, ever since I put her on she’s been Elves this and Santa that, she wants to build a grotto! I told her we didn’t have the budget and I honestly think she was gonna cry. But I’ve found a gap in the budget that needs filled but if I tell her now she’ll have a heart attack! She’s already started with the Now That’s What I Call effin’ Christmas album and it’s only November!”
He comes to a stop outside Kayleigh’s house and presses the horn. He stifles a grin and gives a smile and a wave as he watches Kayleigh approach from her front door.
“Oh my god!” Kayleigh squealed as she opened the car door to reveal a massive yellow fluffy head sat where she should be.
“What? What is it?!” John replied, startled at the high pitched noise.
“Have you killed Pudsey?!” She exclaimed, sounding genuinely shocked.
“Sorry. We were having a chat and I forgot to put him in the back seat before we got here.” He picked up the oversized head and tried to throw him over the seats into the back, where the rest of his empty body was lying. But ultimately failing and ending up wearing the head.
“John!” Kayleigh was in absolute fits of giggles by this point. She climbed onto the passenger seat and leaned over, taking off the costume head and placing it on the back seat.
Their eyes met for a second longer than either of them intended, Kayleigh still laughing and John trying to pretend he wasn’t impressed.
“So... You were having a chat with the Pudsey head?” Kayleigh questioned after she had calmed down and they had set off for work.
“They’re making me wear him at work.” He admitted, shaking his head.
This obviously set Kayleigh off again.
“I bloody wish I were joking. I’m gonna kill whoever it was that suggested me”
“Why didn’t you just tell them no?”
“Well, it’s for t’kids innit. I dunno how I’d cope if I had a kid one day and it were needing a life saving treatment that I couldn’t get for them”
“So you think you’ll have kids one day?” Kayleigh blurted without thinking, immediately turning to look out the window and playing with her hair pretending not to be interested in the answer.
“Well, yeah. It could be nice. A little ‘un running about eh, half me, half-“ John cleared his throat. “Whoever I’m with in future I suppose.”
Saved by the bell, or rather, the alarm. As the pulled into a parking space at the shop, they discovered the fire alarm was going off.
“Oh Christ, I’ll have to stand outside carrying this bloody costume. Everyone’ll know it’s me inside if they see me with it!” John was on his knees on the drivers seat, again struggling to get the costume out of the back seat.
“Oh, John, behave! It’s for a good cause! People will think it’s cute!” Kayleigh chirped, taking the Pudsey head from John as he got the rest out.
By the time the struggle was done, the fire alarm was announced as a false alarm and everyone had piled back into the shop.
“Right, Well... see ya later?” Kayleigh smiled as they walked toward the entrance.
“See ya, Kayleigh.” John reached out to take Pudsey from her but she tiptoed and put it over his head. John just shook his head as he walked away.
John had given Kayleigh the keys before they parted ways so she was sat in the car waiting for him to finish for the day.
Kayleigh laughed to herself as she saw a massive yellow bear with an eyepatch stumbling towards her and opening the car door.
“Oh shit.” John exclaimed as he tried to open the car door but hit the Pudsey head instead and knocked his balance causing him to fall to the ground.
“Johnathan! What are you doing!?”
“I forgot I had this stupid thing on. I feel like It’s bloody moulded onto my skin” he stood up and shimmied out of the costume revealing his work suit underneath.
“So....” Kayleigh said, dragging out the end.
“Yes.” John said, rolling his eyes.
“What? You don’t even know what I was going to ask!” Kayleigh was already beaming because she knew what was coming.
“Let me guess... Elsie found out about the extra budge and you’re gonna ask about a grotto?”
“So I can do it?!?!” She squealed and started clapping. John couldn’t help but grin.
“Aw John, I’m so buzzing!” She learned over and kissed him on the cheek.
“... Will you be my santa?” She whispered in a cheeky voice.
“Right you - don’t push it! I’ll see ya tomorrow for the meeting, you’ll need to get a proposal and a team together for this grotto, mind!” He called after her as she was closing the door.
“It’s been ready since September, Jonathan!” She called back as she entered the house.
(End sketch, blank screen...)
John and Kayleigh return 22nd December for a Car Share Christmas Special