Choose your ideal Rabbinical soccer team
Problem: I don't play soccer and do not plan to start strategizing for how that would work.
Solution: I'm going to cheat. Like, really cheat.
In one of my favourite books, Hexwood by Diana Wynne Jones, there's a machine with the role to run through given scenarios in simulated reality. Well, it's more like it's bending reality. An important point is that it can bend the universe and people's perception and memories if needed, but it doesn't really overrule a person's free will.
Basically, it's a machine that puts people into situations to watch what happens.
Anyway, that was a preface to how it was originally activated supposedly to create the ideal soccer team from historical figures such as King Arthur and Julius Caesar. But we later find out that the clerk who said that was lying, and he actually asked for hobbits on a grail quest. He was disappointed, however, because there were zero hobbits and he was demoted to almost an NPC.
In short, I'm going to try and create my ideal rabbinical questing party. As I said, I'm cheating. It's all in the spirit of the Bannus.
Anyway, the problem with that is that I barely ever played role-playing games. So I'll have to be a bit handwavey there as well. But I like RPs way better than soccer.
Rambam: healer. Also knows all the laws straight and back. He's a bit of a rationalist, which can be a downside, and the alternative is Ramban, whose more of a mystician. But I'm closer to Rambam in many ways, so I'll take him.
Resh Lakish: pretty much the only rabbi I could think of that could supply brawn. We're talking about a bunch of scholars, after all. Resh Lakish, however, is well acquainted with fighting physically.
Ra’aba: the Ibn Ezra could be a great addition, I think. A cutting tongue, expertise in poetry... I suppose in DnD he might be a bard. Sure, he claims to have bad luck all around, but I'm sure he can do well.
I really want to have someone from the Tosafot area, but I think my empty slot right now would need a wizard or something. While all rabbis could fit this to a degree, a Kabalah scholar might be preferable. And so:
Rabbi Yehudah haChasid: a prominent figure among Hassidut Ashkenaz, an ancient movement from the Tosafot era that's unrelated to the modern Hassidut. They have their own branch of Kabalah, I believe, which is mostly apparent in Shir haCavod (An‘im Zemirot) and Shir haYichud. Important to note that he's not actually related to the Churva synagogue, that's a long and somewhat odd story. Willhe get along with Rambam and Ra’aba? I hope so. Not sure how Resh Lakish will react to the whole deal.
But hey, this is just my cobbled together answer for the question nobody asked. If any of my followers has an answer to anon's actual question, or even to the question I chose to answer, please say it!
